#your outfits suggest otherwise even though you're not even lying

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Fjord (extremely dressed like a pirate) to Jester (extremely dressed like a pirate): We've been over this. We're merchants. We're NOT pirates.

[straycat-writes]

Hi! If you're up for it can I request a scenario for Dazai where the female reader loses a bet with her friends (let's say over a game, fell free to choose the game or sport) and now she has to confess to him in front of the whole agency wearing a sexy bunny costume. She's super shy and nervous but has to do it BC she's true to her word! Dazai's as well as the agency members reactions as well please! Thanks a lot I hope you like this request enough to write it(✿^‿^)

[I cannot express in words just how much fun I had while writing this lmao xD thank you so much for the request]

Of Costumes and Confessions (Dazai Osamu)

“Naomi, please, I’m begging you.” You pleaded to her for the umpteenth time, “Don’t make me do this.”

“A bet is a bet, (y/n).” she laughed, “Plus, I’m really tired of you silently pining away after Dazai – san.”

“Silently pi – “, you let out an indignant cry, “No, I absolutely am not!”’

She rolled her eyes, “Sure, and the sky isn’t blue…Come on, (y/n)! You know you look smoking in that outfit!”

“That’s not what this is about!” you huffed, then sighed in resignation.

You and Naomi were standing in the storage room of the agency, dusty files piled up on all the shelves around you, and you were hoping against hope somebody wouldn’t need anything from here right at the moment.

You looked down at yourself skeptically. The costume you wee wearing was made of a shiny black velvet, a tight-fitting dress that ended just below your butt, cinched at the waist and with a sweetheart neckline. Sheer black stockings adorned your otherwise bare legs, feet clad in black stiletto heels. On your head, you wore a black hairband with bunny ears attached to it.

“Where the fuck did you even get this ridiculous costume?” you fumed at Naomi, “It’s the most indecent thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

She pouted, “I have my sources…Now, quit whining and go out there already!”

She pushed you slightly and you let out a yelp, then looked at pleadingly once more, as a last-ditch attempt to get here to let you off the hook. Naomi’s expression didn’t change, and you sighed.

This bet was a mistake. Scratch that, my life was a mistake.

Out there, the main office of the agency was swarming with your colleagues. Kunikida was probably storming through paperwork, Ranpo lazing around somewhere, and the rest busy with their own chores. And worst of all, Dazai was there, probably sprawled on the couch, but he was there. You got a slightly sick feeling in your stomach.

Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself, sneaking out of the storage room as stealthily as you could and making your way towards the office. Naomi followed you, and you stopped just outside the door. Come on, (y/n). What’s the worst that could happen?

Just the first couple of answers that came to your mind horrified you so much that you reflexively sprang into action.

The door creaked open, and it took everyone a while to notice you standing there. Once they did, though, a hushed silence fell upon the entire room. With your face already flaming red and hot, you forced yourself to take a look around.

Atsushi’s face was just as red as yours, and he was trying and failing not to look at you, Kunikida’s mouth was hanging open, an utmost confused expression on his face, Jun’ichiro looked flustered beyond belief, while Kenji just looked like he was about to compliment you. Dazai, however, was lying face down on the couch, refusing to budge.

It was only when Yosano let out a low whistle at you that he turned around. And once he did, his jaw almost dropped to the floor.

You took another deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate. Okay, compartmentalize. Imagine nobody’s here. Imagine they have all disappeared. God, I wouldn’t mind disappearing myself.

Your heels clicked loudly on the floor as you stalked over to Dazai, face still burning in embarrassment. He looked up at you, a starstruck expression on his face.

“Holy….shit.” he whistled slightly, looking up at you with wide starstruck eyes, “Damn.”

You squeezed your eyes shut for a second before opening them again. You’re not done yet.

“Dazai!” you said quickly, voice too high and loud, and he almost got startled.

“Yes!”

“I need to tell you s-something.” You say looking down at your feet and unconsciously tugging down the hem of your too-short dress.

He smirked at you suggestively, shamelessly looking you up and down, “Of course, how can I deny you anything when you look like that, sweetheart?”

“Shut up.”

“But I – “

“Shut up and listen to me. I like you!”

You could hear Naomi slightly cheering in the background. There, you wanted to scream, I said it! Can I please just dig a hole and bury myself in it already?

Dazai immediately sprang up from the couch, hands clasped together and eyes wide in wonder, all mock and for show, obviously. “Do my ears deceive me? What is this that am I hearing? You’re here to confess your undying love to me!?”

You rolled your eyes slightly, mumbling, “That’s not…quite what I said.”

“But it’s exactly what you meant, isn’t it?” he trilled, clasping your hands in his own, “And you donned this ravishing look all for me? How can I ever say no when you look so smoking hot? Oh, I have never seen anything more beautiful, I think I might just die!”

“That’s enough, you two.” Kunikida finally interrupted, coughing awkwardly and refusing to look even in your general vicinity, “Take this elsewhere!”

Gladly, you wanted to say, but Dazai beat you to it. “That’s right, people.” He said, trying to sound serious, “Move along, nothing to see her. Just my darling (y/n) wearing the sexiest bunny costume I’ve ever seen, just to impress me…Oh my, I think I’m melting again.”

It didn’t take long for the both of you to be kicked out after that. You rushed back into the storage room, desperately trying to hide yourself away until you could change back.

“Wait! My fairytale bunny princess! Don’t leave me now!” Dazai called out, following after you. Then he smirked, “Can’t believe you really agreed to such a bet.”

“Whatever. Now get out, I need to cha –“ you stopped midsentence, frowning, “…Wait, what? How do you know about that?”

He smirked, still shamelessly ogling you, “Well, I may or may not have bribed Naomi to place a bet with you about this…”

“What!?”

“Come on, it’s not like your crush on me wasn’t glaringly obvious, and since I more than just reciprocate your feeling…” he trailed off purposely, before his face lit up with a suggestive grin, “Those bunny ears really suit you, you know?”

Your face heats up even more, though from shame, anger, or embarrassment, you couldn’t tell. Most likely, it was all of those. You punched him in the chest, “I cannot believe you!”

He laughed, “Oh, come on! You cannot really blame me when you look this sexy, standing here in that costume like a - .”

“Shut up.”

“Although, in all fairness, I was the one who picked it out…”

“Shut up! …Oh my God, what!?’

“Alright, fine! I’m sorry.” He laughed, not sounding sorry at all. That smug smirk still sat on his face and you wanted nothing more than to punch it off.

You scowled, “I hate you.”

He smiled at you, sickly sweet, “I love you too.”