#your final challenge don't hc anyone as gay

[floertoer]

[crystallinestars]

Hello again, it's been a while! (since the last rants after the homophobia thing haha) I just wanted to send you and all the previous anons much love and support! I also hope that all these discussions will be seen as the humble brainstorming / sharing of experiences and ideas that they are.

As for all that was discussed before (loved the rants btw), I've said it before and I'll say it again: many people don't see stories as carefully woven threads / creative tools made by humans, they see it as tropes and mirrors. I feel like at some point experiencing stories has stopped being about "how do these things connect and what kind of interpretations can you draw from the source?" to become "what does this story says about / how can I make this story about me, myself & I?". And it doesn't help that this take echos one of the most common (but also very cliché ngl) thing that can be said about what a story is (I think we've all heard something like "stories help us learn things about ourselves").

If we go from there, what can you say to someone who sees their reflection in a story without looking or sounding like the "bad guy"? After all, how dare others question one's identity? Surely they must be some kind of puritan evil and a "x-phobe"!

I saw discussions on Twitter saying a few years ago that some people have cannibalized "leftist" jargons so much that they end up sounding like the very conservative they're trying to push back against and now "social justice" in many communities (esp in fandoms) is used as a weapon to police what everyone does in their corner, even if they're not bothering anyone else. It's too bad imo that in the court of social justice and its jargon, bullying and harrassment aren't treated as serious offenses, but I digress 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going back to the "people love tropes" thing, while I find it sad that it often seems they do not see anything beyond these tropes, a huge part of the blame definitely lies with the creators / companies providing this content. I agree with you 1000% that Mihoyo knew what they were doing with Alhaitham and Kaveh, what with how popular the phrase "and they were roommates!" has become. This is also why I hate when fandoms tell people like the bi anon for example that they should just "find other people like them in the community <3", because it essentially means "go be a killjoy somewhere else and spend your time dodging the content you don't want to see". I'm also not a big fan of popular fandom activties (shipping being at the top of the list, even if technically I don't mind hearing people talk about their hcs and interpretations, so long as they do it respectfully) so I understand how restrictive the experience can be.

And finally, the Kaveh situation. Both you and the anon made great points and frankly? Thank you so much for addressing all these things! Nothing irks me more than people going "omg x behaviour / outfit is SOO gay". I know it's supposed to be a facetious little joke originally and I'm also not here to bring justice to the pixels, but after hearing this so many times I'm starting to believe that many people genuinely think that you can identify a person's orientation just by looking at them. What happened to "traditional / straight men should embrace their 'femenine' side"? Idk, I think about this a lot and I've yet to truly gather my thoughts on the subject, but I do feel like this way of going about these things is a slippery slope leading straight into stereotyping territory.

Also, I feel you both when you say you don't think kavetham is a viable ship. It's of course a matter of taste and people are definitely allowed to play with different dynamics (healthy or not). I just think it's also a case of latching onto a trope (opposites attract maybe) and rolling with it. I've been friends with people whose personalities were drastically different from mine, and while it was fulfilling because we were constantly challenged by each other, let me tell you that this constant was also EXHAUSTING, to the point that it sometimes felt like having to walk on eggshells to keep the balance stable. So yeah, while I can see the appeal in a ship like kavetham, I'm not a fan. I could enjoy it if people focused more on the fragility and vulnerability that such a relationship can create, but alas. I suppose top/bottom discouse brings much more instant gratification.

Anyway, I think the girlies here (and all those who wish to join) should form an alliance and keep doing their things away from the drama. I'm really glad that your blog is a safe space to vent and talk about these things 💜

Glad to see you again, Anon! 💚

I never imagined that stating I'm not into BL in my bio would spark so much discussion on the topic of modern fandom culture. Not that I mind since I enjoy talking about these things, but it does make me wonder if there should be a dedicated space for it so everyone can talk about it together. In the meantime, I am more than happy to be a safe space for others to vent their frustrations and share their opinions on the topic 😊

We talked before about how people project themselves onto stories and characters, and you also made a really good addition to this that I haven't thought of before. It does seem like people stopped interpreting stories for their message/idea, and are now using it as a way to validate themselves instead. It makes me wonder what it is about modern Western culture that's pushing people to project so heavily onto entertainment media.

I won't comment too much on political jargon since I am not American, and oftentimes struggle to understand American politics. One thing I have noticed, though, is that a lot of Americans view everything around them through a political lens, even when said thing or person has nothing to do with politics. They jump to conclusions about where on the political spectrum said thing or person lies based on whether it aligns with their views, and then judge it to be either good or bad. No in-between.

And I also agree that the social justice camp has done a 180, and went from promoting equality and acceptance, to now policing everyone who doesn't adhere to their strict views of what is morally correct. It has led to a rejection of equality. I also wonder why these people feel the need to police everyone around them. Are they trying to make up for something deep down?

I am also very thankful to the anon for opening discussion on the issue of people assuming character sexuality based on physical attributes or behaviors. As we talked at length prior, the term "coding" is being thrown around everywhere to justify people's headcanons about characters. We've gone past sliding down the slope of stereotyping, because I've seen people use stereotypes to describe characters, and parade them as proof that the character is gay-coded.

For example, I saw someone say Kaveh is gay-coded because he whines and complains a lot, dresses feminine, and shows no interest in women (Said person also said a lot of other WILD things to try and defend their point. It was one of the most surreal conversations I've ever had). Some of this stereotyping started out as a joke, as you said, but lately it doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

Glad you are also of the opinion that Kaveh and Haitham wouldn't make a good romantic couple! Every time I see someone compile a list of how they're designed as a pair, and therefore meant to be lovers, I want to write a list stating why their personalities wouldn't make them work. Or if they do start dating, then why it would inevitably fall apart. But I digress.

I feel you when you say you've been friends with someone who is your polar opposite, and how difficult it can be. Though I wouldn't even call us friends because we are just too different to understand each other's point of view. It's frustrating and exhausting, for sure, which is why I commend you for being able to keep a friendship going.

Sorry for writing so much. I thought I would write less, but somehow I never can.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us! It's definitely encouraging and vindicating knowing there are others who share our views out there.