#you're just pot and kettle

[yonemurishiroku]

If Rick makes Nico show any aversion or discrimination towards Amphithemis for his lack of sanity, or anything for that matter, I'm burning the world down.

(wariness doesn't count bc if you're not wary in Tartarus, you are to die at the first step)

[sirenium]

I know we like to talk about people who claim to be for queer weirdness and really aren't, but it's also important to point out that there are people who will wholeheartedly say they don't want us to 'make up more weird shit'. There's a certain brain rot circulating that makes queer people with relatively baseline queer identities throw the queers with more complex and non-normative identities under the bus. I reckon it's a strain of the pick-me virus that causes a monogay or binary trans person with 'normal' pronouns to go 'you make us look like jokes!' or 'not all queer people are like THOSE freaks!' when faced with, say, someone like me: the loveless aroace, m-spec boybutch multi-agender individual who uses neopronouns and xenogenders.

Making cishet society question their ideas of sexuality and gender does not end at Kevin the monogay trans man with he/him pronouns. While that is more digestible than m-spec lesbians and gays and, god forbid, lesboys and turigirls, sweeping these very real queer experiences under the rug to make yourselves more palatable to cishets just makes things worse for queer people. You are only fighting for the acceptance of part of the community, and you're leaving the rest of us in the dirt.

[brainrotcharacters]

"Whoever you think I am, you've got the wrong guy" bitch I know why do you think I'm sure you'll help

[eeldritchblast]

Could we maybe stop reblogging the "astarion is gay" post from LAST SEPTEMBER??? Yall, the point has been made. You are yelling at and being triggered by a dumpster fire that has been burning for months. Just let it go. Block ppl with bad tastes but dont put that shit on my dash AGAIN to make the same point AGAIN. PLEASE.

Apologies for not checking the original date on every post that comes on my dash //sarcasm

[pa-pa-plasma]

guy who was talking over the (critically acclaimed) show/movie & scrolling through his phone the whole entire time: yeah it was fine i guess. i don't get the hype

me: i am going to kill you in real life

[talentforlying]

@ohsunshine: i know people don't like me. / from jon tma — HOW TO BE EATEN STARTERS

' how d'you figure? the antisocial personality bit, or the gettin' people to gab about their life histories with yer fear powers bit? 'ard to say, meself. '

it's weird to think of the magnus institute as a place, sometimes, and not just as the beacon of claustrophobic magical reckoning that it radiates; as an office, with assorted people and politics, and not a massive fucking spotlight with a dozen extra bulbs attached. already the big bloody hub of weird shite incorporated, beholding unlimited, then tack on all the nasty little power games involved with bosses and contracts and coworkers seeing into your soul ... can't imagine it makes anyone any FRIENDLIER to each other. there's a reason constantine stays far, far away from that cesspit.

still, sometimes the solution's a lot simpler than it first appears. he tilts his head thoughtfully, taking a drag off his silk cut and holding it out invitingly to jon, before blowing out the smoke in a cloud of sage advice.

' ... y'ever consider not bein' a prick? i mean, no offense mate, but you don't strike me as a bloke with extraordinary people skills to start with. now, ordinarily i'd say fuck 'em, don't need to be liked, but ... in your position? could certainly fuckin' help. '

[bigskydreaming]

That trope where one guy didn’t realize the other guy was gay or bi and thus even an option, and gets UPSET over not knowing the other was gay/bi before, but then at the same time....has never said or done anything to make the other guy know that he too was gay or bi and thus an option, so....what right does he have to be...upset? Exactly?

I will never understand this trope, I hate it so much, like, is this just a thing where my experiences are not universal and maybe this is actually an experience many mlm have faced in real life, b/c in my experience not knowing another guy was interested in men before might be cause for like, being MUTUALLY frustrated over missed opportunities/wasted time, but not ONE of them getting MAD at the other like this is THEIR fault, but idk maybe that IS more common than I realize?

Or is this actually just a really dumb trope that’s just drama for the sake of drama and doesn’t actually put much thought or attention into the idea of the closet as like, an actual bad thing vs just an opportunity for miscommunication shenanigans and drama.

[demigirlboss2girlrotboogaloo]

While failure rates are lower in sub-i7/i9 SKUs, they are not entirely absent. Some Core i5 SKUs *are* affected. Specifically, anything with the K suffix. If your CPU's name starts in a 13 or 14 and ends in a K, and you've been having stability issues lately (random crashes and whatnot), you're eligible for a warranty claim. Regardless of whether that happens though, your warranty *is* extended by two years, and this applies to both proccessor-in-box (PIB) products, which can be warrantied directly from Intel, and to tray processors found in prebuilt PCs, which can be warrantied directly from the manufacturer of your prebuilt PC.

Also, Intel has not yet released the patch to fix this. They're currently validating it internally (i.e ensuring it won't fuck everything up even worse) and will be releasing it to motherboard manufacturers shortly, who should be integrating it into a new BIOS update. The patch is slated for release to manufacturers by mid-August, so we can likely expect BIOS updates a week or two after that, start of September at the latest.

Do you know if the thing about Intel 13 and 14th gen CPUs dying is true?

Yeah there's a major flaw in some very high-end 13th and 14th gen processors. If you just got an off-the shelf computer (not a gaming computer, not a high end workstation) you're probably fine. If you got a high-end processor but are not having issues with this, Intel has released a patch. If you ARE having problems, Intel extended the warranty of those processors and you should replace the processor.

It is a big deal, however it is a big deal that impacts a small but disproportionately loud subset of computer users, so if your computer cost less than a thousand dollars basically you're cool, this isn't going to be an issue for you.

[spicebiter]

So we've been using a coffee maker for the last year or two as a catch all for coffee, tea, and also making broth from bouillon cubes. Well lately I've been making coffee but only like a half cup at a time to make iced coffee and I was like man this is kind of a waste of grounds and time and a coffeemaker doesn't really do the good grounds I got justice. So I did some Looking and we've updated our setup to a kettle and a pour over carafe and I justified the switch to my roommates who are staunch tea drinkers by telling them that it would make better tea as well. They didn't seem to think the difference would be that big but I fuckin showed them that tea is banger now that its made with actual boiling water. The carafe is mad convenient too I see why some people are very invested in making coffee this way

[kyogos]

Yes calling someone a slur should be at minimum a 5 week ban. Yes the bans for what's basically assault should also be increased from the 1-2 weeks at current. These thoughts can co-exist

[onehundredelevven]

Toji w/ preggy wife + out-of-this-world cravings

Toji stared at the counter. The ingredients you demanded sat before him like a challenge issued by the gods: instant ramen, whipped cream, peanut butter, and pickles. A lineup so vile it could send even the most daring chef into an existential crisis.

"Are you serious about this, or am I just getting pranked?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

You sat on the couch, legs crossed, a pillow pressed against your baby bump as you gave him the most innocent look in return. "Dead serious."

"You want ramen topped with this… stuff? And you're gonna eat it."

"Yup."

Toji groaned, running a hand through his dark hair. Of course, you had to pick this moment in your pregnancy to throw curveballs at him. The man was many things—an ex-hitman, a gambler, a loving yet blunt husband—but a gourmet chef? Not so much.

Still, he got to work. He boiled water, ripped open the ramen packet, and eyed the whipped cream like it might explode if he got too close. The sound of the kettle whistling filled the silence, but your voice broke through soon after.

“Don’t forget to add peanut butter! Like a lottt.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, spooning a glob of it into the pot and stirring like his life depended on it. The smell was… not great. Toji’s nose wrinkled in pure, unfiltered disgust. “You sure this ain’t gonna poison the kid?”

“It’s what the kid wants, Toji. I’m just the messenger,” you quipped.

When it was finally done—complete with pickles carefully arranged on top—Toji approached you with the steaming bowl in hand. He hesitated, watching your excited expression as you reached for it.

“I can’t believe you’re actually gonna eat this. You’re insane,” he muttered, plopping down beside you on the couch.

“Hey, you married me,” you shot back, grabbing the bowl and digging in with absolutely no hesitation.

Toji watched, equal parts fascinated and horrified, as you slurped up the ramen, the whipped cream melting into the broth in a way that should’ve been illegal. He leaned back, arms crossed, still trying to wrap his head around the scene.

“This is actually amazing,” you said between bites, offering him the spoon. “Wanna try?”

He recoiled immediately, glaring at you like you’d suggested he jump off a cliff. “Not in a million years, woman.”

“Oh, come on. You can’t knock it ‘til you try it!”

“Yeah, well, I’ll take your word for it.”

Despite his grumbling, he stayed by your side, handing you napkins, fetching water when you needed it, and even cleaning up after you finished. Disgusted or not, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d let you handle it yourself.

Later that night, as you snuggled into him in bed, you mumbled, “Thanks for putting up with me. And the weird cravings.”

Toji pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand resting protectively on your belly. “Tch. Don’t mention it. Just don’t ask me to eat that crap.”

But even as he complained, you knew he’d do it all over again if it made you and the baby happy.

[satoriberry]

i will actually click my heels if i finish this 4-day fast

[pagesofkenna]

"As stony as you are on the outside, you really do have a soft heart" 😭 honestly, trust Liam to have the only reaction to Ashton's ~situation~ that I really vibe with

[bi-writes]

can we have like a pov of like what MOB would do if something did happen to simon..? luv you!

mail-order bride

your tea is cold when you pick it up to drink it. it burns you, how cold it is, and you cough a little as you set it down, grimacing as you wipe your lips.

maybe it's just one of those days. the rain is hitting a little too hard against the window. the cats have been restless. the dark one shredded your yoga mat by clawing at it under a doorway, and the orange tabby managed to knock over all of simon's plants from the windowsill (which you frantically put back inside their little pots--would plant murder be his last straw?). you left a red shirt in when you washed the whites (you apologized to all of simon's white tees), and when you noticed holes in your favorite sweats in a pattern that matched a cat's claws, you called it a day and decided to make tea (another fail).

you rub your pounding head, taking a deep breath, but you aren't given long to count down from five when your phone begins to ring.

you pick it up, not recognizing the number, but you put it to your ear as you get up to boil more water.

"hello?"

a throat clears on the other end. "do i have mrs. riley 'ere?"

you frown, leaning your hip against the kitchen counter as you turn a burner on and put the kettle over it.

"uhm...yeah. this is she," you say finally. you look at the clock; it's late, much too late. "who is this?"

"this is john. ah...captain john price, ma'am."

you clench your jaw, closing your eyes. "um...i'm sorry, i...what can i do for you? simon's not--"

"we had to call for medevac," john says lowly. "ahh...should be headin' into surgery soon. i--"

"wait--what?" you cough a little, shutting the stove off, and you're scrambling as you make your way to the bedroom. he's talking again, you realize, but you can't hear what he's saying. your eyes are moving around the room, and you frantically start to pull drawers open, grabbing a sweater, jeans, actual clothes to put on. you shed your pajamas, hopping as you slide your jeans on, and he's still talking, but you still hear nothing.

you run into the dresser, the furniture rattling, and you let the phone go, realizing you can't see because there's tears blurring your vision. you wipe them away, looking around for your purse, and when you realize what this is, an emergency--right?--you head for the bookcase in simon's study.

you toss a few books down onto the floor, your hands shaking as your fingers curl around the spine of a leather bible. you set the book down on simon's desk, flipping through the pages before you find your prized paper nestled between the pages of the book of john.

you head back to the bedroom, picking up the phone again, and you shakily dial the number that's on the back of the card. you take a seat on the bed (because where would you go anyways?), and you close your eyes as you wait for someone to pick up.

it rings for too long. you gasp a little, clutching the phone tight, and you beg for someone to pick up, please, please, please--

"'ello?"

"johnny--" you hiccup, standing up. "johnny, he...he told me--"

"wha--who--" on the other end, johnny shouts at someone to get a move on, "--bleedin' christ, who is this?"

"it's me," you whisper. "i'm...simon's--"

"ach...fuckin' hell..." there's a long, deep sigh on the other end. "oi, lass, listen, he's alright--"

"he's...b-but someone said surgery."

"right, i..." he sighs again, and you hear a door shut on the other end. "ye sit tight, luv. i'll come get ye, okay?"

you sniffle, wiping your face, "just tell me he's gonna be okay. tell me i'm worrying for nothing."

johnny chuckles a bit, and the sound soothes you just enough. "gonna be alright. lad's fuckin' dramatic, i'll tell ye tha', big brick fuckin' stepped in front of--"

"okay, johnny, please don't tell me how simon almost killed himself and get your ass over here, okay?" you snap, and johnny halts his laughing.

"right, yeah, forgive me." you hear the rattle of keys. "'m coming."

"mrs. riley?"

your head lifts up. you blink the sleep out of your eyes, rubbing them gently, and there's a petite woman in scrubs smiling at you with her mask hanging around her neck. you have two sergeants at either side of you, captain price settled leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. you have a blanket around your shoulders, and when you slip it off, johnny takes it from you gently.

"you can see him now."

you get to your feet, and when you pass simon's captain, he tips his hat at you respectfully. you hurry and follow the doctor down the hall, and when you see simon's name scribbled on a makeshift sigh on the wall, you eagerly pick up the pace until the door is opened for you.

he looks peaceful laying there. the monitors beep quietly around him, little wires and tubes falling around him, and you let out a breath when you see him blink those dark eyes awake blearily.

"tha' an angel?"

you start to cry. "you're such an asshole."

you come close to the side of the bed, taking his outstretched hand, and you clutch his big hand to your chest. you curl his hand into a fist, pressing your face against the back of his hand, kissing his knuckles there gently. he uncurls his fingers and wipes at your tears gently, shaking his head.

"gave ya a right scare, didn't i?"

"yes, you dickhead," you sniffle, and simon chuckles lowly, wincing a little as he clutches his lower stomach. you use your foot to bring the chair behind you closer, taking a seat in it as you look up at him. he turns his head to face you, giving you a pained smile, and you let out the breath you've been holding since johnny came to get you. "what's the matter with you, simon?"

"shit happens."

you try not to roll your eyes, but the anger is not lost on simon. he squeezes your hand gently, his eyes flicking up to the clock, and he grimaces when he realizes it's nearly six in the morning. you must have been here all night, waiting for him.

"is this how it's gonna be?" you ask in a whisper. when he meets your eyes again, it's more difficult this time. what you're asking isn't predictable. it isn't a straight answer. and if he gives you anything that isn't the truth, it feels like a lie, and he can't do that to you. "w-waking up in the middle of the night? hoping that the call isn't...that...hoping that--"

"not that simple," simon interrupts gently.

"well, make it simple, simon," you say firmly. even through your tears, your voice doesn't shake this time. "make it very simple for me, then."

simon purses his lips, and for the first time since you've met your husband, he hesitates. he doesn't have an answer, at least a good one.

"don't wanna lie to ya, swee'eart," simon murmurs, and you stare right back at him.

"then don't."

he sucks on his teeth, looking away, and you tug on his hand, pulling his eyes back to you.

"look at me, simon," you say, and he looks sad. he's going to tell you something that you won't want to hear. he's going to tell you something that's been the truth since he enlisted, a reality that never bothered him until he realized he had a responsibility to keep a roof over your head. there's someone waiting inside of his house. there's a place that's waiting for him on one side of the bed he shares with you. there's someone else's shoes always next to his, and someone else's name that will always be beside his own.

family.

he has a family.

"i'll try and keep ya outta here," is all simon murmurs. you smile at that. it's a promise, but he won't lie to you. always honest, your husband. he tells you things as they are. he doesn't pretend. everything with simon is the truth as he presents it, and it's eerily comforting, even if the truth isn't one that you like.

"i love you, simon," you whisper, and when you touch his face finally, the sting of the gold of your wedding is a welcome distraction.

he vows to make this the last time you see him this way. nothing is worth seeing that face of yours like this--tired, disheveled, the angry crease in your brow. you're not meant for these things. for the waiting, the crying, the worry, it's not a life he meant to give you.

for a moment, he wonders if you'd ever ask him.

will you hang it up for me? will you leave for me?

the most terrifying part, he realizes, is that he isn't sure of what his answer would be. and he isn't sure of what you would do if he told you no.

[frotting-corporations]

parents don't scream, sob, punch the table, rupture my eardrums challenge

[smokeypeaches-and-honeyplums]

may I request headcanons for Wukong, MK, Red Son, and Macaque finding out their crush or S/O has a snort laugh that they try to hide?

please and thank you

PLEASE?????????????? GOD I HAVE A SNORT LAUGH TOO AND THIS FEELS SO PERSONAL I'M GONNA BLOW UP

Reader is Gender Neutral by default

MK

S/O

MK absolutely LOVES to make people laugh and you are no different

So when he finds out you have a snort laugh, he REVELS in it

To him, it's a sign that he's doing a really good job and! It's really fucking adorable for him

If you're self conscious about it, he won't push you too much about it

He'd never want you to feel uncomfortable while you're with him, so he'll never push further than he's allowed

He'll always express how much he loves it when he gets the chance to though, don't get me wrong

Eventually, it gets to the point he develops his own and it's a never ending cycle between you two

It feels nice to have a bit more of a positive about your snort, but it does hurt after a while--

MK gets worse when he purposefully does what he knows makes you laugh the most

Your nose and throat hurts by the end of it

If you're laughing especially hard, he'll be grinning ear to ear at just the sound of it

He's glad to have ONE consistency in his life, what with everything that goes on

So if he can listen to your laugh before the next crisis, that's enough for him

(THEY TOOK MY YELLOW TEXT--)

Crush

(darkskinredsontruthertilIdie)

You so happened to slip up one day when Redson heard it the first time around, immediately trying to hide it right after

He didn't think much of it, not in the way you'd think at least

He always associated it as another irritating staple that he loves so much about you and infuriates him that it is

Like, excuse me

How dare you have the most charming, cute and cheeky laugh he's ever heard?

A peasant like you shouldn't be making his heart soar so much and so easily all the damn time

What the fuck >:(

Redson wouldn't trying to fish for it as much as the others, his pride prevents him

But he does savour the moments you do do it, don't get me wrong

However, when he sees you hide it every time right after, a part of him wants to try and ease your worries. At least, that's what he thinks

"You know... you shouldn't feel like you should hide your laugh."

"For all the annoying little quirks you have, this one is..."

"It's... endearing."

Silence.

Silence...

"Redson? Are you going soft on me?"

"NO! No- Do not-"

"D'awwww, you care!!"

"Redson cares for me!!"

"Know what?! Forget I said anything."

Cue the laughter, only this time with a bit more snorting given his reassurance in his own special, Redson way

In your fits of laughter, you miss a small smile growing on the demon prince's lips

In all your teasing, it's worth it to see you like this

Crush

Wukong has a tendency to be cheeky to the tenth degree and then some

So trust and believe he already knows

And he REVELS in it

He likes the sound of your laugh in general, so the fact he manages to get you laughing so much that you start snorting makes his heart do flips

He doesn't like that you try to hide it, but he'd be the last person to talk about not hiding something you're self conscious about

Given the whole shared headcanon of glamour, it becomes pot and kettle

Has that ever stopped him tho?

No

So why would it now?

He tries to get you to feel more comfortable with your laugh because he finds it very important to him

Is it another reason amongst a sea on why he loves you?

Yeah

Will he admit it?

No-

Well?

Not now-

Ahem

Anyways, when he hears your genuine laughter, he's shining like the sun and absolutely BEAMING with joy and whines when you hide it

"NONONO, don't hide it! I love your laugh!"

"Don't hide it please :("

Pulls out the big guns (puppy dog eyes) just to make you agree

"Fine"

Happy Monkey <3

Of course, he genuinely does try to make sure you're comfortable about it and reassures you in his own Monkey King way, so don't be too worried.

S/O

Like Wukong, Macaque is the last person to tell you not to hide something, the scoundrel

Motherfucker is hiding EVERYTHING

Smoke and Mirrors the character™

But, that has never stopped him before

With that established, given how all doom and gloom this brooding monkey is, he finds solace in your laughter, and he's picked up on your snorting even when you try to hide it

He hears all

But, unlike the others, he won't push you or try to convince you to reveal something you don't feel like revealing

He would know how that feels personally

And if Macaque is anything at all, he's self aware. enough

He'll let you get comfortable laughing in front of him to your fullest at your own time, while giving you quiet reassurance now and again

Once you're sure he won't judge you for it and you're fully comfortable, your laughter makes him the warmest he's felt in so long

Who would've thought? The Six-Eared Macaque has a heart!/j