#you're being nice and kind to her? ok she's gonna be looking at you weirdly the entire way through

[themetallicnemesis]

My girl is so friendly and normal <3

[deadpool15]

Roommate Pt2

"Shit, my fucking head is pounding." I woke up, thankfully in my bed for the first time in a while. Looking to the side of me, I noticed the girl from last night that I couldn't remember almost felt bad. But for the first time, I kinda felt something for her, or maybe I didn't feel anything. My feelings have been a bit out of the order, to be honest. I have a habit of confusing feelings with lust. Now, the issue with kicking out a one-night stand is that I can't distinguish feelings and whatever the fuck I'm feeling. Especially with Bada and Howl, they are like older, annoying siblings who won't get off my case. I mean, I love them but it seems like they are fucking up my vibes. Like last time, they literally hastled me as I was walking out the door. I'm trying to meet the new guy.

This isn't the first time it has happened, but I guess it didn't occur to me that they were on the bitter side about my dates, but I thought that was just Badas' impression of my weirdly interest in stupid fucking people, because I mean the smaller the brain the better the sex. Then Howl came along, and it was fine for a while until he started acting like Bada as well. It was weird. "Why the fuck is Bada's man on my case like my older brother." I get out of bed realizing in the hour long I've taken to figure out my thoughts, the girl had left. "She was cute. I'll give her that. Hey, maybe I do like her." I statt walking towards my bathroom to take a shower. More time to think to myself yay. But maybe I was just overthinking everything, I mean, they must see me as a little sister. Yea, that would make sense, with me being younger than them in a foreign country, might I add.

"Yea, I know they are simply trying to protect me and probably think I should slow down with all the blind dates and stuff, but I'm not a little girl. They need to chill." As I finish washing myself, I step out the shower, wondering what Bada is cooking. I can smell food, just can't tell what it is exactly.

Meanwhile

"We have to tell her tonight, we can set up a dinner at a nice fancy restaurant and talk to her. Like slowly get it out, I mean, it shouldn't be hard, I heard America is pretty cool or just open about that stuff." Badas says as she finished making the American style breakfast that Mika loved. "I mean yea, America is more open about these kinds of situations, but we can't just tell her out like that, Bada." Howl states kind of arguing with Bada to make it be known that there was no going back after this. "Baby, look at me, I know, ok. I know this is a difficult situation but we have to do this together. This is something we have to do together, we have to get our girl baby this is our only chance." Howl smiles at Bada, pulling her close before whispering the words i love you in her eyes. They stand there in silence falling between the two, agreeing on their plan of getting their third piece of their heart.

Hours had passed since that close kept moment between the two. They arrived at the restaurant, and at first, they thought to keep the meeting causal until they realized maybe the beautiful atmosphere of a happy place with amazing food would soften the fact that the two people she has been basically living with were in love with her. "Reservation for Ms. Lee", they stopped checking their appearance for the 17th time of what it feels like tonight. They smile at the waiter while following him towards the table. "See, everything is going just fine. It's gonna be perfect. She will show up soon and we'll finally have our girlfriend. Game time, baby."

After about 10 minutes of sitting there and the waiter constantly coming over, pestering them about having to order something, they start to lose hope. "This was a bad idea," Howl says in despair. Though Bada still has a strong belief that you're going to come, she pulls herself together and tries to get Howl to believe as well. "Baby, I love you, ok. So I say this with all the love I have for you. MAN UP." In that very moment, Bada sees a glimpse of your pink and black hair coming through the door in a rush. Thanking the heavens for giving them another chance.

"I'm so sorry, guys. I got held up with Heaven." Mika states as she drops her coat on the chair and sits down on the opposite side of Bada and Howl. As soon as they both hear the name, leave your beautiful lips, their mouths fill with a hint of distaste. Praying to heaven completely forgetting that happened to be the name of your date or new fling. Bada and Howl had one thing and mind, and that was making sure you forgot that girls name entirely by the end of the night. "I'm here now though, I know it doesn't make up for the fact that I was so late, but I'm really sorry." Bada smiles as Howl seems to be wanting to just get it out already. Seeing this, she grabs his hand firmly, letting him know it will happen. "It's fine. We were just worried, but you're ok. So how about we just order now." You all look at each other, agreeing. Howl helps you with the menu, knowing of course you need no help he just likes to be close to you. Though they both know you'll need help ordering, your social anxiety playing a huge factor in that. Looking at the menu, you finally decided on a simple shrimp pasta. You could never go wrong with a classic. Howl orders a steak with mash and vegetables, and Bada follows along ordering lasagna, one of your favorites just in case.

"So, what did you guys need to talk about so urgently. Hopefully, this isn't about trying to get me to join the academy again. I don't care how much potential you think you see isn't a dancer in me, I promise." Mika says, deciding to start the conversation off with a slight joke to ease the situation. Truth be told, she didn't have the slightest idea why they both wanted to talk with her. No matter how hard she tried to ponder over the thought, it didn't make sense why they were here together. "No, I know you all camera shy and stuff, but you are a good dancer flower." Hearing Bada say that name brought her a sense of comfort, it was a name she had given her when they first met. She claims Mika sparked in the sun like a flower. Smiling at that thought, it does ease the tension, "Good, because all those people in one big room is just like a no for me." Howl sits up making eye contact with bada before deciding they should go to the restroom, getting the message they excuse themselves for a minute. Stepping inside Bada immediately breaks down her strong facade. Howl grabs her in his arms, trying to calm her down. "This is stupid she can never love me. It's so hard, baby. I'm trying to be strong for us, but she doesn't want me, I can tell. I see her with all these tall girls, and I think im like them, so why is it never me." Howl shuts up her crues with a simple kiss, breaking her away from the moment. "Your wrong baby, she will love you just like I love you, ok? You shouldn't be doing this alone. You're right. I need to man up and be their for both of you. Don't ever think for a second you're not enough ok, let's go out there and get our girl."

As they are left in the bathroom taking a moment for themselves, only terrible thoughts are crossing Mika's mind. What had she done that was so difficult to tell. She felt worse for not being able to remember it. She immediately thinks she might have crossed the line. Maybe Bada felt like she was coming onto Howl sneakily. Sure, she thought Howl was hot and mean fuck they both were and would it make her a bad person if she admits she has fantasized about them both a some point. But Bada was her best friend, and she refused to lose a meaningful friendship because she couldn't keep it in her pants. Throughout this meltdown, she is having she doesn't notice Bada and Howl come back from the restroom, nor does she notice she has started crying. Finally catching sight of them, she immediately breaks down. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, I promise I didn't mean to. Bada, you're my best friend, and I tried to hard not to make you feel any way. I even changed habits that I grew up with, like walking around with less clothes and other shit that may piss you off. Howl, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Please don't kick me out." Hearing this, they both move towards the other side of the table, grabbing her with Howl, setting her on his lap, this of course catches her off guard, but Bada keeps her in place.

"You didn't make anyone uncomfortable flower, I promise. We aren't gonna kick you out, or I'm not." Bada says, rubbing her big cheeks to calm her down while wiping the tears. "We wanted to tell you the truth. We've been in love with you for years now, baby. At first, we thought something was wrong until we both talked it out and realized we both had feelings for you. Then, Bada told me that you had said something about poly relationships at one point, and we realized their was nothing wrong with it." Howl states, turning her around to straddle his lap, rubbing her waist as comfort. "W-wait, what? You love me. The both of you, I thought I was imposing with the constant amount of third wheeling, that's why I've been going on more dates." Mika speaks up confused. How could two of the most beautiful people inside and out love her. "Baby, we love spending time with you. If anything, we were trying to build up the courage to tell you. And now you have us." Bada says, hooking her fingers with yours and Howl. "No more dates, we are all you need." Mika smiles, looking off happy. I Thinking she was getting kicked out or just wrong for liking two people, and it worked out. Bada starts to usher both of her partners out of the restaurant to go home, says they could order in, simple wanting to spend time with each other. They faithfully agree and pile into the car, making their way home.

Stepping out of the car, going into the building, Mika notices that neither one of their new partners can keep their hands to themselves. Though Mika all of a sudden feels shy with all the affection. Howl reaches out for her hand in the elevator and pulls her to him, leaving open-mouthed kisses down her neck. While Bada turns around staring at her with a smile that could only be described as pure lust and desire. "You know, I'm starting to believe that our little flower here, knew we were listening to her fuck other people. Torturing us, weren't you?" She listens to what Bada says completely, forgetting she used to invite people over to her place after her dates. But before she could answer, the elevator stops, opening up indicating they have reached their floor. Bada walks out, going to the front door tapping the code in while Howl grabs Mika, throwing her over his shoulder. Yea, she was truly in for it tonight. Opening the door, they immediately walk into their room, Howl throws her down on the bed. Leaving them both standing in front of her. She had never realized how much taller they were than her. Towering over her, making her feel so small, and yet she doesn't feel afraid if anything, she is excited.

"Bada, right baby. You do like torturing us, don't you? Almost every single night, hearing your sweet, beautiful moans for some random shitty guy and girl you could find. You wanted our attention, didn't you, baby?" Mika nods her head as Howl pushes her down on the bed, working on kissing up her legs, reaching straight for her pussy. Staring at it like it's a prize he had finally won. "Giving this pussy up all the time, that shit ends tonight you her me little girl." It wasn't a question, no it was a demand. That he knew she would follow without a second thought. Peeling her panties down, he catches sight of the little bow on the front, motioning it to Bada how she gets on the bed smiling. "I told you she is our little flower." Bada comes behind your gathering you in her arms as Howl finally takes off your underwear. Pushing your legs up yo have you spread out more for him, with Bada holding you still. You hadn't even realized she had taken off her pants, leaving her just in her Calvin Klein thong and the blouse she chose to wear. You whine at the thought, catching both of their attention. "N-naked, please?" Hearing this, they need no further instructions. With Bada pulling off her shirt and bra, you feel her pulling down your dress, sliding it off, leaving you in nothing. Feeling her bare breasts pressed against your back leaves you moaning. Though Howl takes his time, slowly pulling down his pants and shirt, almost giving a strip tease. "Come on, we can't leave our flower waiting. We had to show her what she was missing." Bada moves her lips down to leaving love bites on you neck while playing with you breast.

Howl forgets about his underwear at the moment, leaving you to gawk at his abs. He watches you stare before diving straight in. Sucking and licking your cunt like it's his last meal. "You taste so good, baby." You push his head further in with your thighs, "f-fuck yes." Bada bites your ear while moaning. You trun your head, realizing she was fingering herself. She looks so fucking hot you can stand it. Howl pushes a finger in why his nose is positioned right on your clit, casuing you to scream out. You start to tap Bada motioning her towards you, "P-please sit on my face," and who is she to deny such a request. Positioning herself to hover over your face, she contemplates if this is the best idea, but she stops thinking when Mika pulls her thighs down, closing them around her head. Sucking on her clit her she moves Badas hips to ride her face, while Howl is jerking himself off still eating Mika out. With Mika's nose mumbling against Bada's clit everytime she moves she is so close to her high. "Fuck... baby I'm gonna cum." Bada yells out loud grabbing the headboard, as Howl feels Mika cuming in his mouth. Bada squirts all over Mika's face never had she felt such a high. Howl and Bada make eye contact, now realizing why all those girls that came into Mika's room screaming.

Howl grabs Bada kissing her while she leans in sucking on his lips, wanting a taste of everything Mika has to offer. Mika dares at them with pure love, wanting more. Bada pushes him down, getting on top of him while pushing him inside. While she is used to the stretch, she knows Mika isn't, and they will have to work her into it. So, Howl starts fingering Mika again, pushing in two fingers at a time overstimulating her. "S-shit....wait." but they pay her pleads no mind, and he grabs her thighs, pushing in another finger moving faster than before. Bada, seeing this, starts moving herself up and down. Dancing we coming into affect when they fuck. All you can hear from the room is skin against skin. "Yes...right there....fuck give it me." Bada says while slamming herself down onto Howl shaft over and over again. She feels the band in her stomach slowly start to snap, knowing she had just come before leaving her sensitivity. Howl notices this and moves his feet to stand on the bed and further slam his hips against her own, causing Bada to clench around him, holding onto his chest. "That's fuck baby. Fuck come all over me." That pushes her over the edge. Leaving her crying and coming on command.

Bada and Howl take a moment to themselves while he is still fingering Mika, even though she had come 2 more times. Howl stops while Bada gets off of him until they hear a phone ring. They ignored it for a moment until it hangs up and rings again. Howl reaches over realizing its Mikas phone, about to put it on, do not disturb. Until he sees the caller ID, "So you haven't cut ties with that heaven girl baby," Mika looks up and him wide-eyed, realizing he told her she would meet up later. Before she can speak, Howl flips her over positioning her on all fours. She feels the heavy weight of his shaft pulsing against her throbbing abused clit. He passes her the phone, and she looks at it. He wouldn't want her to answer it at a time like this, would he? But Bada grabs the phone, answering it while placing it against Mika's ear. She hears Heaven speak up, asking about where she is, wanting to answer quickly so she can end the call until Howl starts to push in. "W-wait...fuck...pleasee. Too..big." Howl stares at her perfectly arched for him. "You can take it, baby. I know you can. Good girls take it nice and well. You're my good girl right". Each word is punctured by an inch until he is fully inside.

"So full." Is all Mika can manage out, causing both Bada and Howl to smile at their precious baby. Heaven after a while goes silent on the phone, yet doesn't hang up. Bada quickly speaks up, while putting pressure on Mika's clit. "Our baby is a bit.. occupied at the moment if you couldn't tell. I would say she could call you back later, but she won't. Don't call this phone again." In the process, Howl starts hammering his hips into Mika's, holding her up feeling on the imprint in her stomach. "Would you look at that baby, I'm all the way up here. Can you feel me in your stomach, can't you? Claimed I wouldn't fit, but look at you. It's like your pussy was made to take me. Made just for us." Howls says while pressing down on your stomach. Bada moves to kiss you sucking on your tongue, leaving you just overwhelmed, never experienced anything like this. Completely cock drunk. "Gonna take good care of you flower, always."

[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 20 - Leftovers

Paolo sat down on a bench in one of the college's many courtyards. He leaned back, staring at the sky, and sighed. 

The others were calling people, exchanging information, making plans. I can barely remember who I am. Fat lot of good I would be.

He felt more than heard someone sit down next to him. He said nothing. He didn't particularly want company.

“Come on big guy, what's eating you?” A perky voice said next to him.

He looked down - the strange woman with the pink bunny hood sat next to him. She was grinning happily.

He growled and leaned back again. “What do you want? I'm not really in the mood to humor you, you know."

He felt something shake the bench, and he heard a bonk that told him the woman had hit the bench with her shoes. Swinging her feet.

“Come on big guy, I know you're bothered by something. You wanna talk?”

He looked back down, fighting the urge to get up and walk away.

Then he paused. She's the first one who's really been nice to me since… whatever the hell this is happened. He nodded. “You're… the yellow guy's girlfriend, aren't you? Noisette, I think someone said?”

She grinned toothily. “That's me! I'm not his girlfriend though - we're actually married.” She leaned over and whispered, “my name's actually Hazel. I prefer Noisette, though.” She leaned back and smiled. “Ok, I told you a secret, now you tell me something about you!”

Paolo blinked. What is this woman? “I… still don't know. My past is… fuzzy. Not just the last few years, but everything. Who was I? What did I do for a living? How do I know all this stuff bouncing around in my head?” He shook his head ruefully. “I don't think I even have a home.” 

Noisette smiled up at him. “Well, that's OK! You could stay with one of us til you get back on your feet!”

Paolo thought about the open hostility the others had shown. “I doubt that.”

Noisette made a “pshaw” motion with her hand. “Noisey has all kinds of places we don't use much. You can stay in one’a them!” Her grin took on a slightly malicious edge. “I'll just talk to him.”

Paolo didn't know how to respond. He wasn't used to people being nice to him without being paid first. How do I know that? “That's, uh, very generous of you.”

Noisette's face fell just  a little. “Well… I don't blame the others for havin’ hard feelins, after all. What you did as Pizzahead was… pretty bad.” She brightened up again. “But that was this Pizzamancer guy, right? It wasn't you!”

Paolo found himself being completely truthful. “I think… part of it was me. I don't always… feel emotions right, I think.”

Noisette’s mouth made an O of surprise. “Oh. Are you one of those, what do they call them… sociopaths? Don't ya ever feel sad about anybody? Or happy?”

Paolo thought back. When have I ever had a chance to, really? I always had to put on a mask… I think?  “I… honestly don't know. It never really, er… came up.”

Suddenly a splitting headache lanced through his head. He grabbed his head with both hands.

He heard Noisette's voice, but it was echoing weirdly, distorting…

“Y-y-ou OhohooOK biiiig GuYyyY..?”

Then he was looking at a young Ninda's face, pale. Feminine.

Paolo felt a flood of warmth and safety pour through him at her face.

Look at him, for once in your life, Giorgio!

A round, greasy face hove into view. Instantly the feeling changed to fear and loathing.

He's weak an’ pathetic, is what he is! He ain't gonna amount t’ nothin’!

Don't say stuff like that in front of him! You'll twist his mind! 

Then he snapped back to reality.

Noisette was staring up at him, a look of mild horror on her face.

He felt something warm on his face… he reached up and wiped it away. Tears? And pizza sauce? “I… I remembered something. I think it was… my mother?” His head felt like it was splitting open. “Aagh.”

Noisette gently touched his arm. “You remembered somethin’? Your nose started bleeding.”

Paolo shook his head. “It felt… warm, for a second. Happy. Then my father showed up.” His brow furrowed. “Then it was hatred.”

Noisette nodded. “Maybe you repressed some stuff? An’ now that you're out from under the Pizzamancer, it's comin’ back!”

Paolo gripped his head in both hands. “I hope the rest of it isn't so painful.”

Noisette clapped her hands. “But that proves you've got emotions! Maybe you just… need to find ‘em again!” She hopped off the bench, waving for him to do the same. “Come on, come on! Let's go walk!”

Paolo hesitated. I barely know what's going on. These people hate me, and from what they're saying, it's not exactly unfounded. Then he paused again. Then again, I have no home, no life, and barely know who I am. What have I got to lose, really? 

He nodded. “All right. Not like I can be much help here.”

Noisette hopped up and down, clapping and looking ecstatic. “Yay!” She grabbed his arm and dragged him along. “Ok, first things first! Let's get you some fresh clothes! People are gonna be uneasy enough til they get used to ya without ya walkin’ around in that old clown outfit!”

Paolo looked down - he was still wearing the overalls and white shirt he'd woken up in, but they were ripped, stained, and, in a few places, burned. “Can't argue with you there.”

Noisette let go and started walking briskly. “I know just the place! Come on!”

~~~~

Paolo walked out of the clothing store, turning to examine himself. It was a simple outfit - slacks, a white cotton shirt, and a light coat. But the material was quality. “Gotta say, it's nice having fresh clothes.”

Noisette emerged behind him, festooned with bags. “I picked up some other outfits, too! We'll just drop them at the apartment I called ahead to, get you a key, and then,” she giggled, “I wanna show you the town!”

Paolo was still uneasy. Everyone was staring at him. What did I do to these people? “Uh, Noisette,” he said, “what… exactly… did Pizzahead do? I feel like I'm gonna be lynched.”

Noisette’s expression fell. “I… You'll have to talk to people to find that out, Paolo. I only know… a few things.” She squirmed. “He was always nice to me… but Noisey told me Pizzahead used to use me as leverage to get Noise to do what he wanted. And I heard… other things. Horrible things.” She looked pale. “Almost everyone here is from the Tower… and almost everyone here has a story. About Pizzahead.”

Paolo stared into the distance. Sweet pizza father, what did I do to these people? 

~~~~

Noisette opened the door, and gestured broadly. “Ta-da! Welcome to your new digs!”

Paolo stepped inside. It was a standard apartment at first glance… but he noticed the plush couch, the giant TV, the dishes in the cabinet. He put down a bag. “And you're OK with just… letting me use this?”

Noisette nodded. “We've got a few places around for guests to use. But with the Tower floatin’ around, we're not gettin’ any visitors. “She smiled up at him. “So don't worry about it! It's all paid for!”

He hung his head. “Th… thank you. You're being… so nice to me. And if what you said is true… I don't deserve it.” 

Noisette sat down, and gestured for him to do the same. “Aw, Paolo, don't be like that! It wasn't really you!”

Paolo slumped into a recliner. “That's the thing, Mrs…"

Noisette waggled a finger. “Just Noisette, Paolo.”

He nodded. “Noisette, the thing is… I don't think the Pizzamancer was totally controlling me, not until later. He was influencing me. Some of that…” he shuddered, “some of that was me. I'm not… really a good person. I…” he clutched this head. “Aagh, I can't remember who I was! It just feels like I was a bad guy!”

Noisette nodded, her smile gone. “Maybe ya were, big guy.” She hopped up, walked over, and put a hand on his knee. “Don't mean ya can't start over. Think of this as a chance to be someone else!” The toothy smile returned.

Paolo smiled back, hesitantly, then more confidently. “That's… that's a good point. Thank you.” He was silent a few moments. “I feel like you're the first person who's ever really been nice to me.”

Noisette poked him. “Maybe ya just needed a friend!”

Paolo nodded.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him to a standing position. “Come on, let me show you the Town!”

~~~~

As Paolo sat down, Noisette brought a plate of pastries over, a long with two cups of coffee. “Here ya go! My own recipes!”

He held up the pastry - he'd never seen one look so… lurid before. “Are you sure this is OK?”

She was already chewing on one. “Oh yeah,” she muttered around crumbs, “they're some of my best sellers!”

Hesitantly, he bit into one. A burst of flavors assaulted his mouth, and he stopped. He was picking up at least three different flavors of fruit - strawberry, blueberry, and… what is that? 

As he swallowed, she grinned. “You like it?”

“I… think so,” he said. “What's that third flavor?”

“Something the gnomes cooked up. Said it was a cross-breed of a bunch of different fruits. They call them flashberries, because they really make other stuff pop!” Noisette kicked her feet. “Really gives food some bite, don't it?”

“It does.” He looked around as he sipped his coffee - everyone other than Noisette in the cafe was either glaring or looked extremely uncomfortable. He hunched his shoulders. 

Noisette noticed the motion, and stood up. “Hey, everybody!” she said, “I just wanna let everybody know - I know this guy looks like Pizzahead, an’ he used to be, but he ain't Pizzahead no more! He was bein’ mind-controlled! His name's Paolo, an’ he's lost his memory! So be nice to him, OK?”

Several of the patrons’ faces shifted then, looking more sympathetic. 

“He's still trying to figure out what's goin’ on, and he's gonna be livin’ here for a while!” Suddenly the smile took on a dangerous edge. “If I hear about anyone causin’ him trouble, there'll be problems, an’ I don't want that, OK? Everybody spread the word!”

Suddenly every smile was bright and shining, and everyone nodded vigorously. Paolo was bemused. 

Someone came and whispered in the bunny woman's ear, and she waved. “Sorry, hun, got something I need to check on. Be right back!”

As she went into the back, a young Pig lady approached him. “So, you're not… not Pizzahead?”

Paolo shook his head. “No. Pizzahead was… partially me, but mostly the Pizzamancer. I think he took my dark side and made it… a lot worse.”

She nodded, sitting down. “And you can't remember any of it?”

As if on cue, his eye twitched as a shard of glassy pain shot through his head. He vaguely remembered seeing the woman's face… twisted in fear. “I…” he clutched this head. “I get… flashes. I saw… your face just now.” He shook his head. “Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry. But, could you tell me?”

The young Pig went pale. “You, you came to Pig City. You came to our cafe… you told us if we didn't clean it up you'd turn us into bacon.”

Paolo’s eyes went wide. “Oh Gods.”

The young woman quickly waved her hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Oh, you didn't hurt us. And… your face is different now.” She stared into his eyes, and nodded. “You're different. I don't think I'm afraid of you.”

He nodded, and gave a weak smile. “Well, that's a good start, I guess.”

Suddenly the entire cafe seemed to be wanting to ask him questions, to tell him about his past. Words flew past faster than he could respond.

He couldn't take it. His head started aching. “Stop, please stop,” he whispered.

“Hey hey HEY! Everybody, back up!” he heard Noisette's voice say over the cacophony. Everyone backed up, and she gently touched his shoulder. “Paolo? You OK?”

He slowly took his hands off his head. “I'm… OK,” he said. “I'm sorry, it was just too much at once… AGH!” He grabbed this head again as more stabbing pain lanced through it, a series of jumbled images and feelings flashing before his mind's eye.

“Oof, overloaded, huh?” Noisette said. “Everybody, please, give him some space.”

A chorus of quiet apologies sounded around him, and everyone returned to their seats. Everyone spoke in hushed voices, occasionally glancing at him.

At least they're glances of concern, not fear.

His head slowly stopped throbbing as Noisette sat across from him. “Sorry,” he said.

Noisette reached across and grabbed his hand. “They never got to get this close to Pizzahead without risking their lives before. Now… they're curious. The real Pizzahead would've gone on a rampage if that had happened to him.”

He considered. “I just wanted them to stop.”

She nodded. “If that ain't proof yer not Pizzahead, I don't know what is.”

~~~~

Paolo flopped down in a chair in the apartment Noisette had loaned him. His head throbbed. He leaned back, covering his eyes. Impulsively he jumped up, flipping the lights off.

Immediately he felt better. 

The whole world felt like it was too bright, too loud, too sharp. Every sensation is like a knife in my head! As he sat in the quiet dark, the throbbing slowly eased, and he found himself able to think again.

Migraines, he thought, they're called migraines.

Amazing that he could forget something even that basic.

Another memory floated to the surface, a newer one: a doctor at the hospital…

~~~~

“Mr. Pizzahead…”

“Please, don't call me that,” Paolo had said. “My name is… is… Paolo. Ach.” He'd clutched his head again.

The doctor had looked nonplussed. “Well, Mr. Paolo, I've never seen a pattern quite like this before, but it's plain you've got some noticeable brain damage, mainly to your memory regions. Please, take it easy. You may experience episodes of sensory overload. Try to stay somewhere quiet for a few days.” He'd huffed. “I'd prefer to keep you here for observation…”

Paolo had gently shaken his head. “I probably can't afford it.”

The doctor had shaken his head, as well. “Well, aside from massive memory loss, I'd say you're in good health. What will you do?”

Paolo had brushed his pocket - in it was the mysterious letter, addresses to him:

Please come to the History Department of La Crosta University immediately. It’s vital to your future. You will be cared for.

“I've got somewhere to be.”

~~~~

He'd gone to the meeting, memories floating to the surface of his mind as he walked. He couldn't even begin to guess how much he'd lost, but he'd known one thing: the Pizzamancer had ruined his life.

I'll kill him.

He looked around at the darkened room. At least he was right: I got taken care of. He considered his good fortune, that he'd taken the little rabbit’s word. He had a home… for now… he had - well, maybe not friends, but allies - to be with.

Now I just have to find out who I was as a person.

He leaned back in the chair. The seat was comfortable enough he could just… nod off…

~~~~

Paolo stood patiently as the man waited on other customers. He was nervous. Hate the man as he did, the last words of the dying were not easily ignored.

“Don't let it out of your sight. I mean it, boy! If you listen to one thing I've ever said, don't let it go…”

He shivered. It was only the second time his father had sounded scared.

“Can I help you, young man?”

Paolo squared his shoulders. My turn. He walked up to the counter. he old human across from him smiled in a friendly way. “I have something I wanted to get appraised, and possibly sell.”

The man nodded. “Very well, then. Let's see it.”

Paolo carefully took the ring out of his pocket and laid it on the counter. Just as carefully, the man picked it up, carefully fitting a jeweler's loupe to his eye. He looked the ring over. “Ohh, this is quite the treasure, young man! The workmanship is…” he paused; Paolo knew he was choosing his words carefully - the more lavish the praise, the higher a price Paolo could ask. Finally he spoke again… “passable. The ruby is… is…”

The ruby, the size of a pepperoni, glistened like old blood in the light of the shop. It had never needed polishing. It seemed to beckon to him, even now.

Paolo cleared his throat, and the man jumped. “Sorry, my boy, don't know what came over me, there. It's quite an impressive piece, but I'm not sure if I could find a buyer. I'm afraid I could only give you $5000 for it.”

Paolo kept his face blank. It's worth far more than that. He shook his head. “Now now, sir, while that's quite a generous sum, I couldn't possibly part with it for that much.”

Paolo could practically smell the man's avarice. “I… I could perhaps give you 10- no, 15,000?”

Paolo tried not to smile. He wants it, but I can get more. He reached out and gently plucked it out of the man's hands. “I appreciate your time, sir, but a man offered me $50,000 at another store. I thought perhaps you would be more honest, but I see you aren't interested.”

The man was practically salivating now. He reached out and grasped Paolo’s clenched hand. “No, no! Sorry, sorry, young man, I misspoke! Not sure what I was thinking. I'll give you $100,000 for it!”

Paolo’s heart leapt. $100,000! That would be more than enough to invest and grow in the time I have! He nodded. “Deal.”

The pawnbroker nodded, smiling widely. “Come, come, let's set up the details. I assume you don't want it in cash.”

Not if I don't want to be robbed before I get to the bank. “No, sir. A direct deposit will do nicely.”

As they worked out the details, Paolo found a strange dread gnawing at his happiness. He shook his head, looking down at the ring. Can't wait to be rid of you.

And yet the idea seemed to fill him with dread.

Finally the old man hung up his phone. “Very well, young man. Simply hand over the ring, and I'll send you the money immediately.” The old man held out his hand, expectantly.

Paolo held the ring out… and hesitated. His hand seemed to want to lock up. He swore he heard his father screaming at him.

In fact, he swore he heard a cacophony of voices screaming defiance and denial at him. 

Paolo shook his head, and dropped the ring in the man's hand.

As the man smiled and cradled the ring, Paolo felt a tiny twinge of… something… in the back of his mind. As for the voices… they had gone silent.

The man reached over and tapped a few keys. “There you go, young man. $100,000. Here's your paperwork.”

Paolo took the paperwork, stood, and shook hands. “Glad to be rid of it.”

The man held the ring up to the light. “Can't imagine why! It's quite the striking piece!”

“It holds… bad memories for me.” Paolo bowed, feeling wooden and strange. “Good day, sir.”

As he walked out, Paolo felt a strange hollowness in the back of his mind. The world seemed to change and fade, growing fuzzy and distorted.

Suddenly the ground erupted, a huge, clawed hand bursting up from beneath the street.

Paolo fell backwards, screaming in terror. But the people around him said nothing, not reacting. He saw one turn…

They had no face. None of them have faces!

The hand slammed down, pulling a monstrous being up from the earth - a round, greasy body, a face picked out in pizza toppings. The strips of green pepper opened, and a roar like the furnaces of hell itself burst out. 

Paolo realized that, despite being deafening and many octaves deeper, it was his father's voice.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, BOOOOOY?” It roared. 

Paolo scrambled backwards on his hands and feet. “I - I don't know what-’

A huge hand snatched him up, holding him to the huge face. Below, the faceless masses continued about their days. The monster smashed several of them, but there was no reaction.

“I TOLD YOOOOU! DON'T LOSE THE RINNNNG!”

Paolo squirmed. “I didn't lose it! I sold it! I just- just want a life to live!”

The creatures roared in rage. “DOOMED! THE WORRRRLD IS DOOOMED BECAUSE OF YOOOOOU! HE IS IN YOU NOW! HAVE TO STOP YOOOU!”

The beast opened its maw, and flames crackled in its mouth. Paolo writhed. “NO! NO, PLEASE! I'M SORRY!”

The creature dropped him into its mouth.

As he fell for what felt like an eternity, Paolo screamed. 

“I'M SORRYYYY…!”

~~~~

Paolo rocketed up from his reclined position, gasping. Frantically he patted over his body - no burns, no scrapes. He rubbed his face - it was covered in sweat and tears. His head was pounding in time with his heart. What was that? A nightmare? A memory? 

Both?

He stood, stumbling over to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror - he looked haggard, tired. Behind his eyes, it felt like dull needles were being stabbed into his head.

And yet… he found memories there, too.

A pizzeria, full of joy and laughter.

Mechanical figures, dancing and singing, as he watched from the shadows, proud that the mechanical aptitude he'd hated had been useful, after all.

A growing unease, an inability to let go of the memory of the ring…

His employees, finally abandoning him after all his abuse…

Paolo grabbed his head as the throbbing got worse. Too much at once. The dream seemed to have been a catalyst, though. He was catching bits and pieces of his time as Pizzahead.

The blood, the pain, the enjoyment he'd taken in it…

All with a smile. That same damn smile.

Paolo fought not to vomit.

He glanced over at the shower. Shower would do me good.

~~~~

Paolo wandered into Noisette's cafe. A few customers cautiously waved and smiled, and he waved back, though his smile was probably a little sickly.

The memories were still surfacing, and none of them were pleasant.

Noisette herself bounced over. “Hello, Paolo! How're you…” she paused, noticing his pallor. She sat down, concerned. “Actually, maybe I should take you to the doctor or somethin’. You OK, big guy?”

Paolo grimaced. “I had… a nightmare. Last night. I remembered… selling that ring. And then my father appeared as a monster, telling me I'd doomed us all… and he ate me, dropping me in a pit of fire.”

Noisette looked horrified. “That's terrible! Let me get you some coffee and something to eat!”

He reached out and grabbed her arm. “Nothing too sweet, please. I don't think my stomach could take it.”

She nodded, and jogged off. Shortly she arrived with the aforementioned coffee, and a pair of bagels. He sipped the coffee - it had cream, but little sugar. He nodded. “Perfect.” He held up the bagels - there were small dark spots. He looked more closely. “Raisins?”

Noisette nodded, looking down. “One of the only times Pizzahead was actually nice to me was one time he came into my place inn the Tower, asking for raisins. He seemed so happy…”

Paolo felt a twinge, and he remembered - he had loved raisins as a kid. He took a huge bite of a bagel, and immediately smiled. “Guess a bit of me was coming through there. Good call, Hazel.”

Noisette immediately perked up. “So, you're remembering more about yourself?”

He nodded. “Bits and fragments. Most of it is… nauseating.” He stared at the bagel. “It's, it's giving me an idea of what the Pizzamancer is like.”

“Oh?” Noisette leaned forward.

“I thought I had trouble feeling emotions, but…” he paused. “He's… he's a complete monster. The worst kind. He's a narcissist, a sociopath, a murderer more times than I want to think about.” His stomach roiled, and he took a shot of coffee. “Honestly, it really doesn't matter how it happens, but… we can't let him stay around. We can't let him live.”

Noisette made an “O” of surprise. “That bad?”

Paolo shuddered. “Hazel, whatever you thinking is the worst that can happen… he's capable of so much worse. I was thinking he brought out my dark side, and he did, but… I think I was holding him back.” He paused, practically inhaling the other bagel in his nervousness. “Please tell me the others have found a way to find this guy.”

Noisette twiddled her thumbs. “I don't think they're havin' much luck. Giuseppe and Anita's government and criminal connections, Vigi’s old bounty hunter buddies… even Noisey’s been talking to other media people.” She shook her head. “It's like findin’ a ghost.”

Paolo slapped his hands down on the table, angry. “We have to find him! I don't- AGH!” His head felt like it was being stabbed again. Noisette jumped up, running to his side, but he held up his hand. “We can't give him time! He'll… he'll…” Paolo sat back down.

Noisette sat back down. “But, what can we do that ain't being done? We-”

A huge shadow fell over the two of them, and Noisette gasped. Paolo looked up…

A giant stood in front of him. He was enormous, a good nine feet tall, made of purple stone. He was wearing patched pants, and oddly, a small flat hat. He was looking down at Paolo with a stern expression.

Noisette gasped. “Huh? John? Pillar John? What are you doing here?”

John bent slowly, looking Paolo in the eyes. He'd heard of Litha before, but he'd never met one. They were even more rare than his own kind - it was thought there were less than a thousand left in the world. He cringed back. “Can… can I help you, Mr… John?”

John stared into his eyes, saying nothing. It felt like the giant stone man was digging into the deepest parts of his soul. Finally, he nodded. “There's a lotta damage there, but yer you again. Looks like th’ bastard really truly ditched ya.” The Litha gently sat down next to the table, gesturing for them to sit down. “I'm here fer you, pizza man. Or rather, you and yer friends.”

“My… friends?” Paolo repeated. He was so off-balance all he could do was parrot.

John nodded. “We tol’ Peppino we'd be there when he needed us, an’ he needs us. But firs’, I gotta let ya in on a lil’ secret.” He leaned closer. “Sorry, but this is gonna hurt. A lot.”

John reached out and gently grasped Paolo's head.

Paolo felt something snap inside his head, and he stood, then fell to his knees, clutching his head. Tears boiled out of his eyes. The pain was indescribable.

Noisette crouched beside him. “Oh, no! Paolo? Paolo!” She turned to a bystander. “Someone call an ambulance, quick!”

His hand shot out and gripped her arm. “N-no! No! Wa… wait…”

The pain was lessening, and a memory surfaced….

~~~~

Pillar John stood next to him, grinning.

“Now watch this, buddy.” John gently grabbed Pizzahead's arm… there was a feeling of the world bending…

And then they were standing beside Gerome.

Pizzahead was impressed. “Well, well, how'd you do that?”

Pillar John laughed. “Ah, we can do stuff like that. I can move us here ‘cause I always know where Gerome is. I can move ‘im around, too!”

Pizzahead grinned inside. He already knew it, but he'd wanted to be sure the two Litha had that level of power before he continued. It had been so long since his ‘death,’ the Litha making up the tower had all gone moribund. They were slowly falling apart. But with a fresh Litha, split up amongst the different parts of the Tower… he could have his invincible, unfindable fortress again. “Well, that's good, old rock! I've got a good job for you, then…

~~~~

Suddenly his vision snapped back to a circle of concerned bystanders… and John, who looked more solemn than he'd ever been.

Paolo reached towards him. “John… I'm so sorry. Where is Gerome?”

John nodded. “Inside the Tower.”

Paolo grabbed Noisette's arm. “Noisette, call the others. I know how to get to the Tower.”

Noisette gaped for a moment, then nodded, and quickly dialed a number. The crowd around them backed up, murmuring.

John stared at him, saying nothing.

Paolo was shaking. “John. John. The Tower. It's made out of… out of Litha, isn't it? Thousands of Litha…!”

The giant nodded. “Yeah. I talked to ‘em while I was stuck there. That's why there's so few of us now. The Pizzamancer turned ‘em all into that thing. That's why it can do some o’ the things it can do.”

Paolo felt like vomiting again. “That's… that's sick.”

John nodded again. “Now ya know why we been keepin’ an eye on th’ Tower. An’ you.”

Noisette clicked off her phone. “All right, they're in their way.”

John stood up. “I'll wait for ya where the Tower used t’ be. Lemme know when you're all ready.”

As the Litha ambled off, Noisette grabbed Paolo's arm. “You really know how to get us there?”

Paolo nodded. “I do.” He clapped his hands together. “I just hope we can finish this when we get there.”

[keithydove]

i dont remember WHERE i heard this, but i remember mel saying that they identify as aroace because "i've been screwed over in past relationships (orange) so im never doing that again. therefore im aroace" and thats just not how that works AT ALL. im aroace and consider myself unattracted to anyone. period. so i feel like i can share my perspective on her take.

obviously its ok to not wanna be in relationships for a while or ever if you feel like you were hurt. thats not the issue here. my issue is that mel acts as if not wanting to be in a relationship means they're aroace. it doesnt. aro/ace people feel no attraction to a persons physical appearance/demeanor (demi-aroace ppl only feel that type of attraction after being with a person for a longer amount of time btw). i personally cannot look at someone and imagine myself in a relationship with them of any kind. it doesnt mean i dont want to do couple things like kissing etc. i just dont want to do that stuff with a specific someone. its how qpr work after all (ive never been in one tho so take that with a grain of salt). idk if mel feels attraction to anyone or she just phrased her statement weirdly, but imo you shouldn't identify with the aroace label just cuz you dont wanna be in a relationship. thats not what aroace means.

then again idk her situation or sexuality. it just really bothered me as an aroace person (take a shot each time i said aroace in this post lol) srry for the yap session but i felt like it was important to note. also i think mel only started identifying as aroace after watching hazbin hotel?? or maybe im mixing it up with when she changed pastel's sexuality to aroace after watching hh. maybe they thought pastel would appear more.. idk 'quirky'?? with the label?? idk im not gonna dig deep on that one. anyway i hope you're feeling well and remember to take care of yourself in this difficult time!!!! ^-^

I AGREE WITH THIS ACTUALLY

My least favorite thing is when ppl say “I’m aroace cuz I’ve been screwed over in past relationships” cuz it’s the equivalent of a girl saying “I’m lesbian now cuz all my relationships with men sucked”. She says she’s an aroace lesbian iirc but Khai told me that she literally flirts with men on vrchat 😐😐

Pastel being confirmed aroace was probably because Mel identified with the label (which feeds more into the fact that she is her self insert) yet would make ship art with her and other characters that was blatantly romantic. I mean yea, her characters, her rules, whatever — but if that was a lesbian with a man n vice versa ppl would probably care way more and it annoys me. I get aroace is “LITTLE TO NO attraction” but a lot of the time it’s just none but we can’t have nice things I suppose

AND TY VERYY MUCH 🙏🙏 I am taking care of myself and my mental health is improving :))

[princeandrogyne]

hey hello it’s your high-word-count friend here. really really appreciated your response, it has been recieved! i'm pretty terrible at responding to responses for some reason. I think I just think too much about words and thoughts and the pressure to decently communicate an appropriate reaction, it's easier to throw word vomit at the screen at a late night whim to an online stranger than to actually properly acknowledge a really thoughtful and well written and kind response to said word vomit. it was a really lovely response. i didn't know if it'd be worth it to be so weirdly raw as an anonymous presence in a tumblr inbox but I gotta say, it was nice to be seen. I think it was worth it. thank you.

I was gonna write a big longer thing but it might need more work-shopping so I perhaps will come back soon. tangentially related I wanted to indulge in some unstructured pondering about dog metaphors to say: that domesticated dog thing you said at some point on your blog....yeahh. it's very relatable... I once met a shaky little shitzu and I realized I was just like it. would never be equipped to live in the reality of the wild, yet still scared of the world in my enclosure. needing care, being far too attached to the people who feed me, yet always wanting to bite. being yelled at but not really learning much from it other than the fact I don't want to be yelled at again. I end up doing everything to make people happy (or at least not mad at me) I listen to instructions and jump through every hoop they put there just because what else do I have, really? I always want to bite but I never do, maybe I know that evolutionarily my teeth have dulled. I guess I wouldn't be such a terrible dog. not a great human though.

I used to have a dog. she'd always bark and snap if my parents or anyone got near me. I'm not big on touch, especially from my parents, so it was kind of nice to have a personal guard dog at times, looking out for me. I didn't think she really liked me. she'd snap if I got close to her sometimes, and often just straight up ignored me. so I never got why she was so territorial over me in those instances. but I appreciated it.

ok thanks for reading, I'll probably come visit more time to time, but absolutely no pressure to ever respond, or hell, even read these only somewhat sensical messages. against all my better judgement I do think you're a cool person and also yeah your blog sparks some kind of light in me that actually inspires me to speak whatever part of my mind that I usually try and suppress in order to fulfill my supposed function as a "well-adjusted member of society" so that's perhaps why I'm here, and maybe why I'll stick around? and if I ever overstep please take the executive order to like. tumblr kill me or something and delete such asks. that probably shouldn't happen since clearly I'm a weird anxious and antsy person who cares so much about boundaries as to write disclaimers on a fully anonymous message but uhh. what was I saying. this is probably a good time to cut it off holy shit I ramble like I have nowhere to be (which I really don't haha) may the universe send you good fortune and the energy to keep going! peace and love and thanks again!

Hello! I am naming you longnon, if you ever want to take a look at your asks it should be under that!

This response may be a bit shorter because I'm quite exhausted. I love responding to people. I love talking and communicating and learning and making connections. You are a gift to me. I hope you do visit me again, however often you want, with anything you'd like to say. I think it's funny that I demonstrate parts of people that they usually want to suppress. And a little sad, but I think it's accurate to the situation.

I think your dog loved you even though she didn't like you.

[headlesscribbler]

I finished For The Future and it's good! But ALL BETS ARE OFF I'M POSTING SPOILERS AND THOUGHTS. (Also its super long like has 20 different points)

Written plotpoint wise and then in general.

-The tone at first was insanely confusing with everyone dying and then then Hooty flying and Eda almost immediately getting over her missing limb (well ig the cliffhanger made it look more dramatic). Also haha hot Harpy Eda scene, fan artists are winners.

-The curse actually wasn't explored that much (or the Owl Beast being trapped which I'm really annoyed at) but it seems to act similarly.

-Luz totally saw King's slightly grown up form with the wings.

-It's depressing seeing literally everyone screwed up but that makes sense and I do like how everyone gets a spotlight on their issues.

-Ok Belos is SUPER cool this episode. Tbh I found him more weird/slightly funny looking last episode but I like how this 350 year old man's flesh is falling off the bones. Also that's definitely dead Caleb we saw this episode and probably last (very cool but the knife looked a little funky dangling there)

-The broken playground and swing, nice Episode 10 reference. Also the graffiti is always funny.

-Lol screw you Terra you got picked to be the Owl Beast bc you're old and cranky. I can't believe her not being in the trailer was for this.

-That Draining Spell is literally only a kill everyone spell, ok? I mean it would have been interesting seeing them try to adapt without any magic but sure (also ig there wouldn't be time)

-Boscha you still suck! Also I can't believe my brother guessed the Kikimora reveal, I was like red skin, short, that's too easy. But looking back, the voice, the glasses. Ok I see it.

-Yeah no redemption all the Grimwalkers/Caleb want to kill Belos. Also lol I joked that he would say shut up to them and I guessed it right.

-Also not really surprised his Grimwalker body didn't last, like you're running out of resources. Still not sure why it still ended up looking like you. Also I was spoiled on him climbing up the skull so I was jumpscared by that scene AND it being a spoiler!

-I liked the visuals of the giant book circling around the tiny planet. Also Collector I know you can rhyme better come on.

-I have no idea what's up with the Collector portraits (hey Hollow Mind parallels). I'll let others dissect it but I found the lore kind id underwhelming like last time but I'm a terrible theorist and time crunch so eh. Also repeat images?

-Literally the entire Hooty and Eda scene was recontextualized to be weirdly more chill and cheery. Like Hooty is alive, why and also why immediately joke about it being weird?I'm not sure how their hideout works but hey there's some peace? Also you're killing me Eda please be with Raine oh my god! Also Eda saying "What's the matter?" made me want to cry, she sounded like a mom comforting her kid! And she said it so kind and softly!

-Ok I was pissed at the Hunter possession bc I thought it was fake/looked dumb. This feels random and weird. Belos possessing a puppet, really? I swear it's like "Huh screw Eda I'm gonna use Raine". But they look better off than Hunter (also why the goop on the ears, like injuiry from a piercing?) Ok but they(?) have cool expressions and their normal voice and mostly look the same and I doubt they'll die (otherwise it's that Diversity Loss meme. I'll pretend they'll die so I don't feel as bad/disappointed if it happens). I don't know why we're doing this again, pattern breaking says they must go but don't they have too much potential?

-Ok this possession concept feels kinda written badly? It's only introduced last episode and you're gonna convince me Belos can actually possess the Collector? Please! Also in general I don't like possessions as they take away the person's choice and creates limited character development for them.

-I've got beef with the Collector (who I now realize is probably different from the Owl Beast trapper but still), I don't like how it's not acknowledged that he was fine with killing everyone. King is nothing like that and I don't like how this Collector feels different from the more scary and dangerous shadow Collector we've seen the most from. It doesn't make sense they're supposed to be the same! Also they'll probably depower him simce he's too powerful (I wonder if doing this will make Collectors extinct.)

-Someone else probably articulated it better but I like the spotlight on Willow, how holding in her emotions to be strong for everyone ends up making her spiral out of control and how Gus and Hunter tell her she can let it out. It's really sad seeing her miss her dads but I'm glad it's acknowledged.

-Yay Camilla and Luz time! Yeah, it's sad how they both have regrets but I'm glad they're reconciling and Camilla is righting her wrongs. Also Luz's wish makes so much sense and I love the anime like tears. (Also yeah her saying she doesn't know what she wants definitely fits Amity given a predetermined path)

-For the teleportation powers Hunter gets, ehh but I do like the action is brings. Also YEAH new plant attacks Willow!

-Also literally calling out every single guess and putting it all in one. I like the Chinese dragon looking one. The designs all kinda look like OCs but it fits and it'll probably grow on me. Also 80% snake for the win!

Bruh the animation looks so good! Honestly mostly the effects but also the scattered fight scenes as well! I like how it goes from whimsy to body horror (would've liked more but eh Belos takes an L)

Tbh the pacing was kinda off since there was the school, King and Eda, and Raine being posessed. It felt weird because it didn't even really feel right for a cliffhanger. Hey who's fault is it (Disney)

Ok compared to Thanks to Them (which I really didn't like and don't want to rewatch due to the Belos possession) this is leagues better. No doubt because questions are answered, things are different and we get to see them again! Effects/fights/body horror/character design is good, I really like the character development and them coping with this nightmare, and others than the Raine thing/unavoidable pacing issues (this feels like similar issues to the first episode) it's super good!

[cummin-n-cryin]

Hi!

Can I request Crowley hcs for getting into a relationship with yuu's mom who is a new teacher at NRC to stay close to yuu? How he would treat yuu and how he would treat yuu's mom please<33

~Thank you for your request!

Father Crow

Dire Crowley + your mom???

Tw: none here! we do bully Crowley a lil bit here lol

Wordcount: 521

Side Note: I'm gonna be honest was a bit surprised by this ask lmao but at least everyone will now know I write for the teachers! This is a bit more on the goofy side I hope this was ok!

~Dire Crowley~

When you're mom got into NRC as a new teacher, the last thing you would have expected was that the headmaster of that very same school, Dire Crowley, would end up as your new dad.

As cursed as that last sentence was, he surprisingly wasn't that bad of a father?

Crowley was still his weirdly eccentric self of course, but he seemed to fret over small things when it came to you. If he caught you with your tie crooked he would stop you to fix it and any other small innocuous problems he found with your clothes.

Look at him being so kind to fix your clothes for you! /sarcasm.

If you ask him why he tries to fix your clothes he would tell you, "Appearance is important!" Never really explaining further. He does this a lot, surprisingly. You would ask him a question and he would give a very bare bones answer never really explaining further or giving a deeper meaning to anything. Well, Crowley has always been like that you suppose.

Crowley would also worry about what you were eating at the school and how you were being treated by the other students. Even though it's his school. Shouldn't he already know what food he's giving to the students? It is nice he seems to be looking out for your wellbeing however.

While he would always seemingly worry over you, he was never too overbearing about it. He was quite busy running the school after all.

When it comes to the way he treats your mother, he was nothing short of an absolute gentleman. Always polite and respectful, but there were times where he would try to show off to your mother and in the end, would only make a fool of himself. Sometimes he would go to compliment your mom only to end up complimenting himself. I honestly have no idea how he does it..

Similar to how he treats you, he would also fret over your mother. At times, he would make sure she wasn't overworking herself. He also made sure the students weren't bothering her too much.

Unlike how he treats you however, he would invite your mom to fancy vacations with him while leaving you at the school because, "School is important! I'm sure your friends will keep you company while we're gone. Farewell!" Seriously how did your mom fall in love with him?

His soft side shows up more whenever you or your mom are upset. He offers you a comforting hug or listens intently as you tell him what made you so upset. He'll try to fix it, like he genuinely tries to fix it. He definitely won't tell you he'll fix it just for you to end up finding him snoring away on that big office chair of his.

Overall he does care for the both of you in his own weird way and while he does worry too much at times he is trying his best.

He's probably one of those parents that would make you get them the remote even though it's like a foot away from them smh…

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

[myrfing]

finale arc I'm assuming spoilers for zone 6 and the preceding duties from between zone 5. MAJOR msq spoilers

z1 / z2 / z3 / z4 / z5

- IM HER LITTLE MOGCHAMP

- also uh. everything before that from the last post to now. I think I pulled too fast and urianger skipped his talk text for moen in the aitiascope but that dungeon....papalymo's appearance made wrecked me in an instant

- i am a little sad that livia and ilberd...I just think they've always been shafted by the narrative a bit. i dunno what to think here to be honest. The Guy was funny as hell though they really did give him that second wind they were considering

- and of course. venat.........................screaming crying my old friend

- BRO DON'T CRY IM GONNA FUCKING CRYY

- I know I should not think this way because it is an insane person way of thinking but I'm a little disappointed I did not get my final moments with hydaelyn alone. WHATEVER it's fine again my "loves the scions but is not attached to the scions" disease rears its head

- aww tataru's shop....ALSO BTW TATARU DESUMMON YOUR CARBUNCLE THAT THING HAS BEEN ACROSS THE REALM

- me having mildly indepth thoughts about emmanellain & him being this expac's little side jester clown.

- biggs wedge the ironworks have done EVERYTHING for me already

- ugh my weakness. tail ribbon. the set is beautiful but a little too frou frou for gourd NONETHELESS I will wear it to the end because when else do I wear AFs. also cute ass pld cape but the armor is a little too weirdly shaped thanks to the stupid fucking au ra proportions

- actually (coughing wheezing) these are a little much

- YSHTOLA TAKE ME WITH YOUUU you're the first person i met in the scions so please ferry me to more worlds. also gravely sorry to a certain urianger liker

- DOES AUTOADVANCE KILL PICK OPTIONS NOOO I DIDN TGET TO ANSWER

- i feel like that sad fucked up spongebob. Okay krile i wont

- graha waking up noises Yea Ok Yeagh OKa

- btw is gourd finally getting to retire from the scions SORRY TO SAY THIS IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR HEARTFELT SPEECH BUT I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT GOOD GOD IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

- alpha and omega....I WILL TELL YOU IF I SEE YOUR STAR and i am absolutely cheered up

- bro we did absolutely vilify and suppress the tribes this was naht earned. but it's nice to see their faiths be protectors and shit for once instead of Monster To Kill

- im fucjing laughiinggg at alphinaud's order to launch. also seeing the ship take off was cool. primal fuel gfuel

- By The Fury

- Uh Oh THancr

- WAIT. DRAGON. OMEGA WERE YOU HERE? THE PATTERSN ON THE FLOOR ALSO?

- this place's ambiance is the embodiment of "looking up at the stars"

- ok now that this is definitely the place IM SO FUCKING CRAYXSYSDABFBAYUFAIFHSAGSIGIUAGISAHGUIAGEGURIOGWG FUCKKK

- oh these dragons...somewhere your kind still yet live my bone husk ghost shell friends

- um. boss you killed a child

- lots of wol ):| face here

- estinien literally exists to give dragons somewhat crude pep talks now

- oh my god is the music being added to with each sacrifice or am i crazy

- i cannot fucking believe they are letting me see pieces of the dead worlds meteion spoke of like I cannot express how absolutely stunning and enthralling this is I did not expect that

- with that in mind I am wicked for using this mount here. sorry about falling in love with the megaweapon that obliterated your world

- also the nihilistic cum dudes are cute.

- urianger you dont mean to tell us you're the most suicidal of us in the group right now and thus. okay

- the heat death of the universe is literally okay my guys just make a sandwich. also i feel like them boiling down yshtola to a seeker of knowledge while not mentioning nor giving her an opportunity to speak aloud how she does everything she does out of love is kind of a shame

- also. this is the only place where gourd looks good in cutscenes LMFAOFOAA. he is looking cute in the dead world!

- OMEGA'S HOME

- YOU'RE TELLING ME I CANT FUCK OMEGA?

- i cant believe it. the sidequest where you try to matchmake 2 omicrons and the explode. i had to delete the pic because of the stupid 10 img limit

- im not expressing this properly but I could pretty much die from the adoration. now we kind of have a voice for omega?

- UGHHH HOW CAN THEY DO THE SAME EXACT SHIT OF "THIS ROBOT IS STARTING TO UNDERSTAND BEAUTY AND LIFE" AND IT STILL GETS ME THE SAME WAY. also the graha parallel between the subject of the tree and him I could fucking keel over

- NOO THE GRAHA TOWER BACK SHOT

- graha. anything for you

- ohhh godd Since i woke the tears wont stop fallign

- graha I love you omega I love you.

- the whole fucking thing of each one of them giving their answers to their deepest despairs with love and hope w/e I get it I'm a cornball and I will forever be one

- "the last one to remain" FUCKKKK it hits so hard for gourd lore and.

- you stupid kids stop worrying about ME he'll be fine you're the ones dissipating into aether

- hades not gonna lie im zoning out you're kind of ruining the moment for my ass

- not that i even hate him & his arc has been very good in ew it's just. dude. sorry

- the flowers ruled however i'm good now. hey guys

- nvm. no they aint get out of here

- OH NOW YOU'RE TALKING TO ME ABOUT ALL THE PLACES I WANT TO GO THAT I'VE LOOKED AT MYSELF AND MARKED OVER ON THE MF MAP YEAH I GET IT GET OUT OF HERE DUDE YOU BLEW UP LIKE HALF THE SHARDS WITH EVEN MORE SHIT I'LL GET YOU

- hold up hythlodaeus im busy being stuck up you cannot drop that l pray we meet again in another life shit on me and make me feel like 8 emotions at once

- also I neglected to say this because I was busy rp walking but the walk sequence eviscerated everything that I am

- UGH GOD NOW IT'S GONNA BE ALL LIKE "omg im travelling just like e-s wanted me to" AUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGH I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE HIM

- im glad they said "the future you seek is not the past we loved. That is why we fought. And why I lost" though I dont know that gives me closure about many of the thoughts I had about the ascians in general

- my god. after 5 or some nebulous amount of days I'm here

- im sorry alphinaud i will continue to be judgmental until I die but nor do I think it is exclusive to understanding or connecting to these stories

- YAAAY YSHTOLA VALIDATING ANOTHER OLD THING I KEPT SCREAMING ABOUT WITH HER TALK TEXT

- this dungeon is the coolest fucking thing on earth

- THE NECROSIS DEBUFF IS THE COOLEST SHIT EVER? I KNOW IT'S JUST A DOOM BUT OK HEARTBEATS EXCITE ME

- bro america

- im having my are you fucking kidding me moment in the game where im just astounded laughing

- ok the paradise one is. FOR THEEEEEE RECORD THE WHOLE DUNGEON IS VERY COOL AND ME SAYING THIS DOESNT MEAN A THING ABOUT HOW COOL I THINK IT WAS but i wonder if that's implying...that...the calamities were good for hydaelyn/etheirys because they essentially reset progress lmfao.

- god after I was like I will NEVERRR let graha tank for me because he's my senior cat bones.

- but I love the wol so much. it's stupid

- she hit gourd with her huge balls and now is threatening to give him erectile dysfunction so much so wrong

- oh right zenos LOOOLLL what you got for me dude <- forgot even though I was like that slow clank clank up the steps is totally zenos

- THIS IS SO FUNNYYYYY OKAY....

- oh my god I did NOT expect to 1st pull that but we had other ressers. the whole difference. that is the first time in a long time that i've straight up lost my gcd roll for a protracted time trying to not die in a normal trial

- im gonna cry man the wol is such a warm person.

- "you only need wish to see them again" sort of stuff going in for the 278328392th kill I see

- also I just want to say that like the entire. time. gourd's philosophy had a bit like "if I die someone stronger will grow in my place" and that's FLAWED of course but the whole idea of the. Everything i. <-speachless

- tabbing out at zenos LMFAOAOOAOA

- clever of them to use gamer zenos to pose the 4th wall dancing question

- bro I always wanted to kill you you did not need to spend all that time moping I would have given you exactly what you wanted for my sake

- it is SOOOO funny picking the angry option because gourd would not care about his questions. good god anger gourd

- ok I was about to roll my eyes because the fight was boring and slow on sch and I was like omfg do we have to chew through 5+ lives of this but the dropping the weapons and just beating each other to death is absolutely one of the best things to have ever come out of this whole narrative thread. also gourd you can heal yourself wtf

- gourd looks like the knife cat when he's sheepish. hi scions love you a lot please don't look at me

- i like to think the people back on hydaelyn/etheriys (IM STILL GOING TO CALL IT HYDAELYN WTF) were just bbqing waiting for everyone's return

- im going to miss you so much hydaelyn wtf. i'm forever hers

- YES GOURD SCIONLESS SORRY THIS SOUNDS HEARTLESS AFTER ALL THAT BUT FINALLY

- ephemie's continuing her travels ougfhhh!! and the roe sibs are going home for a bit...AUGHH F'LHAMINN I WILL. i miss minfilia i really wish we got to be better friends with her and that she could have been there at the end

- ALIANNE AND ISILDAURE I CANT EVEN SAY HOW GLAD I AM THEY MADE IT TO THE END THEYRE THE OG GRANPDA AND GRANDAUGHTER DUO and they're going to the hot springs with homei this rules

- riol come adventure with me a while he ha. and v'mah where is that hyur boy of yours. also im kind of disappointed for real arenvald isnt here i know role quests but that doesnt mean he couldnt have. w/e he's my favorite scion

- AENOR LMFAOOOOOOOOO NOT TO BE VULGAR BUT THAT'S WHAT [redacted]

- hoary and coultenet...will you both b off to corvos. take me with you

- ohhhhh <- emotional

- OK SO THATS WHERE THE BALDESION THING WAS GOING GL GRAHA KRILE! i wish to join you for that, too

- graha I will ALWAYS ALWAYS want you with me

- obviously i dont get to decide this but the twins do not need to feel guilt over what happened. and i mean it is natural to but the whole shit is like. man

- went into the solar for the last time....argh okay. im already missing it

- YES YES YES YES YES ARGOS AND VENAT MINION ALL I WANTED

- ELDIIB

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!