#you would think that im handing folks the control scheme needed to bring about the end of the earth sometimes

[wizard-mp4]

[sphor-art]

NINJAGO CURSED AU

oof here it is finally: a little background on my cursed au

its pretty long so im going to put it under a cut

Once upon a fucking time, a few months ago, my brain shat out this idea that basically went “what would happen if ninjago actually had real world physics”. A few minutes of thinking resulted in the answer “not good, probably death”. So knowing that, here’s an entire au based off of pain and suffering :)

Presenting: the NINJAGO CURSED AU

(disclaimer: some things in this au might change cause of shenanigans, shitposting and you guys sending in ideas. So this is just a kind of general outline)

>> the “story” starts with the sad loner with an undefined name (the cursed variant of the FSM). he lived in Ninjago (the country), with a oligarchy about as fair as the american voting system. The gov consisted of the ancestors of the elemental masters we all don't really know and kind of love. The voting system was kinda messed up cause not many people really wanted to go against someone that could obliterate you and your family in a split second. So yeah, the gov stayed with the original ems ruling over Ninjago, doing a.. mediocre job. Like most oligarchies, the people weren't very happy about the way things were going-- the “FSM” included. (lets just call him something easy like uh.. Jim.) Jim was special though-- he was super salty. Y’see Jim used to be part of the gov but was being an ass to the other ems, so they just booted him out of power and hoped he didn’t come back. Jim however, comes back anyways. Because Jim doesn't care about what the ems think is or is not possible.

Before that tho, old man Jimmy here needs to figure out a Scheme™ to get back at the other ems. And what idea he formulates was probably one of the worst ideas in Ninjago history (he doesn't know that yet but i don’t think he cares either). So what he plans: 1. Find a djinn; 2. Curse the other elemental masters because curses sound cool and stuff; 3. Profit? He didn’t really think it through.

So you have this old man with a terrible plan, possessing the aid of a being of really  powerful being, barging into the congress and rubbing his little lamp, screaming his little curses. A wonderful sight to behold, honestly. As we all can tell, the first step of this little plan is already.. slightly problematic. Take a wild guess what the heck happened after jimmy here wished for all the other EMs to be cursed. well. a lot of things happened. mostly bad.

First things first: jim didn’t specify exactly what kind of curse that these ems would get. So this djinn mclittle fuck just made being an elemental master a curse (so the ems that had the power now, and those in the future would all be cursed). Which btw kind of included himself. whoops? Secondly: you just destroyed the entire governing system you little shit. Either you have to step up, find someone to step up into a dictatorship rule, or just have Ninjago fall into anarchy. Of course you would deem yourself a dictator what kind of question is that?

>> timeskip, the original EMs are fucking DEAD. The curse is transferred to either the closest blood relative or a random unfortunate person. Mr jim here is still a little bitch, but somehow got laid and now has two kids who he passed his curse onto. You probably guessed it: its wu and garmadon. This old shit’s two less shitty sons.

Sometime after fuckhands mcjim decided came to power, and present day jim; he realized his mistake of full out cursing the ems cause now you have a handful of people causing natural disasters and shit. It's bad for reputation and economy. So jim goes out and hires a bunch of people (and snakes) to go find cursed people and bring them to him. Meanwhile, he shits out some propaganda targeting against the cursed folk to make them easier to find. Now here comes the question “what the fuck do you do with these captured ems?” good question because jim didn’t really know at the time. So he went for the best option he could think of: murder. Ok well.. Not murder murder, more of-- destroying the physical form of a person and containing their powers in this cool Crystal he found. This went well until he came to the realization that he could always save a few special ems and exploit their powers individually.  He set up a testing facility, working on not-so-ethical experiments on certain ems. I could get into the specifics on this stuff in another post or else this post gonna get even longer than it already gonna be.

So, now onto the garmabros. In this au, wu is way less of a bitch than in canon. Thankfully. While garmadon still kept the same world views as jim, allowing him to co-rule ninjago, wu didn’t agree with most of the things that his bro and dad thought were fine. Jim was a shitty dad so he kicked wu out (wow sounds familiar from stuff above huh? Jim don’t you ever learn from stuff that happened in the past?). Wu is pretty salty from that so he goes into seclusion and builds a temple for himself so he could learn how to control his curse of creation. He stays in there, doing meditations and writing fanfiction or something for a few years until one day, while going shopping for stuff, a huge storm hits. Seems dramatic right? Big plot is gonna happen thats why. u would think it was some sort of Big Evil but in reality its a random fucking fart gremlin getting beat up in an alleyway and forming a tornado. Oh wait thats morro. So wu was like “holy shit kid what the fuck” and took him in as a pupil, lowkey adopted him, and taught him how to control his curse. After some time with morro, wu remembered that there are still other ems out there that need help, and became an official Cryptid Hunter. (cryptids since the ems were so excluded from society with huge governmental manipulation that they basically existed as faceless creatures that most people hated.) 

after that, wu just went around tracking down other ems and tried to convince them to join him so they dont fucking die

thats basically it tbh, if you have questions about any of the ems just send in an ask