#you want to carve funny little shapes? ok go outside where it's cold and miserable and overstimulating and you can't listen to music
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atalantasfatgock · 5 days ago
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So I read hdg
#so you'll not see these tags unless someone goes for a screenshot#but#my whole life has been a very slow uphill crawl against my own lack of autonomy#first it started with gullibility#being taught as an autistic kid that lying is bad and that bad people do it#meant that I learned to take everything my parents and teachers and higher peers said at total face value#couple this with a centre-right catholic upbringing#and you get a person who went down the right-wing pipeline not of his own volition#and left it as she just about began nurturing actual critical thinking skills#“haha you only started developing critical thinking past age 15” YES#sorry that other people get there faster#I didn't.#next it was figuring out I have undiagnosed inattentive ADHD#as someone else on here put it: it's like some shit the greek gods would sentence you to for eating your kids#I have a legitimately disabling inability to focus and Do The Stuff I Want To Do#most of my day-to-day life is spent drifting from one thing someone wants to the next#because doing what *I* want is always in some way Wrong#you want to carve funny little shapes? ok go outside where it's cold and miserable and overstimulating and you can't listen to music#want to do anything in the peace and respite of your room? not for 2 hours longer than your work shift you can't#coupled with a FUCKING GOD DAMN I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I WANTED TO WRITE#THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME I SWEAR TO GOD#ONE MOTHERFUCKING WORD SHOVES AHEAD OF THE LINE AND IT'S ALL TO POT#HOW THE HOT FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT A DISABILITY THAT ACTIVELY STOPS ME FROM FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT AT LENGTH OR IN DETAIL#so this was meant to be about human domestication guide#and it still is#I read it#it made me feel like I was reliving the most abusive parts of my close family relationship in real time#I mean I also disagree with it on a philosophical and political level#but first and foremost my dislike comes from it glorifying the exact sort of controlling behaviour that I so badly want to escape#and I see the appeal
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hufflepirate · 7 years ago
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Voltron Whump Week Day 2
Hypothermia 
(Haha, whoops!  Came out more fluffy and less whumpy than intended, but... there’s still hypothermia? I’m just too tired and feeling too fluffy to really dig into it.  Sorry.  Have some light misery and heavy snow.)
Hunk forced his way through the deep snow, carving a path for the rest of the team behind him.  Beside him, Allura was working just as hard to clear a space, but she wasn’t just pushing through the snow, she was also pushing hard to keep her shapeshifting active.  She’d pushed herself wider this time, instead of taller, so that she could leave a bigger path, but Hunk could tell it was tiring her out, too.
Everything hurt.  His muscles were sore, his whole body was aching from the cold, and even inside his helmet, the air was so cold it stung when he breathed in and out.  Their armor had helped for a while, but the snow was too thick and the wind too cold, and one by one their armor’s heating systems had given out.
He could hear Pidge’s teeth chattering right behind them, but she was far from his only worry.  Lance and Keith were too skinny, too, and they had a long way to go before they could get back to the lions.
The wind picked up again and he gritted his teeth, turning his head to look behind him.  Pidge and Keith looked miserable, but were keeping up well.  Lance was lagging behind.
“Stay close to me!” Hunk shouted at him, “I can try to block the wind.”
Lance nodded, hurrying to catch up, but then seemed to lose his balance, reeling into the side of the trench he was walking through.  Keith reached out and caught him.   “He’s breathing kind of funny!” he shouted over the wind, “I think he’s starting to go into hypothermia!”
Hunk and Allura looked at each other and then took a step back, pulling into a huddle around Keith and Lance.  Pidge was already by Lance’s side, supporting him.
“What do you want to do, Keith?” Hunk asked, letting their new leader take charge.
“We could try going back,” Allura said, charging in instead, “But I’m not sure we’d make it any faster, and with the wind blowing again the storm’s probably going to start soon, and we might have to fight just as hard to get through the snow in the other direction.  At least if we keep going, we know we’ll be welcome at the end.  The lions will be ready for us, and we don’t want to abuse the hospitality of our new allies too quickly.”
Keith looked tired, but Hunk couldn’t tell if it was normal tired or hypothermic tired.  He shifted to block the wind anyway, hating the way it tore through the damp parts of his underarmor, hating the way it almost pushed him over into his friends, and hating the way both made him tense up subconsciously, tiring his muscles out even further.
“We keep going,” Keith said, “We don’t really have a choice.  We’re closer to the lions anyway.”
Hunk nodded, bracing himself for another fight against the weather.  “Ok.  Just keep close to me and Allura.  It’s better if we can keep you out of the wind.”
When they started again, Hunk could practically feel the others behind him, they were so close.  Pidge’s teeth were still chattering, and while Lance’s footsteps were steady with Keith’s arm supporting him, they also sounded a little clumsy, sometimes scraping into the snow.  He kept whispering soft sorries any time he stepped on Keith’s foot, and Keith kept reassuring him that it was alright, but it wasn’t.  They had to get him out of the cold.
Suddenly, Pidge giggled behind him.
“What?” Keith snapped.
“Sorry, I just f-figured out what we’re like.  We’re like the F-Fellowship trying t-to get over the Redhorn P-Pass.  The three of us are the h-hobbits.”
Hunk snorted.  “So I guess I’m Boromir?  I’d rather not get shot, if it’s all the same.”
“Allura c-can be Boromir and you c-can be Aragorn.”
“Nah, she’s the one who’s real royalty.”
“Who are these hobbits you speak of?” Allura asked.
Pidge giggled again.  “We’ll t-tell you when we g-get back to the l-lions.”
Hunk just hoped that was true.  He and Allura were shivering now, too, in spite of the hard work of pushing through the snow, and Pidge was clearly getting worse, too.  Keith seemed to be in better shape than Pidge or Lance, but the more weight Lance leaned on him, the more he let out little grunts of effort as he kept them moving.
It felt like an eternity before they made it back to the lions.  Allura’s shapeshifting gave out a few dozen yards early, and Hunk had to shove through by himself, bashing himself up against a wall of snow to clear it for the rest of the team even though every push forward hurt more than before.
Blue’s mouth opened in front of them before any of them could call out to the lions.  “She wants all of us to get in,” Allura announced, “Hurry!  Lance needs the heaters!”
Hunk nodded, Keith grunted, and if Pidge said yes, Hunk didn’t catch it.  But that didn’t matter.  They were so close.
As he climbed the ramp into the lion, Hunk realized his legs were shaking from exertion.  Keith was carrying Lance completely, now, and Pidge was just as weak as he was, but Allura reached over to help, leaning into Hunk herself a little and letting him lean back.
“Put Lance in the seat,” Allura said, “She says she can focus the heat on his core better that way.”
Keith shook his head, “We’ve gotta get his armor off, first.  At least the wet parts.  Is there a blanket anywhere?”
“She says there’s one in a drawer in the back, I’ll go get it.”
Hunk stepped up to help Keith with Lance.  “Come on, buddy,” he said, “Stay with us.”  Lance’s eyes were flickering open and shut, and his face was cold once they got his helmet off and Hunk could feel his forehead.
“Why are you taking my clothes off?” Lance asked, “Can Pidge see?  Don’t let Pidge see?  Why can’t I wear my armor?”
“It’s too wet,” Keith explained, “We have to get you warmed up, and it’ll keep you cold.
“Oh,” Lance said, flopping over on Keith as soon as the red paladin had gotten his armor off him.  “You’re warm.”
“Not as warm as your chair’s gonna be,” Keith said back, clearly uncomfortable.
Hunk reached over to help steady Lance, and he flopped over toward him, instead.  “You’re warm, too.”
“You’re gonna be so warm when Blue’s done with you,” he said reassuringly, “She still loves you, you know.”
Allura appeared with the blanket just as they were ready to strip Lance out of the underlayer of his armor.  He blushed, and fought their hands off until she and Pidge both agreed to turn their backs, but then he let Hunk and Keith help him out of his clothes and into the blanket.
As soon as Lance was settled into the seat that used to be his, the lion purred so fiercely that the rest of them felt it too, not just her own paladins.  It almost made up for the fact that once he was curled up in the seat, he stopped bothering to keep his eyes open.
Sinking onto the floor of the Blue Lion felt as good as anything Hunk could remember.  It was a relief to be off his feet and an even bigger relief not to be outside, trying to shield his friends from the weather.  Now, all they had to worry about was Lance.
Keith came over and sat next to Hunk, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “You did a good job out there.  We’d never have made it without you.”
Hunk ducked his head down, looking away.  “You guys needed it.”
“Yeah, but you still did it.  You should be proud of that.”
Maybe Keith was right, but even if he was, Hunk didn’t know how to say so.  “Thanks, Keith,” he answered, instead.
Hunk could tell Keith was still on edge from Lance’s collapse.  He looked around the cockpit, taking all of them in, then said “Pidge, come over here.  You’re shivering too hard, too.  You need extra body heat.”
Hunk wasn’t sure which was more surprising, the fact that Keith had said it, or the fact that Pidge actually followed directions, coming to sit between him and Keith and snuggle with them both.  Keith stripped out of the top parts of his armor, leaving the black bodysuit, and the rest of them followed his lead, before snuggling closer together again.
Allura sat across from them, leaning up against the side of the pilot’s chair where she could keep an eye on Lance.  For a while, they just watched, periodically asking Lance to open his eyes, just to prove he still could.
Finally, Lance was stable enough to tell them off without sounding confused, and they could let him sleep.  They just couldn’t bring themselves to leave him, either.
“So,” Allura said, after they’d been sitting in silence for a while “While we’re stuck here, tell me about those hobbits you mentioned.”
Hunk opened his mouth to explain, but before he could get a word out, the most surprising thing of all happened.
“It all started,” Keith said, “When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would soon be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday . . .”
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