#you know it's bomb when the haters pull out “they see each other as brothers”

[nartml]

was it casual when i had a panic attack at the thought of you dying was it casual when you risked your entire carrier just to feed me lunch was it casual when you were willing to die protecting me even though you wouldn't accomplish any of the goals you devoted yourself to was it casual when i spent so many nights rolling around in deep thought about whether you think of me like i do about you was it casual when i wished for you upon a shooting star was it casual when i refused to let you continue your way down a path of self-destructive loneliness even though you wanted me to was it casual when you needed to kill me and only me to grow stronger and be entirely untethered from your past but you just couldn't was it casual when i preferred to bear your pain and hatred and die fighting you as opposed to giving up on you was it casual when i could trade blows with you (read your heart) even though your supposed wife couldn't was it casual when i was your one and only was it casual when the hands that we blew off of each other bore the evidence of our cosmic connection was it casual when you cried your first tears of relief and happiness after you lost to me was it casual when you kept in touch with me but not with your wife was it casual when we fought and laughed and became inseparable was it casual when i can't exist without you was it casual when i put all my goals on hold because how could i focus on them when i can't even save you was it casual when you were my main motivation for training to become infinitely stronger was it casual when i'd remain a fool my entire life if being smart meant that i had to give up on you was it casual when you know my heart i yours was it casual when

[fyeahfantasticfour]

Can you tell me the backstory behind Nathaniel Richards(Reed's father) and if possible maybe Franklin Storm(Sue and Johnny's father) as well?

Sure! First Franklin Storm because he appears in significantly fewer comics and is less complicated than the time-traveling lothario who is Nathaniel Richards.

Franklin was a famous neurosurgeon whose life fell apart after his wife died in a tragic car accident. He performed the surgery on her and failed to save her life, and of course blamed himself for all of it. (I suspect the sliding timescale would erase the surgery part at the very least – there’s no way that anyone nowadays would allow a man to operate on his own wife, especially if he’d just survived a terrible car accident.)

After his wife died, he began to drink heavily and gambled away his family’s entire fortune, leaving Johnny and Sue penniless, and, when a loan shark showed up to collect on one of his debts and pulled a gun, Franklin attacked him. The gun went off while they were struggling over it, the man died, and Franklin was sent to prison for murder, partially because he was too despondent to try to defend himself. 

Sue told Johnny their father died, and they were sent to live with their Aunt Marygay Jewel Dinkins. Sue kept lying to Johnny for YEARS about their father’s death, which is, uh, pretty messed up. There was never any real emotional fallout between Johnny and Sue over the revelation that she’d been lying to him for so long, even though there should have been.

Cut for length.

This is the backstory we get in Fantastic Four v1 #32:

How old Johnny and Sue were when their mother died and father went to jail has varied significantly over time as canon has shifted, but Johnny was likely extremely young at the time.

But, honestly, Franklin Storm checked out of being an actual father to Sue and Johnny long before he was stuck in a jail cell – even before his wife died. In Fantastic Four v1 #528, Reed speculates that Sue’s invisibility may have been a byproduct of feeling neglected by her bickering, indifferent parents:

He was never a good father.

In Fantastic Four v1 #31, Sue sees a newspaper headline saying her father escaped from jail – apparently, however, no one in the press had connected the dots between her and Johnny and their father:

Sue doesn’t mention any of this to Johnny because he still thinks his father is dead.

We’re never given an explanation for why he escaped, but when Sue’s badly injured, he shows up at the hospital and operates on her, thus saving her life and sort of, supposedly, redeeming himself for failing to save his wife. This, by the way, is how Johnny finds out his father is still alive.

Franklin operates on Sue, saves her life, and immediately gets carted back off to prison, where he’s attacked and replaced by the Super Skrull, who then escapes and goes around masquerading as him, dressed as a guy called the Invincible Man. The FF, of course, are sent to take him down, but Johnny and Sue don’t know what to do because they don’t want to hurt their father:

Reed figures out he’s an impostor, so he contacts the Skrulls and arranges a prisoner exchange – the Super Skrull for Franklin. When Franklin is teleported home in the Super Skrull’s place, however, he warns them all to stand back, rolls over, and thus shields them all from the bomb that’d been strapped to his chest. Somehow, he lives long enough to give a dying speech to his children about how he always loved them and how he hopes this all redeems him for having been a terrible father:

So, yeah, that’s the story of how Johnny and Sue had to watch their father die.

I also wonder how much of Johnny’s personality was influenced by his dad – when he’s hurting, he drinks and parties, the sacrifice play is his go-to…and, look, I’m not convinced that there isn’t a lengthy history of chronic depression in Johnny’s family that Johnny inherited.

On to Nathaniel!

Nathaniel Richards began working, in the 1950s, as a member of the Brotherhood of the Shield alongside Howard Stark. They were told that they had to abandon their families and both agreed. Howard had no qualms whatsoever, even arranging to have his death faked, but Nathaniel swore he’d come back to his son someday. Given the fact that Howard says “them,” I’m assuming Nathaniel’s wife, Evelyn, was still alive, meaning Reed had to have been younger than seven at the time, since that’s how old he was when she died. This means also that Nathaniel was likely gone a lot during Reed’s childhood.

This is from S.H.I.E.L.D. v1 #5:

….I’m beginning to wonder if Nathaniel was even around when Evelyn died. Nathaniel’s basically the guy who chose science and the greater good over family – i.e., everything Reed haters accuse Reed of being when he isn’t, and that’s in direct reaction to his father. Reed tries so hard to be a good, present father because his father wasn’t.

We know that when Nathaniel visited Reed in college a few years later, Nathaniel acted as though he hadn’t seen Reed since Reed was a child – probably since he began working for the Brotherhood. This is from Hickman’s run – Fantastic Four v1 #581:

We find out in Fantastic Four v1 #271 that Nathaniel disappeared for good about three years before the spaceflight crash and left Reed two billion dollars, which Reed used up to fund his rocket. Reed hadn’t seen him at all since then.

He clearly knew he was going to be gone for a while.

Reed and the FF find Nathaniel’s time platform in his lab at the Richards family estate, and Reed realizes that his father’s blueprints are incorrect and that he must have been shunted off into an alternate universe, so they go to rescue him. In Fantastic Four v1 #272, they discover that there’s a cruel warlord who has taken over the alternate Earth, who Reed realizes, much to his dismay, is his father. 

Yeah, this account of Reed’s childhood doesn’t entirely match up with what later writers did with Nathaniel.

But anyways, it turns out Nathaniel’s been fooled by his wife, who is actually the warlord and had been using Nathaniel’s scientific knowledge to conquer the planet. Nathaniel eventually decides to stay on this parallel world and try to make amends, and also raise his baby son, Reed’s half-brother. It turns out at the end of this issue – which is expanded upon in Avengers v1 #269 – that this reality is actually the one Kang the Conqueror is from, and that Kang, whose real name is Nathaniel Richards, is actually Nathaniel’s descendant and/or son, and thus distantly related to Reed or his half-brother. 

So Nathaniel basically went to an alternate world and started a new family, away from Reed.

Nathaniel doesn’t return until Fantastic Four v1 #375, but when he does it’s just to cause trouble. This is the characterization of Nathaniel that’s stuck. He cares about his family, but he’s almost ruthlessly practical when it comes to protecting the timestream, and he’ll lie, manipulate, and deceive his family to make that happen. Reed and Sue discover that in Fantastic Four v1 #376, when Nathaniel kidnaps his grandson in order to prevent some apocalyptic future from occurring.

Franklin returns moments later…but instead of a 5yo, he’s a teenager, raised in the future by his grandfather. Reed and Sue discover they’ve missed his entire childhood, and Sue, for one, is livid and refuses to believe it.

The FF, understandably, have a very difficult time forgiving Nathaniel for this. They mostly think of him as manipulative, self-serving, and largely uninterested in his family.

When Reed is seemingly killed in action, Nathaniel shows up for the reading of his will…and Ben clearly despises and distrusts him. From Fantastic Four: Unplugged #2:

Despite Nathaniel’s mistreatment of Reed, Reed keeps seeking his approval and love, but Nathaniel consistently denies it to him. We see this in Marvel Knights 4 #18, when Reed begs his father to stick around and actually be a parent, and Nathaniel just…leaves.

Reed always sees the best in everyone….even if it’s difficult.

We discover too that Nathaniel has been posing as Doom because he is searching for his son, who is destined to become the absolute ruler of Latveria. Sue at first assumes he means Doom, but it turns out he was talking about Kristoff, Doom’s adopted son, who is thus Nathaniel’s biological son and Reed’s half-brother.

In Fantastic Four v1 #581, we find out that an explosion that occurred while Nathaniel was working for the Brotherhood left him potentially immortal and with the ability to travel through time. Also, that it affected every Nathaniel in every universe, and that they were all ordered by Immortus and the Time Variance Authority to hunt each other down and kill each other until there’s only one left. Nathaniel gets Reed, Ben, and Victor to help him murder the final one. I am…so impressed by Nathaniel’s parenting skills. What kind of parent wouldn’t disappear for YEARS and then reappear only to ask their college-aged kid and his friends to help them murder their alternate self?

He is so bad at parenting. It’s really a wonder Reed turned out so well.

Hope that helped!

[glenngaylord]

MY MOMENTS OUT OF TIME IN FILM 2017

Instead of a Top 10 List, every year I like to honor a long-discontinued but influential annual column from Film Comment magazine. I couldn’t wait for my father to come home from work with the “Moments Out Of Time” issue.  The writers would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked, because let’s face it, even bad films may have a great moment or two, unless you were a film called RINGS, CATFIGHT, THE SNOWMAN, or THE DINNER.  In that case, you suck in the most forgettable of ways. Despite some obvious stinkers, this was a great year for film. Some resonated with me, such as I, TONYA and THE FLORIA PROJECT as they tackled the issue of class in America.  Despite being period pieces, films such as DARKEST HOUR and THE POST pinged on topics such as war-mongering and the need for a free press, both of which we seem to talk about daily right now.  I have a few I need to catch up on, such as MUDBOUND and THE SQUARE, and one I recently saw, A GHOST STORY, wowed me, but I haven’t written a review of it yet.  

Even I can’t see them all, so here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time in film for 2017:

“America. They want someone to love, but they want someone to hate, and the haters always say, 'Tonya, tell the truth!' There’s no such thing as truth. I mean it’s bullshit! Everyone has their own truth.” - I, TONYA

A little girl (the great Brooklyn Prince) stands in front of a motel room door, telling her little friends they’re not allowed to enter.  She pauses, and then mischievously says, “But let’s go anyways!”  in a moment of pure rebellious, but dangerous joy. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

A young man (Lucas Hedges) begs his girlfriend (Saoirse Ronan) not to out him in one of the most touching moments of the year. - LADY BIRD

A woman (Cynthia Nixon’s blazing portrayal of Emily Dickinson) desperate to connect with someone, anyone, lights up whenever she’s around her soon-to-depart friend.  It’s a joy you wish she could have at all times.  It’s that ache to spar with another human that cuts to the core of this lonely tragedy. - A QUIET PASSION.  

Try watching the “I did not hit her” rooftop filmmaking sequence without bursting with glee.  One of the best-sustained comedy sequences of the year. - THE DISASTER ARTIST

A beautiful, long final shot of a young man (Timothée Chalamet) swimming in his tearful thoughts as the end credits role will break your heart. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

So will his father’s (Michael Stulbarg) 11th hour speech to him. - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

A ghost in a white sheet with two eye holes, who has traveled across time for centuries, finally finds something important, which jogs his memory, making him feel less alone in the world, and then in a startling swish, is gone. - A GHOST STORY

Meryl Streep, in the most delicious long pause of 2017, struggles with the tough decision whether to publish the Pentagon Papers or not.  She conveys every pro and con with a series of reactions, leaving the audience breathless until she finally, and thrillingly, becomes a feminist heroine for the ages. - THE POST

Sure, it’s ostensibly Daniel Day-Lewis’ last film, but it’s the women, one with a deadening stare (Leslie Manville) and the other with the best eye flutter I’ve ever seen (Vicky Krieps), who take charge of this fascinatingly perverse story of control. - PHANTOM THREAD

A cleaning woman (Octavia Spencer) dusts a giant steampunk contraption as her mute co-worker looks on, sending the increasingly magical fable into a visually stunning dreamscape. - THE SHAPE OF WATER

“You know I can’t give you the keys, right babe?”  A chilling line in a scene in which a sympathetic, engaging character transforms into a monster, making Allison Williams, so often hated and too easily dismissed on GIRLS, as someone to REALLY watch as her career rises and rises.  - GET OUT

A beloved, iconic character from the original film makes a stunning, surprise appearance.  Despite it being CGI, this was the movie-movie moment of 2017. - BLADE RUNNER 2049

A bellicose, raging Prime Minister, known for his speeches, sits quietly with the square-ish frame filled with dark, negative space and seemingly lit by a single, too-bright light bulb.  He’s alone and yet belongs to us all, the push-pull of this theme resonating throughout the entire film. - DARKEST HOUR

“This didn't put an end to shit, you fucking retard; this is just the fucking start. Why don't you put that on your Good Morning Missouri fucking wake up broadcast, bitch?” - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Bill Skarsgård’s reading of the line, “Take it!” will haunt me for years. His Pennywise proved to be surprisingly haunting and indelible. - IT

The film’s not great, but Christopher Plummer and Ridley Scott deserve all the “We’re Not Worthy’s” for pulling off the Great Kevin Spacey Replacement of 2017 in 9 days, and actually delivering a full-bodied, memorable character in the process. - ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD

A desperate thief uses his smarts to wheel his badly-injured brother out of the hospital in an impressive feat.  It shows a whip-smart mind in the body of  person with lost potential, and in a moment which proves this well-meaning guy just can’t get a break, it turns out he took the wrong person. - GOOD TIME

Michael Cera, even more villainous and sociopathic than he was in THIS IS THE END, and apparently channeling Tobey Maguire, freaked me out as a hateful, poker-playing celeb. - MOLLY’S GAME

Ok, people will be talking about the biplane scene forever, but nothing made me laugh more than Tiffany Haddish’s reading of this line:  “Girl, you can't get no infection in your booty hole! It's a booty hole!” - GIRLS TRIP

Bridget Everett, in a blazingly intense performance, sings the shit out of Lita Ford’s KISS ME DEADLY in a dive bar and transforms herself from comedienne to serious dramatic actor. - PATTI CAKE$

A crazed woman (Aubrey Plaza) barges in on the wedding of a social media friend and maces her for not getting on the invite list, giving the Facebook effect its full and insane due. - INGRID GOES WEST

A young woman, unable to take one more second of her overbearing, judgmental mother (Laurie Metcalf), surprisingly jumps out of a moving car. - LADY BIRD

Charlize Theron kicks one ass after another in a seemingly single shot (but not really), making this one of the greatest fight sequences ever filmed. - ATOMIC BLONDE

Algee Smith finds the heart of the story as a musician who struggles with his ambitions after a harrowing all-night encounter with racists cops. - DETROIT

Say what you will about the insanity that unspools, but Michelle Pfeiffer as the houseguest from hell was fun to watch and sorely missed when not onscreen. - MOTHER!

As Elton John’s ROCKET MAN plays on the radio, Bille Jean King (Emma Stone) and her new girlfriend Marilyn (Andrea Riseborough) drive in sun-dappled glory, their hair blowing around with each surprising gust of wind.  It’s a perfect evocation of the 70s. - BATTLE OF THE SEXES

After following around an imaginative, enterprising man (Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc) as he develops the most successful fast food chain in the world, and seeing his as a hero, he transforms into a terrible villain about halfway through, making us question the value of the American Dream. - THE FOUNDER

A suicidal Spud, his head covered in suffocating plastic, leans back in his chair and falls backwards off the top of a building, but a flash cut send him to the floor of his apartment where Renton (Ewan McGregor) slides under him to catch him.  One of the most imaginative, emotional cuts in a film I’ve seen this year. - T2 TRAINSPOTTING

Don’t heckle Kumail Nanjiani!  Holly Hunter WILL read you to filth by interjecting, “That is like saying that all frat boys wearing country club hats and Hawaiian shirts have shriveled up  tiny little dicks!” - THE BIG SICK

A young man throws himself down in the sand as bombs explode closer and closer to him. A spectacular feat of cinematography and muffled sound, and one of the greatest shots in cinema history. - DUNKIRK

A mother kicks the chair her little daughter sits in, sending her flying.  A sudden, impactful depiction of abuse. - I, TONYA

Tom Cruise emerges from a crashed plane, his face hilariously covered in cocaine. - AMERICAN MADE

A seemingly sweet young man (Barry Keoghan, my favorite new actor of the year) changes his entire demeanor and quickly, chillingly tells a doctor (Colin Farrell), in no uncertain terms, what is going to happen to him and his family. - THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER

The best opening sequence award of the year easily goes to a film which mixed musical filmmaking with kinetic car chases and an endearing sense of rhythm. - BABY DRIVER

Eels creepily slither around a woman in a tub in an otherwise completely forgettable, indulgent film - A CURE FOR WELLNESS

Adam Sandler winningly loses his shit as he searches for a parking space. - THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES - NEW AND SELECTED

“See!  I took you on a safari!” exclaims Brooklyn Prince to her friend as they stand in front of a herd of cattle. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

An ape, bigger than ever portrayed before, emerges out of nowhere and swats down helicopters like flies as the camera gloriously swirls around him.  It’s APOCALYPSE NOW’s famous attack scene, but this time the invaded kick the invaders’ asses. - KONG: SKULL ISLAND

A messy trainwreck of a person (Anne Hathaway) lugs a mattress around town and literally confronts her inner demons. - COLOSSAL

A major character unexpectedly spits up blood on another, in a shocking moment (and there are a few in this film) I’ll remember for a long time. - THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

French ACT-UP AIDS activists throw blood all over the offices of a pharmaceutical company, and heroically help change the speed at which drugs were approved for a population in desperate need of good news. - BPM

Despite being a thrilling adventure film, the quiet moments, such as the wonderful final shot of a woman walking out of a room and into the jungle, made this stirring yarn into something more internal and thoughtful. - THE LOST CITY OF Z

By this time, we’ve seen too many cars racing around, so instead we focus on the pleasure of seeing a dreadlocked Charlize Theron deliciously chewing the scenery from the evil lair of her jet, sending her into Faye Dunaway territory. - THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

The unexpected death of a major star, as a gelatinous, alien creature slides down his throat, destroying him from the inside out in zero gravity, may feel straight out of the ALIEN textbook, but it’s memorable nonetheless. - LIFE

I’m usually not a sucker for Disney movie songs, but I have not been able to get EVERMORE out of my head ever since I saw the film, and I mean that in a really good way. - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Same goes for Elvis Costello’s fantastic contribution with YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, from a beautiful but not-great movie. - FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

Instead of the chestburster, we get the backbreaker, and instead of John Hurt, we get a character we don’t care about…but it STILL manages to be freaky and cool in an otherwise execrable film. - ALIEN: COVENANT

Can we please distribute LICK MY ASS, DIANE t-shirts to every person on earth, or at least make it THE trending hashtag of the year?!! - I, TONYA

Gal Godot donning the titular, classic costume for the first time in the film, charges through the emotional No Man’s Land sequence and into our hearts. - WONDER WOMAN

A seemingly liberal father over-explains his love for Obama to his daughter’s new black boyfriend (Daniel Kaluuya), who makes the Dad feel ok about his issues with race.  It keenly pinpoints the struggle people of color have trying to make white people more comfortable about their discomfort. - GET OUT

Willem Dafoe’s Manager expertly takes charge of a potential child molester, demonstrating his heartwarming, soulful protection of the lovable but annoying little brats who live in his motel. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

The camera whooshes from ground level to an overhead shot as a determined skater prepares for an important routine. - I, TONYA

Yes, the movie is an unholy mess, but Hong Chau’s “I go to Norway” speech is just a little masterpiece. - DOWNSIZING

Feet moving on red splotches of sand as they battle with their light sabers. - STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

A return to the iPhone footage he used in TANGERINE pays off perfectly in the final sequence, a rush of imagination, and a surprising and unforgettable place to take your little survivor of a main character, even if it’s potentially just a fantasy.  It doesn���t change the fact that a neglected but loved little girl wants a little escape. - THE FLORIDA PROJECT

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #113: Your Young Men Shall Slay Visions!

July, 1973

So. I guess Vision is super dead this time.

And he was killed by young men. There was no need to take him down. I said, young men. Pick that synthezoid off the ground.

Gotta give Englehart this, he sure knows how to change one word in a bible verse to make it into a title for a comic book.

Anyways, Wanda is going to Avenge him. And then she can date Lil’ Vision.

Just a heads up, this is kind of a weird issue. Not incomprehensible. Just eyebrow raising.

We start off before Vision is super dead. The Avengers are repairing the Statue of Liberty after Gog tore it up in Astonishing Tales #18. I guess Damage Control doesn’t exist yet.

Its good to see the Avengers uncausing some property damage for a change. And just look at Vision and Cap recapitating Liberty.

Not that they’re actually good statue repairers. The torch hand falls off and falls toward Scarlet Witch but Vision flies down to intercept it and lets it break across his back.

Guess Liberty is a southpaw now.

He also leaves Cap holding the entire crown but I guess Cap has super-strength or something now.

In the heat of the moment and grateful that nothing bad happened to anyone that wasn’t a statue, Wanda and Vision start making out.

This happens to be in public where everyone can see. And it causes a bit of a to-do.

Although what causes more of one is that Cap loses his grip on the crown and Iron Man barely catches it before it smashes into the ground. All while Wanda and Vision continue to make out, oblivious of the outside world or the people that almost died.

Ah, young love!

Anyway. It happened in public so now its on the news so now Mike Williams is interviewing random people for vox pops.

Despite Iron Man’s fear in an earlier episode, the public overall seems supportive of a woman making out with a robot man! One guy thinks that the Avengers are due joy for all that they’ve saved the world and another woman is just way into celebrities in love.

But another guy with gritted teeth and oddly red eyes proclaims that Wanda and Vision aren’t people.

Meanwhile, inside Avengers Mansion, Wanda reacts to people reacting to her and Vision being together. Its not like they were trying to keep the relationship a secret so she knew the news would break someday. But she expected more trouble! She’s been hated and feared all her life so she was a bit paranoid but maybe things will be different this time and nothing ironic will happen!

Vision isn’t so sure. Crowds are extremely fickle. The Marvel public doubly so.

And Cap gives Jarvis a hand opening some fan mail. He finds some hate mail proclaiming that androids are agents of the devil and have no souls.

This hater could have done with having someone proofread.

Cap angrily crumples the letter and throws it in the fireplace.

Meanwhile, at the front door, Iron Man and Black Panther field some questions. One woman wants Iron Man to bring her autograph book to Scarlet Witch and Vision to sign.

And an old Native American woman baked a cake for Vision. Not sure if he can eat but its the thought that counts. Although, here’s a bit of a cringey thing. She baked the cake because she heard Vision had red skin which makes him “a soul brother!”

Wow, Englehart.

Meanwhile (or to be more accurate, interspersed through some of those vignettes), the guy that reported the kiss to the media and then said that Wanda and Vision weren’t people to a reporter, makes a call asking everyone to get together for a meeting.

So in an abandoned warehouse in a bad neighborhood, jerk guy meets with his people. And the meeting is because the moment they’ve FEARED has come.

A ROBOT HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN. I mean, she’s a mutant but that’s technically still a person. AND IF HE MARRIES HER, A ROBOT WILL HAVE RIGHTS? IN THIS COUNTRY??

Obviously, this will lead to humanity becoming second-class citizens under a super-race of robots. Obviously.

Look, just look.

Take it all in.

Anyway, they’re so fervent about their cause that they’re willing to die for it. By suicide-bombing.

And they all happen to be wearing bomb vests under their coats. But these are certainly unique bomb vests that these “Living Bombs” are wearing.

Geez. If this wasn’t so goofy, it would be quite tasteless. As it is its only very tasteless.

Later, the Avengers fight some people wearing green uniforms and armbands and I guess they hate foreigners. I wonder if they’re Sons of the Serpent with slightly less bad fashion sense or another group of militant anti-immigration peeps.

Guess it doesn’t matter. The Avengers beat them up. Its so not even an issue that its over in five panels.

Afterward, the crowd rushes to thank the Avengers for beating those chumps but one pushes past the rest because she wants to shake the Vision’s hand.

One in a silly, not very good disguise.

Yup.

It’s one of the Living Bombs.

And sure that history will praise her forever, as soon as Living Bomb Carol gets close to Vision, she throws off the hood and activates the head trigger and explodes right in Vision’s face.

Scarlet Witch rushes over, despairing that Vision has been killed. But he is still conscious enough to talk to her and say that he’s been terribly damaged internally.

There’s still a chance to save him! They have Ant-Man’s notes on his internals. They have one of the best surgeons and one of the best engineers on speed-dial. And they have Tony Stark’s Long Island plant with all the equipment they’ll need!

Before Thor flies off to ‘find’ Dr. Donald Blake, Wanda asks him to make sense of all this as a not human. All he can answer is that its ‘blind, unreasoning hate’ and Wanda darkly responds that that’s something she understands.

Back at Living Bomb Warehouse, the Living Bombs get ready for a second attack. Carol may have failed but the news has reported that Vision has been taken to Stark Industries for repair. And if at first Carol doesn’t succeed, try try try try try try again.

Because they have six tries left and head jerk guy swears Vision will die today!

(Whaddajerk)

So at Stark Industries Long Island plant, Donald Blake (secretly Thor), Tony Stark (secretly Iron Man), and T’Challa (not-secretly Black Panther) all prepare to joust with death.

Which is a phrase the evokes a beautiful mental image, I think.

First thing, they pop a skylight and focus the light through a prism. The Vision is solar powered so this solar transfusion will help.

Next thing, they hit a snag. Vision had been rock hard before the explosion. They won’t be able to open him up to operate like this. So Wanda talks to Vision, asks him to unclench.

And on some level, I guess he hears her because he does.

Now its just up to T’Challa, Blake, and Stark. But since its a very invasive procedure, they can’t be interrupted or the shock of the operation might finish up the job the bomb started and kill Vision.

Meanwhile, another three panels of Mantis! Hooray!

This time the shadowy person regrets agreeing to their trip to the Avengers. The Avengers will never accept them.

“He who fears the bee’s sting will never taste the honey,” she responds.

Apparently this was convincing enough because the shadowy figure agrees to keep going.

Meanwhile, back at the plot! Captain America is pacing the halls and kind of wondering something.

Where are Thor and Iron Man? Their teammate is dying!

But mostly he just wishes there were something he could do instead of pacing! Some distraction.

Like maybe the Living Bombs bursting in and shooting him with a stun weapon they stole from the Stark Industry guards?

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, CAP.

Except he wasn’t as stunned as one might hope if one were a Living Bomb.

So one of them decides to sacrifice himself to get Cap out of the way. He runs at Cap and pushes the head plunger EXPLODING IN A GIANT COLUMN OF EXPLOSION!

Which leaves Cap strangely untouched. What’s the deal?

Hex power is the deal. Scarlet Witch apparently came out to see the fuss and used her power to save Cap.

Ooo, very like the Civil War movie except without terrible consequences!

While Wanda runs off to let her MP build back up and to warn the OR, Cap starts punching pantsless dudes in the face.

Since the current place they’re working on is more T’Challa’s field, Tony Stark runs off to ‘find’ Iron Man.

And wow, he sure finds him pretty quickly. Like he knew exactly where to look.

But anyway. Iron Man joins the fray!

He joins Cap in punching pantsless dudes. The key thing is to keep them too befuddled to hit their head detonators.

And they fail the key thing. One of the guys goes to plunge his detonator hat so Iron Man grabs him and jets through the hole in the roof.

The Living Bomb becomes an Unliving Explosion safely in the air above the Stark Industries plant.

And one minute later, Tony Stark rushes back into the operating lab. Which is good! The operation had reached a critical stage that needed Tony Stark’s expertise!

Tony Stark tells Donald Blake to go find Thor. Hey! Maybe Donald Blake will find him in the same room where Tony found Iron Man, *wink*!

So, yeah. Tony Stark and Donald Blake figured out each other’s secret identities. This deeper insight makes them the two founding Avengers with the closest relationship who didn’t get married to each other. A close relationship which ends when Tony makes a Thor clone and Thor finds out.

Anyway, its actually kind of a cute moment, given what’s going on.

With Tony working on Vision, Donald Blake ‘finds’ Thor and T’Challa just pulls on his mask. The two of them join Cap and Wanda in fighting the Living Bombs.

But this time the Living Bombs are keeping their distance and blasting at the Avengers with the stun rays.

They’re feeling down about their chances though. They’ve lost Phil and Mal and haven’t gained an inch against the Avengers.

BUT DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO HAVE DIED IN VAIN? DO YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO GROW UP SLAVES OF THE ANDROIDS?

Black Panther tries to do some cool acrobatic shit but gets stun blasted because he was philosophizing inside his head instead of focusing on the sweet flips.

But Wanda’s MP has regenerated and she uses her power to magnetize the wall, yanking the Living Bombs toward it.

Thus distracted, Thor pulls out his own sweet move.

He whirls and whirls and whirls Mjolnir and creates a tornado which rips a bit more of the Stark Industries plant roof off (but what is a little roof between friends?) and also sucks all the Living Bombs into the sky where they can be safely subdued without worrying about them exploding in any faces.

Except they choose ‘death before dishonor’ and set off their bombs, exploding harmlessly in the sky. With a WHOOM!, CRUMP!, KATAM!, and BLOMM! the threat of the Living Bombs ends forever.

Nobody is bringing this group back.

Tony Stark pokes his head into the ruins of his plant and announces that Vision will pull through! He’s gonna be okay!

Wanda isn’t feeling the happy news though. Vision helped save the world again and again and he’s the best man she’s ever met. But the Living Bombs only saw him as a threat!

Even her own brother hates the Vision and they were teammates!

So if its going to be the two of them against the world then look out world!

She’s had a long day. And she started it so optimistically.

So. That was the time that Vision was attacked by a suicide bomber because he was dating a human. And got stuck in a robot coma and had to have emergency surgery while more suicide bombers tried to finish the job.

This was also the issue that gave us so many explosion sounds. We have TA-ROOM!, KA-COOM!, VA-BLAMM!, WHOOM!, CRUMP!, KATAM! and BLOMM! Every explosion a beautiful snowflake of cacophony!

One last thing to say.

Despite the unpleasant circumstances, it is a bit heartening that the majority of people reacted positively to the news of Vision and Wanda being together. It sucks that there are a few negative people that thought they had to Byrne it all down and ruined a beautiful thing.

Next time is finally Mantis time. I’m very excited.

Hey, if you like this cool Avengers liveblog, consider following @essential-avengers. It is the sideblog just for this cool liveblog.