#you just don't shade Rian in this house

[atlfics]

Jack's New Year's Eve Party- All Time Low Fanfiction

Alex doesn't act like himself at Jack's New Year's party. Word Count: 4171. Takes place during the Don't Panic era.

TW: drinking

More notes at the end.

“Jack, I can’t believe your parents are trusting you to throw a New Year’s Eve party at their house while they’re visiting your family back home. I know they’re pretty laid back, but this is insane,” Rian asked, laughing as he cracked open his first drink of the evening. 

“I don’t know, to be honest. When I asked them about it, I was kind of kidding, but they said yes, so I went with it. I’m excited, though, this is going to be the party I always wanted to throw here in high school. I’ve always felt like this is such a cool party house, and I never got to fully see that vision out back then. I guess now that I’m in my mid-twenties, I’m more of an adult in their eyes,” Jack explained, placing some drinks into a large cooler. 

“Your whole job is to party, Jack, I don’t necessarily think that your parents see you as this mature, wise beyond your years adult,” Zack joked, laughing as he helped Jack load up the cooler. 

“It could be! Either way, I’m so excited for this, it’s going to be such a fun night celebrating the end of such an amazing year. This has been a great year for the band, with the release of ‘Don’t Panic’, it feels like we’ve reached a new level, y’know?” Jack continued, smiling in pride at his thought of the band. 

“We really have, and it’s all thanks to Alex’s songwriting!” Rian said, walking over to Alex and nudging him. 

Alex put on a forced looking smile as Jack turned away from the cooler to look at his friend. Jack was surprised to see such an uncomfortable look on Alex’s face; he knew that Alex was very humble and shy when it came to compliments, but this look seemed different. He couldn’t put his finger on what Alex’s facial expression was saying, but he knew it was at least somewhat odd. 

“Well, it wasn’t just me, you guys are a huge part of the writing process, too. I couldn’t do what I do without you all. I mean, you guys will just come into the studio with a riff or a beat, and a song just naturally forms,” Alex replied, his face turning a light shade of red as he spoke. 

“Yeah, it’s a group effort, but you’re the captain of this ship, man,” Zack added, making Alex’s face get even redder. 

“Thanks, guys. Hey, we need to finish setting everything up, it’s almost ten, and we still need to make sure the decor is up, and that there are coolers and cups in every room people are allowed to go in!” Alex exclaimed, abruptly changing the subject. 

“It should all be fine, but let’s double check, I guess,” Jack decided, letting Alex have an out from the conversation. 

Jack could’ve sworn he saw a small smile cross Alex’s face when he spoke, almost as if it were to express gratitude for getting out of the conversation. Deciding to ignore it for Alex’s sake, Jack led everyone from the kitchen into the living room, where Rian, Zack and Alex took a seat. 

Jack went around through the rest of the house, making sure that it looked ready for later. He checked the dining room, which was set up for beer pong, and the den. Next, he went downstairs, where there was a Billiards table and slot machine, along with a built in bar, which was fully stocked with beer and liquor. Smiling at his work, Jack went back upstairs and sat in the recliner chair by the couch. 

“Everything looks good, I’m so excited! This is going to be the best party our school has ever seen!” Jack exclaimed, making his friends laugh.

“Our school? Do you mean the one we graduated from almost seven years ago?” Zack asked, continuing to laugh at Jack’s comment. 

“Oh shit, it’s been that long? We’re really getting old,” Jack stated, mock panic on his face. 

“We really are, dude,” Alex said, staring off into the distance. 

Jack, Rian and Zack shared a glance after Alex’s comment, but before anyone could speak, the doorbell rang. 

“Our first party guest is here! Zack, put on some music that doesn’t suck!” Jack exclaimed, bolting up from his seat, and rushing over to the front door. 

“Hey now, none of my music sucks,” Zack defensively replied, connecting his phone to the speaker system in Jack’s house. 

“Hey, how are you?” Jack asked, a huge smile spreading across his face as his first guests walked inside. 

“Hey, Jack! Long time no see! Same for you three, too!” One of the guests exclaimed, hugging Jack, then making his way over to the couch to greet the other three. 

Before Jack could even close the door, more people walked up to be let in. Jack was just as excited to see the next group of people as he had been for the first, practically pulling them inside his house. 

This started a chain reaction, several more people quickly started to walk up Jack’s front step to be let in. Jack decided that he didn’t want to be stuck by the door for the foreseeable future, so he left the door open and unlocked the storm door, and went back over to the couch, where his first couple of guests were catching up with Rian, Zack, and Alex. 

“So, you guys have really been all around the world at this point, haven’t you?” The guest asked, opening a beer from the cooler, and passing one to the friend he’d come with. 

“Yeah, we really have now, it’s so crazy. I don’t think we ever pictured the band taking off like this, and being so successful. It’s everything we’ve dreamed of and more,” Rian replied, a huge smile on his face. 

“We knew since high school that you guys would take off. You’re all so talented individually, and bring so much to each other’s talents. And, you guys have the best frontman in the game, which I think has made all the difference,” the other guest added, as everybody turned to Alex, who had been completely silent throughout the entire conversation up to this point. 

“That’s very kind, thank you. It really is a group effort, though,” Alex said, clearly trying to get the attention off of himself. 

Jack noticed that Alex didn’t have a drink in hand, which was very unlike him in a party atmosphere. He decided to help his friend out, so he got up and grabbed Alex’s favorite beer out of the cooler that was on the other side of the room. When he walked back over to Alex and held the beer out for him, Alex almost looked confused at the gesture. 

“Oh, thanks, Jack. This is my favorite,” Alex stated, another forced smile making its way onto his face. 

Jack really wanted to pull Alex to the side and ask him what was going on, but he didn’t want to make Alex feel more uncomfortable than he probably already did. He hoped that Alex might eventually talk to him, because he was concerned, but he didn’t want to make anything worse. 

“You’re welcome, man. Hey, should we go play beer pong in the dining room? This is a house party, after all!” Jack exclaimed, making everyone but Alex smile in excitement. 

“Let’s do it!” Rian exclaimed, leading his friends out to the dining room. 

Alex trailed behind, looking down at his feet as he slowly made his way into the dining room. Once they were in the dining room, Rian led Zack over to one side of the table, and Jack guided Alex over to the other. 

“We should do a two versus two! Me and Zack versus you guys!” Rian exclaimed, looking over to Jack and Alex. 

“I think I just want to watch, actually,” Alex said, avoiding making eye contact with any of his friends. 

“We can’t do a two versus two if one team only has one,” Jack pointed out, causing a guilty look to appear on Alex’s face. 

“Hey, I’ll take Alex’s spot!” A high school friend exclaimed, rushing over to stand next to Jack. 

“Um, sure, as long as that’s fine with you, Alex. I know we’re typically a team when it comes to beer pong,” Jack continued, looking over to Alex. 

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. I’m going to sit and watch. I’m rooting for you, Jack! No offense, Rian and Zack,” Alex replied with another forced smile. 

Everybody shared an awkward laugh as Alex sat down on one of the chairs that was along the perimeter of the room. The others started their game as Alex watched, seemingly zoning in and out as the game went on. Jack couldn’t help but continue to look over to Alex as they played, his concern continuing to grow. Alex was typically the life of any party he was at, so to see him be so reserved and uncomfortable felt very alarming to Jack. 

Once the game was about to end, with Rian and Zack in the lead, another huge wave of people walked in, stealing Jack’s attention. Some of the guests walked over to Alex and talked to him, and Jack was fairly certain that the smiles Alex was sharing with them were more genuine than the ones he’d been wearing up to that point. Jack was still concerned for his friend, Alex’s behavior for the past hour had not been his normal, but Jack hoped that seeing more people would bring up Alex’s mood, and make him the happy, fun guy he normally was. 

Since Alex seemed to be a bit happier, Jack took the opportunity to mingle with guests. More people ended up coming than Jack had expected; his guests brought their friends, which made the party multiply in size from what Jack had originally expected. This was more than okay with Jack, he’d always dreamed of hosting a party like this, this was a bucket list night for him. He spent the next forty minutes chatting with everyone, catching up with old friends, and introducing himself to new ones. He took a few shots with different people, but cut himself off earlier than he normally would; since he was hosting, he felt some responsibility to stay sober enough to ensure his guests’ safety. 

Once the new year was only about twenty minutes away, Jack realized that he hadn’t seen Alex since the beer pong game, which had been almost an hour ago. Jack wanted to ring in the new year with his best friend by his side, so he decided that he needed to start looking for him. The first place Jack went to look was the basement, that was the only room he really hadn’t spent a lot of time in since the party started, so he figured Alex could’ve snuck down there at some point. 

As Jack made his way down the basement stairs, he heard loud music and a lot of yelling, quickly realizing he was walking into a very intense game of pool. He laughed as his guests yelled as one of the players shot two balls into a pocket, but stayed focused in his mission of finding Alex. He searched throughout the main room, then opened the bathroom door, thankful to not have walked in on anybody. After one last quick scan, Jack decided that Alex wasn’t in the basement. 

He walked back upstairs, saying hello and laughing to the guests who came up to him on his way. Jack made a lap around the main level, not finding Alex anywhere. The only place Jack hadn’t checked was upstairs, where the bedrooms were. Initially, he didn’t think to look upstairs, since the party was mainly in the basement and on the main level, but he figured that Alex had to be up there somewhere, since he hadn’t been anywhere else. He checked his parents’ room and one of the guest rooms; Alex wasn’t in either room, but some of his other guests were, with their dates, much to Jack’s dismay. 

“Hey, my parents sleep in that bed, don’t make out on it!” Jack exclaimed, causing the couple making out to jump away from one another and look at Jack in the doorway. 

“Sorry, um-“ the girl started, but Jack waved his hand to cut her off, before walking away. 

Jack went to check in the bathroom, but the door was locked. 

“Alex, are you in there, man?” Jack asked, knocking on the door. 

Jack heard some talking from the person on the other side of the door, but it was muffled and incoherent. Seconds later, the doorknob started to twist, and the door was opened up. Rian walked out of the bathroom, a smile on his flushed face. 

“Jack! I haven’t seen you in forever, man!” Rian exclaimed, pulling Jack into an unsteady hug. 

“Forever? Dude, it’s been, like, forty minutes. How’s your night, are you okay?” Jack asked, once Rian let him go. 

“Yeah, this party is great! I’ve seen so many people from our high school class, and I’ve made so many new friends, too! Your parents are the best for letting you host this party!”

“They really are, aren’t they? Hey, listen, have you seen Alex lately? I haven’t seen him since our beer pong game a little while ago, and it’s almost the new year; I want to make sure he’s with us to ring it in,” 

Rian silently thought to himself for a minute, Jack figured the alcohol he’d consumed was making his memory a bit fuzzy. 

“Hm, it’s been a bit since I have. The last time I saw him, he looked like he was going somewhere, and he looked a bit down,” Rian finally said, clearly using most of his energy remember this interaction with Alex. 

“Going somewhere? Did he leave the party?” Jack asked, feeling confused. 

Jack pulled out his phone to see if Alex had texted about leaving for the night, and felt even more confused to see no new messages from his friend. 

“No, I think he’s still here. When I saw him, he mentioned something about going somewhere where only you would be able to find him. He was being super cryptic and mysterious, so who knows what he meant by that,”

Jack felt a lightbulb go off in his head as Rian spoke, a hopeful smile crossing his face. 

“That’s actually really helpful! Thank you, Rian!”

“I’m glad I could be of service. If you don’t have anymore questions for me, I’m going to go back downstairs and find that girl I was flirting with earlier. She might be the one, man,” Rian stated, his tone serious. 

“I’m sure she is, dude. Good luck, I’ll catch up with you later,”

Jack gave Rian an encouraging pat on the back, then quickly made his way to his childhood bedroom. He was relieved to see that there were no party guests in his room, messing with his things or making out on his bed. He knew that it wouldn’t be a big deal if there were, but it was nice to see his space be vacant. Jack took a quick look around his room; it still looked just like it did when he was in high school. His posters were still on the wall, the same bedding was on his bed, and his first guitars were still around the room, some on floor stands and some mounted on the wall. 

He eventually shook his head, getting himself back to reality, and walked over to his closet. Jack opened the door, then pushed the couple pieces of clothing hanging up to the sides, revealing another door. After taking a deep breath, Jack walked into his closet, and opened the door to the steps that led up to the attic. This was one of the reasons Jack had always loved his room growing up, it felt like he had his own hideaway, or bonus room. Sure, his family stored their things up in the attic, too, but it felt like his space. When he had first started hanging out with Alex in middle school, they made the attic their hangout spot. They had many sleepovers and jam sessions in the attic; it was a very special place for the two of them. 

It was because of this, that Jack wasn’t very surprised to find Alex sitting on the attic floor, staring out the tiny window that was on the front of the house. Alex was balled up, his knees in his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. His head was resting on his knees, and the expression on his face brought back the feelings of concern that Jack had felt earlier in the evening. Alex looked sad, an expression he rarely wore, if ever. Jack had absolutely no idea why Alex was upset, but he had every intention to find out, and to do what he could to be there for his friend. 

“Hey, there’s only about fifteen minutes until midnight,” Jack stated, quietly enough as to not startle Alex. 

Alex pulled his attention away from the window and looked up to Jack, the beginnings of tears in his eyes. Jack took a seat and scooted close to his friend, using his hands to balance himself on the ground. 

“Shit, is it really? I’ve not been keeping up with the time,” Alex replied, his voice small and shaky. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter right now. Alex, what’s going on? You’ve been super quiet and distant all night, when you normally love parties and hanging out with people,”

Alex took a deep breath as he hugged himself tighter, resting his cheek on his knee. He looked down to the ground, then back up to Jack, a shameful look on his face. 

“I don’t know, but I know I’m ruining the night. You can go back down to the party, I’ll be okay,” 

“Alex, we’ve been best friends for more than ten years now. I know something’s up, and I have every intention of staying up here with you to help however I can. Also, you’re not ruining anything, I promise; I just want to do what I can to be here for you,”

“I appreciate that, Jack. I don’t know, I guess the whole ‘New Year’s’ thing just feels different this year. Different in a bad way,”

“How so? Do you just not feel like partying?”

“No, it’s not that. I guess it just feels like I don’t have anything to look back on and be proud of, and I don’t have anything to look forward to in the new year,” Alex explained, sounding embarrassed. 

“Alex, you have so much to be proud of! The band has reached new heights this year, and that is largely because of you! We wouldn’t be this successful without you,” Jack tried, patting Alex on the back. 

“No, the band is a group effort, that’s why we’ve done well this year. Honestly, it feels like that success is because of you three, not because of me. I feel like everything I did this year wasn’t good enough, or at least not as good as it could’ve been,”

“What’s making you think that, though? I know that you know you’re incredibly talented at what you do, what’s making you have so much self doubt now?”

“I think I’ve always felt insecure about my abilities, but it’s been amplified this year. Maybe because we’ve been on bigger stages, figuratively and literally. There’s more people commenting their opinions on us, on me. Sure, we’ve gained new fans, but I can’t go on social media without seeing a negative comment about me, or my lyrics. I know I shouldn’t care so much, I should just focus on the good, but it’s fucking hard sometimes. We started this band to have a good time making music with each other, but I don’t think we thought about the scrutiny that would come when we were jamming in Rian’s basement all throughout high school,” Alex explained, tears finally starting to spill from his eyes. 

“Alex, I didn’t know you were feeling this way. I mean, I know the hate is there, I see it too sometimes, but it’s so small in comparison to the comments of people saying that they love us and our music. When did the hate start to bother you so much?” Jack asked, genuinely surprised that this is what had been bothering Alex throughout the night. 

“It comes and goes, I can’t really remember a specific point in time where it started to bother me. I think that a lot of the time, I can just kind of roll my eyes and laugh, but sometimes it really messes with me. The reason it’s mothering me so much today is because I’ve been reflecting on the year, trying to think of what I’ve accomplished. Anything good that I’ve come up with has been overshadowed by my own insecurities and doubts as a musician and a person,”

Alex moves his head so his face is covered. He unwraps one of his hands from his leg, and puts his hand to his face, wiping away the tears that continue to spill from his eyes. Not knowing what to say, Jack scoots closer to his friend, and puts an arm around his shoulders. Jack hugs Alex tightly to him, as Alex continues to take shaky breaths and cry. They stay like this for a few minutes, sitting in silence, aside from the faint sounds of Alex crying. Eventually, Alex takes a deep breath, then looks back up to Jack. 

“Sorry to dump that on you, I know we’re supposed to be partying,” Alex finally says, his voice unsteady. 

“Don’t apologize, dude. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling this way, I really had no idea that you’ve been struggling with this. I know it’s easy to say the hate shouldn’t matter, because it can feel like a lot sometimes. I know you might not think this right now, but you are such an incredibly talented musician, and an even better person, and I’m not just saying that. This band wouldn’t be what it is without you, and my life wouldn’t be as great as it is if you weren’t in it. I feel so lucky to have you as my best friend and bandmate, and I know Rian and Zack feel the same. Some mean people with nothing better to do in their lives do not define you, and they really don’t matter. The hate can be loud, but I’m here to be louder, and to remind you of how amazing you are,” Jack replied, wrapping his other arm around Alex to give him a proper hug. 

“Thank you for saying that, Jack. It really means a lot. Sometimes, it’s easy for me to get stuck in my head and fixate on things that are stupid. A wake up call to snap out of it helps, and you’ve done that for me now. Thank you for being such a great friend, I’m so glad we met back in middle school,”

Before Jack could speak, loud yelling started below them, making them both jump. Jack pulled his phone out of his pocket, and saw that it was one minute until midnight. 

“I think they’re counting down, it’s one minute until the new year. Want to watch the time until it changes?” Jack asked, making Alex smile. 

“Sure, let’s do it,” Alex replied, turning his attention to Jack’s phone. 

The muffled sounds started to become clearer, both Alex and Jack realizing that the countdown for the final ten seconds had started. Once the time changed to midnight, they both jumped. 

“Happy new year!” Jack exclaimed, smiling at his best friend. 

“Happy new year! This year is going to be even better than the last!” Alex added, making Jack smile. 

“Damn right it is! This is going to be our year, both as a band, and as people,”

“Thank you again for talking some sense into me, Jack. I really appreciate it,”

“Anytime, man, we both know you’ve done that for me a few times now, too. Are you feeling a bit better?” Jack asked, standing up. 

“Yeah, a lot better. Should we go back downstairs?” Alex continued, letting Jack pull him to stand. 

“We probably should, I need to make sure my parents’ house is still in one piece. Also, we need to check in with Rian and his new soulmate,” Jack said, laughing as Alex raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

“Rian has a girlfriend? Since when?”

“No, not really, but we’re going to go down there and play along, it’ll be a hilarious way to start the new year. I’ll explain as we walk downstairs,” 

Alex laughed again, then followed Jack out of the attic to start the year off right, by messing with Rian, and having a good time with their friends.

Hello! In a perfect world, this would've been up yesterday, on NYE, but I didn't finish it until just a few minutes before posting, so here it is a day late. I spent the last week coming up with possible writing prompts for future stories that I intend on writing, then sharing on here (getting COVID the week of Christmas gives you a wild amount of free time). I'm hoping to have another fic up soon, I've already started on another, so I'm hoping either late this week, or early next week, it'll be up! As always, feel free to leave requests if you have any (I have a couple that I've been starting to work on), I'm always happy to add more to my list! Thank you for reading, it means the world. -Liv

[taule]

TBF anyone who is familiar with how JJ operates and has good taste believed the leaks as soon as they came out lmao. I've lived long enough to know what to expect from JJ Abrams. The only reason he's valued in Hollywood it's because nepotism of course but he knows what sells and creates money. Money, not good movies. Dude should be a CEO not a filmmaker.

That’s generally the conclusion I have come to. His filmography speaks of business, not imaginative and inventive storytelling or filmmaking. Yeah obviously his choices would have been different from Rian’s and have been, going forward from TLJ, that’s a given. But comments such as what he said say more about him than Rian.

And that’s the main difference to me. I have always believed in Rian’s choices because he’s convinced me by essentially telling us what the story he wanted to tell was. He has shown us the thought he has put into continuing the mythology that Lucas built in a way that is loyal to the core themes of hope and love. In my opinion JJ has never even tried to win our trust in that regard.