#you guys i'm so sorry to say that was dandelo's irl reaction to a certain mamool ja

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Solution Nine

Dandelo, Agi, and the crew arrive at Solution Nine. There's drama, nasty food stuffs, awkward flirting, Dandelo suffering from terminal foot-in-mouth disease, and…a kiss? SFW.

“Um, so…would you like to explore with me?” Wuk Lamat asked Dandelo nervously soon after their arrival in Solution Nine. “Not that I’m afraid or anything.”

Ma’am, I will explore anything and everything with you, about you, in you, whatever you want.

Dandelo smiled. “Don’t worry, Wuk Lamat. We’ll keep each other safe.”

Because this place is creepy as fuck.

I’m not the smartest guy in the room, but even I know something is wrong here.

That, and Agi showed me her white mage soulstone, which is on FIRE?!?!?!

She nodded. “Yes, we will! I watch your back, and you watch mine.” She then gestured so damn adorably for him to join her. “Let’s go, Dandelo!”

He loved the way she said that.

It sounds almost like a song.

“You two have fun, okay! I’ll be over here doing whatever!” Agnes waved with the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever seen from her. AGI!!!

Heaving a sigh, Dandelo rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on Wuk Lamat. “Shall we?”

Fuck. Offer arm? Or not? I don’t think she’s that kind of lady, but she’s still a lady—

Fortunately for him, she is grabbing my hand. SHE IS GRABBING MY HAND AND DRAGGING ME IN SOME RANDOM DIRECTION.

THIS IS HAPPENING.

“So Dandelo,” she smiled. “What do you think of Solution Nine?”

Creepy as fuck.

“Uh, well it’s big.”

You idiot.

Of course it’s big!

It’s HUGE.

“It sure is! Ha, I’ve never seen anything like it. I—”

“Hello Lamaty’i!” Sphene’s annoying voice called to the pair. The hrothgars turned to see her running towards them.

Don’t call her that.

Don’t.

Keep it cool, Dandelo. Don’t cause an international incident based on bad vibes.

***

The selection of food on hand in Solution Nine was not at all appetizing to Dandelo.

At all.

And certainly not to Master Culinarian Agi. That is one disgusted woman.

The hyur leaned to Dandelo and whispered, “What the fuck do we do? Which one are you picking, because I get the feeling we have to pick something or else…” She trailed off, glancing nervously at Sphene. “There might be a war or some shit.”

Fuck.

“I don’t know!” He hissed. “Does it look like I know?!”

Grimacing, she shrugged. “At least the ‘steak’ is made from recognizable food stuffs.” She muttered, warily glancing between the piss poor selection. She then plastered on the fakest smile ever and pointed at the steak. “I do love…meat.”

Dandelo barely stifled a laugh as he also chose the steak.

I mean, it’s not bad.

Agi keeps chewing it and not swallowing.

Oh boy.

Is she gonna—

Agnes swallowed and hummed thoughtfully before declaring, “It’s all right!”

“All right” is Agi Code for “it’s edible and I’m hungry.”

Sphene, if that’s even her real name, is protesting a little too much here. Why is she so insistent that she can’t even have a bite of…whatever?

Dandelo was grateful when he saw Agnes’s brown eyes narrow at the young queen.

And that’s Agi Code for “Don’t like you. Don’t trust you. Never will.”

Same for me, if I’m being honest.

***

“What is that?!?!?” Dandelo practically screeched at the Mamool Ja child, who promptly hid behind a pillar. “Ugly, creepy little—"

Agnes elbowed him hard!!!! FUCK!! “Shut the fuck up! That’s a child, you dick.” She hissed.

Uh oh, Agi’s mad.

Wuk Lamat shook her head, a frown replacing the smile on her face. “Agi’s right. I’m…I’m disappointed in you, Dandelo. I expect more from someone I count as a dear friend.”

NO.

NOT THAT!

THAT’S SO MUCH WORSE!

With his heart beating out of his chest, Dandelo held up his hands. “I agree. That was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.” Don’t start rambling. Just leave it here and move on gracefully. “I mean, you gotta admit—” He stopped when both women were staring daggers at him and laughed nervously. “I, uh…”

Rolling her eyes, Agnes muttered, “Quit while you’re ahead, mate.” She glanced around and then gasped, “They’re taking off!” She pointed at the Mamool Ja child running up some stairs. “Let’s follow them!”

No, let’s not follow the creepy child, Agi.

Oh. Right.

Totally Not Creepy Child.

Wuk Lamat nodded. “Yes! Come on, Dandelo!” The Vow of Resolve ran ahead with Dandelo and Agnes bringing up the rear.

Under her breath, Agnes whispered to Dandelo, “I better not hear any other disgusting things out of your mouth about any Mamool Ja, or I will slap you next time. I won’t tolerate it from anyone but especially you.”

Dandelo Marx was not a stupid man.

Agi will slap the shit out of me without a second thought.

Those Limsa ladies are something else. Let me tell you.

“Yes, ma’am. Heard loud and clear.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Good. Now, be a sweetie to Wuk Lamat and get back in her good graces!” Godsdamnit she elbowed me again. “Just don’t be a shit!”

Don’t be a shit.

Got it.

***

Zoraal Ja is dead.

Sphene’s got a magic key and fucked off to another reflection.

Shit’s bad, everyone.

“Why don’t you and Wuk Lamat have a moment alone, Dandelo?” Agnes whispered to him. “She needs you. I’ll keep Gulool Ja company with Shale.” With a wink, she gave him a playful nudge and then motioned for the child to follow her and the elezen.

Agi really, no need to practically shove me towards the object of my most sincere and totally wholesome affection.

He approached an unusually quiet Wuk Lamat, who was standing on the other side of the room. “Hey, I—”

“Oh, I—”

They both chuckled.

Gesturing to her, Dandelo smiled. “Ladies first.”

There she is. There’s a very tiny smile.

She wrung her hands. “I, um, I know it’s been a difficult several days…weeks…but I’m truly grateful to have you by my side.”

Oh honey, it’s an honor and privilege to be by your side.

What did Agi tell me?

“Speak from the heart. You can never go wrong with that, my dear friend.”

Here. We. Go.

Dandelo swallowed thickly and reached to take her hands in his. “Lamaty’i…you, me, and Gulool Ja are going to get through this. We will. I promise. It’s going to be okay.” Inhale slowly. Exhale slowly. “We’ll be okay. And damnit, I’m proud to be by your side. I—”

He did not get to finish.

The reason being Wuk Lamat suddenly grabbing his face and kissing him in the Backroom.

Oh. My. Fucking. Gods.

It’s happening.

It’s really happening.

She broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his, sighing. “As I am proud to be by yours, amor. But first, we need to stop Sphene…and then we can talk about things over dinner? My treat.”

“Whatever you want, Lamaty’i.”

For you, my queen, anything and everything now and forever.