#you don't realize how much punctuation you use until tumblr develops a bug that won't let you use punctuation above a read more cut

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

All The World Inside Me

A/N: There was a death in my family this week. I am probably about to start posting some really angsty fic for ODAAT, and I love this fandom so I wanted to warn you. Feel free to keep sending requests, but if they are fluffy, just know they will be on hold.

Established relationship ficlet in which Penelope finds herself pregnant and Schneider is the father. Short and fluffy and random. I think this was an idea that came from chatting with @cykluber ages ago, if not an actual request.

Penelope x Schneider, One Day At A Time. Also on AO3.

They had never discussed kids because Schneider knew she did not want more, and Penelope knew he knew that. They had used protection and they were in their forties and this was not supposed to happen.

Ay Dios mio, this was not supposed to happen. What if he was upset about it? Above all else, Schneider would never want to hurt her, even by being honest.

“It was pink.”

Penelope looked almost pale on his doorstep, and it was that more than the late hour that worried Schneider. He stepped back to let her enter, brow furrowed as she continued.

“It’s funny how some things don’t change, you know? With Elena I was late, and then I threw up, and then I bought two pregnancy tests. And I told Victor, and he cried. And I cried, and it was just so much.”

“Okay…Pen, do you want to sit down?”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes filling. “But you should, maybe. Schneider, you should sit down.”

He tried to reach for her, his tone cautious when she shifted further away. “Hey. What’s going on?”

“I was late. And I got really sick last week, remember? We thought it was that street cart. But I waited until everyone was asleep, and peed on the stick, and two minutes later…it was pink.”

Penelope turned her back on the foyer, unable to watch his reaction when she finished. “I’m pregnant.”

The silence stretched out between them in Schneider’s big, tidy apartment.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

She wrapped her arms around her torso, still staring toward the kitchen. “Well, I haven’t gone to a doctor yet, but it’s so much like it was with Elena and Alex. Yeah, I’m sure.”

Penelope heard him get up, and hunched in on herself a little.

Instead of coming to stand in front of her, Schneider stopped at her back. He curled his arms around her and pulled her against him.

He kissed the top of her head as she started to cry.

“How are you doing? Are you feeling okay?”

“That’s…that’s your first question?”

“You know I love you, Penelope Alvarez. What else am I supposed to care about?”

“Don’t…” She sniffled. “Don’t you want to know what I’m going to do?”

“Of course.” Schneider ran his hands along her forearms, trying to soothe. “That can wait. Are you still throwing up?”

She let out a weak laugh. “It’s not a one-time thing, Schneider. I’m okay, but yes, I’m still throwing up. In the afternoons, mostly.”

“Why do they call it morning sickness if it happens in the afternoon?”

“Propaganda. I don’t know.” Penelope exhaled, the air shuddering out of her–half exhausted, half relieved.

“Do you want some water?”

“No, I’m good.”

She turned, letting Schneider’s hands link behind her neck as he peered down at her.

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, she realized. He could barely see her. She leaned closer, until he stopped squinting.

“I’m really good.”

Penelope’s laugh was more surprised than pleased. Once she realized how she felt, it was kind of shocking, actually.

“I’m…happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not ready for this, and I wasn’t expecting it…we were so careful, you know? It shouldn’t even be possible.” 

“But you’re happy about it?”

She stepped back and waited while he put his glasses on, smiling at him once she knew he would see it. “I think I am. As weird as that is.”

Schneider’s brow had that deep furrow in it, and Penelope realized she was calming down enough to think clearly again.  

“So, what about you?”

He tilted his head. “What about me?”

“Come on, Schneider. I’ve had way longer to consider this might be happening. I just threw it at you. How are you? What are you thinking? Talk to me.”

“I’m...” He paused, taking the question seriously. “I’m glad that you’re happy about it.”

“Okay, but that’s not really your feelings. That’s still about me.” Schneider was good with babies--even better with kids; his avoidance was starting to worry her. 

They’d had the talk about being exclusive, and they’d had lots of talks since about their shared future. About how it would look, about dreams and feelings and money.  

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

They had never discussed kids because Schneider knew she didn’t want more, and Penelope knew he knew that. They’d used protection and they were in their forties and this wasn’t supposed to happen.

Ay Dios mio, this wasn’t supposed to happen. What if he was upset about it? Above all else, Schneider would never want to hurt her, even by being honest.

“Hey. Come here.”

Penelope slid her fingers through his, holding on and looking up at him.

“However you feel, you know it’s okay, right? We did not plan for this to happen. Hell, I didn’t know how I felt until you and I were already talking about it.”

Schneider closed the distance between them to bury his face in her hair and stay there for a moment. She heard him inhale deeply before he spoke.

“I’m really glad you’re happy about it, Pen, because I’m happy too. And if you weren’t, I wouldn’t want you to feel like you had to be or anything.”

“Yeah, I get that. You’re happy, too?” 

Penelope pulled back enough to look his way, and realized he was crying. “Oh my god, you are. For a guy who’s so happy he’s dripping in my hair right now...why do you sound sad?”

‘M not sad.” He nuzzled up against her again and breathed her in.

“Concerned? Irritated? Give me a hint, ‘cause you and I are about be parents. Both of us. Together. Communication really helps with the whole raising a tiny human thing.”

Kissing the top of her head, Schneider moved to sit and drew her with him. “Concerned. Terrified. Mostly...worried. If you were all this kid had, it would turn out perfect, because your kids are perfect.”

“Okay...”

“I’m a different story, that’s all. I never planned on being a dad, and not because I don’t want to be. You know I love kids.”

She sighed and shifted so that she was curled into him on the couch, her back resting against his chest. “I do know that.”

“But let’s be realistic, okay? With my family history, my addiction history, my inability to hang onto a job...”

Schneider splayed his fingers over her stomach, rubbing lightly as he continued. “This baby deserves so much better than me, as its father.”

God, she should have seen this coming from miles away, Penelope realized. She’d been too panicked, then too focused on what came next, to really think about it. But of course this was where Schneider would go. She knew his nightmares as intimately as he knew hers. 

Hers: clowns and armed combat. His: spiders and rejection.

Turning around to face him, scooting back so their knees were touching on the couch, Penelope sighed. “You’re right. We should be realistic.”

He nodded.

“Private adoption is probably our best option,” she continued. “Obviously I have a lot of relatives we could choose from, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea. Not when the whole problem is probably hereditary.”

“Huh?”

“But the good news is that with your money, you can afford, like, the most talented lawyers, and we’ll make sure I have excellent prenatal care, so our baby goes to only the very best family. Right?”

“Right. I mean, no. Wait. Penelope! What??”

“What? I agreed that we should be realistic. And not just about you--you’re talking to someone with depression and PTS. So you’re right, there’s definitely a woman out there who would make a way better mom than I could. More stable.”

“Hey, now.” Schneider frowned and reached out for her hands. “Having PTS or depression doesn’t mean you’re undeserving or that you won’t be an amazing mom to that baby and oh my god I see what kind of a Jedi trick you’re trying to pull on me there.”

With a fond hint of a smile, Penelope mimed the exploding-brain gesture at him that he was so fond of. “Blew your mind, yeah?”

“Maybe I just feel like arguing with a pregnant lady is a dick move,” he replied.

“Nah, I totally won the argument.” 

Lifting one of his hands up and turning it over, Penelope kissed his palm. “I have almost two decades of experience now, Schneider. And I am telling you, you’ve got what it takes to be a great father.”

She saw the moment when the thought struck him, watched it bloom over his face into a huge grin. 

“Penelope. The baby--our baby,” he corrected himself softly. “We’re going to be able to give it everything it needs. Everything it wants! And all the love it deserves. It’s going to just...” 

Schneider teared up again and she took the opportunity to move in for a hug. “It’s going to be the luckiest baby ever,” she agreed. “And super cute, obviously.”

“But it’s not gonna get spoiled,” she rushed to add. “You hear me, Schneider? No thousand dollar strollers or designer baby clothes it’ll throw up on in five minutes, no round-the-clock nannies. We don’t need it, the baby won’t be better off because of it. No child of mine is going to grow up not knowing the value of money or hard work, or what the real world is like.”

“I hear you.” Still grinning, Schneider kissed her, his mouth gliding over hers.

“I’m not kidding,” Penelope leaned back to say, jabbing a finger at his pajama-clad chest. “You don’t get to throw your money at every minor inconvenience, or sneak tips to people to smooth the way like that’s normal.”

His hand rubbed at the tension in the nape of her neck while he moved his mouth to her cheek. “Got it. Dial down the overtipping.”

“And if you think you can get around me with kisses and charm, think again, alright? This is important, Schnei---”

His name transformed into a moan when his lips found the pulse point behind her ear.

“Damn it, Schneider, you can’t...well, fuck.” His teeth grazed her neck and she melted against him, her fingers gripping his against her stomach. 

His quiet laugh was wicked before he followed his teeth with the soft brush of his mouth. “Y’know, Pen, that’s really very inappropriate language for a mother-to-be.”

“The baby doesn’t even have ears yet,” she reminded him, “so come here.” She used her free hand to bring Schneider’s face back to hers, kissing him until they had to break apart for air.

He rested his forehead against hers. “Can you stay?”

“Normally I would say no, you know how my Mami is. But I think that just this once, when I head home with the news...she’s going to have other things on her mind.”

Penelope grinned against his mouth between kisses, quick and bright. “Let’s go to bed.”

“You know,” Schneider said as he stood and reached for her hand, “this will sort of be our first night as a family. I’m glad we get to spend it together.”

“I’m happy to be here too.” She squeezed his hand. “But you should really know better than that.” 

Stopping in his bedroom doorway, Penelope stood on her toes to kiss him, sweet and slow. “Schneider...we've been family for years.”