#you do you thats fine but like. if it ain't hurting YOU move tf on and let others live. you don't know their reasons or needs

[batsinurbelfrey]

Having a post that breached containment with a funny haha joke about Grammarly truly has reminded me that this is the "no fucking nuance" site, and also how while MY circles on here are all people my age, there are def still like, teens here.

Like bro if u don't wanna use a service fine, but lets be SO for real about whats realistic and whats not tho pitch a fit about in the current world we live in. What things are useless to "protest" other than to virtue signal, what hypocrisy it is to take certain stances and then use other services that do the SAME shit. Im not saying anyone HAS to use Grammarly, but the biggest thing I've been getting ppl in my notes and inbox about is "you know Grammarly uses your input to train AI models right?" or even "why the fuck are you using Grammarly do you not even care about writers rights?" [the audacity of some ppl, Yes ofc I do, 3 clicks to my profile could show you I'm an artist for a living and very anti AI lol] and its like, ok? are you aware the site you are typing into RIGHT NOW to harass me ALSO DOES THAT???? LMAO. like fine you want to play the protest game? get off tumblr, get off twitter, get off google docs, get off nearly every free web-hosted service at this point. its also such a weird one to choose to put your foot down on. I suppose many people choose it to get their panties in a twist over because it probably feels "more actionable" to them as a "luxury" [i.e. "I cant give up tumblr! all my friends live in there! but a spelling and grammar checking app? sure I'll dump that" and like. good for you? but its kind of a privileged take. Not to go all "god that's such a tumblr take" on this but I use Grammarly for DISABILITY ACCESSIBILITY. I use it because I have tremors and type like ass and having the easy pop up text replacements are a huge help for my typing speed [a thing you need to be p good at for most desk jobs these days], I use it because I grew up with multiple learning disabilities in a low-income school that couldn't give me extra help or time and thus, I never really LEARNED good spelling or grammar, like at all. I NEED the help because sometimes I genuinely don't KNOW I'm breaking a grammar rule or the word I typed out isn't even CLOSE to right, and again. those are things that are CRUCIAL to not fuck up in a modern-day corporate workplace. I can be as smart as ever and great at my job but if I write my communications in a way that makes me look uneducated, people are going to make assumptions about me, and its going to deadlock my career progression, and with that comes a lack of access to keeping up with having a living wage etc etc. I'm not saying anyone HAS to use Grammarly , do whatever you wanna do man, but for FUCKS sake extend the same kindness to others. Stop calling in the firing squad for even the smallest "infraction" to your own personal beliefs. because AGAIN, my "feeding" Grammarly so that I might be able to have an access tool to make my life more manageable is no different than you "feeding" ai by typing ur posts here or anywhere else on the web Certain things are just facts of life now, we've lost the ability to really stop them as an individual, and sure, we SHOULD organize to try to make change as a collective. but yall are really giving "blame the one person who occasionally uses a plastic straw for all of global warming instead of going after the mega-corporations truly at fault" energy is its obnoxious as all get out

[pokefanbri]

Im still fucking fighting, i keep telling myself im not gonna let go & Fuck everyone else who thinks I should. But sometimes there's the opposite, im just lost & idk what to do....hes not gonna come back...so why should I bother to keep fighting 😔 If someone asks me...

Are they worth it? Absolutely. Because theres always room for improvement & growth, & we've been doing that apart for ourselves now for 7months. Did they give u the respect and attention u deserved? Are we not more valuable than that? Hell no & hell yes lol. Look I was happy just doing that for him but yea when it came to me honestly it was like nah im good 😒 & i know how fucked up it is that id go along with his selfishness but I did. I did deserve better & he knows I did... i just didnt wanna lose him & did anything he needed me for... but I ended up losing him anyway 😔 theres a reason why u work on that kinda shit & grow together as you go so everyone is happy, its fair to say we both lost sight...I was eager to learn everything about him cuz I wanted to be closer...but I was blocked out & pushed away, he wouldn't open up & talk to me or show feelings for anything, even of me when he used to all the time...like he was scared of being too attached or didnt want to get hurt..he didnt trust me or was afraid to show his true self or show any emotion that'd be viewed as weak due to the typical be a man complex. Idk I was confused & didnt know what was needed to help fix things so yea i walked on eggshells & me showing affection of my own free will was out of the question most of the time...I couldn't touch him unless he wanted me to & rare occurrences for my own satisfaction. Its the reason why I cried all the damn time, I felt avoided & unwanted because my own attention lacked pretty badly. How tf do I love a fucknugget bobblehead like that lmao, cuz I dont give 2 flying fucks he was my man ok! & being close enough to him made me happy enough I guess, I still looked at him like he was my world even if I wanted to slap him for making me feel so lonely at the same time. I admit his needs came b4 mine, he liked it more that way & I took care of him more than I did myself. But if he had more effort to take care of my needs in turn & I were happier than I was, & us happy at the same time, then maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself...cry all the time & smoke like a chimney 🙁

I still don't fully understand why he held back, communicating with me on a deeper level is supposed to be natural & pretty much all normal couples show an appropriate amount of affection & understanding to eachother....but it was kept burried...was he afraid id hate him, judge him, make fun? No, id love him even more! Idc how dark he may think he is or whatever past bs he's gone through or even if he was lying about anything...its okay it can't hurt u anymore dear & we can overcome it just tell me what it is thats lacking & let's fix this. Id say "sit down babe, tell me everything, whats on your mind, what can I do to help 😊" & id give him the most gentle kiss on the forehead. I'd do anything to see a smile from that face & it makes me smile too. I want to help him, he needs somebody to hold just as much as I do cuz the fact of the matter is babe, he's just as broken as I am, we both need someone to put back our pieces & become whole again...after we try doing it solo it can only go so far b4 u want that physical presence of another again to help u more so. He keeps everything bottled up & especially didnt let me see what was happening to him I had no clue, if he didnt like talking to anyone he at least had me but still kept me away from him, whatever it was festered in him & he changed his whole demeanor toward me, he became colder & shut me out for good 😔 Making me feel even more unwanted. We didnt help eachother through our problems & I really wanted to, I wanted to save us for the longest time way b4 the end. Idk maybe if he put in as much effort & we knew how to function better together instead of a Corolla with just 2 wheels then we'd probably be fine...& our suspension wouldn't be dragging on the asphalt 😂 Its not all on him for fault, I take equal amount of responsibility, we failed eachother, we didn't know wtf we were doing & 9/10 it was just friends with benefits with only 1 of us in love & attached, & the other not really caring with side pieces to chat with 🤷‍♀️

U know what 🤬 They're right, he's right, & now I'm actually starting to accept it the more I write. Maybe just maybe,HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME AT ALL. Im still upset and frustrated. To answer the question again from earlier no maybe he's not worth it. I suffered through his bs and 10fold heartbreak afterward!! If he can't own up, right his wrongs & bring us both peace then no he's not worth suffering for afterall, and ive been loving the wrong soul this whole damn time 😣 He kicked me to the curb cuz he a fucking coward! He cant admit his wrongdoings, ask for forgiveness, say im sorry or actually put the tiniest bit of effort into a relationship to make it work, but instead disposes of me so he wouldn't have to confront any of it & just continue on like nothing happened are fucking kidding me!!?? I thought u were smarter than this, its beneath you to just run away & pretend I never mattered to you when we both know I did!!!....& im crying again. Im still feeling the betrayal apparently, ill never be able to trust him fully again anyway, let alone other men now. I dont hate you, I love you very much. But I hate the evil from you that you've shown me. I should've known honestly, I was naive to see all types of disrespect but this was the worst part. I still love him but i do deserve better than that & I hope he's changed his ways. Trust a guy with a high track record of ladies & a handful of em in their hand..what u think 🤔 can trust be gained back? Can I get over the bad uncalled for lying shit he's said about me to other women to make himself look better? Idk 🤷‍♀️ I haven't been able to rest without closure for so long, but enough is enough im making my own. You're absolutely right, you'd just manipulate me further, I thought maybe we could be better than before...round 2 at some point in the future...but maybe we're not salvageable after all. Thats up to u, I did everything I could, but now if u were to ever come back idk if I'd jump into your arms or slam the door in your face, I just dont know. Its better that I try never speaking of u again, or think of you for as long as I can so that I can heal better....cuz loving you even after the fact is tearing me apart & making me lose focus on what matters more, myself. I fought valiantly as long as I could, 7 months is a long time to not shut up about u lol.. maybe you've been hearing me I wouldn't know. I have to force it or ill never be able to, ill still silently grieve but as much as it hurts, Its time. U were my rock, an asshole but a good one, the best gamer I got to know, a boss at alot of things, with the cutest lil butt, & somehow the love of my life. Other than maybe something valentines or anniv related in Feb ofcourse....Ur getting what u wanted, I have to do whats best for me now, I have to let u go. I held on for so long but Im really tired & emotionally drained, im just torturing myself when i need to stop, im defeated, nobody won anything, everyone got hurt in 2020 why should our relationship be any different, id say we gave it our all be we both know we didnt. This hurts me so much to do, like my heart is breaking again. Bye babe, I love you with all my heart. 💋�� 💟

I tried to do what I could but if he left, I just gotta try to move on. If I take him back, I gotta consider how that's gonna look like & if I really got past the damage he did....obviously theres some I still haven't 😔 Its what im telling myself while trying to move past this. Others going through the same...We're in love and they ain't. We can't control their actions but we can control our actions. Im not a toxic person..only to myself, I love with all my heart, nobody bothers to understand...they just judge