#you directly control the content you watch so if you don’t like you ca literally turn it off

[phatcatphergus]

Why are you so up in arms about some people not being comfortable with a (rather edgy and potentially offensive) joke? The posts I've seen are just talking about how the casual homophobia whenever Tubbo is around makes them not want to watch any streams that Tubbo is showing up on.

I understand that you don't find these jokes offensive or harmful, at least in comparison to some of the other rp that has been done on the server (and I am genuinely very glad for it!! I hope they never become so), but different people have had different experiences, and to some people homophobia will be genuinely more upsetting than themes of self harm, to name an example you used.

It feels very shitty to see you and some other tubblings vehemently defend these jokes, as it can be extremely jarring to go from enjoying happy gay roleplay to homophobic jokes (yes, even from an openly gay man, the mouthpiece doesn't make the content less jarring).

So I guess I'm still wondering, why? I get being defensive of your streamer, but I guess I'm struggling to reconcile the "queer-smp" with people invalidating others' experiences with, and reactions to, homophobia

Okay well the main thing is that it’s really not that deep. Don’t like the jokes don’t watch, log off, touch grass ect.

People can be upset about whatever they want, but to say that the admin team, his fellow streamers and his community need to “talk to him” about it is insanity. The jokes themselves aren’t even something that isn’t already said in queer spaces irl (again go outside) and the fact that people are so up in arms about their picture perfect straight men playing make believe they’re in a gay relationship and having one actually gay man say “I hate happy couples” is insane.

Really, it’s shows how little the space cares for real queer people and relationships that don’t adhere to their internet filled fantasies of gay people.

At the end of the day, it’s a gay man joking about his own experiences and to get upset about it is fine. But don’t write emails telling him he’s inciting hate crimes, don’t tell the admin team to “talk to him” (ableism and infantilism much), and don’t try to get him cancelled for making jokes that YOU yourself don’t like.

If you don’t like a gay man making mildly homophobic jokes (something he has experienced!!!) but are okay with two straight men playing a gay couple and getting paid for it only to log off and not deal with any irl consequences then you’ve lost the plot I’m sorry.

[googledocsdyke]

Do you have any thoughts/recommended texts for Cas analysis? I genuinely love the dean gender studies and I just wanna know what people might apply to Cas.

yes absolutely!! while dean studies is my first love i also deeply love cas analysis (casnalysis?) and wanna strive to do more of it. here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

1. gender, sexuality, heavenly embodiment

this is much more theological and less psychological than dean’s whole Deal because there’s so much fascinating stuff around how the angels in general experience express and conceptualise gender (@autisticandroids has a good post about angel gender & lily sunder has some regrets) but for cas in particular there’s this fascinating kind of collective fandom agreement (which i DO also agree with) that cas’ own gender kind of is gay man, that he actively chose gay manhood, but also that he’s kind of..... lacking the Insane Genderishness that dean exhibits at all times, even though he actively chose to engage in male gendering and became so comfortable housed Within Jimmy that he, as some post i saw the other day that i can’t find anymore said, “became his own body” when jimmy died. 

like on the one hand there’s an almost-canonical transness to the whole process but it also never feels fully written-into because 1) the supernatural writers for all their insanity are sometimes very boring and *most* of the time only feel interested in narratively expressing angels As Their Vessels anyways and just like leaving convenient spaces around these questions (boldest thing they ever did was hot girl cas which i WISH i had the range to unpack) 2) there’s a vague inevitabilist shrug to the whole thing since they obviously weren’t gonna recast misha collins (though they HAVE tried to get rid of him) and 3) something amorphous about cas’ entire..... personhood? makes him Empty Of Gender as a contrast to dean’s Full Of Gender (i believe it was @deanwinchestergender who said this) and like is it just the juxtaposition to dean/jensen’s whole insane Deal? or something else? 

like he actively chooses the terms of his own embodiment and yet narratively it feels like a shrug. and we’re all like “well obviously even though he’s a celestial being he was always a gay man” and like WHY. i love it idk idk much to think about! and yeah just in general the theological questions of possession and cas genuinely Becoming a man as he iterates himself consciously towards humanity it almost feels like. by doing the most boring things possible with his gender they made it interesting? idk if that makes sense.

2. discipline, free will, metanarratives

cas is like a tool (“i am not a hammer, as you say”) held in constant discipline and surveillance by the system that enmeshes him and it’s really, really fascinating to watch the way the angels hold each other to conformity. especially pre-god they kind of produce each other as foucauldian disciplinary subjects (which i posted about here) in perpetual visibility through angel radio, generating their own and each other’s conformity rather than being directly ruled through like a single centralised source of power. only the spectre of a god. and obviously cas’ whole thing is that he has ALWAYS disobeyed and the narrative affords him this psychological interiority never given to the foucauldian subject, an internal will and desire for freedom in a way that fits more with the liberal subject (super roughly and not with the same pro-capitalist implications but he has this internal drive for self-liberation. 

and that’s also where the metanarrative comes in ofc! i think it was @dykecas who said that cas is a real person written by people who hate him, and there’s this crack in the narrative (mirroring the crack in his chassis) where cas gets in, over and over, despite all the order imposed by the show’s authorfathergod. like we’ve all seen the analysis about how it was Never supposed to be this way they DID try to fire misha collins in 2012 and yet this gay man literally cannot be stopped! i think actually his appearance in scoobynatural is a neat little distillation of this — he drops into this animated world originally with a singular purpose (Save Sam And Dean) the same way he dropped into lazarus rising with a single 3-episode arc (Save Dean). huge hammer behaviour. his “utility” diminishes within the narrative (he finds that he can’t fly in the scooby doo universe) and so he is no longer a tool/means to an end that salvation moves Through. and in the process (and huge creds to @lesbianyuugi for this) he does something ENTIRELY unrelated to his original cas-as-tool aim, and learns, like, the meaning of laughter from shaggy and scooby. WHICH brings me onto the third point

3. love, queer kinship, family-making

HE’S GAY AND HE’S A DAD! i feel like a lot of tumblr throws around the term “found family” in a very flat and tropey way (which is fine it’s cute and fun no matter what!) but like . GOD there’s so much specific stuff going on here. like the way that cas (unintentionally) obliterates the midwestern white christian nuclear family (made incarnate in the novaks) which like could be uniformly portrayed as an act of deep malice and villainy but instead grows to serve as a surrogate (if imperfect/complex, but DEEPLY loving) father figure for the gay daughter who has now escaped that nuclear family/seen it destroyed depending on how you read it? like he remasters the entire concept of fatherhood and it’s a very interesting (if DEEPLY) unintentional subversion of the homewrecking non-nuclear gay trope. cas is so good because his character arc doesn’t say “look, gay people can be normal and have perfect settled families just like you” it says “gay people DON’T have normal settled families actually and they are full of love anyways! or Because of the abnormalcy itself!) 

to cite ziz lesbianyuugi again he DOES queer fatherhood in his parenting of jack particularly because it really is one of the ONLY parent-child relationships in the show that breaks the incessant cycle of abuse and control and cold indifference perpetuated by the authorfathergod (a cycle reified in 15x20 lol). like god’s treatment of cas and his siblings mirrors john’s treatment of sam and dean (particularly dean) mirrors victor’s treatment of krissy and her crew mirrors dean’s later treatment of jack. there is a CONSTANT reiteration of the story of authorfathergod (often a father tightly entwined in biological kinship) treating a child as a mechanism or a tool or a means to an end. and cas looks at ALL that he has suffered and all that he is ever known and chooses constantly to reject it with every piece of love he expresses for his child. and not to sound like the kind of academic people make fun of on twitter but there is an INHERENT queerness to that. gay love will pierce through [the veil of death/the thick silence of abuse/the mechanism of godly control/hegemonic american masculinity] and save the day

anyways here are some very haphazard recs on everything above for further reading:

angels in america (tony kushner)

histrionics of the pulpit: trans tonalities of religious enthusiasm

the public universal friend: religious enthusiasm in revolutionary america

discipline and punish (michel foucault)

friendship as a way of life (michel foucault)

the genesis of blame (recommended by @pietacastiel who has GREAT theology content in general

all about love (bell hooks)

the chapter “when hated characters talk back” in anti-fandom: dislike and hate in the digital age (is actually explicitly about cas)

also cannot recommend enough following the ppl i tagged above!! most of the unlinked stuff is available through http://libgen.li/ and bookshop is a good alternative to amazon if ur american and want physical copies

[mittensmorgul]

I feel like I should be posting more original content. I’ve been here for so long, posting original content analyzing every detail of this show, and posting literally millions of words on the subject, and the show has gone and done exactly the thing I’ve been writing about, confirmed in text that the story I’ve been watching in the subtext is really the story they were telling all along.

And I could be posting gleefully about the beauty of the most intense metanarrative, the absolute bananapants layers of meta in any piece of media I’ve ever consumed in my 46 years. From the self-referential and universe-bending plotlines to just how deeply embedded ALL of this has become as the central core narrative of the final season, as the characters grapple with what is even real when they’ve been characters in a story beyond their control or understanding for so long only to come so close to earning their freedom and “becoming real” by using their OWN words and declaring for themselves their truth and their happiness and their love.

It’s... mind boggling that everything I’ve ever written about this show is coming back around in a final grand swoop of the narrative arcs that I honestly don’t know what else I can do aside from waving one hand at canon and inviting everyone to just read the entirety of this stupid blog while looking smugly satisfied with myself.

It’s about love. The whole story is, was, and always will be about love. And not just destiel, but the whole damn show. The character of Dean Winchester, for all the jokes about being emotionally constipated, is essentially the embodiment of selfless love and has been since the start of the show. But because of the story itself, he had to become hardened to it, to accept that it wasn’t something he could have for himself if he lived the life he did. And yet he never let that destroy him, despite now understanding that that’s exactly what Chuck spent the last 15 years (and really the entirety of Dean’s life) attempting to do-- to break him for the sake of the story.

Cas’s confession in 15.18 wasn’t just about how Cas loves Dean, but why. Cas, the only version of Castiel in any of Chuck’s infinite universes who broke free of Heaven’s command, did so because of the love he saw in this selfless but self-hating man. Years of crack posts about Dean breaking angels cannot even begin to touch how deep this goes.

One line in Cas’s monologue about Dean thinking of himself as “daddy’s blunt instrument” was a line from season THREE, before Cas ever even MET Dean Winchester and began to know him. It was a phrase that had never been spoken aloud in reality. It happened literally inside Dean’s dream, where he knew he was doomed to go to hell and was confronted by the demon version of himself. Dean said this line TO HIMSELF, IN A DREAM, TWELVE SEASONS AGO. And then yelled down that demon-dream version of himself with this:

DREAM DEAN: Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?

DEAN: Son of a bitch!

DEAN pushes DREAM DEAN hard, knocking him into the wall above the desk.

DEAN: (screaming angrily) My father was an obsessed bastard!

DREAM DEAN tries to get up and DEAN kicks him down on the desk again. DEAN holds the weapon as a bat and hits DREAM DEAN once and then pins him to the wall with it.

DEAN: All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He-

DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.

DEAN: He's the one who let Mom die. who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

DEAN shoots DREAM DEAN twice in the chest. As he lowers the weapon and looking at DREAM DEAN, we see the latter is dead. Blood is splattered on DREAM DEAN's face and his eyes are closed.

--

And then after that, spoiler alert, he went to hell and Cas pulled him out.

Dean: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?  Castiel: Good things do happen, Dean. Dean: Not in my experience. Castiel: What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?

It took him YEARS to truly get past this. He didn’t really get to confront his own father until season 14, in a sort of “It’s A Wonderful Life” sort of episode where he could see what his life might’ve been like if things had turned out differently. And oh, Cas isn’t in his life. But he gets to confront John with his own self-acceptance, his own confidence in the life he’s made for himself and the people (including Cas) who have become his family. He gets to hear from John that he never wanted that life for Dean, and Dean gets to say, well I would choose this life anyway.

Until Chuck’s revelation pulled that rug out from under him. Dean had been-- if not deliriously happy, at least content with his life. Because it was HIS. And then he found out it wasn’t, that Chuck had always been writing the broad strokes of his life, had always been the one throwing catastrophe after apocalypse after cosmic crisis directly in his path because he wanted to watch Dean struggle to save the world yet again, and finally give him the ending to the story that Chuck wanted-- a broken and devastated Dean who’d sacrificed everything for the story yet again. And suddenly NOTHING about anything made sense to Dean anymore, and even Cas showing up in his life and then weirdly sticking around all these years was suspect to him. He trusted nothing, not his choices or his feelings or his own happiness.

But now? We know (and Dean knows) that Cas was one thing Chuck just couldn’t control. That he was never supposed to think for himself and rebel and fall in love with Dean. And Dean knows that too. He knows all of it. And ALL of that just went wooshing through Dean’s central processing unit in the span of two minutes and came up error messages, because it was too late now and Cas was gone again, and there might not be any getting him back this time.

So unless Dabb era has been entirely about destroying everything that was ever good about this show, and about their own storytelling, and the metanarrative and the subtext and the character arcs, making Dean and Cas’s relationship the main emotional arc of the entire season demands that Dean get a chance to answer to this.

If love is truly the ultimate weapon of their salvation, as the show has been screaming since s11, then Dean gets to keep Cas. Because anything less is failure at this point.

I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to many people in my inbox, but honestly I’m too tired to deal with anxiety over how the story will end. I only care about the story, and I’ve written more about it in the last howeverlong I’ve been at this than I can possibly reiterate before the next episode airs. All I can do is point and gawp at the fact that the story is what I have always thought it was, and be content.

Revenge of the Subtext, indeed.

[ourimpavidheroine]

You always post your writing soundtracks. Mind sharing your top ten albums with us?

I actually laughed when I read this because I’m thinking of the Anon who complained that all of my music was OLD. I mean. I’m old! What did you expect?

Never mind me, I’m easily amused. Thank you for using the word album so I would not feel like Lady Danbury with my lethal cane.

Yes, sure I can do that! I don’t know that these are my forever and ever amen top ten, but they are the ones that are coming to mind right now. So.

Under a cut, it’s long. 

In no particular order.

Brutal Youth - Elvis Costello

My ex-husband was in love with Elvis Costello and who could blame him? The man is a genius lyricist. This is not one of his more commercially popular albums but I love every single track. (I also lined up at Ticketmaster in Oakland, CA when the man was touring in order to get tickets for my ex. I got there at midnight and spent the night, meeting a group of drag queens who were getting tickets to see Barbara Streisand. God, that was a fun night, we ate donuts one of them went on a donut run for and sang showtunes for hours. One of my favorite memories.) This verse, from Clown Strike, is one that has resonated with me since I first heard it.

Tell me what you want of me Or are you terrified of failure? You put on a superstitious face Behind all this paraphernalia We're not living in a masquerade Where you only have three wishes It isn't easy to see In a lifetime of mistaken kisses

Unrepentant Geraldines - Tori Amos

I remember the first time I heard a Tori Amos song. It was the summer directly after I’d graduated from college, I was driving my ex-husband’s car and Silent All These Years came on the radio and I was just fucking gobsmacked. I bought Little Earthquakes that day and haven’t looked back. I have all her albums. I am a big, big fan.

Unrepentant Geraldines, though. God. It came out the year before my wife died and it got me through her death. The song Weatherman is about a man losing his wife, and how he sees her in the nature surrounding him. 

And. 

No, sorry, I can’t write more about this, not right now. But I sing it to her sometimes. 

He is not a weatherman But his bride lies with the land And she will whisper to him I'll be dressing up in snow Cloaked in echo it's almost As if only Nature knows How to paint his wife to life With every season's tone "One more look from her eyes One more look can you paint her back to life"

Ray of Light - Madonna

This album got me through my divorce from my ex-husband. I’d go out every single day during my lunch hour, this on my walkman, and walk and walk and walk until I got myself in enough control to go back and finish my work day. It’s a great album and I still listen to it a lot. It empowers me. And then my daughter was born and Ray of Light has always been her song to me, even though that wasn’t the song on the album that Madonna herself wrote for her daughter.

Faster than the speeding light she's flying Trying to remember where it all began She's got herself a little piece of heaven Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one And I feel like I just got home And I feel And I feel like I just got home And I feel

Seven and the Ragged Tiger - Duran Duran

This one was a difficult choice. For one thing, I really love their album Big Thing, which almost nobody’s heard about but one I love deeply. This one though...I think it’s the memories, including going to see them at the Oakland Coliseum with my cousin during their tour for this album and finding out they were partially filming the video for The Reflex that night. I like to think of us as being one of those girls in the audience. (Although I wasn’t screaming. I am a Capricorn. Have some dignity.) Duran Duran were responsible for my first fanfic and I’ve had a love for them since my Dad bought me their first album for my 13th birthday. I am nothing if not loyal. I have all of their early albums, all of their 12″ singles, too, including Secret Oktober, which I have always loved with a passion.

Also, Roger Taylor can still get it.

Freefall on a windy morning shore nothing but a fading track of footsteps Could prove that you never been there Spoken on a cotton cloud like the sound of gunshot taken by the wind And lost in distant thunder racing on a shining plain And tomorrow you'll be content to watch as the lightning plays along the wires and you'll wonder

Touch - Eurythmics

Another band I still love and listen to on the regular. Annie Lennox could sing me the telephone book and I’d be thrilled. Seeing her at age 14 in the Sweet Dreams video for the first time in my Grandmother’s living room quite literally woke something in me that led to moving across the world for a woman years later. (GOD.) I have all of their albums and choosing a favorite is difficult but this one won by a narrow margin, if only for the song Regrets, which is one of the songs that describes me until I became a mother, really. Like I RESONATED with that song. Still does in certain ways, if I am being truthful to myself.

I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I'm an electric wire And I'm stuck inside your head

Combat Rock - The Clash

Ah, teenage Impavid first understanding that music can also be political. Listen, I didn’t know much about what was going on outside of my own miniscule sphere - I was young and the internet didn’t exist yet. We got what news we got from our local paper and TV stations and they weren’t really reporting on what was happening in the world, not in 1982, let me fucking assure you. I got this album because my Dad was a part time DJ at a radio station that played mostly country music and the general manager of the station would just toss the rest of the non-country albums they’d get as promotions. My Dad would bring them home to me to listen to. You can imagine thirteen year old me listening to this album that opened with “This is a public service announcement - with guitars!” going WHAT THE FUCK? Let me just say there were a lot of trips to the library to read various newspapers after that.

Not to mention Rock the Casbah. What was a muezzin? I had no idea. I spent half a year reading books about Islam, about the Middle East and Northern Africa, which led to a curiosity about other religions beyond the Roman Catholicism in which I’d been raised, about other cultures as well. This album and The Color Purple by Alice Walker were the two things in my teen years that woke me the fuck up.

Now the king told the boogie men You have to let that raga drop The oil down the desert way Has been shakin' to the top The sheik he drove his Cadillac He went a' cruisin' down the ville The muezzin was a' standing On the radiator grille

Synchronicity - The Police

This fucking album. This fucking album. This album reached deep down into me and pulled out my soul and kicked it around for awhile. Every single song on this album hit me like a brick wall. Still does. Most likely always will.

Listen, you either like King of Pain or you live it. There’s no in between.

There's a little black spot on the sun today It's the same old thing as yesterday There's a black hat caught in a high tree top There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop I have stood here before inside the pouring rain With the world turning circles running 'round my brain. I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign, But it's my destiny to be the king of pain...

Sign O’ The Times - Prince 

The soundtrack to my University days. Jesus, it starts out with “In France a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name,” and it just keeps going. Pain, sex, wonder, glory, politics, love. It’s all there. I wore the vinyl out on this one. Amazing, amazing album. In fact, I still play it so often my kids practically know it by heart, and they don’t even like Prince!

To this day I think If I Was Your Girlfriend is the sexiest song ever written.

I will tell you this much: Sayuri’s main writing soundtrack song is Starfish and Coffee off the album, the same song I used to sing my kids as a lullaby. This should tell you a lot about her.

Cynthia wore the prettiest dress With different color socks Sometimes I wondered if the mates where in her lunchbox Me and Lucy opened it when Cynthia wasn't around Lucy cried, I almost died, U know what we found? Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam Butterscotch clouds, a tangerine And a side order of ham If U set your mind free, honey Maybe you'd understand Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam

Nina Simone Sings The Blues - Nina Simone

This was one of my Daddy’s albums. He loved it and so did I. As a child I just loved the sound of her voice - something in it both soothed me and pulled at me, made me want to run and just keep running. She still makes me feel like that. If you don’t know Nina Simone I urge you to change that, right now. There’s nobody at all like her. She’s irreplaceable. All of her material is good, not just her blues songs. Not to mention, she was an absolute brilliant genius at the piano, never mind the strength she had as a Black woman in a time when doors were shut in her face on a daily basis. Seriously. Read about her.

When I became a woman, of course, her songs took on a much deeper meaning for me, one that I could relate to. Isn’t that the hallmark of a good album, though? One that stays with you and changes with you? I think so.

If you’ve never heard her cover of I Put A Spell On You then do yourself a favor and go right now and listen. You’re welcome.

Oh and Buck from this album? Nuo to Wing, right there.

Also one of the sexiest songs ever written, this one. Especially how she sings it. The Hot Frenchman (have I ever told you about The Hot Frenchman? no? OH BOY THERE’S A STORY) told me he thought it was about drugs and I was like, honey, this tells me a whole lot about you, more than you probably wanted it to.

I want a little sugar In my bowl I want a little sweetness Down in my soul I could stand some lovin' Oh so bad I feel so funny and I feel so sad I want a little steam On my clothes Maybe I can fix things up So they'll go Whatsa matter Daddy Come on, save my soul I need some sugar in my bowl I ain't foolin' I want some sugar in my bowl

I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinéad O’Connor

This is a beautiful album, full of pain and joy, her hallmark. She sings every single word with everything in her; she’s far too intense for many, many people (and while she’s been open with her mental health struggles I’ve often wondered if she isn’t somewhere on the spectrum as well) but never for me. Her raw honesty has always appealed to me. She’s political, she’s a lover, a mother, a survivor of horrific abuse, someone who keeps reinventing herself as a way to find her way through pain. I always feel, when I am listening to her music, that I am bearing witness. I’m not afraid of pain; I’ve survived it as well. This album, one of her oldest, is still my favorite.

The line “You used to hold my hand when the plane took off” is the most evocative lyric I have ever heard with regards to the ending of love. It’s a punch to the heart - she felt it and she shared it with us, her fragile heart in her palms. Oh, Sinéad.

This is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody's office I'll talk but you won't listen to me I know what your answer will be I know you don't love me anymore You used to hold my hand when the plane took off Two years ago there just seemed so much more And I don't know what happened to our love

[orionsangel86]

12x10 - Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void - Part 2

This is the second part of my episode review for 12x10 “Lily Sunder has some Regrets”. The first part mainly focusses on Destiel and its HUGE role in the episode. You can go check that out first if you like here.

This part of my review is to talk about some of the other very interesting themes in the episode now that I have screeched about Destiel to my heart’s content and will try to be a more rational person (disclaimer: its not gonna work)

To be honest it is practically impossible for me to talk about this episode without at least referencing Destiel as the very principle theme of the episode is about angels and their interactions with humans in different ways specifically where love is involved. But whether you see Dean and Cas’s love for one another as romantic or platonic the one thing that absolutely cannot be argued away after this episode is that the love between them well and truly does exist in canon. Therefore sorry Jensen but you seem to be confusing Supernatural with another show when you make rash and ill-conceived statements at conventions to appease hateful non-fans. Ahem. Anyway, Moving on…

Angels and Obsession

The starting scene of the episode introduces us to Benjamin. In a bar decorated with vintage video game memorabilia the angel is obsessively playing a game that just makes me think of Charlie. :( Though tbh the symbolism behind an angel controlling an monster to destroy a city is certainly not lost on me and takes my mind right back to the apocalypse where the angels were the ‘monsters’ who wanted to kick start the apocalypse that would literally bring cities to the ground. So yeah, that was an interesting choice of video game basically.

The fact that Benjamin has been here every night obsessively playing this game gives us another interesting insight into angels. One that is explored quite thoroughly in this episode: They have an obsessive nature when it comes to human things.

This opening sequence therefore shows us the most harmless version of this. Benjamin has got himself hooked on video games. (kinda reminds me of Cas taking up Riverboat Gambling. I wonder if Cas ever still sneaks off when the Winchesters are on hunts to feed his gambling addiction? I know it hasn’t been mentioned since but it is certainly within the realms of canon possibility that Cas has an addictive personality, and now after this episode that has been applied to more angels than just Cas.)

I’m now thinking of Endverse!Cas and my heart is breaking because of course Castiel has an addictive personality. Oh and lets not forget 11x04 – 11x06 and Cas’s newfound obsession with Netflix. Human things are shown to be dangerous to angels.  Ishim says this himself later in the episode:

“You know why we’re meant to stay away from humans? It’s not because we’re a danger to them, they’re are a danger to us.”

The thing is, as much of a dick as Ishim was, he’s not wrong. Humans are a danger to angels because angels are not built to really understand human things and emotions. Benjamin’s obsessive gaming is just the start. He may be best case scenario, but Ishim is worst case scenario. An angel who becomes completely enthralled by a human and claims to have ‘fallen in love’ with her – though in Isham’s case it is doubtful he even understands the concept of love. Lily becomes Isham’s obsession. To the point that he terrifies her into calling on another angel to protect her from him.

“you were obsessed!” she cries.

“I was in love with you” he argues. But Ishim couldn’t have been in love with her, because as Dean (aka poster boy for humanity) shows us later on, love isn’t about causing your lover pain, it’s about being willing to risk yourself to save them from any further harm.

This is one of the very major points of the episode. Because Angels are not accustomed to deal with Human things, for an angel, love itself becomes the killer. Condemning both the angel and the object of the angel’s affection to a life of pain, tragedy and death. To bring this back to Dean and Cas, it can very easily be argued that much of what has happened to Castiel, and by association Dean, is because of Castiel’s ‘unrequited’ love for Dean. Thinking back over their long tragic history, if you remove that deep love that Castiel has felt for Dean since the beginning where would we be now? Would we have had the leviathans? Would the angels have the angel tablet? The angels probably wouldn’t have fallen, and much of Castiel’s guilt that came from that wouldn’t have happened. On the other hand if we had had canon destiel since the end of season 5, it can also be argued that much of what Dean and Cas and also Sam went through in seasons 6 and 7 wouldn’t have happened because they would have found another way to stop Raphael together. But this is all just speculation after all.

This episode does seem to imply that when the angels love is requited, things don’t go quite so terribly. Whatever kind of love it was that was shared between Lily and Akobel, it worked. He cared for her and gave his life protecting her. Not so much an obsession as a mutual respect and understanding. Then there is Benjamin and his vessel. Not an obsession but a shared trust and care for each other. A devotion that kept them both safe for many years.

So basically, we can conclude that when an angel has a supportive human by their side to help them through any potentially “obsessive” compulsions, it works out okay for both parties. If the angel is shunned and left to its own completely inhuman devices, it turns cold and monstrous. Gosh now this is making me think of that destiel comic where Cas becomes an actual ‘weeping angel’ from Doctor Who. Cold and monstrous indeed.

more under the cut...

Angels and Gender

This is a topic that has me so excited you have no idea how happy I am. Those of you that are regular followers of my blog know that I was going on about genderbend not that long ago. The fact that we get a CANON FEMALE CASTIEL IS AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER STOP GOING ON ABOUT IT.

But before I go on and on about that. Let me talk about this moment:

“Wait so Benjamin’s a woman?”

“Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman.”

I love that this point was drummed home and it was done so for several reasons. The first one is obviously the textual reason to put the situation straight with Sam and Dean. ‘Angels don’t have gender’ is the message here. Sam and Dean get it straight away. Say no more. However we can then start asking why the writer chose to put in this little discussion with our main characters. Why was it even necessary if Sam and Dean are not going to meet Castiel’s female vessel later on? The answer is to remind the viewer of this very same thing.

Because unfortunately Supernatural still has a lot of narrow minded viewers. It still has an appeal among the straight white dude bros of the American Midwest who watch it for Sam and Dean and their macho attitude and their guns. These are the kind of people who will go on to watch Cas have a female vessel in the past and just not get it one bit (and probably find a forum like reddit in which to moan about it). By having this exchange about Benjamin it is acting as a prior warning, reminding these narrow minded viewers that angels don’t have genders and therefore NEITHER DOES CASTIEL. So suck it up and accept it now because it is canon. 

There is also the fact that Castiel has now had this discussion directly with Dean, planting the idea back into Dean’s head that he himself is genderless. That gender and therefore sexuality mean nothing to Castiel. Dean is being reminded along with the audience that Castiel is in no way a “straight white guy in a trench coat”.

Anyway, now to the thing I desperately wanna talk about:

This beautiful angel right here:

I have an awful lot of feelings about female Castiel. Let me tell you. For a start, I keep thinking up scenarios where she can come visit the future or an alternate reality or ANTHING! I just want her to meet Dean and have him have to deal with BOTH Castiel’s in the same room… (because lets be honest we all know what Dean would be thinking… the same thing I am thinking. Lol)

Secondly, on a more meta related point. Castiel had a female vessel. Castiel himself, one of our main characters used to be a woman. (well, technically he is an angel and neither man nor woman but for arguments sake and for the sake of the less open minded CIS straight slightly right leaning audience member let’s just think of it this way for a moment.) This is different from doing it with other side characters. This is important. It is 100% impossible for anyone to argue that Castiel (one of our three main characters) is a CIS straight guy. Impossible. Because Castiel doesn’t have a gender, you cannot define his sexuality. He cannot be straight, because he is not a man who is attracted to women or vice versa. You cannot call him gay for the same reason. (this is of course different to a transgender person who has a defined gender and therefore defines their sexuality based on their gender). He physically does not have a gender, he has had both male and female vessels and is clearly not bothered by gender.

I’m not sure how well I am explaining this, but my point is to consider how this would look to the audience member I described above. The heteronormative audience member who looks at things like destiel and Dean’s bisexuality and goes “what? No way. Dean is straight. Cas is straight. Shut up.” Because they literally would have seen Castiel’s female vessel and had their brains freeze for a moment trying to understand it.

What things like introducing the idea of Cas with a female vessel does to a general audience member is get them thinking about things they would otherwise never consider. It is representation for anything other than the norm (which still is unfortunately the CIS straight white guy). A general audience member would see Cas with a female vessel and think what? Cas used to be a girl? Wow. Imagine if Cas had stayed a girl? How different would that make the show? Well if Cas was a girl she’d be into guys right? (because this meta assumes the G.A to be extremely heteronormative) Wait a sec, does that mean Cas would be into Dean? OMG… and then the cogs would start fitting into place. Basically, it’s a really good thing for us.

The show has done things like this before. I consider it all “testing the waters” personally. Jesse and Cesar from 11x19s “The Chitters” is a brilliant example of this. Because again, that audience member I described above is very likely to have a very narrow minded idea of what a gay or bisexual man would look like. They certainly wouldn’t look like Dean Winchester. So what does Supernatural do? It introduces us to a homosexual married couple who are the polar opposite of that stereotypical gay man as portrayed in mainstream media. Instead, we get a couple of gay/bisexual guys who are eerily similar to Dean Winchester in their macho gruff plaid wearing way and this would very much confuse the heteronormative G.A viewer.

So what we end up with is Supernatural pushing the boundaries of what its G.A viewer would expect. Castiel used to be a woman. Macho manly plaid wearing hunters can be happily gay married.  GOD can be bisexual and eat bacon. Now ask yourselves honestly. Would the show have even dared to do these things 6 years ago??

What does this tell us? Why on earth would Supernatural be pushing to defy these expectations? What is the show trying to say with this narrative?

Basically all I’m saying is keep a look out for anything in future episode that would “defy mainstream expectations”. Because in a show like Supernatural with such a long history, this kind of thing is unheard of. Unless it has a reason for wanting to try these things out of course…

Castiel’s emotional arc

I always seem to be going on about this in my meta’s. But GUYS it is SUCH a big deal right now. I SAID that Andrew Dabb would not let us down. I SAID that he would explore this further. I knew that it would get more screen time. I WAS RIGHT. Through this episode we get so much more to explore with Castiel (and that’s not including the female vessel and all the destiel goodness). Okay so starting at the beginning HOW AWESOME IS SASSY GRUMPY CAS? I love him so much. HASHTAG MARRIED AM I RIGHT?

How awesome is it that our wonderful Sam Winchester is sticking up for his friend/brother-in-law here? Because bless his heart Sam just gets it. What Cas did was no different to what Dean or Sam would have done. Dean is being unreasonable because he is super worried that his husband has put himself into horrible danger. Sam on the other hand, sees the situation for what it really is and fights Cas’s corner for him when he isn’t there to do it himself. And when Cas is there to fight himself? Oh Boy does he!

This episode gave us a Sam Winchester who truly cares for his friend. Bless Steve Yokey for really driving this point home throughout the episode. Sam and Dean BOTH care about Cas. Both LOVE him and both respect him, just in different ways. And FINALLY Cas is starting to see this. Especially because he overhears this conversation. He knows that Sam is fighting for him and then instead of getting upset or letting his depression sink its teeth in further, he fights alongside Sam.

“I WAS doing the right thing.” He says.

This is a Cas who is completely over being disrespected and will not take any shit from his silly husband anymore. He is standing up for himself and gives as good as he gets and this has been something we have seen more of this season (since Dabb took the reins). Less of the Cas who doesn’t understand human sayings and metaphors and more of a Cas who is showing just how much he has picked up from his stupid husband and can snap back with a remark just as witty, (I’m still snickering over the lumberjack comment from 12x07).

When we get to the bar Cas’s reaction to Benjamin’s burn marks is quite severe for him. He shows clear distress over it and snaps at the poor barman, breaking character while doing so. I have a question for anyone who wants to answer it: Is this the first time that Sam and Dean would have clearly seen the evidence of the angels wings burning? Have they seen burnt wing marks to this extent before? If not then this could be distressing for Castiel for several reasons. One is that his friend is dead, two is that the evidence of his friends death is crudely displayed on the wall, three is that those clearly burnt wing marks remind Castiel of his own burnt wings and four Dean and Sam and anyone else in the room are also able to gawp at the evidence of the angel fall (which Cas still blames himself for). Basically distressing all around. This shows us plainly that even though Cas is stronger and once again out and fighting the game (unlike in season 11), he is still clearly traumatised by his past.

I feel I need to quickly mention the angel blade here… I thought that it was just a headcanon found in fanfic that angel’s each had an individual blade that belonged to them? Connected to their grace somehow? Has the show ever confirmed this previously? Did I miss something? Or did Yokey just bring another fanfiction headcanon to life? Because suddenly my mind is flashing to “Path of the Fireflies” and if you have read that fic you would know why. This episode is the gift that keeps on giving.

So we should come to expect now that whenever Castiel is going to be interacting with other angels that they are gonna be super dicks to him, and this diner scene is no exception.

“You kept your vessels all this time”

“We are not careless”.

All this makes me think is that something happened to Cas’s previous vessel and I wanna know what now. The comment was definitely meant to insult so just what exactly happened to Cas’s previous vessel? Did she get harmed? Did he get expelled from her somehow? We know absolutely nothing about his vessels name (though the speculation that she is part of Jimmy Novaks bloodline makes solid sense). Though maybe Castiel just returned to heaven without his vessel because he didn’t feel like he needed her anymore, and returned her to her human life? Though remembering his reaction when Hannah chose to release Caroline kinda implies maybe he didn’t treat his former vessel that well. Its not like he treated Jimmy Novak all that well really is it? Its all just another load of guilt to pile on Castiel’s heavy shoulders.

This whole conversation is so extremely hostile too. Dragging things up that we haven’t had mentioned in the show in ages. Balthazar! Oh my gosh poor Cas we know he suffers horrendous guilt over that.

“Is he a hero? Is he a spanner in the works? I don’t know” Once again we are getting the same questions we have been getting over and over again. What are you Castiel? Once again. Castiel doesn’t answer directly. Also the line “Spanner in the works” is a massive call back to Naomi and this line: “You're the famous spanner in the works. Honestly, I think you came off the line with a crack in your chassis. You have never done what you were told. Not completely. You don't even die right, do you?”  and honestly now I am just screeching again because this is more hints that maybe Castiel was made different. What with the other themes of this episode I can’t help but relate this to the speculation about Castiel having a soul. He flinched when he heard the screams coming from the house as Ishim killed Lily’s child. He was never cold. I am still one of those who head canons that Chuck made Castiel different on purpose, and that Castiel has at least grown a soul since he was human if he didn’t already have the ability to grow one built in him.

“When I knew Castiel he was a soldier… a warrior… he was an angels angel… now look how far he’s fallen”. Seriously. Aside from the call back to 7x21 what on earth is an “angel’s angel” anyway? The reason for all of this talk of course is to get the audience thinking about exactly what Castiel is now. To get the characters questioning it. It all plays into his emotional development arc. Eventually, he will be able to stand up and say exactly what he is with certainty. But right now, we are still in major grey areas with Cas and his motivations.

“No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys” Whats funny about this line, is that Ishim just listed Castiel’s home. No he doesn’t have wings, but he doesn’t really need them, because he has his truck and the impala of course. His home is the bunker, as he has been referring to it as “home” since 10x23. That “ratty old coat” is Cas’s identity, his armour, and those “poorly trained monkeys” are his family. Ishim looks down on these things, but it is Ishim who will display jealousy towards Castiel in the end. Because Castiel has far more than Ishim has.

“I used to envy you Castiel do you believe that? You survived hell, you were chosen by God. Now look at you, you’re just sad, and pathetically weak.” We have heard lines like this from other angels over and over again relating to Castiel, but here we get an angel admitting that he envied Cas (as he still does). The “chosen by God” line is interesting bearing in mind it comes after we have had a rather disappointing few episodes with God in them that never resolved Cas’s issues with his father. At least the show is still reinforcing that this is the truth even if it wasn’t directly addressed at the time (which if my recollection is correct was due to too much story being shoved into the last few episodes – or at least so said several people including Jared).

Castiel’s speech to Lily at the end though is heartbreaking because this is Cas accepting that he is in the wrong. I have said before that there isn’t another character in this show who carries as much guilt as Cas (Sam being a close second) and this moment just heightens the depths of his humanity. His ability to admit his wrongs, to accept that he has caused pain and to also accept that perhaps that person won’t be able to spare him. To accept that if they feel the punishment is just, he will just kneel down and accept execution. THAT is how far the depths of his guilt go. He is sorry. He is so so fucking sorry for the pain he has caused, and not just Lily, but all of the guilt he carries for all his crimes.

After moments like this I just wanna scream at the haters who claim Cas is nothing but a fuck up who doesn’t care. HE CARES MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW. He is inherently so so fucking GOOD in his core and at times like this, after scenes like this, how is it possible to believe that Cas still doesn’t have a soul?

Honestly though it kills me that Cas still blames himself for crimes that I still think are totally heavens fault, or the fault of other angels. Cas has been manipulated at heaven throughout the entirety of his existence right up until only a few seasons ago, then they started torturing him whenever they got hold of him because they didn’t like that he turned his back on them. ARGH it makes me so MAD at heaven. This episode is yet further proof that heaven is nothing good and has nothing to give Castiel but pain. I honestly can’t see any other way that his story could go that to have him eventually turn his back on heaven for good. Not because he has been shunned by the angels, but because he chooses to shun them. Because he is better than them.

This is why I am convinced that his emotional arc will end with him accepting that the guilt he carries is not his alone to bare, that it is the responsibility of all of heaven and at that point, Castiel will be able to walk away. To admit that he was better than them all along. To realise that he deserves a life, a home, and most of all that he deserves love in every meaning of the word. Castiel will be able to free himself of that guilt and say farewell to heaven, instead accepting a human life, to reflect his own humanity, and find happiness in that.

Lily Sunder

I just need to point out that I love this character. Supernatural does enjoy giving us red headed ladies! So the first thing I noticed about Lily Sunder was how she reminded me of our very own Charlie. Probably because of this:

Also because the game themed bar at the beginning automatically made me think of Charlie as well. Why is Lily a Charlie mirror? I’m not sure about that one. She is a woman who has been severely wronged by the Supernatural, and yet this was partly because she was obsessed with the Supernatural to begin with. Lily was obsessed with angels and learning all about them, Charlie was looking for her quest, her adventure. Both Lily and Charlie had affairs with Supernatural beings and both Lily and Charlie were made powerless at one point. Where this lack of power cost Charlie her life, it cost Lily her soul. I was saying to @elizabethrobertajones whilst still screeching after my first watch that I thought this episode channelled the writing of Robbie Thompson, and I couldn’t really explain why other than Yokey just seems clued in to the important issue and the things that the fandom cares about. Robbie’s episodes were always chock full of meta and left us with a happy glowy feeling afterwards and I think Yokey has somehow mastered this. (something bucklemming have been unable to do in 6 freaking seasons).

But then there is also this homage to Charlie Bradbury in this character that Yokey has created. The visual imagery of Lily is undeniably based on Charlie. The eye patch alone would have been enough to go on but that along with everything else is telling us something. This episode was about our Charlie mirror taking her power back after all. Maybe it was in a way, an acknowledgement to us and our pain over Charlie’s death. A silent nod to fandom and an admittance that it was a mistake? But then, I could totally be reading too far into that based on my own broken heart.

The other and probably more important mirror for Lily in the episode is Dean. Lily is a Dean mirror through and through. Lily “dreamed about angels” all her life, whereas Dean spent his life with his mothers voice in his head saying “angels are watching over you”. Lily studied angels and learnt to speak fluent enochion. Whilst Dean isn’t fluent he has an excellent knowledge of angels as this episode showed with a fancy new sigil that we haven’t seen before. We know Dean knows his stuff. Lily was awed by the first angel she saw “it was like looking into the face of the divine” and we all remember Dean’s reaction to seeing Cas. Yet just like Dean, when angels came into Lily’s life they ruined it for her. Yes, like Dean, she had an angelic protector, whom she shared an ambiguous relationship with. Like Dean, she was devoted to her child (because Dean has always been framed as Sam’s parent) and also like Dean, thanks to angels, that child was taken from her (Sam’s sacrifice in Swan Song). Lily’s story is a tragic worst case scenario for Dean, and also for Cas and Sam. I touched on this in part 1, as the themes here are heavily connected to destiel with Cas playing the parts of both Ishim and Akabel at various points throughout Supernatural’s long run.

The other really interesting things about Lily were:

“You’ll be amazed what a person can do with a little bit of purpose and an abundance of time” Lily had a hell of a lot of patience. Her focus was revenge, “Revenge is all I’ve had for a hundred years. It’s all I am” like many side characters we see in the show. The themes of revenge and waiting years and years to get it is one that supernatural has been exploring again and again over the past few seasons. Jesse and Cesar spring to mind. With Jesse finally getting his revenge before retiring to New Mexico with his husband. Jesse was also a Dean mirror. What is the show trying to tell us about this? The Winchesters story is built on a revenge mission. The revenge mission of their father. However that has been over for a long time, and now with the return of their mother is it even relevant any more? All these side characters still dealing with their revenge missions? Is this telling us that our wayward sons really should be laying their weary heads to rest now? Its over? Lily said revenge was all she was. She also said that it was destroying her soul:

“Everytime I use one of their spells a piece of my soul burns away”

So what does this tell us about Dean? After everything he has been through, every heartbreak, every fight, isn’t it time he was also done? Lily lost her family, her revenge was all she had. But Dean still has his family around him. Perhaps he should quit whilst he’s ahead too before more trouble finds him? After what Cas did in the last episode, and given who Cas’s mirror was here, the foreshadowing is pretty damn gloomy… especially for Sam. But emotionally, the boys are all on better ground at the end of this episode, and it’s about damn time.

Overall

This episode was a tornado of meta madness. The character growth and development in this episode alone is in some ways more than we’ve seen in whole seasons. I couldn’t be happier. The flashback scene was visually stunning, and I will never be over fem!cas. She was amazing. 

The very fact that this episode was all about angel/human relationships still fills me with glee. What tops this off is that the primary relationship of the episode was Dean and Cas’s. They were actual husbands this episode, and no one would agree with me more on that fact than poor long suffering Sam. Who brought humour and fun and sympathy and support in all his glory.

This episode was fanfiction brought to life, and I mean that in the best possible way. It was like one of those super juicy case fic hurt/comfort stories that’s around the 50k mark and pulls you in and you can’t stop reading the damn thing. Of course its such a slow burn you are driving yourself crazy, but it has such a satisfying ending... those are always gems to find. 

I could write so much more. But my head is hurting, I don’t want to delay this any longer and I think I am done. This episode was wonderful. I have watched it 5 times and I would watch it again. It was everything I could have hoped for and more. Steve Yokey is fast becoming my favourite writer on the show and filling the hole left by Robbie Thompson’s departure. I can’t wait for his next episode. I’m gonna leave it there. Please check out part 1 if you haven’t already for all the destiel goodness.

[connorrenwick]

MIDLAND Stays True to a Philosophy of Well-Chosen Goods

Southern California is blessed with many things: year-round beautiful weather, close proximity to the ocean as well as the mountains, and MIDLAND. Founded by Paige Appel and Kelly Harris, the shop has two locations in both Culver City and Silver Lake, and operates by the philosophy of selling only well-chosen goods that resonate with both women and their customers. Home goods, beauty products, and apparel have been curated specifically from makers that Paige and Kelly either know directly or have at the least met in person. Each product must have a connection to something higher than commerce, and ideally it all comes back around to community. For June’s Design Store(y) we spoke to both women to find out what makes MIDLAND tick so successfully.

Why did you pick this city/neighborhood/storefront?

For Culver City, it was an untapped neighborhood for quality boutiques. We drove by this space everyday on our way to our event studio and watched it come for lease, jumped on it, and then gutted and renovated it. It was laborious and not without hiccups, but the space has such good energy and we love the aesthetic we’ve created.

Where did you get the name for the store?

The name has many meanings. One being that Culver City is in the middle of the L.A., so literally the Midland of the city. Two being the name is not too feminine or masculine and has a Western ring to it. Three, it reminds us of an open field or prairie in the Southwest, much of where we take inspiration from.

Has it changed much since it opened? How?

Yes and no. The idea and ethics and aesthetics haven’t changed, but about 30% of the products we carry tend to change. We are still learning about makers we align with and those we don’t. It has also become more of a clothing store than we originally imagined, but it is proving viable and fun to have a good selection of quality clothing.

What’s one of the challenges you have with the business?

It’s challenging to figure out what customers want without compromising our values or makers. It’s a strange world in retail right now where people want cheap and fast, and that’s not what we are about. Marketing without being obnoxious, carrying the products we believe in without over-saturation of products. It’s all a balancing act, and honestly what works and doesn’t changes all the time.

What other stores have you worked in before opening this one?

None! We have backgrounds in film and advertising and event planning. This is our third career iteration, so it’s not only exciting and challenging but also a new road to go down.

What’s your favorite item in the store right now?

Paige is always partial to the Navajo pottery and Kelly is partial to the apothecary, specifically the Saipua soap Clary Sage with Dill.

What is this season’s theme/inspiration/story? 

Spring is always about transition for us. Moving from corduroy pants and sweaters to flowy sundresses and lightweight jumpsuits. We don’t shy away from pops of color that reflect natural seasonal elements such as a violet Kkibo dress the color of wisteria. A peach Rachel Craven caftan the color of a sunset. A wheat colored jumpsuit from Ilana Kohn. Our inspiration is always an effortless look made from natural fibers, and doesn’t overpower the person wearing it. Unfussy, but chic. Same with our home goods and other products.

Are you carrying any new products and/or undiscovered gems you’re particularly excited about?

We are very excited about our line of scents. They are the perfect organic unisex blends that don’t overpower but are significantly earthy and interesting. They don’t imprint on someone else when you hug them but rather leave a longing for a place elsewhere… Midland, Heartland, and Hinterland. People always ask us what the amazing smell is when you walk in the store and we say it’s an olfactory concert of the three natural formulations.

What’s been a consistent best seller?

Coffee mugs! Can’t keep them in stock. We love all our potters, but right now the custom colors Ivy Ivy Ivy is making for us are beautiful and flying off the shelves. They pair well with the coffee bean blends from Canyon Coffee we sell.

What’s your process for selecting + curating the objects in your shop?

First, we have to love the product ourself. We have to try it and know it’s flawless. Second, it has to have a connection to something bigger than commerce. Ethics and quality of product is key. Third, it helps to connect with the designer/maker. We are big on community, so feeling like we are carrying our friends and people we have met and adore makes it easier for us to stand behind the product and sell it. We are not interested in detachment or lack of familiarity. Beauty organizes the mind and when something aligns in ethics, detail, and humanity – it’s truly beautiful.

Any special events/exhibits/pop ups/collaborations coming up?

We host pop-ups quite often. We just did a wonderful collaboration with our friend Karen Kimmel and the artists she works with at Tierra del Sol. They empower people with development disabilities through art and job development and we are now carrying their pillows, textiles, and ceramics in the Silver Lake shop in some of our chosen color-ways. These soulful artists really inspired us, emotionally and creatively, and giving back to them is beyond fulfilling. We also have a pop-up coming up with Jungmaven, Paradise People, and You Swim for summer, and are hosting a beach clean-up with our dear friend Christy Dawn. We are more than just a shop, we believe in a life of substance beyond our walls. The Midland customer cares about more than just incense and soap.

Do you have anything from the store in your own home?

We have pretty much something from every maker in our home. Pottery, clothing, apothecary, etc. We both have a couple of the Agnes Baddoo bags carried in the shop. The custom hunter green and canvas is exclusive to our shop and we are obsessed. Agnes has been a wonderful collaborator and made the “Midland” green bag for us before we opened, as a deep Essex/Hunter green is our signature color. We each carry her bags and swear they are the only bag you need. They get better with age. Durable, beautiful, and holds just what you need. The compliments are endless for these purses.

What’s been one of the most fulfilling aspects in opening your store?

Connecting with people, customers, and makers. Feeling the joy of making someone’s day with our goods. Creating a space to gather, explore, and discover the craft of so many talented and sincere people. It has been fulfilling to have more control over our content and creations. Previous work was more client-centric and that sometimes didn’t align with our values. This is 100% our curation, and maybe it’s not for everyone, but that’s okay as it’s for us and by us and someone resonating with it makes us happy.

What’s one lesson you’ve learned since opening your store?

Don’t buy anything for the shop without seeing it, testing it, and getting a feel for it’s energy and quality. We made the mistake of buying product from line sheets without knowing it in real life and quite a few were not meant for us. Kind-of like online dating… it may look good on the screen, but you gotta meet for the happy hour to know if you really resonate with each other.

If you could give one piece of advice to someone who wants to follow a similar path to yours, what would it be? 

Just do it for yourself. It won’t make you rich. It won’t make you famous. Find your intentions for the space and follow that. People can tell when it’s authentic and it benefits everyone, especially you, when it’s done from your heart and soul.

Visit MIDLAND at 8634 Washington Blvd. Culver City, CA 90232 or 1404 Micheltorena St. Silver Lake, CA 90026 or shop-midland.com.

Photos by Morgan Pansing.

via http://design-milk.com/

from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/midland-stays-true-to-a-philosophy-of-well-chosen-goods/

[mittensmorgul]

Today on the TNT loop, a wonderful direct callback to 15.09 and 15.10, via 4.15, 4.16 and 4.17...

I need to start out by reminding everyone that the entire purpose of s4 was to manipulate Sam and Dean into “playing their roles,” even before they knew their roles existed as roles. Cosmically fated to act out a specific story for the entertainment of a bored God. Remember, they’re about to learn of the existence of “Chuck the Prophet” who’s been writing their lives down, in explicit detail, and publishing them as a series of pulpy horror novels. Hooray, 4.18, up next for me.

But I really need to pause here, because the sort of manipulations that Sam and Dean suffered through in 15.10, while I’ve already pointed out a lot of other “silly” episodes they referenced:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190430063655/mittensmorgul-episodes-i-expect-1510-to-remind

I’m gonna now add 4.17 to that list, too, because holy HECK.

Remember the setup to this episode? 4.15 and 4.16 both? Where Dean had been DIRECTLY MANIPULATED into stopping Alistair from breaking another seal-- to “kill death twice” by ritually murdering two reapers-- a hunt that Cas “tricked” Sam and Dean into taking on by literally making them think that Bobby had sent them on that hunt.

Then 4.16 used Uriel to manipulate both Dean AND Cas into believing they needed to torture information out of Alistair. The goal was to break both Dean AND Cas here, because Uriel knew all along that Alistair was literally just a distraction, a diversion from his own actions, recruiting angels for Team Lucifer and murdering those who refused to join him. But also breaking Dean’s will to just... do what he’s told. Because Dean himself was never destined to be anything more than a tool to Heaven, a vessel for Michael to wear to the apocalypse. Of course, Dean didn’t know any of that yet, and neither did Cas. He knew Dean was “important,” but truly didn’t know why. 

At the end of 4.16, lying in a hospital bed, Dean felt hopeless:

Castiel: It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it. Dean: Lucifer? The Apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean! Castiel: I don't know. Dean: Bull. Castiel: I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you. Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

Tell me this isn’t super similar to his state earlier in s15. Let’s say... at the beginning of 15.06, holed up in his room in his bathrobe, bingewatching tv shows and eating cereal directly from the box. By the end of the episode, he still wasn’t sure what was real and what was Chuck’s doing in his life, and he’s absolutely right to question that, given his lifetime of experience being manipulated in exactly this way by higher cosmic powers.

In 4.17, that higher cosmic power was Zachariah, literally giving Sam and Dean alternate memories and directly inserting them into entirely different lives to prove a point. In 4.17, the Winchesters had their lifetime of knowledge of the Supernatural excised from them-- and even all the practicalities of hunting like “how to buy guns,” and “how salt can repel ghosts,” and “how to fight.” Throughout the episode they were forced to re-learn all of these skills for themselves, ironically using Ghostfacers videos about ghost hunting that directly referenced information that the Ghostfacers had learned from “The Winchesters.” Very much like how the Winchesters were “depowered” in 15.10, and yet... they were saved because of their prior relationship WITH GARTH, in which they had not only saved Garth’s life a couple of times, but had also learned things and imparted knowledge and information TO GARTH in the past. 

I guess what I’m attempting to point out here is the direct parallel to Chuck’s active manipulation of Sam and Dean in 15.10. They may not have had their memories removed like Zachariah did to them, but they’ve been reset to a similar sort of “baseline” status where NOTHING they do actually works this time. It’s... it’s almost a perfect inverse of 4.17.

Literally the episode leading up to the first appearance of Chuck The Author in canon.

Tell me Dabb isn’t explicitly suggesting an inverse parallel here, framing everything as Dean’s CHOICE, when it’s been one grand manipulation to pressing him into making that choice through any means necessary-- up to and including direct deceit and false narrative:

Zachariah: Believe me, I had no interest in popping down here into one of these smelly things. But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit, get all my ducks in a row. Dean: I am not one of your ducks. Zachariah: Starting with your attitude. Dean: So, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative.

and

Zachariah: I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it, right? Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. Zachariah: All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

Zachariah KNEW the bigger plan all along. Here he showed Dean an “alternate life” that was entirely manufactured to be a “false choice.” Dean, because of who he is as a person, would never have chosen that corporate falsehood. Just like he rejected Zachariah’s intended lesson in 5.04. And Gabriel’s lesson in 5.08.

Dean... doesn’t want to play his role. His role sucks. It’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse, after all... oh... wait, that’s a direct quote from 5.09, aka another episode where Chuck is directly involved, and directly manipulates them into a hunt... Dean... is not a fan...

But... we also learn something that I still think is true, and that I still think is IMPORTANT to s15. And important to Chuck as a character on this show we’re watching. I really don’t think he’s omniscient. I don’t think he can actually see every possible outcome. I don’t think he can control everything. But I think, and will always think, that because of Free Will, his ability to truly influence the outcome of his story is hindered. Unless he can use everything he CAN manipulate to crush Sam and Dean’s free will... to force them into making choices directly against their own interest, because of their perceived situation, or in this new post 14.20 universe, Chuck’s perceived intent for them.

Sam and Dean (and Cas! remember this was also about his discovery of the “rot” in Heaven, and how he himself had been used and manipulated into helping start the apocalypse) spent s4 thinking they were doing the right thing, because they’d been lied to from the start. When they questioned their path, questioned each other, their actions were met with often comically implausible verging on outright ridiculous situations that nudged them back into this cosmically “destined” series of events.

And Chuck’s history of this is directed at Sam and Dean in different ways-- Sam through the psychological manipulation and emotional angst, and Dean through physically hindering him. Chuck needed to break Sam’s trust in Dean, and replace it with the false belief that he was actually doing the right thing back in s4:

SAM: Dean’s not... he's not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help. CHUCK: So you got to carry the weight? SAM: Well, he's looked out for me my whole life. I can't return the favor? CHUCK: Yeah, sure you can. I mean, if that's what this is. SAM: What else would it be? CHUCK: I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control? SAM: No. That's not true. CHUCK: I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders. SAM: Does it? All rest on my shoulders? CHUCK: That seems to be where the story's headed. SAM: Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight? CHUCK: I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet.

Chuck needs to break Sam’s will in 15.09, but Dean? Dean he needed to break his car, break him physically, and break his belief in his own choices and actions. Break his belief in his own identity. Because Dean’s will is not so easily shattered. He’s still willing to punch God in the face, for all of this.

And that’s how we end up with 15.10...

bonus destiel content: Dean’s very first prayer to Cas, ever, is asking him for help to stop Chuck’s prophecy from coming true. Dean question’s Cas’s “mission,” i.e. the thing Dean is unaware Cas has been questioning himself all this time, in the face of Dean’s refusal to just sit around and wait for Chuck’s prophecies to happen to them. Cas supplies him with the bit of information Dean needs to interfere and break the prophecy. I’ve written about the importance of that act before:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187983341865/i-always-thought-anna-said-only-an-angel-can-kill

(and it bothers the everloving fuck out of me that people still don’t see that Chuck is a flim-flam artist of the highest order, and is the most unreliable narrator in the history of unreliable narrators, because not only is he biased to his own view of the story, he has the power to make the story conform to his own views, even if he can’t fully control each of the characters like glorified puppets)

and then Lizbob has also written about this scene and its import:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/169437649690/elizabethrobertajones-dean-cas-are-in-love-a

which is incredible when paired with Dean’s most recent prayer to Cas in 15.09, not about a problem he needs help fixing, but directly about their relationship... to quote Layla from 1.12, speaking on the subject of prayer, there’s a miracle right there.

[mittensmorgul]

Who is Belphegor?

I mean, who is he, really? There’s a possibility that he’s exactly what he claims to be, but everything in me is screaming THIS IS A ZEKE SITUATION, and we don’t yet understand his true motives or identity. Since 15.01 aired, I’ve been playing around with theories, and I’ve got it narrowed down to a few I would really enjoy. I think I’ve talked about (or around) each of these theories in my tag for Belphie, and you can go read those posts here for further edification and general waffling on my part.

1. Belphegor. He might actually be exactly what he says he is. I mean, why NOT believe him? Reasons FOR the theory:

because he said so

his general behavior fits what we know about the demon Belphegor in a general sort of way

Reasons AGAINST the theory:

because he said so, and we’re watching Supernatural

the two characters I’ve seen most people ping to in reaction to him are RUBY (who lied about her entire motivation for befriending them and being helpful) and EZEKIEL (who lied about his identity and motives from the moment he showed up, and was actually Gadreel... which went over swimmingly)

his appearance was entirely too ~convenient~ to believe it at face value (he was the ONLY demon to pop out of hell in that mess, conveniently knew the exact spells they needed to get out of that predicament, is REALLY good at manipulating TFW specifically, etc. etc.)

what kind of torturer is AFRAID of the things he tortures? why would a demon fear a human ghost?

What kind of demon would ASK FOR A SACK OF SALT and then handle said salt as if it was nothing?

2. The Shadow. This was one of my first thoughts, even before the episode aired, because of the situation we knew to be true of Jack, where he was at the end of 14.20, and what he was DOING there-- i.e. having a friendly chat with Billie and the Shadow, and what the PR said about Jack feeling conflicted about returning to his body because of guilt. This felt like one of those situations that Billie would need to have HANDLED SOONEST, and the Shadow was conveniently RIGHT THERE to fill in for Jack. We already know he has the power to appear to be other beings (Cas faced him as himself in the Empty, and couldn’t tell he wasn’t Dumah in Heaven, for example), and can theoretically convincingly take on the form of whatever he wants to T-1000 style. That said, Reasons FOR:

Incredibly powerful being who could pull off everything we saw Belphegor do

snarky personality that also lines up with what we saw

INTENSE PERSONAL DIRECT KNOWLEDGE of the contents of Cas’s knowledge bank, his emotions and personality, feelings “i tiptoed through all your little tulips” style

can appear to be other types of beings in a way that Cas can’t perceive his true nature and accepts what he does see as truth

we don’t know the scope of his powers or abilities outside of the Empty or Heaven, or how he would be limited or affected by possessing a human-ish body (explaining his discomfort around a human soul since they aren’t relegated to his domain upon death, and his particular vulnerability to injury and pain in a human-ish body)

The Empty is outside of God’s purview, and therefore he may be able to operate in complete stealth without alerting Chuck to his presence on Earth in a way literally no other being could, making him the ultimate secret agent here

literally ZERO other demons seem to have escaped Hell during this containment breach. Every other being who got out has been a human soul.

Reasons AGAINST:

we just don’t know what he’s actually up to in canon. He could still be in the Empty babysitting Jack (not that we know that would be a limitation on where he could still be, if he could just scoop out a pile of goo-him and send a bit of himself off to animate Jack’s body for a while, but we don’t know if that’s possible, either)

3. Metatron. Based on what we know of how the Empty works, and how Metatron specifically died, there’s a good chance we’re seeing the return of Metatron for one of two separate reasons. He died without grace-- as a human-- so theoretically he would’ve gone to heaven, right? Like Jack did in 14.08? We know the Empty didn’t invade Heaven for HIS soul, though, so there’s a possibility that he may have gone directly to the Empty anyway. Though the way Amara killed him... there’s a chance he was “absorbed” into her (like she stated several other times happened when she “consumed” souls, you know? but we don’t know exactly what happened to Metatron other than he disappeared into a lil poof of darkness, so this is entirely theoretical conjecture). But I’ve long paralleled Amara to the Empty, and I don’t think there’s really a functional difference between being consumed by Amara and being sent to the empty, you know? They are both The Void. I literally JUST wrote this post, which inspired me to make a list in the first place, where you can read my thoughts in detail. Reasons FOR:

talk about someone ready to play foil to Chuck, the writer out of control in desperate need of an editor. Think 11.20, to the nth degree here.

golly he KNOWS Chuck’s whole “writing process,” and NOBODY is more familiar with the entire body of Chuck’s writing, going all the way back to creation

Even after he lost his mojo, he was still proficient in the sorts of spells we saw Belphegor pull out of thin air, you know?

he’s also the exact sort of snarky Belphegor has been

he was weirdly obsessed with Cas’s trenchcoat (lol, abomination) and had a MASSIVE jealous-on for Cas in general

the spell Belphegor used to erect the wall referencing river imagery (the river shall end at its source and all that)

metatron’s reluctance to engage in “direct combat” himself, and his comments to Cas from the get-go that he needed Cas because he’s not a warrior himself, which lines up with the “bad ghost! no!” behavior when faced with a direct confrontation

tangential to the above point, the fact he died HUMAN without supernatural powers would leave him vulnerable to injury from a ghost, as well as the “general pains of humanity” we saw demonstrated when Constance was able to cut his hand and cause him physical pain that way

Metatron, being the Scribe of God who basically possesses not only the knowledge of all of creation and a vast swath of human writings as well, would love the sort of game of pretending to be a specific demon this way, and would love the subterfuge of it all as well

He is REALLY good at this sort of manipulation

theoretically whether he went to heaven or the empty, billie was on hand to fetch him out and sign him up for service

Reasons AGAINST:

we don’t know where metatron went after he died, and if Amara did consume him it might not be possible to have brought him back (unless Amara is also part of this bigger cosmic plotting and helped his return the way she did with Mary, so this might not be a reason against after all)

would Metatron be able to cloak his true identity behind a false mask of a “true demon face” that Cas identified immediately? (unless he was, again, helped along with that by the Shadow or Amara... we don’t know if their powers would extend to that)

it’s a possibility that-- for whatever reason-- his soul did end up in Hell-- whether by nature of his “sins” or by design of some outside force (Bobby ended up wrongfully in Hell, too, so who knows), and he has actually become a demon, but this seems incredibly unlikely... would his soul have been demonized yet? it’s only been a few years... and again, this is pure conjecture for the sake of argument, and not based in anything in canon.

4. Balthazar. I mean, for all the reasons I stated above for Metatron being handy and ready to serve, and possibly getting an assist from Billie or the Empty to cloak his “true identity,” we know he would’ve been handily found in the Empty. Reasons FOR:

Belphegor kinda sounds like Balthazar... especially the way the being himself pronounced it (more like Belphagar)

readily to hand in the Empty and familiar with all the players on the board

broadly fits within the personality of Belphegor, known to have participated in a “menage a... what’s the french word for twelve?” aka an orgy

lol Belphegor is the Infernal Ambassador to France and that would be a hilarious coincidence... >.>

Balthazar is good at subterfuge, resourceful, good at spellwork (he was the one buying human souls in 6.03)

also pretty good at subterfuge and spy work, though Cas did see through him (sadly) and killed him for it once upon a time...

Reasons AGAINST:

would he be able to cloak his true identity? basically apply what I said about Metatron for this one

Belphegor’s speech patterns. He uses a lot of “filler words,” and Balthazar... didn’t. Then again, he uses SO MANY of them that it could be a deliberate affectation

the line about Cas’s trenchcoat (the one in the dirty trenchcoat, who’s in love with you), so he doesn’t have any particular reason to refer to it as an “abomination,” though it’s not entirely out of the question

5. A Random Reaper. Billie may have ordered one of her Reaper Babysitters to make sure Jack’s body remained safe and viable for when he was ready to return, as well as allow one of her reapers to... to quote Dean from 6.09... “interact more forcefully” with creation. Reasons FOR:

would report directly to Billie, and give Billie an on the spot window on the Winchesters

intimately familiar with the Winchesters from having kept tabs on them for the last several years

have the innate ability to control others’ perceptions of them and the world in general, so disguising their true form from Cas would’ve been easy

Reasons AGAINST:

do reapers have any other magical abilities beyond their known functions?

WHY would A REAPER be afraid of a human ghost? Literally their JOB is dealing with human ghosts

I don’t think a reaper would’ve been able to have been injured by a ghost, unless these ghosts have somehow been “supercharged” by the way Chuck forced their souls from hell... one screenshot of the ghost Cas smashed with the big stone slab showed a weird glowy-orange patch on its shoulder, almost as if it had been “marked by Chuck” and granted some sort of special dispensation of powers, like we know all those sorts of “marks” on people have in SPN canon, so this may not be an issue against.

Billie’s own “clean hands” policy for reapers... if that’s something that would still bind their actions if Billie gave them a direct order to play this specific role now.

Other theories I’ve considered are that it could be a specific reaper-- thinking possibly Tessa, since she was already in the Empty, too, and I just love her and hate what happened to her. Or possibly a random other demon, but again most of the reasons I objected to it being Belphegor apply to other demons even more strongly to Random Demon Minion #3, too. It might be a specific demon we’ve known in the past, or someone we’d known as a human who’s since become a demon, but again... that seems highly doubtful. It could also potentially be Goocifer, i.e. dead!Lucifer, but I don’t think the Shadow would’ve allowed him to just trip out of the Empty so easily. Though he did have a connection to Jack, and after death it’s possible his attitude toward everything has... shifted? the way Billie said hers did after ascending to the mantle of Death and she saw a bigger cosmic picture. If he’s had an enlightenment of sorts in death, this could be a possibility, but again... I think it’s less likely than the above notions but not something I can discount entirely, unfortunately. If he’d been “specifically depowered” like he’d been when his grace had been drained, that could explain his ability to have been injured by a ghost, for example, but would he even have the ability to hide his true form from Cas-- an angel he literally knows from the inside out, having possessed him for half a year... >.>

I’ll update this list as canon unfolds. :D