#you can't see it here because she is by herself on an abstract background but she is 54 ft tall.

[rhiannonmackwood]

Delmar L'Eau (she/her) is a bratty mermaid trying to run for mayor, and she'll do whatever it takes to get the job.

Bonus: her nails

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"Open to Interpretation" by kazoosandfannypacks

Pairing: Captain Swan

Rating: General

Word Count: 1K

Summary: At the art museum, Emma is appalled at works by modern artist Killian Jones- until a handsome stranger convinces her otherwise.

Tags: au, fluff, captain swan, one shot, modern au

Author's notes: Happy Valentine's Day to my lovely followers and readers! Yesterday I released a poll to see which fic I should release next... and surprise, surprise, the release date was today! Almost half of you voted for "Art Museum," so I hope y'all enjoy this one! it is, in fact, based on that list of meet uglies that was floating around!

Taglist:@zahara@kmomof4@jonesfandomfanatic@booksteaandtoomuchtv@jrob64@tiganasummertree@anmylica@teamhook@undercaffinatednightmare@gingerchangeling@lonelyspectator@caught-in-the-filter  @ultraluckycatnd  @cs-rylie @silver-the-phoenix [if you’d like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

 "I can't believe this guy has a whole wing dedicated to his art." Emma muttered, staring at the painting in front of her. She didn't know who this "Killian Jones" was, but based on his art, she was glad she didn't.

 "Why not?" A voice behind her asked.

 She hadn't even realized she'd made her statement out loud, but she'd never been one to back down from a fight, even over something as trivial as art.

 "It's tasteless," She turned to look at the stranger, only to find him more attractive than she expected, "and purposeless- like if absurdism and abstract art had a child in a soulless void. This guy isn't trying to communicate anything, and if he is, he's buried it so deep his viewership can't find out what it is."

 "That's because they're not looking," He said, "besides, isn't art open to interpretation? 'Death of the author' and all that? Maybe the reason you're not seeing the message is that you're not looking hard enough."

 Determined not to be outwitted by a cute art museum stranger, she turned back to the painting in front of her and tried to see what it could possibly mean. This piece in particular was of waves on a stormy sea- except one large blotch of a vibrant white, silhouetting a sailing ship.

 "This one communicates that he knows how to paint water," Emma suggested, "but he's scared to try his hand at realism when it comes to boats. It almost looks like he intended to paint a magnificent vessel there- but backed down at the last minute."

 The stranger laughed. "That's what this picture shows. But what does that communicate?"

 "That he doesn't like to paint boats?"

 "Then I suppose you haven't paid close attention to the rest of the exhibit," he said, "ships seem to be a recurring theme in Jones' work."

 Emma bit her lip and nodded. She did recall seeing a few other paintings of ships in this wing.

 "So the absence of the ship here is intentional," he continued, "he meant for this picture to be missing something."

 "A purpose?" Emma suggested.

 He gave half a laugh, "You're closer than you think. I believe Jones' purpose," and here he paused, for a dramatic effect, "is that some purpose of his is missing. The sea has everything but a vessel to sail on it, and without it, something is missing. A clever metaphor, really- though it may be a bit lost on less intellectual self-proclaimed connoisseurs."

 "Did he just insult me?" Emma thought, though she had to admit, she started to appreciate the meaning behind the piece- there'd been times she'd felt like that shipless sea herself. Still, she was determined not to be outwit by this stranger.

 "That's just one piece," Emma said, then pointed to one she'd spent twenty minutes judging, "what do you think he meant to communicate by this?"

 This one was more simplistic than the other, painted in only three colors, and only using basic shapes. It depicted a classic red heart on a white background, with three lines overtop the heart, something like thorns sticking out of the lines- and those were deep black.

 "A valentine's heart a five year old could draw," Emma said, "basic shapes, a self proclaimed gritty design that a twelve year old emo with Microsoft Paint would be able to make for themselves."

 "You've done it again," he said, "in attempting to swing a low blow on the painting, you've instead hit the nail on the head. This is simple, it is easily accessible- and I think that's because grief is too. Whatever pain inspired this piece, he must've found it extremely extraordinary, to paint it in such an ordinary manner- as if trying to make one understand it. See how the thorns cover the heart, almost like a jail cell, like you can't reach your heart through all that grief."

 Emma nodded. "Or maybe the heart is trying to get out- and the grief is the cage you use to protect it."

 "So this piece doesn't exist in a soulless void either?" he asked, and raised an eyebrow.

 "Two out of twenty means nothing."

 "Then perhaps discuss another?" he asked.

 "What about that one?" Emma asked. A few paintings down the hall was an abstract array of brushstrokes, all positioned vertically on the canvas. All of them were in shades of red, pink and white, except for two of them. These two would've been directly parallel with each other if they were centered on the canvas, but one was on the top right and the other on the bottom left. They were a deeper shade of red, so much so that they were almost purple, and on further inspection one could even see a little bit of blue peeking out the edge of each stripe, on the sides facing their nearest edge.

 "What do you think he doesn't mean to say in this one?" he asked her.

 "It looks like Pong without the ball or the center line." Emma said. "Is this another 'something important is missing' too, like how," and here she feigned a dramatic tone of voice, "a game of Pong without the ball is already lost?"

 "Not even close this time," he said, "and you were so good up until now."

 "I thought art was up to interpretation?" Emma asked.

 "True, but look at this," he pointed to the title of the piece.

 "Silverstein's Masks?" Emma asked. "I don't know who Silverstein was, but he must've been some kind of picasso painting himself if he could wear this as a mask."

 "So knowledgeable in the visual arts, but not in the literary," he shook his head, "I believe the Silverstein in question is Shel."

 "Shel Silverstein?" Emma asked, "like, The Giving Tree."

 "Ah, so you do know the classics," he said, "but you may not be familiar with one of Silverstein's lesser known works, a short poem almost like a tragedy, simply entitled Masks."

 "And I take it you know the poem?"

"Quite familiar with it," he said, "'She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole lives through- then passed right by and never knew."

  "And these stripes are supposed to represent that?" Emma asked, trying to hide how impressed she was by his recitation.

 "You know more than you're letting on," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder to turn her attention back to the painting, pointing out details with his other hand, "see how these two almost look like they're moving, moving past each other. And while, for the most part, these appear like the others, you can see, just barely peeking out at the bottom- though not where the other could have ever noticed- that under all that red, they're blue."

 "So?" Emma asked, understanding exactly what it meant, but wanting to hear him say it in his own words, finding his intellect and voice and his face altogether quite attractive.

 "In trying to blend with the rest of the palate, they've closed themselves off from the opportunity to be understood- they've lost a chance to be truly loved because they tried to be something they weren't."

 Emma nodded. "I think I get it now."

 She looked up at the stranger, his hand still on her shoulder, his eyes a work of art unto themselves, one that she carefully inspected.

 "Shall we discuss another one?" he asked, remembering his place and taking his hand off Emma's shoulder.

 "I think you've proved your point," Emma said.

 "Oh?" he asked, "and what point is that?"

 Emma rolled her eyes. "Killian Jones is very clearly a talented artist with a clear message in his works."

 The stranger smiled a little more than expected, almost sheepishly.

 "I'm glad to hear you've changed your mind, miss…."

 He held his hand out to her, and she took it, noticing how strong his grip was, but how delicate as well.

 "Swan," Emma said, "Emma Swan. And you are?"

  "Artist in residence," he smiled, "Killian Jones."

[tuiyla]

what are your thoughts on santana's repeated insistence that she's a cruel/heartless person? she says it in 4x14, she says it in 5x03, she says it in 5x13, and again in 5x18. for most of the series, she seems to have a really hard time believing that she isn't a bad person, even when people like kurt or mercedes try to reassure her. why do you think that is?

I think it's an unfortunate case of the self-inflicted vicious cycle that's really, really hard to break once she's in it. And she's all in by the time the show starts.

So, Santana's mean. Like, really, really mean at times. Even on her good days she's still snarky and way too comfortable casually insulting people. And we could talk about why that is in the first place because that behaviour is learned, not instinctive, but I think @amazonworrier's post covers it well and I should probably at least try to stay on topic lol. So the topic isn't why she's that way but why she can't seem to also recognize her own kind heart, which I'm just gonna take for granted in this post because we're gonna make like Brittany and Mercedes and Kurt and believe in her. Santana's not nice but she is kind. How come she herself is reluctant to accept that?

I wanted to start more so with her own insistence but the more I think about it the more it needs the background of this vicious cycle I mention. So now that we’re taking that she is mean but she is also kind for granted, I present to you the Lopez cycle aka Santana’s guide to bad decisions:

Graphic design is my passion.

Let’s start with her being mean because that’s also how we start the series. This doesn’t need much preamble, we all know what she can be like. Her actions, rightfully btw, result in others being wary of this mean and at times cruel side  she has. Sometimes they still give her the benefit of the doubt, most times they’re reluctant to accept her genuinely kind moments because it feels like a trap. Santana’s reaction shouldn’t be surprised-pikachu.jpeg because she can’t expect her behaviour to not have consequences but it sucks nonetheless. People can’t get better when no one gives them the space to grow (which, we’ll get to). So after the initial offense Santana gets sad by this, and then she gets angry as one does.

Only that anger is an external manifestation; first, she internalizes the low expectations she’s faced with. And this is the bit that’s most interesting for the purposes of this post. For the sake of going through the whole cycle, though, I’ll also note that once she does that, she does a sort of sunk cost fallacy thing and doubles down. Fine, as she’d say when it’s actually really not fine but she doesn’t know how to process these emotions and so here come the insults and general meanness once again because part of the whole process is her concluding that being open and vulnerable are not worth it if people won’t appreciate it. Also worth noting is tons of rejection making this worse, such as her initial confession of love to Brittany and being disowned by her Abuela right after she was outed.

To make this less abstract, we have the example of her first few episodes in NY and then the Pezberry feud in season 5. Santana goes all out when she moves in with Hummelberry and though her intentions are good, she crosses boundaries and doesn’t fully realize what it must be like from their perspective. Them kicking her out of the loft is possibly the best example of her getting sad and then offended and angry in the face of low expectations. Naya acts it really well, it’s all written on her face and then portrayed by the words that are meant to be nonchalant and “whatever” but clearly hide hurt.

And then the Pezberry feud, which, oof. Without derailing this even more before I answer the actual question at hand, this is the exact cycle we see. Rachel immediately assumes the worst of Santana after her audition and how justified or not that was is for another day but fact is, she does, and fact is, it hurts Santana more than she’d care to admit. After all they’ve been through in New York alone, like the aforementioned moving in and kicking out and moving back in, it hurts more than other examples. So Santana doubles down on everything to do with Funny Girl and Rachel, even after Rachel wants to bury the hatchet. At that point it’s part pride, part (still) genuine hurt that makes Santana continue to be a bitch until Brittany sets her straight.

Playing into others’ worst expectations of her sounds counterintuitive and it is, it really is, but it’s hardly a conscious decision. It’s more like a running away from the actual issues that Santana should face head on because, again, as part of the cycle she gets disillusioned with opening up because she fears further rejection and heartbreak too much. It’s significantly easier to be That Bitch and to say she “has no heart” and the like. Before I finally get to that part, I just want to note that this is a rather significant tendency she has in common with Puck, with whom it’s even more obvious since he all but spells it out in Bad Reputation as well as on other occasions:

God, I’m so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I’ve made. I try to be a good guy. I go to school and I say, “be cool, Puck, be nice.” But by second period, I’ve got a fire extinguisher in my hands and I’m spraying some dweeb with it and I don’t know how I got there.

Not a relevant parallel between the two for the purposes of this post but I think it’s interesting nonetheless and the post I’m writing on the topic might even get finished at some point this century.

This is the tension of the NY arc: Santana knows she’s been a bitch for all of high school and tries to do better but it’s hard when she doesn’t get the positive reinforcement and doesn’t even believe in herself. Her being insecure is alluded to a few times in the series, mostly by way of insults from Quinn and it’s largely considered in terms of her looks or career aspects, not in an interpersonal way. But I believe she is insecure, because she’s relied on that bitch persona for so long and fell back on anger and spite so often that she’s not sure how else to approach things.

A thousand words in and we’re getting close to an answer! So, if we put together the fair few times this cycle repeats and the pretty consistent reactions Santana gets from people even as time goes on and she tries more and more, I think it becomes easier to see why she’d say those things. I find it super interesting that all the example you mention are from Santana’s NY run. That whole NY era has two main arcs for her, imo: career/what to do in the future, and learning to break this very cycle by opening up to other people now that she’s freshly broken up with Brittany, the first person who was willing to climb past her walls. (Disappointing that neither arc reaches a true conclusion and are then dropped in season 6 but this is like the third potential side tangent so, another day.)

This one stings because she’s “been chosen” so it’s another example of her internalizing others’ view of her and doubling down on the bitchiness. We know she isn’t numb (even in this scene she looks like she feels sorry for Schue) but it’s easier to just say that than examine why others think that of her.

Her own insistence, the way I see it, is both a defense mechanism and a manifestation of that final doubling down step. She puts her walls up so as to keep herself from getting hurt (by rejection, by others not believing her) and it’s so easy to play into the bitch persona when everyone already thinks she is that. And again like I said at the beginning, it’s not like they don’t have reasons to think that but then she doesn’t help by playing into.

Part of her, just... doesn’t know how to be good. When she is, it seems to go wrong or not received well, like her misguided attempts to protect Hummelberry and then Rachel still assuming the worst even after all that. Personally, I do believe she wants to be and wants that good heart to show but she’d have to break the cycle somehow. And that can only happen when people do, despite maybe having reasons not to, believe in her and in her capacity for kindness. People can’t grow unless they’re given the space to. This is exactly what happens in The Back-Up Plan, my beloved, where Mercedes’ insistence is immediately followed by Santana doing something life-saving for Rachel. I don’t think she would have believed in herself enough to do that if not for her plot with Mercedes right before. For lack of any other conclusion to this aspect of her NY storyline, I just look at The Back-Up Plan and her convo with Rachel as the conclusion to this arc. She finally decides to use her bitch powers for good, now that she believes she can. And then we see an example of that in Old Dog, New Tricks. Bless Chris Colfer for giving Santana at least that and PR as a viable career option.

It takes her a while despite more and more people believing in her because it’s so deep-rooted and she really needs to be convinced that no, she shouldn’t give up so easily and should always at least try to do better and show her heart. Brittany has always believed in her and that was a comfort but in the NY arc Brittany is all but gone as a safety net and part of Santana’s story is that she needs to branch out. Britt has always believed in all she was capable of, which is imo what the proposal speech refers to, but Britt is just one person. Kurt gives her the benefit of the doubt throughout the NY eps, more so than Rachel and we’re shown the results of that. Most notably, Kurt does manage to convince Santana to read the list she prepared for Finn after If I Die Young because he gets her to see that kindness is good, actually. That she’d still say, “I have no heart” in 5x13 is entirely doubling down during the Pezberry feud because she’s hurting too much from the falling out. And 5x18 is her acknowledging that she messed up, during the feud and otherwise and Mercedes being the one to get through to her and say that no, mistakes don’t mean you should give up altogether. And after Santana saves her ass, hopefully Rachel now also sees that and will try not to enable Santana’s worst tendencies and the Lopez cycle.

The 5x13 one hurts extra but at the end of the day, all of these are Santana being too afraid to believe in herself and to give others the chance to hurt her in any way. It’s a tough cycle to break but, again despite the narratively satisfying conclusion, I’d like to believe she gets there. It’s tough and progress isn’t linear but she has all her besties and Brittany, all people who believe in her, and by the end of the series she even has the chance for Alma to be part of her life again. So really all that’s left is believing in herself.