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#you can't even go on a walk bc 1) mosquitoes 2) the heat 3) the sights suck ass
interiorlulus · 2 months
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I've managed to avoid going to see my maternal grandparents in France but at what cost (deep, profound shame).
#context: they live in bumfuck nowhere southern area the next town over is top 5 worst most boring place in the country#you can't get anywhere without a car#it's close to the beach but not close enough without a car AND it's NOT the côte d'azur lemme tell you#you can't even go on a walk bc 1) mosquitoes 2) the heat 3) the sights suck ass#like there's no hidden charm or anything. out of ALL the gorgeous places in France (of which there are PLENTY) my gps decided on THAT#did i mention my grandparents are separated but live together bc they got married in the sexist 60s? so my grandma doesn't own shit?#and my grandfather is senile in all the worst ways and she has to care for him bc he has dozens of medical issues#there's at least one or two fights between them when we go there and he is a grade A asshole#to give you an idea: my mom once said ''she wouldn't want people to not want to go to her funeral''#so yeah not even his children like him#my aunt who lives close by (1h30m in car lmao) is a secondary school teacher so it's always complaining complaining complaining#and i'm stuck listening to people 50+ who are completely disconnected from me bc they haven't had a proper conversation with me since 2012#''oh why don't you travel with friends instead?'' i'm ashamed to admit i lack independence and drive to do so. and i barely have friends#i want to really badly. i keep telling my friend who lives between granada/coimbra i should come see her but i don't know how to begin#it's so embarrassing at my age to be this helpless and i hate it#i'm in my twenties! i should move around and try new stuff! but i'm so afraid my inexperience and immaturity will show#i keep turning to my mom for help and that also doesn't help bc without her i don't push myself forth#i'm just so ashamed of being myself rn#this turned into one hell of a vent#me.txt
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