#you can tag this as sonadow just bc that'd be really funny

[sonic-4-episode-ii]

(bit of uhhh systemphobia/ableism in this one. interalized. shadow isnt actually ableist hes just bad a grieving)

tbh at first i dont think shadow would know what a system is

like sure, he grew up in a medical environment... but that doctoring was focused pmuch exclusively on physical disabilities, not mental illnesses.

even if he did find a DSM-I or something, he wouldnt have heard anything abt DID. though there are reports of it going back literal hundreds of years, they only got the proper term for it in like 2013, and it was pmuch nowhere in the dsm until recently.

even then, so so so many people act like it doesnt exist. like it isnt legit. even now, and especially back then.

i think that would cause shadow a lotta frustration. he tries to race sonic, just to be hit w 'sonic' aaying smt like "im sorry, love, hes not at front today. i can relay the message, though!"

tbh i think shadow would get pissed. that IS sonic. its his face, his body, his voice - ignoring the completely different tone used, one shadows never heard him use, one that barely sounds like him at all - so why is who is clearly sonic acting like they aren't?

they badger tails about it later, who gives them a straight answer they refuse. they interrogate knuckles, who tells them the massive history of DID in his tribe, which shadow completely ignores. annoyed (confused) tired (desperate) they go to amy, who tells them that - well, when sonic was a kid, he wasnt safe, so his brain split and made new parts of him that could help make him safe. now that he is safe, though, his brain still makes new parts, for any reason it wants - or thinks it needs to.

despite how clear these answers were, shadow wouldnt accept a single one of them.

sonic the hedgehog is one person. one concept. one thing.

a guy who loves adventure.

he is not the villain of his own story. he is not so sickeningly sweet it surprises even his little sibling. he is not so cruel and antisocial that he leaves people behind for months, refusing to talk for any reason other than personal amusement.

he is annoying. he is bothersome. he is pushy, and loud, and deeply immature.

he is frozen in time.

when shadow met him, he was all of these things. he still is. he always will be. he doesn't change. he doesn't grow.

amy grew two feet taller and has a part-time job, tails grew three feet and looks like an entirely new person. knuckles adopts a new fashion style every month.

sonic doesn't change. he has new clothes, but they're the same style he's had them in since they first met. he has a new cane, but that's just an accessory, it's nothing unique, it doesn't mean anything.

he's a superhero wannabee, a one-trick pony, the same phrase repeated over and over and over again.

maria used to tell shadow she saw monsters. not just the regular ones under the bed or in the closet, but standing in the hallway and staring at her, whispering gibberish nonsense words until she ran away, trying not to cry.

sonic told him that it has schizophrenia, apparently. some kinda mental disorder 'categorized by hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinkin' and behavior, and flat or inappropriate affect'.

he laughed. maybe a little maniacally.

'how's that for flat?'

shadow said it absolutely was inappropriate. sonic challenged him to a race. shadow told him only if you're prepared to lose, and the two fought for hours.

they did this constantly. at least once a week. 'enjoying' each other's presence, battling their way to the top.

this routine has been changed. shattered. because one day, sonic just wasn't home.

he could grow. he could change.

he could leave

but, half a week later, he comes back, running up from behind shadow as he takes a cruise on the dark rider, scaring the shit out of him by nearly running backwards into a building

it says it heard about that race he wanted. shadow tells him the offer's off. not taking no for an answer, it says it invites him to a race.

he accepts.