#you are on the 'none of Hunter's outfit choices are bad he just doesn't have the charisma to pull them off' blog

[sergeantsporks]

Hunter’s never gonna live down the goddamn Lightning McQueen shoes

What do you mean, "live them down" his Lightning McQueen shoes are so rad

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: The Star Wars Holiday Special

Hi, Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today We Are Doing The Last Review Of This Year's Yultide Reviews...

All Right, Let's Get This Over With...The Star Wars Holiday Special...

Released 1 Year After The Success Of A New Hope, This Special Sees Wookie Chewbacca, Racing Home To Kashyyk On Board The Millennium Falcon With Han Solo So He Can Celebrate The Wookie Holiday, Life Day With His Family...

So, What Are We Waiting For Let's Dive Into The Star Wars Holiday Special...

The Special Starts On-Board The Millenium Falcon, As Han Solo (Played By Harrison Ford) Attempts To Get Chewbacca Home To Kashyyk For The Annual Wookie Holiday Known As Life Day But Unfortunately They're Been Chased By 2 Imperial Star Destroyers, Which Except For The Stuff In The Cockpit Of The Falcon With Ford And Chewbacca, Is Just Stock Footage From A New Hope...

Going To Hyperspace, We Get The Star Wars Theme And Our Credits Before We're Transported To Chewbacca's Home On Kashyyk Where We Meet Chewbacca's Wife, Malla, His Father, Itchy And His Son, Lumpy And From There It's Downward Spiral Down The Crapper As From Then Forward We Get Nothing But Wookie Talk With

No Subtitles!...

Now, While It Bothers Some People, It Doesn't Bother Me As Much Because My Family Likes Chewbacca, He's My Mom's Favorite Character And While He's Not Mine, I Don't Mind Him As Much So The Wookie Roars In This Special Isn't As Annoying To Me And My Family As It Is For Everyone Else...

Now I Know What Your Starting To Think That This Is Going To Be A Repeat Of My Haunted Mansion Review Where Thought That While Some Things Were Bad In The Film It Wasn't A Completely Horrible Movie Like Most Haunted Mansion Fanatics Would Make People Believe Well, Believe Me When I Say That It's Not Going To Be Like That It's Just That That Particular Thing Doesn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else...

But What Does Bother Me However, Is That Through These Characters We Get Very Little Of A Narrative Or A Story Out Of Them And Instead We Have To Revolve Around The Side Characters (Like The Guy Art Carney Plays, Luke, R2, Leia, 3PO, Han And Vader) To Tell The Story For Us When Really It's Supposed To Be About Chewbacca And His Family And Nothing And Nobody Else...

Anyway As We Watch Chewbacca's Family, We See That They're Like Most Families Back Then With Grandpa Itchy Making Models, Son Lumpy Playing With His Toys And Mom Malla Working In The Kitchen To Make Dinner For Life Day...

But When Malla Asks Lumpy To Take Out The Trash, He Goes For A Wookie Cookie (I Guess) But (Like All Moms Back Then) Malla Tells Lumpy To Put It Back Or Else He'll Ruin His Dinner Only For Lumpy To Take It Anyway...

Taking Out The Trash After Swiping The Wookie Cookie, Lumpy Decides To Do A Balancing Act Before Our Very Eyes Before Cutting Back To The Inside Of The House...

It's Like Why Did We Stick On That For A Few Minutes?...

Looking At A Picture Of Chewbacca It's Obvious That Malla Misses Her Husband, But With Itchy Knowing That His Son Will Be Here Soon, He Asks Malla To Return To The Kitchen To Work On Dinner...

Attempting To Keep Lumpy Distracted, Itchy Gives Lumpy A Holodisk To Watch On The Space Chess Board (I Say That As It Looks Like The Chess Board That's On-Board The Millennium Falcon) Which Shows...I Don't Know What...It Looks Like A Mix Of Dancing And Gymnastics...

Asking For Lumpy To Watch Dishes After Watching That, Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Checks For Spaceships In The Area Only For Her To Find None, This Leads Her To Contact Luke Skywalker And R2-D2 Who Are Working On A Part For Luke's X-Wing...

Asking Luke About Chewbacca, He Tells Malla That Him And Han Left On Schedule And If They're Not There Now Then They're Way Overdue And May Be In Trouble. But Luke Tells Them Not To Worry As It Just May Be Taking Them A Little Bit Longer To Get There As R2 Causes The Part To Burst With Heat Enough To Damage Luke's Face Which Forced Him To Get Plastic Surgery So He Would Look Like This In The Sequel...

Hey, It's A Better Story Than What They Came Up With For Empire...

But Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Calls The Owner Of The Trading Post On Kashyyk, Saun Dann Played By Art Carney Who Is Busy Dealing With An Imperial Officer In His Store But Tells Her In His Own Way That Chewie Is 4 Planets Away With Han And It's Going To Take A Few For Them To Get There...

Meanwhile On Board A Star Destroyer, We See Darth Vader Talking With An Officer, Saying That He Wants Those Rebels Found Even If They Have To Search Every House In The System...

Back At The Chewbacca Household, Malla Continues Working On Dinner With The Help Of A Gourmet Cooking Show Hosted By A 4 Armed Cook, Played By Harvey Korman Which Is Just One Of The Annoying Skits That I Don't Like In This Special...

Meanwhile In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Are Now Dealing With Tie Fighters After Losing The 2 Star Destroyers (Including The One That Vader Was On)

But Back On Kashyyk, An Imperial Announcement Appears Telling Everyone That The Empire Has Declared Martial Law On The Planet, With A Blockade Guarding It And That Until Further Notice, No Ships Are Allowed To Land Or Take Off Until Further Notice...

Hearing A Knock On The Door, Malla And Her Family Worry That It Maybe Stormtroopers But Instead It's Saun Dann, With A Proton Pack For The Mine Evaporator (Or For Ghostbusting, Whichever) Noticing Their Sad Faces Because Of The Announcement, Saun Tells Chewie's Family Not To Worry For If He Got Through Imperial Stormtroopers Than Chewie Might Be Able To Too...

Giving Chewie's Family Life Day Gifts, Malla Gets A Machine We'll See Later, Lumpy, A Transmitter That Will Give Us Nothing But Boredom Later And Itchy, A...Well, It's Supposed To Be A Virtual Reality Machine But Really It's Nothing But A Big Fat Porn Box!

And It's In This Porn Box, We Meet Diahann Carroll Who Sings A Song In This World Of Virtual Reality...

But After That Mind Sticking Scene, Princess Leia And C-3PO Call Malla To Talk With Han And Chewie But Malla (Through 3PO's Translation) Tells Them That They're Not There...

Asking If Malla Is Alone, Malls Tells Them That She Is Not And Brings Saun Dann To The Viewing Screen To Talk With Leia Who Asks Saun To Stay With Them Until Chewie Gets There To Which He Agrees...

Back In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Arrive On Kashyyk, Only To Notice Imperial Ships Around Which Forces Han To Land On The Far Side Of Kashyyk...

Hearing What Sounds Like The Millenium Falcon, Lumpy Opens The Door To Discover, Stormtroopers!...

And A Few Imperial Troops Who Are Looking For Han And Chewie And Search The Premises...

Coming Across The Device, Saun Got Malla For Life Day, Saun Turns It On For One Of The Imperial Troops To See Only To Discover...Jefferson Starship!...

After That Pointless Scene, Saun Dann Is Forced To Leave By The Imperial Troops As He Has No Purpose To Be There. With The Troops Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Watches A Cartoon While They Do...

This Cartoon Actually Is The First Appearance Of The Bounty Hunter Boba Fett...

Done Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Goes Upstairs To Find Not Just His Room But All Of His Toys Destroyed So, He Decides To Get Rid Of The Imperial Troops By Using His New Transmitter But Unfortunately He Has To Put It Together So We Unfortunately Have To Sit Through An Instructional Video On How To Put It Together With A Malfunctioning Emorphient Being (Played Again By Harvey Korman) Giving The Instructions...

And How Do I Feel About This Scene? Well, I Think The Nostalgia Critic Said My Opinion Exactly...

(Start At 15:16, End At 15:48)

If By Any Chance You Get Your Brain Unzombified After Watching That Skit, We Get Another Skit Showing Us Life On Tatooine, Which Sends Us To The Cantina Where We Meet The Owner, Ackmina (Played By Bea Arthur) Who Is Approached By An Alien Named Krelman (Played By Guess Who, Harvey Korman) Who Has A Crush On Her Over Something That She Said To Him That He Misunderstood...

But When An Imperial Announcement Stating That Until Further Notice There Is To Be A Nightly Curfew On Tatooine, Ackmina Has No Choice To Close The Bar But Not Before Offering One Last Round To Her Patrons, Which Leads Into A Song...

(End At 4:46)

Now What Do I Think About This Skit? I Think It's One Of The Best (And Only) Good Skit In This Special And If There Was A Reason To See This Abomination Of A Special, It Would Be For This Skit...

But Moving On, Lumpy Activates His Transmitter To Lead The Imperial Troops Away But He Is Caught By One Of The Stormtroopers Who Stays Behind Because Of Orders From One Of The Imperial Soliders And Destroys The Transmitter. Chasing Lumpy, The Stormtrooper Is Confronted By Chewbacca And Han Who Disarms The Stormtrooper Of His Weapon So Han Can Make The Trooper Fall Off Of The House Apparently...

With Everything All Right Again, Han Can't Stay As He's Got To Get Back To The Falcon Before Someone Stumbles Across It...

(Harrison Ford) Okay, I Gotta Go Somebody's Waving A Check For Me Outside, Bye...

After Han Leaves, Saun Dann Returns Again To Tell Chewbacca And His Family Not To Worry About Imperial Soliders As They Left, However Another Announcement Comes Over The Tv Stating That The Empire Is Looking For The Stormtrooper Who The Imperial Soliders Left Behind But It's Quickly Taken Care Of By Saun Dann Who Tells The Empire That After The Imperial Soliders Left The Trooper Behind He Stole Food From Chewie's Family And Robbed Saun Dann Blind Before Running Off...

Telling Them To Have A Good Life Day And...

Saun Dann Leaves, As We See Chewbacca And His Family Start Their Life Day Celebrations By Grabbing Balls Of Light Which Place Them In Red Choir Outfits Which Somehow Make Them And Other Wookies Walk Through Space Into A Bright Sun Or Something? I Don't Know What's Going On Here But Somehow They All End Up In Front Of A Big Tree Which Is Supposed To Be The Tree Of Life, I Guess...

But I Surely Don't Know What George Lucas Or Whoever Wrote This Was Smoking But That Defiantly Does Not Look Like The Tree Of Life At Disney's Animal Kingdom...

Reunited With His Friends, R2-D2, C-3PO, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker And Han Solo, Princess Leia Gives A Speech...

(Start At 1:03,End At 3:03)

After That We Get Some Footage From A New Hope, Including Scenes With Alec Guinesss (Who Thanks His Lucky Stars He Wasn't In This Special) And We See Chewie And His Family Sitting Down For Life Day Dinner As Our Special Ends...

And That's The Star Wars Holiday Special And Yeah, It's Horrible...

I'm Serious, Folks It's Bad And The People We Can Blame For That Are Definitely Harvey Korman And Diahann Carroll Otherwise I Didn't Mind The Stuff With The Original Cast, Art Carney Wasn't Bad, The Bea Arthur Skit Was One Of The Highlights (Despite Harvey Korman Being In It) And The Chewbacca's Family (Despite Not Understanding Them) Weren't Abysmal And Didn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else Because I'm Used To Wookie Sounds. If You Must Watch It, Watch It For The Bea Arthur Cantina Scene Otherwise This Is One To Skip...

Well, With Christmas Now Behind Us, It Means Back To Reviewing As Usual And What A Way To Come Back Then To Look At Something I've Been Dying To Talk About, Till Then, This Is Duke, Saying Have A Happy New Year And See You In January...

Coming In January...

The Marvel Cinematic Universe!