#you always gotta be careful with therapists and go with your gut on if they're safe to share that with
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God, dealing with the phone side of things with therapy today just wiped the life out of me. Just woke up maybe half an hour ago at most and... as is often the case, woke up with a lowgrade sinus headache
Don't know what causes it, I've been on antibiotics plenty of times since cleaning the trailer but... kinda think cleaning that did something to my sinuses... I don't know
Also it's a shame it's the end of the year cause my next appointment isn't till the 9th, but uh... no offense to Rob cause he was a good dude and just a bad fit for me at that time, but... kinda feel like this therapist will be a much better fit
(She raised an eyebrow when I told the whole "what if they push the cake into the trash and say 'I hate cake' " thing he said when trying to convince me to throw out some cake mixes my mom bought)
So I'm alright, but I'm tired and... I don't know...
#at least this was someone where I could explain yeah I'm suicidal but I'm suicidal everyday and yet I'm still here so...#and she wants to talk about that more in the next session; but at least... you know... I'm walking free and all#you always gotta be careful with therapists and go with your gut on if they're safe to share that with#cause like... I've literally helped someone do in patient stuff before cause it's what they wanted#but for me it does a lot more harm than good; so I will lie and cheat and steal to avoid it if it comes down to it#nice thing about remote appointments is... what're you gonna do? call the cops? I'll just say sorry officer#I'm great; I don't own a gun; therapist must have misunderstood me I was just saying 'fuck me I want to die' about my day#it's just an exasperated phrase; you know? ... and then I would cut things off with the therapist#but... thankfully don't seem to need to worry about that here#but yeah... you ain't never getting me in in patient ever again#unrelated but the good news is that despite how closed off I got with Rob; turns out I'm still an open book in therapy
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