#you already offer me so much support i really don't understand HOW i've deserved but like

[jackdup]

Us rolling over over here with a handful of stars and hearts to spread all over when you deserve all of the best!!! Sammyyyy it must be said that you are truly one of the coolest and sweetest folks to exist ever!!! You're always very kind and lovely to us and those around you. Anyone would be so blessed to get to meet you and have you as a friend. Your presence is as warm as the sun and bright as infinite stars! Whenever we get a notification or a reply from you, it's like getting a quick happy hug! I always get so happy when we see you on dash or notifs while we always wish you the best of all. It's always an absolute joy chatting with you as well while I enjoy all of our conversations that we have so far. Your portrayals are wonderful, also! You're so passionate and dedicated to every muses you pick up, I'm constantly amazed by the endless love and care you put out in their dialogues, personalities, general headcanons, etcetera. Like with Timothy for an example, I can always be able to envision him perfectly from your incredible writings and even your headcanons speak volume of his character so amazingly well. Truly, do you make everything and everywhere so much more funner and brighter. No places can be the same without ya! The world needs more kind folks like you. We're super duper happy we could meet and befriend ya, Samstar! You're so amazing. Thank you for being an amazing friend and person overall! We're sending you so much love and light, always!!! 💖✨💖✨💖✨

@devours || ‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

(/ε＼*) you guuuuuys !!! 💖

first of all, did you just . . . know I was heading into a bad week or something? (◕‸ ◕✿) i s2g, the timing for this sweet and most loving message is insane in the way that you legit sent it right when i needed it and i'm legit in shock over that gnhajogdhnjao you're truly too incredible in too many ways and i cannot even being to express how much this means to me in general, but especially right now—

thank you thank you thank you!! (⺣◡⺣)♡*

i realize i'm a broken record at this point, but i do in turn want you to know how much you guys mean to me and how grateful i am that i met you ! (´⌣`ʃƪ) you're one of the first people i've engaged in a long thread with on timmy's account, and i'll never forget how welcoming and supportive you were from the very start (and continue to prove to be!). it warms my heart that not only were tim and micah able to just so immediately click together, but we as their writers had the same thing happen, and it really lends itself to a long-term friendship here that i'm so excited to have the privilege to pursue with you! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

your talent is immeasurable, okay? i can't possibly say that enough. your presence is always a warmth on my dash i value so much, and i love that you're always just so pleasant and encouraging to all of your rp partners. it's something this site definitely needs more of, so thank you for setting a great example for all of us. ♡

sending so much love and light back atcha! thank you again so so much for this sweet message! it's definitely brightened a stressful week!

[lycandrophile]

sorry about the out of nowhere ask but i thought id note something minor ive seen around: a lot of the time (especially on reddit) theres a lot of positivity for specifically trans women, and very little for trans men. and if a trans man/transmasc person tries to comment on that they get ridiculed for it. but then if someone posts transmasc positivity at all, people in the comments of that post will talk about how there "isnt enough positivity for trans women" despite the fact that most of the positivity posted is for trans women. i dont know, just something weird (it could also just be because reddit is kinda really different, environment-wise, but considering theres been similar things pretty much. everywhere else. yeah)

i do think a lot of this has to do with demographics – from what i've seen, reddit tends to have more trans women than trans men, so it doesn't surprise me to see more posts that are geared toward trans women there.

tl;dr because this got super long: people are right to say that there isn't enough positivity for trans women, but there also isn't enough for trans men. the fact that so many of us are ridiculed for trying to put more out there is the real problem.

at the end of the day, there really isn't enough positivity for any trans people because most of the world either hates us or wants to forget we exist. we have our little pockets of community where we support each other and lift each other up, but until the rest of society gets on board, it'll never be enough. so even in spaces where there's more positivity for trans women than for trans men, they're absolutely right to say there isn't enough positivity for trans women! and that's why i don't inherently have a problem with spaces like that – trans joy and positivity is always a good thing and always needed, and spreading that for part of the community doesn't take away from the rest of the community, it just means there's some of us are bit closer to getting the kind of love and support they deserve than they were before, and that's a good thing! you can't make everything for everyone, but if we all work at lifting each other up, eventually it'll all balance out and we'll all be better off for it. so if you happen to find a space that's for all trans people but tends to be more geared toward trans women when it comes to positivity, instead of getting caught up in how much positivity for trans women is already there, i think the best thing to do is to add positivity for trans men! we're the ones who lift each other up, so if we see a gap in the support, we're the ones with the power to step in and fill that gap.

and i can honestly understand why trans women in those spaces might get defensive or upset if someone points out the amount of positivity for trans women as if it's a bad thing, even if what that person is actually trying to say is just that they wish there was more for trans men too. i can't really blame anyone for that defensiveness because i feel the exact same way when people point out the amount of positivity for trans men&mascs here as if it's a bad thing, even though i know a lot of them are really just expressing in an imperfect way that they wish there was more for other trans people as well. wanting to defend those sources of joy in a world that offers us so few of them is only natural.

now, all of that being said, what i absolutely DO have a problem with is when that defensiveness gets to the point of attacking trans men's efforts to add positivity for ourselves as well. it perpetuates these false ideas that 1) there's only a finite amount of trans joy that can be expressed and we have to fight over it, and 2) trans men are currently hoarding that finite resource and are obligated to give it up entirely so that other trans people have a chance at getting it. obviously, both of those statements are deeply untrue – one part of the community getting support doesn't take anything away from other trans people because we should all be aiming for more support and positivity, not just redistributing the inadequate amount we currently have to more "worthy" subjects, and it's impossible to quantify how much support each part of the community gets because that's so dependent on the individual spaces you're looking at as well as what you're counting as support. and as much as i can understand feeling protective of our spaces, when that protectiveness leads us to turn on each other and push each other out of spaces that were supposed to be for all of us, that's taking it way too far.

and i also do think there's an attitude in a lot of trans spaces (and in more general queer/feminist/leftist/activist spaces) that trans men are a more acceptable target for that kind of ridicule because we're men and people in those spaces tend to already be very settled into this idea that there's never a bad time to tell men to sit down and shut up, even when the men in question are marginalized and trying to fight against their own oppression. if someone says "ugh there's too much positivity for trans women here," that's going to be met with a lot of people (rightfully) saying "hey, what the hell, man, that's super transmisogynistic." but if the same is said about trans men, those same people have no problem saying "i know, right? men love taking everything for themselves, it's the worst."

and that kind of attitude even extends to trans men simply creating positivity in spaces that don't have as much of it, even if they don't comment at all on the other kinds of positivity that might exist in that space. especially if we dare to add specific mentions of trans men onto an existing positivity post (which isn't actually a bad thing at all! adding more good to a good post doesn't take anything away from the original good!), we're met with a chorus of "wow, why do men always have to make everything about themselves, can't women have anything?" it's a perspective that groups us in with cis men as this privileged horde that talks over everyone else and seeks to dominate every space it enters, completely ignoring the fact that the image of loud domineering men they're invoking is based on cis(het white abled) men who've spent their whole lives being told they're the most important people in every room, which is very different from trans men who were brought up being taught to make ourselves small and be of service to more important people. they forget (or simply choose to ignore) that when we're loud about our needs and experiences and even our joy, it's not because taking up space was a practice passed down to us by our manhood, it's because we had to learn to be loud when we realized that staying quiet meant making it easier for the people who hate us to dispose of us without the rest of the world even noticing our absence.

all of that to say, i absolutely do think you've hit on a real issue here, i just don't think that issue actually has to do with the prevalence of positivity for trans women. it's a lot less about who gets more or less support in any given space, and a lot more about how those spaces react when the less represented groups start making their presence known. and yeah, a lot of trans spaces have some pretty damn awful reactions to trans men who literally just want to lift each other up and feel supported by our community in return.

[drdemonprince]

I have Borderline personality disorder and deal with chronic suicidal ideation. up to 10% of us *will* die by suicide. not *might* or *are more likely to.* *will.* which is 50 times greater than the general populace. it's hard to talk about and even harder to deal with bc it's such a heavy topic. the best thing, I think, is to just listen to somebody who is suicidal. let them talk about it. don't offer solutions, none of that "you have so much to live for" shit. the best thing you can say is "I understand how you feel." yeah I might think about suicide every day, but that doesn't mean I'll just suddenly pop and kms. suicides are largely decided within half an hour, and even more are decided within minutes. help a suicidal person feel grounded, let them know that you respect their decision should they follow through. they know that it's not the only way.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, anon. I would caution you very strongly to not take psychiatry's profoundly flawed and biased statistics as a predictive declaration of your fate, however.

*Will* makes it sound unchangeable no matter a BPDer's circumstances -- and given that psychiatry already operates out of the stereotype that BPDers are "incurable" (and therefore not worth much effort in helping), it's subject to a ton of bias. statistically, we can't actually say that a person "will" die of something like suicide with any certainty, as it's not a simple progressive illness like a cancer or something. suicide risk is dynamic and influenced by a person's social support, relationship dynamics, financial situation, whether they're on medications that exacerbate or help things, their trauma recovery, all kinds of things that *are* mutable.

Psychologists and psychiatrist are taught downright cruel things about people with BPD -- i've been in those programs, i've heard things that have shocked me -- and it leads to profound isolation, internalized stigma, and sometimes unnecessary death. many providers give up on ya'll or make things worse for you when they have no right to do that, and they're taught that it's the most yall deserve. that's part of why the suicide risk for BPDers is so consistent.

A person ought to have the freedom to choose death and preventing all suicides is not a respectful goal. I am a harm reductionist and supporter of body autonomy to the maximum. my point here is that when psychiatry says you and people like you "will" die by suicide 10% of the time, what they mean is that that's the general trend they have observed, and they have decided that because of their (bigoted, hateful, scientifically unsupported) belief that yall can never feel better that it's a loss they are okay with accepting.

Anyone who has heard nothing but negative things about BPD I would strong recommend pick up a copy of the book Psychiatric Hegemony.

Sorry for the aside and the rant, but I really want to make that reality exactingly clear. Living with suicide ideation doesn't mean a person can't have a worthwhile life, or that their existence wasn't meaningful and important however long or short that it was.

[russellsppttemplates]

We're in this together, mon amour (Pierre Gasly)

There are times harder than others, but Pierre is making sure he's always there for his wife

Note: english is not my first language. this is my long piece in ehat feels like a lifetime, I hope I can still do it well enough, and, like usual, I like to say this to make it clear: this request is special because this is a topic that I feel huge responsibility writing about and I feel grateful that I'm trusted enough to have it be requested (and you don't need to feel anxious or scared to submit things like this, this is not a learning platform necessarily, nor I am a teacher, but I'm more than happy to write about these things and materialise some ideas you have). As I've said before, I hate the whole idea of labelling, but I also know and understand how important it is to see some of you and your characteristics portrayed in a character.

I'm very happy and proud of you for making progress about it too ✨️🤍

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated, and I'm slowly trying to get back to taking requests, and I am writing some blurbs when I can, so if you have any ideas or concepts that can be written in a small amount of sentences and you want to share, feel free to do so!

Tw: mentions mental health issues (anxiety symptoms, self-doubt), going to therapy, family issues

You arrived home after another day at work, hoping that you could put this week behind you and go into the weekend to relax. You could count on one hand the moments this week where you didn't feel completely on edge. Work was going through a busy time and despite being very happy that the company was growing and your work was being valued, it did pile up with everything else. And could you really complain about your home life? You had a supportive husband, way more supportive than you feel like you deserve and with everything else happening, it just created all these thoughts that would not leave your mind, no matter how much you tried and insisted they would leave.

Maybe a shower would help, you thought, going upstairs to the ensuite and grabbing your favourite products in hopes they would make you feel better. You stripped out of your work clothes and placed them in the hamper, putting some music on your phone so you could have something else occupying your mind when you noticed a message from your husband, saying he would be home later than expected since the sponsor meeting had evolved to a drinks and food situation, apologising for the sudden change of plans with an I love you in the end.

Walking inside the cabin, the water distracted you for about two minutes before everything came back up, thoughts of how you could be the wife to be there with him, supporting him while in big crowds, not needing to take a few moments away because it was getting too much. And maybe how he could do so much better, how he could easily have someone to do that for him without any trouble, and yet he chose you to spend the rest of his life with. And the feeling that settles in your chest makes it harder for you to breathe, harder for you to think and distract yourself so you push your back against the cold wall, the feeling so shocking to your senses that it just about got you back to yourself so you could wash your hair and body and get out.

You were in the bedroom, putting your pyjamas on when you heard Pierre's footsteps going up the stairs, "Amour, are you in the bedroom? I was wondering if you wanted to go and grab something to eat", he said before he entered the bedroom, "Oh, pyjamas already?", he asked in a neutral tone, but to you, it was the last straw. Tears started falling down and your legs started to shake as you tried your best to calm down, Pierre already kneeled in front of you, "hey, amour, hey, what's wrong?", he made you look at him, "breathe with me", he instructed, "there you go, you can talk whenever you want to", he offered as soon as you seemed to calm down, "but I will need you to tell me what's going on", he said before getting up only to sit next to you on the bed.

"I've been feeling a lot of things recently, and they're not very good", you began, "and I know I should've told you, but I don't want to bother you", and Pierre tapped your hand twice, something he had been doing for a while whenever he wanted you to know he had something to say whenever you were talking, "you will never be a bother, Y/N, you can tell me how you're feeling", he brushed some hairs out of your forehead.

Sighing, you looked up at the ceiling before speaking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm too much for you, I'm either too much work, too much drama...and I get scared one day I'll be too much for you to handle, I'm sorry I'm like this", you shared. It had always been there, a small impostor's syndrome almost where you didn't feel like you could even compare to the another drivers' partners, but recently it had all become a bit more obvious in your eyes. Your wedding had been full on Pierre's side, whilst your side was a lot smaller, consisting mainly of friends and some family members who you still had a good relationship with, everyone seemed to be wondering when you'd have a little one when there were days you felt you could barely care for yourself, people often commented and you were and when you weren't in the paddock, whatever attendance trend not satisfying their curiosity.

Pierre gulped. You had never shared this with him, not with this much emphasis. Anytime you'd feel a little more insecure, he would shower you with love, and he thought it had been enough.

"None of that is true, my love", he began, "I can assure you that. I love you no matter what", he stated, "You'll never be too much for me", Pierre assured you as he held your hand in his, making sure you kept looking at him, "there's nothing in this world than I won't do for you to make sure you feel good and well", he noted, "I- I didn't know you felt like this, I'm sorry for not noticing it".

You looked at him, seeing the hurt in his eyes, "I didn't mean to hurt you. See? This is what I mean, everything is taking a toll, now you're not feeling good about it, and it's all my fault", you took a deep breath, "hey, amour. You don't have to feel guilty about his, okay? Above anything else, I want you to be okay, so we can be okay, too. You just have to let me know", he said as he managed to hold your gaze in his, "I was thinking the other day, maybe I should go back to therapy. I stopped because I felt really good but maybe it's time to go back", you said.

Softly rubbing your cheek, Pierre spoke first, "if you think that will help, mon amour, we'll go just now, I would take you if I could right now", he said, bringing a small smile to your face, "I'll be by your side through it all, amour".

.

"Do you want me to pick you up after your appointment?", Pierre asked, looking at the calendar you had on your home office's wall, "Oh yes, that would be good actually. The mechanic said my car wouldn't be ready until the day after tomorrow", you smiled before closing a file you were working on.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something", he began, grabbing your attention, continuing once you nodded, "I've been wondering about other ways to help you, and I was wondering, with you permission of course, if I could talk to your therapist. Not to know what you discuss in the sessions, but rather to know more about the whole thing. Like, how I can help you and know all the signs and things. This with your permission, of course", he said. You gave it a thought, "I'm okay with it. I know my psychologist won't break the ethical code. But do you want to do that?", you wondered, "I want to know more of how I can help you. I want you to be as comfortable and happy as possible, and while I know a few things, there are more things that maybe she can tell me. I want to be able to help you to the best of my abilities", he said as he cradled your cheek, "but only if you're okay with it", he reiterated. Smiling at him, with small happy tears in your eyes, you mimicked his stance with your own hands, thumbs rubbing his stubbly cheek, "I love you, so much. Thank you for always being here for me", you said before allowing your arms to change position and hug your husband, arms circling his body, "you and me until the end, ma belle".

.

"There were some difficult questions today", you said to Pierre over the phone, "but I'm getting better at talking about it", you said, watching his face in the videocall, "I'm so proud of you, mon amour", he said, "It's nothing really, that's just-", you were interrupted by him, "it is big, and even if it was a small thing, you're working on it", he smiled.

"You've been a really big part, too", you winked, "I'm just making sure my wife knows the truth, that she is worth everything, that she is capable of anything, and most importantly, I try everyday to make you feel the happiness and love you deserve", he smiled.

.

"Do you still want to go for dinner tonight?", Pierre asked as he adjusted the sleeves on his shirt, having noticed you had been particularly quiet since getting home from work, "do you mind if we stay in tonight? I know you were really excited, and I was really excited too but work was too much today, and a lot of people were talking and I-", you were interrupted by your husband, "you don't have to explain yourself if you don't want to, mon amour. Was it something I did that I can make better?", he asked as you shook your head no, "was it something you had total control over?", he asked again, "no, I couldn't do more than take a few breaks and distract myself when I felt overwhelmed", you said as you saw him smile, "exactly. So we can control this now, and we can stay in. Do you want to make food together or order in?".

.

"Are you feeling okay? We can leave early if you want to", Pierre whispered in your ear as you walked to the table in the restaurant the team had rented out to celebrate the recent positive results, "I'm okay, so far so good", you smiled at his attentiveness, kissing his hand that was laced with yours as you sat down and greeted everyone at the table.

Pierre came back from using the bathroom when he noticed you weren't inside the room anymore, going up to where you were sitting and asking for you, "Y/N took Maisie outside, we are discussing some things for the next meeting and she took her outside with her to see the stars", Elise from the engineering team said before Pierre made his way to the outside garden of the restaurant, wanting to know where and how you were.

"Oh, there you are, Y/N", he said, looking for any sign of discomfort in your body language, but only finding you comfortable looking up at the stars with the little girl in your arms as she tried to grab them, "She was getting a little bit cranky, bless her", you explained, seeing the worried creases on his forehead soften, "so I thought we could come outside and see the stars and the moon while the adults talked about boring engineering things", you smiled as Maisie seemed to pay attention to your husband now, "are you looking at Pierre? He's very handsome, right?", you tapped her nose and she let out a delicious giggle, earning giggles from both of you in return.

"I thought you might have not felt good inside, I was worried for a second there", Pierre explained, "I was fine, everyone was lovely as usual, but she was getting a bit restless and Elise and Tom couldn't keep her entertained, so I said I could take her if they'd like", you said as you felt Maisie cuddle into your chest, her hands grasping the material of your shirt, "and she's really fighting sleep, aren't you, little monkey?", you said as you softly stroked her cheek, "you need to sleep, little one", Pierre offered as he started walking, hoping that the steady movement would help her fall asleep easily.

"I'm very proud of you", Pierre began talking, "I can only imagine how hard things still can be for you, but you work everyday to get better at it and to be better, and that makes me so happy and proud of you", he said as he circled his arm around your waist and kissed the side of your head, mindulf of the little girl who whose eyes were becoming droopier by the minute, "thank you, you know I would've not done it without you", you looked at him, "a lot of it comes down to me, I know, but having you there makes it easier", you finished, puckering your lips so he could kiss them, "we're in this together, mon amour", he offered before a snore was heard, the both of you cooing at the sight of Maisie asleep, leaving you to think once again about kids. It had been going on for a while, especially now that you felt a lot more in control and like you could deal better with your day to day thoughts. "Hey, my love, I've been thinking about something lately, and you obviously have a say in this, but I've been thinking about one of our own", you voiced your thoughts, knowing that your relationship was an open and comfortable place for you to share them without any judgement from your husband, "I know there's still some work to do, and quite frankly there will always be, but I've been thinking about it and it doesn't scare me like it did before, I actually look forward to every moment", you finished your ramble, looking for any sign of disagreement in Pierre's face, finding only a big smile, "whenever you are ready, mon amour, you just let me know and we can start practicing for a little Gasly", he laughed, squeezing your body against is, "seeing you with a baby on your arms is making me absolutely ready", he whispered in your ear, "hey, small ears are within hearing capacity!", you suddenly felt shy, "what? I'm promising her a little friend to play with in the paddock next year!".

[kodared]

☆ Welcome home Neighbor~! ☆

----------

Human Reader x Welcome Home!

ENDING 1

“Yes, it does matter Angelica.”

Chapter 15/16

Word Count: 5,145 out of 49,687

----------

She looked at you with a frustrated expression, her nose crinkling as she grimaced.

     “You wouldn't know. You weren't there. Before you showed up everything was perfect.”

“Perfect for you , not for them. They don't even remember their old lives, Angelica.” 

“And They don't need to remember them!” 

You kneeled staring at Angelica. Her chest heaving as she grasped at her pigtails. 

It reminded you of when you were overwhelmed once. You were always one bad customer or one loud noise away from tearing your hair out as well. 

But she was just a child. 

She doesn't understand the permanence of death, or what it means to lose oneself. 

She didn't deserve any of this. Her father. Her death. Any of it.

So you did the one thing you wish everyone else did. 

During days when all you wished for was a gentle hand or a loving embrace. 

Days you spent waiting for your friends to call. 

Hours spent in your room mindlessly scrolling.  

Minutes spent sitting on the couch waiting for your parents to care. 

The many seconds you passed heaving and grieving for a life you've barely begun.

Thick tears of empathy dragged down your face as you carefully shuffled closer to Angelica. They left an uncomfortable sticky feeling on your cheeks. 

You wanted to comfort her. 

“...Angelica, they'd still care for you even if you did give them back their memories..” 

“No, they wouldn't. They would hate me. I just know it!..” 

“They were nice to you when they were alive weren't they?” 

Angelicas' grip loosened on her pigtails. They still clenched tightly on them, but it didn't look nearly as painful as before. 

“They were.. But that was before i turned into Home…. Before i made myself home.” 

“...Why don't you start fresh with them? Be open and honest, tell them who you are Angelica.” 

Angelica sighed and let her hair go, the spider that once sat on her shoulder was no longer there. The spider was reduced to nothing more than a splash of pitch-black ink on her shirt. 

“They would never love me again. Not after what i took,” 

“You can still give them so much though Angelica.” 

“You're more than what you were. Your friends… they're so much better than mine. They will come around in their own time.” 

You stood and offered her your hand, she stared at you for a few seconds before taking it.

She felt cold. 

But you didn't care about that. You held her hand with a gentle squeeze.

“Can i.. Start fresh with you first? You deserve to know how you got here.” 

“Of course.” 

Angelica took a deep breath and wiped the remnants of tears that still clung to her face. 

“When you first came to the factory, I wanted to scare you away. I've had to do it before, you weren't the first to explore.” 

“... But you were the first to look at me.”  

“Like… Really look at me, not just an off-handed glance before spray painting the walls. A look that made me feel seen. It reminded me of the look I was given by Wally when I first came to the studios. It was caring.” 

  You waited as she took a pause and looked up at you, her eyes still glossy from tears already shed. 

“I watched as you fell. The floors weren't steady enough to support you.” 

You could feel your brain slowly connecting the dots. Suddenly her cold hand was a lot more uncomfortable. 

“I had to take your soul like I did the others.” 

She had to.

She wanted to save you. 

She did what she needed to. 

Thoughts swirled in your head like a hurricane. 

What about my parents?

Or my friends?

Did they grieve me?

Did anyone even look for me? 

“Y/N please understand I was only trying to help. I tried taking your memories I really did! I thought you and Wally would get along so well so I!-” 

                      You let go of Angelicas' hand abruptly and staggered back. Your hands clasped firmly over your mouth to avoid letting out any noise. You just needed a minute.

A minute alone. 

Just one second where you could process what was going on.

Death was something that was always so far away from you in your normal life.

But now it was a fact.

You had died in that building.

That fucking building. 

You were only trying to impress your friends but look where it got you. Six feet under. 

You could hear Angelica trying to calm you down. For a child, she was eerily mature. That rubbed you the wrong way. Why was a child acting so mature? 

…Unless.

“...Are you really Angelica Domum.” 

Your voice was still shaky, and you now leaned against the wall away from her. You could feel the ink beyond the wall form around your back. It felt like a firm waterbed. 

“What do you mean?... Of course I am.” 

“How old are you?...” 

Angelica looked serious for a moment. Her face now contorting in a way you hadn't expected. 

“You're clever.” 

—---- ------------

Howdy could feel you shaking as you slept, he was worried for you. He had set up the bed downstairs while Eddie and Frank watched over you.

It had been a few days since your fight with home.  

All the neighbors were worried for you. Even Wally spent most of his time sitting by your side. 

Howdy let out a sigh and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. He was happy you came into his life. He felt a sense of protection over you ever since you arrived. 

He didn't know how long you would sleep for. Neither did Frank. 

It worried him that Frank didn't even know how long you would stay asleep. He knew the most about humans. 

Howdy sighed and stood to go to his own bed. He had spent the better half of the day making sure you slept soundly. He needed to rest. 

He walked towards the phone on the wall and went to dial Wally at Frank's house. They routinely switched off with watching over you, but as he picked up the phone his head hurt. 

Everything hurt. 

He fell on the wall, his hand taking the brunt of the impact before raising another and holding his head. 

An onslaught of memories flooded his mind. 

This wasnt his body. 

— --------

Rage gripped your being as you lunged for the creature disguised as the little girl. She had tricked you. 

Made you feel vulnerable. 

Made you sympathize with her. 

All the while she was just a ghost that haunted the studios. 

A vengeful girl.

Maybe an overworked writer.

Possibly an underappreciated janitor.

Less likely a corporate head for Playfellow. 

In front of you was none of those things though. 

In your eyes, all she was, or ever be would be. 

Was the monster keeping you and your friends under her thumb. 

You threw the first punch. It felt wrong punching a kid but you got over it quickly as she screamed and let out a sound that was anything but human. 

Her body recoiled as she staggered backward. The walls now slowly turning a messy grey instead of the stark white they once were. 

“Your wise yknow. I wouldve loved writing adventures for you and Frank.” 

You tried to ignore her words and lunged forward to throw another punch, only to feel her grab your fist. 

She looked up at you with a large, uncanny smile. 

“It's a shame your mind wasnt as vulnerable as the others.” 

She pushed you back with strength like you've never felt. Your torso slammed against the waterbed-like walls that had now begun to leak ink from the ceiling. 

You tried to catch your breath for a moment, but it was shortly lived as you watched Angelica raise her hand. 

Ink trickled down from the ceiling and began to take shape around her fist. Making a larger hand form. One that would put you out of commission for a long while. 

“You were so easy to trick though. Well! This has been fun Neighbor.”

“But I think it's time you take your final bow.” 

You tensed and squeezed your eyes shut tight. Anticipating a blow that would kill you again.

…Why aren't you in pain yet? 

You begrudgingly open your eyes and see Angelica frozen in place. The ink that once formed a fist now slowly dripping down her arm. You didn't sit confused for long. 

You followed her eyes to the wall behind you, which had begun to cave around your body. 

You must not have felt it in your state of pain and shock. 

Before Angelica could say anything, the ink on her fist caught fire. 

Just as Angelica let out a scream, the wall behind you burst. Quickly filling the room with ink. 

Before you had the chance to process anything, you were knocked out. 

Whether it was from the sheer force of the wall bursting, or from the shock your body had been put under you didn't know. 

– .------

Your head was spinning as you woke up. 

The floor you layed-...  

The material under you was too soft to be a floor. 

You tried to move your hand to feel under you, but you stopped after you felt pain shooting up your fingers and wrist. 

You groaned. The room was pitch black, and there was a small amount of pressure on your ankle. It wasnt uncomfortable, but it wasnt exactly a position you wanted to be in. 

The room smelt nostalgic. It reminded you of Howdys house. 

…. 

…Were you back at Howdys? 

You felt whatever was on your ankle shift. Before you had the chance to speak you heard someone running down steps before the lights clicked on. 

The room you were in was most definitely Howdys basement, you've slept here a multitude of times. 

One thing caught your attention though. 

There was a man at the top of the stairs. 

He was human. 

His outfit reminded you of Howdys, but not quite. He still wore his hat, but his hair was now a messily dyed blue on top of normal blonde. 

“Oh thank the stars you're okay!”

His voice was the same as Howdys. 

He ran down the steps and practically flung himself at you. You found yourself unable to protest. All the recent events of the day crashed down on you all at once. 

Sobs shook through you as you clung to the stranger. Small shivers ran through your body as you tried to mentally process everything that happened. 

“Youre alright now Y/N, ive gotcha” 

You took comfort in the hand that rubbed gentle circles onto your back. Until you heard a very familiar voice. 

“you've been asleep for a long time neig- y/n.” 

You almost pushed Howdy off in a state of panic. It was safe to assume by now the person holding you was Howdy. 

And the pressure you felt on your ankle was a sleeping Wally. Who was now also awake. 

“...How long?-” 

You let out a series of coughs as you tried to speak, your throat dry from days of not using it. 

“I'll grab ya some water!” 

Howdy was quick to run back upstairs to grab you water. Now that he no longer held you, you got a good look at Wally. 

He too was now human, and he looked downright exhausted.

He was a shorter man, his hair no longer curled up into a pompadour. It now hung loosely in his face, it reminded you of when you had a spa day with all of them. 

His skin was tan, and his left arm was wrapped in bandages that had specklings of blood seeping through them. That must've been from when you threw the scissors at him. 

“youve been asleep now for three days, we didn't think you would ever wake up,” 

You nodded and looked down at yourself to occupy your mind. Your arms were covered in bandages which stung every time you tried to move them. 

You remembered Sallys' stage burning down. It seems you didn't make it out as unscathed as you had hoped. 

The bandages were wrapped surprisingly well, much better than you'd expect from puppets. You guess they weren't puppets anymore, which begged a bigger question. 

“we tried to cover your burns the best we could… me and howdy that is, the others were too scared to help. they didn't want to hurt you more..” 

You didn't have the strength to nod back and acknowledge Wally after everything that happened, so you just fell back on the soft bed. 

It let out a dull squeak as you laid back. Wally laughed softly, it sounded genuine. 

“im… 'm sorry for everything that happened y/n. you should have never been dragged into this.”

  You forced words out of your mouth despite how badly it hurt to breathe and talk. 

“Did you know?” 

You craned your neck to look down at Wally, who still rested his hand on your ankle. He gently fidgeted with the blanket on top of you. 

“not for a long while. it felt like it was hidden by… fake memories, but you fixed that. i don't know how but you did. we all remembered, and the next day we were back to normal.” 

Wally sighed and laid his head back down on the bed as well. 

“as normal as you can be for being dead and being in limbo that is,” 

You wanted to console Wally. None of this was his fault either. 

Before you could speak though Howdy had begun to clamber down the stairs again. This time carrying a glass of water. 

“Sorry I took a minute!.. Had to fight off the others,” 

You smiled and tried to sit up again to take the water. Before you could Howdy was already by your side helping you to sit. He held the water to your mouth and you accepted his help. 

It hurt to move your body right now so you were thankful for all the help you could get. 

“...Thank you Howdy,” 

“ Don't mention it y/n, you've helped us all so much. It's the least I can do.” 

After drinking over half of the water, you backed away and watched Howdy set it down before continuing. 

“...What happened while I was out? I remember Sallys', but everything other than that was.. In my brain,” 

“When you passed out we all tried our best to keep you comfortable. On the second day though I got this splittin’ headache. Like.. fall over and clutch your antenna type of headache.” 

Wally sat back up, 

“then we all remembered. we remembered everything.” 

Howdy nodded, and you sat shocked. 

“We remembered dyin’ and we remembered being human. We didn't know what to do, but we knew it was Home's fault.” 

Wally looked at the bed solemnly and didn't say anything else. Howdy continued, 

“Barnaby was the angriest… He took it into his own hands and, well. Got rid of Home. He burnt the house down… Wallys been stayin’ here helpin' me look after you.” 

“... I'm sorry that happened Wally..” 

You felt for him, Home was a friend to him before you arrived. You couldn't imagine the emotional whiplash he was going through- 

“home deserved it.” 

…Or maybe not. 

“homes the reason our memories were blocked off for so long. im sad, but not for home. im sad you got involved. you didn't even work at the studios.” 

Howdy nodded, 

“We don't know why Home wanted you here with us Y/N. Selfishly I'm happy you came here. Without you, we wouldn't have remembered. None of us wouldve.” 

You heard the door open and hushed whispers erupting from the top of the steps. 

“ Quiet down!.. You're all bein’ louder than a rooster in the morning! I would know!” 

“Oh dear, I just can't help it! The poor dear must be starving after all that sleeping!..” 

“ Ms. Patridge I don't think they'd want cupcakes first thing in the mornin’..” 

You recognized Barnaby's voice in the beginning, the older southern voice had to be poppy. You could never forget Eddie's voice too, seems they were all being nosy. 

You let out an airy chuckle, Wally spoke up. 

“im sorry we can't go home y/n, but… we’d be happy to have you here until we all find a way to move on…” 

You could hear them all finally slowly walk down the steps, Eddie let out a gasp and ran down first. The others followed soon after. 

Howdy tried to hold them off, but it was no use. You couldn't escape the hug pile. 

You laughed and tried to hug them all back. 

You may have lost your old life, but now it is time to start a new one. 

One where you didn't have to worry about money. 

One where you wouldn't have to sit for hours waiting for a text or call from your friends. 

…One where you felt loved. 

And it felt nice. 

—-- 

It took a while to adjust to everything that had changed. 

In limbo, you didn't have to eat, but you still found yourself baking with Poppy every Sunday.

Howdy had made you a bedroom in the basement, but all the neighbors were helping to build you your own house. 

Wally now had a new, nonsentient house. He wasnt used to the lack of noise, so he still visited you and Howdy frequently. 

You still didn't know how to move on to whatever came after limbo, but you couldn't find yourself caring. 

You felt comforted here. 

You felt loved here. 

You had buddies here. 

And that's all that concerned you. 

So you would savor it for however long it would last. If and when you all move on you'll meet them again. 

-----

woof! im so happy to finally have this posted!! feel free to read the ao3 version which has some hidden messages sprinkled through! Next and final ending should be posted in the oncoming weeks!

I might make a seperate story with some oneshots in it related to this where you go on adventures with the others! I cant see myself doing a sequel to this but i might!

until next time! 🐾

[fairycosmos]

sorry for the #UKthings rant but ive gone private for mental health stuff but are trying to get my foot in the door with public stuff because i cant afford mental health over stuff like, having food to eat, but ohhhh my god. nhs please. next week will be week five of an eight week deal (maybe some kind of assessment? i'm not sure what the exact point is) where i have a meeting with a mental health nurse and there is nothing more demoralizing on my journey to more stable mental health than hearing from her that all it seems i do is push people away and reject help. i'm sorry that saying that i dont think downloading an app is going to help me!! especially since i've already got one that i have been using. lol. i've tried to determine what it is she can actually do to help me because i feel like this whole thing is wasting both of our times but all i really get is "well i'm a mental health nurse not a psychiatrist so i can't help with that" OKAY !!!!! what CAN you do!!!! god. god . chloe do you know what a mental health nurse's role is? do any of your followers know??? how am i meant to work with her best rn i really dont know...

omg no honestly i could go on about this FOREVER!!!! but for ur sanity i won't. i'm so so sorry they're messing you around like this when it comes to something as serious as your health - i've had very similiar experiences and honestly at this point i see our healthcare system as nothing but a cardboard charade rather than a system that seeks to provide genuine support to people but that's a whole other thing. i'm on like a million waiting lists for various different things and i think if i do end up getting through to someone it is very much going to mirror your experience i.e dull platitudes and empty promises. they expect you to download a mediation app and get over severe mental illness and the fact that you're struggling with that is truly reflective of them and the state of the country - not you or your ability to heal/get over things/whatever other bullshit expectation they force onto us. i haven't worked with a mental health nurse since i was like 17 for this exact reason like they do not offer the consistent, in-depth and intensive help a lot of us need and their answer to everything is to try yoga or drink more water and it's like, how are you even SUPPOSED to work with that?? one thing i will say is that venting to these people and just letting that be their position in your life - to let you get off some steam - is somewhat helpful but obviously doesn't confront the underlying issues. through this she may come to understand that you showing up to these frustrating sessions and talking IS you trying, is proof of you not "rejecting help." it's wild she would even imply that honestly. i genuinely hope you find a treatment plan that actually does delve into why you feel this way and what you can proactively do about it - which you do deserve, but i know it's not super realistic to think that the nhs in its current state is going to provide you with. it sucks and it feels so fucking hopeless, i've never even entertained the idea of getting serious help for yrs because of this and i totally get it. if you need a friend or someone to talk to about this, please don't hesitate to send me a message fr. i feel like we're in super similar positions rn and it truly is its own type of hell. x

[lloydfrontera]

another thing i can't forgive the webcomic on downplaying or outright skipping in order to make room for comedy is the commentary on classism and how absolutely terrible life can be when you're poor. i'm not saying they don't talk at all about it, they do! they have done some scenes that i really, really like so we know they're perfectly capable of it! so that makes it all the more noticeable when they,,, don't.

like i've already talked about how they massively changed the scene with sir blanc, where instead of lloyd showing him just how draining and tiring and hard it actually it is to work in construction and how much respect those workers deserve rather than how sir blanc had been looking down on them, they made it into a "if you flinch you lose" sort of deal

i liked that scene! it's quiet and calm and it gives us insight into how lloyd sees the world and why he acts the way he does to his workers. there's even a bit where lloyd offers him five times the salary of his civil engineers and sir blanc tells him it's not about the money, subtly implying it's insulting on lloyd's part to think he cared about money when his pride is on the line. and then lloyd completely shuts him down by telling him that of course money is important, people break their backs every day to get enough money to support themselves and their families, why wouldn't it be important?

for many people shoveling is the only way they can sustain themselves, it is their last lifeline and hope, the very job sir blanc was making fun of is what kept a house over their head and food on their table. and it's only after lloyd explains all of that to him that he also shows off his mana blast. he doesn't need to order sir blanc to do anything because, well, why would he? he made his point perfectly clear.

it's such a poignant scene!!! and in the webnovel we get,, well,, this:

it's kind of amazing how they,,, apparently missed the point of the scene?? like yeah sir blanc learns to respect lloyd and the construction work they do, but not because he thinks every job is inherently worthy of respect and there's not such thing as unskilled labor but because,,, lloyd is good at fighting monsters and saving people with unconventional methods. that's kind of it.

idk it feels like such a shame we lost that bit of character understanding and development even if we did get an absolutely hysterical scene out of it.

then there's also this scene a little bit after lloyd gets ggoming where he reflects how important reputation is and how much the money you have affects that. he was a poor guy, no house, no family, living in a cramped goshiwon, barely any clothes, with two or three faded sweatshirts for the entire year and a cheap haircut every three or four months.

he didn't have the money to worry about his appearance and it showed, which also affected his self-esteem and the way he carried himself, with hunched shoulders to occupy as small space as possible. and because of that the way people treated him was terrible, looking down on him with disdain and suspicion, constantly watching him any time he went to buy something because they thought he was looking to steal something. even outright accusing him of it.

it's horrible and harsh and a reality for many people and part of the reason he's so worried about building up a good reputation. he knows how terrible life can get when you don't have one and can't afford to get it.

and in the webcomic we get:

i swear i'm not trying to be mean nor overly critical. i promise i do love this webcomic, it makes me laugh so much and i wait every new chapter shaking and screaming. but c'mooonnnn

tged is about a modern day civil engineer raising absolute chaos in a fantasy setting with a giant hamster and his put upon knight following him everywhere he goes. but it also does have important themes weaved into the narrative that you can't just skip over without losing part of what makes it so good!

i'm begging here, just give us an earnest scene every once in a while, there's no need to make a joke at every turn, we're big boys (gn), we can handle a serious scene every couple chapters! we used to have those! chapter 5 had a great scene about suho's struggles in his previous life! chapter 26 was also amazing! it had its funny moments but it allowed itself to have a calm, quiet, sad moment that gave way to an earnest moment with lloyd and the summons! it's clear they can do it, they've done it before!

i just,,, i think there's so much to explore in the webnovel, that isn't being fully used in the webcomic and it's just such a shame :( so if you can i really encourage you to read the novel, it fleshes out and endears you to the characters so much more, i really do recommend it!

[cosmiclion]

From the news I read I’m surprised they’ll welcome Miri’s mom return in future episodes. I guess it isn’t that much of a stretch considering that Miri would eventually want to see her mother again. Though I’m interested to see how it will go. Her mom made it clear she doesn’t want to continue caring for her. Miri will be crushed of course. If that happens I just hope she remembers she has a new family now and her support network is larger then before. Miri’s mom doesn’t seem as horrible as other abusive anime parents. I mean Miri wouldn’t be as cheerful and energetic as she should if her mother at least took care of her enough to not realize her growing hatred. I could tell from her first appearance she’s a very broken woman, trying to live her dreams singing in a shady bar in the red light district, loving a man who shows blatant abuse towards her. It was for the best that Miri left her and stayed in the care of adults who will look after her needs with no regrets. Otherwise she’ll be faced with abuse and regret should Miri continue living with her.

Hi! Uh... first of all I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies for taking ages to answer this, I've been a little too busy with school and general chores plus I really didn't know how to put my thoughts into words 😭 I know it's pretty pointless to answer your specific ask by now since the show has already progressed and ended but I still didn't want to leave this ignored, and if you don't mind I'll take the opportunity to offer some thoughts.

Now that the show has ended I see why they made the choices they made and they make a lot of sense given the context of the story. I personally don’t have any complaints about the writing but I think Misaki deserved better. I'm sad she died but I understand why it happened, I suppose with her arc going that route it wouldn't have made sense for her to survive in a show where nobody's safe from violent criminals who are willing to murder women and children to get them out of their way. Still, I don't think she needed a big change of heart, I think she was already a great character as she was (it also rubs me the wrong way that some people started viewing her as a good person only once she started making an effort to do things right but I digress).

I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the "unwilling parent learns to love their kid and learns to be a good parent so that they can finally be a happy family" narrative. It just doesn’t sit right with me, maybe I’m reading too much into it but the message I get from these kind of stories is that anyone can be a good parent/caretaker with enough help and resources and in the right place mentally and emotionally (ESPECIALLY because that's an argument people use in real life for why they think everyone should have kids, or hell, even as an anti abortion argument; like that's not an exaggeration, I've seen them saying pretty much the exact same thing), when the sad reality is that sometimes kids are just unwanted. I sincerely wish the show had acknowledged that some people just don’t want to be parents even when they already are, I know it’s not pretty but these things need to be talked about in fiction.

I also think it would’ve fit the story perfectly: we would’ve had an example of horrible abusive parents (Rei’s father), amazing loving parents (Rei and Kazuki themselves) and parents who do their best but would still rather be doing anything else (Misaki; as you said, Miri wouldn’t be as cheerful if her mother hadn't kept her unhappiness to herself). Maybe I’m biased, I don’t know, but I’m really starved for this kind of content. As a friend of mine as well as a few other people have said, we need more situations like in Matilda, where the bio parents admit they aren't fit for the role and happily sign away their parental rights.

(Granted that if Misaki hadn't popped back into Miri's life she wouldn't have died like that, as she got targeted precisely because she was with Miri, that's why I say I understand why the writers made the choices they made).

I also wish they hadn't given her cancer if they were going to kill her off anyway, give the poor woman a break lol.

If you (not you the asker but you as in anyone reading this) disagree with me that's perfectly okay, and let me reiterate that I do NOT think this is bad writing, I'm just tired of seeing this trope over and over again; but any angry asks or comments will be ignored and deleted.

(Edited to add some more thoughts).

[lucysarah-c]

Can you tell us more about you moving abroad?

Are you scared? Excited?

How is the procedure going so far? Which country are you planning to visit?

Sure! I don't mind it haha I'm moving to Germany to do a PhD and a Master's degree. You're probably wondering why both and it's because Argentinian degrees already have a "master" inside it so it's like the master's topics are stuff I've already seen in my "bachelor's degree" in Argentina but I need the master to be taken in PhD in Germany so they made an exception. I'll be working for research in the lab and etc. doing some publications that will later on be part of my PhD while I do a Master's. Of course all this under the speculations that the government of Germany accepts my papers etc.

I'm really excited, I've been working and planning this for a while so I'm really enthusiastic. Basically my last 2 years of my degree were planned on this and this opportunity so I guess I'm excited that it's so close to happen, if it happens.

I've already lived alone since I was 17, I moved over 500 km from my hometown to study at uni so living alone and re-discovering myself in a new environment was a grateful experience when I was 17, can't wait to see what person will I be when I move alone again across the globe with 24.

The only thing I'm scared of is finding a way to bring my cat Taylor with me and money. Moving to a new country implies a lot of money and, at the same time, understanding how much money I will need per month and being fully economically independent since it's impossible for my family to support me economically in this decision.

The process is... dehumanizing and exhausting. I have been sending mails almost everyday; for translation, for certificates, for uni papers, for uni papers in germany, visa stuff, etc. You send a mail and they reply when they please and how they please lol. I think there's a special place in hell for "administrative in universities". To be honest, the hardest part of all this is money, it takes a lot of money and while my family can somehow help me with this part I feel extremely guilty. That's why I had been thinking of doing some art sketches commissions because each penny counts.

So far the decision is permanent if the opportunity is given, I may move permanently to Germany. I won't say forever because you never know but sadly it's been a really harsh past year for me. I finished university, I got my honor degree and be "the top of the top '' in a career that in other countries people are making a bunch of money off and... in my home country I didn't get a single job offer. Plus to that, the economy in Argentina is really delicate and I took this decision also to be able to have a better job or just a job and send money to my family so my mom can finally retire and be calm. She deserves it and I'm willing to do what it takes. 

Hahaha sorry for the rambling!

Have a lovely day!

[llycaons]

ep 32 (3/3): BRUTAL

in the book it was said that wwx was 'half-dead with fear' when he heard this. I loved the phrase

oh NOW you're telling him to play? lwj you're at some kind of crisis here you don't know WHAT you want

on my first watch I remember so clearly thinking 'oh teehee I've seen the spoilers there's nothing to surprise me only to GASP when this shot happened

I can tell it's su she's stupid upper lip and stupid nose too. he has very distinctive lower facial features

I was fully sobbing by this point so idk if I have any more commentary beyond *whimpering noises* look how terrified they are...that's their big sister

pretty fucked up that he's a jiang sect member

oohh, this shot is devastating. seeing him from across the battlefield, in this one instant, they're together again, and then-

this shot KILLS me. I know I talk a lot about wwx but jc loves jyl so much. he loves her so much. that's his big sister too. part of the reason the estrangement is so painful is because I get it. I get his anger and his violence and his bitterness. I don't agree with how he handled it, but I understand it

ohh this shot

honestly it looks a little wonky. there have been several shots this episode that have looked awkward. but who cares

I've been looking forward to the postres arc because it's not as relentlessly sad but I'm going to miss jyl SO much. look at her. she deserved the world

this is another line that slaughters me. she refers to wwx earlier at jinlintai, but this can also refer to their entire relationship. despite his closeness with jyl, wwx has often avoided true vulnerability or honesty with her. especially recently, for political reasons - stepping back, offering formality, running off, slipping away, bouncing her questions back to her. even with this person who's the closest he has to a mother, he couldn't sit down with her and entirely be with her in the way she wanted them all to be. and that hurt her! she wanted that closeness for all three of them, for the rest of their lives. oh jyl im so sorry you all couldn't make it in this lifetime

and this. fuck

oh! that WAS the brother of the archer! it was mentioned in the book but I couldn't remember if it was canon to here as well. ugh, how appropriate it was for revenge

HEY. DON'T PLAY THAT

I've seen a really angry post (in the lwj tag no less) trying to put this situation into a modern context and it characterized wwx as super careless and irresponsible and uncommunicative, who was directly the cause of jyl running into 'a gang fight' and 'getting caught in the crossfire' idk it was super defensive of jc punching wwx but I think it misrepresented a lot of details unfairly. like this is a really complicated and painful situation for EVERYONE that wwx does bear some responsibility for, even if it happened due to other people's decisions besides him. and also he was trying to save innocent people from being murdered, idc how little info jc had about the state of wwx's core he DID know that and he simply didn't care or like try to extend some sympathy and support for him? that's like one of the most understandable goals...ever

anyway saying that wwx was directly responsible for jyl's death is simply untrue. she chose to come to the fight (HOW DID SHE GET THERE??? HOW DID SHE KNOW ABOUT IT??? WHERE'S HER GUARDS??? UNIMPORTANT). she came to look for him, sure, but he never wanted her anywhere near it. she was injured by something they thought was under wwx's control, true. but she died because she chose wwx over herself

that's not something he had any control over. and to hold that over his head when there was nothing he could have done once he realized what was happening, for someone who already bears a lot of guilt for simply surviving/being loved/being taken off the streets, it's just a horrifically cruel thing to put on him. and hey, grief doesn't always make sense. but I understand completely why wwx did what he did next. and after he comes back to life, it's even more obvious how much he needs his close relationships to be with people who don't hold anything over him or blame him for simply being alive or demand things from him that he simply can't give

oh....

wwx kills this guy with his bare hands but like. who cares, right? no focus is on this man at all, curiously. jc could have blamed him instead. but he seems wholly convinced that every single bad thing that's ever happened to him was wwx's fault. to be fair, they don;t know about the second flautist yet so it doesn't look great for him, but also...you know how much your sister and brother loved each other! dude!

anyway i feel wretched

personal hightlights (what a joke. no this was a good episode)

god. "I want to stay with him a bit longer" and jyls' face when she sees wwx

madam jin breaking down and sobbing once she leaves the room

the heroic music setting wwx up as the villain of the story is a REALLY good touch

white paint on wwx's face <3

the cry-laughing

all of his lines on the roof but especially the ones about how he has to be careful who he hurts even though anyone can try to kill him with impunity and 'your hatred and admiration both come so cheap!' + the significance that has for wx

pulling out the arrow and killing the archer with it was BALLER

jc holding jyl in his arms is an unforgettable image

[shdwtouch]

i like that you are always such a loving presence on the dash <3 i don't have much love to give, myself (i rarely feel love), and i feel awkward receiving it as well, so i prefer to send compliments on anon because i don't. i don't want the attention. i don't want people to see me as someone who is loving, because i'm not, and i get worried people will then expect it of me. anyway ignore this if you want no worries at all, but i do want to say it's nice to see someone with so much genuine love to give. <3

( as a note / for context, I received this the other night when I responded to the first unpopular opinion ask ! and as a note to anon, if you see this, I have included a response to your second ask under the cut <3 )

daw, thank you !! ; w ; I do try. like, I really do. I just. live by the resolve that I would never want people to feel like I have. I've felt... really low. been in really dark places, especially while in the roleplay community. and I honestly wouldn't wish that on anyone. everyone deserves love, support, and kindness. everyone deserves to feel seen and valid and wanted. it's... kind of awkward sometimes, honestly, but knowing that people see what I say and feel its intent makes it all worthwhile ! I try to be as accommodating and open-minded and, well, empathetic as I can. to say things I think people need to hear / see, and with the hope that my saying anything at all has helped another person say it, or not need to say it all. <3

as for you, I think that is valid ! and part of why I feel embarrassed sometimes, because I know that my flavor of love and support isn't one that everyone will enjoy. but I think that what you do is fair. and... to be completely honest. I think you situation is incredibly special. to rarely feel love but having the inkling to voice it anyway for the benefit of others... that is the sweetest thing I can think of. true, selfless love. because you aren't giving it because you expect anything in return, or because you want people to see you as a loving person... but because it is needed, or wanted. that is. incredibly wholesome, and you have my respect. just know that your kindness and love, even if anonymous, is valued and appreciated.

on the flipside, to know someone doesn't love or show kindness easily... but receive it from them ? that is truly special. intimate, even. and I hope the people around you know how incredibly special your care is, for that reason. (also, I don't meant to burst your bubble, and granted this is based on your anons alone, but... I would say you are a fairly loving and kind individual. I think the people around you would understand your position / situation and be immensely touched by the love you show them in spite of it. but I also understand your fears of it becoming expected, so I'm not judging you. it can be... exhausting when your love is expected by someone, even if offered freely. and I can definitely empathize with that anxiety on days I don't feel very supportive or don't have the spoons to offer the level of support I usually do.)

at any rate, I do appreciate your message. thank you, anon. ; w ; you have made me feel very valid and worthwhile in my efforts. <3

no no no ! that post had nothing to do with your message, I promise. I actually had a conversation with someone (that wasn't even really related to the post, tbh) that made me realize the post might have inspired insecurity in those who had read it, and I wanted to address that because I definitely didn't want anyone to feel bad for not sending positivity. I also realized after rereading the post that I had taken a very personal stance, and that might have implied a failure or fault in the part of my writing partners, which wasn't true. I think it can often be said we complain about what we lack before we first consider what we already possess.

and I don't want you to feel bad either ! that was not my intention. see what I have written above heheh I have a lot of respect for you and the love you show despite a lack of social energy, and I greatly appreciate you sending these messages, truly. <3

[madamejennie]

Wed, 24 April 2024

୨୧ ⠀(⠀⠀ Happy 5th Anniversary ⠀ ⠀)⠀ ୨୧

Ruby's Journal

To my dearest, one and only lover, kangie.

Kakak sayang, happy anniversary! What a long journey. Kakak thank you for still staying with me. I can't believe its already our fifth anniversary. We really going this far, huh? Growing up together with you and going through so many up and downs. Kakak, thank you for taking care of me and treat me well.

In this moment where we are occupied with mundane things, you don't have to worry when you missed my texts. I completely understand how busy and tired you are after work.

Here, I promised myself to cherish every little moments we have. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about you. In the middle of the night, I miss you, I wonder how's your life out there. Suddenly, I rised up silly question in my head like “do you think about me too?”

There are so many things I want to say to you. I should've just write them down right away everytime I have the thoughts because I ended forget some of them.

I'm so grateful to have you by my side. You are really my precious one. Your little ‘Hi babe’, your cute gifs, your words make me smile. I'm honored to receive your text messages. I be like “so, this is the feeling of being someone's important person?” I'm so happy...

You make me believe that everything is going to be alright. Your reassurance comfort me. I feel like I can rely myself a bit on you. I don't know am I reliable person too but I will always support you no matter what.

I can't hold my tears while writing this. Kakak, I don't know how to give back as much as you give to me. I wonder what can I do to make you happier?

“If you have some free time, is there anything you want to do together with me?”

I'm so sorry you kinda have such a loser gf but I hope I will be someone better. Somehow I can't convey my feelings better. I ended up show teary eyes. While I'm writing this, the sentences jumbled here and there. It just like my raw thoughts & feelings, so I called this my little journal rather than anniversary letter.

I listened to a song that has lyrics like this

“you have the right to my loyalty.”

Talking about loyalty, I think that's what I can offer to you. I'll be here, always. I want to stay with you as long as I can. Indeed, you have the right to my loyalty.

Kakak, everytime I see beautiful things, they always remind me of you. I feel like I want to experience those beautiful things with you or something like that.

Thank you for coming into my life. You make me feel every emotions that I've never felt before. You make me feel special. Thank you for loving this ordinary girl. You always say “you deserve all of good things in the world” well, there I got you—the most precious thing I've ever have.

I love you even when you are near or far. I fall in love again and again everytime I have a thought about you.

I wish you happines along the way. May God always take care of you, wherever you are. I hope you still want to spend the rest of the year with me. If I may ask, please stay with me as long as you can. I love you so much, my dearest. Thank you for still accepting me as your lover.

[toxic-potions-productions]

Reality checks, but something even worse

(After saying she'll think about the offer, Dorky runs into someone she hasn't seen in a while who came by to check on her. But, it didn't go how she expected it to...)

Dorky: Why are you still trying with me? All you're gonna do is try to get me back.

Zoey: .............

Dorky: I'm done with this, I'm done with all of you. How could you possibly be this controlling?

Zoey: ............

Dorky: What?

Zoey: ................Why did I ever think you changed?

Dorky: ?!

Zoey: Why was I this stupid to realize you're the same as you were even before you met me? Do you have any idea how much I sacrificed for you? How much I've done for you? How much you've made me cry & hurt me because of the things you did?

Dorky: ...........

Zoey: I never should've given you an inch if I knew you weren't gonna change. You hate yourself & you just take it out on those who love you because it's far greater than any sort of pain you give yourself.

Dorky: ........... (Hey, SD? Can you let me back in for a second?) (SD: Hmh. Fine.) *Eyes turn brown again*

Zoey: Stop constantly thinking we're your enemies when we're NOT. All we've ever done is support you, help you, comfort you. & this is really how you repay us? That makes you selfish, Dorky. Stop thinking we hate you when all we've ever done is love you. I have cried so much for you, been in so much pain for you, gone through so much just for you. But, it was never enough was it?

Dorky: .................

Zoey: Y'know what? I'm done. I'm done bending over backwards for you. If you can't accept my friendship & not think of us as bad people, then you don't deserve my friendship at all.

Dorky: !!!

Zoey: No wonder your old friends left you. You haven't changed at all. If you really cared about us, then you would stop this & think about someone else rather than yourself.

Dorky: ........Zoey......Did I really do all of that to you.....?

Zoey: Yes, you have. It's what you've done since day one! Did I ever mean anything to you?

Dorky: Yeah, yeah you did, but I was just--

Zoey: You were what? Easily manipulated? Stubborn? Selfish? I already know what you're gonna say & your bullshit excuses aren't gonna work this time. Your actions are gonna speak louder than anything you tell me this time. If you wanna tell me you're sorry, than prove it by fixing everything. You already know how to. But, you'll never do that since you only care about yourself. Do you?

Dorky: ............

Zoey: ...............Tch. You're a bad friend.

Dorky: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zoey: Goodbye, Octavia. I curse the day we met. *Storms off*

Dorky: ..................

SD: See? I told you. At least one of them is proving you don't need them. I can still get rid of them if you want me to.

Dorky: .............Uhh....Gonna have to hold that idea for a second. *Goes off after her*

SD: Hmph. Stupid brat.

Dorky: Zoey, wait!

*Vines spike up*

Dorky: ?!

Zoey: !!..........Hmm. Sorry. I really don't know why that's still happening. Still, I don't need you anymore until you can prove yourself. Prove you're a good person. Prove you care about us. Prove you're not a selfish bitch.

Dorky: Can I at least say sorry before you leave?

Zoey: .................. *Sighs* As I already said, your actions are gonna speak louder than words this time. But, at least you know when to actually say sorry now. So, I guess something good came out of all of that. Still, just an apology isn't gonna be enough I'm afraid. Just........do what you know you have to do & fix this. Until then, I don't need you. Besides, even if you do, you have to understand that things just won't be the same anymore.

Dorky: ..........

Zoey: So, until I feel like I can trust you again, I'm staying in my shell around you. Like how you did with me. Just........I'm done. I'm exhausted, & I can't keep living like this anymore. Goodbye. *Walks away scratching her arms*

Dorky: ......... *Sighs* I really fucked up. What am I gonna do?

("You already know how.")

Dorky: ..........Ooooough......! Fiiiiine. I'll do that then I'll talk to her.

SD: Tch. You seriously don't want me getting rid of them now?

Dorky: Not after that reality check I needed for a long time. ......Why was she scratching her arms like that, though?

(But, by the time she got back, it was already too late. As Zoey was going through something that looks beautiful, but is in fact so very deadly.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, O has no idea how to play this event out, so I'm helping her with this. Besides, I just NEEDED to get this posted before September

You're welcome

@dorkygurl-89

[broodyjoey]

Sometimes I'm really jealous of the GC of our family, whatever I've wanted to do, I always had been reprimanded or had to fight my way through it, just to get the bare minimum of what I want.

It takes months & years for me to figure out a way to get the things I want done. Sometimes depression plays a part in it too, I'm too depressed to go sneak around in order to get what I need & want.

But the GC of our family need not sneak around, she can do whatever she wants and everyone applauds her for it. She's done something again today, something that I've wanted to do for years. And to her, it's nothing she needs to hide around about.

Me? I had to sneak around, just to go to my first clubbing experience. My first drink was from my aunt, otherwise they wouldn't have had let me drink. My first concert was with a friend, with support from her dad. (he's rich and she's allowed to use his card as long as she asks first.)

I had to drag my depressed ass out on a walk just to schedule my therapist appointment in secret, never really having enough money to go buy from this fancy little soda bar, a few streets behind my house. I used my allowance money to pay for my own therapy, ever since I turned 17 & I never tell them; they have a stigma against mental illnesses and psychiatry medications.

Eventually, when I had enough money to buy the drinks, it had already closed down during covid and never came back to the same area. Years of me waiting and saving up, dragging my ass to the place to search for it...just wasted into this.

Today? My little sister, the GC, she brought back a big bottle of the soda bar's drink. The grape-based drink and it was so normal for everybody.

Nobody asked her how much did she spend on this drink. Nobody scolded her for eating out, nobody said it was a waste of money.

Ah, the wonders of being a GC. How wonderful, how sweet.

Back when I was in the office job, and I bought back some drinks, they'd all blabber with their tongues and drink the beverages I brought back, while scolding me about how bad it tastes, how they don't like it and that I am wasting money.

Yet they've asked the GC to buy the same exact drinks again, and they say that the drinks were delicious!

Ah I'm so furious, sad and disappointed all at the same time. It's always like this.

Yet I never learn not to offer such things. Then again, they'll go:

"You filthy monkey! The drinks you brought us is disgusting, a waste of money!"

"How dare you not buy us drinks when you brought your own! Selfish evil monkey!"

"Your tastes are disgusting and pathetic, even if it's the same exact drinks, your little sister has the better judgement!"

I'm done with this, I shouldn't even bring anything good back home. They'll just waste my money and my efforts. Took all my money and buy the things that they don't even use, took my gifts and never even used it, took my gifts and insult it and me.

I'm so tired of this house. They want me to stop using my phone and pay attention here. But how am I supposed to live and keep myself sane from all these?

I am trying my best to stay alive with all the weird shit going in my house every single day. I have to deal with liars, insults and physical abuse. And yet I am not even allowed a respite from it all in the form of a phone addiction.

Even prostitutes have drugs to run to, my ex had alcohol and weed, my other ex had anime.

I deserve my escape right?

But to them I must be subhuman, I am not allowed an escape from this hellish enclosure, when I get home from work I am not allowed to stay out with my friends.

I am to go back home straight, where I have to play referee for my parent's train wreck of a marriage, have to be a punching bag for my sister's insults and I am not allowed to get angry, cry or even be slightly upset.

I am to be a wooden doll in my house.

Then a sex doll for my past bfs.

I am not a doll.

I am made of flesh and blood.

And it seems only my friends understand this. Even though I am usually the butt of their jokes too.

But they could tell something's up. They know I've been suicidal, that I've been planning my death, that I've had enough of this goddamn world.

But none of them can help me escape it. I'm stuck here.

I can't do this anymore. I don't know how to escape it quickly. This is like a prison, no matter what I do, it is punished.

Like some kind of wild animal in an enclosure. It hurts, it's suffocating.

I want to run away.

[tamariasykes-art]

17 and 18 for Rings of Power!

The Rings of Power themed asks. 🍃✨

17. What are your thoughts on the original characters? Do you like them? (For example: Nori, Bronwyn, Adar)

I absolutely adore all the original characters in the series and their arcs are usually the ones I am most invested in. The whole arcs with the Southlands (yeah I know they don't exist anymore) was such a joy to watch.

Someone on twitter refereed to Arondir as the "the elfest elf that ever elfed" and I think that is more than accurate. He is kind, noble, determined and just so good in every way. The interactions between him and Adar? This bond of both mutual respect and attempting to understand the other, but ultimately taking a different path in the end. I love his relationship with Bronwyn, they way they are so dedicated to each other but also willing to let the other go for a greater sake. They way they support and comfort each other throughout the series <3<3

Bronwyn is great too, probably my favorite female character from the series. She is also kind and very courageous and they way she is ready to take up a weapon to defend others and how she ends up taking the responsibility for coordinating resources and shelter for the people fleeing from the uruks. They way she unconditionally loves her son and Arondir <3<3

There are many more great original characters, but this is already getting so long

18. What are your thoughts on the portrayal of the canon characters? (For example: Galadriel and Elrond)

I am gonna preface this by saying that the only books of Tolkien I've read by now are the Hobbit and the Silmarillion so my knowledge on the lotr triology is mostly based on the movies. (Also I'm gonna stick with Miriel, Elrond and Galadriel here because I have the most thoughts about them)

I do like the changes the made to Miriel's character. I remember reading the Silm and wondering what Numenor might have been like under her reign and how sad it was that so much of her character is just a victim, a victim of Ar-Pharazôn and Sauron and later on a victim of Numenor being turned into Atlantis. Miriel in Trop just feels so refreshing compared to that. I wish the Numenor arc would have gotten a bit more attention, especially the relationship between Miriel and her father, but all the episodes with her

Elrond, is Elrond. He's fine The scenes with him in it always feel a bit odd tho. I recently started watching the series with my mother and she said about him: "He sounds like a politician" and I couldn't agree more. Now, I am aware that this is what the show is going for and the way he carries himself and his speech make sense for the position he holds at Gil-galads court. What makes scenes with feel so odd to me is that he seems to carry this behavior into these very personal scenes where he interacts with Disa and Durin and because of that they don't seem as heartfelt and intimate as they should. I mean, especially the scene where Durin voices his anger over the disagreement with his father and Elrond explains the relationship with his father, it sounds like he is reciting something and not offering insight on his friend. Although that part could also be a result of the German voice actors performance. I doesn't matter either way, this is a interpretation of Elronds character, a legitimate one and I don't hate it. It is fine. His haircut is always a joy to look at.

Galadriel is just like that. Idk I mean you have these really great aspects that you can base her story off. The death of her brother and husband, the survivors guilt, this feeling of restlessness and also this fear of going to the west and possibly thinking that she might not deserve it yet. And then they go ahead and show her to be this really cold, selfish and manipulative character and I am just asking myself where it went wrong.

And yes, those are flaws, every good character has those. But I feel with the way her story and character is written, she just comes of as utterly unlikable. I am not interested in seeing her evolve and change for the better, or face the consequences for her actions because her motivation seems so weird and her struggles seem to be non-existant. I mean Celeborns death for example has had such a big impact on her, I don't understand why they did not hint at that sooner in the show until her conversation with Halbrand (?) Why didn't they show her grieving, why do they never show her struggling with her values and believes, why is the majority of her arc her just try to find and destroy Sauron and not doing anything else? Also, the whole thing with taking the boat to the west. You could have done so much with that. But in the show you just see her conversation with Elrond about it where she makes it clear that she won't accept this gift from Gil-galad with the reason that he work isn't finished. And then the next scene is just her on the boat. I mean, this is literally a journey with no return why did they not show her trying to come terms with that or her fear of leaving her friends and Middle Earth behind, her feeling that she might not worthy of accepting something like that. (Maybe also her wondering if she will see her family again. I mean in Tolkiens work Finrod was allowed to leave the Halls of Mandos)

Like, I don't get it. I really don't. I am not a fan of her arc during the first season and neither is my mother (who hasn't seen all the episodes yet).

Thanks for asking!

[meltic-daze]

AITA for getting into a fight with my wife?

u/podracingking19

(This is a long post pls read I'm DESPERATE) 

Me (M22) and my beautiful amazing wife (F27) have been together for about four years. We were forced to secretly elope due to the religion I used to following banning any and all romantic entanglements. For all the time we've been married there hasn't been a single fight. Usually my wife and I are able to sort our differences calmly and rationally and this time our fight has me super worried. 

I've been having dreams of my wife dying while giving birth to our son. My dreams are prophetic and always come true so this is INCREDIBLY horrifying. It already happened to my mom and I couldn't save her (long story) and I can't let that happen again or I might actually lose my mind. She's all I have left. 

I tried to talk to my boss (M877) about it but he just brushed me off. He said "Letting go is the will of the force" or whatever, he's an inconsiderate prick. I've always disliked the little guy since we first met and he made fun of me for missing my mom. My boss was no help and really he's the only one I could ask. My teacher (M38) would brush me off too since mister perfect never goes against what the bossman says. Asshole. He'd also push the same bullshit and expect me to be okay with potentially losing someone I love AGAIN. I guess he wouldn't understand since he never loved anyone at all. 

Due to all this, I decided to leave my former religious apprenticeship behind. My workplace never appreciated me like I deserved anyway and it pissed me off every. Single. Day. My teacher (more like slave master) never sympathized with me and mocked my struggles. I hate him and his stupid beard and haughty attitude and constant judgements. My wonderful wife is the only person who supported me during these difficult times. She has really pretty eyes and hair and she's the wisest person in the whole wide world. Wait where am I going with this. 

Anyway. My new boss (M63) offered me a new position directly under him as his student which I immediately accepted. He showed me that my former leaders were all LIARS who never understood what really mattered in the universe- power and the means by which to grasp it. 

The most IMPORTANT part of this is that under his leadership I would be able to protect my wife from dying. She's all that matters, I would set the world on fire if it meant she'd stay warm. What other choice could I make? 

My boss told me to do some stuff like clear out my former workplace which I agreed to. It sucked herding out the younger members but thinking of my wife's loving hands got me through it. She would be so happy that we could finally be together in public. 

Or I THOUGHT she would be. When we met up again a couple planets over she was furious. I tried to explain that everything I did was for not only our future but the galaxy's - I planned on overthrowing my old boss for her the first second I got- and that we could carry out her dream together. 

BUT she refused to listen. My wife just said stuff about how "democracy is sacred how could you do this?" and "you're going down a path I can't follow."

I SAVED HER LIFE WHY IS SHE ANGRY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND??? 

I just want us to be together again I love her so much. Was I the bad guy here?

Edit: I forgot to mention my old teacher crawled out of her ship which didn't help matters. For a hot second I thought she betrayed me did something wrong but I swear I regretted it immediately and didn't mean it!