#you ain't in laerryn's league

[honourablejester]

I’m scrolling back through the exu: calamity tags, and I’m a year and a half late for this, but I’m honestly a little appalled at the results. Vex, darling, no offense, I love you, but really?

Laerryn’s opening scene was her having a bitch fight with her ex-husband. She cast haste on herself entering a party purely so she could get down the stairs without having to talk to anyone. She used one of her best friends as a guinea pig and got him stuck in an interdimensional tree, and then covered it up. She built a massive magical engine that would rewrite magic and fly a city to the heavens. She did not, at any point, tell anyone in the city this. Literally neck deep in the apocalypse, she was still trying to get that engine off the ground, evil gods be damned, because she has one shot at this, and how fucking dare the Betrayer Gods try to hijack her apogee solstice. She kneejerk semi-knowingly fired the shot that ended the world because a tree stabbed her husband. Staring down the barrel of said end of the world, she has half a fucking hour to redo her life’s work in an attempt to save it, and she coolly shrugs that off with a ‘plenty of time’. She sacrificed her whole city, as well as the entire fucking continent it was on, because the gods had pissed her off now, and she was going to use that same life’s work to take a chunk of their plan very permanently off the board. Asmodeus himself came to yell at her for it, and she basically brushed him off.

Like, I love Vex, I do, but in terms of girlboss? You can’t beat the girl who looked at the gods and went ‘fuck this tower of babel shit, I’m gonna beam myself into your house’. And then followed that up with ‘and if you try to mess with me, I’m gonna beam you into quite literal oblivion’.

Like, she didn’t even try to become immortal first. It wasn’t about becoming a god. It was about ‘if I rip a strand of magic off the surface of the world to park my house on top of your house, which of us is even the boss here?’. The gods ain’t shit.

(And then they kind of are, but hey. Your girl still goes down swinging).

Like, I know there’s only a percent in the difference here. But. This shouldn’t have even been a contest.

reminder: vote for the character who is the most girlboss, not who your favorite is (unless they are one in the same)