#you ain't gonna get anything too deep on this blog

[sweet-rabbit]

fiddling around with how i want to draw kabru. this is what happened. enjoy...?

[puckpocketed]

good morning puckpocketed it is @wehaveagathering from my main blog! I was wondering (and if you have already talked about this link me!) what your feelings are on the sharks upcoming offseason, who you're hoping for them to draft, who you're excited to see play either in their nhl or ahl roster, anything! :]

first of all. hello wehaveagathering dot tumblr my sour gummy candy my bespoke watchface my press-on nails....! thank you so much for dropping by <33 hearing from you is like oughh hello microcelebrity who decided i was cool... !!!! ok. deep inhale. I present to you:

puckpocketeds sharks offseason roundup

I am of two minds with Sharks hockey:

Nothing will ever go as I expect/predict because Mike Grier works in mysterious ways (Hertl trade was a wild day) and given I am following the San Jose Sharks ...we are here for a laff first and foremost. At least until we're competitive again. No point in thinking too hard because it ain't that serious and i have 0 control over what happens <3

On the other hand . kljsdalkjsdkl I am reading Elite Prospects' draft guide like the morning paper and absorbing massive amounts of data about my little guys and listening to podcasts and also following juniors games (you may have seen my very regular and hinged Memorial Cup Posting) and, yes, I even watched college hockey . I am unofficially the prospects slide maker for the Sharks Primer that I haven't opened in a week.

You may have asked the one person on tumblr who can give you an unskippable cutscene i hope ur ready for an unskippable cutscene !

General Off-season stuff/contracts

i am being fed off the scraps of Henry Thrun + Devin Cooley interviews in scf post-game shows and stalking all of our beat reporters. i have all of them with notifications ON and they keep doing really funny stuff like suggesting Draisaitl coming to the sharks. also . wekky and keebs are hanging out with Alex Holtz this summer and it is THEE best thing ever. matching slides for you in these trying times? feeling very deprived of sharks hockey but sustaining myself by having little breakdowns about it with friends :3

Couture is the biggest question of the off-season to me. The plan rn is that he will be ready to play by opening night, if all goes well during his rehab. He's our captain, the team looked visibly improved when he was on the ice for the gorgeous 6 game stretch that he played with us last season (Coochie era you will always be famous), and honestly I think his contribution to morale is more valuable than anything else he brings to the ice. There's no chance he gets moved right now given his contract and health, but there's a chance he never plays another NHL game... his health and readiness to play determines who the Sharks target for acquisitions and what our team looks like down the middle (where our two biggest prospects, who are both centers, will end up). so much hinges on whether or not Cooch is healthy!! but at this point I'm just rooting for his long-term health no matter what happens with the team !!

To preface any contract talk; the vibe about Mike Grier is he’s wary of giving out long term stuff in light of his predecessor leaving behind the husk of Marc-Edouard Vlasic (said with deep affection) and several other nearly immovable contracts. pundits don't really see him giving anyone term unless they’re Confirmed Core Players and i agree! other than that... i don't have serious takes or predictions about term/dollar amounts. HOPES and DREAMS and PSYCHEDELIC VISIONS, on the other hand...

We're gonna lose some of our guys to free agency because they're. um. untradeable and not very good </3 (Hoffman, Labanc, Barabanov <- this one is a special case, Barbie's deal fell through because the Hertl trade happened and we're using our last retention slot on him) and whilst I do love the ongoing Bit of uncle Mike and sweet cousin Kevin, this frees us up to go looking for some guys who can mentor our young core!! (I hope Labanc gets a second chance somewhere and shows everyone that the sharks monumentally fumbled the bag on yet another ex wife !!)

The doors are open for free agency acquisitions... Everyone's throwing around big names but I think they're forgetting the fact that we actually gotta convince them to come to San Jose LMAO. cost of living + basement team unlikely to be serious about a cup run for at least another 4-5 years = not the most appealing place to go. We have seen speculation about FAs ranging from Stamkos to Marner lmaoooooo and i'll be honest I don't want to add to all that. I just hope whatever old man we staple to our youth he's fun and NOT a criminal !

For our other UFAs:

I'd like to see us re-sign Justin Bailey because he worked really hard for us down the stretch. we poached him from the cuda early on because all of our forwards were exploding and never gave him back even when everyone started getting healthy again! Maybe he can go help our cuda not flop <333

Jacob MacDonald holds a very special place in my heart because we like making multi-class jokes (he was forced to play forward for a big chunk of his time w the sharks even though hes a d-man LMAO) . I find his work ethic charming <3 he's done everything they've asked of him, and he's honestly done it Not Terribly. I would LIKE for the sharks to offer him a place here due to sentiment and i sort of think he's a sleeper depth pick…. but it seems less and less likely given that we’re going to market for d-men and we’ll have more forwards healthy next season.

Ryan Carpenter is another cuda acquisition we never gave back and is our beautiful returned shark son <33 he was a steady 4th line center throughout the Horrors. however, we were trying out one of our younger guys in that position (hello jack studnicka!!) towards the end of the season and im really wondering if we'll see him up with the sharks again. He's a great AHL player and I see him helping the cuda become competitive if we bring him back!

Devin Cooley my beloved. our junior shark. our silly rabbit. some context: the sharks org is doing something very strange and deeply funny with their goalie situation. we have like 6 of them and i genuinely have no clue where this is going. Optimistically, Cooley gets a something thrown at him because he's shown the ability to grow under the limited tutelage of our Very Good Goalie Coach Thomas Speer + he's a great feel-good story !! less optimistically... he gets traded on the draft floor because we can't have shit in san jose (KNOCKING ON TEN MILLIOB WOOD)

Our RFA sitch is a mixed bag:

Luke Kunin absolutely comes back. barring offer-we-can't-refuse type deals... they love him here. Is he GOOD? well no <3 analytics-wise, he is our worst performing forward and actively makes his lineys worse. but (and i imagine this is whats going on in sharks front office discussions) must a goonwag do silly things like "play hockey"?? can't he just get all snarly when our guys are pushed around? can't he play leg weight to our beloved prized prospects? teach them how to drive a line despite being hamstrung by the sloppiest turnovers ever? cant he just be sophia's less accomplished trophy husband...........???? also in his defence, he should never have been our 2nd line center. but everyone else exploded so !!! anyway I think he would flourish with fewer minutes and easier match ups on the 3rd/4th line. i want to see him hanging out in a depth position next season and goonwagging it up <3

I watched Thomas Bordeleau really work to solidify his place in the lineup towards the end of the season. I love his absolute determination to finish every game fighting. I am SO proud to call him a shark and he's become one of my favourite little guys <3 I knowww everyone knows him from the Narratives but EYE got to know him through his hockey and I am WRETCHEDLY endeared by it. He will stare down a 0-4 scoreline and keep playing hard no matter what, he has sprinted down the ice with seconds on the clock to make a play and ough ough oughhhhhghgh he is SO special to me okay !!!! okay. And I truly think that gmmg has to see that. They're trying to build culture here... something about being hard to play against, having will and size and skill.... Bordy doesn’t fit the Big Boys vision that Grier is open about chasing, but he does bring the attitude and work ethic… I want him to stay forever <3 next year is his breakout year MARK MY WORDS!!!!!

Henry Thrun was a bit up and down but honestly who on this accursed roster wasn't?? Some nights he was unironically our most effective d-man (as much as one can be on the 23-24 sharks) other nights he was competing in a flop contest with Pickles <3 i would like to see him get more pp minutes next season and work on being consistent, which I absolutely believe he can achieve. our beautiful draft dodger + harvard double major <3

Ty Emberson is a complete mystery to me. I've seen him play like 3 games. he's been very injured this season. I liked what I saw when he was on? Making his slides was SO hard ill be honest, there's so little out there about him. but i have a soft spot a mile wide for reliable stay at home d-men, i hope he gets a fair shot. also hes mackblack's bestie and nobody knows that and i need everybody to know that he has a special bond with his goalie like his defensemen forefathers . thats our defensive defenseman and his goalie okay . okau.

Calen Addison is . listen okay I love our little guy. let him say fuck!!! but he hasn't done well this year and this was sort of supposed to be his fresh start. what I want is that he stays on the sharks and turns things around and goes on to blast all his haters. I'm not very sure any of that will happen.

I can't be objective about Filip Zadina. I will not lie. I want him to succeed very badly but also I love our failwife dearly regardless... high draft pick who was touted as a goal scorer... can't let go of that identity... every coach hes ever had psychoanalyses him and is a leeetle obsessed with nursing him back to health like a sickly baby bird <3. gmmg give him 8x8 ! his place on this roster is very uncertain given that this was his 'prove it' year and it didn't go super well. i dread losing him. every day that ticks by where we don't hear about him re-signing leaves me less and less hope

Jack Studnicka compels me so much. We call him Dave . dont ask. He's in the process of shaking off his previous identity as a playmaking center and his anxieties/insecurities about uhhh having to fill the gaping hole in the Bruins' forward core left behind by a bunch of their veterans leaving. He's learning how to drive a checking/energy line and I feel a tenderness for him I can't describe... he's almost almost made it to the show and he will do whatever it takes to stay.

regarding certain trade rumours

There is once again trade buzz around Mario Ferraro.

...i think the rest of the league is under the impression he’s a top 4 calibre d-man. this is very funny and also i’m terrified that gmmg will trade him because of this. You truly don’t get a feel for how little any given team’s media pays attention to other teams - how little the national media pays attention to the western conference good GOD — until you follow the cali polycule.

if any disappointed Leafs fans are reading this after it was suggested they aren't looking to acquire him anymore . my brother in christ. Mario only eats those minutes because he’s got seniority here by default !!!! we simply do not have anyone else because they’re injured or they suck!!! i would go to war for our youtuber ,hes the greatest gamer and d-man in the entire league in my heart BUT i do have eyes and as the kids would say . he has improper crosshair placement and can't mulligan to play on curve </3

And for nuance…. perhaps there IS something to the fact that Mario was like .the only one who survived the 2019-2023 San Jose Rookie Woodchipper/Meatgrinder/Hydraulic press. idk. i wasn't there. He’s had a career high year this year (not that 21 points is that high asdljkasklj but. again. 23-24 sharks) so maybe he’s just waiting for the right conditions to break out, a team where he isn’t solely responsible for gluing the shambles together, and all the chatter about him being a prime trade target is true and this summer will be when his trade value is at its highest. it still doesn’t change his value to this team as a locker room personality and leader. He’s made zero statements about wanting to leave. the current regime does do Personality Hires and Intangibles (see Luke Kunin and i suppose now the Goodrow acquisition??), we can’t have our upcoming d-core thrown into the deep end without some mentorship and it certainly isn’t gonna come from Pickles — not that he can’t, i just believe in Marc-Edouard Vlasic’s right to be a bitch in peace! no one is untouchable but im 90% sure Ferraro stays.

THE DRAFT AND OUR PROSPECT SITUATION

The Sharks currently hold picks 1, 14, and 33. 1OA is spoken for <3 so 14 and 33 are the ones we care about here. (we have a bunch of later picks to play with as well �� 42, 85, 116, 138, 143, and 194 if anyone was curious <3) And okay okay so,, Mike Grier was hired 2 days before the draft in 2022, which means 2023 was his first real draft year and this year will be his second. realistically, we simply do not have a lot of data for his drafting tendencies, nor will we know his 'hit' rate until years from now. our current pool, while thin, is looking... good? tentatively? the class of 2023 did very well. more on them later. so accounting for lack of data... i truly have NO idea whats going on except maybe we're leaning towards deepening our defensive prospect pool + throw in a goalie, and a slight preference for physicality and size but like thats every headass GM on the planet right now??? (as i type this out, ozzy weisblatt has been traded away for a someone over 6ft tall!! the mike grier big boy plan strikes again….)

so. i won't speak to who i think the sharks will draft but you will get to hear a very rough essay fragment i don’t think i’ll ever finish:

something i’ve been thinking about lately between reading all of these prospect draft profiles (and to an extent, making prospect slides for the sharks) is how few guys make it to the big show. these 17-18 year olds have dense paragraphs written about their puck handling and skating and hockey IQ — i enjoy the stylish ones that say stuff like “he’s the most creative forward in this year’s draft, he’ll dangle your best over a cliff” the most — but how many of them will pan out in the end? here, i could pull up the numbers. i don’t need to. we all know there are only so many nhl contracts to hand out, and only so many stalls in a locker room.

i’ve grown attached to a few names though their draft profiles. there are little threads of narrative you can catch from reading their game reports in chronological order. some of them visibly gain confidence month to month as they solidify their identity within the system and team they play on, some of them master board battles, some of them find their scoring touch. i am charmed by the interview fragments i’ve seen, their stupid answers to "what animal would you be?", the silly facts livetweeted by scouts at the combine. many of them come highly touted — the 2nd-12th project as almost certain NHLers. i’ve seen them shine in their juniors and ncaa matches. I feel like they must be destined for greatness.

Yet, i go back into the histories — a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, thirty years and beyond — and the histories tell me that no matter what was being said the day they got drafted, anything could happen. 7th overall buried in the press box. 123rd overall breaks a scoring record in his d+1 year. 29th overall carves out a regular spot on the first line and goes on to score 40 goals. 1st overall never scores more than 62 goals in the NHL. it's probably not smart of me to become invested in so many when, statistically, a whole lot of them will fail to live up to their projections. in the back of my heart, right behind all the inadvisable sentiment, lives a scream of frustration. it isn't fair that for the majority of these kids, the draft is as close to the nhl as they'll ever get. i hate that not everyone will get to reach for the stars. my heart will be broken when one or more of my favourites inevitably burns out of the league. and the real horror is knowing all this hasn't stopped me from becoming endeared.

my current draft favourites, no thoughts head empty if i could have any of these guys on the sharks:

Berkly Catton absolutely will fall to 14th overall in my HEART!!! this stupid league and its stupid preoccupation with tallgirls. doesn't matter that some of the best players hockey has ever seen were under 6ft tall <3 doesn't matter that high impact nhl players RIGHT NOW are hanging out around the 5'10 mark. Berkly Catton is elite stock by so many metrics except for his size (5'11, ~163lbs) and THAT will ensure he falls in the draft. and the dream is if he falls to 14th we snap him up and he comes to hang out in cali <3 i love his fish-eyed blank stare. he said he'd be a dolphin because they're slippery <3 and here's the short version of what I've read per his draft profile: he played on a bad team, with heavy minutes, being targeted by every opposing team as the only threat, and still doubled his output during his draft year. all of this while he worked hard in his own zone, dedicating himself to the more 'boring' aspects of the game. like he will hustle for a backcheck god BLESS. i love when skilled guys are defensively responsible SO MUCH. what little i've seen myself of his raw skill is incredible. magical hands maintained with speed. i also like how much he scans. i love being freaked out about a highlight, wondering how he knew where his teammates were, scrubbing the video back and seeing him scan the ice regularly. its beautiful. just like playing league of legends jungle . ahaha <3

if not Catton, then Andrew Basha at 14th, and if not then 33rd. Despite how high some draft boards have him, the reviews are mixed as hell due to the Spectre of Gavin McKenna and Cayden Lindstrom that hangs over him. It did not stop him from having an incredibly strong season in the WHL. fast, skilled, works hard. puck mover. in learning about hockey, I have come to love transition forwards SO much. Troy Terry was my favourite Duck to watch when he wasn't exploding <3 Controlled zone entries are soooo gifable to me. i got no clue if Basha will be available at 33 - a few are predicting he falls to the second round - or if the sharks would want him even then, but I would love to see him on the Sharks! if his speed and skill on breakouts can translate to the NHL it would be bitchin!!!!!! also, I have this idea in my head that he's already used to playing with elite talent and so wont be swallowed up by the huge shadows celebrini and smith will cast. maybe he can manage egos, maybe he's just really good at working around prodigies, maybe he's a prodigy himself, who knows!! I am compelled though!!

for d-men... Zayne Parekh. There are serious concerns scouts have with this guy's game. he is described by some as thee boom-or-bust prospect of this year's draft. dynamic as hell offensive defenseman, does things no other prospect in this draft would even think to do and . um. sometimes that thing is turning over the puck <3!!! or, as a random red wings podcast i was listening to this afternoon said: With Parekh, you might get Erik Karlsson, or you might get Erik Karlsson. and listen if you made it this far down you gotta understand that im a deeply unserious person about these things and this DID convince me that we GOTTA get him somehow. tbqh i wanted the Ducks to draft him because he was tragically separated from his bestie Pavel Mintyukov and i think a reunion would bring about an unprecedented era of world peace. but also. if they were on RIVAL TEAMS in the BATTLE FOR CALIFORNIA!!!!!!! oh that would be delicious <3 There's absolutely no way Parekh falls to 14th but this list isn't about realism its about my silly little dreams <3

Cole Hutson at 33 or 42 purely because i'm a fan of Lane Hutson (so so so jazzed to watch him play next season on either laval or montreal!!!!!) and they are similarly shifty and small. there is NO way mike 'you must be this tall to ride' grier drafts another 5'10 puck mover (<- more on this guy in a min). a fella can dream though <3

prospects who are my special little guys

Luca Cagnoni

ok quick recap. mike grier drafted Luca Cagnoni at 123rd last year. he is 5'10 (generously <3) and he's so special to meeeee <3 He's always been an offensive ROCKET!! so smart. WILL break ankles. great puck mover. great distributor on the pp. he's been working on his defence this year.

NO ONE THINKS HE'LL MAKE IT IN THE NHL BECAUSE HE'S LITTLE BUT EYE DO!!!!!!! If you go and check the Luca Cagnoni tag its literally just me and 1 other person. that 1 other person is now my friend. sometimes, my other sharks compatriots join in. but such is the nature of adopting a special little guy !!!

I get all misty-eyed thinking about how far he's come, from being undrafted in the WHL, falling to the 4th round in the NHL entry draft, and going on to have the strongest season a d-man in the WHL has had in 30 years. and yes he WAS the 123rd overall pick i was referring to earlier. He signed his ELC and it was the event of the offseason (to ME). it was more meaningful to me than the will smith signing i will be so real right now . I am hoping and praying that Luca gets a chance on the Sharks and flourishes.

sorry. sorry. i will NOT shut up about Luca Cagnoni. mike grier took a huge swing at the fences for him, he is so out of the gmmg wheelhouse its hysterical and i am genuinely shocked we drafted him. i wasn't there for it obviously but what was the draft floor like that day?? were people asking him Are You Sure, Sir. I'd have asked. i'd have knocked on his bald ass head to check if it was hollow (i, a bald person, can say this <3)

despite this. Luca Cagnoni WILL make it. ON GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kasper Halttunen

ok you saw me mem cup posting. this one isn't as deep!

i think he's got that dawg in him. him and his nepobaby london knights team were fun to watch!!!

i liked that he was squeezing denver barkey like a chew toy (gifed it, even!!!)

i am genuinely obsessed with the comments he leaves on other prospects' instagram posts. i've only looked around at a couple but yeah he's sure got a sense of humour <3

i would LOVE to see him develop out his 2-way game a little more and refine his beautiful bomb of a shot even further. i am excited to see how he progresses!!

bring him to the AHL as soon as possible gmmg i need to watch him squeeze the life out of his fellow sharks prospects

Macklin Celebrini

Alright this one seems so obvious because he's 1OA and automatically special BUT you guyyyyys. you guyyyyysss.... he's soooo good. I watched a couple of his college matches. I went back and watched some of his worlds matches. i have devoured so much literature on him. remember when I said i love when skilled players are defensively responsible?? Macklin Celebrini is that guy !! he is just so Shaped. the shape is Round. he is well-rounded like the beautiful sphere . the sphere where we will be drafting him. <3 yay !!!

no joke he IS a bit of a goon. finished his checks with a surprising amount of brutality in all the games i watched !! and like he had to be, I imagine he was getting targeted to hell and back in the NCAA. being 17 and playing against grown men. i like that he's got a bit of bite!!

listen, when the scouts and journos and pundits and coaches say he's "got a motor", what they mean is HE IS RELENTLESS. HE WILL NOT GIVE UP ON A PLAY. HE WILL RUN YOU DOWN AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SCORE ON YOU. HIS TEAM FOLLOWS HIS LEAD.

I just... I get the feeling he raises the people around him up to his standards because they can't help but want to match his intensity. I get the feeling that he is, aside from a great player, a great fit for the kind of culture the Sharks are trying to build. the Never Say Die Team. the We Will Eat You Team. i am completely, utterly endeared by his work ethic.

I think his little :^| face is so funny. i have posted about this before but when he smiles it looks like he has a few too many teeth and its GREAT. our shark. OUR SHARK!!!!!!

Honourable mentions:

Danil Gushchin: undersized creative forward with soft hands heloooo i love uou. mwah. unseat one of our girlfailure depth players next season i want to see u in the nhl <33

Shakir Mukhamadullin: Shak my noodleshark . he will absolutely see NHL ice full time next season if we remain bare on defence, so im not sure he counts anymore as a prospect. i believe in him so bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Georgi Romanov: unironically I think hes our only realistic hope for a Goalie of the Future. please survive the sharkuda experience my love <3

Will Smith: ROBBED of the hobey baker by our very own macklin celebrini. doesn't matter because he scored a dicktrick at hockey east finals and that shit was funny as hell. i think of him in terms of his boybestfriends BC Line which is forever shattered by his decision to sign with the sharks which means hes the driver of tragedy which makes him ELITE in my eyes.

honourable mentions 2 (obscure non-sharks edition):

Isaiah George: i fear i will actually have to watch the NY Islanders soon enough when they play him . i was watching the London Knights for Kasper and, as I do sometimes, I was struck by lightning after seeing him do something really interesting. I think I can probably go find the exact tags from when he first caught my eye. anyway! i am invested in him now and there is 0 current coverage on him !! ough my smooth skating defensive defenseman <333

Aatu Jamsen: a high skill/flashy forward the la kings signed to his ELC not too long ago <3 excited to see him play for the Ontario Reign. his lore is incredible. not to shill my own blog but i did a small post about him here and i am BEGGING everyone to go find out about him he moonlights as a RAP MUSICIAN!!!!. lak do not to bury him in the AHL forever im on my KNEES

Xavier Simoneau: les habs and their prospects got me. little guy (5'6) who is a bit fight-y. can and WILL go to battle against huge opponents for a puck and WIN. i look at him and slap my knee and i think. god damn he might actually do it. he might actually make the NHL.

Okay I think I will stop here before i start goin off about all the little guys i have tucked away...!! thank you for your time. thank you for handing me a mic and an excuse to yell about my little fellas. wehaveagathering dot tumblr you are thee flyers source to me. our failteams will soon share a shade of oranmge. I am very excited to fall in love with them!! <3

[restinsodaroni]

I'll try posting the FAQ this way lol, hopefully this works better! So read below to see the asks I will and won't accept or answers to common questions I get! I'll be linking this in my pinned post!

Alright! Please read this before sending in an ask!

REMEMBER AN ACTUAL PERSON (Me) RUNS THIS ACCOUNT NOT SUN OR MOON! KEEP THAT IN MIND BEFORE SENDING ANYTHING!! THANK YOU!!

🚫Evidently I am going to have to be stricter now since I have been creeped out numerous times on here. So yeah I will be blocking folks who keep disregarding my boundaries, constantly ignoring my FAQ, or just being impolite! Sorry! 🚫

Here's a post where I talk about said boundaries.

Hey so please don't:

• Send me any questions that ask about what would Sun and Moon do if you were harming yourself no matter the severity or the circumstances. It makes me uncomfortable and I shouldn't have to explain why.

• Spam the same ask especially everyday! That is not gonna get me to answer you. Spamming = Block I am not going to be lenient about this anymore!

• Send me an ask to change Y/N's body type.

• Expect me to answer your ask right away. If I could answer them quickly I would but that's unrealistic for me

• Nitpick my art, it's very demotivating especially if it isn't a helpful critique. Like yeah you can point out bad anatomy or perspective, but if you get on me for making Sun's eyes glow in the dark, then that's just a nitpick.

• Tell me you don't like my art style, but you like my comics. It's not the compliment you think it is!

• Be rude to me in your ask, that's just gonna get you blocked. I ain't putting up with it anymore.

• Send me roleplaying asks, this counts if you send me an ask roleplaying as an OC or character. I always get confused because I get sent info that I have no idea what they are saying because I know nothing about the Oc or character. I just don't know how to respond to it.

Alright here's some answers to frequently asked questions, or some do's and don't's to send me:

How do you pronounce your Username?

It's rest in sodaroni ! It's a play on the phrase rest in pepperoni. I made a joke about it a while ago with my sibling and decided to make it my username lol. Yes I know separating the words would have been ideal, but I'm not changing it now!

Can I draw you fanart centered around your AU?

Sure you can! As long as it’s sfw then its fine!

Are you ok with nsfw being sent to you?

I am not! I’d like to keep this blog sfw please! 

How come you haven’t answered my ask?

Well that’s because I get sent A LOT of asks. And a majority of them need comic responses which takes time to do. Not to mention my schedule is pretty hectic, even when I have free time I don't know if I'll have time to myself lol.

And I have other projects, art, and my Daycare Attendant fics I want to work on too sometimes. So just know if you send in an ask it may take me a while to answer it!

Also I may not have a good idea how to answer your ask at the time. Or I'm just overwhelmed at the moment lol 😅 And please don't spam the same ask in my inbox. Spamming = Block

Where can I read your fanfics?

You can read them right here!

‼️ Disclaimer! Please read the tags and summary for either fics! I don't want you to be blindsided when you find out the fic isn't 100% fluff or wholesome! Just gonna give you a heads up lol ‼️

When will the next chapter of your fic(s) be out?

I promise you I'm working on it! It just takes me longer because of the drawings since I am putting more effort into them now! Thank you for your patience!

Can I use one of your drawings as an icon, wallpaper, etc?

Yeah that’s fine!

Why did you draw Sun, Moon, or Eclipse like *Insert questions here*?

Why does anyone draw the way they do? Because I wanted to lol, and I like how it looks. That's basically it haha. Everyone is drawing the Daycare Attendant how they want, I don't think there has to be some deep reason for it.

Will you ever turn on anon asks again?

No I don't think so, Sorry!

Do you roleplay?

Nope!

Can you draw me/myoc/my sun and moon/a meme?

Sure! But please send a picture of what you want me to draw! I got a handful of asks that requested this but sent me no reference photos so I don’t know what to draw lol.

Also don't send me drawing prompts of your characters/You getting too intimate with Sun and Moon or even Y/n. (Yes, I have to add Y/n on here now...)

If you want a hug cool, anything more than that I will probably not draw since some people can't behave lol.

If you send a question about wanting to be mean or even hurt Sun or Moon just don't get upset by the response you are given lol. It's just a comic, it's not real and Sun and Moon are not really mad.

Where do you get your gifs/screenshots of the Daycare Attendant?

I watch a lot of Fnaf security breach sfm videos on YouTube so sometimes I come across a funny video clip and screenshot or make a gif of it. If you'd like to know which video I got the image from I can try to see if I can find it!

Who is your favorite? Sun, Moon, or Eclipse?

I’ll be honest, I can’t pick between the three lol. I like them all!

One of your drawings came out weird or bad.

Please elaborate. You aren't being very helpful if you just tell me my drawing is bad, then leave without an explanation or a way I can improve. People on here do this to me a lot and I am quite tired of it.

I don't like your art style/ I don't like how you draw Sun, Moon, or Eclipse/ You don't draw as good as the other artists.

It's fine if you don't like my art style, but please just keep it to yourself, your blog, your friends, your grandmother, or whatever. Like idk why people on here felt the need to tell this to me, but yeah don't do that. And no, telling me you don't like my art style but like my comics isn't the compliment you think it is. I wouldn't have cared so much until I got a few people telling me this pretty much every time I posted. I ignored it as long as I could lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't like how you interpret/write Sun, Moon, Eclipse.

Okay 👍🏻

This pertains to a few asks so I'll address it here:

I know when someone is fetish farming, I'm not naive lol. Like it seems really suspicious when I have the same person/anon desperately trying to get me to draw a specific ask 👀 soooo cut that shit out lol. It's very creepy and goes against my consent. Also chill with the dark humor.

*Ok so I’m going to be talking about a heavy topic here so read no further if you experience thoughts of self-harm or depressive thoughts!*

I don’t believe I would get an ask like this again but this is just in case! ( Edit: nevermind I did get more asks pertaining to self-harm smh ) I don’t mind drawing you something if you had a bad day, but I will not draw something for someone who requesting me to comfort them with a drawing of Sun or Moon because they self-harmed. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but I just can’t. I go over my reasoning in this post. Please don't send me any self-harm related questions!

*End of the serious topic!*

And that should be it! I may update this down the line! Thank you for taking the time to read this! (I know it's a lot of do's and don't's 😅 sorry about that!)

[cstslives]

bbbbbrilliantly is weird :/

(it's not just her, there are some others but she's the worst in my opinion)

I'm a Certified Lurker™️ but this is just getting too much for me. I can't scroll the hashtag without cringing. I mean she been weird but this is too far. It makes being in the fandom difficult.

Stalking the girl and posting about it....

Then creating a space on her blog for people to just bash her and anybody else that Letitia hangs out with. Creating all these stories in your minds and then BELIEVING IT. This is real life y'all this ain't no fic like c'mon.

She goes off when anons call her out but happily posts anything sent by anons that she agrees with. I personally made a comment saying I thought it was weird that she had stalked the girl and all the comments under that post were over the line as well. She blocked me and the comment is gone.

It's not illegal to wonder about Tishs personal life, but to go THIS deep is crazy. If you're gonna choose to be creepy you should keep it to yourself or pms with other weirdos like yourself.

I'm hoping that she and all the people who are contributing to that dumpster fire blog are just 13-15 cause if they're any older than that... I'd be shocked fr

This post isn't just about bbbbbrilliantly but all the people who contribute to the DEPRAVITY in her comments and asks. It is W-E-I-R-D

[j0kers-light]

Joker's Loyal Three: Invite Me (What-If)

Invite Me - Neo Edition ❤️

Hey hi everyone! I polled the blog a while back to see if anyone would be interested in a short oneshot of how (potentially) you and your choice of the Loyal Three would meet! And here we are!

Last but not least, we have Neo! Why was he so difficult to write?! I deleted like theee drafts of this 😭 I just hope you enjoy loves. I linked the song that inspired this fic above, again the lyrics are in the fic 🖤✨

You hated your friends for dragging to you out tonight. 

You needed to ‘get out more, find your person!’ Whatever that meant. They hustled you into something form fitting and styled your hair until the curls set perfectly.  

“If a man don’t snatch you up, I just might.” One of your friends said in passing. You just rolled your eyes and let them charter you off to some club you never heard of before.  

The flashing neon lights and pounding music instantly gave you a headache but you pressed forward. The girls in your group received a special wristband that warmed your skin at the front entrance.  

“It has a tracker, like no child left behind technology. I’m telling you, Y/n. The owner is a genius!” Your bestie explained.  

“..yeah and I heard he’s f__king hot.” Another friend giggled.  

Oh boy. Tonight would be interesting indeed. 

Another Friday night with good music pumping, drinks flowing, and people moving to the beat.  

There wasn’t anything else like it. Neo enjoyed the electric air his main club created. He could look out and see the sea of bodies moving together and that brought him a sense of pride.  

Neo stood on the upper floor with his business partner as they both overlooked the club. “Is Boss doing aight?” He asked.  

Mac sighed as he leaned his forearms on the guardrail. “He’s with B tonight.” Both men knew what that meant. A calm four-day weekend for everyone.  

The loyal three could roam Gotham City and play but perhaps Neo didn’t have to go far.  

It was like the crowd parted on command to give you the center spotlight. Deep red and blues highlighted your body for Neo’s gaze as you moved with a grace of a butterfly.  

Beauty ain't no issue for someone like you, he thought. You should know better walking into his club dressed as you were. You were a pretty little thing he wanted to sink his teeth into.  

Mac’s posh accent cut through Neo’s thoughts. “She is not your type.” He warned.  

Neo’s hazel eyes glared at the blond. “Why ain’t she? She’s a f__king ten. Sober.”  

“My point exactly. She’s too good for you.” Mac sarcastically replied. Neo frowned at his fellow goon.  

“I just wanna have some fun Pretty boy. It's not like I’m gonna date her.” Long term relationships were not Neo’s style. Life was too short to be tied down to just one person.  

However, he couldn’t deny something about you demanded his attention. His eyes led him right back to you out on the dance floor. 

They both watched you throw it back on one of your friends and Neo instantly bricked up at the sight. You were making it move in slow motion.. He needed some of that for the night.  

“You might break her or something.” 

Neo laughed at the statement. He often forgot that Mac was so well-mannered that rough sex wasn’t a concept to him. “Ha! Girls love that rough s__t! Especially the shy ones.” Neo winked.  

Mac simply shook his head. “Whatever. Just send her hospital bill to me when you’re done.”  

Neo flipped the blond off before returning to the show.  

He made up his mind rather quickly seeing your carefree smile. He had to have you. Once Neo set a target on someone, there was no escape. He grinned as he headed down the stairs to talk to you.  

You could use a break from the dance floor, so you gathered everyone’s orders and headed to one of the many bar counters in the club. For such a large place, you were able to place your order in record time.  

It was made possible in part to Neo who had already flagged your wristband to the staff. His shiny new target deserved special treatment.  

You were accepting your choice of alcohol when a fine looking man approached you. His hooded eyes drank you in as his cologne filled your senses. “Hey Mama, you enjoying yourself?” 

What a weird question to ask but you nodded mid sip. You weren’t going to answer verbally, and Neo noticed your aversion. “Nah Ma, I’m askin’ cuz I’m the owner.”  

As if you never heard that line before. “That’s nice.” You finally chirped over the loud music.  

Oh, you sounded divine. So sweet yet sultry, he was addicted after just two words. He cleared his throat as if you didn’t catch him off guard.  

“Can I take you home? I can show you something better than nice.” He smirked.  

Did he seriously think that line was gonna work on you? The club's neon lights worked their magic on his light skin and you shouldn’t help yourself from staring. His braids were neat and they accented his sharp handsome features but those eyes...  

Hazel like a hot cup of tea steeped with trouble. 

He was the type of man mothers around the world warned their daughters about. A bad boy who broke hearts for fun. Stay far far away. 

You didn’t want to be another tally mark on his bedpost.  

"I don’t know you.” You thought that would be the end to this strange conversation, but Neo wasn’t finished.  

“C’mon invite me baby, I ain’t running no game.” He leaned down so he could whisper directly into your ear, “Don’t be ashamed if you want to have a lil fun for the night.” 

You rested your hand on his chest to hear him better, only to playfully pushed him away after hearing his corny pickup line. His alluring cologne was messing with your head. Or maybe the aura he exuded was the culprit.  

Either way you were tempted.  

His cocky grin clearly meant he knew all about the affect he was having on you. He was too deadly for your own good. You drank some more liquid courage.  

“Fun? No thanks, you look like trouble on two legs.”  

Neo quickly corrected you. “Three Mama.” 

Now that made you roll your eyes. You knew what he was about. You weren’t going to let him stomp all over you after he got what he wanted.  

This is exactly why you didn’t want to come out tonight. Your heart was still gravely wounded to be surrounded by men who would only waste your time. 

You heard the group’s order being called and turned to ask for it to be delivered to the booth. If you tried to carry it in your current mental state, you would just make a fool of yourself.  

The bartender was about to decline the outlandish request until he saw Neo’s glare over your head. It was now a direct order from the owner.  

You relaxed into Neo’s warm chest, and he didn’t mind the random action. He just wrapped his arms around your waist and enjoyed the feeling as the music played on in the background.  

He could really get used to this..  

That is, until you snapped back to reality and jumped away. He wished you quit with the mixed signals. 

“You really something else, though I can’t lie.. when you deny it kind of excites me.” He smirked at your dubious glare. “Make up your mind, Princess. This s__t ain’t rocket science.” 

P-Princess? The normally sappy nickname sounded anything but coming from Neo. His voice twisted the word around and made you melt inside. 

Thankfully the club’s lights hid your blushing features. 

You bit your lip while lost in thought. This club owner was tearing down your walls the longer you stayed in his presence. It had to be his good looks doing all the work because his arrogance was a bit too much for your tastes. 

He nodded along to the current song as he spoke, “Can I at least get your number?” 

Now, there was no harm in that. You knew he'd be flooded with numbers tonight and would quickly forget about yours. This request you could agree to. “Fine, may I have your phone?” you asked. 

It alarmed you just how fast he whipped it out. You didn’t think more of it as you entered your contact info before handing him the device. 

Neo glanced at the screen, “Y/n... I like that.” Your name sounded heavenly falling from his lips, and he even said it right on the first try!  

Right as you were going to ask for his name, the DJ came onto the club’s speakers with a mashup of your favorite song. One of your friends appeared out of thin air and practically dragged you away, “You gotta dance with me!!”  

A part of you was glad for the rescue yet looking back and catching Neo staring at you with that irresistible smirk of his, made you hesitant. Why did it feel you were making a big mistake in leaving?  

“Go on Princess. Have fun.” Neo urged. He pocketed his phone and nodded towards the dance floor. He needed to handle some business downstairs anyway.  

The last thought on your mind was the sexy club owner winking at you in farewell.  

His plans for the night were ruined but some way or another, Neo knew you would eventually end up under him. All he had to do was be patient. 

And thus began the year long game of cat and mouse.  

It did shock you the night after visiting Neo’s club that he texted you. You didn’t think he would remember you and your friends rejoiced, thinking this would lead to something. If they only knew who you were texting. 

Although Neo’s demeanor over text starkly contrasted his f__k boy persona in person.  

He would ask about your day, perform wellness checks (he all but threatened you to drink more water), asked if you made it home safely, and he also sent you audio messages whenever he had the time.  

The first time he sent you a ‘good morning Mama’ message in his lustful sleepy voice, you about died.  

You left him on read as you screamed like a high schooler with a crush. By far, Neo texted you more than the other girls on his roster.  

There was no drama with you. You didn’t demand to see him all the time, you never asked him for anything despite Neo wanting to buy you the world. He filled your gas tank and always bought your favorite candy or snacks on dates.  

He did everything he could to persuade you towards his agenda, and still, you denied him. 

It still excited him just like the first time.  

You were a challenge, like a target that wouldn’t stay still, and your sweet alluring smile did something to him. Neo loved the softness you brought into his life so he tolerated the blue balls you constantly gave him.  

He would have backed off if you weren’t interested but with the way you clung to him on late night walks or gazed into his honey eyes after a fun night at the skating rink— you obviously wanted him.  

Something always stopped you from diving into the deep end with Neo. And Neo wanted to prove he was worth the dive.  

Overtime, he cut off his other side chicks, purging all his situationships and loose ends to obtain a clean slate with you. He spent more time with you to prove a point that you were the main girl in his life, and it showed. 

The boys teased him relentlessly for the sudden change. Mac had the audacity to call Neo whipped and Frost was no better.  

Whenever Neo was caught smiling at his phone, Frost would ask “Is that your girlfriend?” 

Neo was not dating you. He did not do relationships, but he wasn’t blind to the similarities.  

He did everything a boyfriend would just without the benefits. It should have pissed him off yet oddly enough, it made him work harder to earn your affection. The once infamous Casanova was getting lovesick.  

If only you would free him from the friendzone.  

You knew about Neo’s reputation. He was a fboy through and through and the rumors that followed him were even worse.  

You were playing the long game to protect yourself.  

No one had managed to tie the young marksman down and he wished someone would try. But that all changed now that you were in the picture. Neo wanted you to give him a chance.  

Twelve months later and you would still bashfully look away whenever he gave you a compliment. Neo whistled the moment you walked up to him at the amusement park entrance.  

“Girl, you so beautiful, don’t be ashamed.” Your gorgeous body was clothed in your favorite outfit, and you spun in a circle per Neo’s request.  

You should know better ‘cause there ain’t no one better to earn his compliments and praise. He didn’t give them out so casually. You deserved every lazy smile and hushed, “D__n, you fine Mama.” he made.  

Each compliment hit hard and Neo wasn’t stopping anytime soon.  

Neo planned a long night for the two of you. He was going to show off during the carnival games and win you one of those giant plush toys.  

All the sappy lovey dovey relationship stuff he turned his nose up a year ago, he wanted to experience with you.  

And he did. He shot the targets with a concerning accuracy and won a giant plush of your favorite character. His smug grin never faded as he bought you cotton candy and fed you bits and pieces as the two of you walked around talking.  

You noticed how he kept staring at your sugar stained lips. The tension was growing as the sun settled into the horizon.  

As the stars began to illuminate the Gotham City sky, Neo grabbed your hand and directed you to the Ferris Wheel. 

“You scared of heights Princess?” If you were/weren’t, he still held your hand the entire ride up.  

He wanted to make a move and kiss you for the first time. He couldn’t go another day without knowing what your lips felt like. Nothing was going to stand in his way. He waited a year for this.

Once the wheel reached the top and you were temporarily distracted by the view, Neo curled his hand around your neck to turn you towards him.  

“N-Neo...?”  

“Shhh...please girl don’t fight me.” He whispered on your lips.  

You were worth the wait.  

Neo had never felt a stronger connection to someone just by a mere kiss. He tasted the cotton candy you ate earlier but more importantly, you. 

Neither of you noticed the wheel was descending back to Earth during the kiss. You broke away with a whimper and Neo kissed along your jaw to collect himself. 

He was screwed. You had him down horrendous and you didn’t help things when you bit your lip right as the gondola made it to the terminal.  

Your beautiful e/c eyes looked up at him as you said what he’d been waiting an entire year for.  

“I-I made up my mind, Neo. Do... do you want to go to my place?” 

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 28 October 1954

Of our two songs, this week, one is pretty familiar. In fact, it's almost like I've just heard it very recently, maybe written up a blog post about it... The other, thankfully, is an unknown.

This Ole House - Billie Anthony (peaked at No. 4)

Yes, this is just a cover of Rosemary Clooney's one, complete with the same comically deep bass, and many of the same vocal stylings. It's not bad, but it's definitely not throwing anything massively new at us.

That said, the introduction does feel different, if only because it changes the instrumentation. It's just as fast here, but we've lost the saxophone, and the result is a "doo-whack-a-doo" kind of vibe that's just as goofy as the original, but much thinner and sparser, texturally. It doesn't quite hit the same vibe where you feel that too many things are going on, and changing the jumbled piano of the original for a banjo robs it of something, even as it boosts the folksy feeling.

Surprisingly, the deep voice is also less deep and rich, and Billie's voice, while good, is clearly just imitating most of Rosemary's little quirks and intonations. The result is odd - a song that's trying for American folksiness, but Billie is quite audibly not American. She's not the most Glaswegian Glaswegian ever to sing, but once you know she's Scottish you can definitely hear it. There's a charm to it, but it's a different charm to Rosemary's version.

There are also some lyrical changes that subtly change the tone of the song. Instead of asserting that our main character won't need his house, as a fact, the bass voice now asks "Ain't you gonna need this house no longer?" which makes it seem less certain. We also get less overtly religious references. Instead of fixing to "meet the saints", we learn that "he's a-gettin' ready to fade away" which I at least think sounds a lot less optimistic. Likewise, instead of a reassuringly cheeky angel peeking in, confirming to the old man that it's time, we instead hear how "he seeks a new tomorrow through a golden window pane". Which again sounds less certain to me, or certainly more ambiguous. Plus, we don't know if he finds what he's looking for! They're small changes, but I don't care for them.

So yes, I still enjoy this song, but it's not a patch on the original. And apparently the record-buying public agreed. Number 4 is still nothing to be sniffed at, but it's Rosemary at No 1 for a good reason.

There Must Be a Reason - Frankie Laine (9)

This feels like something from a film, at least in the intro. It's all brassy and slightly jazzy, building to a cinematic sort of swell before settling into something slower and smoochier. It's nice enough.

And then we get the opening lyrics, which are frankly a little inane: "There must be a reason for raindrops to fall, / There must be a reason why mountains are tall, / And why are there stars in the sky? / There must be a reason why." The stuff included just feels so obvious and cliché, and it only gets worse as the list gets longer, as Frankie asks about the reasoning behind rivers, trees, flowers, birds with wings, seasons changing, dawn breaking, etc.

At this point, I remember that Frankie's had some religious songs, and I start to fear that this is a religious song. And then, the other shoe drops: "It was intended that way". So this is going to be that kind of song. As a person who firmly believes that Frankie is onto something here - and yes, your personal mileage may vary - even I don't find this particularly compelling as a thing to sing a schlamzy pop song about. It's a bit "All things bright and beautiful", and more than a little naff.

And then, almost worse, we take a distinct turn away from the religious, towards the personal and the romantic, as Frankie sings that "There must be a reason for falling in love / It must have been planned in heaven above". He wonders how they are so in love but states that - you guessed it - "there must be a reason why". Ugh. You're better than this sap, Frankie.

I don't know why this vaguely religious start and then the turn to the secular rubs me up the wrong way so much. Maybe it's just because it's a hideously overblown way to describe a romantic relationship. Or maybe I just don't like the way that Frankie sells his more sentimental songs. Give me a good Western theme any day!

He does have the range, though. I wonder if he's our most decorated chart veteran - certainly he's the one who's got there with the most varied assortment of songs, from romantic ones, to Western themes, to chipper duets, to religious songs. It's definitely some sort of achievement.

I didn't love either of this week's songs, not going to lie. I didn't hate either of them, though - they were just unfortunate in coming along in the same week. One suffers from being a slightly inferior cover of a song whose original I really did enjoy, and only just heard recently, and the other suffers some more fundamental issues because it can't decide if it's a love song or a Sunday school talk. Still, if I have to pick...

Favourite song of the bunch: This Ole House

[winchest09]

Hi I’m a new Supernatural fan, fellow Dean girl… needing some recommendations on who to follow. I don’t care about the actor’s personal life or drama though so drama free blogs would be preferred

Hey Sweetpea!

Welcome to the crazy! Aha! How are you finding the fandom so far?

Ahhh fellow Dean girl, I salute thee! What got you hooked? The eyes? The freckles? The lips? The deep voice? Or you know...all of the above? Ahahaha!

Still, it's made me smile that you've found me, me of all the blogs and I'm gonna try my very very best to point you in all the lovely directions of this fandom. So...lets begin!

Also - I also totally do drama free. Ain't nobody got time for that.

*cracks fingers and neck*

@deanwanddamons - reads a lot of fanfictions so there will always be new stuff on there, writes a few herself too! Also, a total sweetheart and super friendly. Will always help you where she can. I met her through SPN and we talk daily even 2.5 years later!

@smol-and-grumpy-  Her URL makes her out to be smol...and grumpy but I can assure you she is definitely not grumpy. Smol...i am, yet to determine ;) She is one of the kindest souls, always has the first super hot images of Jensen/Dean and has an eye watering long list of Dean fanfic.

@talesmaniac89 - The graphic queen. Wanting a new Dean/Jensen wallpaper, icon - anything? Tales is your gal. She also writes and is a super positive lovely person who I adore.

@katehuntington - she's the Dean to my Sam. She's on hiatus right now, having a mental health break but doesn't mean her blog is still not a golden nugget in this fandom. Her series Ride With Me is impeccable.

@waywardbaby - a literal Greek goddess. She's such a sweetheart, and is so kind. She will always have the thirstiest pics and she will always be in the mood for Dean...if you get my drift ahaha.

@thinkinghardhardlythinking - A fellow UK girl who I wish I could live next door too. She's one of the most wonderful souls, and I always feel so honored to have her in my life. Fair warning, her fics are awesome and they are lengthy. It'll keep you good for hours ;)

@cockslut-padalecki - Another UK gal and Lisa is so so so lovely and I love her an incredible amount. She has a filthy masterlist for both Sam and Dean but fair warning, her fics are dark.

@janicho88 - Jenny is an angel. Never a bad word leaves her lips and she is also a fellow Dean girl!

@xlynnbbyx - drama free, absolute sweetheart and I adore the bones of her. She reblogs lots of fics, pics and like I said she's just a lovely lovely person.

@pink-sparkly-witch - Another sweetheart you can follow!! Fellow UK peep and a Dean girl!

@downanddirtydean - Lydia is one of the most passionate and kindest souls I know. We've been close friends now for well over a year and i just adore her. Just a little note though, she does support destiel so will post stuff about that from time to time! Just in case that's not your bag

@soaringeag1e - Meg is just a gentle soul. There is not a bad bone in her body and she is also a hardcore Dean/Jensen girl. You'll find so many fics on her blog!

@huffle-pissed - She is more Sam, and her blog is a mixture of her latest obsessions but she is still an absolute sweetheart. A ray of sunshine.

@chocolateheart - speaking of ray of sunshines, this girl BRIGHTENS my day constantly. Her fics are amazing (i know, i beta them) and she's just a bunch of pure gold goodness wrapped in a bow.

@watermelonlipstick - She loves her Sammy, with a side of Dean. Her writing is dreamy, and her friendship and the way she is is even more so.

@deangirl93 - My sweet aussie. Again, adore her and she is so so kind and caring. Her masterlist is also full of lots of goodies so definitely one to follow.

Offtttt this list is long already. Okay, gonna cut it down as these are other blogs to follow too that I haven't seen any drama from!

@winchestergirl2 / @440mxs-wife / @princessmisery666 / @dean-winchesters-bacon / @deanwinchesterswitch / @roonyxx / @couldabeenamermaid / @jay-and-dean / @writercole

ahhhhhhhhhh my mind is mush so im sorry if ive forgotten anyone, but I know that these peeps tag will add their own known DRAMA FREE blogs to this post to help you connect babes!

Once again, welcome to the fandom!

Much love Xox

[eryiss]

Drabble Request: Lipstick

Links: FFN, Ao3, Drabble Request Post

Notes: This was for @gk3389127-blog, who wanted something with Natsu crossdressing, with Gratsu involved. This was a ship and a topic I've never written before, so I hope it turned out okay. And just a little warning, there's a discussion of past internalised homophobia, in relation to a man wearing a dress. Read with care.

Summary: Gray should be on a mission with Natsu, but the flamebrain was late, meaning he needed to go to his shack. What he didn't expect to find was Natsu wearing a dress, with lipstick on.

Lipstick

Gray was gonna kill Natsu!

He trekked up the steep hill with a glare pointing down at the grass, body tense. They had a mission planned for today, Natsu knew that they had a mission planned today, and yet he hadn't shown up at the guildhall. Now, because Natsu wasn't listening when Gray had told him - about a hundred times - to meet him in the guildhall at noon, Gray was forced to go to the damn shack in the middle of nowhere and drag his teammate back to civilization.

On the top of the hill was Natsu's shack. Gray felt a renewed sense of anger about having to make the trip when he shouldn't have needed to. He stormed towards the building, going to pound on the door and knock. He always had to do this; Natsu was weird about nobody getting inside his shack. It was probably a bombsight inside, but Gray was pissed off, so he stormed in without knocking.

The inside was… unexpected.

It was a lot cleaner than Gray ever would have imagined. In fact, considering it was a run down shack in the middle of nowhere, it was as close to spotless as possible. And it didn't have the workout gear and dirty clothes he thought would cover the floor. Instead, it was… Gray didn't exactly know the word.

There were flowers, pastel covers, a deep and fluffy rug on the floor. His bed was well made and covered in pillows, everything was in order. Was this really the bedroom of the idiot flamebrain who he constantly got into fights with?

Maybe it wasn't. And, as Gray gaped, all anger leaving him, his eyes fell on a stranger. His stomach dropped; he'd actually walked into the house of a woman he didn't know, a woman who was going to think he was some damn pervert - where the hell had his shirt gone? - and was probably going to start screaming.

Except, it wasn't a woman. It was… no…

Squinting his eyes at the person in the corner of the room, he saw Natsu. But not Natsu as his battle ready self. This was a different Natsu entirely. He was wearing a light pink and black maid's dress, with high socks and heeled shoes. His hair, rather than the usual shaggy salmon mess, was a more pastel pink, flowed down to his lower back, and was in a plat style. At least, Gray thought that it was a plat; it might have been a braid. He didn't know the names of hairstyles for long hair!

What was most interesting was Natsu's lips. They were redder than normal, and the small tube of lipstick in his hand explained why.

He looked… cute. Natsu Dragneel looked cute.

For a moment, neither man spoke. Neither knew what to do.

Gray wasn't the most mature man, and he wasn't shy in admitting that, but he did know when to take things seriously. He closed the door to the shack so it was just the two of them, and slowly, wordlessly walked to Natsu's bed, sitting on it with enough space for Natsu to sit beside him should he want to. A quiet part of his brain noted that this was probably the longest Natsu had gone without speaking, but he pushed that to the back of his mind.

"You lose a bet or something?" Gray asked. Although he thought he knew the answer, he felt like maybe Natsu needed an out, if he wanted to take it.

"Yeah!" Natsu exclaimed, all too quickly. Gray knew that he was lying, and maybe it showed on his face, because Natsu's body tensed a little. "Leave."

"No," Gray argued immediately. The idiot annoyed him a lot, but Gray knew when to put that to the side. "Ain't anything wrong with what you're doing. Not exactly something I'd wanna do, but that's because I heard women's clothes are more expensive and with how often I lose clothes I'd probably be out of cash within a week."

Natsu didn't say anything. Gray wordlessly grabbed his hand, yanked him forward, and made him sit beside him on the bed. They didn't speak for a while.

"Don't tell anyone," Natsu requested quietly. "I'm not ashamed of this, but it's private. It's personal."

"I won't," Gray promised, not looking at Natsu for a moment. Every time he did he felt… weird? Natsu being cute had never been a possibility to him. "Can I talk about it now?"

"Yeah," Natsu said. "If you're a dick about it I'll kick your ass."

"It'll hurt more with the heels, I expect," Gray chuckled, but Natsu didn't. They weren't ready for jokes about this, apparently. Not yet, anyway. "Why do you do it?"

"Don't really know," Natsu said, but that felt like an automatic answer, not the real one. Gray let the room remain quiet for a while, before Natsu spoke again. "I've always been interested in it, you know? I'd see a dress sometimes and think 'damn, it looks awesome' then realize that it's for girls and not for me. Or I'd feel a piece of women's clothes and it'd be so soft and get pissed off because the stuff I wear is coarse and itchy. Never wore it before because, you know, boys don't do that," Natsu shrugged, then turned to look at Gray with fire in his eyes. Gray was trapped between his ferocious expression and his red, distracting lips. "And then I thought I'd saved the world loads of times and if I wanna look pretty then I should get to."

"Yeah, you should," Gray nodded. Nobody with a brain would argue with that. "And, it works. You look pretty."

"Don't be a dick, Ice-breath," Natsu snapped.

"I'm not, you look fucking pretty alright," Gray argued back, almost ready to start a fight. But then Natsu blushed - blushed hard - and it was like a punch to the gut. Natsu was pretty, and he was cute as all hell. Gray needed a distraction, and so asked the first thing he could think of. "The hair real? You use a spell or something?"

"It's a wig," Natsu explained, shifting it slightly before putting it back in place.

"It looks real," Gray said, before looking Natsu up and down quickly. Had he always been so… curvy? "Why the maid's dress? Was there a reason for it or did you just like it?"

"It's the first dress I ever got," Natsu explained, running his hands down the dress's skirt. "Got it from a costume place, thought that if anyone saw I could say it was for Halloween or something like that. Was kinda embarrassed about it. Still am, sometimes, even if I don't wanna be."

Natsu being embarrassed by anything didn't sit right with Gray. Natsu wasn't the kind of man who shouldn't feel embarrassed by anything, and Gray hadn't thought he could. In their time as friends, Gray could think of hundreds of times Natsu had done something that he would consider embarrassing, and he'd done it unashamedly and with a wide grin on his face. It was one of the things that Gray most liked about his friend, and yet buying a dress had been embarrassing for him? That didn't make sense. Especially when he looked so damn cute wearing it.

"Don't feel bad about this," Gray all but demanded. "Or embarrassed or anything. You're pretty as fuck dressed like this, and don't believe anything else."

"You're just saying that," Natsu scoffed.

"Yeah, because I'm always gonna try and boost your confidence, that's how our friendship works," Gray said sarcastically. Then, without really thinking about it, he grabbed Natsu by the chin and forced him to look at him. Gods, his lips! "You're pretty, Natsu. It's a fact. And If you wanna wear a damn dress then you-"

He was cut off, because Natsu had all but lurched forward onto him. For a second Gray thought they would be fighting, before Natsu's lips were on him in a kiss. It was needy, desperate, and soft. Gray melted into it without thinking, a hand moving up to lace in Natsu's hair - wig.

Maybe he should have been thinking about what he was doing, but he didn't. His lips were moving against Natsu's hand, his hands were roaming down Natsu's sides, feeling the ruffles of satin which was soft to the touch. He felt Natsu shift closer to him and a hand wrapped around the back of his neck to pull him closer. Gray sighed into the kiss, deepening it as best he could before pulling away for air.

He and Natsu looked at each other for a moment. Just like before, neither knew what to say. Again, Gray broke the silence.

"You wanna go out to dinner tonight," He said, voice barely more than a whisper. "Or maybe my place, if you want? You can, erm, wear whatever you want that way?"

"Yeah," Natsu was beaming, and Gray realized the only thing stopping him from falling in love with that smile for all the years he knew Natsu was the lack of lipstick. Now it was there, Gray felt everything click into place. This was always going to happen.

Natsu snickered, and Gray panicked, thinking maybe he'd said that out loud. "What?"

"You've got a little lipstick there," Natsu said, motioning to his own lips. Gray brought his hand to his lips and, indeed, there was a smearing of Natsu's lipstick on his own lips. Natsu was smiling. "Sloppy application, I'll have to teach you how to do it."

"Shut the hell up," Gray laughed, before pulling Natsu into another kiss.

[disengaged]

hello! i'm here from elliott's post about film class, you replied to her and i found out that you have a double major of film studies and psych. anyway, i scrolled through your blog and i think you are quite passionate and really knowledgeable about your major, and i'm not lmao (i'm a multimedia arts student, but i want to be like a film director someday). hence, i'm here to get inspiration and advices from. i actually already saved the books you recommended though!

i'm going to take a film language class this coming sem, and i feel anxious about it (+ the fact that i'm a beginner in every medium of art/media makes me feel out of place and undeserving of being in this major lol). i started advanced studying with Crash Course's free film history course, but i just feel lost, i don't know what to do. i feel like i should be studying 60mph because i can't keep up with anyone.

my school does not really do examinations right after every semester, even quizzes are non-existent. i don't have a classmate or friend that i can ask these questions because they have other interests that do not interest me. that's why i find it hard to understand anything. i'm currently at the burnt-out stage so perhaps the reason why i am so naive. but any advice will really help. thank you :((

DUUUUDE omg .... okay first things first, take a deep breath, it's gonna be okay

i really respect your dedication/the fact that you're trying to study before the class even starts, but like . if it's an intro-level course, you're gonna be ok !! TONS of people take FS courses as optional arts credits/"for interest", it's typically expected that you're not going to know everything. as long as you have the right prerequisites for the course, you should be doing ok! if it turns out your prof sucks (like elliott's) you can brush up on the rest as you go ♥️ :-0

like ...... if you're already dealing with burnout, studying super hard ahead of time is gonna make you feel even worse. & yknow ....... if it's really bad in the first week, just drop out tbh 🤷 some courses ain't worth it

in terms of exams: i'd say about half of my film studies classes have been essay-based rather than quiz/midterm/final exam-based, idk how your school works though

as for feeling 'undeserving' of your major ...... i can't really help you there, but you should know that imposter syndrome is super common in every single discipline and at any college/uni, especially in the fine arts side of things — but you're ok !! like !!! if you were a pro at everything already, school would suck ass. i hope u can get over this fear and better enjoy learning new things, cuz that's really what postsecondary is all about ♥️ it's ok to be naive, especially in subjects the average person knows jack shit about.

the path to becoming a director is ....arduous.... and typically requires training within the industry and/or a degree specifically in film production (which is different than the 'scholarly' branch of film studies) but if it's what you really want, go for it. put your heart into it, yknow, do whatever it is that makes you feel like you're doing something important. YOLO

it can be tough when your friends don't Get your interests, i'm here to chat anytime if you like tho !! film studies is basically my favourite thing on earth :'-)

also i saw u asked elliott abt notetaking ...... i use OneNote & i love it, it's great cause it puts your notes in The Cloud and you can access them from any device. super user-friendly and has drawing, highlighting, font changing functions, you can insert PDFs as printouts ....... i hate carrying my 5lb laptop to campus (and it doesn't fit on the little desk trays in my lecture halls anyways. fml) so i just have an iPad loaded up w OneNote and i'm set :-) i take some of my notes by hand but only for English/Writing/CMPUT classes lol, my FS and Psych classes go way too fast to keep up

[karasuno-writings]

Yo. I'm new to your blog, so I'll try my best to be appreciative and polite to you. Doing this gotta be hard. So, I ain't gonna act like you inhuman. This is your work, and its darn good. You got support for that. Anyway, I hope this ain't a weird request. Decline if your wanna, no hard feelings. How about headcanons with Tsukishima, Hinata, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, and Kenma. Them having a sleepover with their s/o, and they put their head in their lap, and sing to them? Is that confusing, or too many?

Ah thank you so so much for your kind words, I’m really thankful of how thoughtful you are! It is a perfect request and a very wholesome one honestly!! Yes I loved this and don’t worry it was just right! Thank you so so much again!

And thank you all who helped yesterday, I am sorry if it was bothersome for me to make my breakdown public but honestly?? It was all of you who made me feel better. Special thanks to @normiewrites @bakupecs @leiawriteshaikyuu @oyaoyaoyoya @wolfishwriting and @a-q-rp  (If you guys don’t want to be tagged just tell ma and sorry about that!) but if you wrote to me I really appreciate it, thank you all so much. 

Tsukishima

You went to his house due to a storm that hit Miyagi late at night after a date the two of you had. Considering you were close to his home that is where the two of you rushed towards. At arrival you were soaking, and he definitely could not let you go home while it was dark and pouring, so he suggested for you to stay the night.

Of course you agreed, so he handed you some pajamas and let you take a hot shower, how horribly irresponsible of him would it be to leave you freeze and catch a cold after all.

Depending on your size you either wore the full set or you found the pants to be too big but just the shirt perfect. Either way they were Dinosaur print pajamas, and he was blushing when you came out of the bathroom. 

He was wearing pajamas with a shark on the shirt, and looked way too cute for the frown that he has as a cover up for his slightly pink cheeks. 

His gaze softens quick enough though, the two of you have been dating for a long time and he trusts you, he didn’t feel vulnerable as he thought he would, that was the biggest relief.

It was early enough so the two of you sat down to watch a movie, his pick was interstellar, and you didn’t complain so it was set. 

15 minutes into the movie he pressed his lips on top of your head silently, your hair still wet from the shower, he could smell his shampoo which he immediately thought suited you, it felt so personal. 

That’s what made him shift so your head rest on his lap. You were clearly confused by his actions but complied to rest your head on his legs, pleased at the affection that he was only prone to show in private.

Your wet hair was fresh to the touch and soft in his hands, so he absentmindedly ran his fingers through it, dividing stands and twisting strands, all while immersed in the movie. 

Halfway through while being fully immersed, half conscious of what he was doing he started humming softly

You did not say anything as you knew better, but it however felt so heartfelt? It was truly a precious moment between the two of you.

Ever since that moment it is an unspoken habit between the two of you

He does it often, however it’s only late at night and while the two of you are enjoying quality time silently.

Hinata

He invited you over to his house for no real reason, he just wanted to spend more time with you and he thought it would be a nice “date”. So once you were at his house the first thing the two of you did was make a pillow fort

It was pretty big as you sat inside with your laptop playing some background music as you were just chatting it up. However he wanted to be closer to you so he just shuffled over. 

Once next to you he grabbed your head and placed it on his lap, probably a little on the harsher side because of his excitement. “Let me play with your hair Y/N it just smells so good!” 

As you nodded and chuckled he began untangling it and running his fingers through it. He either plays with it making small braids that he learned to do thanks to Natsu if it is long enough, or just gush about how nice it feels if it is short. 

He is talking to you about all his aspirations and you know volleyball until a song comes into his head, and he just kinda starts drifting away and starts singing it to you

He is smiling the whole time as he sings, brushing his fingers over your hair and taking loose strands off your face while looking into your eyes.

He smiles when he is done singing and he just silently plays with your hair for a few moments, he is very talkative but the moments of shared silence are so genuine and he is just admiring you

He started lowkey crying because he loves you so much, when you notice and ask he just hugs you and tells you that he just can’t believe he has you???

He is such an angel, this started happening frequently ever since, like whenever you are on a date in a more chill plan like staying at home he is very much singing to you while stroking your hair 

Please do it for him too, if you sing to him he will sing along with you and honestly karaoke duets happen very often between the two of you 

Iwaizumi

The first time you stayed over was because he had just lost a pretty important match and you wanted to support him. He really appreciate the offer and the fact that it was your idea was so much better, he just wanted to take his head out of the game. 

When he saw you wearing pajamas he had this adorable blush on because honestly you looked great. He usually sleeps in boxers but he is a gentleman so he had some comfortable shorts on. 

You both were chilling on his couch, this was after all a plan the came up out of the blue, so you were eating snacks while watching your favorite series. His arm was draped around you in a really lazy way, and his rough fingertips brushing your arm tenderly. 

As you watched the last chapter together he felt  you getting heavier against his chest and he looked at you, confirming that you were indeed asleep. 

He started at you for a few moments, you looked so soft with you eyes closed, he didn’t want to disturb you so he panicked for at least five seconds.

After that he relaxed and very carefully help you lie down on the couch, resting your head on his lap.

He pressed a kiss to you forehead and changed the finale so you would not miss it, and put on an animated film because he is a sucker for them.

He loved your hair so he began playing with it, knowing it would help you relax, he almost does it as a scalp massage, he is so good as helping you relieve stress. He was tender but rough, pretty much like he is with most things. 

You woke up slightly to hear him singing, he was not singing along to anything particularly, he just felt so at calm with you sleeping on his lap. 

You did not stir until he finished singing, that is when he noticed you were awake once more. The blood rushed straight up to his cheeks after that, he was very embarrassed.

That is until you pressed a soft kiss on his lips as you shuffled to look at him. His hands found their way to you back and he was smiling onto your lips. He just loves you so much.

He does it often, but the singing is a rare occurrence 

Kenma 

Neither of you planned the sleepover, however when the two of you decided to take a break from playing you discovered that it was incredibly late, so he asked you to stay the night.

He had this small smile as he said it, he liked the idea of getting to spend more time with you, specially if it meant he got to cuddle you

He lent you some pajamas or comfy clothes of his, he liked when you wore his clothing, it was a small gesture of what you meant to him. He is a firm believer that to date you just need a really deep friendship so he likes those small details that give off they you are indeed dating. 

The two of you had been playing games but now he just wanted to watch you play, so the two of you sat on the floor, his legs wrapped around you as he rest his chin on your shoulder, his arms loosely wrapped around you as he held his gaze on the game. 

It was late at night, the two of you had watched a movie and played some board games, he is unsurprisingly good at them, and now you were laying on his bed, head on his lap. 

The two of you were quiet as his hands found his way onto your hair, he then started playing with it, soft fingers meticulously dividing strands and tenderly running up and down your hair. 

He then started humming, a soft and almost ethereal tune,  as his eyes become droopy and his hands touched your hair carefully.

He has a beautiful singing voice, he however will not sing often, just in these precious moments.

Like that the both of you drifted asleep, only shifting almost in the morning, as you snuggled up to him. 

Kuroo

It started as a study date, the two of you knew exams were approaching so it always helped to study together, however when you suggested staying over this boy was ecstatic. 

When you arrived the two of you did study, long enough to get worn out. The second he saw you stress he decided to call it quits. He had prepared everything for this moment, from the movie the two of you would watch to the games you were to play.

When the two of you went to put on you pajamas he just smirked and mocked you, you just looked adorable and he honestly didn’t know how else to cope.

This dork lay blankets on the floor and pillows surrounding it, for the two of you to be comfortable so he literally lift you up and lay you down on the little place he had set up. He was about to put the movie but he got really caught up with talking to you and joking around to make you relax.

Then the two of you decided to actually watch the movie, some disney movie you had always loved, and before you could make yourself comfortable he was behind you, softly laying your head on his legs.

His hands quickly found their way to your hair he loved to play with it as a side distraction from the movie, and knowing it was something you liked made it all better. 

He sang along to every single song in the movie and honestly he played with you hair almost the entirety of it, you ended up very relaxed and his he now smelled like you, he was really happy about it. 

If you sing with him he will be beyond happy, making voices for different characters and all.  

However after it ended the two of you remained there, and as he saw you he smirked and sang you a song very dear to him, it was soft and honestly he just appreciated that he could spend this moments with you. 

You closed your eyes because it felt really good and just before you opened them he kissed you softly, smiling lightly. He was happy he took you by surprise. 

[johnnyscancerstick]

Chap. 9

Warnings: feels, death, cursing.

Characters: Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and a few random doctors and policemen.

Notes: @watermelon-chapstick , this is what I was talking about. I should let y'all know it takes a lot to make me cry. Teared up while writing this, and I think that means it's good enough to post. Lol, I'm well aware this was meant to be a shitpost, but I don't care. I wanted to write something feelsy and you damn know well I did and tried my best. I might make more of these in the future if people like this. Or, if people want more. I decided to post it on my own, not just a repost. I still put a lot of time into it, and I wanted it on my blog on it's own! This extra note is the only thing that's different — I didn't change anything else.

Word count: 1903

As quickly as it had started, it was over. Had this really happened? Or is it some fucking fever dream because of all the painkillers those hospital people had given me? No, it couldn't be. Dreams can't simulate this kind of stuff, we just beat the Socs!

‘I can't beleive they were gonna do this without me,’ that's not the only reason I wanted to do this, that's not the only reason I threatened to stab a bitch. Multiple. It was the only one I wanted to beleive but I know it's not.

I look down at Ponyboy, who was bleeding like hell and the rest of him looked even worse. He couldn't have been used to fighting solo, clearly. I shook my head, not going to ignore the situation any longer. I could miss my chance if I did that. I bent down and grabbed his collar, turning and yanking him up a bit after I started on a dead run. “Come on!” I couldn't hear myself. “We're goin' to see Johnny.”

Pony wasn't in any shape to be running but I could just remember Johnny's voice. He wanted to see everyone, but I knew there wasn't time. Ponyboy, if he could choose anyone to see it'd be him, wouldn't it? They were such good friends, and he's the one that will cooperate the most. Goddamnit, move faster! “Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left.” don't think about that. “He wants to see you.”

I'd taken Buck's T-bird here and I didn't plan to go any slower than 110 to get back to the hospital. I got into the driver's seat and rhe second Pony was halfway in he car, I got into gear and slammed on the gas. I almost hydroplaned it across a curve and then I heard the sirins. Great, out of all the times. Think of something, Winston, think of something.

I don't even turn to the boy in the passenger's seat, but I find myself slowing down the car. “Look sick.” I say stiffly, furrowing my brows and narrowing my eyes. This could work, I don't have time for a police chase right now. “I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough.”

The policeman said something like ‘Where's the fire.’ I wasn't paying attention. I glanced at him, I cant express how mad I was that he was slowing us down. Johnny only has so long!

“The kid.” I stayed cool, or at least I think I did, pointing at Pony. “He fell over on his motorcycle and I'm takin' him to he hospital.” Pony groaned a little, and I can't tell why.

The guy by the window looked nervous and glory, this was taking too long. “Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?” Oh, hell yeah, this could work. “How would I know if he's bar or not? I ain't no doc.” I fight a smile at how good this worked out. “Yeah, we could use an escort.”

The fuzz are really stupid, these days! “Sucker!” I hiss, he went back to his car. Now we didn't have to worry about traffic, or other cops. I don't know what I was mumbling about that entire ride there, I know I was talking about Johnny.

Once we were at the hospital I slammed the door shut and ‘helped’ Pony out of the car, but the second that police officer left, we were gone down that hallway. I heard yelling but I didn't even acknowlage them, I couldn't think of anything but Johnny, to the point where I let Pony's wrist go and I know he fell far behind. I didn't have time for an elevator, I raced up the stairs and almost clipped a wall a few times.

It felt like an eternity but I finally got to Johnny's room and I was going to break down the door if it wouldn't open. “I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying.” just those words sent horrible aches in my heart and I felt my chest tighten.

No, no, no. This isn't happening, he's not dying, he's not! Johnny can't die, he can't, this can't be happening. I take out Two's switch, whipping my head toward the doctor and jabbing it in his face. I didn't flick it open until I opened my mouth and started talking. “We gotta see him.” I said, my tone scared me even more than I already was, I hadn't heard myself like ths in a long time. I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows. I tried to be intimidating, I'd never had trouble with this before but now I was all trembly and it was visible, I could barely keep my hand still. “We're gonna see him and if you give me any static, you'll end up on your own operatin' table.” I sneer, I tried my best to keep my voice down.

This dude didn't even bat an eye, the little... Oh how I wanted to tell him off, I wanted to tell him just how much I needed to get into that room.

But he took me by surprise. “You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife.” I wasn't going to press, he was letting me in and for once I didn't want to fight. I put the switch back in my pocket and pushed the door open, I ran only for a few seconds before I swore something stopped me. I stumbled forward and made sure I didn't fall, and I could see Pony walk into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Johnny was white and looked still, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and shut them tight, it's not the end! Johnny isn't dead, he's not! He's just.. He's just asleep, he'll wake up any minute now. I took a few steps forward and wiped the sweat off my lips, “Johnnycake..?” my voice was low and hoarse, and I couldn't see even though it opened my eyes. I could barely hear anything else, everything else was shut off and didn't exist at that moment. Nothing was real, this wasn't what was going on. This really can't be happening.

Johnny didn't respond and I had to say something else. I had to prompt him again, this isn't how this ends. “Johnny...” I felt the hope drain from my whole body, but that little bit came up again when he moved. “hey..” his voice, god, that tore through my soul harder than anything else had.

I walked toward him after glancing at the Christopher around my neck, “We won.” I was out of breath and it was hard to get it back, I couldn't comprehend this and I just wanted to get him to say something. “We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory.” I said, I was desperate at this point. Johnny's eyes were barely open and I couldn't tell if he could see the tears welling. I bit my lip as he just gave an unsatisfied hum, “Useless...” he croaked, “Fighting's no good...” he was so white, and I felt panic rising within me again.

No, he's dying and this isn't going to be the last thing I say to him! I gotta tell him something, something that'll make him smile, I've been keeping so much in about him all this time, how hard would it be to tell him now? When I literally have no other chance..!

I licked my lips and tried to find my voice through all the emotion, “They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all.” I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't let it break, I didn't want to cry in front of him. That would make this even worse, that would make him feel awful, that would just be the worst thing I could do right now. “Yeah..” he hadn't responded yet but for the sake of my sanity I had to act as if he did, “They're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers.”

I couldn't say it, I just couldn't, it was too hard, I tried so hard but I couldn't.. Hopefully he'll get he message. “We're all proud of you, buddy...” I managed a smile, I felt hot tears run down my face. I tries to wipe them off, but they'd just look like dweat and I wasn't going to take my eyes off Johnnycakes.

He looked so happy, his eyes lit up. I let out a half sob and kept my composure, I took a deep breath and was about to day something else, but he spoke. “Ponyboy.”

I backed up. I wasn't going to take it away, I'd forgotten Pony was there. I'd forgotten anyone was there. Johnny wanted to talk to Pony, he'd already talked to me, danmit I'm so selfish.

I don't know what he said but as I stepped closer, he just...

I broke into a grin and felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was trembling, I could barely keep myself up, I felt like the world spun around me and for some reason, I wanted to laugh.

I reached a shaky hand over and brushed his bangs off his forehead, “Never could keep that hair back.” I could hear I was under pronouncing any soft sounds and I saw everything blur around me. “That's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk...” reality was setting in and I found it hard to breathe. Johnny wasn't... He.... He was.. He's not.. No. He's fine, Johnny is fine, nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I took a quivering breath, the smile faltering. I tried and I tried to keep it up, I know this wasn't what was going on, I know he's... But no, no I won't believe this. This is NOT what's happening, it's not it's.. It's not... It can't be... Johnny can't be dead, oh he really can't be... “There what you get..” I couldn't get the words out, I whipped toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could.

“Damnit Johnny..” I didn't have the energy, I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. I ground my fist and hit the wall again, grinding my teeth and trying to do anything but think of him.

Don't think of how he used to be

Don't think of what happened

Don't think of what happened to him behind closed doors

Don't think of what he did for those kids

Don't think of him not wanting to die

Don't think of him only being sixteen

Don't think of him never leaving Tulsa

Don't think of him...

“Oh, damnit, Johnny...”

Don't think of those mocha eyes and how they lit up whenever I smiled at him.

“Don't die..”

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he was-

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he is

“Please,”

Don't think of how he would have turned out.

Don't think of how good of a person he would have ended up being.

Don't think of all the things I could have told him

Don't think of all the things thst would have made him happy, thst would have made him smile.

“Don't die...”

[3gg-b0y]

I LOST MY BLOG IM GONNA CRY WTF

ANYWAY HERE'S THE SAME STORY FROM THE OTHER BLOG

IM SO SORRY

PLEASE SEND CRITISM SINCE IM AROACE AND HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT REAL ROMANCE

Wolf sits down and gazes upon the horizon. He spits out his tooth pick before going back to the town. He sighs as he drags himself across the dirt, internally yelling at himself to turn back. Eventually, he makes it to Buckly's house. He looks at a puddle and gazes at his reflection for a moment. God he was filthy. He tried his best to wipe his face clean of dust and groom himself a bit before turning back to the door. He shakily sighs one last time before knocking on the door.

"HEY SHERIFF!" He yells, knocking on the door. Rustling can be heard within the house before Buckly opens the door and pokes his head out.

"Wolf? The hell are you doing here?" he asks. Wolf takes a deep breath and takes off his hat.

"I'm... I'm turnin' myself in."

"You're what?"

"I'm turnin' myself in. Listen, everything I stole," Wolf hands him a small paper, "Every last bit of it is at this location."

"But why? I thought I told you the charges were dropped, now get out of here or else," Buckly says, slamming the door. Wolf shoves his foot in the crack of the door before it slams shut.

"JUST LISTEN TO ME, WALT!" He shouts through the door, "I'm not like that anymore! I'm gonna go right now if ya don't open up!"

Buckly opens the door just wide enough to look inside his eyes.

"Well then what the hell do you want?" Buckly yells. Wolf looks at him before looking back down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Well," he begins, "I... I love you Walt."

"What?" Buckly scoffs, "This has gotta be another big scheme of yours."

"No, no, no, it ain't like that at all." Wolf shakes his head, "We could be together. I'm tryin' to change-"

"Don't tell me you wanna marry me, too?" Buckly laughs, "I'm not some prize hog for ya to put on a shelf."

Wolf frowns. "It's..."

"I don't even know your NAME. Your REAL name."

Wolf clenches his fist.

"My name is Lee Carter Smith. According to town documents I've been missing ever since I was 15."

Buckly stands there thinking for a moment.

"You really mean it?"

"Yes!" Wolf shouts.

"Why did you wait so long to come forward about this?"

"Because when I came back I was a different man! When I was missing I had to deal with the harsh reality that this town was full of careless people who only cared about themselves," Wolf sighs, "I was full of hate back then. Not anymore though."

"Alright, well listen," Buckly pulls Wolf into the house by his arm, "If ya wanna kiss me, ya have to earn it."

Wolf can't help but smile as they embrace each other. He hasn't felt the warm embrace of another human being in so long, he hugs Buckly tighter with slight tears forming in his eyes.

"Anything."

"How about you take a bath first?" Buckly whispers, "Then we'll see."

[swimmingclassicrockpizzawombat]

Hey y'all, I wanted to post here something my teenage self wrote in their first attempt to write lyrics/express themselves that way after their first time getting their heart broken, since I decided I'm gonna be using this blog as my writing blog too!

Warning: It's BAD. Also a bit cringy and toxic lol. I just wanted to get rid of this thing in my notes app without dishonoring my 17 year old self and the pain they went through (to write this fucking poem and try so hard to rhyme lmfao... Yeah not him, he can lick my ass for all I care)

Painful Agonizing Failure

You kept coming back

Saying you had changed

and that despite all that

you would never hurt me again

And I, a fool,

Believed you everytime

Only for you to hurt me,

to hurt me all over again

And I can't take it

I can't take it anymore

People tell me to be wiser everytime

And everytime, you keep finding ways to break my heart

We just keep on making the same mistakes

And it makes me ask myself

When will I finally learn

that we were simply not meant to be

No matter how much the universe

disagrees?

No matter how much

It keeps pushing us back?

Only for you to hurt me,

to hurt me all over again

And I can't take it,

I can't take it anymore

Some days I wish we had never crossed paths

and we had never met

But other days I know

I would go through it all again

Just to be with you

And I try to tell myself we're through

But no matter how hard I try

It never seems to be true

I know it's wrong to have this desire

But I guess the heart wants

what the heart wants

And you keep coming back,

You never fail to come back

Just to hurt me,

to hurt me all over again

And I can't take it

I can't take it anymore

And though I love you

and want what's best for you

Or whatever makes you happy

Everytime I see you with her

feels like getting stabbed

A thousand times

Because deep down

I wish it could have been me

I guess I'll never stop loving you

But I can't bear it anymore

Everytime you come back

You just hurt me,

You hurt me all over again

And I can't take it

I can't take it anymore

----

Another Mess from moi:

I don't want to be with anyone if it's not him. I don't need him, I don't need anyone, but he's the only one that I want

We tried to leave the past behind, but how are we supposed to do that when it just keeps coming back to bite you?

I you were to come back to me and tell me you loved me I know I would fall for you all over again

But, I'm suppose I'm lucky

In that case since part of me knows you never will

You never even cared and you have no reason to,

given that you already have anything you could possibly want

and I didn't mean a thing to you.

I was just a plaything that came along,

and when the time came that you had had enough

you dumped me without a second thought

I know you said we would never be more than friends but that stupid part of me still hopes and thinks we could be so much more.

When something happens

I know she's the first thing on your mind

But baby, you're still the first thing on mine

You say she is the love of your life,

but that doesn't change

that you were the love of mine

You said, no you promised

You would always be there, but I think we both knew deep inside that was nothing but a pretty lie

made to make us both feel better

(Made to make me think that you cared)

Instead of facing the harsh truth

Well I know the truth know

(I think I always knew the truth but refused to accept it)

But that doesn't make it any less painful, darling

I still dream about you and feel

like I can still reach out

and feel you when I sleep,

But that's when I wake up and remember

it was nothing but a dream

That's when I wake up and remember

you are no longer here

Not only that,

but that you were never truly with me

And all of this feelings deep inside

Make me want to scream

Scream for you name

And scream for you to care

Instead of accepting that you were never there

They say time heals all wounds

Well, it ain't done much healing for me

Lil Notes in Spanish caus why not!:

• solo fui un juguete para ti

• saber que nunca te importé.

• merezco más que alguien que nunca supo ver lo que valgo.

• aún así sé que si algún volvieras y me dijeras que me amas caería a tus pies o no sé qué haría.

• duele saber que todo mi dolor no te importa.

• desearía que supieras cuánto me lastimarte y que te importara.

• estoy harta de llorar por ti y aún así no puedo parar

• No te das cuenta que al alejarme lo único que haces es lastimarme

Translation:

I was just a toy for you

knowing that you never cared for me.

I deserve more than someone who never knew my worth.

Even so, I know that if someone came back and told me that you love me I would fall at your feet or I don't know what I'd do.

It hurts to know that all my pain doesn't matter to you.

I wish you knew how much you hurt me and that you cared. I'm sick of crying over you and still I can't stop.

You don't see that by pushing me away all you do is hurt me.

Back to English!:

Everyday I longed for you

And everyday you ignored me and pushed me away

You told me I was simply not like her.

And damn I know I'm not her

but you didn't have to rub it in my face

And it didn't have to hurt this much

But, there were many things left unsaid

Baby you don't know how much I loved you.

You have no idea how much I cared

And to see you go is like a fatal blow

And to see have with someone else what we could have had

Another Mess:

He doesn't care about emotions,

he doesn't care about how you feel.

He's a no nonsense person,

he's intolerant to anything you say

"It's not my responsibility to watch out if you get hurt,

don't be so sensitive." he said.

He just doesn't care about you ok?

If you're of no use to me I'm ready to cut you off my life

He has no reason to love you, he has every reason to hate you

---------------------------------------------------

P.S. I want to clarify that a lot had changed since then and I kinda despise this guy now lol

Like the story is pretty long but in short:

I had a friend who was always there for me so I opened up about a lot of stuff and fell for him over time.

I confessed, he was like "yeah cool" and we went on a date.

After that he was like "I never liked you, actually I don't want to hear from you again, I never even considered you my friend I only listened to you bc it was funny how you're such a drama queen, I hope you kill yourself" (knowing I was a bit suicidal when he met me and incredibly depressed) and blocked me.

After that he always kept returning and apologizing and then blocking me again like a few weeks after that and the cycle repeated.

Meanwhile he always compared me to this one girl he liked and told me how I would never be as pretty or great as her etc

And since he knew I liked him, then I also found out he was only using me as a sort of booty call and only saw me as a sexual object (he would only talk to me at night when he couldn't get off, and then ignore me the next morning/other days) 🥲

So I still kinda hate him lol

It took me like two years to realize that he was just taking advantage of me and the only reason he kept coming back was bc I was like his booty call (?).

[liodendrama]

Bruh take your "deep" analysis and shove it big brain. Making good use of whatever college phycology classes you ended up having to take I see. Why don't I break it down instead.

When you insult someone they might get mad at you and insult you back 😲

Woah I know so complex and shocking. You can call people delusional or say their pussies are gross all you want it's your god damn right to do so. That doesn't mean people ain't gon say shit back or ignore it.

People like you simply can't handle the fact that freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences or that people will shut up and keep their moves shut when you say shit. You have to call things hiveminds or mob mentality to cope instead of just accepting that fact that sometimes people just don't agree or have different opinions.

Where is this acceptance of other's having different opinions and what not if you have to constantly tell yourself that those people are just sheep not thinking for themselves and that their opinions aren't their own?

Say what you want and believe what you want but don't piss your pants every time it doesn't go to plan or the results aren't good. That's part of life and anyone regardless of what "side" they're on has to go through it. Unless you surround yourself with people who only think like you and pat you on the back for everything you say but that sounds like the opposite you want lest you wanna be in a hivemind.

Sjws are annoying as fuck but so are anti-sjws who get so caught up in "fighting the woke," and "exposing those performative losers" they've really just become the things they despise in the end.

Hate when people have to whine everytime these stupid debates happen just cause "so and so group argued against m"e as if a saltblog of all places is gonna be a perfect little bubble where no one replies.

TL;DR

Wowo oh boy people argue when you offend them and it can be over any little thing too 😲😲😲

This isn't a safe space. No matter what you say somebody's got an issue. Especially on a salt blog. It's life. Deal or don't bother saying anything at all. Your choice you know.

.