#yesss she is so tired and done with his shit!! Queen!!!

[alygatorwrites]

can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.

pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with 😭😭 i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not

thank u so much aly 💖🥺

reciprocation

pairing: reiner braun x reader

a/n: OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO 😭 i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay ��💕 thank you honey!

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as reiner is handed historia’s letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.

you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.

and so you let the man speak about historia like she’s a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.

the truth is, you’re in love with reiner.

you can’t even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.

you’ve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.

when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieck’s gaze lands on you. “you’re rather quiet,” she says softly, resting her head on her palm.

you shrug, turning away from her. “i’m just tired.”

pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and you’ve known her long enough. 

that’s when you notice the twinkle in her eye. she’s planning something.

pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. “you’re wasting your time, reiner,” she says suddenly. “there’s already someone you know who cares for you.”

you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you don’t see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.

damn you, pieck.

the way you’re now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reiner’s stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.

still, you peer over to study reiner’s reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the man’s cluelessness.

then reiner’s expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.

conflicted? why?

there’s no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, you’re the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.

two days pass.

you’ve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when you’re finally given a day off, you take it with open arms. 

freedom at last.

you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. it’s dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.

you haven’t seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how he’s doing, what he’s thinking, how he’s holding up -

“hey.”

speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.

reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.

“hey,” you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.

and that’s when your heart lurches at the sight of him.

the sunset highlights reiner’s profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle – a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man. 

his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.

“work has been crazy lately, huh?” reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.

“well - yeah, pretty much. i don’t want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.”

“that bad?”

“you have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.”

reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but it’s strained. his forehead remains creased, and he’s not really smiling. the emotion there is more … doubtful. it’s like he’s having some sort of inner conflict.

hopefully reiner’s not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesn’t return your feelings, and that’s totally okay. you’re happy enough being with him like this. “i’m not mad or anything, y’know.”

reiner stiffens at that. there’s a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. “i know.”

“good,” you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. “so about historia … ”

reiner’s eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. there’s a light blush staining his cheeks now. it’s funny; he’s so goddamn big, yet he’s such a teddy bear.

“y-yeah,” reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.

is he scared or something? what the hell?

“pieck,” reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. “was she being serious?”

the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ‘no’ almost slips out, but you’ve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. “yep.”

“ … why me?”

reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. “what?”

“i’ve done so many horrible things.” reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps he’s imagining all the blood they’ve been stained with. “i betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.”

it’s no surprise that reiner is broken after everything he’s been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden. 

there’s probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. there’s nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.

so you decide to tell reiner why you love him. 

you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think he’s the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.

the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you don’t say everything you want to – but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.

the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; they’re lit up with astonishment and affection.

god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.

that’s when he reaches out to you.

reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost can’t feel it. it’s a test - he’s waiting to see if you pull away. you can’t even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him. 

when you don’t recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle’s final piece. 

heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, you’re almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.

this utterly amazing man likes you. always has. 

but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ‘better.’ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.

because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.

“is this okay?” reiner asks lowly. there’s a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.

by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. “yeah, of course. it’s fine.” it’s amazing is what you actually want to say.  

reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. “i really—”

you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone. 

there’s no time to speak because he’s already leaning down.  

the sensation of reiner’s lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.

it’s natural, it’s tender, it’s warm.

reiner’s breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, it’s so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.

as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.

you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. it’s such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.

as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. that’s all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.

“i like you,” reiner murmurs.

the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reiner’s lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.

[yo-im-a-bisexual]

I saw a few people say that they wanted fatou to be the one to go see Kieu my to confort her, so this is it. Enjoy :)

(english isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes)

Sunday, 18:05, Kieu my's apartment

She was a wreck. Kieu my had tried distracting herself as much as she could today but nothing seemed to work and when she saw Nora's stories she couldn't handle being alone anymore. She had texted Zoe about five (5) minutes ago and was now waiting in her room, on her bed, while watching Fatou's instagram stories over and over and over again. She was full on crying in her pyjamas and she knew it probably wasn't healthy to stalk her ex but she couln't help it. At least she looks happy, she thought.

----------------------------------------------

Sunday, 18:00, fatou's house

Laughs filled fatou's room. The cashqueens had moved to the skater's room after they had finished cleaning up the kitchen. They were talking about Ava's birthday that was coming up and how they were going to throw the biggest, most covid-friendly, party ever.

"honestly, I just want to spend time with you girls." Ava said, smiling and looking at her friends.

"well, maybe we could do something like friendsgiving, you know with friends only and a cozy little vibe" Nora offered, looking at the cashqueens with raised eyebrows.

The memories of that time came flooding in Fatou's mind. How she was so ready to confess her feelings to the girl, how she had ended up crying and yelling 'Love is a fucking asshole' with her friends. She had tried not thinking about Kieu my but to no avail. She seemed to be everywhere, in every topic, in every memory. Her heart ached at the thoughts. So she quickly tried to focus on the conversation happening instead of her ex, who seemed to be clearly over her.

"yeah it could be fun." Mailin said looking at Ava for approval. "What do you think Fatou?" She asked

"A birthday party with my best friends? On a friday night? Hell yeah I'm in." Fatou said laughing. "And maybe we could do a jamming session or a karaoke sort of thing" The cashqueens nodded at her idea and they went on with their conversation.

A phone rang, cutting them off. "Sorry girls, it's Zoe. I'll be right back" Nora said standing up and heading towards the door but the second she's out she walks back in, phone still in hand. She looks at Fatou. "She wants to talk yo you." Nora said, handing her the phone. Fatou looked at her amused but took the phone and walked out of the room.

"Zoe?" She said holding the phone to her ear.

"Fatou, hi. I'm sorry to bother you but I'm in a crisis and you're the only that can save me." Zoe said at the other end. Fatou hesitated for awhile.

"I'd be happy to help... With whatever you're in a crisis with" she answered still confused.

"it's more of a who..."

"what are you talking about, Zoe?"

"look, Im gonna be as honest as possible without being mean but.." she stopped talking for a second.

"just get to the point please."

"okay fine, you and Kieu my are idiots and I'm tired of you idiots not talking about your problems, like some silly idiots in love." Zoe got out in one (1) breath.

"I'm not an idiot" Fatou said. "And you were there, Kieu my clearly said I should stay away." Just saying her name hurt at this point.

"oh, Fatou.. She is hurting and in her mind it's easier to push you away than to actually talk to you again. She's scared of getting hurt more."

The silence was awkward but she didn't know what to say. So what does this mean? She thought.

"it means that right now she's a wreck and she asked me to come over but I'm done waiting for you two to figure it out because it is infuriating at this point." Zoe answered almost out of breath. Shit I said that out loud.

"I don't get it what do you want me to do? And why do you sound so exhausted?" She asked still not understanding anything that the blond was trying to say.

"because I'm coming over to your place to pick you up so that I can drag your ass to Kieu my's"

"what?! No Zoe I really don't think that's a good idea okay, last time I tried to talk to her I-" Fatou got cut off.

"Fatou listen to me. Kieu my vu is a mess and she's trying really hard to play it cool but she can't right now. She's been stalking you on insta for days, it's embarrassing. I know you guys had a huge fight at the party but that was stupid and I'm deciding to ignore it. You two need to talk and make up. She didn't cheat on you and you know it. She was hurt and so were you. The point is you're both in love with each other and everybody knows it except the two of you!" Zoe yelled out loud enough for Fatou to pull away from the phone. Her words were sinking in. Zoe was Kieu my's best friend, she had no reason to lie.

"okay." Fatou answered.

"okay?"

"I'm gonna go see her and tell her everything"

"great, you do that. I'll be there in five. Byee!" Zoe hung up. Fatou was breathless, her mind was in shambles at the thought that she could fix this. Zoe said Kieu my was in love with her... Wow. She knew she was in love with Kieu my but the idea that her feelings were reciprocated made her heart skip a beat.

She walked back to her room and opened the door, ready to tell her friends she was going to go get her girl but the moment she opened it the three girls stumbled back from it. Like they were listening in at the conversation, which they were. Fatou looked at her friends and locked eyes with Ava.

"we might have been listening a little bit." She heard Mailin say. The question was hanging in the air, Fatou was just waiting for the answer.

"go get her, chibi" Her best friend said, smiling fondly at her.

"really?" Fatou smiled brightly.

"YESSS!" The cashqueens said excitedly.

And so they waited for Zoe. She got to Fatou's pretty fast and they shared their goodbyes with the cashqueens. They got in Zoe's car and drove for about 10 minutes. The drive was pretty silent, only filled with small talk. Zoe was a really good friend, Fatou had noticed over time, How the girl had become more mature.

She was stressed to say the least. Rehearsing what she was going to say in her head over and over again. What if Kieu my pushed her away again? But the thoughts were pushed back. She was going to say everything she had to say and nothing was going to stop her even if she has to get her heart broken again.

The car stopped and Zoe cleared her throat. Fatou looked at the building and swallowed the lump in her throat. It seemed so much taller than last time.

"ready?" The blonde broke the silence.

"as i'll ever be" she answered.

They took the elevator. Zoe walked with her to the door and hugged her goodbye once they reached it. She said something along the lines of 'goodluck' but right now Fatou could only focus on the pounding of her heart.

She rang the doorbell and waited. She looked at the door intensely as if it would open faster. There were some noises coming from inside and then the door opened and there she was..

"Zoe thank god you're here, I can't..." Kieu my looked up from the ground and stopped dead in her tracks. She had been crying, Fatou could tell from her red eyes. Her hair was down and she was wearing confortable baggy clothes.

"Hi.." Fatou said smiling lightly, Looking at her and rocking on her heels.

"Fatou...hey" Kieu my's voice was small. She looked small and Fatou could see her eyes shining slightly. This was the real Kieu my, vulnerable and fragile Kieu my. But as soon as she appeared she was gone and her walls were back up. "What do you want?" Kieu my asked, her voice cracking a little a little bit.

"your soul~" Fatou answered, laughing quietly. Kieu my didn't look amused though. "To talk" she said more seriously.

"I- I thought I told you to stay away.. where's Zoe?" The ice queen's walls were cracking and her eyes looked everywhere but at Fatou.

"she drove me here" Fatou was still looking at Kieu my intensely hoping that she would catch her eyes.

"what do you want to talk about?"

"Us..." Fatou said and Kieu my opened her mouth as if to say something but Fatou continued. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for running away from my problems. I'm sorry for not talking to you but I want to, I really want to. I'm sorry for making you feel like you're just a distraction and like I don't care because I do care. So much.. about you, I mean. And I'm sorry for doubting you and I understand if I lost your trust but I'm ready to try everyday from now on to win it back. But most importantly I'm sorry for what I said. Because Kieu my, YOU are my world. And I miss you. And I get it if you don't want to be with me anymore but I just wanted you to know that I haven't given up on us and I won't, because I-" her heart skipped a few beats. Fatou took a deep breath in.

"I love you, Kieu my." She breathed out.

She was crying now and so was Kieu my. A few beats passed and Fatou was about to continue her heartfelt speech but Kieu my stopped her. She had been looking at Fatou like she had just been starstruck but now she was getting closer.

She placed a hand on Fatou's cheek and kissed her. Fatou let out a breath she knew she had been holding since the elevator door had opened. They both relax into the brief kiss andwhen they pull away they rest their forehead together. When Fatou opens her eyes, Kieu my is already looking at her. She wipes her tears aways with her thumb.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." Fatou said after a moment of silence.

"stop apologizing, please" Kieu my laughed lightly. They were both smiling now. "You love me?" Kieu my asked, looking insecurely at Fatou.

"I love you and I'm never gonna stop saying it"

They giggled, feeling lost in the moment. Kieu my kissed her again, this time more firmly. They finally walked in the apartment still attached by their lips. The kiss quickly turned into more and Kieu my pushed Fatou against the door to close it behind them. Kieu my's hands were around the smaller girl's neck while hers were on Kieu my's waist.

After several minutes of just kissing to make up for their days apart they finally pulled away to catch their breath.

Kieu my looked at Fatou lovingly. "I'm sorry too... I shouldn't have ran away. And I'm sorry for being so cold to you."

"okay, can we both stop apologizing now." The small girl laughed. "And Kieu my?"

"yeah?"

Fatou took a step back and took the tall girl's hands. "Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked with her puppy eyes on full display.

"of course Fatou" they laughed and kieu my reached for Fatou and hugged her.

They hugged for a while. Living in the moment. Together

----------------------------------------------

Sunday, 19:37

Somehow they ended up in Kieu my's bed, cuddling. Kieu my was laying on Fatou's chest and played with her girlfriend's fingers. Fatou was telling her about how Ava and her had made up and how she found out she had dyscalculia.

"...And now I have to go ask if I can change from physics to biology."

"that could work. And then you'd just have to work for math and you'll be good to have your abi with us. That's great." Kieu my said, excited.

"yeah, the girls thought that too."

The silence was peaceful. Fatou looked down and smiled at her girlfriend. Kieu my was looking at her like she was looking at her whole entire world.

"what are you thinking about?" Fatou asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"I love you too, Fatou jallow."

Fatou flipped her girlfriend on her back and kissed her then and there.

"i love you" she kissed her again. "I love you" she kissed her nose and her forehead and her cheeks and anywhere on her face she could, and between every kiss she told her she loved her.

"stop!" Kieu my giggled when Fatou tickled her sides still kissind her face. She slowed down and looked at Kieu my lovingly. "What?"

"happy Valentine's day"

"happy Valentine's day indeed" Kieu my shot up to kiss her again.

The kisses were slow and Fatou made her way down to Kieu my's neck. She sucked on her neck like she had done the first time they had spent time together in her bed, leaving a small red mark there, as if to say: you're mine and I'm yours.

The moment was short lived when Kieu my's phone rang multiple time in a row. They both looked at it and then at each other. Fatou's eyes were pleading to let it go but Kieu my rolled her eyes and smiled, reaching for her phone. She laughed and put her hand on her eyes.

"what's up? Who is it?" Fatou asked still on top of her girlfriend.

"It's Zoe" She answered turning her phone towards Fatou. It was a row of texts with a lot of emojis. It read:

"So are you guys back together yet?"

"I was waiting in my car but I left after 30 min"

"You guys are my favorite couple💗💗"

"I hope you're not mad tho😘"

"I did my duty as your bff"

"love u Q!!💛💜💛💜"

"don't do anything I wouldn't do🤭😉"

"happy Valentine's day babe😗✌️"

Fatou laughed at the blonde's childish texts.

"what did she tell you exactly?" Kieu my asked still hiding her face with her arm.

"nothing really.." fatou answered "Is it true that you were stalking me though?" She smiled when the tall girl hid under the covers.

"oh my god, this is so embarrassing! It's just because I missed you, okay?"

"you're so cute when you're flustered"

Fatou grabbed the covers and pulled them down untill she could see Kieu my's face.

"I missed you too" Fatou admitted

"Is it true you had a crush on me?"

"is it true YOU had a crush on me?" Fatou shot back, pulling the covers down and tickling Kieu my's sides.

And just like that they spent the rest of the evening together. Cuddling, kissing but most importantly, actually talking.

That's how you do it. I meant to post it yesterday but then Nhungi (Kieu my's actress) went live on Tiktok and then I fell asleep and today my mom decided to have some quality family time and forced me to go on a three (3) hour walk. But here it is anyway. Hope you enjoy. sorry if there are any mistakes. constructive criticism is always appreciated

(I actually don't know if Zoe has a car but in my head she does and sorry if I forgot other things)

[harryfeatgaga]

Why do so many stans or other people hate harry? Like, genuinely? Because the shit I see on twitter is so gross

they are just jealous its what it comes down to

Anonymous said: Is that Olly from years and years? I'm probably wrong.

I think? idk

Anonymous said: I know we just got a ton of stuff and while I am very appreciative of it I somehow already miss him and honestly I genuinely CAN NOT wait until tour so that we have a regular stream of content and his silly self

MOOD

Anonymous said: very excited to see the next video with all the scotland footage, but wouldnt it be lolz if that was just harry being really extra going on a sailing holiday and bringing his whole team to dress and film him and he was literally just having a weekend away

PLEALKSMDNFJK

Anonymous said: Hi Paige, I agree qith earlier anons were saying how this video seems like an intro and unfinished on its own (the video is amazing, don't take those words as negative!!), so I think the second video will be for the B side listed on the vinyl and it'll come out quite soon, like before anyones vinyl arrives for them to listen to, like SOON soon

YESSSSSS

Anonymous said: The way we know Harry was at least a little tipsy while filming the orgy scene? Chefs kiss

ICONIC

Anonymous said: I’d love to read Harry’s poetry because I’m sure he has some, he should, one day, out out a book of his writing and his photography

YES ME TOO

Anonymous said: It’s so lodged in my brain already I can’t stop hearing this song I love it and rob said the album was very varied I bet he experimented with lots of different types of music I’m sweating also scotland she’s coming

IM SO FUCKIGN EXCITED

Anonymous said: He’s making me so soft I can’t do this and I just remembered he filmed another video in Scotland and we don’t even know what that’s for I’m so scared again! The wild ride of loving Harry Styles

TRULY

Anonymous said: I’ve got an email from live nation and there’s a message from harry that says hi, I’ve missed you. Love you, H. And here I was having a heart attack thinking he’s announcing tour 😭

YESSS AND I JUST GOT 2 FROM HIS SITE SAYING THE SAME PLS

Anonymous said: THE LIVE NATION NOTE PAIGE!!!???? it’s all coming too fast I have money saved but a bitch needs more TIME CAN HE SLOW DOWN

I KNOWWWWWWW

Anonymous said: i was so tired when i watched the video i honestly felt like i was on an acid trip

tru

Anonymous said: This is literally hour 4 of me listening to the song non stop 💃🏽

me

Anonymous said: What about Johnathan Ross as well. I’m still coming to terms with it being a reality and not a dream. It doesn’t feel real.

please

Anonymous said: I‘m shook people I‘m shook🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺

STILL A MOOD

Anonymous said: bruh my coworker makes playlists all the time she's my music queen and omg i had her listen to harry and i think i converted her BUT ANYWAY go but listen to Lights Up & then let that fade into Pyramids by frank ocean. i cant stop looping it omg

LOVES IT

Anonymous said: ANYWAY I LOVE MY MAN

MOOD!

Anonymous said: Can confirm, Harry visually recreated a wonderful trip and the warm closeness feelings that accompany it. He really did THAT

KING!

Anonymous said: PAIGE MY SISTER FUCKING SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE ROLLING STONES MAG WITH HARRY AND DIDN'T BUY IT FOR ME

BYE WTF

Anonymous said: I'm so glad i woke up at 5am. I mean it's not what i expected but then again i don't know what to expect when it comes to Harry. But it's so good. I've literally done nothing but watch the video.

LITERALLY GONNA WATCH IT ON REPEAT TILL I GO OUT TONIGHT 

[staytiny-angel]

Caught Red-Handed

Pairing: Finn Balor/Demon King Balor/Angeline (OC)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Dom/Sub interactions, DaddyKink, Oral, Orgasm Denial, Threesome? (Does it count as a threesome if two of the participants share a body? I feel like this should come up more often when it comes to Finn) SO. MUCH. FLITH

Author's Note: So I got hooked on ASMR. Specifically smutty ASMR. My favorite (performer?) is a guy with an Irish accent that always brings a certain wrestler to mind and so this was born.

Taglist: @tacoshu @ladytea19 @nerdlife0612 @wwevampireamongkpop @winged-time-criminal @blondekel77 @kayah16 @finnsauroraborealis @savemeroman @gold--gucciempress @littledeadrottinghood @evilangel84 @buttons-beads-lace @deepdisireslonging @mohawkmama

Angel's POV

"Acushla?" Finn's voice permeates the hazy fog of sleep I'm lost in.

"Mm?" I try to answer him but Seth had a party in his hotel suite last night so I'm tired and my head is absolutely fucking killing me.

"I have that radio show interview and a signing, then i'll be back Mo Chroi" I hear him say

"Mm" I try to make a affirmative sound

My side of the bed dips and the covers are pulled from off my head letting in the bright morning sunlight, I blink a few times and try to focus on the beautiful man leaning over me.

"Hungover darling?"

"I am never letting Dean make my drinks ever again" I reply

Finn laughed lowly "A lesson we've all learned, love"

"Is THAT why no one else drank Dean's punch?! It doesn't even taste like it has that much booze in it!"

"I don't know what Ambrose puts in that magic potion of his but its all alcoholic" Finn tells her

"Oh" I murmur already planning out how I'm going to kick Seth's ass. I'd drank Dean's concoction on his suggestion but apparently I'd been pranked.

"You need to eat something, take a shower and rest. You don't have any press today?"

I ran through my schedule in my head. "Nope. I did the last round so its Becks turn."

"Good. Eat, shower and rest." he says kissing me on the forehead "If you take care of yourself like a good girl you'll get a treat when I get back. Normal rules are still in effect. No touching that sweet little cunt while Daddy is away."

Finn's POV

The interview went off without a hitch, and I'd done my job of talking up this weekend's PPV. The signing however? That was a fucking mess. There had been a mix up with the venue's security and we'd had to cancel. So here I was back at the hotel irritated at disappointing the fans who'd come out to see me, but happy to be headed back to Angel hours earlier then I'd planned.

I get to our hotel room and open the door only to be completely shocked at the sight before me. Angel, naked except for one of my button down shirts laying on the bed in front of her laptop with a toy buried deep inside of her.

"What is this?" I say louder then I'd intended

"Daddy?!" She says sitting up abruptly "Your early!"

"The signing was a dead loss, I was going to surprise you but I'm the one who got the surprise…Is that…one of my matches? And Toys? What happened to being a good girl for Daddy?"

I hear her mutter something "What was that? Speak up." I demanded

"I got turned on watching you" she says louder, blushing from what I assumed was a mixture of arousal and embarrassment

"You are a VERY naughty girl and you are in SO much trouble" I say walking towards the bed pulling off my suit jacket and loosening my tie.

Angel's POV

Well shit. I think to myself as I watch Finn walk toward me. I’m fucked aren’t I? And from the red and black stains crawling their way across his skin as he unbuttons his shirt…not only was I in trouble, I was in trouble with both my Daddy and my King.

“Oh my Angeal was a naughty, naughty lass wasn’t she?” That dark, velvety voice that was Finn’s and not Finn’s asked me.

“Yes, My King” I answer hesitantly

Balor clicks his tongue like a scolding parent “My dear Angeline. Whatever will my host and I do with such a naughty little girl?”

Balor's POV

The host and I didn't agree on much, I personally didn't understand why he didn't just let me out to destroy all these peons who dared to disrespect us, but since we'd come to America the host insisted on doing things 'fair and square' and would only ever let me out under extreme duress. I longed for the days when my host had thought of himself as royalty and we worked together to obliterate anyone who dared to oppose us.

The only thing good about our current surroundings was the one thing on which we did agree. Our Mate. Our beautiful Angeline, with her milk chocolate skin on, curly black hair and pretty brown eyes was a warrior in her own right and the only woman we'd deemed worthy to be our Queen since we'd shared this form.

Speaking of our Queen, she'd been a very bad girl and that just wouldn't do at all.

"How are we to punish you?" I ask her, enjoying the mix of emotions drifting across her face

Finn's POV

I strip down, walk over to the bed and take Angel's laptop, glancing at the screen and seeing it paused on myself, wearing Balor's warpaint before I place it on the desk out of the way.

"Look at you, all flushed and trembling, did I interrupt you before you could come?" I ask her

"Yes Daddy" she tells me.

"Well at least there's that. Maybe I should just make you go take a cold shower to cool off. After all you disobeyed me."

"Hmm, or maybe…you wanted to try edging didn't you my Angel?"

Angel's POV

Holy fucking shit. Edging was something we'd talked about trying but now? As a punishment? With both of them?

Yes, Daddy" the words slip out of my mouth before I can even wrap my head around the gravity of my situation

I watch as my Daddy., I could tell from his movements that this was Finn, but from the ever shifting red and black coating his skin I could tell My King wasn't far from the surface.

Finn climbs on the bed with me and gently walks his fingers up my legs toward my pussy.

You know you aren't allowed to dip into Daddy's pleasure when he's not around" he says, skimming a finger along my damp slit

"Look at this, all this wet, slick heat and it's not even for me is it?"

Well, I guess technically it was since I'd been getting off on one of their matches but I doubted that would be a sufficient answer for them.

"Shhhh don't speak right now." He says before I can answer him

He picks up the vibrator I had just been using and rubbed it along the same path his fingers had just took stopping at the top of my slit to press it against my clit before flicking it on causing me to let out a loud moan.

"You were soooo close when I interruptted your fun. Sooo close to coming all over this toy. But now you're not going to…so don't you dare come Angel. Not until Daddy says so."

"My Angeal just isn't living up to her name today, is she?" My King asks me

"No My King" I answer as I start to writhe on the bed, I had been so fucking close when Finn had surprised me and now my whole body was tingling with the need for orgasm

"We have the rest of the day, I could just tease and tease and tease you for hours." my Daddy says

Shit, I both loved and hated when they decided to keep switching on me. Finn and Balor were both dangerous in their own right…but when they worked together? They were lethal to my senses.

He, and at this point I wasn't exactly clear on who was in control, moved the vibe away from my pussy and buried his face between my legs.

"You taste so fucking good. So fucking sweet. Now this. This is for me, it's for us. Isn't it my Queen?"

Well fuck, I should have known. I thought as pleasure overwhelmed me. It was Balor. Balor loved eating pussy for some reason, even more than Finn.

"Don't even think about coming" he growled against my clit before sucking it into his mouth.

"Fuck!" I cried out "My King, my King. I can't." I babbled, he had to be kidding right? He was doing the exact thing that NEVER failed to make me go off like fireworks and I WASN'T allowed to come?

With one last nibbling suck, he sat up to look at me. It was definitely my King in full control now, Finn's gorgeous blue eyes were rimmed in red and black and Balor's markings were fully realized on his skin in a way no artist could duplicate.

"Do you need something to distract you?" he asks me.

When I nodded he flipped our positions so that I was draped over him with his beautiful, thick cock at my mouth and, my pussy over his face.

"Suck my cock, Angeal" he demanded before thrusting his abnormally long tongue into my pussy.

I licked at the precome beading the head of his cock, as always marvelling at the changes Balor wrought in Finn's body. He even tasted different then Finn did.

"I'm doing the teasing here not you, My Queen" Balor's voice brought me back from where I'd drifted off.

"AHHH, yesss," I hear him hiss "Now you're being a good little girl, that's it my Queen, suck my cock deep, while I eat this delicious cunt."

His words of praise send even more jolts of pleasure through my body, as he continues to wreck me.

"My perfect Queen, my perfect mate. Someone worthy of my status." I hear him growl against me.

His words cause another moan to vibrate around his cock. It was amazing to me that this was my life. That both these perfect beings, The Demon and the man agreed that I was absolutely perfect for both of them.

"When I come, my Queen you are going to swallow my seed, then and only then can you come."

With that command ringing in my ears I got serious about sucking his cock swirling my tongue around the head before sucking him to the back of my throat.

"That's it my good girl suck me down. Make your King come for you so you can come for him."

I redouble my efforts at those words, sucking him right down to the base causing him to let out a gasping moan before his hot cum filled my mouth and I swallowed every last drop.

At that moment two long fingers filled my soaking wet pussy hooking to hit my G-spot dead on "Such a good little Queen making me come for you. Now you are going to cum for me"

With those words, I exploded in pleasure with a scream hoping that none of our Co workers were in the ajoining rooms

Still breathing heavy I let Balor move me like a boneless doll until I was cuddled in his arms, tracing the patterns on his skin as they faded leaving only Finn's perfectly tanned skin behind.

"Rest, Mo Chroi" I could hear him say as I drifted off "When you wake. It's my turn."

[mindwideopen]

I’m looking for a job in satirical journalism, and I live in Chicago. Hot dog! Looky loo! (Not Lucy liu) Here’s a newspaper that is straight up my comic sensibility alley! The much loved and revered, “the onion”! This is great! I’ll just cobble together some writing samples and oop.... uh oh.... read this:

Oh no.... and this:

Well, I guess that answers that. Exclusion. Hey onion, I have a fantastic....

NO!

But...

NO! We will throw your shit AWAY!

To be fair to “the onion” there’s most likely a ton of nut balls like me, who come up with what they deem to be “comedy gold” all the time, and it probably gets old. Lots of dad jokes. Lots of silly aunt petunia pickle bottoms out there that had their brush with fame in the local community theaters back in aught aught, and now they are the resident experts in the funny. But there are people out there, that may have a decent idea or two, that deserve a chance, and don’t know how to get their foot in the door with this writing thing. And it kinda puts a wet piece of lettuce on your passion part below the belt; all this instant rejection prior to the “try to apply”. And yes, they have job openings every once in a while, so try back then.

No. An answer that an actor hears, or doesn’t hear until they see the show or commercial on the air WITHOUT them in it. I was an actor/singer/jack of most trades for a good 15 years here in Chicago, and to me, a “No” never got easier. It got more and more frustrating as time went on. And as much as I hate to admit it, my “no”, came first.

When I read this initially, I was pissed. “Oh, no?! Oh! Ok! Well guess what, onion, you stink! Yeah! Onions smell like someone’s B.O. and all the rest, and you know what? I don’t even eat onions, cause my husband hates them, and I’ve avoided them for so long that now when I try to eat them, I get agita, so no to you first, onion! Ok? Yeah! You don’t say no to me, cause I, yes, i, the small egoic i, say no, to YOU, so go stick that in your armpit and blow it out your onion hole!”

George Carlin: oh man.... Kari?

Kari: oh shit....

Carlin: Kari, you are single handedly alienating yourself from every creative group in this country...

Kari: actually it’s the world, i went after the good folks of Monty python, and I’m gonna do a piece on, “the thunder from down under” an all Australian male strip show that I can’t be a part of either, cause I don’t have a peep.

Carlin: ok, Kari, seriously, what is with you?

Kari: I’m feeling lonely and left out of the comedy world. It’s been at least 12 years since I quit acting, and I’ve been mad ever since. And I was told by someone in the biz that the best I can hope for is to be a secretary or bit part on one of the Chicago shows; Chicago Hope, Chicago fire, Chicago this, Chicago that, Chicago, the movie...

Richard Pryor:... already made, you missed that shit.

Kari: see?! I miss out on everything!

Carlin: Kari, do you want to do any of that?

Kari: well, I’d like to think I could, but probably not.

Carlin: well ok! Then leave that to the people who want to do it. What do you want to do?

Kari: i..... dooooont....knooooowwww!!! Waaaaaaaaa.... (cries like Lucy from I love Lucy. Again, NOT Lucy liu, unless she’s cries like that)

Carlin: ok, then how about figuring that out before you burn every bridge you don’t even cross yet.

Richard: she’s burned all the bridges, and the buildings, and allll the shit. Kari is maaadddd. She’s more “Carrie” than the movie “Carrie” by Stephen King...

Kari: He’s also like gayle king, a man who needs to clarify his last name! I can’t get past the cover of any of his novels! Stephen King who? Which king? One of the kings in a deck of cards? Elvis? King Louie from jungle book?! Who?!

Richard: ok, Kari this is our point. You are not ok with success.

Kari: I’m not?

Carlin: no! You yell about the stupidest shit, really! How do you expect to get a job at “the onion” when you have already written them off as “exclusive”? You haven’t even looked to see if they’re asking for submissions.

Kari: again, I’m not sure.. any suggestions?

Richard: well, you write your own shit, but you are not known, so going after people, seems mean.

Kari: um, you both did it.

Carlin: yes, but we came up during a different time, Kari. And we had friends and collaboraters.

Richard: I talked about stealing my shit on the tonight show. I stole Bill Cosby’s shit before I did my own shit. So just steal someone’s shit!

Kari: I can’t steal someone’s shit! I’d be horrible doing someone else’s shit!

Carlin: Kari, you were an actor, you were paid to do other people’s shit...

Kari: yes, but I don’t want to steal their shit!

Jerry stiller: Kari, to date you owe the king of queens $8 million dollars in back quotes. You love us.

Kari: yes, I do. You currently in production?

Jerry: no.

Kari: ok then! I didn’t even have an LA agent... so I wasn’t even able to be considered. oh man... I’m totally depressed...

Carlin: ok, Kari, maybe we shouldn’t discuss this subject for awhile, ok? Lay off the concept of collaboration for a bit. What do you like?

Kari: I like the concept of working with like minded people.

Richard: well, you have us...

Kari: yes, but I mean here in the 3d world. Someone who’s not me.

Richard: good point.

Carlin: ok, well you want like minded or people who like your comedic sensibility and can build from that with you.

Kari: yes. And I want to laugh. A lot.

Carlin: yes, laughing is good, we haven’t done much of that as of late.

Kari: yes. And I want to have the freedom to write whatever I want, as crazy and as silly as I want to be, and I want people to act it out. And I want the people to be sweet, and cooperative, and kind, and supportive, and good natured, and all the good stuff that makes for a good collaboration.

Carlin: great! How about money?

Kari: yes. I’d like that too. A shit ton of it. & I want to feel like I belong. I’m tired of feeling like someone on the outside peeping in at the nude people on the inside...

Richard: oh shit...

Carlin: ok, Kari. Do us a favor, and focus on what you do want, and not on what you find wrong with everyone. The world doesn’t hate you. Some people may, and if you keep this shit up, you will get everyone to hate you. That’s what your negative beliefs do. They fuck your shit up. They have you acting a fool. And then you wonder why people are afraid of you, cause you end up making your nightmares come true.

Freddy Krueger: yesss! You’re mine now, bitchy woman....

Kari: ok, you know whuuuut? I will take your jello 1,2,3 face and body and separate you into different jello cups, and chill you for 2 hours, and then I will as ready whip, and I will have the dog in “nightmare on elm street 4” eat your jello ass as a parfait, ok?! Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, you wormy piece of liver and onions, ok? Good...

Freddy: oh shit... even I’m afraid of her...

Carlin: Kari, be cool, ok? Watch the stooges (not iggy pop’s band, but the 3 nut balls) and relax. Things will start looking up, give it time.

Kari: fine, but I’m not into this exclusivity, shit.

Groucho marx: she does want to be a part of a club who will have her as a member. I don’t share in that opinion, but she does. Maybe that’s why no one will have her. Her jello 1,2,3 is made of Freddy Krueger’s ass.

Richard: Scene. 🤣

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

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“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

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“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

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>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

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apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

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welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.