#yes yes yes I know meng yao isn't ACTUALLY trying to kill nmj here in any iteration of the canon

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from nightless city - incorrect but plausibly canon quotes edition

[xiyao-feels]

Thinking again about this moment, outside after the Sun Palace (Exiled Rebels, ch 49):

Meng Yao whispered, “Sect Leader Nie, back in Sun Palace, although it was to gain the trust of Wen RuoHan, I did indeed harm you and say inappropriate things. I purposely jabbed at your scar, knowing that the previous Sect Leader Nie hurts you deeply… Although I had no other choice, I’m still truly sorry.”

Nie MingJue, “The one you should be kneeling to isn’t me, but the cultivators that you killed with your own hands.”

Meng Yao, “Wen RuoHan had a cruel character. Whenever there was any disobeyment, he’d act as though he was mad. Since I was pretending to be someone he could trust, how could I sit back when others humiliated him? So…”

Like, I don't think it's true that he's more honest with NMJ than he is with LXC—the things he shouts at NMJ, the things he tries to convince NMJ of, the difference isn't that LXC doesn't know, it's that LXC agrees with him and understands his circumstances.

But that doesn't mean he isn't being honest with NMJ, here, elsewhere. I don't just mean "not lying" or "accurately conveying the circumstances," there's a level of honest engagement: this isn't just him trying to avoid trouble (which isn't to say it's not that at all), this is him apologizing for what he regrets and not apologizing for what he doesn't have, because he thinks it was actually perfectly reasonable and he's prepared to argue that. And the contrast between the two helps show us that the first part is sincere!

It's funny, because, you know, obviously he's usually trying to soothe NMJ, but you really can see the difference in his behaviour after the stairs. Even during the stairs—JGY is furious and frustrated and pushed to the breaking point before he starts to "talk back", but when he does, he's not randomly insulting him, he's making genuine arguments!

—until NMJ makes it thoroughly clear he's not listening, perhaps is incapable of listening, and JGY gives up.

Nie MingJue, “Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?”

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, “Yes.”

And after the kick and the insult,

Dusting off his robes, he slowly raised his head to look at Nie MingJue. His eyes were quite calm, almost indifferent.

(Exiled Rebels, ch 49)

And you can see the difference, the next time he and NMJ interact, when he comes to play for him, when he really is just saying whatever NMJ wants to hear. Part of the difference is that he's gambling on NMJ's death, of course, so he can make whatever promises he needs to as long as they'll come due after. But part of it is that he has lost all respect for NMJ, and NMJ's good opinion has completely ceased to matter.