#yes yes giant-sized man-thing we've all heard it

[fantasyfantasygames]

Sewer Monsters in Love

Sewer Monsters in Love, 21185Lalande, 2021

The "three kobolds in a trenchcoat" joke is pretty familiar these days, but fewer people remember Benjamin Grimm using the same flimsy disguise. This is a shame, because it's a much better fit for the premise of Sewer Monsters in Love (SMiL).

You, as the title says, are a sewer monster. You are in love with someone who lives Above, and you dream of even just being able to tell them. In order to live your dream, you are wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora (no, not a trilby, a fedora) and leaving your peaceful home to learn how to live amongst the humans.

And when they say "sewer monster", they mean something less Creature from the Black Lagoon and more Dianoga or Shambling Mound.

The game's weak point is character creation. There are five defaults (Man-Thing, Dianoga, Worm that Walks, King Rat, semi-anthropomorphic albino alligator) and you're told "make it up from there." The system is simple in the "gets out of your way" manner that I generally don't care for, but which is at least not broken. 2d10 + two stats + one skill + dice for bonuses, everything's an opposed roll, there's one "toughness" pool that is both your hit points and your emotional fortitude. When your toughness goes to zero, you slink back into the sewers for the night.

The art is not just the strong point, it's the centerpiece. The game is done in the style of a graphic novel, with the rules as text pages sandwiched between a comic of the monsters doing their thing, which is interspersed with a comic of people playing the game. It's done well. I've read enough awful examples of play to be genuinely surprised at how well SMiL is written. The art is in two different styles, but by a single artist. Their work is reminiscent of Joe Kubert for the monsters, and Fiona Staples for the framing story.

This game helped remind me that itch.io is not just a madhouse of ten million one-pagers, it also has some amazing work by some very dedicated people. 21185Lalande, in addition to being a red dwarf 8.3 light years away from us, is just the writer/publisher. The rest of the team is the artist, 411Gliese (same star), and main playtest GM HD95735 (again, same star). Lord I wish I had a playtest GM for my own game design.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"Because I needed to drive into the ocean."

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Sure." He quickly comes to terms with this. "But you said the water lock is fixed now, so we can go back..."

GARY, THE CRYPTOFASCIST - "DID HE SAY WE CAN GO BACK NOW?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "YES, GARY! WE CAN GO BACK SOON!" He turns to you. "If you see Lena, tell her I won't be long."

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - This is a man possessed, always on the brink of some breakthrough. He won't leave if there's a sliver of hope *the Great Find* might happen today.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Sir, your wife is waiting for you."

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "I just have to do one more round, see if the phasmid has taken the bait... Then we're going." He refastens a bit of netting that has come loose in the wind.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - For all his passion, this man is diligent and patient. You could learn things from him.

"Tell me about this *phasmid* you're looking for."

"Tell me more about these traps."

"Lena seems pretty eager for you to return."

"How did you become a *cryptozoologist*?"

"I'll get going." [Leave.]

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Hmm! Well, first of all it's damn difficult to find -- which is why we've been knee-deep in the reeds laying traps for it."

"What makes it so difficult to find?"

"How big is this phasmid?"

"Why are you so interested in this stick bug? It doesn't seem to be as colourful as some of the other cryptids I've heard about."

"What have you discovered about it so far?" (Continue.)

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Good question. Being a phasmid, of the order *phantasmodea* -- a ghost insect -- it disguises itself as plant-matter. In this case the reeds..." He looks around. "Awful lot of reeds around, aren't there?"

"*And*, I suspect it may also have developed other *specialized techniques* to protect itself from predators... or scientists, in our present case."

2. "What sorts of *specialized techniques* is the phasmid using to hide itself?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "It's my hypothesis that it has evolved certain electro-chemical defences that allow it to interfere with animal perception -- impeding pattern recognition, confusing the visual cortex."

"But I cannot describe how these defences work -- much less how they evolved -- without studying a live specimen."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - Yes, it makes perfect sense. You're beginning to suspect there's something *para-natural* about this phasmid.

3. "How big is this phasmid?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "I'm expecting it to be quite giant. One known species of phasmid, called the *megaphasmodea zhouensis*, is about the size of a grown man's forearm. So..." He leaves the conclusion up to you.

4. "Why are you so interested in this stick bug? It doesn't seem to be as colourful as some of the other cryptids I've heard about."

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Typical rookie assumption." He flashes you a sideways smile. "Insects are much more sophisticated creatures than those unversed in zoology give them credit for."

"Even simply catching a glimpse of the Insulindian phasmid would be the apex of my -- of *any* -- cryptozoologist's career. But to study it and its defences, find out how it's stayed hidden so long..." He shakes his head.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - ...would be *glory* itself.

5. "What have you discovered about it so far?" (Continue.)

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Very little, I'm sorry to say. No one's ever captured a specimen, so all our information is based on first- and third-hand accounts."

"So no one's ever found one?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Not *yet*" He holds up an index finger. "That's what makes it a *cryptid*.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Khm..." The lieutenant interjects. "Just out of curiosity -- if there's no proof of its existence, how do you know it's real?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "I *know* it's real," the cryptozoologist says, brusquely enough that even he seems taken aback by it...

"By which I mean," he says, gathering himself, "I've heard enough first-hand accounts to believe quite firmly that the Insulindian phasmid is more than mere superstition."

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - What would it be like to grasp and hold onto something you think is next to you -- or just behind you -- like a trace of vapour you exhaled one spring morning as a child? This is what he's searching for. A spectre.

"Lena said there has been a sighting of it, here in Martinaise."

"Maybe the Insulindian phasmid has... died out?" (Proceed.)

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Yes, the most *recent* sighting was by a couple of teenagers along the coast here. That's what brought us to Martinaise specifically."

"It's the first credible sighting in several decades. Admittedly, it's an unusual location for this species, but with all the sewage run-off upstream, it probably doesn't matter much anymore."

2. "Maybe the Insulindian phasmid has... died out?" (Proceed.)

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "I have to resist the thought." He shakes his head vigorously. "Such an extraordinary creature is doubtlessly *highly resilient*. After all, it's generally thought to be capable of parthenogenesis."

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Failure] - Uhm...

"Par...the...no...genesis?"

"Got it. Parthonosis."

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Parthe-no-genesis. Meaning the females don't need males to reproduce. Makes it easier for a species to survive in adverse conditions."