#yes i am stacking memes rn

[1ooo-w0rds]

we met on ocean avenue pt 4

A/N: October fic! This chapter was giving me so much trouble especially the ending. @piper-mc-meme this AU is driving me crazy.

Piper @PiperMcMeme posted a tweet: I'm walking towards him rn. My heart is pounding! OMG!

Sam32_blondesuperman: OMG? What's going on? Tell me the tea?

Alicia37: Someone on Tumblr dared @PiperMcMeme to ask Jason Grace aka @BlondeSuperman out.

Sam32_blondesuperman: Holy shit! Get it girl!

Hazel @HazelArts posted a video: @PiperMcMeme Do it for the vine! #McMemeDare #BlondSuperMan #HESAIDYES?! #IKnowVineIsDead #lameJokes

Jones_Star: Holy Crap?!

leafy: What the heck?

eightMarky: Has to be a publicity stunt, right? #HuntingtonHospital

jack_of_some_trades: Isn't he dating QueenRey? She's all over his instagram

PiFi: AWWW! They're so cute together. I ship it. #Jasiper #ShipName#IShipIt

QueenBee: Nah. BlondSuperMan and QueenRey are much better together. They're so hot!

Reyna squinted at her bright screen of her phone, not quite awake yet as she scroll through her Twitter feed. Her notifications were pinging wildly since yesterday afternoon. She immediately muted them to focus on her video edits for her next volleyball video. Reyna wasn't sure when she fell asleep last night. Her laptop sat dead on her floor, thankfully all her work backed up to the cloud.

Reyna pushed her loose hair out of her face as she sat up, crossing her legs underneath her. The said video wasn't clear but she could make out Jason's tall form beside the railing as a nervous petite girl approached him. Her hands fiddled in front of her. The audio was rough with children screaming and loud splashes from the pool.

"Hey, you look new here." Reyna could hear her say. Jason smiled kindly as he inched over, giving her space beside him.

"That obvious?" Jason laughed, lifting his sunglasses. They traded introductions and chatted for a bit. Piper pointed out people with colorful commentary, getting a few chuckles from Jason. He leaned his arms against the railing, waving to someone. Reyna's eyes narrowed as Piper took a deep breath.

"Will you go out with me?" She half-shouted with her eyes closed. Jason nodded his head but before he could say anything, a young man appeared by his side, pulling Jason away.

"Fucking internet." Reyna murmured as she scrolled through the comments and retweets. She was tagged in a good number of reactions. Probably because Jason's latest tweet was of them at Santa Monica beach with Thor. Her phone vibrated signaling a FaceTime call. She arched her eyebrow at the caller id before tapping the green button. "You're an idiot." Reyna greeted plainly as Jason's exhausted face blinked onto the black screen. He groaned, burying his face into his pillow.

"I thought I would get sympathy from you." Jason replied as he lifted his head, pouting at her. His bed hair was a perfect balance between sexy and cute. A dark stubble curved around his masculine chin. Jason shifted to his elbows, unintentionally giving Reyna an eyeful. Her eyes widen before she quickly turned to look at her wall, blush creeping onto her face. Fact: Jason Grace sleeps shirtless. Even from a brief view and tiny screen, she could make out the defined lines of his pecs and abs.

"Sorry," Reyna said, trying to hide her breathlessness. "Here, call again and I'll be nice." She stood up, grabbing a loose cardigan from her chair as she left her room. Hylla sat at the kitchen island, stirring her coffee as she held out her required reading. She nodded to her sister as Reyna plucked a stem of grapes from the fruit bowl. "I promise." Hylla narrowed her gaze at her sister's odd comment.

"No you won't." Jason's voice bounced off the high ceilings of the kitchen. Hylla blinked, definitely not recognizing the voice. 'Who's that?' she mouthed as Reyna head towards the balcony. "You'll still sass me. You're worse than Percy."

"Am not." Reyna countered as she pressed the phone against her chest. 'No one.' she mouthed back before stepping out on the balcony. Reyna settled on their lounging beach chair before pulling Jason back out. "Now, what's your side of the story?"

Jason dragged his hand over his face before flipping over to lay on his bed. For a moment, the world spun showing Reyna a quick glimpse of Jason's hotel room before it filled with his handsome face. "I don't know. One moment we were just talking as she pointed out various people of the cast. Someone called my name and I turned. Piper asked a question and I nodded yes to show I was still listening. Before I could process what exactly she asked, someone pulled me away. She blindsided me."

"And got it all on video." Jason stared at Reyna like she grew another head. "It's a perfect social media storm. The daughter of Huntington Hospital main star asked out current teenage heartthrob and got it all on video." Reyna refrained from mentioning how her timeline was flooded with retweets of the video and people at-ing her with outrageous comments to get any reaction. She wasn't going to feed their curiosity. "Don't look at Twitter. It's a bloodbath."

"Of course it is." Jason groaned. "Excuse me for a second." He placed the phone down, giving Reyna a view of the ceiling. A muffled scream echoed through the speaker followed by excited barking from Thor. The camera shook as the dog jumped onto the bed. Reyna laughed as she could see Thor's long tail wag back and forth. "Thor, not now!" Jason laughed as he wrapped his arm around the dog and reappeared into view. "Having a crisis."

"Dogs don't care." Reyna replied as she leaned back. "Have you ate yet, Jason?" He hugged Thor to his side as he thought. Thor eagerly licked the side of Jason's face who smiled in response. Her heart warmed at the sight. Thor can easily shift his owner's mood. "Are you free today?"

"Kind of." Jason answered as he rested his head against Thor's body. "Just for the morning. I have a table reading after lunch, a meeting with my stylist, a few headshots and then I need to sign the lease for my apartment." Jason ran his hand over Thor's furry bottom. "I also need someone to watch his monster. I haven't found a doggie daycare yet. Reyna?"

"Aurum and Argentum are already suspicious of me from last time." Reyna commented as she looked towards the kitchen. Her two graceful greyhounds slept on their large doggie bed. Like Aurum could sense her, the beautiful dog lift his head and wagged his long tail. Jason held Thor up to the camera as he panted adorably. "Fine, I'll keep an eye on him later. He'll be exhausted running with our dogs."

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Rey." Jason said as she shook her head fondly.

"You owe me breakfast." Reyna ordered as she looked up the address. "Here's the breakfast spot. Meet me there in thirty. Put on your best 'I'm not a teenage heartthrob' outfit please. They have amazing blueberry pancakes, Percy can vouch for that. And they're dog friendly."

"Yes madam. See ya." Jason's image quickly disappeared leaving Reyna alone with her thoughts. She stared at the black screen before pressing the phone against her chest.

Jason is a mess. In reality, he's nothing like the suave characters directors often casted him as. He doesn't have a typical teenager experience, constantly moving around for work. Growing up in the spotlight, Jason played different parts. Reyna often wondered if he knew the difference between himself and the characters he played. Her frown deepened. The video was getting too much attention way too quickly.

Reyna clicked her phone on, pulling up the chat she had with Annabeth. Keep an eye out for him, Rey. "I'm trying." Reyna murmured before heading towards the kitchen.

"That wasn't Frank's voice." Hylla greeted curtly. Reyna sighed, glancing up at the ceiling.

"No it wasn't. I have other friends, you know." Reyna commented as she hopped on the stool beside her. Hylla looked exhausted juggling grad night courses and her coaching job at the nearby high school. After getting her undergrad in psychology, Hylla returned to study sports medicine to help her student athletic better. She reached out, brushing a bit of Reyna's hair out of her face. "He's having a crisis."

"Ah youth. I thought it was Frank by the way you smiled." Reyna touched her cheeks like she could feel the smile. What does Hylla even mean by that? "You only smile that widely after talking to Frank." Reyna's eyes furrowed in confusion. What does that mean? Her phone vibrated in her pocket.

Jason: Might be a bit late. Get me a stack of pancakes and bacon pls.

"There it is again." Hylla pointed Reyna's side.

"I… it…" Reyna stuttered, trying to get her thoughts together. "I don't have time for you to psychoanalyze me!" Reyna shouted as she ran to her room. Hylla's laughter rang as Reyna slammed the door, pressing her back against it. Her heart pounded at the implications.

"No, no time." Reyna murmured as she moved to her closet. Her fingers touched the soft fabric of a cute and flattering sundress. She pulled her hand away like it burned. It was just a dress though. It wouldn't mean anything. "Damn it, Hylla. What are you doing pulling ideas in my head?"

"Something casual but nice." Reyna reasoned as she shoved the dress aside, pulling out a red long flannel shirt. Her face flushed at the memory of their first meeting. She only wore her sports bra and short shorts, fresh from practice. She pulled a pair of white jean shorts and a plain black tee. She could pair it with a few bracelets or necklace if Reyna felt like it.

"You look cute." Hylla commented as Reyna walked out, gathering her hair over her shoulder. Reyna narrowed her gaze. She didn't need to know that. "What? It's a cute outfit. Trying to impress someone?"

"You're evil." Reyna murmured as she grabbed her keys. "And you're enjoying this. I do not need this right now. Heading to Sophie's."

"Get me an order of blueberry pancakes!" Hylla shouted as Reyna shut the door behind her.

Reyna twirled her order number in her hand as she scooped out a spot on the beach. Sophie's set up was more like a snack shack instead of a diner. A single counter took orders, pumping out delicious breakfast food and much needed coffee. The aroma of sweet syrup, freshly cut fruit and pancake batter mixed with the salty sea air. Seagulls hovered around, well aware there's food here. Reyna found a spot beside the sand, kicking her converses off, and buried her toes in the warm sand. As long as Reyna could remember, she always loved the beach. She couldn't imagine living without it.

"Wow," Reyna heard a soft whisper behind her. Jason stood there, gazing towards were the deep blue of the water and clear sky met. He waved at her as he approached. "Do you approve of my outfit?" He asked cheekily as he held his arms out and did a small turn. The pair of dark washed jeans hugged his legs nicely. He wore them with leather flip flops like a casual weekender. The athletic tank top revealed his pale arms. Thor tugged at his leash, trying to greet Reyna.

"I'm sure your fashion guru will have a few choice words for you." Reyna commented as he sat down. Jason rolled his eyes, running his fingers through his blond hair. Thor wandered over to her, wagging his long tail as he pressed his furry face against her leg. Thor barked eagerly as he leaned into her touch. "Thor is as cute as always."

"Nothing can faze him, thankfully." Jason murmured as he check his phone once more before tucking it away. "I've muted Twitter, turn off DM on Instagram and silenced my phone except for certain numbers. My manager has been blowing it up with text messages."

"Is it wise to ignore him?" Reyna asked as she tucked a bit of her hair over her shoulder. Jason shrugged. He looked really young right now like how he truly is, not an actor on the big screen, but a confused young man. Perfectly timed, the server appeared with two plates and cups of fresh coffee. Jason's face lit up at the sight of pancakes. "I got you a Julian Ramirez special. Blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon, sweet maple syrup and butter."

"Sweet and savory, something he and I can agree on." Jason murmured, grabbing his utensils eagerly. Reyna handed Thor a dog treat which he eagerly gobbled down and settled at the base of their feet.

"Not going to snap a pic?" Reyna asked as she added some sugar into her coffee. Jason shook his head.

"Nah, this is me time." Jason replied before looking up. "Well you and me time. Social media doesn't need to follow my every waking moment." Reyna blinked at the surprisingly sweet comment he delivered so smoothly. "Oh man, this is so good." Jason exclaimed as he dug into the pancakes, gushing over the fluffiness of the pancakes with the sweet blueberries and salty bacon. It still blows her mind how he's actually here in front of her, in the flesh, not just an image on the screen. How she can just ask him if he would like to hang out and they can, like real friends.

"Well, are you going to ask?" Reyna blinked at Jason's sudden question. They just finished their food, watching the passing people as they finished their coffee. A bit of syrup stuck to Jason's chin as he wiped his hands.

"I was going to let you digest before asking the hard hitting questions." Reyna teased as she handed him a napkin. He took it sheepishly, wiping his chin. Reyna coaxed Thor towards her, picking the puppy up so he sat comfortably in her lap.

"How very kind of you." Jason said as he stirred his own drink. "Shoot."

"What do you think of Piper, honestly?" Reyna asked, running her fingers over Thor's fur. Jason sipped his drink, looking out at the ocean.

"Honestly?" Jason echoed as he turned back. Reyna nodded her head. "She's bold. I don't have the guts to ask anyone out or at least someone I've just met. She's charming, already cracking jokes about people and laughing with me like we're old friends. There's an openness about her that I envy, that I wished I had. She can come off as strong especially if the only thing you know about her is what's going on Twitter and social media. I don't think she's a bad person."

"She sounds pretty great." Reyna whispered as she hugged Thor. "Just got swept up and hunt down by the social media hounds." Jason nodded his head, agreeing. It was the age they live in. Putting yourself out there is easy but scary. People can praise and attack you with just a Twitter account. Reyna has received a few cruel comments over time.

"She a good girl and I don't want to hurt her." Jason sighed as he rested his elbows on the table, cradling his face. "I feel like we can be great friends because god knows I need more friends. But what do I say? Has anyone ever asked you out?" Reyna's heart pound as she met Jason's gaze. Jason is a very attractive young man. Any girl would be affected especially if he looked at her like she held the answer to everything.

"Once." She whispered, her mouth suddenly dry. Like it could sense the tension, Reyna's phone vibrated beside her, shaking the table. The screen lit up with a text message from Hylla. Instinctively, Reyna and Jason both looked down at the device. Reyna swiped the message away, leaving her lock screen. Her expression softened as she looked at the picture.

It's a selfie of her and a young man bundled in warm winter clothing. They were at an outdoor ice rink with twinkling glow of the lamps. The man was of Asian descent with clean dark hair and a boyish smile. His arms wrapped around Reyna's shoulders as they both smiled at the camera. Snow dotted their dark hair but Reyna could feel the warmth and love from the photo.

"Who's that?" Jason whispered, pulling Reyna back to him. An endearing smile curled on her lips as she picked up the device.

"My boyfriend."

[imrainai]

[OOC Message log, imrainai & trashrightsactivist]

These are really old. Like, last in-universe year old. But some people wanted to see them, so here they are.

Summer, 3422

imrainai: Could I read the sideblog? You have a lot of really interesting things to say, and I'd like to read them. If you're ok with it. ^_^'

Trashrightsactivist: I would trust a promise from you, you seem trustworthy. So I will add you if you promise me that you understand how serious it could be if someone like tidalwave got hold of information that could tell her who I am in real life - I could quite easily die - and also promise you won't mention any of that info anywhere public. Is that okay?

Imrainai: Yeah, I promise. I definitely don't want anything bad to happen to you.

Trashrightsactivist: cool, adding you in a sec

Weeks Later

imrainai: ruby? are you ok? just laying low for a bit? You're safe, right?

Trashrightsactivist: yes. i am very sad and angry about things. but safe.

Imrainai: <3 please stay safe ok

Trashrightsactivist: i'll do my best. you too

Later

Imrainai: I think the internet's gonna cut out in a bit, so just wanted to tell you again to stay safe and take care of yourself. you're a good internet friend, OK, so make sure you're still here when I get back

Imrainai: taz liked your story about the aliens btw. I had to modify it some because I don't want him telling his teachers he's getting red-positive propaganda at home, it was about criminals and poor people. but the basic moral was intact, and he seemed to agree with it.

I just... be careful, OK, the world needs all the good people it can get

Trashrightsactivist: thank you. and I'm glad he liked the story, it's about the downtrodden whatever colour their hair is so yeah

Weeks Later

imrainai sent a post caste flexibility meme!

Imrainai: tag, you're privately it

Imrainai: also the internet's back and your blog is not back, are you still there

Trashrightsactivist: I will post caste meme soon. I have a secret new blog.

Trashrightsactivist: as in - the blog is not a secret but the fact that it's me is a secret

Trashrightsactivist: what i learned from tryna fill out the meme is mostly that i would be a sucky purple :P

Imrainai: ohhh, ok

Imrainai: also same

Imrainai: but I also feel like I'd feel like that no matter what I was. probably everything looks easier than it is from the outside

Trashrightsactivist: well you're like coping and looking after a baby so you must be doing something right! But probably true

Imrainai: at least if i were YELLOW i could ADVANCE in the LIBRARY SYSTEM

Imrainai: but yeah I guess Ves is more important anyway, so I can't be, like, totally failing at life in general

Trashrightsactivist: yeah that's one of the dumb things about the caste system tbh - as a purple its super hard to get anywhere really successful unless you got this one specific skillset of 'run a business'

Imrainai: well you can only run certain kinds of businesses, is the thing. like, I can't start an editing service or watch other people's kids or something

Trashrightsactivist: which is sooo dumb

Imrainai: I do not think I could, like, successfully run a restaurant or a furniture company or make clothes

Imrainai: there are lots of options, so you'd think ONE of them would work, but so far nah

Imrainai: ............I should probably not actually be complaining about my life circumstances to you, that seems rather inconsiderate

Trashrightsactivist: hmm - idk if homeschooling is a thing in Voa. If I was the kinda oddball economics green i mighta been in another life I would suggest you might be able to set up a purple-for-purple homeschooling group and argue the income as being purple either on the basis of it being like house spousing or like consultation (in that being your caste *is* the qualifying factor for a purple-for-purple homeschool)

Trashrightsactivist: and nah, it's fine - it's actually helpful to give me different things to think about tbh

Trashrightsactivist: you could apply the same argument to a daycare specifically meant to socialise purple kids in a purple environment. But idk your employment law well enough you'd need to get a solicitor to advise on it.

Imrainai: Homeschooling is a thing, but I think if you make money at it it stops being homeschooling

Imrainai: I dunno, maybe one of the librarians can help me figure it out tho

Imrainai: they're good about stuff like that

Trashrightsactivist: yeah, I mean at minimum they can probably help you find and understand the books with the law stuff in

Imrainai: Liet's orange and I could maybe finagle something around that, but she's old enough that asking her to actually work is not really.... fair to her, so

Imrainai: and yeah

Trashrightsactivist: what is it you actually do rn if you don't mind me asking? or are you at home with the kid?

Imrainai: oh! no, I work two jobs

Imrainai: I do cleaning at a nursing home and I shelve books at the library

Imrainai: And my second cousin is living here too, she works in a warehouse and sometimes watches the baby

Trashrightsactivist: ahh, right. I was confused for a bit cause i remember a post about the 1st one and i thought you were a care worker and was like 'that's purple?'

Trashrightsactivist: is that liet? the orange person?

Imrainai: Liet's my great-great-grandmother, I am am sort of EFFECTIVELY her caretaker but she's family so I don't get paid for that

Imrainai: and I do look after the old people at the nursing home, but that is not actually my job, it is just... a thing that happens when I am in close proximity to people who need things

Trashrightsactivist: really should be crossover work

Trashrightsactivist: you know one of those jobs thats two castes

Trashrightsactivist: if orange-grandma lives with you it miight be doable to do the daycare and have it that like, she owns it officially and employs you, but again you'd need to check out the legalities

Imrainai: I mean in THEORY there is a simple dividing line between "care worker" and "cleaning lady" but with elderly people the line is not always actually clear

Trashrightsactivist: yeah thats why it should be crossover

Trashrightsactivist: are you any good with numbers and people management?

Imrainai: And yeah, maaaaybe, but if anyone ever investigated it I think it would rapidly become obvious that Liet wasn't really... doing anything

Imrainai: I've never really tried those things?

Imrainai: I don't think I'm awful with numbers

Imrainai: Though I never got past algebra in school

Trashrightsactivist: I imagine you gotta have people skills to a degree cause like - you're really nice, and dealing with the old ppl probably requires like, being nice but firm

Trashrightsactivist: wouldn't require algebra just finance - you could build up to a small cleaning business?

Imrainai: Oh, I hadn't thought about that, but I guess there's no reason that should be illegal

Imrainai: I do all the budgeting here, I can handle money OK

Trashrightsactivist: yeah well afaik that is entirely a purple thing to be doing, it's cleaning and it's business

Imrainai: That makes sense

Trashrightsactivist: and your library connections and self-starter attitude will mean you can pick up the extra knowledge you'd need

Imrainai: I don't know if I'd actually make more money than just working at the nursing home, but I can look into it

Trashrightsactivist: probly need some seed money i guess

Imrainai: ...yeah, you need some to get started I think

Trashrightsactivist: yeah it would at least have more potential to grow, is what i was thinking

Imrainai: but not THAT much for a cleaning business, you don't need an office or anything for that really

Imrainai: I bet you could do it with just a web page actually

Imrainai: not that I know how to make a decent website

Trashrightsactivist: yeah you probably wouldn't make more to start with but could eventually - if you read the books and stuff and came up with a good business model you could probably pitch it to people to get a small investment for like, a website and some supplies, maybe a vehicle

Trashrightsactivist: tell the nursing home they can hire you as a contractor through your business, but if you've got other work you have more leverage to get better pay there

Imrainai: That's an interesting idea... I dunno if they'd go for it, but at least this is something to look into. It's good to have options.

Imrainai: Thanks :)

Trashrightsactivist: I mean. In a sane world you could learn more about the library while you stack shelves and work your way up to librarian but we don't live in a sane world

Trashrightsactivist: np :) I better get back to work but good luck if you decide to try it

Trashrightsactivist: oh secret new me is truth-from-ashes btw. Trusting you to keep that sceret.

Trashrightsactivist: ttyl

Weeks Later

Imrainai: Wanted to thank you for the idea to start a business. Liet's going to be starting up after-school tutoring really soon, and apparently it's absolutely legal for me to volunteer at her business and for her to then put that money towards food and rent. I'll get to make money while spending time with my family and helping Taz and his classmates with their homework. :D

Days Later

Imrainai: ruby did you hear about the thing

Imrainai: the orvara thing

Imrainai: you're not in orvara are you

Days later

Imrainai: please don't be in orvara

Later

Trashrightsactivist: I'm not there. I'm sorry if my absence from the online was worrying- reds everywhere are panicky right now and that's been my focus.

Imrainai: no no it's ok! just wanted to make sure you weren't. uh. actually dead

Imrainai: be safe

Imrainai: or as safe as possible I guess

Trashrightsactivist: You too. I don't know what's going to happen now but it's not going to be good and it's not going to just be us that suffers for it in the end.

Fall, 3422

Imrainai: ruby are you still alive and kicking and there and stuff

Several weeks later

Imrainai: rubyyyyyyy

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 1 - “The Ghosts of Tumblr Survivor Past, Present, and Future“ - AUGUSTO

So getting to know my tribe, I see a couple of familiar faces like Jared and JG from other places. Regan also hosted Flops which is a good thing since I got along with her. However if I'm being honest I feel like I connect with Dan the most, hopefully we can talk a bit more because I want to work with him in the future. 

from deep within the void* hi sisters It’s me, Dan. So I really am like doing nothing in this game rn. I’m the only person who said they could do the flag and I know my gay ass isn’t good enough for that. So I’m just going to submit some bullshit I make in five minutes and call it a day. Fucking Alex Crooks is on the other side and I can hear his cocky little ass right now being like. “WeLl I’m MoSt QuAlIfIEd BeCaUsE i MaDe GrApHiCs FoR pReViOuS tS sEaSoNs” I literally don’t even know him that well but I hate him so I hope he’s an early boot so I don’t even have to entertain the idea of speaking to him on a game or personal level. Call me a bitch, call me jealous, but seeing him stroke his own ego for no reason in VLs has completely turned me off to ever wanting to talk to him ever. Don’t even get me started on that extra ass intro video sis. Get a hobby. As far as my tribe goes, I will do anything for Sam Bosse, so. Jared knows Amanda and is dating Nicole and may be the weirdest person I’ve ever had to talk to. Agus is cool and I wanna work with him I think. And honestly I don’t remember anyone else’s name rn.....oh Allison! She’ll probably be inactive for the first week, we’ll lose the challenge and hopefully vote her out. It’s just #EasierThatWay And that’s all you really missed on Glee. *fades into the abyss*

REGAN SCARES TF OUTTA ME. DRAKE IS A COOL DUDE. I LOVE SAM. AUGUSTO DESERVES THE WORLD. AND FRANKIE IS PRETTY CHILL. ALSO, I MESSED UP REALLY BAD AND CALLED ALLISON AMANDA. 

It’s time to open shop cause we’re back for business, baby! And this time we REALLY mean business. Okay, yeah… that’s cringy but I’m just really thankful that I’m back for the fifth time to redeem myself. Redemption means to finish what I’ve set out to do the four times I’ve played before; to win. I’ve messed it up for myself countless times before and it’s up to me to do better, be better. Now it’s just a matter of how it’ll happen. :D 

Just put back 99 bottles down with Johnny and Vilma. We knocked it out perfectly in about as little time as possible, so I think we've got at least 1 of our 3 that we need to win immunity. We spent an hour and a half talking to each other so we really got to build something too. I'm glad that we did that and hope we can all move forward together. 

With this being my fifth game, this isn’t my first rodeo per se but I need to act like it is for my sake. I always come into games with 150% effort right off the bat and it gets me out incredibly early, so I guess you could say my strategy is to be more chill? I want to really put effort into my relationships with people on this first day so there’s a semi-solid foundation for at least this round. More often than not, the people that are active and likable during the first day end up staying at least for the very first round. After I make good conversation with a majority of our tribe the first day, I’ll be a little less active in talking to people and see who keeps up the effort to talk to me, etc. Let’s see how long I keep this up though… 

*a few moments later*

This cast = stacked, period. I’m genuinely happy for everyone returning to right their wrongs (yes, even Johnny). The Lazare Tribe has the better tribe color, no cap… but I’m glad I’m on Malabar. I’ve played with Johnny and Roxy in Flops and Great Lakes respectively, plus I lost to Alex in my first ORG ever. While being on a tribe with Roxy would be a good time guaranteed, it wouldn’t be good for either of us in terms of longevity cause I feel we’d be clumped together and targeted for it. So for the moment, I’ll have to be without the icon herself and hope to be on a tribe with her in the future. As far as Johnny goes, he was a large reason why I left Flops in the first place plus we were super close allies that never trusted each other, so if we do meet again it would either be a clash of the titans or the best collab since Mariah and Whitney. (K, I cringed @that but it works). Plus, he was the one who randomized the rock draw that got me out in Socotra so the universe is basically saying he is not one to be trusted! If we would’ve started on a tribe together, things would’ve gotten awkward quick so I’m glad I’m spared from that and can spread my own wings until I meet him again. SO yeah, thank you hosts for putting me on Malabar, xoxo.

*a few moments later*

Guess the hosts are feeling the Christmas spirit by bringing the Ghosts of Tumblr Survivor Past, Present, and Future to us. You guessed it, our season’s twist is Ghost Island, which centers around all the mistakes, misplays, and misfortunes of all who have played TS before. I mean they played TS to begin with so that’s probably the first mistake, but in all seriousness… I probably have like 58493 items hidden at Ghost Island. We got the misplayed extra vote from Flops, the idol I went home with in Flops, the exile pass I didn’t use in Great Lakes, the rock I drew in Socotra, we could probably even include the whole Aomak tribe and Great Lakes as a whole. All in all, we got options! As you can see, I don’t have the best experience with advantages but as part of my unfinished business, I want to go to Ghost Island to at least have the opportunity to redeem myself. This’ll be interesting for sure, especially since someone will be exiled from Tribal Council every round which is an advantage and disadvantage within itself. Realistically though, I can see them sending in Regan every round cause people are like that lmaooooo 

* another few moments later*

Okay, I think I’m doing okay for like the first time ever? I don’t know, my tribe is just really cool and I’ve vibed with almost everyone to some extent. If I had to pick my favorite person on the tribe, I would say Samantha just because we legit have so much in common and had some surprisingly deep conversation like about how diversity is super important in our society. So yeah, she’s awesome. If I had to pick a second, it would be either Ashen or Jared just because we’ve had tons of laughs in our conversations, which is nice. For example, Ashen talked about being from Tennessee and hating country music which turned into us having a fake band and then with Jared, we were making jokes about how we are making profit off of our fake OnlyFans account. Regan and I are somewhat close, just because she hosted me and like I try to be really nice to her since some people act kinda messed up towards her. Drake and I were both in Flops, but we never interacted since we were never on a tribe together and same goes with Dan in Great Lakes, so hopefully I get the chance to play with them. While I started interacting with Frankie kinda late, we’ve had some cute little chats which is nice. JG was a little hard to talk to in PMs, but we were interacting a lot during the tribe call so who knows! The only person that I, and I think everyone else, haven’t really talked to is Allison just because she hasn’t been here all that much. I do know her somewhat from playing Izu Islands with her though, so if she and I talk it’d be fun to catch up and get to know each other more. This is all great, but it’d make a future tribal kinda difficult. I do think that Allison would be a scapegoat for everyone, which is a tiny bit reassuring but again, you never know. 

The Art of the Meme: My social game is good enough to get me through to a potential tribe swap. I HOPE. And it is all encompassed in my ability to make others laugh. How, you say? Memes. I try my best to analyze the personalities of the tribe and place whichs memes fit best with each person during lulls in the conversation. That way, it never seems like the convo is drying up! Relationship Rankings: 1. JG 2. Dan 3. Drake 4. Samantha 5. Augusto 6. Reegan 7. Ashen 8. Frankie 9. Allison

Normally I do video confessionals, but we'll do this just to have something in real quick while it's fresh! Just jumped off call with Alex. Hands down this is the guy I wanna work with coming into this game. Only guy I know who's a loyal type of player unless given reason not to be. That's who I want on my side. He's also a threat in these games and having a nice little punching bag in front of me throughout this game will be nice lol. So without even second guessing, he's the guy I'm riding this game out with. Obviously though I need to make some other connections and right now priorities lie with Johnny, Roxy, and Zach. Johnny I connect with the most outside of Alex. He seems pretty tight and honestly they like each other so maybe forming a 3 with them in the future would make my day!!! Roxy on the other hand is a little intense and is obviously a social threat. However having people like her on my side to make connections that I can't is vital to my game so I really want to work on her/him too idk lol. Finally, we have Zach. This guy I didn't even talk to up until recently, however Alex seems to think he's in a really good spot with the entire tribe already with 24 hours of the game starting lol. Alex seems to think it's impossible to get this guy out early and you know what they say? If you can't beat them, join them! So my "mission" right now is to get super tight with this guy because if not, I could easily be the first boot on this tribe for not connecting with the "King Pin"

Ok, so we lost the first challenge and Alison is basically guaranteed first boot due to her inactivity. But I kind of hope they send her to ghost island so we get the real drama and have to make rifts in the game and go for blood instead of an easy target. As long as it’s not me I don’t really care.

okay winning the first immunity while I tried to plan the strategy of all three components of the challenge? LIVING FOR IT Not sending Regan to the first ghost island because she's a troll and I kind of hate everything she does as a person? Also here for it. Very happy Jared went to Ghost Island because I'm trying to get him to trust me this time around, and hopefully my friendship with Nicole can blossum into something great. I know not many people are going to actively try to work with both of them, so if I can manage to work with both of them for as long as they're in the game, I feel it'll benefit me? idk. it's tricky At least I'm safe! No 20th for me whewwwwwww 

*a few moments later*

I DONT KNOW HOW I DO IT BUT I LITERALLY FOUND AN IDOL ON MY FIRST TRY Not telling anyone. If people ask me about my searches im going to get so triggered because i don't know how to lie about not finding anything yet, but god speed. I can't wait for my three episode unfinished business stint to be OTTNN for 3 episodes and then be voted out because I went to someone's house and actually set them on fire? Queen Ashlyn WHO? 

So my tribe lost first immuntiy such a bummer, I mean i hope im not first boot but honestly i dont know. People say Allison since shes been inactive so im fine with that but im going to hold my vote until i know for sure since everything can change in 24 hours i had it happen to me. 

so roxy and alex are sending fucking audio messages of themselves singing in the tribe chat and it’s kinda annoying like damn i didn’t know this was the voice //: 

The idol hunt is on. I already know 7 places that it isn't thanks to everyone else. I'm going to keep trying to figure it out using communications with other people. I'm going to give it a shot on my own now. 

Hello this is Roxy and it's my first confessional. We just finished our first immunity and we want really happy because I like my tribe and I do not know who I would have voted out if we went to tribal I think I'm in a very good standing but my social game is plummeting with everyday I need to really get my head in the game and to get to know people I haven't been able to do that and that's not good like I talked a bit and it's all Hollow on Surface but if I really want everybody to be in my pants when I need to crank up by social game two little bit hard with the fact that I'm only Australian and I'm not the best at social because I don't know what to say or how to start a conversation other than when it comes to strategy and talking to my strategy is not good and Elsa leads to paranoia which leads to getting voted out or idoled out. I'll see if there are some words that don't make sense in those days because I'm doing a speech to text thing because I'm too lazy to type but I really want this n text nobody's gonna watch the video. So I will do a cost assessment now for ACL to my tribe so we have alex crooks I love it looks crooks he's really nice and sweet and have a connection through steam but the problem is I haven't been able to socialize with him alot or connect with him so that will be my top priority because I really want to work with him and I think you'll feel loyal to me Next we have asya.  She's nice and I know her from house of shade I haven't been able to talk to her much apart from the first day I got a 6 that I don't think I see myself working with her long term but I know that is supported to have strong social connection with her because I think she's a loyal type it should stick to her Ally and she could also easily turn people against me I think she has that kind of social power Next is Johnny I like him and I really want to work with him I f***** him up into other or something lol it cencored me. Anyways I want to work closely with him and I think it will be better official to me beneficial not official to be bothered to backspace and Away the only problem with him is that I don't have that much impact usually I feel like I'm seen more as under the radar the matter what I do so then I brought up the bigger players and Johnny is somebody who easily get so much credit just because he is a present and I don't have my skills but still want to talk with her VI: There's my girl and I think if I have a final 2 she would be it I think she's loyal once you're stuck with me and yeah she's cute nice nicole: I haven't had a lot of chance to talk with Nicole she's been sort of not that here because it she's sick but I think she is potential big Ally but I don't feel a lot of potential or f*** I just said potential twice I mean like this potential but I don't know for sure and we'll see how time Curtis but we'll see I don't know Ruben: There is another contender for final to it'll be Reuben I think that he won't ever but he'll be super loyal and I'm going to put a lot of effort into my relationship with them because I believe that is the why is this for me strategically and he also seems really nice he always apologize for everything must be from New Zealand lol jokes VIlma: Barely seems to be on but I think when I go overseas I want to go to Israel time zone is my line better but I'm not sure Zach seems to like her and he wants to bring her into reliance in says oh because she's not that on that much she'll be loyal to us and I think that workout zach: So I can I have a tricky past but I think he will remain loyal to me which is why ive decided to allign with him. He has already made a 1 on 1 chat with me and a f3 chat with vi and i and wants an allaince with alex myself johnny vi and vilma. lets see how that goes. ALso we fuckin squashed them. Heh. 

"It's been almost 5 hours on Exile... I haven't eaten in days. The rumblings of my stomach are a chorus to the ears of a wild, lonely man. Only strategy crosses my mind now. How do I win this game? How do I maximize the advantage of having Nicole here and minimize the potential detriment? I have good bonds already with the occupants of Lazare. Johnny, though once a foe, could prove to be an asset to me in this game. I won't count my chickens before they hatch." *BONG BONG BONG go the drums of the natives* "Cannibals, certainly. And so I hide, erasing my plans, finger-drawn in the dirt." ~4 hours pass~ "The hosts have come and gone. 'Eureka!' they say, their camera phones foreign to me now. I have decided to give the Legacy Advantage to Nicole. Still, I question this decision. It is unlikely that this tool will have much utility now. There are benefits to being away from Malabar. Obvious in it's nature- Ghost Island will protect me from eviction. Though alliances will be formed without me, I should be able to make it to the tribe swap with the relationships I've nurtured, needing only a majority of 5 when I return. I will sleep for now, dreams bound to be boasting new plans. Sweet byebye forever Cao Boi." 

The challenge flop from Flops jumped out and so did the losing Great Laker from Socotra… and the Sarpang member from Bhutan…. All in all, a sis sucks at challenge as shown by me bringing a DODGEBALL to a PAINTBALL fight. Starting off on the losing tribe is something I’m sadly used to, but I hope it doesn’t become a Aomak Part 2 as that was enough for me to take tbh. With Malabar losing however, it gives us a chance to form strategic connections which sucks for Jared who was sent to Ghost Island. Him being sent was a little weird to me since I expected someone like Samantha or even Allison to be sent, but I’m glad he’s going since we were pretty tight those from 3 days. Speaking of Allison, where is she? She legit hasn’t shown up and I hope it isn’t anything serious outside of the game and if it is, I’m sorry Allison (when she sees this). That being said, she’s the likely first boot since she’s the most inactive. Although, I am a bit concerned for Samantha since she’s been a little quiet recently and she told me not many talk to her. Plus, Dan let me know her name was out there a little bit and gave me a backstory on Sam and Regan’s supposed beef. Dan and I have really gotten closer in these past few days and he actually approached me about working together, so I’m glad I actually have a semi-solid ally this early! Tribal council seems easy for this first round and I hope it stays that way for at least a little bit :D 

so tbh im super nervous no one is speaking to me and like I honestly think it can't possibly be as simple as Allison. But then again are they dumb enough to vote me, who could be an asset over an inactive like Allison? Also I trust Dan, Augusto, and Drake

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself