#yes I understand you're trying to make a theoretical point but I reject the fundamental premise you're working from

[klysanderelias]

any time theodicy comes across my dash I get worked up and type like a couple thousands words of response before I remember that I'm too much of a communist to care about theodicy anymore

[extasiswings]

Ok I need your big brain, do you think that maybe talking with eddie will make buck understand that he can’t be a father and walk away? or he will be rejected to be a donor for family history or whatever and Eddie’ ll be there to pick up the pieces? I think I’ll prefer option 1, so I hope that buck decides for himself, but what do you think?😘

Honestly, I think right now it's looking like he's not going to talk to Eddie about this at all and they're primed for it to blow up in their faces (as I said in another post, really not unlike Hen and Karen right now, with Hen making decisions that are going to impact not just her but her family without talking to her wife). The way the episode framed it was that this is a secret. Yes, he did ultimately go to Hen for her advice, but he's very deliberately not talking about certain things with certain people and not listening even when those conversations happen (like blowing off Maddie's thoughts about his "year of yes" or whatever, theoretically musing on Hen's question about whether he can walk away but then agreeing anyway). See also, the foreshadowing of Buck on the bike, charging off without a word, and Eddie shouting after him "Where the hell are you going?" Because Buck's going off down a path that Eddie can't see or understand and Buck's not saying a word.

I also do think he'll end up being rejected as a donor, or otherwise not following through in a way that's related to the Daniel of it all (as opposed to something that makes his withdrawal voluntary). I totally understand and respect the desire to want to see Buck set healthy boundaries for himself and say no on his own for healthy reasons, and I'll be perfectly content if I'm proven wrong, but I genuinely don't think that Buck's there yet.

Because Buck does not set real boundaries even when things are hurting him. He spent nearly a year in a relationship with Taylor that was making him miserable, trying to force himself to accept the things he didn't like about her, changing himself rather than setting a boundary, accepting that he fundamentally cannot compromise on certain things, and ultimately ending things. That took a year. And frankly, with all the self-help nonsense he's ingesting, there is nothing about the path he’s currently on that is going to help him get to a point of being able to set the boundaries he needs to and learn to say no to things that are harmful to him.

And here's the thing. These writers are so intentional and so good at telling difficult, adult stories about trauma and healing. And they are consistent. They have made clear with so many other characters, Athena, Maddie, Eddie, (and Bobby, Hen, and Chim on somewhat lesser scales), that when you ignore and avoid your trauma instead of facing it, you will hurt yourself and the people around you and you will not be able to make the healthy decisions you need to for your life.

Buck is not facing his trauma. Buck got a little bit of therapy, washed his hands, and said he was all good (including with his parents). But Buck has massive issues, as we've all seen over the seasons. And Buck’s lack of self-worth, his feelings of expendability, his inability to set boundaries—those are all intrinsically linked to his root trauma—Daniel, the “spare parts”/“defective parts” of it all that was revealed in What's Your Grievance/Buck Begins but that Buck has never actually reckoned with in a meaningful way. And until he does, he cannot achieve any sort of meaningful healing and growth.

It's like the hotel walkway that collapsed at the Happiness Convention. They identified the problem, but never made the repairs, so years later it finally gave out. That’s the story they’re telling. That's Buck. (Similarly with the birdwatcher and the tree, the thinking it's fine to get close to something because it seems harmless now, only for something to shift so that now you're being crushed under it without warning).

The Daniel of it all needs to come up again, because otherwise Buck will simply keep ignoring it. And as painful as this storyline is, it's also a perfect vehicle for that, particularly after they went to the trouble of giving us Maddie in Dumb Luck (really only about 8 episodes ago) talking/worrying about whether she should have had children at all because of their family medical history. I don't see a way where it doesn't come up, and that's why I also think it has to relate to Buck ultimately not going through with it, whether because he's rejected by the parents after they find out, or because a doctor tells him he shouldn't (or can't), or something to that effect.

[Related to Buck not setting boundaries or talking about things that hurt him, I've mentioned before that he's misunderstood Eddie and Christopher and the will entirely, but he's also never acknowledged that, and so Eddie's out here thinking he made Buck his partner and co-parent as a sign of his love while Buck feels like he's just a fallback and not a real father and is sitting in that space of feeling miserable about it. So in that sense, in his mind this donation maybe doesn't feel all that different to what he's doing with them. And while him learning that lesson (that he already is a father, that his family is right there) is part of his journey, I think he still has a ways to go before he'll be able to see that, especially if he continues hiding things from Eddie and therefore not giving him the chance to clarify anything].