#yes I have used the female husbands book in some of my grad work too

[chemicallady]

Daddy is home

Greg Sanders x Reader

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading this. If you want some fluff with just a little sadness, you're in the right place.

Couple: Greg Sanders/Female!Reader

Category: Mostly fluff with a little piece of angst. Family slice of life for Greggo.

Content Warning: none

Summary:  Reader is use to feel Greg absence.... but what about is own children? And Greg? What's more important? His job or his family?

*****

You are use to feel Greg absence, almost every night and, sometimes, even for days. It wasn't a big deal when you two started to see each other. You were a grad student, looking for a PhD out of town - searching for a new experience- and he was a lab tech at the crime lab in Vegas. Your relationship had worked for 5 years while you were in Salt Lake City, even if you constantly missed him so much and viceversa. He spent a lot of utahns weekends at your apartment and you came back in Nevada for every break.

After your PhD graduation you came back to Vegas and he proposed to you. It was an hard time, Warrick was dead, he had printed is first book on Vegas history and you just settled down at UNLV. You had lived togheter two months and then he proposed. Of course you said yes and the two of you had a small cerimony at the Eclipse, Catherine's casinó. It was an intimate cerimony, with your friends and co workes and relatives from Norway and (your hometown/country.)

You had worked hard on your post doc as a teaching assistant and a researcher and he has continued his job as a csi. You have always prefered working at night the days you didnt have any class, in order to be awake when he came back home in the morning.

It worked since you discovered that you were pregnant. Both of you were so excited to become parents, it has always been something that you desire, having your own kids. Start a family.

After Bjorn birth, by the way, everything changed. You have started to work in the morning and sleeping at night in order to provide the best standard of living for your son. And, after two years and half, Jodie came to the world, complicating thing but coloring your life even more.

You constantly miss Greg, of course. You miss your youth with him, the mornings spent in making love with jazz music in the background before a lazy afternoons sleeping in his arms. The days he came to the University after job to pick you up.

But both of you love your family.

It's stil working.

Because you love him and Greg loves you more than anything.

More than that, he is born to be a dad. He was scared as hell, but he perfect fits that role.

Even more, he is methodical.

He is really good in keeping job separating from his personal life, even if his coworkers are his family. And yours as well.

☆

...But is hard for kids to understand why dad is never home. Especially for Bjorn, who is the eldest. He has started to notice this situation in the last weeks and you have been scared of this moment since you gave birth to him.

《 Why daddy can't come today?》

You look at your baby boy, feeling really sorry for the whole situation. It is his first baseball match with the pre school team as a player in the field from the first minute and it means a lot to him.

Bjorn's really smart for his age, he understand that his parents jobs are important because is a duty... But is natural that he feels so betrayed. He is still too young to even imagine how demanding is Greg's job.

《Because daddy has a case》, you try to explain with a soft voce, caressing his blonde hair with two fingers. He seems totaly like his father in this moment. 《He has to catch this big bad guy and-》

《Why uncle Nick is not catching him for daddy? Just for today! 》

《Because they work togheter, sweetheart... you know that. We already talk about daddy's job...》

Not in a specific way, of course. Greg is more like a super hero to Bjorn.... he is too innocent and young to know how cruel and horrible could be the world sometimes.

《It's not fair. He never came to see me play》

《That's not fair... you know that daddy is so sad for this... he ask me to shot everything so he can see it as long as he will be home!》

That doesn't help.

《And I'll be already in bed》 he snuffles, before running in his room, nearly cry.

You don't know how to manage this. Both of Greg and you are really indipendent.... that's why your wedding is so strong, because you don't need the other around one all the time.

But for Bjorn is different. He needs his daddy as he needs you. Most of that, he wants to make Greg proud of him, shows him how he has improved thanks also to their weekend practices on Sundays.

You are still thinking about a solution, but Jo start to cry from her playbox.

You have to speak with your husband and decide what tell to Bjorn, togheter.

He deserves a good explanation.

☆

It's late when Greg comes home.

He is surprised when he notice that the kitchen lights are still turned on. You are sitting at the table, looking at your laptop as you can't really see it.

《 y/n, baby?》, he calls you, waking you up from your thoughts. 《Are you ok? It's like 3 in the morning, sweetie.》

《Yeah, I was looking over some notes from next week semenary when I realised how late it was, I decided to wait for you to come back.》

《Thanks, after a couple of double shifts, I really need to speak with my wife》, he says with a smile, before kisses your lips and take a sits next to you. 《I've missed home in those last two days.》

《Have you slept a little?》, you ask worried. When a case is so demanding, the team works till they are exhausted. 《Did you have a propel meal?》

《...I ate two sandwiches Dr Robbins' wife made for us.》

《....there is some roast left. I'm gonna warm it for you and then I'll put you in the bed at least for nine hours, bright man》

He laughts a little. 《Yes ma'am.》

You stand up, caressing his hair, after place a kiss on his head. 《Tell me about the cause. Was that bad?》

《More like a nightmare....》

He starts talking about the brutal abductions he was working on those last days. In the meanwhile you are cooking for him. You open a good bottle of wine your father sent to you last week and prepare a couple of fine glasses. Is not a problem for you when Greg talks about his job. For some unknown reasons, it grows on you during the years togheter. You also have helped the team sometimes with you competences. It's quite normal for the two of you speaking about your day. It helps to split away the stress and find always your connection. And is always reliving for you see that even if the job is so demanding physically and emotionally, Greg can totaly handle it. Not only. He loves is job. Even in dark days like this one.

《Poor girls....》, is the only thing you can say, while you're watching your husband eat like he was starving. 《No one deserve this kind of fate...》

《Think at the parents 》, he observes, moving his elbows quickly. 《If someone would have done something like that on Jodie, I'd went mad.》

You stop thinking about the case immediately.

《Sorry for the unhappy connection.... but if you are not too tired, we need to speak about our boy.》

Greg looks at you surprised. 《What about him? Bad day?》

《Yes》, you answer, surprising him even more. Bjorn is really talented in sports, unlike his father. 《He played 10 minutes than he had an argument with the coach and spent the rest of the afternoon warming the bench.》

This is unusual. Bjorn is a good lad. Always smiley and obedient at preschool. Teachers love him because he is so good and he knows a lot about science and stuff even if he is four. Mom is an academic, a college professor and daddy is a scientist. How could be different? He is also responsible and he always take serious the baseball trainings. That's the first time he disobey this much.

《What happened y/n? Oh, no. Let me guess.》 You look him cover his own face with a hand. 《He is mad at me, isn't he?》

《Yep babe, he is really mad at you. And at me as well. By now, I think he is mad at the world because you didn't come today.... I explained him that's not your fault, but...》

Greg sighs 《But it is my fault. When he born I swore to God that I'd be a good father even if my job is.... the 70% of my life.》

《But you are》, you say with a stubborn tone in your voice. 《You are a good father. It was just and unfortunate Saturday. He have never missed a game before. You'd be there if it wasn't for the case. 》

《I know but he deserves more than all those 'if' statements. 》 You look at him, feeling the heaviness of this thoughts. 《I should stay in the lab.》 He finally says and you realise a long sigh. This is not going to be an happy conversation, not with your regretting husband weak moment. 《The moment I met you, I knew you were the one. I wanted to start a family before changing job, work on field. It was a stupid decision. If I continued to work as DNA tech we would have more money and more time to spend all togheter.》

《.... I throught we were out with 'if' statements.》

《Y/n, honey-》

《Don't you dare 'honey' me, Greg Sanders.》 You stop him. You keep his hand in yours and smile. 《You are an amazing father. One day, when he will be older and wiser, he will understand. Now is easy to handle the situation. If you spend a day with him, he'll forget about it. Is just a kid, G.》

Greg seems not satisfied. He feels like an idiot, not thing about how mad is son would be noticed his absence. But he also trust your judgement. He always says that you are an amazing mom and even more, the best of wives.

So he smiles back.

《Maybe you are right.》

《Maybe?》, you ask with an ironical tone. He stand up and comes near to you. He offers his hand and you keep it, staning on your feet.

《Sorry Dr Sanders》, he replies, while you are wrapping your arm on his neck. 《You're completely right y/n. I'm already planning an afternoon, just for boys.》

《He'll love it》, you reassure him, before asking for another kiss, with more passion. You both find a good arrangement so you can clean the kitchen and try to sleep at least three hours.

.....or maybe do something more interesting with you husband, who seems to have plans, looking the way he is lifting the t-shirt of your pijama....

You are use to feel Greg absence, that's true.

But when he comes back, well.... that's the moment you realise how much you actually have missed him. And how much you love him and be loved in return.

○Fin○

[leggigoesabroad]

we’re only here on borrowed time

Sitting on a lovely, smooth, high-speed train from Nuremberg, Germany to Paris.  Yesterday was a day from hell which I'll lightly get into but not dwell on, but for now, I'm so happy.  I'd be remiss to not mention why!!  Part of the reason I decided to book the train instead of flying from Prague to Paris was for many uninterrupted hours to listen to this new book my doctor recommended for me, called "Stress Less, Accomplish More" but Emily Fletcher.  It obviously sounds like a typical self-help book, but I have a crush on my doctor and she really sold it for me.  (BTW she's no older than like, 32, is married with two kids, super pretty, and totally gets me.  She's very female-centric and one time said 'I'll never let you leave here without a prescription for more birth control, we will never let the system be the reason you're struggling with something' after asking if I had enough for the foreseeable future.  Joke's on her, I'm single AF, but it really spoke to me.)  She said it's a book about meditation and although I've tried meditating before, I am a little bit of a natural skeptic as to allllllllll of its listed benefits.  She said this super simple technique helps you sleep better, greatly reduces anxiety/depression, get sick less often, be more effective at work, eliminate jet lag, on and on.  She said she honestly can't say enough about it and it completely changed her life.  I took this as a way to be more like her and immediately bought it.  Also because I wanted her to like me.  Incidentally, she texted me a few days ago inviting me to a new women's group she's developing for people in my demographic who are going through the same things. ��Because like of COURSE she did!! She also tells me to call her Casey instead of by "Doctor" and man I should stop now this is getting weird.

Anyway, this book is by an ex-Broadway performer who noticed she was going grey at age 28 (cough cough I am too) and was sick of all the medications she used to treat these symptoms and wanted to get more at the root.  She talks about how simple this meditation method is - 15 minutes twice a day - and how it is literally the best thing she's ever done for herself in her life.  After her course, she asks people how much money it would take to stop meditating.  They all say something between "500 million dollars" and "no amount of money in the world, because what would be the point without everything else meditation gives me?"  I booked the train so I could set aside several hours to listen to the book, especially on this trip, because we all know from the Thailand blog era that being far away in new countries is often what helps me make decisions in life and really self-reflect.  Yes, I hear how extra that sounds, but I'm fine with it.  I'm only on Chapter 5 and I keep intermittently crying!!  We haven't even gotten to the part where she tells me HOW to meditate!  Just her background on why it works and the entire theory behind it.  The author talks about one case in which a guy with advanced Parkinson's started her sessions and after literally the first one, his tremors disappeared during the entire 15 minutes and for 5 minutes after.  She said when they both opened their eyes he asked if she had noticed, and she said she did, and started crying because it was arguably the most profound moment of her career.  I'm crying typing this.  Ugh.  She doesn't claim that meditation will cure chronic illnesses of course, but rather that it's the best thing one can possibly do to supplement medical instruction and for some ailments, it can indeed end up replacing them.  She said after she started the practice, she didn't get sick again (cold, flu, anything) for EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS!!  Because when the body can use sleep at night to fully rest and not just as a band-aid for stress relief, your immune system can work at its intended level and not allow any of these small things to come into play.  You'd think I'd be getting paid for this post, but alas, I'm only 5 chapters in and get ready for me to be even more insufferable than usual when I get home.

Onward.  Last I left off I was in a cafe with Lizzy in Prague.  We stayed for a few hours and actually got a lot of work done!  Turns out my freelance deadlines don't disappear when I go to Europe, hmm.  We then walked to an area called Petrin, which from afar just looks like a tree-covered hill.  It's actually an uphill path in an expansive park that ultimately overlooks the entire city of Prague.  The more we went up, I kept thinking "we must be at the top by now" and then new buildings and castles and paths and orchards would appear.  It felt like a hidden fairyland with twists and turns and new beautiful sights along the way.  I posted a pic on the gram, but at one point we came to a clearing and there was a picture-perfect snapshot of the entire city through the trees.  With the red roofs and striking architecture I again almost felt like crying.  Also saw a bunch of couples making out in the orchards with no shame all, so that was something.  Good on 'em, ay.  We stopped for a glass of wine at the top (duh) and ended up chatting about work/management styles/feelings about jobs/etc.  Something great about Lizzy is that it turns out for everything I'm interested in, she's in grad school for.  I felt like she was the manifestation of all things fascinating to me.  Kinda like when you meet someone really smart who is able to vocalize all the things you feel about things, but better.  Like Hilary, but not my sister.  Like Jay Wong, but not my boss!  We talked about Kitty and her job search and then got into the concept of finding a job by figuring out what you love and what comes naturally to you, and then seeing how you can get paid for it.  She loved hearing about Kitty and SpotX and the proposal she had to do about team-building and customer engagement, and we chatted all about different marketable skills.  I remember crying to Hil many years ago (Hil if you read this, do you remember??) about how I *thought* I was smart but I hated studying/learning/school and my grades reflected that, and how I've squandered all my potential, I'm actually really dumb, etc.  BTW in retrospect I now see a lot of that as my undiagnosed ADHD and I wish I had understood it earlier to get ahead of it, but it's okay.  Hil at the time told me that she may have great grades and a good job, etc., but that she can't walk into a room and command attention or just become friends with everyone, and that skills come in all shapes and sizes and one isn't better than another.  I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL AGAIN.  Remember when my blogs used to be carefree and funny?  Me either.

After that, Lizzy and I walked all through the grounds of the Prague Castle and wound our way down the hill to the Charles Bridge, and stopped for another drink.  Then we got into a whole discussion about relationships and sexuality.  Later, when we were hanging out with her husband, Rob, I found myself saying over and over: "It's like what Lizzy and I were talking about earlier..." and he was like "how did you guys somehow talk about EVERYTHING today?!"  Females, man.  Eventually she went back to her place to shower and I checked into my Airbnb across the street.  Got SO EXHAUSTED and almost fell dead asleep while waiting for her before dinner, but rallied, and so glad I did.  We took the tram up the hill to a nice restaurant for dinner, then went to an Irish pub to watch the Liverpool/Barcelona game.  No one there remembered the epic call from 2010 World Cup that Ned and I quote all the time, but hey, we do and that's what counts. ("AND YOU COULD NOT WRITE... A STORY LIKE THIS.")  We got there at halftime and were ordering drinks at the bar when a guy sitting at the bar was a real dick and says to me and Lizzy, "just so you know, when the game's on again, you've gotta move.  I sat here on purpose for a good view, so make sure you move." Then turned to his partner and we could clearly hear him saying things like, "Fuckin' ridiculous they're standing right there during the game... I'm not going to let that happen... no fuckin' way" Um, a) it's half time. b) it's a bar and we're at the bar ordering drinks. c) WE KNOW. d) fuck off.  He kept talking about us after we moved and she and I briefly thought about starting shit but you know, foreign country and all that.  Luckily he was cheering for Liverpool and they got stomped in the second half to lose the game and we rejoiced. :)

Went to a weird, dark "Books" bar after that and we were almost the only people there.  There were condoms in the bathroom and I took one as a joke to show Rob and Lizzy, but now it's still in my bag and freaks me out every time I reach for my Chapstick.  We went back to their house afterwards and I kid you not, just watched Harry Styles videos.  Turns out they both love him, especially Rob, which is so rich to me.  He was like "this guy is just like coolness personified and he's so talented and he's weirdly attractive in kind of a feminine way but also masculine and he has such a nice voice and swagger...." you'd think I planted Rob to say this to me, but no.  We watched the entirety of his Carpool Karaoke as I told them all of my favorite parts ("I was back middle." "Why am I always Julia Roberts??" "I cry in like, a cool way.")  It's like when someone says to me, "you know, I'd love to know more about the meanings behind Taylor Swift's songs but I never learned, what are all of the albums about?" And I look around expecting that I'm being Punk'd.  Parted ways with them and thanked them for everything and told them I was very grateful for our summer camp relationship.  You know, the kind that is intensely strong, and very brief.  I may never see them again and yet we spent 15 hours straight together on Wednesday and I had one of the best days ever.  See you in another life, brotha.

A series of hiccups led to a very stressful morning on Thursday that I won't fully get into because my poor family already lived through it with me via WhatsApp... but it started with extreme random nausea, (the kind you have a serious internal talk with yourself about: "no.  you are okay.  take deep, slow breaths.  do not throw up here.  you are completely fine, this will pass.  breathe.  you're not sick.  this is just random.  you cannot throw up here.") and then I got on what was supposed to be a train from Prague to Nuremberg with a stop in Schwandorf, but there was a service interruption on the first leg and everyone knew but me.  Probably because everyone speaks Czech and I, ya know, do not.  BTW so far Czech is the least intuitive language I've ever come across.  I could read an entire book in it and wouldn't be able to give you even the slightest context, like you can with French/Spanish/German.  I know, romance languages and all that, but man I really underestimated how important it is to know some of the language when you're traveling through remote towns.  I notice everyone in Plzen has gotten off the train and I think "well that's weird, but maybe they're all local commuters."  A lady comes by and yells at me to get off, I say, "English?" She says, "NO.  Bus." and shoos me off.  In the panic I forget my suitcase from where I stored it - thank the heavens above, it was still there when I realized 15 minutes later and fought my way back on a closed train.  I have such PTSD today and can't fathom what would have happened if the train had left.  Imagine my suitcase just taking off on a train to the Czech countryside by itself.  Zero percent chance I get that back.  Work computer, my treasured leather jacket from Kathy that I swear I'd save in a fire, all of my toiletries and pills and prescriptions...ugh I can't even think about it.

No one spoke English except for a kind man at the info desk who spoke very little, and gave me directions ("directions" is a loose term here, I did a lot of critical thinking and problem solving to vaguely understand what I was supposed to be doing next) to take a bus in an hour that would take me to Stod, where I could then catch my train to Schwandorf and hopefully ultimately Nuremberg.  After a series of mishaps and incredible uncertainty, eventually all of that happened.  I walked into the hotel in Nuremberg and almost kissed the floor.  I had big plans to wake up early and explore, but alas, I'm embarrassed to admit that all I did in Nuremberg was buy some wine/chocolate/gummy bears and stay in all night and sleep late this morning.  Bodies need rest, y'all.  My audiobook author would tell me that my body is in recovery mode after releasing an unnatural amount of adrenaline and cortisol.  NEVERTHELESS SHE PERSISTED!

I'll be staying with rig friend Angie and her family in Paris, and seeing rig Aaron there too.  He messaged me yesterday and said, "so do you want to see museums and such? Or I can show you my favorite brasseries?" I said, "I've been to Paris, I'd just like to day drink honestly."  Luckily he is on board, shawoooooooo.  Oddly there's no WiFi on this train like they said there would be, but it's not that bad because it's so smooth and comfortable and I still have my audiobook.  Will post this blog sometime later when the WiFi shows up.  Cross your fingers that I get the romantic countryside train ride I pined for.  And happy weekend!!!

[devoverest]

Getting to know me: a novel

@ignisgalaxia @imaginationdrift @bizships @lodessa and @streepmulgrew  have all tagged me for this, and I just can't take the peer pressure any longer. However, I'm so long-winded everyone will surely be very sorry that you five ever asked me. I will try very hard to put most of this below a "read more" link, but my mobile app doesn't play nicely with that feature any longer, so I truly deeply and sincerely apologize if yours doesn't either and you get a callus scrolling past all of what follows on your way to the gifsets you're on Tumblr to enjoy.

1. Relationship status: married -- legally and everything. It was the mid-'90s. I was considering having a religious ceremony but forgoing the state-recognized marriage license part, in solidarity with same-sex couples who at the time and for many years afterward were denied that privilege. However, my father absolutely put his foot down (something he almost never did with me, especially in my young adulthood) and insisted on the marriage license. He supported marriage equality, but he was thinking of my economic security in case our marriage didn't last. He was right to do, as I ended up taking many years out of the paid workforce to raise children, which I hadn't planned on doing when I decided to marry.

In case Tumblr is stupid, right here is where I’ve inserted a “read more” link as I’m writing this post. I tried. 

2. Lipstick or chapstick: Usually neither. Actually, never literal Chapstick because that stuff is made out of petroleum and isn't good for your skin. I learned that when I was playing a lot of flute in high school and college and had to take extra special care of my lips to play well. If the weather gets really cold and dry, which it rarely does where I live, and if I can hang on to any of the half-dozen tubes I buy every year but which invariably get swiped and then lost by family members, I use a Burt's Bees lip balm. I seem to have a knack for finding them barely-used in the bottom of my purse during the warm months and then never having one at hand when I actually need it. I think I own one lip pencil currently and I'll sometimes use that to outline my lips when I'm doing some sort of special-event public speaking kinda gig but I don't wear any make-up normally. My husband claims that I knew full well it was a date the first time we got together socially because I wore make-up. I have never admitted to him that he is correct, but he is.

3. Three favorite foods: Too many to narrow down to just three. I enjoy and appreciate a wide range of foods. Things I enjoy and appreciate perhaps a tad more frequently than I ought to in the strictest interests of nutrition are chocolate in almost any form, ice cream (especially that of the chocolate persuasion and most especially any form of peanut-butter/chocolate), and Starburst brand jellybeans, which my son and I share somewhat ritualistically most evenings after dinner (which is somehow not the same thing as for dessert.) Why yes, I do have a sweet tooth -- why do you ask?

4. Song stuck in your head: Currently "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive (I had to google that.) I don't know why but suspect it was on TV this evening, which makes me fear that it may be the campaign song for some politician I would never vote for. Which reminds me -- US citizens, please double-check that you are registered to vote and make a plan for voting in the upcoming midterms! This will probably the most important election of your entire lifetime, past or future, no matter what your age, and in many races in many states, voter turnout will be the single deciding factor in who controls the future of our country for a very long time to come. Please vote!

5. Last movie you watched: "Crazy Rich Asians," with my husband, unwisely just two days after I had minor (but surprisingly butt-kicking) surgery. We went to the first matinee showing on a Saturday and actually arrived at the theater before it even opened, a sure sign of mature middle age if I've ever heard of one. We both loved the film -- it was glitzy, funny, extremely well-written and -acted, got all the Chinese cultural details right, offered caricatures but no stereotypes, was very female-centric and multi-generational, and of course starred the exquisite and inimitable Michelle Yeoh who also plays Philippa Georgiou on Star Trek: Discovery. Laughed until my belly hurt (literally, sadly) and then went home and slept the rest of the day.

6. Top three shows: This will sound really strange for someone who is on Tumblr because of TV show fandom, but I don't watch TV. I grew up with Star Trek TOS reruns and movies, then TNG in college & grad school, then Voyager until extended stays abroad made it impossible to keep up with (back in the days before streaming and VPNs.) I reconnected with Star Trek in summer 2017 when I was home alone for six weeks and binged all of Voyager and then started digging up fanfic for all the reasons all the Voyager fans turn to fic -- to fix what the show's writers mutilated -- and now here I am, but I don't watch TV, and when I do it's the nightly news or whatever sports my husband is watching and then it's just because I feel like sitting in the same room with my husband at that particular time. The one exception to this fact about me is that I did watch Star Trek: Discovery as it was being released last year, and even got my teenager into it. (He is a Netflix addict but never watched any Star Trek anything before that. I don't know where I went wrong with this child.)

7. Books I'm currently reading: Eternal Tide by Kirsten Beyer because @voyager-book-club; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (audiobook but I'm counting it); Five Ways to Forgiveness by Ursula K. LeGuin, Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations by Margaret Benefiel; Pachinko by Min Jin Lee; and Selecting and Using Breastfeeding Tools: Improving Care and Outcomes by Catherine Watson Genna. Except that the last three books on the list are ones I have at hand and keep wanting to read but haven't so much as opened yet. But including them gives you a more complete sense of my interests.

8. Last thing I googled: "you ain't seen nothing yet lyrics" because #4 above. Before that, "instant pot beef stew recipe." No need to look further back in my search history (she said during a break from writing smut.) *whistles innocently*

9. Time: 10:30pm as I write this. No idea when I'll post it or when you'll read it. This seems like a silly question to include for a post of this nature.

10. Dream trip: India. But I've also never crossed the equator and really feel I should someday, so who knows, maybe I'll find a way to drop in on all the Australian friends I've made in Voyager fandom. Now wouldn't that be lovely?

11. Anything you want: Anyone who knows me in real life (and anyone hanging around the Voyager Book Club discord server) knows I never shut up about breastfeeding support and advocacy. But I always try to make it clear that I'm not preaching at parents about how they should feed their babies; rather, I'm working to help parents who want to breastfeed overcome any challenges they encounter. I save my preaching for the folks involved with policy and institutional barriers to breastfeeding, and when it comes to the unethical and demonstrably harmful advertising practices of the infant formula industry, my preaching leans hard toward the hellfire and damnation variety because that is some truly evil shit, folks -- the advertising practices, not the formula milk itself; let's be very, very clear about that.

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to get to know better.

Here I shall echo @imaginationdrift: "(Really?! That sounds like a number chosen by an extroverted maven.) / Ok, here goes. / FEEL FREE TO: never complete this. I won’t be disappointed, promise." Also, apologies to those who have already responded -- feel even freer to ignore. 

@garrulus  @rikerssexblouse  @klugtiger  @ussjellyfish  @kate-coleman-writes  @lameraextranjera  @armitagetrekkie  @warp6  @admiralkatcornwellfan @zjofierose  @writtenndust @trekkiefeminist @quirkette100 @nerdfishgirl @hoidn

[thetalentedkurthummel]

Kurt Hummel Reddit AMA

The people on Reddit have spoken and Kurt Hummel - fashion designer, Broadway star and now father, has agreed to a Q&A on Reddit, these are the questions he has answered.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

This question has changed through the years depending on my current situation. But I guess right now it is bringing up my family with my husband. Serena, my daughter is very precious to me and ten years ago - even five years ago I thought this would never happen to someone like me.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Again this has changed over the years, but at this moment in time perfect happiness is having my daughter sleeping in a cot near me and snuggling up with my husband. Which currently is a rare thing as he’s a broadway performer.

What is your current state of mind?

To be honest my mind never rests and is always thinking of new ideas that could end up as pieces of clothing. Though it can get tired reguarly because my daughter sometimes wakes up in the night. I guess it is happy too because of my current situation. It’s all over the place to be honest.

What is your favorite occupation?

My favoutie occupation is one I have now. I work for myself and so I don’t have to answer to anyone else unless it is certain higher ups in the fashion industry that would like a sample of my work to show somewhere. There is less stress on me.

What is your most treasured possession?

It is something I have never worn because it is precious to me, but there is a special bracelet in my bedroom that used to belong to my mother who died when I was young. My dad kept it so he could pass it on to me when I was old enough and when he died a few years ago, it was in his will. So it holds lots of memories and weirdly it even smells like her still.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

That will have to be my husband. We met when we were in school and I was having a tough time with bullying and figuring everything out with myself. He was there to guide me and give me the confidence I needed for what I wanted to do in life.

What is your favorite journey?

My favourite journey is what life throws at you everyday. Yes there are challenges but you grow stronger and know more because of it. You may think that you are not strong and can’t handle something (like another day in school), but you can handle it. I did and I was bullied and depressed until I found the light.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I have a few characteristics, but I guess it is my confidence and fashion style. I don’t let anyone break me down anymore. I also don’t let the gender norms mess with what I want to wear. I show in both male and female parts of the store and have even worn skirts out in public (over trousers of course).

When and where were you the happiest?

I can think of two occasions that stand out. When I got married to my husband and when Serena came into the world. We used two friends to help...make Serena I guess - one was the doner and one carried her. The first times I set my eyes on her my eyes lit up and I couldn’t stop grinning.

What is it that you most dislike?

I dislike ignorance and people who don’t try to educate themselves when they are faced with something new that they are unsure about. There is too much ignorance in the world. All you need is to go to Google and read facts about things rather than fiction.

What is your greatest fear?

I fear people I love dying. It has already happened to my parents and what I thought was my brother (thankfully he came back to me). So to think my daughter may go before me is something I never want.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I am now in a position thanks to moving up through the industry where I can spend more than most. But thinking about it, not including where I live now with my husband - it would probably be a piece of jewellery which I would have worn on a suit for something. That is my weakness.

Which living person do you most despise?

Ten plus years ago at school I would be saying I despise many different people. But now I think back and feel it was just anger because nobody at my school was doing anything. Some of these people who I said I hated i’ve since got in contact with and they have grown up and matured. Even apologised. My new way of dealing with people is to not despise someone, but to give sympathy and walk away and hope one day they can change. Despising or even hating someone takes too much energy.

What is your greatest regret?

I try not to live with regrets anymore and the things that I do regret I am going to try and do something in the future so that it won’t be a regret anymore. The one I can’t really fix is being there more for my father, but it’s something I am working on.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love the talent of being to do things more quickly and in a way where it is perfect. As a creator of fashion and jewellery, certain things take time and patience and it can cause clients to be fussy and impatient. So I would just love to just quicken up the process and be happy with the end product.

Where would you like to live?

I already live in New York which is where i’ve always dreamed of living because of the fashion and Broadway. However if my husband would be willing and we could afford it then would love to buy a place in central Paris where you could see the Eiffel Tower from your window.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing someone you love. I have dealt with this at least three times in my life where I felt that I may not be able to go on without them or at least unsure what I am to do without them there. With both my parents and with my brother (who we now know is alive). However grief

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

While I am bisexual I am more attracted to men. However when it comes to women I do like confidence and intelligence. If I was single and looking a woman would need to know how to hold a conversation with me so I won’t get bored. A bit eccentricity would be good as well.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

The same thing that I see in a women to be honest. Confidence, ability to keep me smiling if I am down, have a good conversation, stylish if possible and throw in some eccentricity. Just look at Blaine, he is my ideal match.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I can be too judgemental when it comes to certain things whether it be fashion choices or their opinion on the LGBTQ+ community. It is something i’ve worked on over the years though, as I now know you need to be patient as not everyone is as educated. 

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I’ve said it above really, but ignorance and forcing their religion on to you when you may not be interested. Like I get praying may work for you, but it has not worked for me. I have been in a church when my friend has invited me and I felt no attachment - spiritual or otherwise. Just a sense of a nice community.

What do you most value in your friends?

I need friends who can be trusted. When you are in the entertainment, fashion industry or even just in the public eye, it is a common place for fake friends to appear. They only want to be with you so they can become popular or if you tell them a secret - they will then sell it to a magazine for a quick buck. It is why I keep people who i’ve not known for a long a bit further back in my circle compared to those i’ve known a long time.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

When I look back at fictional or even real life people from books, it always tends to be women. There is of course Amy from Little Women who I liked because she always wanted the best things and to be in society. She also loved music and art which I do too.

I can’t forget JK Rowling because her books made me get lost in the world of magic when I had trouble at school.

Whose are your heroes in real life?

Before my dad died it was him and to be honest he still is my hero. My dad gave me wise words and advice that I still live by today. I may think i’m not being a good father, but then in the back of my head his voice appears and I think back to something he said maybe ten years ago.

Which living person do you most admire?

Can I say my husband? Other than him I would have to say Tom Ford as his suits (especially his Spring 2016 collection) are amazing.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Hmm there are lots of things that are overrated but I would have to say  intelligence? I mean there is so much pressure on people to have good grates but not everyone is capable of getting those grads for a variety of reasons. I know people who have had panic attacks because of it.

Yes I like people with intelligence, but i’m talking about those who have a smart work ethnic, they are good with money, they are smart when making decisions...I could go on.

On what occasions do you lie?

I have to tell white lies often because I am in an industry where if you keep things secret, the more hype it will get. Also people may steal your concepts.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Oh my God“, “What time are you coming home?“, “are you ok?“ “oh God she is awake“.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn’t change anything because despite my flaws, it has made me who I am today.

What are your favorite names?

There are so many, but it includes Jada, Emily, Theo, Elizabeth (my mother’s name), Alexis, Simon, Alexander. I may have just given hints as to what I want to name my future children.

How would you like to die?

Who wants to die? Preferably when I am over eighty and surrounded by family. However heart disease and cancer run in my family so i’ll be lucky.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

Resolute desk of the Oval Office because I bet that thing has a lot of memories and secrets you could only hear if you were president.

What is your motto?

"Fashion has no gender.”

[salmagundimagazine]

DOWNTON ABBEY: ANGLOPHILIA IS EMBARRASSING by Katherine Fusco

from Salmagundi, Summer 2017 [The TV Issue]

A little past the show’s midway point, I began having the same conversation with all my friends about Downton Abbey.

“Are you still watching it?”

“Ugh. No, we got stuck in the rape plot.”

Finishing the show’s final seasons required a committed fortitude.

Sitting next to my husband on the couch, I reached for some popcorn.

“Are we still in the rape plot?”

“Mmm, I think it’s a murder plot now,” he corrected me.

The good maid Anna’s rape and its half-lives ended the show’s appeal for many.

It’s not that we’re so opposed to watching brutality on a weeknight. I’ve eaten many a taco salad while watching the women of Game of Thrones bent over the furniture; I’ve seen men shivved while coaxing the baby to nurse; and once, we watched a body dissolved in a bathtub while drinking boxed wine.

We watchers of quality television, we can stomach a rape.

And yet, Anna’s rape and the show’s many returns to the event throughout the later seasons elicit something ugly: “Why can’t they drop that?” “I’m so sick of the rape plot.”

The most justifiable version of our aversion to the rape is that we see the creators of Downton, along with the producers of the other, more violent television we consume, treating rape as a mere plot device.

And yet, I suspect it’s something else. My hunch is that Anna’s rape by a rakish footman felt like a betrayal to American viewers who had grown accustomed to the show’s other pleasures. Sometimes despite ourselves.

Ten or twenty years ago, I would not have watched Downton Abbey. I would have distanced myself from those who did.

On a recent visit to a grad school friend, I caught a flicker of that old feeling. She’d gotten herself on a mailing list that must have been taken from PBS or NPR donors, or the multitude of New Yorker subscribers, with issues perilously towered between toilet and sink. Maybe the targets were literature teachers like us.

The catalog sold Far Side “School for the Gifted” sweatshirts alongside mugs with the phrase “She who must be obeyed” lettering their shiny bellies. The kind of tchotchkes you might buy for your AB/Fab-watching mother for Christmas when you are a teenager and you don’t care to know anything very specific about your parents’ wants and desires. Have a Starry Nights umbrella; have a magnet of The David in a Hawaiian shirt.

My friend and I, too old, responsible, and inclined to acid reflux to drink and smoke as we did in school, lie on her living room floor, eating takeout, sipping beer, and playing a game wherein we have to pick one item from each of the catalogue’s embarrassing pages that we would be willing to own. Not surprisingly, amidst products both smugly literate and earnestly aspirational, a large Downton Abbey spread features a large cornucopia of goods we agree are the worst: lace-edged nightgowns, plated mirrors and hairbrushes, imitation jewelry, and DVD box sets detailing life in manor houses. “These are so horrible,” we whisper, “they aren’t even funny.”

The consumer of these Downton baubles, the glittering imitation brooches—she is everything I tried not to be as a young woman. When you are a girl and a bookworm, choices can feel limited.

Indeed, I still feel the limited possibilities for female identification whenever I watch a television show on which more than one woman appears. On the one hand, shows that pass the Bechdel test by presenting women with interests — as opposed to the singular “hot girl” amongst the boys — seem admirable, but I still feel the pressure of the typological when presented with a range of women: Are you a Carrie or a Samantha, a Marnie or a Shoshanna, a Lady Mary or, God forbid, a Lady Edith?

As a bookish girl, seeking others like me—readers of a serious sort—I was dismayed by the stereotype that came into focus: She loved kittens, wore dowdy pastels, ran to the mousy, would never be cool, never seem sexy or edgy. She was the girl who thought it would be fun to go to high tea. In my mind, there was one source and one icon to blame for the image of the female reader that so haunted me: England, and Jane Austen’s England in particular.

I became a student of American literature; like my country, I was too young and without enough of a sense of history to have paid much attention to either the cool or the ugly roughness that both had deep roots in England, or the pervasive and embarrassing middle-classness that was part of being an American. Instead, England remained to me the dreamland of girls who would never date.

My problem with England was a part of the sexually-anxious narcissism that accompanied my teens and twenties, so desperate was I to roll with the boys, to drink with the boys, and, once a literature major, to read with the boys: whether Palahniuk’s Fight Club, which was inspiring theme nights at the alternative frat—all whisky, Marlboro reds, and sloppy, scrambling boxing—, the strange macho sexuality of Miller’s Tropic of Cancer, or David Foster Wallace’s threatening challenge to all my would-be novelist friends. I remember people whispering intensely about Burroughs. Recently, novelist Claire Vaye Watkins has written about pandering to male writers through the tough, heartless, and heartbreaking prose of her short story collection. I see this period of my reading similarly, going shot-for-shot with the boys. But I wanted to be cool. American, edgy and cool.

This American cool continues, I think, in our recent prestige television, which offers bad boys you want to root for, the likes of Tony Soprano, Don Draper, and Walter White.

I still sometimes visit with American bad boys; I write about and teach the cruel works of Nathanael West, Fitzgerald’s more cynical friend. But as I’ve aged, I find that I have less patience for them. They can be a fling, but not my constant companions. Especially when the little things of my life seem hard and the big things of the world seem even harder, I want to return again to the coziness that was my youthful idea of England. And maybe this is true of the millions of other Americans who turned off HBO and tuned in to public television; after trying so hard to be crass and edgy, perhaps we do want to be that kind of girl after all.

What is it that we Americans want from the English? We want them to be vaguely like us, but better: we see them as politer and fancier, but we also like to think we’re more democratic, not so snotty. We also want not to have to know too much about the differences. Tea and knights, yes. Elaborate details about entailment, no, as the differences between the PBS and BBC explanations of the family’s wealth indicate.

We Americans see England as fundamentally belonging to the past, and thus soft and rosy. When my husband’s friend from London visited us in Nashville, the debutants were no match for him, so taken were they by his accent. The cost for him came in the form of bewildering conversations about jousting and whether “y’all have gyms there” and the terrible imitations into which the women slipped when the bourbon was flowing.

My sister’s English accent is also bad, somewhere between Foghorn Leghorn and Eliza Doolittle. It is also identical to the accent she tried when I moved to Nashville. I remember an early phone call home during which she filled me in on the day’s business. She’d been out shopping: “I went to Target; wait, do you have Target there?” Her view of the South is not unlike the debutant’s view of England, a place distant spatially and perhaps temporally as well. My current students in Mountain West feel similarly; they explain to me that they could never go to the South because they are Mexican. Meanwhile, my Anglo students refer to the rapidly gentrifying Hispanic neighborhood in town as “sketchy,” “the ghetto.”

My sister’s bad accent isn’t unique. We all have them. In a theater class at my arts magnet high school we memorized a little poem to practice the two relevant English accents: high-class and Cockney.  A room of fifteen-year-olds, we chanted together, “If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot were taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot should hoot and toot at the tutor?”

Not high-class, working-class, or English, we middle-class white American children—progeny of good liberal parents committed to public school education, if not neighborhood schools—happily swallowed our “Hs” and gulped out the bit of nonsense, so far from our knowing as to be scrubbed clean of racism’s taint. With our sense of Englishness as accent, and feelings of Africa and Europe as far in time and space, the little rhyme seemed to have nothing to do with our sense of racism as a real and pressing American problem.  

The vagueness of Anglophilia is, I think, at least part of why the series’ second half felt like such a betrayal. Belonging too much to the world of problems Americans consider “the real,” the rape of Anna left a bitter taste that lingered, curdling our feelings about the series.

With the exception of that troublesome rape, Downton has offered the coziness that is the American idea of Englishness, the one I once rejected but now seek. As a new mother, I gaze longingly at the teas in the library during which the nanny parades by babies in sailor suits and then sweeps them neatly away, leaving their parents to drink and chat. My Anglophilia, you see, is not just about class as well as cozyness—the upper-class comfort and self-assuredness towards which we in the American middle class doggedly strain.

My embarrassment at retaining an idiot Anglophilia is somewhat assuaged by the knowledge that my American ancestors have been similarly foolish and aspirational in their views. In her book Anglophilia: Deference, Devotion, and Antebellum America, scholar Eliza Tamarkin reminds us that even way back when, in what my students would call the olden days, “Anglophilia [was] about paying respects to the symbolic value of England.” Among the more bizarre aspects of antebellum Anglophilia was the abolitionist argument that the English had done away with slavery because it didn’t fit with their overwhelming politeness. Owning people simply wasn’t seemly.

Politeness and impropriety are similarly behavioral big tents in Downton, covering all manner of progressive and regressive attitudes. Rapes, murders, blackmailing, and defections aside, on Downton, breaking with good manners is the clearest marker that a character is a baddie.

In the fifth season alone impoliteness covers, among other social failings, class snobbery (the aristocratic Merton boys), a genocidal rising power (Herr Hitler and his brown shirts, who will be revealed as the killers of Edith’s Michael, described in the show as beer hall unruliness), strident socialism (Miss Bunting), being a grouchy sad sack (Princess Kuragin), abuse of servants (Lord Sinderby), and anti-Semitism (Lady Flintshire, the Mertons again—naughty boys, those). Interestingly, the Dowager’s old flame Prince Kuragin also appears guilty of anti-Semitism and proximity to the genocidal murder of the pogroms when he bursts out at cousin Rose’s Jewish love interest, “you’re no Russian;” however, the show doesn’t present the outburst as something to hold against the man, perhaps because the transgression occurs in a soup kitchen, rather than a drawing room or library.

To be a hero, then, is to make others feel comfortable, to ease their embarrassment and smooth the way. A phrase I’ve learned to love from the show, “shall we go through?,” often comes from the wonderful Cora, the American matriarch committed to living lightly and lovingly, for whom guiding family and guests politely from potentially awkward conversation to pleasantly formal dining and drinking appears a life’s work.

“Shall we go through?” The show goes through with amazing rapidity, throwing forward plot twist after plot twist, the bulk of which are resolved neatly by banishing a rude interloper from the great house, or easing over unpleasantness, as when Cousin Rose pretends that her father-in-law’s mistress is an old friend, thus explaining away the uninvited guest. When the housekeeper Mrs. Hughes confesses to Mr. Carson that she has no money to retire with him because she’s been paying for her mentally disabled sister’s institutionalization, she worries, “Oh no, now I’ve embarrassed you.”

Coming from a nation with only loosely codified manners—which we occasionally boast of and are only occasionally shamed by—I find myself fascinated by a world in which all errors, all crises, all sins might be so beautifully papered over. Or, to put it otherwise, I long for a world in which I’ve been taught to behave beautifully and this beautiful behavior means that I am good.

This, too, as our own new rich fill TV screens: whether real housewives, basketball WAGs, or Kardashians, the idea of England as cozy past when people were polite stands as contrast. As does Kate Middleton, whose big shiny teeth and big shiny hair and tiny formal hats and tiny, tidy pregnancies make her a simulacrum of a princess.  So too, The Great British Baking Show, which introduced Americans to a world of reality television in which no one declares “I’m not here to make friends” and the pastries are inscrutable. “Pudding,” “biscuit,” and “pie” take on strange new meanings.

The Anglophile’s imaginary England is a kind of mirror world. Like a grandfather—a relative in whom we see resemblance, but who clearly hails from another time. We feel affectionate toward him and maybe a little superior. Watching Downton, it’s lovely to see a plot in which the patriarch gets drunk, and rather than starting a brawl or bedding a scullery maid, he begins an awkward toast—a potential embarrassment that quick-witted chauffeur-turned-son-in-law Tom covers over by leading the household in rounds of “for he’s a jolly good fellow.” And the “good” characters’ foibles are so soft that it’s easy to feel a little wiser than those Granthams while also envying their outdated lifestyle.

A different program might show the wealthier classes’ predation upon the poor, but the violence within Downton Abbey remains reassuringly within class. And though we all hate the rape plot, what a relief that the storyline remains snugly downstairs. It allows the show’s commitment to the idea of noblesse oblige to remain an inviting temptation, leading to imaginings of how lovely we might behave if only we had a bit of nobility to be obliging with. Like Lady Sybil taking the red-haired maid under her wing. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a maid? Of course, one must not imagine being the maid.

With so much expansive politeness and correctness forming our idea of the English—“Keep Calm and Carry On!”—it’s surprising to hear missives from the real Britain, the one that exists in the now with us. The interviews during the Brexit vote give a nasty shock, as even good old England takes its place in a Europe increasingly Islamophobic and nativist. Grandfather has done worse than slip up and use the out of date “colored”—he’s said something truly awful and not cozy at all.  

This is not how we like to think of our grandfathers. It’s not why we Americans turn our faces to gaze across the Atlantic. Instead, we wish to see the slightly fusty but well-meaning and well-mannered behavior of the Dowager Countess and Lord Grantham. Though they miss the old days (the first season features the Dowager cringing away from electric light), they are adaptable. Lord Grantham admits the nature of warfare has changed and nods to the feelings of his cook Mrs. Patmore, making a special monument off the beaten track for her nephew who was executed for defecting during the war.

I recently watched a bit of Manor House, a reality show in which modern people are cast as members of a grand Edwardian home. Some become the Lords and Ladies of the house; the tall and good-looking young man becomes First Footman, and the unlucky become scullery maids. The effects of a rigid upstairs-downstairs class system set in with breathtaking speed. After the initial meeting between the family and the staff, one of the maids confesses to the camera that though she knows her master and mistress are just normal twenty-first century people like herself, she hates them. In contrast, the mistress relates how lovely it is to be cared for; “it’s almost like I’ve slipped into childhood again,” she coos.

Such animosity between staff and family receives little screen time on Downton. Generally, class resentment is nothing but a misunderstanding, as when kitchen maid Daisy, who has been educated just to the point of dissatisfaction, misinterprets the characteristically vague kindness of Lady Grantham and tries to force a position for her tenant farmer father-in-law on the estate.  

Instead, class hostility appears in the mouths of malefactors such as ladies’ maid O’Brien, a villain marked by truly terrible hair, or the blackmailing hotel maid who threatens Lady Mary and Lord Grantham with the prediction that her kind are coming up in the world. These instances of class outrage both come from maids and are directed at the eldest daughter Lady Mary for her sexual peccadillos, whether the ill-fated night with the exotic Mr. Pamook of the weak heart or her trial marriage hotel weekend with Tony Gillingham. Meantime, the matter of hygiene in manor houses’ downstairs extend to moral uprightness, to which the series nods, occasionally emphasizing the separate men’s and women’s quarters, but not to the near-prurient degree with which the sexual activity of maids would have been scrutinized, with the housekeeper examining their sanitary belts for evidence that the staff was staying chaste and not getting in the family way.

What comfort, then, in Downton’s somewhat relaxed morality. “We’re all becoming so modern!,” is a constant refrain. Lord Grantham, bless his ulcerous Lordship—what won’t he accept under the name of being a good host?  He oversees one daughter’s marriage to a chauffeur, one daughter’s love child entering the household, and one daughter’s blackmail for her sexual intrepidness---not to mention his gay footman and multiply–murder-accused valet Mr. Bates.  Downton is what Americans want from their betters, it’s what we see in the photographs of celebrities shopping at Trader Joes, playing on the beach with their children—Stars! They’re Just Like Us!! They are better looking, go on better vacations, and rich, but they use detergent!!! With Downton, we peek in on the nobility and see they make mistakes! Like us!

And I must admit, the more tired I am; the more panicked I feel as I forget to put sunscreen on the baby or to provide the daycare enough steamed finger foods diced into ¼ inch pieces; the more I long for time to work rather than time to spend with my husband and child; or the more I wish to spend time at home and quit my job, filled as it is with student emails and meetings; the more, stupidly and against what I know, I hunger for Downton.

The light touch of the series which makes it all come out right in the end—the deaths, the war, the murders, and yes, even the rape—it’s a warm blanket that feels wholesome even when that niggling voice reminds me of its near offensive flimsiness. It’s best not to think too seriously about the show. One is bound to have an unpleasant realization, like learning that eating bran muffins is just having unfrosted cupcakes for breakfast.  

I recently heard the women of Another Round explain that only white people enjoy the “what past decade would you have rather lived in?” hypothetical. I get what they’re saying—and this is also Downton’s frivolous genius. Polite, like the Abbey’s denizens, the show doesn’t remind us of the footmen’s and maids’ more unpleasant tasks—the emptying of chamber pots, the pulling threads of hair from brushes to build elaborate false pieces—or that a hallboy gets his name because he has no room, and in fact sleeps in the hall. We don’t miss this granular detail because it’s not Daisy or Mrs. Patmore, or even good Anna, with whom the show means us to feel a likeness. We who play the game of transporting ourselves backwards through time don’t make that journey to light the morning fires for the big house or to do other people’s dishes. No, as we traverse the decades, running them backward, it’s the three lovely sisters we imagine as our kin and precursors.

Now I am mistress of my own house. (Lord Grantham, I too have a sweet old dog and I am sorry about Isis.) And I am, though I am loathe to write the phrase, its debunking as much a cliché now as its invocation, “having it all.” And my response to middle class life, motherhood, work, homeownership, marriage, is a low level panic I feel running up my spine, a fit on the verge of spilling out that is my constant companion, babyish and humiliating: But who is going to take care of meee?

And so, like many others of the American middle class, I fantasize about Downton. Together, America and I are over being cool and uncomfortable. We want to be cozy and rich. We want to turn on our TVs, gaze upon all that polished brass, and not think too hard about who is doing the polishing.

[optimisticpoetrypost-blog]

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I got in a minor accident I'm 17 my dad has insurance but I'm not under that insurance the cop showed up and just told me I had court there was no injuries what am I facing ? My car got chipped the other car was only paint scratches

Is there such a thing as a joint life insurance plan?

Just wondering if there is such a thing that would cover my spouse and I on one policy. For ex. 20 or 30 year policy for around $150,000.00 where either myself or spouse would ride the policy.""

How much would insurance be for an under 21 female in NYS?

I've been trying to figure out how much money I would pay for auto insurance before I get a car, but I can't get any quotes without a car. I am 19, a female, and living in New York State. Is there anyone that would mind sharing how much they pay, what insurance company they have, and how old they are? I would really appreciate it.""

Do you have to insure a vehicle that's not driven?

I own a Jeep that sits in front of my house (its not driven). Do I have to insure this vehicle?

Are there any schools out there that offer their teachers affordable family insurance?

My husband is a full-time teacher. I work part-time and am a grad. student. He has great insurance for himself, but I have to pay for my own separately. To add me to his plan would cost us $650.00 a month (adding 1 to 9 people is one lump sum, $650). I can barely afford what I pay on my own ($160+) and then there's the deductible... (basically my insurance doesn't end up paying for anything... it all comes out of my pocket). I guess I just always assumed that if a person had a good full-time job that family insurance would be included or affordable... It's not even an option. Seriously, who can afford $650 a month and on a teacher's salary? Is there any school out there that has a better insurance plan? We love where we are, but we can't afford to live. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?""

Is it really worth it to get Full coverage insurance on a vehicle more than 10- 15 years old?

Is it really worth it to get Full coverage insurance on a vehicle more than 10- 15 years old?

Do I need a consent to settle by my own auto insurance company?

The guy who hit me does not have an ample amount of insurance to cover my injuries. They are offering me the policy limits to settle. My own uninsured or uninsured motorist has been given enough documentation to know that my additional insurance will come into play. I have filed suit against the guy and his insurance company, but do I need a letter of consent to settle with them from my own insurance company to make sure that my uninsured motorist coverage will still be available to me. I really think it is criminal for any insurance company or state to make the limits on auto insurance so low, when the average cost of an auto accident is higher than the minimum coverages that they allow drivers to driver under. Also, there are many attorneys that wont even look at taking a case unless the limits are much higher than state minimum, because they can make considerably more on those who are very well insured. My own insurance company is treating my like I am retarded, and I was until I started reading all the insurance laws and bought a very fine civil litigation book for 4 dollars, best investment I ever made. But I am no Pro Se expert, my hat is tipped to you attorneys and insurance adjusters. What a stressful job you have and so many laws to abide by and to follow. I can only get better the more I read the more I know. Thanks for your time.""

""Car accident, other insurance wont pay my car hire bills, my insurance wants me to take driver to small claims?""

The car hire bill the other side won't pay is four thousand pounds. My insurance were very slow deciding car was a write-off, so I had the hire car for nearly a month. They want ...show more""

How much would full coverage insurance cost?

I want to get a car loan to buy this 2004 Hyundai Tiburon. I'm 18, I've been in one accident. Around how much a month?""

""Male, 17, Car insurance, Help?

Male 17 insurance group 1 car '4youngdrivers' quote me 6200 Help? Have a nice day...

Where can i get tip for cheap auto insurance?

Where can i get tip for cheap auto insurance?

""Why is it wrong to require people to have auto insurance, but not health insurance?""

And, for that matter, wouldn't we pay less for auto insurance if the government provided it at cost as a single payer, squeezing out all the profits and returning the savings back to you?""

How much (about) would insurance cost for a Lamborghini Gallardo (at 16 yrs old)?

How much (about) would insurance cost for a Lamborghini Gallardo (at 16 yrs old)?

First car?? very cheap budget wear and what should i be looking to purchase?

ok im in uk got a budget of around 500 max im 17 so insurance will be bowt 1k third party what ever car i get i need simple ideas on a how to get a small cheap first car if you know anything about insurance then i want it cheap and yes i am short of cash as u may have gatherd also what good sound systems should i look to get once ive paid for everything thats what ill be saving for next....

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

What states do not require you to have auto insurance??????

What states is it not mandatory to have auto insurance in order to register and drive your car? I know that it is absolutely mandatory to have insurance if your financing your car or truck reguardless.

Were we can apply and buy liability insurance?

We are managing 300 units condominium.What approximately liability insurance will cost?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

Self employed health insurance?

What is the meaning of self employed health insurance

""I am looking for car insurance in uk,can you recommend one?""

Every year,my insurance goes up even with 5 years no claim and same car. Why? It should have been cheaper surely, I heard of quidco,is it worth the hassle?""

Whats a good price for auto insurance?

I'm a part-time employee that makes about 210-250$ a week. I drive about 50 mi. 4-5 days a week. I am trying to pay for tuition (3000 a quarter) and a cell phone bill as well (100 a month). I just want a rough estimate on what I should need. When I talk to a representative I feel like he wants to get the most out of me. When I try to pick out a quote myself, I tend to think of the worst cast scenario and opt for the better plans. My plans always come-out to be 220 a month. Is that high or just right? I just need a little guidance by my peers or by older folks that have been down this road before. Thank you very much.""

Car insurance too expensive. Help. Urgent?

So basically. Im an 18 year old male. I passed my driving test in june 2013. My car insurance is too high. Now normally i wouldnt care but the reason i am asking this question is because. Where i live the nearest shop is 30 mins away walking. My family need someone to do the shopping as we cannot keep going back and forth everyday. We basically starve some days as sufficient food is too heavy to carry. My father is very sick and has been for 2 years. Because the hospital is so far away he barely is able to go to his appointments. And finally i use the train to get to my university which im fine with but i get bullied everyday physically on the train. I am too scared to report this to anyone. Now im not someone who would mess about in my car or speed etc. I am a very safe driver. My cheapest quote was on a Daewoo Matiz and the quote was 6000!! So i cleary cannot afford that. I have looked into the black box scheme but most insurers wont provide that service in my area. So my question is does anyone know of any insurance companies who do specialise in giving cheaper quotes. Or any cars that tend to be cheaper to insure. Or even any tricks that may help bring down the price. Please dont answer with stuff like you dont need a car or get a black box. I am litterally fed up and feel like a failure. I dont know what to do. I even slit my wrists now as it is toi much to bare. Also i cant go one anyones insurance as i dont have anyone to ask and my dad cant drive due to his illnes

What is the insurance expense on average per month to insurance an auto repair shop?

I'm trying to find information on approximately how much insurance costs for an auto repair shop. Specifically this shop will have one full time mechanic and one customer service representative. Two people, basically how much will it cost to insure (per month) this small auto repair business. The minimum liability required by law and between $25,000-50,000 to cover theft/fire/flood/etc.""

Auto Insurance cost of 2012 infiniti Fx35?

I'm wondering how much is average auto Insurance cost of 2012 infiniti Fx35? Specially in Dallas, TX (zip 75038) - I have good driving history & credit; I'm considering that suv but before making move just want to make sure total cost factor!""

Idea as to how much full coverage car insurance would be for a 17 yo. Just a ballpark figure. Thanks.?

Idea as to how much full coverage car insurance would be for a 17 yo. Just a ballpark figure. Thanks.?

Where can i find a school to take classes for insurance health and life in missouri?

i wanna know if theres a school im not asking about online courses im asking about actualy class i can attend and also for property and casualty also. thanks

Want an awd turbo car with low insurance?

Im looking for an awd turboed car that has low insurance. Evos and sti insurance is 400 a month. I don't want an audi. I want something fast tho. What do you think. Thanks

What is insurance?

What is insurance?

Do you need a Car Insurance to get a license?

I'm Male 18 yrs old. I don't have a car yet. I finished taking DMV Written Exam. My problem now is the Behind the Wheel. My mom told me if she will include me in her Insurance, it will add her around $400 more. I'm planning to go to a driving school maybe to lessen the amount. My question is, if I would use the car of the Driving School, do I still need to have an Insurance? Any suggestions? Thanks!""

What is the cost of auto insurance in Florida?

I plan on buying a cheap beat up car in florida. It will be my first car and I was wondering what it would cost for auto insurance?

I am currently finishing my prerequisites to get into nursing school and I am interested in the different...?

I am almost done with the prerequisites and the huge waiting lists for ALL nursing schools...state and community college...are scaring me. I started to look into the trade schools that offer the RN programs and I know they are more expensive but I was wondering if employers look at them differently. If I decide to go to a trade school I wonder if it will be a disadvantage. Could anybody please give me advice. Thank you.

Can I insure a vehicle I don't legally own? ?

Can I insure a vehicle I don't legally own? ?

""Would insurance be cheaper for a '04 nissan sentra, '08 toyota prius, or '08 honda fit?""

I am making payments on my '04 nissan sentra and i'm running the numbers to see how much more or less it would cost if i owned a new prius or fit. so far for expenses i'm just figuring in payments and gas and that my nissan will need about $1,000 of work in the next 3 years""

How much midwife cost w/wo insurance?

I am not sure if my insurance covers midwife expenses, hence any advice shall be helpful. Also, where can I look for a midwife who accepts insurance? Possibly ask my OB or hospital ? please advice""

Do you think IQ should be used in determining car insurance rates?

Do you think IQ should be used in determining car insurance rates?

Insurance prices?

does the color of a vehicle have anything to do with the price of insurance?

What the health insurance influences on?

I would like to know if a pregnant women can be treated in different ways depending on her health insurance. I can imagine that different health insurances can cover pregnancy in different way. For example with some health insurance the woman cannot get some services which she could get with another health insurance. Is that true? I also can imagine that different health insurances can have a different network of medical providers which could have different level of services and qualification of staff. Is that true?

How much is Taxi Insurance in South Jersey?

I heard Taxi Insurance is Cheaper in South Jersey vs North Jersey. What town are you in? Thanks.

Should I buy life insurance from Transamerica?

I have read that AEGON owns Transamerica Life insurance. There is a posting that both are potential scams. One warning was about health insurance. Is there a connection between the life insurance and the health insurance? The Transamerica building in San Francisco is shaped like a Pyramid. Wouldn't it be something if........

Can car insurance sue you if you are 18 and just have a permit and if its under my cousin insurance?

I was driving in a parking lot with my cousin and my cousin has her driver license and she over 21 and i was driving. Im 18 and i only have my permit. Well accidentally i was driving and i was trying to park and i hit the car next to me. Well they put it under my cousin car insurance and they didn't call the police on us. Well my mom saying the insurance can go after me to what ever how much it cost. What should i expect if i don't have a job and what is the percent that they will sue me if i have my permit and what should i expect if they do.....

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

Hey how much is Honda CBR 125 insurance?

Hey I am 17 years old, living in Ontario. I want to buy a 2007 Honda CBR 125. I have my M2 and was wondering if anyone with similar information could let me know about how much I would be paying per year on insurance.""

Cheap Car Insurance Help.?

I am an 18 year old boy and have recently passed my driving test, i am looking around for cars but the insurance is a joke, the cheapest i have had is 5000. Anyone know what cars are cheap to insure and what insurance companies are cheap for young new drivers?""

Car accident but driver isnt under my insurance?

Last month my boyfriend and I were driving and someone rear ended my car. I am insured under Mercury insurance and the car is owned under my moms name. My bf has his own insurance but not for my car. We were not at fault but I'm nervous about filing a claim with the insurance company cause he is not under my insurance and was driving my car.. A police report was filed.. But what will happen if I file a claim with Mercury insurance? Will I get charged or fined for letting someone that wasn't on my insurance drive my car? Or can I not file a claim to the other company cause he isn't insured under the car that was damaged ? and if I ask my representative from Mercury what will happen will she report me even if I don't file a claim for letting someone who isn't under our insurance drive the car?

Buying my first car - which one should I choose?

I am a 22-year-old female and I'm looking to buy my first car so I can commute to my new job about 25 miles away. I am looking for something: *cheap to run *cheap on insurance *cheap on road tax ****reliable**** *relatively cheap to fix if something goes wrong *second hand - no more than 5 years old *up to 4,000 *smallish/easy to park Any recommendations? I have absolutely no clue about cars so that's why I have resorted to Yahoo Questions! I am completely indifferent about the style/look of the car and I am a slow/sensible driver. I just need a little runaround to get me from A-B. Reliability is crucial to me because if I have to be left without a car for any period of time I will be unable to get to work. Any advice on the make and model of any cars I should consider would be much appreciated as I am visiting garages all week this week. Thanks!""

Will I get dropped from my insurance?

Hi, i took a urine test with my doctor the other day. I asked what h was testing for and he said everything , so Im not sure what hes testing. He said he was gonna check for diabetes and what not. I was wondering, in the case he drug tests me can he tel my insurance? Can I get dropped from the insurance for this? I smoked weed about 5 weeks ago. I live in California amd hnet is my insurance. Thanks!""

How does my 21 year old son get health insurance?

My 21 year old dropped out of college and is trying to get back in part time. Would my employer cover his health? How else can he get himself covered? What types of costs are we looking at?

How much would the insurance cost on a 50 cc moped for an 18 year old?

I know that insurance can vary dramatically.....but it would be good if someone had a rough estimate...and are there and insurance compare sites that don't require the number plate of the bike and the liscence number and stuff ?

Where do I look for Health Insurance?

In a month I'll be 18. I don't smoke and I'm enrolled in college. I want to find something affordable and simple, but mostly affordable. Who do I talk to and how will I know its a good deal? Another question is when I go to a hospital, do I have to pay it all upfront or can I make payments over time? (In two weeks I'll be getting the Implanon and its been set for about four months and my mother never bothered to tell me we lost out insurance. And the implant can be $400-$800 and I dont know the cost of a visit to a OBGYN at a hospital.) What else do I need to know about insurance?""

I dont want to pay for car insurance... is there any way around it? LOL?

I know it sounds crazy and I need insurance but is there anyway to avoid paying it... at least for just a month? I have the cheapest plan possible but its still killing me financially every month! Do you think allstate has a low income program? Do ANY of the insurance companies....?

""What are the cheapest Insurance companies for young drivers typically aged 17, 18 and 19?""

I have just passed my driving test well its been almost 8 months now and everywhere I look car insurance is too expensive, have done a lot of research and really need a car as keep getting rejected for jobs on the basis of I don't own a car/ have my own transportation as companies do not want to pay for transport in these economical times, been looking at vauxhall corsa 1.2 litre or less, Ford Fiesta 1.2 litre petrol, peagout 207 renaault clio as well. If anyone can provide me with useful tips to reduce or get the 'cheapest' insurance can be third party only for young drivers I would apprecaite it. Also any tricks or hints which can be used for extra haggling as well when confirming quotes on the phone would help. My current budget is betwen 500 - 3000 for a car and would ideally want insurance at under 2000. The cheapest quote I got was for a citroen c1 at 1950 third party only but found the car was in excess of 3000 on autotrader, Are there any cars which are low insurance group i.e. groups 1 and 2, cheap to insure, cheap road tax and cheap running costs. I have mates who have got insurance quotes at 900 and do not understand how they have got it that low. Sure enough post code has an affect but they drive vauxhall corsa in fully comprehensive at them prices.""

Insurance for 2001 celica?

considering everything else equal (age, experience, w/e), how is the price of insurance for a 2001 toyota celica compared to cars of the same price range? eg accord, sports cars, compact cars, midsize""

Can I put my mom in my health insurance?

Can I put my mom in my health insurance?

What is the Best affordable Medicare Supplemental insurance available?

I just turned 65 and I need Medicare supplemental insurance.

Can I get Car Insurance in Texas without a D-License?

Can I get car insurance without a license. I'm located in Texas. Is there ways around to do it?

Is a tree house covered under insurance?

We are thinking of creating a tree house to use as a office and need to know if it is covered under the home owner insurance or will new insurance and coverage be required. Bonus: Will property tax go up?

About health insurance?

My job health insurance is to high, I need affordable insurance do anyone one how I can go by getting it""

""How much does tornado insurance cost? (to cover only my house, but not what is inside the house)?""

i have car insurance right now with allstate where i pay 50 $ every month, how much would it be if i add tornado insurance to cover only my house but not what is inside the house? I know you dont know, but i just want you to tell me approximatley how much please.""

What is the cheapest Insurance for a first time driver?

What is the cheapest Insurance for a first time driver?

Would disability insurance premiums be deductible if you are self employed?

Would disability insurance premiums be deductible if you are self employed?

""I damaged my car, i got a quote off the garage, and the insurance said they will pay,?""

so i let the garage send a quote and the insurance said i can leave my car in, but now i have found another garage nearer to my house and he will match the quote, plus repair it at weekend , so i dont need the car. can i change to this garage .. i live in Ireland thanks""

What happens to rest of my insurance after a write off?

I had a accident today in my fiesta, hit some ice, lost control round a bend ended up in the ditch, car looks f****d admiral picking it up 2mo I am only 11 months into the policy I have been told by a few people that it is defo a write off so I take it i will be paid out for the car (how long would this take) I am also getting a courtesy car by the garage picking the car up to repair it now will i have this till i get paid out? and due to having 11 months on my insurance and i paid in full can i freeze the insurance till i get a new car (ill be getting the same car infact i hope its not a write off) or will i get something back on the insurance due to only using 1 of the 12 months i paid for?""

Cancel work insurance to go through private insurance company?

My husband has to carry insurance on his child, as ordered by court, along with child support. It's not a big deal at all, really. The thing is, paying child support and insurance is going to start eating half his check (they just told him today that they signed him up for insurance). So we looked around, and we found it was much cheaper to go through BCBS privately, than go through work. Is it going to be a problem to get private insurance, instead of the company's insurance?""

How much is car insurance for a 25 year old female?

How much is car insurance for a 25 year old female?

Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK!?

So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 21, But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 2500! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""

What car insurance company has the cheapest coverage for drivers aged 18-25?

Chicago-land area companies would be best. Any insurance 100$ or less????

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

I could be pregnant... with no health insurance!!! what I do????

I am not sure, But maybe I am Pregnant... I do not have health insurance... I was thinking on buying a policy but would they accept me pregnant??? Someone knows about a cheap health insurance??? I believe it will be cheaper than paying like 9,000 for the hospital right???""

Where Can I Get Checp Car Insurance?

Hi everyone, please Where Can I Get Checp Car Insurance? i live in CA""

Would you let your teenager daughter drive a classic car?

An old catalina convertible to be exact. She is very responsible, however, do you think it is too dangerous of a car? Also, how much would insurance be on a classic car with a student driver?""

Insurance Help Please?

I got a letter today saying that my health insurance is about to be canceled. I have been on my mom's insurance forever. She is disabled and can not work so it was a state funded program. (Tenncare) I am too old to stay under hers anymore so I applied myself. Here are my qualifications . I am 19 and a full time college student. I have a part time job and make about 500-600 a month. My total monthly bills are about 450 (not counting gas and food). I am having to depend on my family to even survive right now. I don't understand why I was denied health insurance when I basically make negative money a month? I am really worried because I just found out I have PCOS with a large cyst on my right ovary and I may have to have surgery soon. I am going to the doctor at least once a month to track the growth of the cyst. I honestly can not afford my own health insurance. Is there anything I can do? Also the place I work does not offer health insurance. Thanks in advance.

Getting Car Insurance?

I'm getting married and because I'm moving to another state I'm having to switch from one insurance for my car to another. My question is this, how much up front money will it cost to get insurance for me and my wife? For example, will they need a deposit, or expect a certain number of months up front? Also if anyone could refer me to a good insurance company, I live in Alabama near Birmingham I 'm considering either state farm or alfa. Thanks!""

2004 Mazda rx8 monthly insurance price?

Im 39 years old and haven't had a wreck nor got a ticket since 1982, I have perfect credit. I was wondering about how much it would cost every month for a 2004 Mazda rx8 with geico, or an estimate for another company.""

How to get car insurance / insured for a 17 year old driver 1.0l car HELP!! PLEASE 3000- price quote?

hi guys, i really need some help with this one: i passed my driving test last week and need to get insurance for my 1.0 l VW LUPO i have been on GOCOMPARE, COMPARE THE MARKET, MONEY SUPERMARKET, QUINN DIRECT ETC but the least i have been quoted is 7500!! how ridiculous PLEASE CAN YOU HELP!! I NEED INSURANCE THAT WILL BE 3000 OR LESS so if any one can help please do please dont post about how you got cheap car insurance 3 years ago because it is not helpful, times have changed as my brother got insurance on a 1.4 focus for 1600!! PLEASE HELP GUYS IM DESPARATED""

My insurance rates went up for buying a prius?

E-surance added 300 dollars to my 6 month term for buying a Prius. They said it is a new car, and that they cant find the safety ratings. Is this just non sense, and is their another insurance company that wont penalize me for buying a safer, fuel efficent car?""

How much on average does it cost for business insurance yearly in Ohio?

I want to find out how much a small business insurance would cost yearly on average in the state of Ohio

HELP PLEASE! CAR INSURANCE?

OKAY SO I LIVE IN FLORIDA COUNTRY AREA IN HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY AND I WAS WONDERING HOW MUCH WOULD CAR INSURANCE COST ON A 1989 BUICK LESABRE THE INSURANCE WILL BE PUT IN MY AUNTS NAME WHO IS A (SENIOR CITIZEN) AND HAS A CLEAN DRIVING RECORD AND RECEIVES SOCIAL SECURITY. ****ALSO DOES SHE HAVE TO PAY FOR THE INSURANCE AS SOON AS SHE PUTS IT ON THE CAR OR DOES SHE WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT MONTH? HELP PLEASE?

I'm trying to make a car insurance for eu driving license?

Hi, everytime when I make a quote on e.g. (comparethemarket.com or moneysupermarket.com) I get a car insurance around 7000 ponds. Is there any way how I can get cheaper insurance? I'm in UK.""

""My car insurance was voided in the past, and now I can't get a quote anywhere, can anyone help?!?""

When I started learning to drive at 17, I decided to buy my self a cheap car so that I'd be able to get more experience behind the wheel, pass my test quicker and have a car as soon as I passed my test. I was insured on my provisional license with an insurance company which specialised in learner drivers. However, I ended up getting 3 points on my license the week before I passed my test, in what I still think were pretty unfair circumstances. My house doesn't have a drive or a garage and so I had to park my car on the road in front of my house, or on a street round the corner when there were no spaces. As it was my first car I was really excited, and without understanding that I could get in trouble for it, I used to sometimes sit in my car and listen to music with my friends. The week before I passed my test we were sat chatting when a police car came down the road and pulled up behind us. Someone had broken into some allotments nearby and they were questioning us as to if we had seen anything. They searched my car- for tools that could suggest we had done it I presume, and when they found nothing they ran my license and obviously realised I only had a provisional license. I still at this point didn't realise I had done anything wrong, I wasn't driving the car, simply sat in it so I didn't realise I had committed an offence. The police informed me that because the engine was running, I could have been driving or about to drive and on that basis they convicted me for driving without a license. I only got 3 points and a 60 fine due to the fact I wasn't actually driving and at the time I accepted that with relief, I was terrified I'd get a ban or lose my license or get a massively unaffordable fine. I could have appealed but that would have meant going to court and I was only 17 and that terrified me. I declared the points to my insurance company straght away, but due to the nature of the offence my insurance was invalidated and void. I've only just now realised how serious having insurance voided in the past is. I'm supposed to be moving a 5 hours away in a few months for a job, and I have plenty of money saved for car insurance and a car, as without a car, the move is completely unrealistic. Without a car I won't be able to get to work as the hours are unsocial and my job isn't very well connected with public transport at all and so relying on public transport or taxis is simply not an option. I found a car, went to get an insurance quote, and found out that getting insurance is practically impossible when you've had insurance voided in the past. The points don't seem to be a problem, when I tell companies about my points but not about my insurance voided in the past they happily give me a quote. They're expensive, but affordable and it's what I was expecting. However, as soon as I tell them that my insurance was voided in the past they refuse to even give me a quote. I'm completely out of options and I don't know what to do. I need a car, but I can't get insurance as much as I try. I know I was in the wrong, but it seems like the voided insurance is more of a punishment than the points are and surely that isn't right? And the voided insurance will stay with me for the rest of my life, so does that mean that driving will never be an option for me? I'm sorry for the essay, I just really don't know what to do! If anyone's been in a similar situation with voided insurance or know of a company that would insure me then please let me know! Just anything that would help, let me know! Thank you so much in advance and sorry again for the babbling!""

Will my insurance go up if my boyfriend wrecks my car?

My boyfriend recently backed my car into a dumpster and left significant damage on the bumper. He insisted he would pay to get it fixed, but it looks like I'm going to have to make a claim. Do I make a claim on my insurance or does he make one on his? Also, is my insurance going to go up a significant amount?""

Self Employed Health Insurance?

My father just quit his old job, he couldn't work there anymore (Too long commute and we lost a parent, so he had to stay closer home for the family) So now he is self employed. We are trying to find insurance that will cover him, 4 children, vision (we all wear glasses) + dental. Does anyone have any suggestions? (We live in PA)""

UK Cheap Insurance Cars for 17 year old...?

Hello, I am 17 and i have just started to take driving lessons and will soon hope to pass my test here in the UK and then get a car for use to and from college (and if i can gen an apprentice job then to work as well as college one day a week) and some driving for social use (but very very little) and looking for some recommendations for good car for cheap insurance that would not look out of place at college here in the UK. Thanks""

How to get cheaper insurance with an impaired driving/hit and run charges?

I currently have impaired driving/hit and run charges on my drivers license as of august 2010. How can I possibly get cheaper insurance. The cheapest quote I got was 9 grand.. How long is my insurance going to be this bad for??? Help!!!

What health insurance is low cost and fits my description?

Im a 24 year old female, employed, no kids, and not in school anymore. i have no health insurance and i have a lot of health problems but i coudn't afford to get insurance until now. I'm looking for a low cost health insurance with dental care. I've tried looking up different insurance but i dont know what category fits me. I saw theres a student option or something that has to do with ages 18-26 but i dont know what that covers. i have a hard time comprehending the description. Theres one for individuals where you either pay more monthly and get lower deductable or pay less and pay more for deductable. I'm at a total loss. can anyone tell me what is my best option and what insurance should i get?""

Does your home insurance go up when you have a boat?

I want to buy a 21 foot boat and keep it in my back yard when not in use. What costs am I looking at? The boat and trailer need new registration but is that just a one time payment and I'm good to go? thanks

What is the CHEAPEST car insurance for a21 year old?

Im buy a car and i would like to no if anybody no what, would my insurances be""

CA Senior Supplement Insurance?

I've reached the age now lucky I guess, Seniors from California which supplement insurance is best in cost/ benefits PLEASE Help. :)""

SPEEDING TICKET & CAR INSURANCE: QUESTION?

If my dad drives my car and is not on my insurance and he gets a speeding ticket, does MY insurance go up? I heard that since he's the driver, he gets the speeding ticket and it does not affect my insurance. But then I also heard the opposite. WHICH is true? I live in Canada""

Insurance cost for 2.3l fox body mustang 16 year old?

I am 16 and considering purchasing a 2.3l four cylinder mustang. These were made from the mid 80's to early 90's. They have like no power but get good mpg. I am worried that insurance companies would see the word mustang and give me a high rate. BTW my sister is 17 and pays only 50 a month on a family plan for a 1995 suzuki sidekick.

""Is it legal to drive in California without insurance? (insurance on the person, not the car)?""

Hi, my car is insured, but I just got my license today and I am not insured. The car is under my parents' name and my dad told me it was legal to drive without insurance... but I am unsure of whether this is true or not. Can someone please clarify? Thanks in advance, Liz.""

Looking for car insurance?

what do u use? Wat advice can u give me about it? All a Wat insurance do u use? Wat advice can u give me about it?

What is the best car insurance for me?!?

i dont know if i should be on my moms car insurance or get my own, and if i get my own, which one? im a female, 18, and live in New York. and i will probably get a car that is 4+ years old""

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

Pacoima California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 91333

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/allstate-insurance-home-quote-arthur-peterson/"

[alegendarystudentwonderland-blog]

Considering suing my car insurance company?

"Considering suing my car insurance company?

As we all know car insurance companies in the United States of America charge males more than females to drive a car based on real world studies . This is the equivalent of not hiring females because they may get pregnant and take a lot ofdays off... Because this is truly a real world study i conducted that males dont get pregnant as often as females. So I am highly tempted to bring this up with a lawyer or at least send a letter to my car insurance company, and i want them to hurt for it because frankly it pisses me off that i am being descriminated against. Further more, in europe, this practice of charging males more because they are more likely to drive is highly illegal. I am in no way a liberal democrat but if this sensitivity bullshit is going to stop descrimination than maybe they should give a **** about me before i start caring about them...

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I live in arkansas and i need cheap car insurance and i just got my license. know of any cheap companies?

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Considering suing my car insurance company?

As we all know car insurance companies in the United States of America charge males more than females to drive a car based on real world studies . This is the equivalent of not hiring females because they may get pregnant and take a lot ofdays off... Because this is truly a real world study i conducted that males dont get pregnant as often as females. So I am highly tempted to bring this up with a lawyer or at least send a letter to my car insurance company, and i want them to hurt for it because frankly it pisses me off that i am being descriminated against. Further more, in europe, this practice of charging males more because they are more likely to drive is highly illegal. I am in no way a liberal democrat but if this sensitivity bullshit is going to stop descrimination than maybe they should give a **** about me before i start caring about them...

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What's the cheapest insurance for a 17-year-old male in New Jersey? I just need something affordable.?

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Will CT speeding ticket effect my NY insurance?

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Car insurance help please ?

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If you have gotten one please tell me, I just want to see around how much they add :D""

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Insurance Broker Question?

On average how much does an insurance broker make in california? Or how much just a well rounded guess nationwide it does not matter... When an insurance broker gets commision from a company for helping them get more customers...around how much percentage does he cut from the company?

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I'm almost 18 and have not yet attended driving school. I was thinking that I'd just go to the BMV and get my license once I m 18 and not worry about paying so much money for driving school. But I have heard from a few people that insurance later on once I receive a car will be higher since I did not take any driving courses. Is this true? I want to know if it's better to pay a little extra now to go to driving school for lower insurance later? Or if it'd end up being about the same price, anyway, without driving school? (I know all insurance companies are different, but I mean overall/in general?) Please and thank you!""

Where does the money go that everyone pays for car insurance?

If I pay $100 a month for car insurance for 20 years that's $24,000. I know 5 people in my family who pay approximately that so that's about $120,000. So with everyone who drives pays about that, where does all that money go? To pay for car wrecks? Government? What? (No, I've never had a wreck or used the insurance to pay for anything)""

Can I sell my own shipping insurance?

I sell products online that I make myself. So in the past it has been a pain for customers to deal with the postal service in case of damaged in shipping. So instead I would like to just offer my own shipping insurance. Then customers can deal directly with me and everything will me a lot faster and smoother. Is this legal since I am not a real insurance company? If it's not legal how do I have to word it so I can charge like $5 and handle shipping damage myself?

How much would the car insurance cost for a 2006 ferrari f430?

for a 25 year old

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How much is for insurance for 18 year old people and for a used car?also do u pay each month or 6 month?

How much is for insurance for 18 year old people and for a used car?also do u pay each month or 6 month?

Is there anyone out there who knows which cars have lower insurance rates?

Is there anyone out there who knows which cars have lower insurance rates?

""Hit and run accident, should insurance pay for my auto damage?

Here is my situation that I'm confused about. About a week ago I went to church and parked my car. Next thing I know is that someone was driving stolen (Yukon) car and has hit the ...show more

Considering suing my car insurance company?

As we all know car insurance companies in the United States of America charge males more than females to drive a car based on real world studies . This is the equivalent of not hiring females because they may get pregnant and take a lot ofdays off... Because this is truly a real world study i conducted that males dont get pregnant as often as females. So I am highly tempted to bring this up with a lawyer or at least send a letter to my car insurance company, and i want them to hurt for it because frankly it pisses me off that i am being descriminated against. Further more, in europe, this practice of charging males more because they are more likely to drive is highly illegal. I am in no way a liberal democrat but if this sensitivity bullshit is going to stop descrimination than maybe they should give a **** about me before i start caring about them...

How much would the insurance cost for a high dollar sports car?

Like a $400,000 Lamborghini Murcielago or a $500,000 Chrysler ME 4-12? A little vague, but what would a ballpark amount be?""

Liability Insurance?

I only have liability insurance and I was told by a friend they don't cover accidents. even if its not your fault. now that sounds like b.s I was involved in a wreck today and it was NOT my fault. what do i get. and also what other benefits do you get with insurances. not benefits but like. what willt hey cover or not cover

""What would a $50,000 cadillac cost per month? + insurance?""

im looking into the cadillac sts (sp=47,000 - 78,000) and i want to know the monthly cost.. $275,000 yearly income (get paid yearly).. which is about $23,000 a month combined. take into account teenager insurance which i heard can be brutal and also... would buying this car stretch my finances? i dont want my family to be uncomfortable for just a car. like someone earlier told me 1k a month for my car payment but i want to know the other estimates""

How much is automobile commercial insurance?

Vehicle insurance

Car insurance question?

If I where to go for my license tomorrow would i have to get car insurance right away? I don't plan on driving until i get a job so could i just have the license just so i can get a co op job with my school then get insurance. Thank you

How dos US car insurance work compared to english car insurance?

I'm looking to get a bmw x5 but insurance is 9000k a year like $13000k I heard they do it different so its easier to get bigger cars. In england they don't allow young drivers to get big cars so the insurance is expensive How dos us car insurance work

Why are our insurance rates going to go up again?

When Obama pushed his Affordable Care Act, he said that insurance premiums for families would go down. Last year mine went up. Now that the plan will be put in place fully next ...show more""

How much can I expect to get back from a written off car?

I wrote my peugeot 206 off last week the insurance are sending out a settlement figure as soon as they have valued it etc I was just wondering what sort of pay back you get im not expecting much but am hoping to get a new car with some of the insurance money the value of the car is about 2,500 before the crash.""

Vauxhall Astra 1.7 cdti Insurance?

I'm 17 soon so i'm looking for cars to get, and I've been looking at a 1.7 cdti Vauxhall Astra (100bhp) 3 door, and i can easily afford a decent 2005-07 model but its the insurance I'm worried about, i don't want to buy a nice decent first car and not be able to insure the damn thing, and all of the quote websites I've been on are giving me stupid answers so I'm just wondering if any of yous have had one of these for your first cars and how much it cost to insure it or if you just have a good idea on how much it would cost? thanks.""

What is the best Dental insurance around in Illinois?

I need a dental insurance that pays 50 to 75 of all dental care including oral surgen. My boyfriend needs a lot of work done on his teeth. He is scared of death of the denist, he has to be put to sleep and he has to have all the work done at one time. Can anyone help me please.""

""Car accident, driving record & Insurance?""

If car accident happended and insurance covered the damage, but at-fault violation is kept off the driving record with help of being first offender, then will it still affect car insurance rate even if switching previous insurance company to other? Do insurance companies share their custmer drivers' information?""

Which is the best health care insurance plan & which is the best Indian company to get it?

I'm very particular about Hospital cash insurance.

Does anyone know names /links for affordable dental insurance for someone who's 66 yrs old under medicare...?

my mom is having tooth ache and she's 66, no job, poor. anyone knows of good dental insurance plan i can help her with?""

How much is insurance if...?

I am 16, female and driving a sports car [[camaro]]? please give an average for texas and several different companys!""

Which car insurance have you got the cheapest quote from for a 1.0 car?

my family is looking to buy a new car. My mum would be the main driver...my father the additional driver and me as another additional driver my mum has had her license for 15 years my dad has had it well over 30 years and i just passed a week ago any suggestions for the cheapest car insurance company ive been to gocompare but some sites dont show up any result....well quite alot frankly that i cannot go to each one individually to find a quote

Where can I find affordable health insurance for me and my self employed husband?

For just me and him we pay $927 a month! He has no medical conditions. I take 3 medications for depression and anxiety, but its been a lifelong thing, and I require not psychiatrist or anything , like that, just the meds from my family doctor to keep my chemicals level. Can we get assistance, or is there special help for the self employed? I'm 35 and he is 40.""

Health insurance help.?

So my father canceled our insurance last year and we have no health insurance. I know that this leaves us in a very bad spot. Im looking for some advice as to what me and my family should do. My mom is 40 and my dad is 38 my brother is 12 and i am 18. We make just under 60K a year. My father is a private contractor so we had an idea to try and get him business insurance that would cover my family. My mom had an idea to get a legal separation with my father to help keep cost down. I don't know how well any of that would work. I don't know very much about how health insurance works or any loopholes we can use. So i guess i need to know. a) How can we get cheap health insurance in New Jersey ? b) What are the best plans for people in my situation ? c) Is there anything i should know about health insurance to help my family out? Thanks so much in advance.

How much is car insurance for a teen?

I'm 16,I have a 2002 Camaro SS,I live in Las Vegas,Nevada.(don't stalk me lol).My dad has Geico insurance.What else do you need to know?""

I have a polish worker were can i find cheap car insurance for him?

I have a polish worker were can i find cheap car insurance for him?

Individual Health Insurance Plans - Medical history not perfect?

anyone know of any affordable insurance plans out there...health insurance, preferably with a deductable only on ER and Hospitalization costs.... and initial co-pay only on visits and such...Rx.... my medical history isn't the best, but no major health issues...just some past med. history that could make it difficult for me to be insurred.""

Cheap car insurance for me?

Right I'm 22 and at college doing painting and decorating and have A LOT of people wanting things done to there houses but they are too far away and I can't carry a paste tae plus tools on a bus and hawl it everywhere with me all the time so I need to get my *** in gear and get a car. I'm going to be taking lessons in the near future but insurance is obv essential. What would be my best option on cheap... Or cheaper option anyway for my current situation. Keeping in mind would only need a cheap small banger of a car and I'm a student. Any heads up would be great on where to go or best car for me Thanks

Does any body know if Access General Insurance is good?

please give me your opinion on this insurance company if your with them plz the good and the bad and what would be a good insurance company in California

Can insurance Car repo?

I'm finally able to start getting caught up on my insurance payments (I'm 2 moths behind sadly but getting it caught up), the vehicle is paid off, will an insurance company repo my vehicle for not being up to date on the insurance payment?""

Health Insurance-please help?

I am 22 years old, and I will currently be in law school until May of 2011. Because I had to be declared as an Independent, I can no longer be on my father's insurance plan. I am scrambling to find something, because I do not want to be without health insurance and I will no longer be covered as of Jan. 1, 2009. The school's insurance policy will not cover me until Jan. 20, 2009, it seems pretty shitty, and is expensive. What can I do? What is the best private insurance to get? Should I get private insurance? Thanks for your help, it is really stressing me out.""

""How much will my insurance premium go up after a speeding ticket, I'm 17?""

I am a 17 year old male whose car insurance is roughly $200 a month from Travelers. My parents (unlike me, haha) are perfect drives and have had no recent violations. On the other hand, I got pulled over in MASS for doing 86 in a 65. It won't happen again. I live in CT. How much do you think this will increase by? and when I renew could my insurance company decide to not run my DMV record?""

Considering suing my car insurance company?

As we all know car insurance companies in the United States of America charge males more than females to drive a car based on real world studies . This is the equivalent of not hiring females because they may get pregnant and take a lot ofdays off... Because this is truly a real world study i conducted that males dont get pregnant as often as females. So I am highly tempted to bring this up with a lawyer or at least send a letter to my car insurance company, and i want them to hurt for it because frankly it pisses me off that i am being descriminated against. Further more, in europe, this practice of charging males more because they are more likely to drive is highly illegal. I am in no way a liberal democrat but if this sensitivity bullshit is going to stop descrimination than maybe they should give a **** about me before i start caring about them...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/do-i-need-car-insurance-marieke-fleming"

[janiklandre-blog]

Monday, February 27, 2017

chilly, sunny - 9:30 a.m. in the computer room while my new computer is resting on my desk.

Going back - Saturday I wrote about my magic days in Sag Harbor - and magic they were - until - well, perhaps it is my blog that for the first time is causing me trouble. A reader - whom I left out today - is a neighbor of my friend, I too have known them for a long time, I had heard they would come on Friday and return to nyc on Sunday - I decided to stay until Sundayhoping to get a ride back into the city. The female part of the pair called Saturday morning, my friend mentioned I wanted a ride, she said I have to talk to my husband, in the evening they came for dinner, I already had heard they wanted to leave early, fine with me - I began to say I'd be happy to leave early on Sunday, he interrupted me and said: we need our privacy. I was stunned - lucklily kept my mouth closed - later wondered, might a reason be that he worried I might later write on this here blog what they talked about? In any event no reason was given, gaily they talked about local matters, I was chopped liver and after finishing what I had on my plate did say something to the effect that I was being totally ignored - my dear friend: she always wants to be the center of attention - yes I do like it if I am not totally ignored. Had I been smart I would have excused myself saying I did not feel well - he still asked are you upset because we don't want to take you with us - well - luckily I did not say much and disappeared and my friend's comment was: you arfe not b eing nice at all. I did not feel like sitting there and just listening to their happy chatter all about their affairs.

Lucklily they left soon to see some silly movie - people now have to drive to East Hampton because the movie theater in Sag Harbor has been burned down - and my friend then acknowledged that they had not been very nice to me - he could have called earlier and they could have made some excuse and saying they are sorry - instead of only saying: we need privacy. She once upon a time was part of the weathermen - now she is a vip - ready for another three weeks of travel around the world, a highly paid llecturer on feminism - they have a beautiful house in Sag Harbor, an apartment in Berlin and a large apartment on the upper west side - I assume they pay for parking for their car in the city - very expensive.

In my days with Paco he always said I attract "subhumans" -  poor people, troubled peaple and my son also mentioned the troubled people I have been involved with - and continue to be involved with. I did score an M.Phil. at Columbia University - after 1968 there were thousands and thousands of Ph.D.'s in what is called "the humanities" who no longer could find work because after the student unrest - I was on the side of the rebellion - funds for humanities were drastically cut. I was altogether in the wrong department at Columbia - German - the long time chairman, already chairman in the 1930's had been a supporter of Hitler and when Bauke arrived - b0rn in the same year I was, 1932 - into a Silesian officer's family, great supporters of Hitler and his father a rocket scientist, he came in 1945 at 13 to Ohio - must have landed at Columbia when I came to Mount Holyoke - Josef Padur Bauke, probably can be googled, had long obit in the NYT after he was left to die on the sofa of Inge Halpert's x-mas party - 1984 or such - it made me believe in divine justice. He had seen to it I never would get a job - failed me in my phd orals the first time round - I had 150 letters ready to mail to colleges io a hundred mile radius of nyc - I had taught German at U.C.L.A, and also at Columbia, I am a native speaker - this was in the spring of 1969 - I had to throw those letters away, they said I had passed phd orals - and in the fall he passed me - he had failed me on the behest of the old nazi in my specialty, modern German lit - Bauke had taught the courses and when I was "a lady" - I lived at 25 East 83rd, Mount Holyoke B.A., UCLA Masters, straight A's - I was married to a Harvard Law grad, I had my hair doen on Fridays, I worke make up, nylons, heels and was elegant - my husband saw to it his wife was elegant - Bauke had given me stright A's - than he fails me in modern lit. He knew this looked absurd and on a second try int the fall of 1969 he passed me - then 69/70 I still had some part time teaching at St.Joseph's college for women in Brooklyn, next door to Pratt - my students everywhere have loved me - I was fun and I was kind - and beautiful, so they tell me - I baked the most wonderful apple cake for them and for that they remembered me

I wrote a letter to the mother superior outlining that instead of introductory German I would like to teach history of Germans in America, most of my students were taling my class because they were of German backgrround - that interested them and then they might have approached this difficult language with greater interest. German 1 the way it is taught is deadly boring for teacher and student alike - and most give up. The mother superior never acknowledged my letter and the German department was phased out - languave requirements had been very unpopular and the students in 1968 got them cancelled. Most were taught by barely paid teaching assistants as I had been - paying dues - and by the newly employed. By the summer of 1970 I had wonderful university diplomas - totally worthless for emplpoyment. I looked to high school teaching - German not an accepted subject, I t\got the necessary creds taking an exam in French, by then a year of student teaching was required, Robert G. had diverced me in the fall of 1967, harvard law grad found a way never to give me a cent again - I considered applying for welfare and write a dissertation - my topic: German women writers dealing with the awakening to what had been happening in their country - some excellent books - went to the welfare bureau, they asked, how much money do you have, I said $50, they said come back when you have no money. Also a friend at the time whose mother had been on welfare told me, never, never, never go on welfare. And - yes, there were the truly smart ones, like the once upon a time weatherman woman - who had much better connections than I had - who made it to high earners - and I - never learned how to earn money - they barely find worthwhile to look at.

I have written about how the Catholic Worker, the Catholics, have helped me - at least in theory their religion admires - well in German we call them "Bettelmoenche" -monks living by begging - which in essence the CW also does. Low income is in theory an honor - alas when it comes to practice they ask the successful to speak at their meetings - and they do have this thing about washing dishes - no machine, God forbid - and the most honorable thing to do is to wash dishes - and I certainly have washed mountains of dishes in my life, no machine ever. Still - I am saddened - that my mind has found little recognition - one does read this here blog - so far he has not made any comment to me - or, wait a minute, he has said in passing he finds it interesting.

As I said to my very dear friend in Sag Harbor - who does appreciate me despite of my short comings that she does enjoy pointing out - calling it telling me the truth - and saying - you don't want to hear the truth - oh well - I am now suffering of a strong case of Torschlusspanik - a term in soccer, where a clock ends the game - and I do hear my clock ticking and yes I would love, love love still also finding a bit of a reward in dollars and cents, money I very much would need now, or believe I would need

Anyway - at the beginning I was going to talk how people have made me aware of how people classify people - French Christine talking of people of value, she worked at the French consulate - and Joel G. talking of a lists, b lists, c lists - obviously as far as the couple is concerned who did not give me a ride I am at the very bottom of their list - but alas also of people at the Catholic Worker - who would like me to be a sweet and even tempered dish washer, always smiling, never talking - and fully admitting how good pills would be for me that would shut me up, once and for all - and most certainly not write what I just wrote now and now am going to send, unread, one again, in a hurry, Molly is about to come. Adios. Marianne