#yes BM i incorporated your recent Paz is Boba's puppy hcs

[bellsyafterdark]

So because I have a chronic case of 'loves hurting my faves' and keep thinking about the whole Paz-Cobb thing... I think it would be fun if that fucked Boba up very badly actually. Like he's got all his guilt about what happened with Din. He's dealing with it but. He's not dealing great. He knows he needs to deal with it. He's actually been thinking of talking to Paz -- he and Fennec are too alike, and Paz has known Din so much longer, he thinks Paz might have some valuable perspective.

And then the conversation about Cobb happens.

Din's still in Mos Pelgo for a few days after that conversation. Paz has been talking to Garsa and is starting to understand how he's actually feeling about things. Fennec isn't really talking to anyone. And by the time Din gets home, Boba is really seriously considering sabotaging his relationship with them entirely because he loves them and doesn't want to hurt them more than he has.

(I'd like to think Din gets home, figures out what happened, and gets Boba to talk to literally any form of therapist and also Paz promptly. But I also think Boba deserves to spiral, as a treat.)

Oh man, me too, we're terrible people 😅

If you want to make this even worse: Fennec HAS been talking to people-- quite by accident and it's not the same, but she and Drash have an unofficial mentorship that Fennec will never acknowledge. She has more patience for the young woman, sees potential in her and likes what she stands for. Drash also helps Fennec accept her new body during patrols where they talk. Even if they talk around whatever's clearly bothering Fennec, she's talking to someone. It helps.

Boba grows more and more isolated. He spends a lot of time with the Rancor in his cage, petting and murmuring to the creature, pensively. The creature's presence is a balm, gently head-butting and nuzzling him. Recent events spiral over and over in his head towards darker and darker outcomes, and nobody is there to break the cycle.

What does he think he's doing trying to rule somewhere as old and lawless as Tatooine? Wanting better for hunters and mercenaries doesn't equip Boba to govern a planet. A city. To think he has any idea how to start a family.

"Be better than Jabba," he thought, but that was a very low bar to pass.

Maybe it doesn't help he complicated Family with family. There's a reason why some people separate work and pleasure. When some of the people who enforce his orders became the same ones who shared his bed at night, he should have known it could get messy. Fennec tried to warn him. It was probably selfish. He thought he could have it all. Instead, it's brought out terrible qualities he didn't think he had in him.

That's not who he wants to be.

It was reprehensible enough that he entangled Fennec and Paz in his choices. He will never forgive himself for what happened with Din. It's no wonder Paz no longer feels safe with him; his poor, sweet puppy.

Is there any way to truly recover and move on from that? Would Boba even deserve it?

There's a dark fist that closes in the pit between Boba's lungs and gut whenever he asks himself that question, wrenching mercilessly. He thinks he knows the answer. He hopes he has the courage to set them free. Or maybe just remove himself from the equation.

First, he needs to learn if Cobb would ever consider a career change to the big city.