#yep bad is just SOME WEIRDO guy that does WEIRD STUFF | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nikki-writes-stuff · 5 years ago

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At the Edge of the Woods (Werewolf!Steve x Reader)

Summary: When you move into a cottage on the edge of the forest, you’re ready to start a new life in a new, quiet town. But when you attract the attention of Steve Rogers, a man who everyone in town seems to dislike and fear, your world is turned upside down after he decides that you belong to him.

Pairing: Werewolf/Alpha!Steve x Omega!Reader

Read part two here!

A/N: Hey, guys! So a couple warnings about this one: it contains stalking, a/b/o dynamics, non-con, dub-con, breeding kink, and a whole lotta sin. Also, this is my first time writing anything with alpha/omega stuff in it, so be kind! And let me know if you liked it or if there’s anything I need to work on when writing about this sorta thing. Thank you so much, and enjoy!

It was love at first sight. From the moment you laid eyes on the cottage, you knew it would become your home. The thing was tiny, barely any bigger than a shack, and it was a good fifteen minutes’ drive from the nearest sign of civilization. But you didn’t care; you were enamored with the thick layer of ivy that had overtaken the western wall of the structure, and there were huge bushes of honeysuckle growing along the edge of the forest just a few feet from the backdoor.

And when your real estate agent told you the price of the property, the deal was immediately sealed.

“You’re kidding,” you’d deadpanned. “That’s all?”

“Yep,” she’d grinned, clutching her binder of properties tight against her chest. “Quite the bargain, huh?”

“I mean… Yeah,” you’d laughed. “It must be too good to be true. What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, structurally,” she began, “The plumbing is on the older side of things, but it passed inspection. Same goes for the heating and air conditioning. There’s been a bit of a rodent problem in the past, but the appraiser said that a few mouse traps should do the trick to take care of that.”

Her smile had fallen at that point, though, and she shifted on her feet as she considered her next words.

“What is it?” you’d prompted.

“Well… The thing is,” she said sheepishly, “The locals have this superstition about the woods in this area. People say that they’re, uh…haunted.”

“…Haunted?”

You were barely able to contain an amused grin from overtaking your face, and with a shrug you turned back toward the kitchen, admiring the view of the trees through the little window above the stove.

“I know, it’s pretty weird,” the agent chuckled. “But people around here really do believe it. Something about an urban legend. I will say, though, that coyotes and wolves are known to roam around at night, so that’s probably where the paranoia comes from. Just try not to go out after dark. And if you get any chickens or outdoor animals, I’d keep them inside a kennel.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you assured her. “I’m not exactly a farmer. I’m just looking for a place to settle down.

“And I think this cottage is the perfect spot.”

A month later, after the papers were signed and your possessions were moved in, you found yourself happier than you’d ever been in your new abode. You’d purchased house plants and artwork, designing the small space until it was exactly to your liking. You’d even decided to take up gardening, and your tiny back porch had become dotted with pots filled with flourishing herbs.

You fell into an easy routine. On Mondays, you would venture into town, picking up groceries from the local mart and picking up any other supplies you needed. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays were dedicated to your work; you were the owner and manager of a blog that had become an overnight success several months ago, and so you spent those days curled up in the cottage, typing away at your laptop and creating content.

The only strange thing thus far had been the town residents’ reaction to you. Everyone was friendly, of course, and they’d made it clear that small town hospitality was a value the entire population seemed to share, but you weren’t oblivious to the way they side-eyed you. No one ever looked suspicious, per se, more like…expectant. Like they were waiting for you to say or do something, though you had no idea what it could be.

Earl, the bookstore owner, was by far one of the friendliest people you’d ever met, and after four weeks of the bizarre treatment, you finally asked him about it.

“Oh, don’t mind us,” he waved you off, sliding your new books into a paper bag. “It’s just that no one’s ever lasted long in that cottage o’ yours.”

“…Well, that’s a bit…unsettling. What happened to them?”

“Nothing,” he was quick to assure you. “Nothing bad happens to ‘em. It’s not like they’ve gotten hurt or anything. It’s just that, uh… Well. Strange things seem to happen in that part o’ the woods at night, and it’s scared the last couple o’ tenants off.”

“Huh… My real estate agent did mention something like that,” you admitted, starting to feel an irrational spark of apprehension. “What kind of things did they see?”

“Well… I don’t wanna scare you away,” he grumbled, scratching at his salt-and-pepper beard.

“I promise you won’t. I really like where I’m at right now. I’m just…curious, I guess.”

Earl seemed to consider it for a moment before giving in.

“Alright,” he sighed. “But for the record, I don’t believe any of the silly nonsense some folks ‘round here like to gossip about. This is a quiet town – a safe town. The only dangerous thing about this place is Mary Jo’s strawberry rhubarb pie down at the soda shop – I swear those things are the reason I got diabetes.”

You chuckled at Earl, and he gave you a warm smile before leaning towards you over the counter, propping himself up on his elbow.

“So, anyways, back to your house,” he started. “The last people there were this younger couple. They were nice kids – had just gotten hitched. But after a few weeks, they said they started noticin’ howls at night. Now, that’s normal for this area; we’ve got some wolves. But these howls were close, so loud that it woke em’ up most nights.

“Then, they started seeing people walking around the property around midnight. It coulda’ been that they were smokin’ some stuff they shouldn’a been smokin’, but they swore up and down that they saw naked men traipsin’ around. One time, there was one on their back porch, and the husband ran out to chase him off, but as quick as they saw him, he vanished.

“Again, I don’t know if I believe all of that junk,” Earl huffed. “But… the old lady who lived there before the couple said the same thing before she passed away, god rest her soul. And ol’ Lizzy didn’t lie about this sorta thing.”

You made a quiet hum of contemplation, nodding.

“Well,” you eventually spoke, “if I see any naked men hanging around, I have my handy dandy taser.”

A wide grin broke out over the older man’s face, and he reached over the counter to cuff your shoulder.

“Thata girl,” he chuckled. “I like it. And if you do see people hangin’ around on your property, give me a call, ok?” He fumbled around for a business card, eventually opening the cash register and pulling one out. “Call the bottom number if anyone gives you trouble, ok? I know I’m not the most intimidating guy around, but I keep a shotgun at the house just in case. And if the wolves become a problem, call the police. They’ll send some guys over from animal control to chase ‘em off.”

“Thanks, Earl,” you smiled, tucking the card into your wallet. “Oh, and before I forget, do you have any stationary? Letter writing paper, colored pens, that sort of thing?”

“I’m afraid we don’t. Oh, but Greg and Lou would probably have some. Try their art supply store; it’s right around the corner on the left side o’ the road.”

With that, you thanked Earl and walked out, clutching your paper bag of novels to your chest. You had to admit that the idea of wolves on your property was starting to scare you, but the thought of a naked guy just hanging out in the woods was enough to make you laugh to yourself. Even if it was true, you’d dealt with weirdos before. If that was the worst of your problems, then you’d be a happy camper.

You followed Earl’s instructions and immediately spotted a quaint store with a sign over the door reading “The Brushstroke”. Upon walking inside, you were greeted by the smell of paper and ink, and papier mache mobiles were hanging from the ceiling every few feet, dancing in the breeze that had flown in after you opened the door. Two men were standing behind the counter, sipping from steaming mugs of tea, and their heads popped up as you walked in.

“Hey, there!” one of them called, giving you a wave. “Welcome; come on in.”

“Hello,” you replied with a smile.

“We haven’t seen you around before,” the other man remarked, a kind smile on his face. “You wouldn’t happen to be the new girl in town, would you?”

“Word spreads quickly, I guess.”

“It does when you live in a town like this,” he nodded. “I’m Lou, by the way. And this is my husband Greg.”

Greg nodded in greeting, and you gave them a wide smile.

“It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“Likewise, hon. Can we help you find anything?”

You told them what you were looking for, and they instructed you towards the back of the store, where you found a wall filled with rows of neat packets of paper right next to a cubby of pens of all types and colors. You took your time in making your selections, not even noticing the door of the shop opening and closing; it was only when you heard Greg and Lou’s quiet conversation come to an abrupt halt that you glanced around the corner to see what was going on.

Your eyes widened when you saw the man standing in front of the counter; he was tall, maybe a few inches over six foot, and built like a tank. A thick, well-groomed beard adorned his face, and his hair was on the longer side, curling just past his ears in thick, easy waves. Despite the chilly weather outside, he was only dressed in a blue long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans, and you watched his biceps bulge under the fabric as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“…Steve,” Greg finally said. “Long time no see.”

The man – Steve, evidently – nodded his head as he approached the counter.

“Wh-what can we do for you?” Lou asked, seeming to shrink back as he walked towards them.

“I need a new sketchbook,” Steve mumbled, almost too quietly for you to hear. His voice was deep, resonating, and something about its gravelly edge made goosebumps rise up over your arms.

“You know where to find ‘em,” Greg stated after clearing his throat. “Just get whatever you need and go.”

It looked as if Steve was about to say something, but after a pause, he just nodded, ducking his head and turning directly towards you. You stiffened as he grew nearer, feeling an unexplainable urge to turn and run away from him, but then his eyes met yours, and you were frozen in place.

Blue irises stared directly into you, and you watched as surprise washed over his features. His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath in through his nose, and you swore that you saw his pupils dilate as he looked you up and down. When his gaze finally met yours again, and you stumbled back a step, stunned at the look on his face. It was as if he knew you.

But that couldn’t be; you’d never seen this man before. If you had, you definitely would’ve remembered him.

“I-I…” you stuttered. “I’m sorry.”

You weren’t sure what you were apologizing for, but all of a sudden you were broken out of your strange stupor. Fixing your eyes firmly on the floor, you turned and blindly grabbed the first stack of papers that your extended hand came in contact with. You did the same with the pens, grabbing a random pack before turning on your heel and heading towards the front.

Or, rather, heading directly into a broad, firm chest. You hadn’t heard any footsteps, but while your back was turned Steve had apparently stalked up behind you, and now you were so close that you could smell the distinct scent of pine wafting off of him. Pine and…something else, something musky. It made your mouth water and your eyes flutter shut, and you could have sworn that you heard a deep growl sound from his chest.

The noise startled you so badly that you dropped everything, even your paper bag from Earl’s, and you felt as if your entire body was trembling as you turned away. On unsteady feet, you walked back to the front, glancing at Greg and Lou out of the corner of your eye as you headed towards the door. Lou was watching you with a concerned expression painted across his face, but Greg was still staring Steve down, as if he were sizing him up.

The cold, early-spring wind hit you square in the face once you exited the store, and it sobered you up enough to cease your nervous trembling. There was still a sense of blind panic, though, a deep-seated fear that drove you to march over to your car without turning back.

As you peeled out of your parking space and sped towards your home, you slowly began to calm down, taking slow, even breaths to slow the frantic beating of your heart. As you put more and more distance between you and the mysterious man from the art store, you found that, even later on when you were safe in your home, you still couldn’t rationalize why you’d felt the way you had. And that evening, when you were getting ready to go to bed, you couldn’t help but feel like you were being watched.

Typically, you kept the curtains in your bedroom open, enjoying the sight of the forest laying just beyond the panes of glass. But tonight, before going to bed, you drew them shut before burrowing under the covers, hiding away from the lingering, unexplainable dread that had followed you home that day.

____________

You weren’t sure what had woken you. When you jolted out of your slumber, you were laying sprawled out over your mattress, your sheets tangled around your ankles. Everything was quiet, unsettlingly so. It was as if your cottage was holding its breath, waiting for something horrible to happen. The world was black beyond your windows, and the clock on your bedside table read 3:42 in the morni-

Wait.

The lingering tendrils of sleep within your brain melted away as you bolted upright, your wide eyes focused on your windows and the curtains that were neatly pulled away from them. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you slowly, deliberately, stood up from your bed, reaching for your phone blindly as you kept your eyes on the windows.

You drew the curtains closed as your thumb hovered over the emergency call button, and you gulped before turning towards your open bedroom door.

“H-hello?” you called out, voice still thick with sleep.

There was no answer, and you took a deep breath before stepping out into the living room. You were relieved to find nothing out of place; the kitchen, as well, was in perfect order, as was your tiny bathroom. You grew bolder as you searched your house, checking underneath your bed and inside of your wardrobe, but still you found nothing.

Eventually, you sauntered over to your back door, and that’s when you smelled it. Smelled him. The same scent that had flooded your senses back at the bookstore was thick in the air right next to the backdoor. You blinked rapidly, feeling a stirring in your gut as you inhaled it, and you gulped as you faced the door.

“…Steve?” you murmured, suddenly unable to make a sound any louder than a whisper.

Without realizing what you were doing, your hand came up to the doorknob, tracing the curve of it with your thumb. A tiny, experimental twist revealed that it wasn’t locked, and a small voice in the back of your head supplied that it was sure you’d locked it before going to sleep.

One more twist, and the door popped open, goosebumps rising up over your skin as the night air rushed over you. You turned on the porch light with a flick of your fingers and stepped out, wincing when the floorboards creaked under your feet. You half expected to see a naked man standing there just as Earl had said, but there was nobody.

You let out a shaky laugh, leaning against the doorway as your eyes flitted over the forest. You felt silly, getting all paranoid for no reason. With a small, sheepish smile, you straightened up and turned to head back inside, eager to climb back under your warm sheets and forget about the whole thing.

But that was when you saw it.

You stopped in your tracks and sucked in a deep breath as the wolf sauntered out from the tree line, its eyes focused directly on you just as yours were focused on it. Its fur was sandy and mottled with streaks of light brown and creamy white, and in the dim light you thought that you caught a flash of blue in its eyes. You took a step backwards as that same smell washed over you, and for a short, fleeting moment, you thought that there was something familiar about the beast.

It took another step towards you, and that was when you realized how massive it was. You’d seen pictures of wolves on the internet; you knew how big they were supposed to be compared to people. But this was another thing completely; this wolf looked to be the size of a grizzly bear, and you knew that if it were to stand up on its two hind legs, it would tower over you.

Abruptly, you broke out of your paralysis, blinking rapidly as you turned back towards your door. You heard a growl from behind you, but you ignored it as you fled back into your house, slamming the door shut and turning the lock back into place. A thud sounded on its other side, followed by the scratching of claws against wood.

You waited several moments, silently begging the animal to stop, but the thumping only carried on, accompanied by muted, distressed whining. Taking a deep breath, you turned to your phone, punching in ‘911’ and holding the device up to your ear.

“911, where is your emergency?”

“U-um… I-I’m at 432 Nottington Lane. Please, there’s this, this wolf outside and it’s trying to get it, and…”

As you spoke, the noises suddenly stopped. You paused, frowning at the door and straining your ears. But everything had once more gone silent.

“Hello, ma’am? Ma’am, are you still there?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m still here. Um… I think it’s gone now. It’s… Yeah, it’s gone. I’m really sorry to bother you guys. Just, uh… Just ignore this call, please. I’m sorry.”

You hung up and set your phone down on the kitchen counter, staring hard at your back door.

“…Shit.”

_______________

You didn’t close your curtains again after that night. You told yourself it was because there was no reason to, that you had nothing to hide yourself from. But, in the back of your mind, you knew that it was because you were too afraid of waking up with them open of someone else’s accord.

Two days went by with no further incident. You kept up with your little routine, throwing yourself into your work and acting as if you weren’t still shaken up from the ordeal. You called Earl and let him know you’d seen a wolf, just like he’d said, and the two of you had laughed over the scare it had given you. But the laughter didn’t reach your eyes or your heart, and it was still hard for you to fall asleep whenever night came around.

On the third day, though, you decided that you needed to get out. Every time your eyes strayed to the forest, you felt a pinprick of anxiety, and you were desperate to forget about what had happened. And so, dressing in your most comfortable leggings and oversized sweater, you ventured out into town, stopping for breakfast at the soda shop.

Mary Jo’s Soda Shop had been open and owned by Mary Jo herself since before you were born. It was located right in the center of town, and it was the closest thing to ‘busy’ that the small township’s population could be capable of. The front porch was lined with old, worn rocking chairs, and empty planter boxes sat beneath every single window; you were sure that they’d be overflowing with petunias as the weather turned warmer.

The atmosphere was warm and cozy as you stepped inside. People of all different races and walks of life found solace under Mary’s roof, and it was clear by the easy smiles, easy laughter, and easy conversation that pervaded the dining room. A teenaged girl, who you’d later find out to be Mary Jo’s granddaughter, showed you to your table and took your order, and as you settled down into the cracked-leather seat of your booth, you found yourself finally relaxing.

It was easy to get lost in your own thoughts, especially with the dull roar of voices and the soft sounds of country music playing over the radio as background noise. You stared off into space as you sipped your orange juice, content to just zone out for a few moments and let your brain go on autopilot.

Maybe that was why it startled you so much when a man abruptly slid into the seat across from you. You were pulled out of your revelry by a dark shadow suddenly appearing in your peripheral vision, and your initial fright only deepened when you looked up to see who it was.

“Steve…”

The man from yesterday was staring you down, dressed this time in a red and black flannel. His hair, too, looked like it had been combed out, and his beard was shiny and soft-looking, as if he’d rubbed oil into it that morning.

You didn’t know what to say as he sat across from you, his fingers laced together on top of the table, and for an uncomfortably long moment, the two of you were completely silent.

“What’s your name?” he finally asked, and you arched your eyebrow at him.

“Why do you want to know?”

A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he let out a long sigh through his nose. He didn’t answer your question, and you started to shift in your seat as he continued to stare.

Finally, you told him, murmuring your name under your breath. Upon hearing it, he nodded, finally glancing up when your waitress came back to take your order. When her eyes fell onto the man seated across from you, she visibly paled, her mascara-lined eyes widening as her smile turned to a grimace.

“Mr. Rogers,” she said timidly, “my grandmother told you not to come in anymore-“

“It’ll be fine, Rosie,” he grunted. “I won’t cause any trouble; I’m just talking with (Y/N), here.”

Rosie looked over to you, and you blinked up at her, hoping your incredulity was showing through in your eyes.

“I… I’m not sure…”

Steve huffed and looked over at you, a predatory edge appearing in his visage.

“Go on,” he encouraged you. “Tell her.”

“I really don’t-“

Suddenly, his scent was flooding your senses once more, and you almost gagged on your words as you breathed it in. You wondered why Rosie didn’t seem to notice it as it washed over you, nearly suffocating in its intensity.

“I, uh…” Your voice trailed off distractedly, and Steve’s knee nudged yours under the table.

“I-it’s fine,” you finally managed to stutter, and a pleased smirk appeared over his features.

“See? Everything is fine,” he insisted. “Now, weren’t you coming to take our orders?”

Rosie hesitated, but finally she slipped a notepad out of her pocket and nodded.

“Perfect. I’ll have the sampler with crispy bacon. Eggs over easy. And, uh… a biscuit on the side,” Steve listed off.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat, prompting you to jump a little before telling Rosie what you would like.

“Oh! Uh… I’ll have the same,” you muttered, though you hadn’t really been planning on eating anything of the sort.

But Rosie jotted it down in her notepad, all but fleeing to the kitchen after you were done speaking.

“And I’ll take some coffee!” Steve called after her.

When it was finally just the two of you, he once again gave you his full attention, and you fought to keep your mind straight.

“I don’t…know you,” you mumbled, squeezing your eyes shut. “I don’t know you, and you’re making me uncomfortable. Please, just-“

“I really liked the nightgown you had on last night.”

Your eyes bugged open, and your head shot up to look at him. You felt your blood run cold as he watched you with that same smirk he’d worn while ordering Rosie around, and you clutched your purse tighter to yourself.

“Wh…What did you just say?”

“You heard me,” he insisted. “How are you liking living in that cottage? The last few people there-“

“What the fuck,” you interrupted. “You…you were watching me?”

He sighed at your interruption but nodded, leaning forward on his elbows.

“And you were watching me.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I never saw you, or I would’ve called the cops-“

“But you did see me,” he insisted. “While I was in my other form.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but then understanding came over you, and you shook your head.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered. “You mean…the wolf?”

Steve nodded, looking up when Rosie came back with his coffee. She all but slammed the cup on the table, spilling a few drops of the beverage as she poured it. After shooting him a sour glare, she turned on her heel to attend to the other tables around you, the occupants thereof starting to notice who you were sitting with. The din of voices had gone just a bit quieter as they watched him, and you were starting to realize that the entire town knew who Steve was, and judging on the locals’ reaction to him, his reputation wasn’t on the favorable side of things.

“So… Let me get this straight,” you deadpanned, watching as Steve took a sip from his steaming mug. “You’re saying that you were the wolf I saw?”

He nodded, swallowing his coffee.

“I’m among the last of my kind,” he sighed, tapping his fingers against his cup. “At least in this area of the country. But, yeah, that was me, scratching at your door. I was honestly a little hurt by your reaction-“

“You’re fucking insane.”

A scowl overtook his features, and his hands tensed as his fingers went still.

“I would really prefer it,” he growled, “if you didn’t use that sort of language with me, Omega.”

“Ome- What?” You shook your head, unable to process how insane this man really was. “Ok, I’m done here.”

You grabbed your purse and stood up from the booth, but a hand clamped down on your upper arm as you made for the front door.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Steve insisted, and you felt fear course through you at how possessive he’d just sounded. “We have a lot we need to talk about.”

“Let go of me!” You tried to pull away from him, but you might as well have been struggling against an iron chain. Steve didn’t budge as he held you in place, and a whimper escaped your throat as he began pulling you to sit next to him in the booth.

“Steve.”

Both of you froze when you heard the voice, and you looked up to see three men standing over your table, frowning at the man who still had a firm hold on you.

“Steve, let the girl go,” one of them said, and you saw Steve’s lip curl out of the corner of your eye.

“Rhodey,” he grunted. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Not long enough,” the man fired back.

For a second, you were afraid that Steve was going to ignore them, but then his grip on you disappeared. You hurriedly stood up again, backing away until you were out of arm’s reach from him. The entire restaurant was silent as everybody within held their breath, watching Rhodey and Steve stare one another down.

“This isn’t any of your business,” Steve said, and it was then that you realized you couldn’t wait there any longer. You didn’t care how it played out; you just wanted to get out of there.

And so, while everyone was distracted, you turned on your heel and slipped out, pushing past the front door, running past the rocking chairs and planter boxes, crossing the street without first looking both ways. Your heart was pounding a mile a minute, and you didn’t fully know where you were running to until you were standing in the entry way of Earl’s bookstore.

“Hey, there,” he called out to you, but his typical cheerful greeting died on his tongue when he saw your face. “What happened?”

Twenty minutes later, you and Earl were seated in his office. You’d told him everything, save for the way Steve’s scent affected you. You knew it was crazy, and you didn’t want one of your only friends in your new town to think you were as insane as your stalker.

“…Shit.”

It was the first word he’d uttered since you began telling him your tale, and he rubbed his forehead as he took in your story.

“Shit. I mean… I always knew there was something off about that Rogers boy,” he admitted. “But he’s never pulled anything like this.”

You quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at him.

“Why does everyone dislike him?” you asked. “It seems like the whole town has something against him.”

Your friend sighed and sat back in his chair, stroking his beard in thought.

“It didn’t used to be that way,” he started. “Steve, he grew up here. He was always the golden boy – never cursed, never acted disrespectful. Hell, he was a boy scout for years, and all throughout high school he was the team quarterback. He won so many games that he became a local celebrity.

“But, uh… Well. Shit hit the fan the day he turned 18.”

You frowned; you couldn’t picture the crazy, creepy man you’d just been borderline-assaulted by as a popular, polite teenager.

“What happened when he turned 18?” you asked.

Earl hesitated, wringing his hands. For a pregnant pause, he didn’t say anything, but finally he took a deep breath.

“Look, I don’t personally have anything against the guy,” he finally huffed. “But even I get the creeps when I’m around him. That boy, he was never the same after that fourth of July. Hell, the town hasn’t been the same since.”

You raised your eyebrows expectantly, and finally Earl began the story.

“Steve’s folks were a nice couple. He was their only kid, so each year, Sarah and Joseph would throw Steve this big birthday party. I’m talkin’ fireworks, barbeque, the whole nine yards. But his 18th birthday outdid them all; the whole town practically showed up for it.

“But Steve was off the entire day; I think he was sick or something. He was real sweaty, and his eyes were all…red. Like he’d been scratchin’ at ‘em. And when the fireworks started goin’ off… The boy lost it.

“It was like a flip switched in him; next thing we knew, he was takin’ off into the woods, holdin’ his head like his skull was gonna split in two. His mama went runnin’ after him, and then his pops went to get ‘em after about five minutes or so when there was no sign of them comin’ back.

“After half an hour, we went searchin’ for ‘em, and it wasn’t till dawn that we found the three of them.”

Earl took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes with a trembling hand as he recalled the memory.

“I was in the team that found his parents, and… Hon, they were butchered. The bodies, they were hardly recognizable. Big bites had been taken outta them; blood was everywhere. Another team found Steve about half a mile away, completely naked and shivering by the river.”

“Oh, my god,” you murmured. “That’s… That’s horrible.”

Your friend nodded gravely, but he wasn’t done yet.

“We all figured that it was a coyote that got ‘em,” he continued. “Or a wolf. But Steve… He was in shock, you see, so take what I’m about to say with a grain o’ salt. But all the way to the police station, he kept sayin’… He kept sayin’, ‘I didn’t mean to kill them… I didn’t mean to kill them.’

“O’ course, no one really believed him; it was clear that an animal had gotten to them, and this was Steve Rogers we were talking about. The kid had never said an unkind word to anyone. And his family got along great.

“A few years passed, and Steve was never the same, but we expected as much. Everyone was still nice to him, and he tried for a while, you know? But then Peggy moved into town.”

“Who’s Peggy?”

“She was this real nice girl – British. She moved with her family to the area. Shoot, she was a firecracker. Didn’t take any shit from nobody; the whole town fell in love with her. Including poor ol’ Stevie.

“When the two started dating, we were thrilled for ‘em. Steve was finally starting to act more like himself; you shoulda seen him. The kid was head over heels, and she was the same. About six months went by, and we really thought that they were gonna make it.

“But then…”

Earl swallowed thickly, eyes darting back up to your face before resting once again on his hands.

“Peggy was found one day in the woods, just like Steve’s parents – mauled, butchered…dead.”

“Jesus Christ…”

“No one saw or heard from Steve for years after that. The kid just vanished into thin air without warning. And so soon after Peggy’s death, well… You can imagine the rumors that started flying around about him. Five years went by, and that was when people started hearing and seeing strange things in the woods. And your cottage, it’s right by where the bodies were found; you can’t be more than a quarter of a mile from where they found Peg.

“Eventually, Steve moved back into town, though no one recognized him. He’d always been a skinny, lean kinda guy, but when he moved back, he looked like he does now. And even if he hadn’t changed so much on the outside, no one would’ve recognized the polite young man we’d all watched grow up in this new Steve. He was mean; I can’t tell you how many fights he got in at the bar, or how many times he lashed out at someone just to have an excuse to throw some punches.

“Whatever happened to his family and his girl, he’s never been the same since. And if he really believes what he told you earlier at the soda shop, then he’s finally lost his mind.”

___________

You spent the night at Earl’s house. He and his wife set up their guest bedroom for you, and as you and Sherry ate dinner, Earl called the sheriff. You listened in as he told him everything that Steve had done, including watching you the night before, and after ending the call, Earl gave you the sheriff’s number.

“He said to call him at the first sign of trouble,” Earl instructed. “And he said that he’s gonna head over to Steve’s cabin to have a nice, long talk with him. Don’t you worry; Sheriff Wilson is a tough son of a bitch, and he’s a great man. You’re in good hands with him.”

You thanked the couple profusely, and you were finally able to sleep restfully through the night, knowing that you weren’t alone. You didn’t even mind that you could hear Earl and Sherry’s snoring from all the way down the hall; you hadn’t had such a good night’s sleep in days.

The next morning, Sheriff Wilson stopped by after Sherry had served up breakfast, and you had to admit that you did feel better after talking to him.

“So I set everything straight with Steve,” Sam explained. “He said that he’d been drunk that morning at breakfast, and he admitted to saying some things that he regretted. He asked me to apologize to you on his behalf, and he said that he would stay away from you from here on out, if it would make you more comfortable.”

“I’d be more comfortable if he moved to a different country altogether, but I’ll take it,” you’d joked weakly, coaxing a laugh out of the sheriff.

“Well, I’ll run it by him the next time we see each other,” he’d chuckled. “But for now, I think you’ll be just fine.”

After helping Sherry clean up from breakfast, you reluctantly got into your car and started back to your cottage, feeling your short-lived relief start to dwindle away as you approached your home. Who’s to say that Steve would stay true to his word? And there was something about the memory of him calling you ‘omega’ that didn’t sit well with you. You had no idea what that meant, but the conviction, the possessive, commanding tone in his voice still made shivers crawl up and down your spine.

Once you stepped into your cottage, you gave each room a cursory once-over, making sure nothing was out of place before plopping down onto your couch with your laptop. You were severely behind on work, and you needed the distraction to calm your nerves.

Before you knew it, the sun was starting to slip over the horizon, and as the evening turned to night, your eyelids started drooping. You’d finally managed to catch up on work, and although it took you until 9 o’clock at night, you were back on schedule with your blog.

Finally giving in to your sleepiness, you stood up and stretched before methodically going around to each door and window, making sure that they were all closed and locked. After once more checking that Steve wasn’t hiding in your wardrobe, shower, or backyard, you relaxed and went into your bedroom, changing into a flannel pajama set before crawling into bed.

Sleep came easily to you that night, but it didn’t stay for long.

_________

It was, once again, just after 3 in the morning when you woke up, although there was something different about this time around. There was an almost electric charge to the air, and it immediately made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You sat up in bed and looked around your room, and even though the curtains were still closed, just as you’d left them, you immediately noticed the smell.

Your hand fell onto your nightstand, blindly fumbling for your phone, but it wasn’t where you’d left it. Panic pierced through you, and you frantically reached for your charging chord, but it was no longer plugged into your cell. There was, however, something new sitting on your bedside table, and you flicked your lamp on to see clearly what it was.

Your blood went cold when you saw the paper bag from Earl’s, still filled with your new books, just as you’d left it in the art shop.

“I’d been meaning to give that back to you.”

A scream tore itself out of your lips, and your hand flew up to clap over your mouth as you turned to the man now leaning in your doorway.

Steve was watching you with an amused smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. His hair was wild, and you noticed the way his chest rose and fell with quick, uneven breaths. He looked…unhinged, and Earl’s voice started ringing in your ears, telling you all the gory details about the deaths that had followed this man through his life.

“Steve, please,” you begged, pressing your back against your headboard. “I don’t know what you want-“

“Oh, c’mon,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You’re a smart girl; I’m sure you can put two and two together.”

With that, he pushed off of the wall and sauntered towards you, ignoring the way you trembled as he took a seat on the edge of your bed.

“I read your blog, by the way,” he remarked. “I actually liked it; you’ve got a talent with writing.”

You gulped, not sure what to say as he turned to face you. For a moment, something flashed through his eyes, something other than the smug cynicism that usually dwelled there, but he looked away before you could get a good look at it.

“I’m sure Earl told you a lot of things about me,” he murmured. “And I’m sorry that’s how you had to hear them. But I’m not… I don’t want to hurt you. Honestly.”

“Wow, that really puts me at ease,” you grumbled. “It definitely makes the fact that you’ve broken into my house twice now totally ok.”

Steve huffed, and annoyance crossed his handsome features.

“Careful, omega,” he grunted. “I’m trying to be nice, here.”

You wanted to snap at him that he should really try harder, then, but you kept your mouth shut, knowing that you didn’t want to anger him if you didn’t have to.

“…Why do you keep calling me that?” you instead asked, and the fire in his gaze cooled just a bit.

“…I’ve given this a lot of thought,” he finally sighed. “And I can understand why this all sounds so crazy; if I were in your situation, I would probably think the same thing. But just… hear me out, ok? I’m going to tell you everything I know.”

You nodded, hugging your knees to your chest, and after another deep breath he began.

“I used to be normal, or so I thought,” he began. “I used to be like you; I didn’t know what was out there. I didn’t know that certain legends that we’ve all learned to accept as fiction were actually based on fact. But that all changed on my 18th birthday.

“That was the day that I first turned into a wolf.” Steve paused, looking pained for a moment, but after swallowing thickly he continued. “I had no clue what was happening to me. I just felt…wrong, like I was being torn apart from the inside. I fought to keep control of myself, but… I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“People got hurt; I’m sure you’ve been told all the gritty details. But that wasn’t… It wasn’t me. I tried so hard, so goddamn hard, to keep it inside, bottled up, but eventually I couldn’t hold back anymore. And that was when I left.

“I went looking for people like me. It took me a while, but eventually I found a small group of them in New York. They called themselves the Howling Commandos.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head.

“Not the name I would’ve chosen, but they were good people. They helped me control it, taught me how to remain myself even when I’m in my other form. And I learned more about what it means to be a, uh…

“Werewolf.”

You bit your lip, staring at him as you grew even more fearful; he believed this. You could tell by the way his eyes were glistening with barely-contained tears, and if you weren’t so terrified of him, you would feel sorry for how sad he looked.

“Steve, you… you must realize that this is hard for me to believe, right? I mean… This isn’t Twilight; this is the real world.”

He rolled his eyes at the mention of that book.

“There’s about a thousand things wrong with that fucking story, and I’ll die mad about it,” he muttered under his breath, and you hugged yourself tighter as he stood up.

“You want me to prove it to you? Fine.”

Steve stood still for a long moment, closing his eyes, and you found your gaze straying to the door behind his back. He was distracted, evidently focused on transforming into a fucking wolf, oblivious to you as you slowly moved to set your feet on the floor.

Now is your moment, your brain whispered, and after taking a deep breath, you leapt to your feet. You didn’t notice the way his skin was slowly starting to grow patches of blonde fur, nor did you register that his voice had become more of an animalistic growl as he realized that you were trying to run. You were solely focused on making it out alive.

The back door was closer to you than the front, and you could practically feel Steve’s breath on the back of your neck as he gave chase, and so you nearly yanked the door off of its rusty, old hinges as you went flying out onto the back porch. You just barely managed to close the door behind you, and right before it slammed shut, you were able to make out an open maw filled with sharp teeth. The same thumping you’d heard several nights ago sounded from within your home, but with the way the wood was creaking and splintering, you knew it wouldn’t keep Steve trapped inside for long.

You began to run towards your car, but with a curse you realized that your keys were still resting on your coffee table inside the cottage, and you wouldn’t go back inside there if someone offered you a million dollars to. So, fully aware of what a terrible idea it was, you started running down the length of your gravel driveway, the small stones and twigs digging into your feet until you felt them starting to grow slick with blood.

You didn’t get far at all before you heard the sound of a low, deep howl split the silence of the night, and you pumped your legs even faster when you heard heavy footfalls starting to give chase behind you. Frantically, you turned and made a beeline for the forest, hoping to lose him in the woods. Low branches and brambles clawed at your face, and the cuts on your feet burned so bad that tears started rolling down your cheeks.

It was simultaneously an eternity and a millisecond before you felt a massive weight crash into you from behind, and with a cry you fell onto your belly. Your arms and legs scrambled about as you tried to crawl away, but you stopped with another scream when a set of impossibly sharp teeth nipped at your shoulder. Even though they didn’t cut deep, it was still enough to scare you into submission, and you immediately went still as your captor panted above you.

Your chest rose and fell as you fought to catch your breath, but it felt as if your heart had stopped beating entirely when you chanced a look to your right and saw…a paw. A huge, sandy-blonde paw about the size of your head was planted in the mud right next to your neck. You turned, and on your left side was the same thing.

Slowly, you rolled over onto your back, and you found yourself face to face with the wolf from before, only this time, you were close enough to see its blue eyes clearly – Steve’s eyes.

“…Steve?” you breathed.

Before your disbelieving eyes, the animal hovering over you started to shift and change, morphing gradually back into the man who’d terrorized you so much up to this point. Except now, as he straddled your hips, completely nude, you knew that he’d been right all along.

“Still think I’m crazy?” he panted, still out of breath from the chase.

“I… How…”

“I tried to tell you,” he grumbled, leaning down. You squirmed when you felt him press his nose to your neck, nuzzling it as he inhaled deeply, and you whimpered when his cock twitched against your thigh. “God, you have no idea what your scent does to me.”

You made a small noise of protest when his tongue darted out, laving over a spot right under your jaw.

“I thought it was too good to be true, you know,” he groaned, and you let out a noise that was dangerously close to a moan as you realized you could smell him once again. “I thought that people had to be a werewolf to be an alpha or an omega, but as soon as I smelled you in the art shop… Fuck, I knew you were mine.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried to protest, but you were silenced when Steve nipped at your neck.

“We both know that’s not true,” he chided. “We both know what my scent does to you.”

Steve dragged his teeth down the side of your neck, and you shivered at the sensation. You wanted to fight this; you didn’t want to give in to him. But something inside of you refused to do anything but lay there beneath him, panting as he tasted your skin.

“I’ve never been with an omega before,” he confessed. “The Commandos told me they were incredibly rare, a dying breed just like me. But fate must have brought us together for a reason.”

“I’m… I’m not an omega,” you insisted, but a soft mewl fell out of your lips when he ground his hips forward, the line of his cock sliding up the length of your clothed pussy.

“Then why do you have a mating gland?” he rasped, his tongue darting out to lick at a spot on your neck.

“A what?” you squeaked, but suddenly his hands were on your hips, flipping you over onto your hands and knees. His palms groped your ass, and suddenly you felt your pajamas being pulled down until they pooled around your knees.

“I can’t wait any longer,” Steve growled.

No, no, no. Your thoughts were swirling rapidly as Steve’s fingers slid down your spine. You didn’t want this; you weren’t an omega; Steve was crazy.

Why does your body want this so bad?

You couldn’t find the strength to try and crawl away when Steve’s hands left you, but your eyes widened when he suddenly spread your legs wider apart. The cold night air was icy against your cunt and your thighs, and when the warmth of his hands finally returned to your body, you couldn’t hold in your moan.

“That’s right, omega,” he panted, his hand reaching down to cup your pussy. “Fuck, you’re so wet; it’s already dripping down your thighs…”

Your pussy made an embarrassingly loud squelching noise as he pushed his finger inside, and your body’s reaction started drowning out your brain. As he thrust his finger in and out, your hips started pushing back against him as white noise echoed in your ears.

“Mmm,” you whined, clenching your teeth. “M-more, fuck-“

“More?” Steve cooed. “You want more?”

You nodded your head, and a gasp parted your lips as he added another finger, curling it in a way that had you seeing stars. Your legs spread wider, and you dropped to your elbows, pushing back in time with his hand.

“This is what you need,” he growled. “You need your alpha to take care of you, don’t you? To use your pretty little cunt and fill you up with my seed. Ain’t that right, doll?”

“Y-yes,” you moaned, feeling your walls start to flutter around him.

All too soon, though, he pulled his hand away, leaving you hanging on the precipice of your orgasm. You burrowed your face into your arms and whined at the loss, but a few seconds later, Steve was gripping your hips. You could feel his fully hard length against your ass, and your breath caught in your throat upon feeling how big it was.

“W-wait-“

Steve shushed you, tangling one of his hands in your hair as the tip of his cock glided through your folds, brushing against your clit.

“It’s ok, omega,” he whispered. “Just lay back and take it.”

With that, his head pressed against your entrance, and your lips parted in a silent scream as he impaled you. Your cervix ached as his dick pressed against it, and you were vaguely aware of the broken moans falling out of your lips.

“Fuck, doll,” your alpha breathed, and you felt him rest his forehead against your shoulder. “Feels so good, so fucking good. My good girl…”

You groaned when he drew his hips back and thrust forward again, jarring your whole body with the movement. Your teeth clenched together as he found his rhythm, the initial stretch still burning. You’d never felt anything like this before, and the pain was mixing with your pleasure until you couldn’t tell one from the other.

Slowly, as the minutes went by, your abused cunt started to adjust, and your moans became less and less strained as you once more felt pleasure start to crest within you.

“That’s it,” Steve praised, pushing your hair away so he could press a kiss to the side of your neck. “Just relax; let your alpha make you feel good.”

You whimpered as he started thrusting faster, his hips snapping as deep, gravelly growls spilled out of his throat. Your own moans filled the air as you once again felt your orgasm build up inside of you. Your pussy walls contracted and fluttered as you got closer and closer, and Steve’s hand came down hard on your ass.

“Go ahead, omega,” he commanded. “Cum for me; don’t hold back. Give it to me; let me feel it. Cum for me-“

With a wail, your body did as it was commanded, and you trembled as you reached your climax. Your cunt squeezed his cock as he slowed his thrusts, and your hips moved of their own accord as you rode it out. Quiet, hoarse moans were still trailing out of your mouth as you came down from your high, and Steve’s beard tickled your skin as he pressed kisses along the curve of your shoulder.

“Good girl,” he praised, and you were sickened to realize that you enjoyed his words of encouragement.

You were surprised when he pulled his cock out of you, and you allowed him to flip you over onto your back. His cheeks were flushed, and he was panting, and your eyes trailed down to see his cock still painfully hard.

Without warning, he shoved it back inside of you, and your hands flew up, digging your nails into his back as he once again started thrusting at a brutal pace.

“’M gonna fill your fucking pussy up,” he was moaning, his hair falling into his eyes while his mouth hung open. “Gonna breed you like the little bitch you are-“

Despite having just cum, shocks of pleasure spread through you as he filled you, and in this position, you could watch his muscles bulge and flex as he chased his release. His eyes were squeezed shut, and one of his hands was pawing and kneading at your breast as he used the other to support his weight. The veins in his neck throbbed as he grew closer and closer, and you were taken off guard to find that you were approaching your second climax with him.

“You already gonna cum again, baby?” he whispered. “Do it. Give it to me; I want it.”

You closed your eyes and arched up, frenzied moans of yes, please, God, more, I need more, spilling past your lips almost unintelligibly. You were so close – just a little more and you would be pushed over the edge.

Just before you could reach it, though, Steve’s eyes snapped open, focusing on your neck hungrily. You should have felt fear, knowing what he was, what had happened to his parent and his last lover. But instinct took over, and you found yourself tilting your head back, baring your neck to him in a sign of submission.

With a feral growl, he lunged forward, and you shrieked as his teeth pierced your skin, right where he’d claimed earlier your ‘mating gland’ was. You closed your eyes, expecting to feel your life fade away, ready to see blood spurting up from the wound. But that never happened; no, instead you felt as if you’d just been electrified. Every sensation you were feeling was suddenly amplified tenfold, and your vision went black as you came for the second time.

Your ears were ringing, but you were still able to hear the primal roar that Steve let out as he came, painting your inner walls with his seed as hips finally slowed to a stop. For several long seconds, the two of you were perfectly still save for your chests as they rose and fell with your heavy breathing. Steve’s cock began to soften inside of you, but he made no move to pull away. No, instead he collapsed over you, his head resting against your chest as his heated skin shielded you from the cold air.

“You were perfect,” you heard him whisper, and one of his fingers came up to trace the bite mark he’d left behind on your neck. “Your bond scar is gonna be so gorgeous, little omega.”

Sleep threatened to overtake you as you lay there, not truly processing Steve’s words as his weight atop you lulled you towards sleep.

“Go ahead and rest, doll,” he murmured. “I’ll carry you back home, and then we can go again. Don’t worry, doll; I won’t stop until you’re nice and round with my babies.”

You should have felt scared – you should have pulled away and ran into the woods. But instead, you let out a content noise of acknowledgement before doing just as he said. The last thing you registered before slipping into a deep, dreamless slumber was his arms as they wrapped around you and picked you up, carrying you away from the road and into the forest.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #dark!steve rogers x reader #werewolf #werewolf!steve #alpha!steve #omega!reader #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o au #werewolf au

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samwinchestersgf · 4 years ago

Text

obsession (part one)

prompt: “oh my god! he’s obsessed with you!”

warnings: horror, gore, obsessive weirdo, protective sam. nothing worse than what’s in the show, but still unsettling.

pairing: sam x reader

note: any message y/n sends is in ‘’. her other messages are not.

“excuse me?” i clear my throat.

a tall man with smoldering eyes turns around and looks down at me. “hm?”

“this is so random, but could you give me a ride? i’m supposed to be meeting my boyfriend, and i’m really late, and my phone is dead, and i just-“

“sure. but, are you sure you should be getting in the car with a stranger.” he raises an eyebrow, questioning my sanity.

“i noticed the uber sticker on the back of your car.” i point out with a smile.

“y’know, i’m off the clock...” his voice trails off.

i clear my throat, “that’s fine. um, i was just wondering. have a nice day!”

i turn around and awkwardly shuffle awah as the thunder roars even louder. soon, the small mist coming down from the sky will turn into a heavy pour. sam is probably worried sick about me, and i just can’t do anything. there’s no pay phones or anything, and i don’t have is number memorized anyways.

“no!” he calls out to me as i turn around. “i mean, it’s okay, really. i don’t mind.”

the first thick raindrop splashes onto my head. “thank you so much! i can pay you once we’re at his apartment. i just-“

“it’s fine. i’ve been looking for my random act of kindness for the day anyways.” he shrugs, opening the passengers door for me.

i duck in, clutching the knife in my pocket just in case. i might be making a stupid decision by getting in the car with this random man, but it’s my only choice. i may as well being insane in a safe manner.

“how far?” he asks, starting the car.

“only a few minutes. it’s 327 park way.” i respond.

he takes a left. “if you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing out there all alone? it’s, like, 11 pm.”

“he was supposed to meet me at this coffee shop. we, uh-“ i make up a lie on the spot. “we have a lot of college work to do. then, he called and said he wasn’t feeling well and that we should just cancel.”

“so, he left you stranded out there?” he asks.

i shake my head vigorously. “no, i decided to go over to take care of him, and i said i’d be there in a few minutes. well, my phone died so i couldn’t call an uber, so i kept walking. i still had a mile or two to walk, and then i saw you.”

“maybe next time don’t walk in the first place. uber straight where you’re supposed to go, especially at night.” he advises.

“noted.” i laugh.

“if i had a girlfriend, i wouldn’t let her go walking at night alone, even if it was just across the street. this city is full of creeps.” his tone gets a little more serious.

“he normally wouldn’t. he’s just been sick lately.” i assure him. “i’m glad you’re just a normal person though, not a creep.”

“i dunno, i pour my milk before my cereal.” he jokes.

i snort. “you are a creep! you’re a self-aware creep!”

“it’s just better that way.” he throws his hands up in defense, before returning them to the wheel.

“you think cereal is better soggy? god, get me out of the car.” i fake vomit.

“what other reason do people put milk in their cereal?!” he chuckles.

“it’s a flavor enhancer.” i roll my eyes.

“that’s why i add it first.” he points out.

“disgusting.” i huff in a joking manner as he parks the car.

“is this it?” he asks.

i nod. “yep.”

“this is phil’s motels.” he raises an eyebrow.

i rub the back of my neck. “uh, yeah.”

“you said you needed a ride to your boyfriend’s apartment.” he catches on to the lie.

look, i lied a lot. sam’s not my boyfriend, but i told him that he was so that he’d know i was going to see a man, so he wouldn’t try to follow me in. this isn’t his apartment, it’s a shabby motel because we’re on a hunt.

“ummm...” i hesitate.

he laughs. “did you make me drive you here for some shady hookup?”

“no! my boyfriend and i are just traveling.” i lie.

“why didn’t you just saw so?” he tilts his head.

“because of you’re reaction to the motel!” i laugh and smack his arm. “i didn’t want you to think i was a prostitute or something!”

he stares at me for a second. “i never caught your name.”

“it’s y/n. y/n l/n.” i cheesily shake his hand.

“i’m bryan. say, why don’t you let me give you my number so that you know who to call next time you need a ride.” he offers.

i show him my phone. “dead.”

“well, you give me your number, and i’ll next you so you can save my contact when your phone is charged.” he suggests.

“okay, sure.” i grab his phone and type my number in. i hand it back to him. “you know, it’s raining really hard. why don’t you come in and let me make you a coffee while the rain settles?”

“i dunno. maybe your boyfriend wouldn’t-“

i interrupt. “oh, he’s harmless. seriously, let me return the favor.”

“okay, okay.” he agrees, taking his key out of the ignition.

i walk him up to the door, and pull my key from my pocket. i wiggle it into the cheap motel lock and finally get it open. when we get in, i slip my wet shoes and coat on. he keeps his on.

“sam?” i call out.

he comes rushing over from the side room. “holy shit, y/n! i was worried about you.”

“i’m okay, i’m sorry. i’ll explain later.” i frown.

“who are you?” he asks, looking at bryan.

“babe,” i emphasize, hoping he’ll catch on and play along. “this is bryan. he gave me a ride over so i offered him inside for a coffee.”

“um, alright. thanks for getting my girlfriend home safely, bryan.” he shakes his hand.

i walk over to the coffee pot, which is conveniently still hot, and pour some into a mug. he clears his throat.

“actually, um, i think i’ll go.” he says awkwardly.

i turn around and catch sam giving him the death glare. i place the mug on the counter. “are you sure? i promise he doesn’t bite.”

i nudge sam in the shoulder, and he shrugs me off. then, he wraps his arm around my waist, playing into the role. he changes his tone, “the storm is awfully bad out there, bryan.”

“no, um, it’s okay. i have somewhere to be. take care.” he rushes out the door.

i turn to sam. “you’re such an ass.”

“what?” he asks innocently, drinking from the fresh mug of coffee.

“you scared him off!” i laugh.

“he’s a creep, y/n. he was looking at you, and...” his voice trails off.

“and what?” i roll my eyes.

“it was creepy!” he finishes.

“he didn’t have bad intentions, never did. he knew, well, er, thought from the start that you were my boyfriend and still wanted to help me.” i inform him.

sam scoffs. “really? did he give you his number?”

“he tried. my phone is dead, that’s part of the reason i needed a ride.” i answer, shrugging.

“so, there was no number exchanging?” he raises an eyebrow.

“well-“

“y/n! you gave him your number?!” he throws his hands up exasperatedly.

“look, he was nice, okay? he helped me, and i’m still alive!” i argue.

“guys don’t normally kill girls that they’re in love with.” he raises his voice.

“he is not in love with me. we were in the car for 10 minutes tops.” i groan.

he pinches his nose. “i’m telling you, it’s a guy thing. we can just tell.”

“you can’t be in love with someone you don’t know.” i cross my arms.

“tell him that.” he answers smugly.

“you are so weird! he probably won’t even text me.” i tell him.

“plug your phone in. there’s probably already a text.” he hypothesizes.

i do as he says, plugging my phone in. it makes a minute to reboot, and we both sit in silence watching it. once it turns on, i connect to my data, and sure enough, there’s a text.

hey, it’s bryan. i sure hope you didn’t give me a fake number lol

i roll my eyes, “that doesn’t mean anything.”

“it means everything.” he testifies.

i throw my hands up. “you know what, who cares?! maybe he does like me. is there a problem with that?”

“no problem.” he answers quickly. “just super weird.”

i ignore him and text bryan back.

‘haha, no. this is my real number.’

he replies almost instantly.

good, good.

is your boyfriend mad?

i laugh.

‘he’s fine.’

i sit down the phone. “he’s not that weird, sam.”

————————————————

i shiver in my coat. my fingers twirl around the loose strings in my pockets. i really need a new coat, especially if sam and i are gonna keep working cases in chicago in the middle of winter.

i order my coffee at the counter, thanking the barista as i grab it. my small hands are instantly warmed up, and i take a much needed deep breath. i notice how i shake as i do so. is it from the nerves or the cold? i guess i’ll never know.

my phone buzzes in my pocket. it’s sam texting me. unknowingly, i smile and take a seat while texting him back.

everything okay?

‘everything’s great. i got coffee.’

iced?

‘i’m not a maniac. it’s like, 4 degrees out here.’

i sit my phone on the table and take another sip of my coffee.

stay warm, and please don’t get into random guys’ cars.

i roll my eyes and reply. ‘okay, dad’

just looking out for, that’s all.

what coffee shop are you at? i have a minute. i can meet you.

i pick my phone up to reply, but i get distracted by a tap on my shoulder. i turn around, and give my eyes a second to adjust to the person right behind me.

“bryan?” i ask.

“haha, yep. is this seat taken?” he asks, gesturing to the seat in front of me.

“um, no.” i shake my head.

my phone buzzes again. hello? did you fall off the face of the earth?

“you look super cold.” he points out.

i smile meekly. “can you blame me? it’s like, 4 degrees outside.”

“it’s in the 30s, nowhere near as cold as it normally gets.” he chuckles. “you must be from somewhere warm.”

did you get into a stranger’s car again? :/

“i’m not really from anywhere,” i explain. i pick up my phone.

‘haha, super funny.’

“i’m sorry, am i bothering you?” he tilts his head.

i shake my head. “sorry, no. my boyfriend is just blowing up my phone.”

“is he meeting you?” bryan asks.

“no, he’s busy doing stuff.” i respond.

seriously, where are you?

i begin responding, ‘joe’s cof’ but i’m interrupted again before i can send the message.

“stuff?” he raises an eyebrow.

y/n please answer your phone

“yeah, he’s a busy guy.” i smile and nod.

“too busy to meet his girlfriend for coffee?” he takes a slight dig at sam.

you’re worrying me

can you just answer

y/n what the hell answer the phone

“he was going to try. but, yeah, too busy at the moment.” i laugh his insult off.

“you should come back to my place with me! i’ve got the heat on. it’s just down the road.” he suggests.

my phone vibrates on the table. i pick it up and give bryan a sorry look. “that’s him.”

“oh.” he blinks.

“maybe another time. bye, bryan.” i wave and pick up my coffee, and then answer my phone. “hey, baby.”

“can you seriously not answer a text? i was worried about you.” he sounds frantic, but not mad.

i walk out the door of the coffee shop. “i’m sorry. that bryan guy from yesterday was talking to me.”

“talking as in, like, he was actually there?” sam asks.

“yes, he was. don’t start.” i warn him.

“i won’t. can you come to the address i texted you? it’s just a simple ghost case and it’ll be really good to teach you.” he questions.

“yes, i’ll be there.” i agree.

“please don’t ride with bryan.” he emphasizes the word with extra venom.

i scoff, “i won’t.”

79 christopher road.

i show up at the house, and sam is standing outside waiting for me. he smiles, probably because bryan is no where in sight and briefs me about the case. apparently, these people buried their daughter in the backyard, and now she’s haunting them. they went out of town, so its a simple salt and burn.

“now, sometimes when you burn these things, they try to stop you.” he tells me. “so, while i’m doing this, your job is to look out and protect me, okay?”

“right, got it.” i nod as he gives me an iron bar.

it’s already dug up. he coats the body in salt. i don’t watch. then, he drops a match and the body bursts up in flames. it smells very bad.

“sam!” i exclaim as i see an apparition.

“hit it!” he shouts.

i swing the iron rod and it goes fully through the ghost, causing her to disappear. the adrenaline is coursing through my body. i can hear my heart beating so fast that it might jump out of my chest.

“she’ll come back.” he warns.

i swing the rod again, causing her to disappear once more. “she’s angry.”

“we’re killing her. of course she’s angry.” he laughs.

sam just watches as she appears again. he trusts me, and knows what i’m capable of. he knows when he needs to step in, and when i can handle it. right now, he knows i’m able to handle it.

she appears for the third time. i groan and get ready to swing, but she stops mid ‘step’ and bursts into flames. i jump back and watch as she burns and evaporates.

“and, that’s it.” he smiles, high-giving me. “you did really well.”

“this isn’t really a celebration moment, but, just know, i’m excited.” i point out.

he snorts. “right. grab a shovel.”

after reburying the body and leaving the premise as if nothing happened, sam and i take his car back to the motel. my phone buzzes in the car.

did you get where you’re going safely?

‘yeah. i’m good.’

“who are you texting?” sam asks.

“bryan.”

“bryan sure texts you a lot for someone who thinks you have a boyfriend.” he scoffs.

“he’s friendly.” i dismiss him.

that’s good. i’m glad you’re safe.

“what’s he saying?” sam asks.

“wow. in my business, much?” i roll my eyes.

“you’re gonna tell me either way.” he laughs.

i cross my arms. “he was just making sure i got to you safely.”

“oh god!” sam exclaims. “he’s so obsessed with you!”

“he is not!”

“if a guy is making sure you’re safe all the time, it’s because he loves you.” he explains.

“you’re reading too much into it.” i counter.

“i just think it’s weird that he loves you, when to him, you have a boyfriend.” he pushes further.

“last time i checked, you aren’t my actual boyfriend.” i sigh exasperatedly. “so, unless you are, you can’t tell me who i can and can’t text.”

okay, maybe i do wish sam were my actual boyfriend. he’s a sweet guy, and definitely not unattractive. i like him a lot. but, it’s obviously not reciprocated.

‘thank you.’

———————————————

another case, same town, and the same coffee shop. it’s the same temperature, too, so i’m basically freezing down to my bones. i get the same coffee order and text sam.

‘do you think i’ll be able to help you today?’

‘or am i gonna have to be lonely again?’

sorry

this case is kinda extreme.

i’ll try to finish quickly so we can hang out.

‘yes please.’

“why, hey stranger.” someone calls out to me. i look up, and bryan is sitting in front of me.

“hey bryan.” i wave. “are you stalking me?”

he furrows his eyebrows. “this is a very common coffee shop.”

“i know, i-“

“i’m not some kind of weirdo, you know. i’m just a nice guy who offered you a ride and is trying to be friendly.” he defends himself. “i’m also a local here, so i’ve been getting coffee from here for a long time.”

“i’m sorry. i was joking.” i apologize awkwardly.

“oh.” he clears his throat.

“yea.” i nod.

“my bad. are you busy today?” he asks.

“uh, no, actually. my boyfriend’s busy all day so i’m kind of just.. alone.” i explain.

“come to my place!” he suggests.

i sigh, “ummm...”

“c’mon. i thought we already established i wasn’t some weirdo.” he jokes.

“fine, fine.” i laugh.

i hop into the familiar passenger seat. we listen to the radio on the way to his place. i sing along, which he finds funny. i catch him staring at me every now and then. he even missed a green light or two.

my hunter’s instincts go off. sam has trained me to be careful around these kinds of people. he’s obviously not a ghost. if he’s a werewolf, i’m not in any immediate danger because it’s not a full moon. so, maybe he’s a vampire and he’s luring me back to his house to kill me inconspicuously.

we walk into his house. it’s pretty nice. the hardwood floors are almost spotless, and the furniture shows no signs of any stains. i clutch the knife in my pocket.

“make yourself at home. we can watch a movie or something.” he suggests.

“um, yeah. of course.” i nod.

he looks puzzled. “are you nervous or something?”

“i-“

“y/n, we’ve already been over this. i’m not some psychopath that kills people.” he sighs.

“i know, i know.” i deflect. “i think i just had too much coffee.”

“jittery?” he asks.

“yeah.”

my heart beats way too fast. i feel like it’s going to burst out of my chest. it’s not the good type of adrenaline that i enjoy when i’m hunting. it’s not the helpful kind of adrenaline that has saved my life so many times. it’s adrenaline based off pure fear.

with my defeaning heartbeat echoing in my ears, i decide to bite the police. i slice my palm with the knife in my pocket and then bring it out. bryan turns around with a look of concern.

“i, uh, could i have a bandaid or something?” i ask.

“how did you cut your hand?” he asks, confused.

“i have a pocket knife in my pocket.” i half-lie. its not a pocket knife, but...

“you’re so clumsy. follow me.” he beckons.

i follow him into the bathroom. he opens the cabinet and hands me the biggest bandaid i’ve ever seen, with a slight smile on his face. i observe his smile. there’s no fangs in sight. he’s just a normal guy.

“thanks.” i smile back, bandaging myself up.

my phone rings and i pick up. “hello?”

“hey. my case is over. meet me back at the motel?” sam’s voice stings my ears. i miss him.

“of course! yea, i’ll be right there.” i smile.

“okay, bye. stay safe.” i can hear the smile in his voice.

i hang up the phone and turn toward bryan. “i’m sorry to cut this short, i-“

“ditching me to go hang out with your boyfriend again, huh?” he asks bitterly.

“uh, yea. sorry.” i offer him a faux smile.

“at least let me drive you back,” he offers. he grabs his keys off the counter and jingles them.

“actually, i think i’ll just get a cab. thanks for the offer.” i wave at him and grab my coat from the front door.

i feel uneasy. i walk down the street as fast as i can without looking suspicious. now, i realize the severity of the situation. he might not be a creep, but if he is, i am very much in danger.

he has my phone number; he knows where i’m sleeping; he knows i’m alone most of the day; he knows everything and i’ve known him for two days.

but, that’s not anything to worry about. bryan is just a normal guy, right?

right?

——————————————

if you enjoyed, feel free to reblog or comment or something! stay on the lookout for the final part. thanks for reading :)

#sam x reader #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x you #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester one shot #sam and dean #sam winchester imagine #supernatural preferences #supernatural imagine #supernatural imagines #supernatural

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craftypeaceturtle · 4 years ago

Text

B is for Baby Time!

Summary: They finally get to meet the newest arrival for their family.

Note: Part of a series but can be read alone! The ABCs of their little family! Demus and Royality.

The beginning- A is for Arrival

Next part: C is for Choas!

They got the call at exactly midnight. The second it turned to December they had prepared everything ready in case the baby would be early; they would not run around like headless chickens when the moment came. They had a baby carrier filled with blankets and a change of baby clothes that stood guard over their front door. But the 10th of December passed without any update. Remus was particularly insufferable but then again Janus had his own special brand of impatience. But all of that fell to pieces when they finally got the call at midnight that their surrogate had gone into labour. The baby was coming.

Janus blanched as he violently slapped Remus’ arm to get him up. He got up and started storming down the stairs all while silently gaping at the phone. Remus slunked after him before it suddenly dawned on him why Janus would be panicking at a phone call.

The plan had been to sit at home and wait until the baby was born then drive carefully and calmly to the hospital. That lasted a good... 20 minutes? “Do you want to go and wait in the hospital?” Janus finally sighed. Remus’ fidgeting stopped for the first time since the call.

“Why? Do you wanna sit in a waiting room for hours on end?” Remus kept staring ahead.

“Well I don’t know about you, but I can totally just sit here for several more hours.”

“We...” Remus sighed and wiped at his eyes, “We should be making the most of this really. Our last night of uninterrupted sleep.”

“Okay then, go to sleep then,” Janus laughed. Remus chuckled.

“Okay, let’s get going shall we?” Remus got up and held out his curled arm like the gentleman he was.

“We shall... after you put actual clothes on. I’m sure the nurses don’t want to see your manky boxers,” Janus chuckled and pulled and flicked him with the waistband.

They launched themselves at the car and only just remembered to actually grab the baby carrier. Sitting in the hospital room both felt like a relief and horrifically underwhelming. There were here now! They were here ready for any and all news. No need to keep anyone hanging. They felt productive just sitting there. But also... Both of them were just sitting there. In their rushed on jogging bottoms and baggy jumpers, with Remus’ wild bed head and Janus’ own frizzy hair lying limply against his back. They were both shivering as the December weather leaked into the waiting room. “Just time to wait...” Remus smiled weakly.

An hour passed awkwardly. The second hour passed both quickly and also as painstakingly slowly.

Remus’ phone vibrated from his pocket:

Evil Twin Bro- Hey, you know lots of weird stuff about getting different stains out right?

- yep

-also it really isn’t that weird.

-it’s called being an adult.

Evil Twin Bro- Do you know how to get blood out of t-shirt material?

-is it dried or nah

-soak in cold water

-wash like loads of times

Evil Twin Bro- I’ll kill you if this doesn’t work. Also, why are you awake at 2 in the morning you maniac!

-could ask you 2

Evil Twin Bro- I asked you first.

-baby’s coming.

Evil Twin Bro- Wait really??????!!!!!!!!!

Evil Twin Bro- Congratulations!!!!

-haven’t got the baby yet. waiting 4 surro.

Evil Twin Bro- Are you at the hospital?

-yea

Evil Twin Bro- How long have you been waiting?

-like 2h

Evil Twin Bro- Woah, that’s rough. How you holding up?

-dunno

Evil Twin Bro- You don’t know?

-feel like I’m gonna vomit. but also excited.

-well I don’t know if it’s good vomit or bad vomit y’know?

Evil Twin Bro- I really don’t. What are you lot doing then?

-J fell asleep. I’m trying to save battery on phone.

-So just sitting here.

Evil Twin Bro- Do you want me to drop stuff off for you? Pat was planning this whole thing for when you lot got the baby. He was going to cook you lot some fancy dinner and take it to you three. So I don’t mind helping you out! I could give you some muffins (trust me you’ll start to get hungry) and I have an iPad with a few films downloaded so you won’t need wifi.

-jesus why cant you be like everyone else and send a sentence at a time

-we’re all goiufhgb

-Hello Roman. This is Janus. Yes, we would greatly appreciate you bringing some stuff.

Evil Twin Bro- Haha, no problem!

“I can’t believe you’re dragging him here,” Remus sighed as Janus wordlessly passed his phone back.

“Why not?” Janus answered honestly. His whole being looked dragged down by sleepiness. Remus shrugged and looked ahead. Janus usually put so much effort into his appearance. Even the most basic ‘going to the shop’ outfit was a dramatic black and yellow gothic Disney villain who actually did crimes look. But he was simply shrugged over in the chair. He looked sleepily up to him through his hair.

“Why was he even asking all that at 2am anyway!”

“You don’t want him to come?” Janus asked, Remus heaved a sigh and plopped his head on top of Janus’.

“I dunno... I think I’m just tired and panicky. It’s all good,” Remus muttered off to a whisper. He pressed a kiss to his hair and closed his eyes.

He didn’t actually sleep. He just wanted to stop all conversation. People continued bustling in and out and Janus managed to fall asleep again with his chin propped up against his chest. He was even letting out a steady stream of snorty snores. Remus kept his eyes closed hoping no one would try to start a conversation with him. Janus was the talker to other people of their relationship. He only opened his eyes when he felt a firm prod to his shoulder.

“Hey Reem,” Roman whispered before flicking his forehead.

“What do you want dickbag?” Remus answered without thinking. Janus thankfully stayed sleeping. Roman only gave a pity smile and held out his bag. He pulled out some muffins and bottles of flavoured water alongside the promised ipad covered in glittery space stickers. Remus was too busy dumping the bag on the floor to notice Roman trying to get him to stand up.

“C’mon.” He gestured to over where the reception was. Remus nodded heavily and gently prised himself from Janus.

Now that they were further away, Remus saw that another hour and a half had passed. “Woah, you took ages?”

“Yeah, I thought about waking up Pat and then you have no idea what a nightmare it was trying to find a 24 hour shop. Like it was so much harder than I thought!” Roman now spoke loudly with his on brand gestures.

“Right...” Remus fluffed up his hair and slumped into another chair. Hmm, just as uncomfortable as the other.

“You okay?” Roman lowered himself to his eye line, looking like he was talking to a spooked dog, “Like really?”

“Dunno. I-I just don’t know. I feel a bit all over the place to be honest,” Remus flung his head back, “What did you lot feel?”

“Pretty much the same,�� Roman giggled, “Patton was a mess. I think it’s always one person does fine while the other has an existential crisis. That was definitely Pat. But he calmed down the second he got to see Logan.”

Remus nodded, not entirely sure if he was actually listening or just getting lost in the sensation of his heavy head tipping up and down. “Fair,”

“What’s going through your head right now?”

“Dunno... D-Do you...” Remus started before whipping his head to face the wall behind him, “do you think I’ll be like... I dunno a good dad?”

“Of course,” Roman slapped an hand on his shoulder. He was looking forward at the waiting room with an awkward wonky smirk.

“Okay listen. Let’s be honest. Being emotional and gross with you just feels weird. I’ve been fine with having a baby before this. This is purely me panicking right now. As you said, I’ll be fine. So we can we not do emotional conversation?” Remus laughed awkwardly but he lightened up once Roman relaxed as well.

“Oh thank god you said it!” Roman laughed and melted back into his chair.

“Why were you coated in blood in the middle of the night anyway?”

“I wasn’t coated in blood,” Roman gasped way too loudly which Remus cackled at. Roman blushed bright red and nodded at the concerned receptionist, “I got the most random nose bleed out of nowhere and I knew you were the entire person in existence who wouldn’t question me.”

“You make me sound like a total weirdo! I would question you!”

“But you didn’t!”

They settled into silence for a bit before inevitably Remus felt the need to speak, “How the hell did mum ever cope with twins? Like that seems like a lot...”

“Right?! Right after we had Logan, I think my mother’s day presents probably tripled in cost. She deserves it. Like all the same build up and worry but then you have another baby to come!” Roman shook his head.

“Aren’t babies are fairly gross as well?” Remus grimaced.

“Oh yeah! Don’t be put off from it! Oh, I feel so awful but the first time I saw Logan my first thought was ‘ew’. They don’t look anything like babies at first. Like Logan was blue with a traffic cone shaped head.”

“Their head is all fragile and mouldable. Janus made sure to show me pictures of newborns,” Remus stared off into nothing before turning to him with his signature smirk, only a little more tired, “But I am so telling Logan you thought he was an ugly baby.”

“Ahem,” Janus stood before them with an expectant look. Remus smiled and held out his arm which Janus jokingly shoved aside to sit down on the chair, “Hello Roman, I’m guessing you’re responsible for the pile of stuff that was at my feet.”

“Yep! How are you doing?” Roman smiled awkwardly.

“Tired but that’s to be expected. Are you staying long?”

“No, actually that’s a good point! I really shouldn’t stay out longer. Pat will actually murder me for butting myself in,” Roman stood up with an exaggerated old man groan, “But... please text when you finally say hello to the little guy! I expect pictures!”

Once Roman left, they wandered back over to their stuff and settled into a long night. Janus tried to stay awake. He knew that Remus was having a freak out. You would think it would be easy with the bright harsh lighting in the waiting room and the constant buzzing of conversation. Yet, his head bobbed lower and lower before Remus finally guided his head to his shoulder. He really tried but the tiredness and mix of emotions left him helpless. Remus only smiled at his useless husband before settling himself into Roman’s ipad. He settled into the Incredibles without much else to do.

It was 5am when Remus saw the husband of the surrogate walk over to them. He didn’t think about it has he flung himself upwards, flinging Janus wide awake. The guy looked exhausted. “Hey, Remus and Janus?” He asked, thoroughly mispronouncing Janus, with his hand held out. Remus nodded awkwardly before thrusting a still waking up Janus at him.

“Yes, hello.” Janus shook his hand firmly.

“Hey so the baby’s arrived,” He spoke softly as he walked back into the winding corridors he emerged from. They quickly followed after him, “He’s 6lb and about 20 inches. A little small thing but all healthy and average.”

“Aw, that’s all good to hear. Congratulations,” Janus sleepily smiled.

“Thanks but I think I’m supposed to be saying that to you two!” The guy chuckled awkwardly before he opened a door for them.

Inside was the mother looking absolutely exhausted, curled up into her pillow with her frizzy hair thrown about the place. Janus subconsciously flicked his hand through his own hair, only now realising that he never brushed it before coming out. Ah well, not like anyone was looking their best for the demon of the baby that woke them all up. And of course there was the star of the show.

The baby was fussing a clear plastic crib looking thing, his reddened arms flinging around with his tiny little feet occasionally kicking. His face was screwed up but at least he wasn’t crying. He was simply laying there. The little boy that would change everything.

Janus managed to pull away from the sight and say something to the mother. Remus deserved the first moments with their son.

Remus looked at the mother but she was busy talking so he quietly shrugged before holding his hands out. It felt bad. They baby was clearly still fussy but quiet. What if picking him up set him off? But his hands were also hanging over him now. Sighing, he gently lowered his hands so they just about touched the tiny baby. He was warm to the touch and Remus grimaced at his thoughts that erupted from that. Maybe it was just because he was in a warm room. It felt like he was five years old all over again. It was like when a relative you barely know has a baby and just dumps the baby in your arms because it’s cute but you have no idea how to hold this fragile floppy new human.

The baby sniffled at feeling his hands slowly worm underneath him but Remus then swiftly took hold of him and brought him to his chest, quietly shushing him without thinking. Thankfully, he settled down instantly. He was somehow both tiny and way heavier than he thought. “Heya little fella,” He cooed as he tried to uncurl his fist. The baby’s tiny little fingers uncurled and pressed back against his own finger.

“He’s gorgeous,” Janus sighed as he came up behind Remus.

“Aw, he is. What are you guys naming him again?” The mother quietly asked.

“Virgil,” Remus answered but he kept his eyes glued to his baby. Janus smoothed his hand over the baby’s head.

“Oh that’s a unique name!” The mother chirped.

“Has two people with unusual unique names, it only felt appropriate,” Janus muttered but his focus was completely enraptured by the baby, “Reem, do you mind doing the last of the paper work, then we can leave you all to recovery.”

“Cheers,” The father smiled awkwardly. Remus held out the baby and graciously lowered him into his arms. He perked up when he felt Remus press a kiss to his cheek, god he was clearly felt so sappy today. Not that he could really blame him.

They brought the baby carrier into the room ready to take him home and of course his eyes caught on their supplies. They brought a infant onesie- the cutest and non-halloween themed one they bought- but yet Janus frowned at the thought of trying to wrestle this baby into clothing. He looked much more comfortable pressed to his chest that he did lying down but he still looked like he could be seconds away from crying again. Of course, he couldn’t even begin to understand how stressful birth must be. The poor thing. He awkwardly bent backwards and grabbed the same blanket they bought about a month ago. Despite how much he tried, he couldn’t get out the black marker stain. It was just the first blanket they grabbed when preparing. Obviously. Of course. The first thing they grabbed. He grappled with the baby to gently cocoon him in the purple blanket. The spider web spiral sat in the middle of his back making him look like their little spider sitting in the middle of his purple spider web.

He didn’t track when Remus came back in. He didn’t even think to keep up conversation with the biological parents. All he knew was that he was slowly stepping back and forth while pressing his face into Virgil’s own squishy cheek.

Their little baby Virgil.

#sanders sides #My writing #remus sanders #Janus Sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #family dark sides #fanfic #fluff #family #demus #dukeceit

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years ago

Text

Laying in Wait (Indruck)

The prompt for the third was:Legend of Hag Hill

When you’ve lived somewhere your whole life, you develop one of two relationships with local legends: complete and utter belief, or the belief that the legend is utter bullshit.

For Duck, Hag Hill is solidly in that second category. Weird lights, sudden, disorienting fog, ghostly laughter; he’s hid out on the hill smoking or making out or killing time and never seen any of it, no matter how dark the sky is when he’s there.

He’s here for a slightly new reason tonight, as some kids from his Comp 101 class at Kepler Community College asked if he wanted to hang out and pull some mild pranks on the hill. Sure, hardly anyone comes on it this time of year, because Halloween looming on the horizon always gives the tales about the hill more substance in people’s minds. He mentioned this, hoping he could sway them towards a night at the Wolfe Bar and Grille or maybe just chilling in someone’s apartment or dorm, rather than freezing their asses off on a hillside, but they all insisted. So here they’ve sat, for over an hour, under a midnight moon, with not a soul passing by.

Then again, what else would he be doing? Sitting in his shitty apartment, swearing at the heater and watching some late night, bargain bin movie? The only thing he likes doing at home he can do here. Well, kind off. Odds are the other guys would complain if he started jerking off.

See, there’s this guy in his entomology class. Tall, with a weird face and a weirder demeanor, and only taking the class because he needs to fulfill his breadth requirements. He sits at the back next to Duck, didn’t say a word to him until two weeks ago, when he asked if Duck would help him study for the upcoming quiz. Duck assumed it was because he was the closest person to ask, but once they sat down in the coffee shop on H Street, it became clear that Indrid, his new study buddy, had another reason.

“Thank you for agreeing to help me. You, ah, you clearly know your stuff.”

“How the fuck can you tell?” He barely spoke in class.

“I see you filling in the slides with the correct answers well before the professor says them. You know some of this already.”

“You gotta know a decent amount about bugs if you wanna work for the forest service.” He mumbles, bracing for the Smokey the Bear joke.

“Oh! Oh of course, that makes perfect sense. I imagine invasive species, and symbiotic ones, are of interest in that field.”

They hadn't gotten to the notes for the quiz, because Duck got going about invasive insects, which lead to a discussion of moths, which lead to Indrid showing him his Deaths Head Moth tattoo, proudly explaining he’d designed it himself. They met at the cheap Chinese buffet the next night, and did actually study between trading stories about how they came to be in Kepler. Indrid laughed at once point, dyed-silver hair catching the warm light in the dim room, and Duck suddenly found that strange face strangely handsome.

It’s nice to have a crush, it’s been awhile since he had one on a guy who might one day reciprocate. He’s pretty sure Indrid’s been checking him out this week. It’s hard to tell with those red glasses he wears.

“Fucking finally.” Colton, he’s pretty sure that’s the guys name, shushes them into position, shattering Duck’s fantasizing.

“Can’t believe he fell for it.” Says the guy next to Duck

“I’m a pretty smooth talker when I wanna be” Colton whispers.

Duck suddenly has a bad feeling about this, tries to back up only to snap a stick and have Colton grab his arm.

“Hello?” A voice carries from the other side of the outcropping of grey stones.

“What the fuck man, let go.” Duck hisses, leaves rustling under his feet.

“I really hope that is a deer.” The voice mutters.

“Now.” Colton pops up, dragging Duck with him, all the boys letting out their most blood-chilling screams.

There’s a responding yelp, followed by a cry of pain as their victim falls backwards into bramble. Duck recognizes the pink and yellow sweater as soon as he sees it, and his heart tries to crawl out his toes when the frightened gaze lands on him.

“You get it?” Colton looks to his left, where one of his friends is holding up his phone.

“Yep. Fuck, man, you really think we’d invite you to chill with us up here? You’re such a fuckin weirdo.”

Indrid doesn’t even look at the others, his eyes remaining on Duck.

“Is, is that what you truly think of me?”

“Pfft, see, this is what I mean. That weird way of talking, those glasses, even heard you talking to yourself, which is even fuckin weirder than that thing you do with your hands.”

Duck likes it when Indrid flaps his hands; it means he’s excited, and an excited, happy Indrid is a sight he’s rapidly grown to adore.

Without a word, he grabs the offending phone, deleting the video before the others register what's happening.

“What the fuck?”

“You wanna see a funny prank? Fetch, dipshit” He hurls the phone as far as it will go, the others flipping him off and calling him every name under the sun as they run after it.

Indrid is gone when he turns back, but he’s in time to see a flash of color disappear around the next curve in the trail. The taller man is picking thorns from his sweater, and freezes when he hears Duck’s footsteps.

“I swear, if you try anything like that again, I will push you down the hill.”

“‘Drid” Duck reaches out, touching his arm to stop him, “I’m so fuckin sorry, I had no idea that’s what they were plannin, I thought we were hanging around to do some silly jumpscare on anyone walkin by, not that they fuckin lured you out here.”

Indrid is clearly contemplating pushing him down the hill anyway.

“C’mon, I’m tellin the truth. Remember what happened the last time I tried to lie?”

The other man blinks, then snickers, “Ah yes, the abysmal attempt to blame cockroaches for your missing homework.”

“I’m still real fuckin sorry. And, uh, I deleted the video. Hope that phone broke on the rock when I threw it.”

Indrid raises an eyebrow, “Valiant.”

“Hush, I’m tryin to help.”

“I know.” He grins a little wider, “it's a pity, I’ve never lived in a place with a haunted hill before. I was looking forward to observing it with friends.”

“Eh, you ain’t missin much. Place is about as haunted as my apartment.”

Indrid elbows him playfully “Come now, don’t ruin my fun. Is it true people have seen strange lights?”

“That's what they say.”

“And that you get lost in a fog never to be seen again.”

“It's a tiny hill in the grand scheme of things. Hard to get that lost. Uh, where are you goin, by the way?”

“Back to my car.”

“But the parking lot’s-” he turns, finds low, thick fog behind him, “thataway?”

“I thought it was this--oh, oh dear.” The fog is all around them, seeping into Duck’s skin.

“Okay, uh, well, we now it’s at the bottom of the hill, so all we gotta do is follow the slope.”

“...What slope?”

“The fuck?” The ground is flat, no matter how far he feels out with his feet.

“I propose we keep walking until we either get out of the fog or find the road.” He seems incredibly calm.

“Good, uh, good plan.” He falls in just behind him, keeps his ears open for cars or other signs of life. He’s starting to worry, gets so distracted by it that he collides with Indrid’s back.

“Duck, are the lights associated with Hag Hill red and orange, by chance?”

“Yep.”

Indrid points to where two lights hover in the distant, dark fog, like the eyes of a waiting beast.

“Well, fuck.”

“Run!” Indrid shoves him back the way they came, sprinting behind him on his long legs. It isn’t even two minutes before they hit a dead end.

“What the fuck, this cliff bit is on the other side of the fuckin hill from where we were!”

“Somehow I doubt the spirits care where we began, merely where we end up. Quickly, down here.” He tugs Duck behind a large, dying tree, the two of them huddling close together.

“Dare I ask what happens to people who see the lights?”

“Never seen again.”

A bitter chuckle, “of course.” Indrid scrubs his hands up his face, tilting his glasses up as he does. Then he hisses, “Ouch, damn it all” and pulls a thorn from his finger, “gah, it still stings.”

“Here, lemme see.” Duck gently takes his wrist, “huh, yeah, looks like you got it, so at least it ain’t gonna fester. As for the sting..” Quickly, he dips his head and kisses the skin. Looks up to find Indrid blinking his brown eyes in confusion.

“What was the purpose of that?”

“To, uh, to make you feel better?”

“Are you trying to flirt right now?”

“No, uh, fuck, uh, I mean, I, uh, fuck, Indrid, if we’re gonn get eaten by ghosts or some shit, there’s somethin I wanna do.”

With that, he grabs Indrid’s forearms and pulls him forward, kissing him. Indrid sighs against his lips, then hums happily as Duck works his way into his lap. He growls a little and Indrid shivers, breaks the kiss to nip and kiss at his neck while Duck brings his fingers up to his mouth, kissing his knuckles before drawing the pricked finger between his lips and sucking.

“Duck” Indrid purrs, nuzzling his cheek.

“Right here, darlin.”

Chills skitter up his spine and Indrid goes dead still in his arms, eyes wide as they stare over his shoulder.

“Oh dear, our apologies young gentlemen.” The red light forms into a woman as it speaks, the orange light doing the same. Both are dressed like they belong at a living history museum.

“Yes, we did not know you were lovers. Those for whom our hill was meant.”

“Your hill? But don’t that make you-”

“Hags? Yes, by the language of our fellow townspeople, we were such things due to our magic.”

“I lost my life to them.” The orange-eyed sighs.

“And I mine avenging her. They buried us here, unmarked, not knowing it had always been our favorite space. A space we wished to be for others in love, in our absence.”

“I’m sorry they were so cruel to you.” Indrid says softly.

“In the end we triumphed, our love stronger than death. We live eternally in our beloved hill, they rest uneasy and miserable in their graves.” Red eyes waves her hand, and the fog clears.

“There is your way to town, should you wish to depart now.” Orange eyes smiles, “and if you wish to tarry, around that bend you will find a place better made for privacy.”

“Thats’, uh, that’s mighty generous of you, but I’m gettin cold.”

“And I ought to check on my rats.” Indrid stands, helping Duck up before bowing a bit awkwardly, “thank you both for your, ah, help?”

The women share an enigmatic smile, and then they’re gone.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here.”

“Agreed.”

As they wind their way down to the parking lot, Indrid looks at Duck shyly, “Was your desire to kiss me purely near-death experience related?”

“Nope. Been thinkin about it all week. You, uh, wanna go on a date this weekend? One with less fog and mortal terror?”

“I’d be delighted.” They reach Indrid’s beat-up compact, “would you like a ride home?”

“Sure, thanks ‘Drid.”

Indrid opens his door, then pauses, fingers drumming on the car, “or you could, ah, could spend the night at my place?”

Maybe it’s a leftover adrenaline rush, or maybe it’s just Indrid, but Duck’s suddenly feeling pretty damn brave.

“Hell yeah, darlin. Let’s go.”

#promptober #indrid cold/duck newton #indruck #TAZ amnesty #college au

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hamiltalian-creates · 4 years ago

Text

Wine Mom Dadceit, Pt 7

Summary: Virgil tries opening up just a little and it doesn’t go badly. Until someone else lets his secrets slip.

Pairings: Virgil x Remy, Queerplatonic Patton x Logan, Co Parents Janus x Patton

Words: 2,370

Warnings: None

Virgil blushed and thought over his options for a minute. How bad could it be? It wasn’t like he had to tell him how he really felt about Remy, he knew that having a friend was a pretty rare event for himself, his popstar would believe that he was just happy to have a friend. “Yeah... Yeah, he’s new and he started talking to me for some reason, but he’s pretty cool. I guess we just happen to get along well.”

Patton smiled. “That’s good to hear. I hope your friendship goes well.”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, we just met, so I don’t want to be too hopeful or anything.”

“I don’t know... I think a little hope is good at least once in a while.”

“Maybe..” Virgil may not have been betrayed by a friend before, but he had been kind of an outcast most of the time, which he imagined felt the same when it did bother him.

“And if he does hurt your feelings, I’ll bet Remus will beat him up for you.”

In all honesty, Virgil was not completely sure about that. Their only interaction may have been Remy giving Remus some rainbow band-aids, but it seemed like that made him one of the best people ever in his book. “Yeah, he’ll definitely try,” he said jokingly before looking at his phone.

[Remy: Did I really just go to the park only to not find you anywhere? Fake friend]

[Virgil: We never agreed to go to the park, but okay]

[Remy: If a bitch wants to enjoy his not-grounded life in the park with his best friend, then said best friend legally has to read his mind and meet him in the park]

[Virgil: Sorry, never had a friend before :/]

[Remy: Omg, you are so dramatic! I’m kidding, I love you too much to make you do something that stupid :*] [Remy: Seriously, tho, I wish you were here instead of just my brother and his friend]

[Virgil: “Friend”?]

[Remy: Just his friend, trust me]

[Virgil: Boring lol]

[Remy: Eh, living with no romantic or sexual tension sounds like a blessing actually] [Remy: Boring, but a blessing]

[Virgil: Fair enough]

[Remy: Well, since you couldn’t be bothered to be here, what are you doing?]

[Virgil: Popstar’s painting my nails, I’m letting them dry so I can do his]

[Remy: I stg if you ruin your nails for me, Ill never forgive you]

[Virgil: I’m a professional at scrolling with wet nails, typing isn’t much different]

[Remy: -_-]

[Virgil: My nails are fine, worry about your starbucks and sunlight]

[Remy: I will, enjoy your fatherly affection]

[Virgil: I will] Virgil put down his phone and blew on his nails a bit more before dubbing his hands as safe to use. The next fifteen minutes of quiet father son time felt like it almost went by too fast and Virgil was kind of disappointed when it was over. Solution? He picked up the dark blue nail polish to paint polka dots onto his dad’s nails.

“Had a creative spark?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

Patton seemed to understand Virgil’s actual motivation, but he didn’t really want to say anything and put Virgil on the spot. Instead, he enjoyed the warm feeling in his heart and watched as his son added the dark blue dots to his painted nails.

Once he was done, Virgil gave a final nod of approval before putting up the nail polish. “And now it should be, like, an hour until they’re completely dry.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t be too bad. Maybe I’ll figure out how to use my phone to keep myself entertained like you,” he suggested, jokingly, though oddly proudly.

Virgil smiled at that. “I don’t know.. It’s pretty advanced stuff.”

Patton laughed. “I don’t doubt that, I know you and your father have had plenty of practice functioning with wet nails. He’s probably giving himself a manicure now.”

Patton wasn’t wrong, just a couple of hours early. After the last weekend, Janus really needed an extra long bath and a little bit of time to sober up before he could be trusted to do his own nails.

“Whatever he’s doing, it’s probably being done in the most extra way possible.”

“Yeah.. He can be over the top with self care, but it helps him relax,” Patton shrugged.

Virgil nodded. “That’s true..”

The two of them spent a few more minutes together, filling the silence with a bit of small talk before Patton left to make lunch, taking Virgil’s advice of putting his wet nails in ice water before he did.

Of course Virgil knew that trick, he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with his dad without being too sentimental.

Once his nails were dry, Patton got to work making lunch, where he was interrupted halfway through by Roman.

“Pat Pat, can I get a cookie?”

Roman really knew how to use his adorable appeal to get to Patton’s heart. That nickname almost always got to him. “I don’t think so, buddy.. I’m almost done with lunch, you’ll get to eat in a little bit.”

Roman pouted and gave Patton the best puppy dog eyes he could. “Please?”

“Aww...” He looked around to make sure Logan wasn’t there and quickly grabbed a cookie from the jar, giving it to Roman. “Don’t tell your dad.”

Roman smiled and ran off with his prize.

“I saw that.”

Patton jumped a bit as he heard Logan’s voice, turning around and smiling sheepishly as he saw him watching.

Logan shook his head and smiled as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist. “You’ve gotten good at refusing cookies. You’re in a very good mood.”

“Yep!” Patton admitted with a wide smile. “I was talking to Virgil and I got him to tell me about this new Remy guy that he knows.”

Logan was pleasantly surprised by that. “He told you about him?”

Patton tutted and whined a bit. “You already knew?!”

“Well... Yeah, but I didn’t hear about it on purpose, I promise. Janus and I were talking and Virgil heard us out of context and got really defensive. He’s pretty embarrassed about his crush,” he chuckled.

“What crush?”

Oh, Virgil was not going to like this.

Now it was Logan’s turn to act like an awkward teenager. “Did I say crush?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I very clearly heard you say he had a crush.. He didn’t tell me he liked Remy like that, no wonder he was acting so weird about it...”

“I kind of swore I wouldn’t tell you...” Logan admitted. “I feel bad, he was really embarrassed about me knowing..”

“Oh..” It kind of stung, but Patton could understand Virgil wanting to keep something like that to himself for a while. “Okay.. I won’t tell him that I know. That’s that.”

“Thank you..” Logan sighed and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry..”

“Don’t apologize, it’s normal for a teenager to be a little secretive, I can respect that.” It would be the second big thing that he’d promise to keep to himself about, the first thing being the fact that Remy was Virgil’s friend, but that only made it that more important for Patton to keep it secret. So, he did. Patton made sure not to let anybody else know about Virgil’s crush or, rather, that he knew about Virgil’s crush.

Roman, however, made no such promise as he stood hidden around the corner.

Of course, he didn’t do anything at lunch or dinner, where Remus would be armed with forks. Instead, he waited until after breakfast the next morning, giving himself plenty of time to think about how he’d confront Virgil about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?” Roman asked as he stepped into Virgil’s room. “Is he a weirdo like you?”

Virgil was too horrified to be offended. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “I heard my dad accidentally tell your dad about how you like a boy.”

Virgil jumped out of bed and marched on down to the living room, finding his popstar sitting on the couch with Logan. “Why is Roman asking me about a ‘boyfriend’ that he overheard you guys talking about?” he asked, using air quotes around ‘boyfriend’.

Patton and Logan looked at each other in disbelief before looking back at Virgil.

“I didn’t know he was still there,” Logan admitted. “I’m sorry..”

Virgil sighed dramatically and turned to leave. “I’m not talking about it to anyone.” He saw Roman watching him. “That includes you.”

Roman pouted. “Dang it... Fine, I’ll bother you about something else.”

“No you won’t,” Logan said. “You’re going to ease up on him.”

Roman groaned and turned to leave. “I can’t do anything in this house!” he said overdramatically as he walked away.

Virgil waited until he was sure he was gone before turning back to the two adults. “Can we not make a big deal out of this? I don’t really want to make this a big deal..”

“I just want to ask a couple of things, I promise,” Patton said with a hopeful smile. “You can stop me when you want, but this is kind of a big deal.”

Virgil thought it over for a second before nodding. “Alright..”

“Yay!” Patton jumped up and held his hand out for Virgil’s. “Come on, we can gossip up in my room.”

“That’s not necessary,” Logan said, closing his book. “You know how Roman likes to eavesdrop, I’ll go distract him and Remus with a movie.” He got up and kissed Patton’s cheek before walking out.

Patton smiled and looked at Virgil. “So?..”

“Alright..” Virgil smiled and sat down with him, telling him a few things about Remy. He told him about how was probably the most chill person ever and how they met when Remy saved him from a rogue basketball, which Patton thought was the bravest thing in the world, seeing as he was the one who gave Virgil the “bad at sports” gene. He kept as many details as he could to himself, like how cool it was to see Remy go from 0-100 when someone tried to pick on him or Virgil or how much of a flirt Remy was. The last thing he wanted to do was turn into a stuttering gay mess on purpose.

“He sounds like a really cool guy..” Patton said once Virgil was done talking. “I’d love to meet him once you two start going out.”

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Maybe.. I don’t want to make it a big thing.” He didn’t want his popstar to see how embarrassingly gay he became whenever Remy was around. At least, not yet. “Besides, I don’t even know for sure that he likes me, he could just see me as a friend.” Which Virgil knew was a lie, Remy made it very well known that he was ready to go out with Virgil at any time.

“Aw..” Patton smiled, believing him. “Well, if you two do go out, I would love to meet him. Or, even if you stay just friends, that’s totally acceptable and I’d still love to meet him.”

“I’ll talk to him about it,” Virgil assured, unsure of whether or not that was a lie.

Patton let him run back up to his room and smiled to himself, feeling successful. Now, the only thing left was to talk to Janus about this. He immediately grabbed his phone and called him, seeing as this was, in fact, an emergency.

“Hello?” Janus answered after a few rings.

“I know you know about this Remy kid. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“... Patton, this doesn’t classify as an emergency.”

“I think this is a serious emergency,” Patton said, though his tone was too giddy to back up his point. “Our baby boy has a crush and you didn’t tell me about it!”

“Virgil was really embarrassed about it. He barely told me anything and you know how rare that is.”

“Alright, fair..” Patton sighed and crossed his legs. “But I did feel like the two of us really bonded this weekend. I mean, we painted our nails together and he didn’t argue that much when I asked him to tell me a bit about Remy. He didn’t say much, but it was better than him refusing to say anything..”

That was true. Virgil was pretty open with Janus, but with Patton? He was always worried about him trying to pry out more information. “And that’s really good to hear. See? Doesn’t it feel better to not force the information out of him? I know you want to know about him, but he’s a really shy teenager.”

“I know.. I just hate that we’re growing apart..”

“Patton,” Janus sighed, pausing to take a sip of wine. “Look, in all honesty, Virgil still loves you. Being a little shy and secretive is not going to change the fact that you’re his father and he loves you, okay? He just needs a little space sometimes.”

“I know..” Janus reminded him of that all the time. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Is that all that you needed?”

“Oh! There’s one more thing. Are you sure that Remy’s good enough for our little boy?”

“Oh, come on, Patton, we’re his parents. Nobody’s ever going to be good enough for Virgil.” Or Remus, but Janus liked to tell himself that it'd be years before Remus had his first crush.

Yeah, that was true.

“But he does seem like a good kid and Virgil really likes him, so the least we can do is give him a chance.”

“Right... Okay. Thanks, Janus. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Of course.” He sighed and put his phone down as he heard Patton hang up. That was absolutely not an emergency, but he could let it slide this time. After all, he wasn’t so graceful about this entire situation either, as much as he pretended to be on the outside. His son had a crush and that crush obviously liked him back. That meant he basically had a boyfriend, an actual boyfriend. And a boyfriend meant that Virgil was growing up, which was definitely not okay with him.

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gayidungeon · 4 years ago

Text

Gronksgiving

You are at Thanksgiving dinner at your uncle Rob Gronkowski house, the football player for the New England Patriots. Everyone has left leaving you two alone to clean up. You have been doing this every year since you were little and it is always a good time.

Rob tossed a football in the air. His stomach hangs out. He ate so much. Your mom would be proud of what you did today.

"Hey, you can do better than that." You say as he throws another one.

He looks down and smiles. "Yeah, I know." As he pretends to fumble the ball and you fake out a catch. He looks surprised and smiles as you drop it. "Oh whoops, I guess it was a fumble after all!"

Gronk grins. "Hey come here, let me hike it to you" he says. He gets into a three point stance waiting for you to get behind him.

You get behind him and get into position; your head right infront of his massive ass. You know what he's planning, he does it every year to you. You let him though because he ways find it hilarious.

"Red 52, red 52" he says.

"Down. Set.." instead of saying hike, he shifts and rips a massive fart in your face. You always know when it's going to be bad one when he has a goofy grin while he does it. It burns your eyes and you fall on the ground choking.

"Oh come on, I said I was going to do that!" he laughs as you get up and rush him.

He hugs you tight. "I trick you into that every year."

"Yeah I know."

"How many years has it been now, eight?"

"Yeah. Hey, can we do something else now. Like wrestling."

Rob laughs again. "Sure thing buddy. You're on."

"SWEEEEEEET!"

You both change into your sweats and grab a Soda. Rob heads to his room and grabs the step ladder and stands in the middle of the room. "Ready?"

You love when he does this, it's one of the three favorite things you get to do every year. You nod eagerly and get crazy psyched up as he sets the ladder down.

"Wrestle!"

The wrestling match follows the same pattern it always does. You choke him with the rope, slap his fat stomach and get him in a head lock. He's so much bigger and stronger that he could probably out muscle you into submission but Rob has never taken advantage of that. For some reason he lets you get in these really good holds on him.

"Yep I'm winning" Rob says as he collapses on his sofa.

You tackle him extra hard, punching his shoulder pads as hard as you can. "I think you're losing."

"Nope, I'm still winning" he says through a laugh.

You climb on top of him and start wailing into his stomach as hard as you can. That's one of the other best parts about coming here, is how strong you feel after playing with Rob. Sometimes you think he's part ogre. "Ok, ok stop." He says shielding his face.

You don't stop.

"Stop or I'm going to start farting" Gronk threatens you.

You laugh and continue hitting him. He grabs you hand and flips over pushing all of his weight on top of you as you hit the ground hard.

"See I told you I was going to win" Rob says in between laughing.

You look up at him. "Only because you cheated."

"I did not!"

"You broke the rules, no cheating!" You smack his belly. It jiggles like the moon in the water.

"Ooooooh you're going to pay for that." Rob says as he mimics tearing off your arms and beating you with them.

"No, I think your punishment should be a stinkface" Rob says. You know what that is. It's one of the worst things ever.

"You got to be kidding me." You beg as he sits on your chest.

"Nope."

As you try and fail to push him off he grabs your wrists and puts them behind your back. You feel your arm wiggle around as his massive butt thrusts into your face. "Stop, please stop." You whimper as your nose is hit by a wall of awful.

"You can always give up" he laughs.

You try and fail to get him off you as he sits on your nose. You're crying, tears flying everywhere and dripping off his cheeks. You'd laugh if you weren't crying for real.

"And here it comes" Rob flexes as he starts farting in your face.

"NO STOP!" you yell as he flexes his butt muscles one last time and holds the pose. Mucus flies out of your nose and into your mouth, it tastes awful.

"Go on. Say you love uncle gronk's farts"

You push and struggle but you can't get him off of you. Your face is soaked in tears, snot and nasty gas as Rob laughs at your misery. Eventually you give in and whisper it. "I love uncle gronk's farts."

He finally gets up and lets you go. You let out a yell as the tears keep coming and you lay on the ground hopeless.

"I think that's the most fun I've ever had" He says as he pulls his shorts back up and waddles over to you. You wince as he picks you up easily. He sits down on the sofa and you sit in his lap as he puts his arm around you. You bury your head in his fat chest as the tears finally stop. The smell is still there, but it's fading slowly. He gently pushes your head back so he can look at you.

"Thought we were done with that." He laughs as he pats your head softly.

"Sorry, I just get emotional sometimes." You explain as you wipe your nose on his sleeve.

"It's OK, but I got a question. Why in the hell did you pick me?"

"What do you mean? You're the only option besides my parents." You say confused.

"Yeah but I'm a weirdo and you know it."

You pause for a moment as you try and think of an answer. "The truth?"

"Of course.

"You're the closest thing to a father I have. I know you're weird and all but I like it. You take care of me and stuff when you're not being a jerk."

"I thought you hated me because of all the farting." Gronk says.

"Yeah sometimes you're horrible, but I know deep down you're a nice guy. I'll put up with your stupid shenanigans because despite it all I think you care." You pat his belly. It's not as hard as a few months ago, you know it won't be long before he gets back to his regular flabby self.

"I had no idea." He says as he hugs you closer.

You wince as feel his sweaty belly fat against you. It's gross and smelly but right now it feels warm and welcoming.

"I love you too buddy" He whispers in your ear as you bury deeper into his embrace.

You hear him fart into the couch cushions. "Well you asked for it" he laughs as you laugh to yourself thinking about how crazy your life is.

"Well as long as it's not in my face" you say to him.

"That'sif you're lucky kid".

"What do you mean?"

"I love farting on faces." Gronk says. "I love seeing the looks of shame and horror on their faces."

You sit up as he laughs. "Well it's an acquired taste."

"Haha kid you'll get there soon enough". You lean back and snuggle into his belly again. "I love you Gronk, I really do."

His stubbly chin rubs against your forehead as he chuckles out loud.

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drunklander · 5 years ago

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 501

We’re back again for another season of men never having to demonstrate any personal growth on screen because the writers don’t feel like that’s important to show and instead force the audience to just forget everything that previously happened because look! The characters, who aren’t real and are just what we write them to be, are all cool now so why aren’t you? #BadFans

As a standalone episode/series premiere of a new show, this episode was really good! I enjoyed it a lot, with some obvious exceptions. As the season five premiere of a show with a long history? What the actual fuck, why do you keep doing this, writers?

In season one, Jamie beats Claire, never actually apologizes for it, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season two, Jamie takes his pants off with some prostitutes while his pregnant wife is at home, blames it on his “mission,” and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season three, Jamie is an asshole and a half to Claire when she gives up literally everything (including their daughter) to come find him and knowingly marries the woman who tried to have Claire killed because of one dance with random children at a holiday party, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season four, Roger is a rancid garbage heap to Bree all season and is only begrudgingly down to stay with her as if *he’s* the one who’s been wronged by her, and Jamie literally sends a guy into what he thinks is like certain death/slavery without getting any real information, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

So watching this premiere, I was not at all shocked that there was a convenient time jump where everything was so handily worked out off screen and we’re all super cool now, and Jamie thinking Roger isn’t good enough for Bree is played for a joke instead of being THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. #BreeDeservesBetter

Anywho, onward under the cut because I’m back on my drunken bullshit.

Ooo, a rape warning before the episode, starting off very on brand for you I see, show.

Fuck them very much, again, for including that very unnecessary story line in the first place.

I miss Scotland, y’all. Also, young Murtz can get ittt.

So can old Murtz.

#TeamMurtz

This bit though with wee Jamie made me feel feelings. Jamie and Murtagh’s relationship is literally one of my favorite parts of this whole damn show and saving Murtagh was the best adaptive choice these fuckwads made.

Unpopular opinion alert, but I actually really like the new credits music. I will always like season one’s the best, but this one is up there.

Also, am I a giant weirdo for being happy that even though they change stuff in the credits all the time, they keep in the shot of Claire’s legs running from the pilot? Idk why, but I’m like sentimentally attached to that shot.

Also, that is a fucking microscope I see in the credits, are we gettING SCIENCE!JIZZ?!??!?!?!

SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ!

“Careful, or ye’ll lose yer head.” And we’d all be definitely super sad if that happened. Yep, can’t have that. #TeamCutthroatRazor

Jamie threateningly shaving and insulting Roger is the fandom minus the stans who for some inconceivable reason still like that fucker.

Seriously, fuck Roger. Jamie is apparently the only one who hasn’t gotten amnesia about how terrible he is. I guess it’s because Jamie has been really fucking terrible many times and like recognizes like.

I fucking love that Murtz made Bree’s ring. Makes it more meaningful than the random trinket Roger picks up at the Gathering Without End in the book. Like Claire’s Lallybroch key ring was more meaningful than the book!ring. Fuck the show for ditching the Lallybroch key ring because tHe BoOk RiNg Is WhAt FaNs LiKe. No. Stop. Bad choice.

The aerial shot going over the big house makes me hopeful that this season won’t be as fucking claustrophobic as last year. Because seriously, we can all tell you’re still in Scotland. Doing a whole season in basically closeups doesn’t make it seem any more North Carolina-y.

CLAIRE MAKING BREE’S DRESS AND GETTING TO BE THERE FOR HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING WHEN SHE DIDN’T THINK SHE’D BE ABLE TO GIVES ME ALL THE FEELINGS! CLAIRE DESERVES ALL THE GOOD THINGS! I JUST LOVE CLAIRE A LOT OK! SORRY NOT AT ALL EVER FUCKING SORRY! #BeauchampBrigade5Eva

Bree’s dress is fucking gorgeous. I lowkey like it better than Claire’s.

Da!Jamie on his something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue quest is fucking adorable. He also never thought he’d get to see this one of his kids’ wedding so yay for him too.

“And we’re giving her away to a man who loves her.” “Oh.” “What? You doubt his love?” “Um, I’m sorry, did you SEE all last season?! Did everyone else get amnesia?!”

Also, bullshit about Roger being terrible aside, this right here, with Jamie and Claire actually talking to each other in an adorable and snuggly way. Like being all close and cuddly and shit. THIS IS MY SHIT. When we all bitch about wanting more Jamie and Claire couple stuff and the writers are all like “but the sex doesn’t advance the story” it’s like no you fuckwits, we don’t always mean sex! Sometimes we mean sex, because sex is important in their relationship (and sex does not necessarily equal nudity), but most of the time we mean SHOW US THAT THESE PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER WITH THE SMALL CUTE STUFF LIKE THIS! I’m *rull* curious to see how much more of stuff like this we get this season now that Balfe and Heughan are producers. Balfe especially, considering how dirty they did Claire last season...

DA!JAMIE AND ANOTHER OF HIS KIDDOS! Da!Jamie being sappy and sentimental at his kids’ weddings is 100% my jam.

HIS FACE WHEN BREE SAYS JE SUIS PREST MAKES ME FEEL ALL THE FEELINGSSS.

MOM AND DAD ARE AT THEIR LIL GIRL’S WEDDING AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND MY CROPS ARE THRIVING. Except that one weed over there in the groom’s place that just won’t go away.

I am so fucking glad they did away with the Gathering Without End. I swear to fuck 17% of a book that’s just like camping and periods and breast milk is aggressively not my jam.

Unfortunately the groom being a douchenozzle is not a legal reason to object to a wedding. But it really should be.

Fersali being all snuggly and cute during the vows is fucking precious. I love Fersali. Protect Fersali at all costs.

I’m ok with playing Jamie and Claire’s music over Bree and Roger’s wedding because like, this is the culmination of all the shit that Jamie and Claire went through together and I’m all for making stuff just about them, haha. But otherwise, weird choice to not give Bree and Roger their own theme?

Also, I get that it’s a better choice to have a character we already know and have established stakes with be here to do the red coat stuff, but loool at the thought of the fucking governor coming to this random backcountry wedding. Tryon, buddy, I get that Murtz is your white whale, but you look obsessed in a bad way, bruh.

GERMAIN!!! I FUCKING LOVE GERMAIN! I FUCKING LOVE THAT JAMIE TALKS SHIT ABOUT PRESBYTERIANS TO GERMAIN! GIVE ME ALL THE SASSY SMOLS!

“Some of us like to think before we act.” Oh fuck all the way off, Roger. ALL THE WAY OFF.

“There was me thinking that you were just trying to shut me up for a minute.” I mean, that was an added bonus, Rog.

Sophie has really gotten so much better at acting. She’s always such a goddamn delight on press tours and I’m like *rull* glad to see her growing into the role.

Lizzo/Flute Lady from the Wedding Band 2020

I 100% wanna chill with JQM and Fersali. This squad of cool kids seems aggressively more fun than the dancers.

Oh Isiah Morton. If only you could keep it in your pants.

I LOVE FERGUS WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

I LOVE MARSALI POSSIBLY EVEN MORE.

GODDAMN IT I JUST LOVE FERSALI SO FUCKING HARD.

Seriously, the sass and theatricality and sarcasm of Marsali Fraser. I stan. I fucking stan.

Also I 100% kept reciting “To sit in solemn silence...” through that whole scene. Once a theater kid, always a theater kid.

Don’t be a buzzkill, LJG. I love that posh nerd. Except when he’s being a fucking creeper about Jamie to Claire.

“Mistress, can I dance with the guy I thought raped you because he was such a twatwaffle?” “Sure, Lizzie, go for it! Because we’re all friends now.”

We’re just leaning in on the dad stuff this episode. The hot dads of Riverdale should form a gang with the hot dads of the Ridge just for kicks.

Obligatory fuck the writers for including Bree’s rape. Since they did though, good on them for showing her PTSD. Although fuck them for including such a graphic flashback. Much like the choices they made in the season one finale, it centers the rapist and the act more than the survivor.

Can this please be the only Fred reference this season? Also love to lightly joke about an emotionally abusive asshole who treated Claire like shit and used Bree as a weapon against her. Claire, being the bigger person she’s always been, will obvs not speak ill of Fred to Bree (unlike how Freddy boy undermined Claire in front of Bree), but Bree is now aware of just how shitty Fred was. Even if he wasn’t overtly shitty to her, her still being all lovey about him, knowing what he did to her mother, is lowkey super fucked up. “Well I know he was shitty to other people, but he never did anything to me” is never a good look.

Bree hugging Jemmy, oh man, I just wanna give her a hug and tell her everything’s gonna be ok.

Jocasta is still trash (there’s no such thing as a benevolent slave owner) but this Murcasta scene is a goddamn delight.

OK BUT NOW I NEED FAN ART OF MURTZ AS A FAIRY KING!

Roger singing to Bree is cute and all, but then using the music for the whole montage is cheesy af and I don’t think I like it.

Is that Arch and Murdina I spy there in the crowd?

Marsali is literally the most fertile woman in the Colonies.

Grannie and Granda trying to get it on veryyy quietly so they don’t wake Jemmy is fucking adorable as shit and I lowkey love it.

Awww, poor LJG. I ship Lord John with someone who actually loves him.

Ok I get Murcasta having to break up because of his regulator stuff, randomly introducing Duncan Innes is a fucking weird choice.

Maria Doyle Kennedy really was the fucking perfect casting choice.

Oh hey, Josiah Beardsley. I was hoping they’d cut out the whole thing with the Beardsleys and Lizzie, but honestly, I’ll take that silliness over Emo!Roger any day.

Good on Jocasta for being a clever MacKenzie, but fuck Roger for only doing the right thing when he’s insulted into it. TL;DR: Fuck Roger.

Is Gerald Forbes going to randomly turn into Neil Forbes at some point like he does in the book?

DOCTOR CLAIRE FOR THE WIN GIVE ME ALL THE DOCTOR CLAIRE.

Srsly, I am here for Jamie shitting on Roger at literally every opportunity. Preach, Jamie. Preach.

“I’ll leave you to yer patients. And to wage war with your wee invisible beasties.” Seriously though, this is my jam. This playful banter. For so much of the series, it’s been like do these two even like each other? Because the writers kept trying to make the show into something it wasn’t. Politics, war, characterization flipflops and assholery FoR tHe DrAmA. It was so hard to see why Claire would ever pick this guy. I’m very cautiously optimistic that more shit like this will be peppered in this year because dammit, this is why we’re all fucking here.

“Then ye must find yerself a lieutenant.” Can it be Marsali? Please? Can Marsali be Claire’s lieutenant?! Because cutting the whole Malva bullshit would be ideal. And Fersali gets so sidelined in the later books that I’d fucking LOVE the writers to make changes so they can be more centered with the rest of the fam. And I am fucking obsessed with Claire and Marsali’s relationship. Marsali is the most Claire Jr. character in this whole damn show and I WANT THEM TOGETHER IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

Roger pricks his index finger but smudges the blood on Jemmy’s head with his thumb. Not the takeaway of this scene at all. But since I don’t like Roger, that’s my bullet for it.

Also I love that they switched the whole raise a militia thing to a hunt for Murtz & Squad rather than needing to do it because some randos are somewhere doing a thing and then lol jk they left so you can all go home like it is in the book.

Totally called it that they were going to combine the two bonfires and that this was when the kilt was gonna make its triumphant return.

Also I fucking love that it’s the music from Je Suis Prest during the scene when Jamie puts his kilt back on.

And thank fuck they didn’t put any dialogue/voiceover in this scene when Claire sees Jamie. It’s so much more powerful without it.

Aaand we’re burning a cross. At least they were smart enough not to burn a Roman cross, but they’re still burning a cross instead of just doing a bonfire. The scene could be just as powerful had it been adapted to not have a burning cross. Fuck them, tbh.

Remember that time that fuckwit Roberts tried to be like oh we’re not *really* burning a cross so we’re not racist but we’re not gonna address it directly because lol out fanbase is fucking wicked conservative and also a fucking cult who will yell at us for changing anything.

Because seriously that twatwaffle really tried to pretend like a celtic cross isn’t a religious symbol so they’re not having a KKK rally in this white supremacist hellscape. FUCK THAT GUY FOR BOTH HIS SHITTY DECISIONS AND ALSO FOR ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS.

BuT hIsToRy AnD tHe BoOk! Fuck that. Do. Not. Burn. Crosses. But they showed a lynching last year for the sole purpose of showing the shocked white people, so of course they fucking burned a cross.

Jamie being both himself and Colum from the Gathering in season one at the same time is a fucking sight to see.

The look on Knox’s face is *chef’s kiss*. Bruh you don’t even *know* who you’re dealing with.

Aaand in a move that is not at all shocking, Roger hesitates *again*, when Jamie extends his hand to him. Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, that guy. I get that he’s untrained and scared or whatever, but buddy you deal with that shit tomorrow. You don’t fucking leave Jamie hanging when he’s doing this big theatrical thing in an effort to fucking save his land and tenants. Ugh.

FERGUS, SON OF HIS NAME AND HIS HEART! Jamie and Claire’s first kid getting the props he fucking deserves. ILY SO MUCH FERGS!

Marsali’s face when Fergus goes to give his oath. Just the pride and love there. I JUST LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH OK.

I appreciate the commitment to the shitty green screen of that titular Ridge, haha.

That is a *rull* phallic rock in your circle, Murtz.

BUT...ALWAYS TAKE A MURTAGH! *cries*

This is a real gut punch of a scene, tbh. It’s 100% the right thing to do, but damn, right in the fucking feels.

This episode, with my selective amnesia activated per the above lol, has me more hopeful for how a season might be than I’ve been in a while. But this feeling has consistently been crushed in the past. Here’s to hoping the show finally stops doing us dirty!

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x01 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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dogcopter · 5 years ago

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Dogcopter Appearance Masterlist

thank you to resources SU Wiki Dogcopter and Dogcopter/Gallery, and Steven Says wiki transcript searcher

This is just a list of Dogcopter appearances in SU, not analysis. One or two may surprise you!

Dogcopter episode appearances

Lars and the Cool Kids

Lion 2

Some people say ‘You can't teach an old dog new tricks’... Unless you're Dogcopter 3, in 3D! This February, the fur hits the fan!

Steven: Whoah, I can see why this is your favorite film franchise. Connie: That's right! In a world where humanity is pushed to the brink, it turns out that the one who is most human, is a dog! Copter. Steven: and did you see where that missile came out of? Connie: Heh, yeah. I just hope it stays faithful to the book.

Amethyst: Oh, that's easy! Who needs to go see movies when you’ve got magic?

Steven: I'm sorry! I ruined everything, didn't I? I don't know why you hang out with me. I mess stuff up all the time. Connie: I don't know why you hang out with me! I'm so much more less interesting than you! And obviously you have some sort of magical destiny. Why would you even care about something like Dogcopter? Steven: Why?! Because it's Dogcopter! He's a dog, and a helicopter, and a cop! He shoots missiles out of his butt, and he's gonna save the world! Dogcopter is very cool and important to me. Connie: Well, I'm no Dogcopter.

Keep Beach City Weird

Dogcopter 3 SUX April 23, 2014

I saw Dogcopter 3 in 3D tonight and all I have to say is WOOF!

First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies. Yes, the last book is over 900 pages, but there’s not enough story! And the 3D was completely unnecessary. If I wanted to see butt missiles flying at my face, I’d feed a dog some bottle rockets and put on a pair of safety goggles.

Dogcopter is supposed to be an uncompromising look at the military-industrial-pet complex, not “fun”! Fun is the worst.

Also, if you live in the Delmarva area - do not see it at the Beach City Cineplex. The parking lot is a mess! Probably from a bunch of angry Dogcopter fans rioting. Ugh, I’m going to see this 3 more times to make sure I hate it.

Tags: dogcopter 3 in 3D keep beach city weird kbcw

Lion 3

Dogcopter: I win. Steven: Oh, what? That was a good move! Dogcopter: Thanks. Steven: Dogcopter. How do you do it? Dogcopter: How do I do what? Steven: I mean, what's your secret? How'd you get so talented? Dogcopter: Don't focus so much on talent, Steven. Making art is all about communication. A piece of art is a conversation. Every choice you make, is a statement.

Continued under cut

Dogcopter: Don't worry about labels, or conforming to a standard. Just be true to yourself, and people will appreciate your honesty. Steven: Woah. Thanks for the advice. Dogcopter: And take a deep breath. Steven: What?

suworkbook wrote a brilliant piece of meta around this dream

Steven: Here again? I don't know what this place is but it feels... familiar. Why can't I breathe? Wait a minute... Lion! Lion, my face is not your bed! What's going on with you?

Chille Tid

Steven: Whoa. Dogcopter! Mr. Copter! Sir! I'm one of your biggest fans, can I please have your autograph? Dogcopter: (meows) Steven: Mr. Copter, please! Steven: Hey wait! Where are you going?! Steven: I hope the rumors about Dogcopter in the tabloids aren't true. Steven: Huh? Oh! Hey, Pearl! Steven: Wait! Don't eat me! Steven: Oh, man! Thanks for the upgrade, Pearl! Now I can catch up with Dog— Steven: Woah, Amethyst? Steven: Hmm... This is... getting really weird. Lapis: This is weird. Steven: Hey, that sounds a lot like— Lapis: Steven! Steven: Lapis Lazuli! Lapis: Steven, what are you doing in here?

Keep Beach City Weird

KEEP BEACH CITY SPOILER FREE January 04 2016

Hey weirdos! For the past few months, I’ve done something unprecedented - I’ve stayed off the internet.

It was hard but I had to do because I’ve been trying to stay SPOILER FREE for the movie event of the new millennium! This December was the revival of one of the most famous sci-fi franchises in the world. Yep, you know what I’m talking about: DOGCOPTER.

So for three months, I sequestered myself from all internet communications. I handed over my laptop and my phone to my little bro, Peedee, and ordered him to bury them in an undisclosed location in the deserts of New Mexico.

I think he just put them in the walk-in freezer at the fry shop.

I won’t lie, it was hard. But I calmed my nerves by reacquainting myself with the “Young Adult Conspiracy” section at my local library. And instead of getting in arguments with internet trolls, I got in real life arguments! With my dad!

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”

Ug! I hope you’ve seen the movie because that’s pretty much the big ending. Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives. Anyway, the movie was pretty much ruined. So now I’m back. Spoilers are the worst.

Tags: Keep Beach City Weird Dogcopter

Fun fact if you invert this poster and adjust the contrast a bit, some odd diagram in the back appears:

Steven’s Birthday

Amethyst: What are you doing? Steven: Well uh...What are YOU doing? Greg: What are YOU doing to your body? Amethyst: Woah, woah, woah, have you been stretching yourself out all day? Steven: No! I was just... slouching. Greg: Why are you doing this? It... really isn't like you. Steven: Because, Dad, I can't stay a kid forever, when Connie grows up and becomes president what is that gonna make me? First Boy!? Amethyst: Steven, you can't just keep stretching forever. If you hold it too long, you could really hurt yourself. Steven: Yeah well, I'm half human so maybe it works different for me, we'll just have to wait and see, right? Greg: Steven...

Connie: That one's... "Canis helicopterus". Steven: Uh-uh, "Helicopterus"? Connie: Yeah, Dogcopter, get it? Now you make one up! Steven: Okay, um, That one's, uh, snake constellation. Connie: That's... pretty good. Are you okay? It looks like you're gonna throw up. Steven: Oh yeah, everything's fine! Connie: Okay... that's good. You know, to be honest, I was a little worried before. This might sound silly, but I'm really glad that I'm going to get to grow up with you. Connie: ...Steven? Steven! What's going on? What happened? Connie: We were just talking then all of a sudden- Pearl: He turned back into a baby?! Connie: YES!

Keep Beach City Safe

DOGCOPTER 4: ALL DOGS GO TO WAR Jan 5 2016

Dogcopter 4 has finally been released! All Dogs Go to War!

I’ve been dying to see this movie for age, but I never had the time. I’ve been so busy with my blog and picking the perfect present for Steven. I’ve watched all the other Dogcopter Movies, but I haven’t had time to watch this one. But now I have a little free time to do something. After I watch it I won’t spoil it for the rest of you. I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.

#Dogcopter 4 #Steven's Birthday Present #Dogcopter Movies #Smart Spoiler

Same Old World

Lapis: So, what does happen in Empire City? Steven: Well, let's see. If you lived here, you could get a cool apartment, and be a single Gem taking on the big city. You'll have a fun job at a local coffee shop and come home to a wacky roommate... Lapis: I have no idea what you're talking about. Steven: Awww.

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Steven: I'll take care of this! Kiki: Steven, be careful! Steven: Don't worry about me! Anything is possible when you have... rockets for bones! Kiki: Steven, that was so brave! Steven: Well, it's cheddar than nothing.

Steven: Oh, hey, Dogcopter. Dogcopter: (meows) Steven: See ya, dream Kiki! Kiki: Oh, okay. See you, dream Steven! Steven: Dream Steven!

Little Homeschool

Steven: Sadie's been touring with The Suspects, promoting their new album, and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep. She's two years away from applying, but she says it doesn't hurt to start early. Steven: And speaking of higher education, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and I have been cooking up a dream of our own! Cherry Quartz: I have no idea who you're talking about.

Snow Day

Amethyst: Guess what we've got lined up tonight. "Pupcopter's Sky-High Adventure"! Pearl: Sheet masks with cute animal faces! Garnet: And, most importantly, pizza. Steven: Uh, guys, I've been a vegetarian for, like, a month, and "Pupcopter" is for 6-year-olds, and I have my own skin care routine. Anyways, it's cool. I already ate. Amethyst: Oh well. We'll just watch the movie with Cat Steven. Garnet: My bad. I was sure we were in the pepperoni timeline.

In Dreams

Dogcopter: (flies away) Stefan: Noooo!

Together Forever

Lion: (roars) Connie: Huh? Steven: Hey, Connie! How you doin'? Connie: Steven? What are you doing here? Steven: You're gonna have a fifteen-minute break in...two minutes, right? Connie: Whoa! Spot on. Steven: Connie, let's go for a walk. I'm sure you could use some fresh air. Connie: I would love to! But um... Steven: No, no, no! Don't worry! We'll go with Lion, and I promise you'll be back in fifteen minutes! Connie: Okay! Let's do this!

Growing Pains

Drew: I know you're eager to chase the mail truck, Dogcopter. But the mail truck is a decoy. Good boys chase the blue car. Be a good boy, Dogcopter. Drew: Nice work, DC! Now get the bomb off the bridge! We're almost out of time! Drew: Dogcopter! No! Drew: Dogcopter, I can't lose you. Drew: Is this... what I think it is?

Announcer: Dogcopter 6: Till Death Do We Bark: I Now Pronounce You Man And Woof! Steven: Everyone's getting married but me! Ugh! I feel like poop.

#dogcopter #steven universe #steven universe meta #copter lore #rose is lion 2020 #kbcs lore #long post

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 4 years ago

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COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

The three of us were invited to stay for dinner. Since there weren't enough chairs, they were kind enough to pull out an extra chair for me, so Dustin and I shared the end of the table, opposite Mrs. Wheeler. Nancy and I seemed to be the only kids who were eating.

"Thank you so much for letting us stay Mrs. Wheeler. The food is amazing!" I said, followed by another bite of mashed potatoes.

"You're very welcome, Y/n. And thank you." She said, with a kind smile.

She looked around and noticed the boys were just playing with their meatloaf.

"Something wrong with the meatloaf?" She asked.

"Oh, no, I had two bologna sandwiches for lunch," Dustin said a goofy smile on his face. There's a noticeable pause before he speaks again. "I don't know why." I breathe out a light chuckle and take another bite of mashed potatoes.

Lucas chuckles nervously. "Me, too."

"It's delicious, Mommy." Nancy bats her eyelashes and a quizzical look flashed across my face. I know that tactic. Hell, every kid knows that tactic, she wants something and she is trying to butter up her mom. But to see a Nancy of all people do that is almost laughable.

"Thank you, sweetie."

I look to Mike to gauge his reaction to his teenage sister's odd behavior towards their mom. I fight back a laugh when his actions closely resemble that of an adult in a movie who takes a drink of beer with a thousand-yard stare, trying to forget something said at that moment in time; only this time it's a glass of milk.

"So, there's this... special assembly thing tonight... for Will at the school field."

I furrow my brow in confusion and shock. 'Nancy is nice and all, but since when does she care about Will?' Then it dawned on me. I remember Mike complaining to us earlier about that "douchebag Steve Harrington" and how he and Nancy have been dating. And how he's been sneaking in and out of Nancy's room.

"Barb's driving."

My jaw clenches.

"Why am I just now hearing about this?"

'Because she wants to use my best friend's disappearance as an excuse to leave the house and suck face with her stupid boyfriend.'

"I thought you knew." She said, playing innocent. Mike and I look to each other knowingly and then at Nancy. Well, glaring was a better term for what I was doing.

"I told you, I don't want you out after dark until Will is found."

"I know, I know, but it'd be super weird if I'm not there."

CLANG

I half drop, have threw my silverware on the table in a mix of shock and frustration. When everyone turns and looks at me silently, I quickly play it off with a chuckle.

"Heh, sorry about that. Lost my grip. I'm just thirsty." I say with an innocent smile as I hold up my water, gesturing to it before taking a large gulp.

Everyone but the boys seem to buy it.

Nancy continued and I had to bite my lip so as to not say anything.

"As I was saying, everyone is going."

Mrs. Wheeler sighs and looks to us, then back at Nancy.

"Just... be back by 10:00."

Nancy nods, happy with herself.

"Why don't you take Mike and his friends, too?" She suggested. We all panicked and spoke at the same time.

"No!"

"Mmm-mmm."

"I have a headache" I finished weakly.

"Don't you think you should be there? For Will?"

The four of us all spot Eleven walking down the stairs behind Mrs. Wheeler.

Mike nearly chokes on his milk while I accidentally inhale my water and I begin to choke for real. Mrs. Wheeler turns to see what provoked us so much but the mix of Dustin randomly slamming his fists against the table a few times and me going into a coughing fit was enough to grab her attention.

She looked between the two of us in shock. During my horrendous coughing fit, I was relieved to see El had gotten out of sight.

"Sorry. Spasm." Dustin says sheepishly.

However, it was still incredibly awkward seeing as it was quiet as and everyone just stared at me while I coughed obnoxiously. The coughs got less violent to a point where I could speak.

"Ahh..." cough. "I'm okay... really, I" cough. I hold up a finger and cough for a few seconds. I look up, a painful and sheepish look on my face as I awkwardly try and diffuse the tension. "Don't you hate that. Like, what can you do, wash it down with water?" I look around laughing weakly, but not for long because my awkward chuckles turn into more coughing and I groan. "Haha, ahawww god." I put hands on my knees and take a breather.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"El?" Mike called down the stairs. Mike and I had were able to sneak some food downstairs for her. Thankfully we found her down here, she was in the fort that Mike had made for her, fiddling with Mike's Supercomm.

"Hi, El," I say with a smile as I walk over and kneel down next to her. Mike does the same and sets down the tray of food. Dustin and Lucas remain standing.

"We brought you some dinner,"

"Yep. No adults. Just us and some meatloaf." Mike replies.

She looks to me, then warily to Dustin and Lucas.

"Don't worry. They won't tell anyone about you. They promise." I assure her in a gentle voice. I turn for them and give them a look. "Right guys?"

Dustin gives her a goofy smile. "We never would've upset you if we knew you had superpowers." I roll my eyes and Mike turns around and swats Dustin in the shin.

I look back to El.

"What my brother meant to say was, they were just scared... earlier. That's all."

Lucas speaks up. "We just wanted to find our friend." I turn around and smile warmly at Lucas, mouthing a 'thank you'. He's a great person, he's just skeptical is all. And protective. He nods his head at me. I look back at El to see her face riddled with confusion.

"'Friend'?" She asks.

"Yeah, friend. Will?"

"What is 'friend'?" She asks.

Lucas starts to say something but cuts himself off, thinking better of it.

"Um, a friend—" He begins.

"Is someone that you'd do anything for." Mike finished for him.

"You lend them your cool stuff, like comic books and trading cards," Dustin said, wistfully.

"And they never break a promise," Mike adds.

"Especially when there's spit."

"Spit?" She asked, looking concerned.

"A spit swear means..." Lucas spits into his palm and shakes Dustin's hand. "you never break your word. It's a bond."

I cringed, while Dustin looked at his hand in disgust. I turn back to El and smile.

"That's super important, because friends... they tell each other things. Things that parents don't know. A friend is someone you can trust completely."

She seems to be soaking up the information, then she looks at me and smiles.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

We had all convinced El to come out of her fort. The three boys were huddled together whispering and I joined El at the D&D table. In fact, she sat where Mike sat during the campaign and I subconsciously sat where Will did on that night.

Although I was a little surprised to see how focused she became. She gently spread her hands along the table, her fingers touching the board.

The three boys walk over. "What's the weirdo doing?" Lucas questions. I give him a glare, to warn him. He clears his throat and corrects himself. "Sorry. Eleven."

I smile, silently thanking him.

"El?" Mike asks. She had her eyes closed for a short while and suddenly she opens them. She grabs Will's signature miniature, the cleric. I hold my breath in anticipation.

"Will." She says.

"Superpowers." Dustin whispered. Lucas rolled his eyes and Mike sat down between me and El, and started asking the questions that were on all our minds.

"Did you see him? On Mirkwood? Do you know where he is?"

She set aside the cleric as I spoke up, my voice barely above a whisper.

"El?" She looks up at me. "Is there... is there anything, anything at all that you could tell us? Anything that you know about our friend?" I ask, my voice breaking. She gives me a sympathetic smile and clears the board by swiping her arm across the table. We all watch intently as she reaches forward and flips the board upside down.

We all stare at the board and then look to El as she grabs the cleric and slams it down in the center of the board. My stomach seems to drop in perfect sync with the miniature.

"I don't understand." Mike croaks.

The room is silent for a few moments as we stare at El, waiting for her response. "Hiding." Her voice came out in a whisper.

"W-Will is hiding?" I stammer.

She nods her head 'yes'.

My fingers subconsciously begin wringing together as I try and swallow all of this information.

"From the bad men?" Mike clarifies.

Her brows furrow ever so slightly as she shakes her 'no'. I take a deep breath.

"Then from who?"

She looks to her side and grabs another miniature, and places it next to the cleric. I let out a breath of air I didn't even know I was holding when I recognized the dreaded piece. We all look around to each other, a look of horror on our faces. Dustin puts his hands behind his head and I put my head in my hands as I try not to panic.

It was the Demogorgon.

#you'll float queue #stranger things #will byers x reader #reader insert #will byers #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #cosmic #gn!cosmic #y/n henderson #el hopper #eleven #stranger things x reader #x gn!reader #x gender neutral reader #the weirdo on maple street

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valkerymillenia · 4 years ago

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Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #I HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THIS EPISODE!!!

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steve0discusses · 6 years ago

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Yugioh Ep 23 S3: Always Put Guns on Your Satellites

Ah, I’m finally back at my home computer after a little hiatus there. In case you are curious, I went to San Fransisco and then spent about 2 weeks trying to find a single parking spot. But, I’m back in my normal place now, where trash trucks aren’t driving around, breaking the speed barrier at 3 AM and where I don’t have to parallel park at a 45 degree incline. I got my fill of good food, chilling out, getting completely rained out by a freak storm in May, and walking about a mile vertically to go three feet horizontally, it’s time to sit back, relax, and talk about an anime that came out 20 years ago.

Y’all...what were even doing 2 weeks ago? It really does feel like three years.

If memory serves, we are currently in the midst of not one, but 3 Apocalypses. Lets just place em down in case you forgot

1.) The Millennium Item Apocalypse, where if one person gets all 7 (or was it 10?) of the items, the world freakin ends. This is briefly on hold because Bakura, our Millennium item enthusiast, hella died about 24 episodes ago and none of these people have brought it up or tried to contact any sort of governing authority even though Yugi and Tea both witnessed the murder about 7 hours ago (which, for Marik’s credit, did take place over international waters, touche). So, for now, Bakura’s spirit is kinda holed up in Pharaoh’s puzzle necklace so he’s just...chillaxing.

2.) The God Card Apocalypse, where if one person gets all 3 God Cards, the world freakin ends. Briefly on hold because everyone got stuck in a VR universe, and Marik felt like staying on the blimp instead because I dunno maybe he wanted to take a nap or something.

3.) The Matrix, where Seto’s Dad is going to launch a bunch of machines to trap the entire human race in this VR zone against their will and become a slave to the machine overlords. Somehow this is a thing that has been happening in the background this entire series but has only been revealed like...last episode.

Bro is reminding me that I forgot to mention that all these duel monsters are becoming slowly more and more real but like...eh.

There’s three concurrent Apocalypses right now. Don’t forget. There’s three of them.

Anyway, Seto Kaiba has decided it’s about time he deal with his Daddy issues/prevent the Matrix.

While Kaiba has decided to confront his Father, the rest of the people on this show have no freakin idea what to even do so they’re just arguing with eachother in Domino square and getting no where.

Also, I nearly forgot, Joey can’t even beat up Noah currently because Noah switched places with Mokuba, because this isn’t Yugioh unless we start switching brains like it’s as easy as turning your T-shirt inside out.

Of course, in this case, Mokuba didn’t exactly *switch* places with Noah--Moki’s brain is just...floating around this world somewhere. I don’t know if he got stuck in a Monkey or if he’s just...dead...but it just makes absolutely no sense to me how your soul can get sucked into a VR game and now lives tron-style in VR while someone else steers your body which isn’t any more connected to the machine itself, so I’ll just assume he’s dead. It’s just easier to say Moki died, it’s happened so many times to this kid at this point.

Basically, Mokuba is here, but in not-spirit. In every way but spirit.

And about those brain pods--does Yugi’s pod take up 2x the RAM because he’s got two people in that bean or has Noah seriously not noticed this like at all? because there's two dudes in one pod and Noah has just acted like that’s a completely normal thing that can happen.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, the A team has sort of all turned into the B team because only Kaiba’s can really have any active involvement at this part of the arc, so Yugi decides to take a break and enter brain fort. Which, I assume he does just whenever he’s bored. It’s just kind of weird when he decides to do this, without warning, in front of a large group of other people.

Anyway, it’s Yugi, so he somehow turns what is so clearly Kaiba’s problem into this selfish need to carry the torch by himself for no reason.

Like, Yugi is the main character--I get that--he’s gotta be some sort of moral standard because this is a protagonist in a kid’s show, but it is such a stretch for him to still think that there’s any good left in Noah after all the events of this arc. It just comes off that every time Yugi tries to see good in Bakura, or Marik, or the Kaiba family even, he’s maybe doing it out of guilt.

Like Yugi isn’t naive at this point - he set a guy on fire once with Russian Whiskey in a freakin burger diner, and even if you don’t consider Season Zero canon, he also set PaniK on fire and left him to die in the woods (and that nut ABSOLUTELY died), so it just doesn’t make sense to me that he’d helplessly fall victim to a thousand evil assholes who pretended to be his friend. Instead, it’s sort of like Yugi’s trying to overcompensate for the amoral weirdo residing in about 98% of his brain right now.

Overall, TL;DR, Yugi is kind of a weird guy.

Love him, but he’s sort of a walking disaster with some very selfish motivations and I forget. Not about the walking disaster part of course, that part is like clearly very obvious, especially when we find out his grand masterplan.

Also, this happened,

Again, I would be absolutely fine if Tristan just remained like this, talking like the librarian out of Terry Pratchett, taking Serenity to prom just like this.

Anyway, these guys had absolutely nothing to do, so the show invented something on the fly.

If you could copy-paste any card, why not just copy-paste 24 Exodias? Like I get they don’t have God cards here but they have all the other ones, right?

Like I don’t understand the danger here, you can just keep playing cards infinitely because there’s no rules when you’re outside the game. Just keep slapping stuff on your duel disk like it’s that fanmade Yugioh game that they made for real life VR headsets. Youknow the one that was so bad that it became like a viral video, where everyone is a really low poly Yugioh character but they only have like 4 character models, and for some reason one of the four is Yugi but as a girl in a miniskirt? And they’re on the blimp for some reason, and none of them can stand up straight so they kind of duck walk everywhere? That one? The one with Joey saying “It does what it do!”

Like I feel like if even I saw that video show up on my twitter, everyone else has seen that video of just this really bad VR game and I don’t remember what it was called but feel free to google it, it’s a fun 10 minute ride.

Anyway, the mayhem of that viral video is kind of what this entire VR arc is turning into. More and more as we break reality and completely ignore the rules, to the point where now we’re just slapping whatever cards on our duel disk--cards we shouldn’t even freakin have because we identified at the beginning of this season that no one has a deck here.

But anyway, back to the only person who got out of the VR zone, lets see what Noah’s up to. Ah, the real world, where all we ever had to worry about was magic.

This password was so obtuse even Noah, who is literally a computer, forgot it. Wow.

So now that Noah has escaped the computer, he decides to walk down the hall to log onto yet another computer so he could use his hands instead of...however he was using computers in the digital zone.

He could have done this from within the Orb, right? Like this part didn’t really require him stealing Mokuba’s body? We know he’s already connected to Kaiba’s network so he could become ascended and open the Door of Truth, so I’m assuming it would also have the ability to just log onto this computer in his own ship?

Noah does seem to be just winging it through this entire arc, but he could have done this sequence, and THEN stolen Moki, and THEN hightailed it out of there. It would have saved him some problems later. But wtv, lets hack a satellite, that good ol Kaiba pastime.

Also, fun fact, Kaiba went through all that work to get rid of all the weapons and then forgot about his space stash?

Like was there just SO MANY weapons that he overlooked it, or is he just keeping this here, just to have? Just in case, youknow? Like why does Seto Kaiba have access to The Bomb? Why would we leave a horrible nuclear missile in the hands of a teenager who freaks every time he plays cards? This child who is so unstable, that he knows he was married to a paper card in a previous life but doesn’t feel like talking about it? That crazy kid?

Like usually we have a set of two keys for this type of thing and two different people turn the key at the same time, we don’t just leave them in the Seto Kaiba headquarters with the kid who turned all cards into guns. Are all of Seto’s handlers actually just spies from other countries trying to keep Seto from nuking the planet? Is that the real answer to who the hell Roland is? Is he just a nice spy that makes sure Seto plays enough cards to forget that he could blow up the world if he sneezed too much and pressed the wrong key loading up Duel Disk Myspace?

The implications.

Meanwhile, Kaiba is the only one on this show smart enough to just walk into Gozaburo’s office, where I assume this guy has just been hanging out the entire arc.

Yep, that’s right, they’re going to do a card duel with a chess champion because this show has to shoehorn in those cards. Just one more card fight. Just cuz. Just one more completely pointless card fight between these two people, to show...that Seto can beat his Dad? Seto’s beaten his Dad like every opportunity he’s had to beat his Dad I don’t...exactly know why this was necessary. Would’ve been a much bigger emotional beat for Seto to have just walked away, but that would have also been a much different Seto than the Seto we have.

So basically, if Seto loses, Gozaburo threatens to erase Seto’s mind entirely, which we’ve already pointed out has been so wiped at this point that it would be all of 700 KB and it would just be a single corrupted pixel picture of a dragon.

Anyways, Marik finally conquers his greatest enemy.

Oh. OK. This is a thing he can do now. Welcome back to the show, Marik.

Anyway, Marik has decided it’s high time for him to just go flippen spaz and start breaking stuff. For no reason. I don’t think he fully comprehends that he’s underwater and should not blow up the boat.

Or maybe he FULLY comprehends that? Either answer for him would feel correct.

Also, while I don’t cover cards here, Kaiba’s Dad has decided that the only way to beat his son was to pretend he’s Yugi Muto and reenact the pilot.

It was weird. It was sort of like watching someone audition for a role they don’t have.

Lets go back to Noah.

I knew this arc was going kinda long but how did they end up in freakin Guam???

Marik, who has no concept of technology because he grew up in a tomb and is currently possessed by an ancient force of evil, is still able to recognize a good countdown clock when he sees one. Before he bashes it to pieces because of course he can.

Marik almost saved everyone else’s ass, but unfortunately doesn’t understand that the monitor is not actually attached to the workings of the computer. Much like my Mother.

Bro brings up that this a very Metal Gear thing to only use helicopters to travel over the ocean and hot damn we got yet another Metal Gear reference in just before this arc closes. These weird war crime children.

Ps I like that they drew in the shadow of the bangs across Moki’s eyes as if that would somehow make Moki look sinister. lol.

But, much like the Grinch, Noah’s heart grew...well, it grew.

I wouldn’t go as far to say it grew even a full size, but youknow it...kinda made a weird little fart and bloated a little bit.

So like with Tristan turning into a monkey, it does seem a lot like Noah is just turning into Mokuba and that’s why he’s decided to save everyone. Least in my mind that’s what it looks like. Maybe if he really did take Yugi’s body, Noah would have lasted maybe 5 seconds before being doubled over with endless anxiety and guilt. Would’ve solved a lot of their problems.

I’ve been watching a cat while commuting 4 hours a day and this is actual footage of what my charger cable looked like after the cat went Marik on me and decided the cable deserved to die at 3AM after the freakin SF garbage truck went supersonic and woke up the entire neighborhood.

(the cat is fine, btw, we went and hid all the other cords, dumbass cat)

So what does Noah do? He decides...it’s time I fessed up. And he does it in the worst way, during a time when literally everyone else in the VR world is fighting multiple card enemies/their Dad.

Way to be, Noah, way to be. On the other side of town, Yugi was visibly sweating and had this facial of expression of like “Wow, maybe Noah is just a freakin psycopath?” Which, I dunno, kind of seems like the sort of thing we figured out 23 episodes ago, right at the same moment we met Noah.

Anyway, that’s all for this episode. Really seems like the only person who actually DID anything was Noah who just...decided to throw a bunch of missiles directly at himself because he can’t think things through. I guess Marik did some stuff too, but honestly, I have no idea if Marik thoroughly understood that he just guaranteed that he was absolutely going to be destroyed by rockets. That Loki.

Hey if Noah DOES manage to destroy everyone on this boat, he prevents 3 whole apocalypses and that would default him to hero status. He’ll kill off like 3 major villains and maybe even Shadi. And who doesn’t want Shadi to die (who I assume is already dead but wtv) I mean that’s not going to happen, but like...way to try and save the world Noah, you’re doing your best life.

Anyway, if you just got here, here’s a link to read these recaps from the very beginning, fair warning, there’s 2.5 seasons.

#Yugioh #episode recap #photo recap #yugioh recap #ygo #s3 ep23 #Noah Kaiba #Seto Kaiba #Yugi muto #Gozabura Kaiba #Tristan is now just fully a monkey but still a robot #so he's gone from robot monkey to monkey robot #Tea gardner #serenity wheeler #joey wheeler #duke devlin #So Kaiba just didn't feel like mentioning the huge ass rockets he has #and has had all of S1 and S2?#Marik Ishtar

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