#yeah so the doc's writing from his own blog now too lol

[thoughtsofanaveragebeinguncut]

I have two things I wanted to get off my chest, one is more of a general update and the other is my usual rant like monologues about my current state of mind

first off, i love the work culture at my new workplace that i’m working at over the holidays. people are so sweet and it’s so different to the extremely corporate and retail environment that I was exposed to for 4 years at my previous workplace (good for building a cv ig, but was the anguish worth it? (lol i do be exaggerating but it literally felt underappreciated all the time and overworked because they were understaffed). Anyways, back to the matter at hand. Yeah, people are so nice. There is a man, a kindly workplace dad vibes, who said he wouldn’t mind taking me to and from work if I lived in his area (I do not, but it was a kind gesture). There is a girl who overshares about her life but she is always looking out for people and she volunteers to help me get stuff that I can’t get without even me prompting her (bc I’m awkward and feel bad for disrupting her). There is a lady and she is quite scary when she’s mad. Gives scary vibes but after getting to know her better, I can tell that she just speaks her mind and she is kind to me too. 

okay and secondly (really briefly because I need to get up at 6am tmrw for work and I’m tired lol). I received my invoice today for smth that I have to buy as part of my course. And I’m been working 5.5/7 days a week for almost a month now and what I’ve made doesn’t even cover the costs yet DX like wth fml anyways, and that’s not even all of it. Looking at my invoice and the things I’m getting, I feel extremely insecure about my own capabilities. I doubt my own skills and every time I think of what I need to do with the things I need to buy, I hate myself and my lack of ability to do things well. And I am so worried that I’ll never be able to do those things up to the standard that is required of me. idk it’s so pointless to be lost in a spiral of self doubt but I find it so difficult to crawl out of this hole that I’ve dug myself. i accidentally catastrophise too easily :((( eff me 

yeah, i just had no one to rant to so the internet is my free therapy ig, i just needed to vent. i’ve tried journalling but writing takes a lot longer than typing does. and i could just use like a google doc or like a private blog account just for me, but that just doesn’t hit the same (idk maybe one day, i like journalling it just takes so long) but yeah, hopefully i’ll be back soon with more positive feelings but for now, happy holidays and wishing me the best for the new year! 

[knickynoo]

Hi! @/chickenmcfly1 here, I can’t actually send asks Bc my blog is a sideblog and idk how to work tumblr lol, but I realized I’d never sent you an ask even though I feel like we’ve rambled a lot on each other’s posts and I appreciate your takes so much so here’s one. What do you think the new 2015 McFly family is like? What is Marty like as a dad and what are jr and Marlene like (do they have the same names?) Etc. Have a good day!!

Yes, we do ramble on each other's posts a lot, don't we? And I think I've sent you a couple of asks at some point, so now that you've sent me one the cycle is complete. 😆

McFly fam 2015:

Marty is psyched to be a father (he's also very nervous, but mostly he's excited), and he's an emotional wreck when the twins are born and cries because he's so happy.

Jennifer, despite having gotten that look at the sad, dysfunctional version of her future family in 2015, feels a lot of hope as she and Marty really begin their life together. She's confident that she and Marty have grown enough as people and will make the right choices to help make a bright future for themselves as a family.

Though by the time his kids are born, Marty's had several years in his updated, more stable family, he's still obviously been shaped by his upbringing in the old timeline. As such, he's very focused on raising his kids with love, support, and encouragement. He protects them, but also allows them to try new things and experience the success and failure that comes with it. He corrects and guides them, but is careful not to be overly critical because he knows what it's like to feel like you're being put under a microscope and having your shortcomings pointed out.

Jennifer loves being a mother, and I can see her wanting to stay home for a while when the twins are young and just devoting her time to being with them. She takes them on outings to expose them to different experiences, has them in playgroups with the kids of her friends, and sets up all sorts of cute routines for them at home (afternoons where they do crafts, bedtime stories, etc).

Marty often fills the house with music. He writes and sings songs for the kids from the time they're born and has special songs for both of them.

Idk if I have many specific ideas on what Jr. and Marlene are like, but I do think that Jr. would be somewhat different than what we see in the movie. He's still shy and sort of discombobulated and easily flustered (takes after his dad that way), but he's not a complete pushover or easily manipulated/bullied by others. Marty and Jen, being much more involved in the new future, model to Jr. from a young age how to deal with those situations and stand up for himself. Plus, having parents who are in a healthy marriage and are overall happy really helps him to not be so anxious.

There's a draft of pt II where Marty (our Marty) is upset to discover that Jr. is in a remedial school, and while I don't like the way it's handled in the draft and am glad it was cut, I actually like that detail in general and am gonna insert it into the future I imagine for them. Mainly because I want to imagine future-Marty not being at all ashamed that his son needs help academically/has a learning disability, and instead being a father who lovingly supports Jr. and wants to do all he can to help him be successful.

Marlene is very independent from a young age. She definitely "mothers" Jr. to the point where Jen sometimes has to be like, "Um, hey. Hi. Yeah, I'm the mom, ok? Go and color or something."

Marlene and Jr. have their own lives and friends, but when it comes down to it, they're each other's best friend. They have all these weird, elaborate inside jokes that leave Marty and Jen scratching their heads because they just have no clue what is going on or what their kids are talking about.

Overall, the McFlys are a tight-knit, loving family. Marty and Jennifer create a wonderful life for themselves and feel happy and fulfilled. They never forget what could have been (and almost was) though, and it makes them all the more thankful for the choices they made and the way they've stuck together through the years.

SIDE NOTE: Doc is also very involved with the McFly fam because I said so, and also because his medical overhaul adding 40 years to his life allows him to continue to be around for a long time. He's known as Uncle Doc and Marlene and Jr. LOVE when he comes to visit because it's nonstop chaos and fun and he brings great presents. Although, they are a little confused as to exactly how old he is and try over the years to get a straight answer and figure it out but never can, so they eventually just accept that it's part of the mystery of Uncle Doc.

Thanks for the ask! Hope you have a good day too! Also, thanks for the quality responses you always add to my posts. =)

[tinyboxxtink]

“Sharky” *Part 13*

Alright y’all it kind of ends in a janky place but 1) its almost 3 am here, 2) this is NINE pages in a Google Doc and 3) I want at least two or more chapters for this one, a nice 1-5.

I think I enjoy writing this one so much because I’ll be totally honest I LOVE writing Rafael as a “morally gray” character. A little “Darker Side” Rafael. And, I love writing a bitch. lol. 

Warning: If you’re pro-life this chapter may be a little offensive, if you’re a fan of “Pure and Honest” Rafael, this chapter may upset you.

You have been warned. 

Tag List

@wanniiieeee​

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@dumauier

@gibbs274

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative​

@word-scribbless​

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7 Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 14

-----

You watched nervously as Buchanan and Parker approached you and Barba; what did they want?

“You know Y/L/N you just make it SO HARD to stay mad at you!!” Buchanan laughed. 

“Excuse me…?” You looked at Barba and then back at Buchanan with a confused look. 

“That display up there, the stunt you pulled, it was…” He ended his sentence with a chef’s kiss. “You know I forgot what it was like to watch you in court, I may have been too quick to my gun,”

“I’m sorry, is that an apology?”  You raised an eyebrow.

“Well, in a sort of way yes,” He nodded, then turned his gaze to Barba. “But I really wanted to come over here and compliment Barba,”

“Excuse me?”  Now Barba raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you watched Y/L/N gobble up that pitiful mother,”  He smirked. “I’d say you looked practically giddy,”

“What? Rafael!” You hit him, using his real name. “You’re supposed to look sad, you’re the soft one here!” 

“See now I don’t think he is,” Buchanan crossed his arms. “I think he may be more of a shark than I anticipated, thanks to you,” 

“What? No, that’s not--” Barba  shook his head with a laugh.

“Barba, how did you feel watching your girl up there? Be honest,”

“I mean, she was defending me…”  He looked down at the ground in guilt. 

“She WAS,” Buchanan nodded. “She was VERY MUCH defending you. I mean, I don’t think I’ve seen you ever be that petty or ruthless, Y/L/N,”

You shifted uncomfortably, glancing between Rafael and Buchanan. Why did this not sound like a compliment anymore?

“You knew damn well that coercion argument wasn’t going to work, you just wanted to get that woman to lie on the stand so you could see her carted off to prison for hurting your little puppy here,” He continued to make you feel more uneasy. 

“He makes you fight harder and stronger, Y/L/N; I think you two could be a very powerful defense couple,” Buchanan finished with an evil grin.

“What? That’s not--” Rafael  tried to interject but you talked over him.

“Buchanan, look,” You got in his face. “Even if Rafael became a shark, neither of us would ever work for you,” 

“Oh really? What are you gonna do, open your own practice?”

“Maybe!” You challenged him. “You just said we’d make a very powerful couple, and after I get him off on this case, people will be banging down my doors just THROWING money at me,” 

“Yeah well, you haven’t won yet, Cobra,” Buchanan’s smile vanished from his face. “I wouldn’t make such hefty promises to your client there,” He nodded to Barba with a smirk, before him and Parker went back to their seats in the gallery.

“Cobra?” Rafael raised an eyebrow at your nickname. 

“Like a spitting cobra,” You couldn’t help but giggle, glancing over at Olivia who looked livid.

“Nice, Cobra,” He rolled his eyes with a half smile. “Do you think he’s right?”

“What Buchanan?” You asked. “About what?”

“The thing he said about you never being that ruthless before-- is that true? Do I….bring out the worst in you?” He asked hesitantly.

“No!” You wanted to grab him by the shoulders but didn’t want to show too much emotion, so you just threw your hands in the air. “No, Ba--Rafael,” You said in a hushed tone. “You make me better, in every sense of the word,” 

“Yeah, apparently even a better shark,”

“Well what’s wrong with that?” You crossed your arms. 

“Nothing I just-- I think he is right, about me being a shark,” He looked away in guilt again.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because,” He looked around the courtroom making sure no one was watching you talk. “I should be upset at what you did, I should be able to see Mrs. Price’s side, that she was at the end of her rope and just wanted what was best for her son,”

“But…?” You weren’t sure where he was going with this.

“...But all I can think now is that bitch manipulated me, and I never saw it coming! I had it in my mind that I was the one who came up with helping her, myself. And I just watched her completely--” He took a breath, trying not to lose it. “....Now all I can think about is how much better I feel after watching her being dragged off,” He scoffed as he glanced in the direction they had taken Mrs. Price.

“Well, I mean that’s-- that’s understandable. So what, now are you going to be upset that I’ve tainted you?” You rolled your eyes.

“No!” He took your hands, and you let him because this was literally everything you had hoped for in a moment.

“I’m saying-- that I understand you a lot more. That things aren’t just black and white, and sometimes the good guys are just bad guys painted to look pretty,” 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, it was like a dream. For the very first time since you had known each other, Rafael was on your side-- completely. He finally understood you; he didn’t think you were evil, or conniving, or even sneaky; he finally got it. A tiny voice inside you said you probably should feel bad that you actually were bringing him to the “Dark Side”, but the other 99% didn’t care. You knew you’d NEVER have to compete with Olivia Benson ever again.

“Why...Mr. Barba,” You dropped his hands and looked around. “Is that a fin I see sprouting out of your back?” 

“I don’t know, maybe,” He shrugged. “All I know is I feel safe with you, and watching you fight like hell for me is a super turn on,” He added with an evil grin. 

“Barba!” You hit him. “Save it,” 

“Court will be back in session in two minutes!” A guard announced as everyone took their seats once again. Mr. Price and Stone returned to their desk; Mr. Price was still scowling at you and Barba.

“Now Miss Y/L/N,” The judge warned you. “I will not tolerate you badgering another witness like poor Mrs. Price,” 

“Poor Mrs. Price?!” You scoffed with a laugh. “Give me a break--” You glanced at the judge who was clearly NOT amused, so you stopped laughing and gave him a serious look. “Yes judge. Don’t worry judge, I can promise you my next witness will receive nothing but kindness from me,”

“Well then go ahead,” The judge warily let you continue. You strutted up to the witness stand and read aloud: “I’d like to call my next witness, Dr. Eric Ramoray,” 

A fairly older man in a suit stood up and walked up to the witness stand. He was sworn in and then took a seat, waiting for you to question him.

“How are you today Dr. Ramoray?”

“Good,” 

“Wonderful. Dr. Ramoray, where do you work?”

“The Saint Mary Magdalene's Free Clinic in Brooklyn,”

“I see, and what exactly are the services provided at this clinic?”

“We help expectant mothers take care of their bodies, offer free contraceptives, and provide other services,”

“Meaning like, abortions right? It’s an abortion clinic,” You asked frankly.

“That’s a very derogatory term ma’am and I don’t appreciate--” He began to answer with an offended tone.

“YOU MURDER BABIES FOR A LIVING!!!” Mr. Price yelled. 

“Mr. Stone do we need to remove your client?” 

“No, your honor,” Stone patted the back of Mr. Price and made him sit down.

“So sorry about that, Doctor,” You patted the witness stand. “And I’m sorry to use such a crude term because you are right, that’s a very derogatory word and a very narrow minded view of what you do,”

“It’s quite alright, I’m used to it,” He chuckled.

“I bet you are,” You nodded. “Tell me, Dr. Ramoray, how do you sleep at night?”

“You mean like what kind of bed?”

“No, I mean the quality of your rest. Do you sleep soundly in your bed at night, after a long day at work?”

“....Yes?” He answered quizzically.

“Really? Day after day, procedure after procedure, you just leave the office and have a  steak dinner at home with the missus?”

“Why yes, I don’t understand why I’m up here being judged for my--” He looked at the judge for help.

“Miss Y/N…” The judge warned. 

“Right, right. Sorry judge, that’s a little harsh,” You nodded. “I’m sorry again, Dr. Ramoray, but just why is it that you find your job so easy to just clock out and walk away from every day?”

“....Because I perform medical procedures that help women, both mentally and physically,” 

“EXACTLY,”  You clapped your hands together.

“...I’m sorry?” The doctor was clearly confused.

“You are absolutely correct, Dr. Ramoray,” You paced around the front of the courtroom. “You provide a service, that HELPS women,” 

“Where is this going, your honor?” Stone interjected.

“Enough showboating Miss Y/N, make your point please,” The judge begged.

“Right your honor,” You nodded again and walked up to Dr. Ramoray.

“Dr. Ramoray, forgive me for asking but-- have you ever been called a ‘murderer’?”

“Just about daily,” He chuckled. 

“And that doesn’t bother you? You don’t carry that label home with you?”

“No, I don’t because it is small minded and ignorant, and a completely false comparison,”

“THANK YOU,” You clapped your hands again, trying not to get overexcited. “Dr. Ramoray, would you elaborate on that, please?” 

“People think that ‘abortion doctors’ spend all day slicing up living human beings, which is preposterous--” The doctor started.

“NO IT’S NOT!!! BABIES ARE MADE AT CONCEPTION!!!” Mr. Price screamed.

“Stone show your client out,” The judge instructed Stone.

“Oh no judge, please don’t,” You gave him a sincere look. “I want to watch Mr. Price hear every single word of this,”

“.....I don’t like this, but alright,” 

“Thank you,” You smiled at the judge then turned back to the doctor. “So doctor, why is it ‘preposterous’ to call doctors such as yourself ‘murderers’?”

“We don’t kill living human beings, there are very strict rules and very strict laws about D&C’s,”

“D and C’s, could you explain that term to the court?”

“Dilation and curettage, we dilate the woman’s cervix and cut away the tissue inside,” 

“THE BA---” Mr. Stone clamped a hand over Mr. Price’s mouth before he could yell.

“Tissue, uh huh and anything else?” 

“Depending on where the woman is in her pregnancy, we remove the zygote, the embryo or the fetus,”

“Ah, yes,” You nodded. “You know, I’m a pretty smart lawyer but those terms are just so foreign to me!” You said in a goofy mocking tone. “Could you explain all those terms to us, Doctor?”

“A zygote is a term we use for an organism that has been fertilized by both a female and male, after that it’s called an embryo and after that it is called a fetus,” He explained. 

“And at no point do you ever call them ‘babies’?” You clarified.

“No, that’s absurd. A baby is a fully formed human being, removed from a mother’s uterus,”

“How is this relevant judge, my client’s child was just that, a human being removed from his mother’s womb, not a zygote or an embryo, or even a fetus. A living breathing CHILD. If anything Ms. Y/N is digging her client a bigger hole,” Stone objected, gesturing towards Barba. 

“Hey! Objection your honor, this is my witness and Mr. Stone is being a complete jackass,” You snapped and turned to Rafael, who had a worried expression. You mouthed to him “I got this”.

“He is making a point though Miss Y/N,”

“Well if he would stop interrupting, I’d get to the part where he’s WRONG,” You narrowed your eyes at Stone.

“Alright, continue,” The judge allowed.

“Thank you,” You casually ran your hand through your hair but with your middle finger sticking up, pointing it straight at Stone out of the judge’s eyesight.

“Doctor Ramoray, you said there are very strict rules about these different stages of a living being, yes?”

“Yes, absolutely. There have to be several tests done the later the pregnancy, to make absolutely sure the fetus cannot be qualified as a human being,”

“Yes, the very strict very REAL qualifications of a ‘human being’, doctor,” You nodded, licking your lips for another kill. 

“You know I could just ask you Doctor Ramoray what those qualifications were, but I know golden boy Stone over there would try and object that it’s just your word over his, so I brought this very large very REAL medical journal, written by many REAL doctors,” You walked over to where Barba was sitting and pulled out what looked like a thick encyclopedia. You hauled it over and opened it to a dog eared page.

“Doctor Ramoray, with that big beautiful working doctor brain, could you please read the MEDICAL DEFINITION of a ‘human being’?” You bared your pearly whites at Stone and Mr. Price.

“A man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech, and upright stance.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” You smiled sweetly, taking the book from him and placing it on the floor. “If anyone still doubts me or Dr. Ramoray, I’ve printed out copies for everyone,” You continued to smile as a guard passed out the copies you made to the jury. As they read, they began murmuring to each other. You looked at Barba, who was starting to smile. You looked at Stone and Mr. Price, who were squirming in their seats. You could feel their metaphorical bones of “hope” dissipating under the “teeth” of your argument. 

“Doctor Ramoray, you’ve seen the charts of this ‘Samuel’, have you not?” You asked calmly.

“I have,” He nodded. 

“And please, nice and loud for the people in the back of the courtroom-- Would you consider the subject ‘Samuel’ to be in fact, a living human being?” You turned to face the entire room as if it was your stage, and this was your spotlight moment.

“I would not,” The doctor spoke into the microphone so he was extra loud, sending the gallery into mild chaos. The victim’s side of the crowd were yelling in outrage, the defense side containing most of your firm was applauding. 

“ORDER, ORDER!!” 

“Oh I’m not done, judge,” You gave him a mischievous smile.

“You better almost be Ms. Y/N,” He grumbled.

“So doctor, please tell me-- in MEDICAL DEFINITIONS, what would the subject ‘Samuel’ be classified as?”

“Well, a fetus usually gains some brain function after the 10th week or so, and this ‘Samuel’ had zero brain function, so my medical opinion would be to call it either an embryo or fetus,” He concluded.

“But NOT a human being?” You stared right at Stone and his client while asking the question. 

“Oh no, certainly not,” The doctor shook his head.

“So, really what Mr. Barba did was get rid of an embryo, or fetus correct?” You looked over at Barba who was surprisingly reveling in the show. 

“Yes in no certain terms,” 

“Doing no more than what you do every single day?” You asked in a very condescending tone to the room.

“Indeed,”

“And what YOU DO, is NOT illegal?” You emphasized.

“Not in the state of New York, no,”

“Not in the beautiful state of New York, indeed,” You grinned, turning to the judge. “Would you look at that judge, turns out my client didn’t do anything illegal AT ALL,”

“OBJECTION,” Stone bellowed.

“Oh what now, boy scout?” You snapped. 

“If what Y/N is implying, then she is saying what Mr. Barba did is equivalent to an abortion, which he is NOT licensed to do,” Stone barked.

“Oh please, Stone,” You scoffed. “He didn’t go in that room and slice up the thing, he unplugged a cord,”

“But still--” Stone wasn’t giving up.

“And your honor, may I point out that if you send my client to prison for pulling a plug, you’re going to open a whole can of worms of loved ones who unplug their family members EVERY DAY,” You gave him a “look”.

“....She is right Stone. I sympathize for you Mr. Price, but I cannot be responsible for opening a wormhole for my fellow judges to suffer with,” The judge shook his head at Mr. Price who was crumbling.

“So let me just make this clear to EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM,” You said loud and proud, making sure the reporters were jotting this down. 

“In the medical and legal terms, my client Mr. Barba did nothing wrong. The fact that Pro-Life Pappy here thinks that Mr. Barba is a  ‘murderer’, is IRRELEVANT,” You stomped right up to Mr. Price and practically spat in his face.

“Therefore my client should be cleared of all charges IMMEDIATELY, and be allowed to leave here RIGHT NOW,” You stomped your stiletto with a sassy flick of your wrists. 

“Based on the evidence the defense has provided and pending verification of all said testimony and documents, I have no choice but to rule in favor of the Defense. Mr. Barba you are free to go,” The judge banged his gavel.

“Jordan fades back, Swish! And THAT’S THE GAME!!!!!” You made a ball making basket pantomime and fist pumped as the courtroom erupted into actual chaos. Your peers were now full on cheering for you, and the victim’s side was calling for your blood.

“YOU’LL ROT IN HELL FOR THIS YOU BITCH!!!! YOU HEAR ME?! IN HELL!!!!!!!” Mr. Price was now dragged kicking and screaming from the courtroom while Stone shook his head in defeat. 

You turned and gave a little bow and a wave to your admirers with one hand, and shot a middle finger to your haters on your left as you sauntered right up to Rafael.

“Now I see what Buchanan was talking about,” You grinned at him. “You have the look of downright bloodlust, Barba!” 

“That was….” Barba smiled. “That was a beautiful thing to watch,” 

“Really? Even with your sad little squad over there dabbing their eyes and nursing the boy scout’s wounds?” You gestured to his squad who were patting Stone’s back no doubt telling him what a “wonderful” job he did.

“If they’re honestly upset that I’m not going to prison for doing NOTHING wrong, then they can go fuck themselves,” He rolled his eyes at his former friends.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Rafael Barba?” You were shocked at this new man standing before you.

He paused for a moment, like he was grieving his former self, then answered with an evil smile. “I think...I ate him,”

“Yeah you did!” You slapped him on the back like an “attaboy”.

“Now can we kiss because I might just explode if I can’t,” He went to put his arms around your waist.

“Alright slow down there tiger, I don’t want Stone yelling for a recount,” You pulled him by his necktie out the door of the courtroom and over to a pillar out of public view.

“Proceed, counselor,” You barely had the words out before Rafael hungrily grabbed you in a passionate kiss, running his hands all over your body. 

“Rafa!” You giggled, as he kissed your neck even after you broke your kiss. “Not here, Sharky’s waiting at home,” 

“What if I want Cobra?” He asked with an evil grin.

“.....Is that really who you want? Cobra? All the time? ”You stopped him and looked at him seriously.

���What? No! Wha-- why are you making this a bad thing baby, come on,” He looked at you quizzically. “Aren’t you happy? Isn’t this what you wanted?” 

You thought for a moment-- was it what you wanted? Sure you wanted Rafael to understand you, to maybe see your side and be your partner but-- you still liked the man you would battle in court before all of this. The guy who stood up for the little man, who actually gave a damn about his clients and not just the paycheck. The guy who had actual FRIENDS, not just “colleagues”. Were you really erasing that guy? 

“Maybe it’s not,” You pushed him aside and walked away, but you could hear Rafael trailing behind you this time, he wasn’t letting you leave him speechless for a third time. 

What would you say to him when he caught you?

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

[allsassnoclass]

I would like a director's cut for Puzzle Pieces OR the lashton christmas present one you wrote for my prompt about what other gifts you had they do

well for the Christmas one (that was teacher!lashton, yeah?) I can tell you that I did not have a good time picking out the presents lol. I low-key hate choosing gifts for fics (I have a prompt from November that includes gift-giving that I still haven’t done yet for this reason).  I don’t consider myself a very good gift-giver, so figuring out what characters would give each other stresses me out.  In the end I couldn’t come up with a singular gift that would be expensive or meaningful for this Luke for a secret Santa, so instead I gave Ashton too much inspiration and let him choose multiple gifts.  I found half of them by googling good/meaningful gifts and picking what I thought Ashton could/would feasibly get.

I’ve already talked about Puzzle Pieces a while ago here but I will say more things under the cut (spoiler warning, obviously lol). some day I will combine these two asks into one director’s cut master post

so puzzle pieces. my baby. my pride and joy.  this idea started forming back in May (I know because I was looking through my asks to Helen on her blog recently and I mentioned it).  It took a while to get to though, because I needed to let it simmer in the back and wanted to work on too close to see first.  I love soulmate aus that include platonic soulmates without specifying what soulmate is which type, and I really like the idea of soulmate aus where first physical contact produces a color, so you don’t necessarily know if you’re soulmates right away.  two things somewhat bother me about soulmate aus and one of them is that once two people discover that they’re soulmates it’s easy smooth sailing with no buffer period.  like whenever two soulmates meet for the first time and then kiss after five minutes it’s very ???? to me because you don’t know that person!!! you don’t know them!!!!! part of what I wanted to show in this one was the development of a relationship between everyone, and one way to do that was to make First Touches a big deal so the boys didn’t necessarily know they were soulmates right away with the exception of malum, but they were babies and little kids sometimes become bffs within 2 minutes anyway so I figured that was okay.  how our society would change if soulmates existed in a distinguishable way is something I've thought of a lot, and that manifested as it being a Big Deal to touch someone for the first time in this fic.

originally, way back in the day, I was going to have a different color for each pairing, but that was going to get really messy really fast, so instead I gave each person their own color that they leave on everyone else.  I talk about why I chose each color in the other ask.

two of my favorite scenes to write were the scene right after the recording studio where Ashton tells Michael about his dad and the scene where Ashton touches everyone else for the first time.  I just really like Ashton/mashton lol but I also felt like the scene in the car fixed another thing about soulmates that bothers me: love takes work!!! I really wonder how many soulmate relationships would be happy ones if we had marks to designate soulmates in the real world. I wanted to ensure that our soulmate relationships in this fic were not friends/partners because they’re soulmates, but because they genuinely enjoy each other and put work into the relationship.  revealing that soulmarks could theoretically disappear like Ashton’s dad’s did was one way to put that in context of the greater universe.  earlier in the fic I mention also that soulmarks show how easy it should theoretically be to love someone, not that you love them.  they are not a guarantee.  giving Ashton abandonment issues made his acceptance of the boys as his soulmates that much sweeter in my opinion, because accepting their marks was his way of saying that he trusts them to put in the work to love him.

I know I've mentioned this before but Michael wasn’t ace until about 4 days before I posted.  I’m pretty sure there was a conversation about ace rep in fics that I witnessed in the early early days of the club and then I looked at the (almost finished) doc and was like. hang on a sec. I could add two sentences and as its written right now this guy would be ace. so that’s what I did! because it turns out a lot of Michael’s “is this platonic or romantic” dilemma/crisis fits really well with my ace experience.  write what you know, amiright lads?

also an underrated line in this is Calum is an old, comfortable sweater, but Luke is like a favorite pair of shoes.  They both fit him perfectly.  He feels more at home when either of them are around, and although the love he has for Calum is different, he thinks he could love Luke just as much.  He thinks he might, by now. like bruh that’s the point of the whole fic! loving people differently, not less/more!!!!! also I just really like that comparison of the clothing items.  feels good feels authentic.

the first time this was referred to as an ot4 fic it threw me off because it’s not romantic between the four of them but I like that people say it’s an ot4 fic because the mashton and muke friendships are just as important as malum in my eyes, although I love malum in this dearly and think they’re super super cute.

also initially I thought it was going to be around 8k.  whenever I give myself a word count limit I think a fic will be, I exceed it.  that’s fine though I'm okay with that. it’s a lot more important to tell the story in the amount of words it needs than to either rush it or elongate it.

anyway those are the puzzle pieces thoughts for the night, tune back next time for more that I'll inevitably be able to dig up because I will never get tired of talking about this fic

[jtrbluv]

tag game !

tagged by the lovely linh @latetaektalk ,, thank u soso much! this was so fun omg

tagging: @allurain @koushiningg @dreamystuffers @jinpanman @dulce-pjm @suhdays @pjmsdior @bangtans-peaceful-piegon @sugacouture

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

um i didn't rly write for any fandoms when i was younger, but i knew my 12yo self was probably conjuring harry potter headcanons in my head D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

for now, and for a long time, i've been writing for bts. i've like always been a multi from the moment i got into kpop but i've never actually fleshed out any of the wips i had for any other groups LMFAO. honorable mentions are got7, skz, haikyuu yup

3. how long have you been writing?

a longggg time, i think. i enjoyed writing fiction as a kid a lot. most of it would be like off-brand spy kids/harry potter/hunger games type beat stuff. and it was awful. but i was literally like 9 so cut me some slackLKSDFJSLKDjf

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

primarily tumblr and i only recently made an ao3 acc. the only fic i have on there is a tae drabble that's already posted on here LOL. i think it's 'resolutely, yours.' but i don't even remember bye. i remember i drafted drivers license on there but i literally forgot to post it so it's probably gone HAHA.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

e2l even though i have no e2l fics on this blog i think

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i used to never plan my fics, like at all. but then i was so unsatisfied with the flow of things and like idk lack of clarity. drivers license was the first time i actually sat down and planned out an entire fic as i was writing it. it rly does make things easier when u have an idea of what u want. and then just having the idea can help you possibly expand on it and get even better ideas off of it. the events of drivers license and the order it was all written in changed like 20394803 times. but yeah, does that make sense... LMFAO

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i can never fucking get myself to finish a series. i love reading them tho

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

no clue. i love long stories and slow burn tho, it's just so satisfying and $wag when it's well-written and the characters are well-written too.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

the fic i'm about to post is nearing 20k, and it might even surpass that which will end up being the longest story on this blog. insane! drivers license is around 10k i think, and then if u combine the wnrs couple's fics it's like 15k? im too lazy to look tbh SRy

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh drivers license for sure! i don't think i've ever immersed myself and put so much effort into a story before. it was truly an amazing experience, and i just know that i'll probably never be able to write anything like that fic ever again. it's rly one of a kind for me.

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

most of the requests i had on this blog got taken down bc they were so bad. i'm not sure if the yoongi superhero!au is still up on here, but i'd choose that one since i really had to branch out of my writing style for it. regardless of it being like barely 2k.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

miscommunication, so much banter, i used to see this a lot but i would take it out but... head bonking ??LSKDFJHAHA, my side characters being dumbasses and then my main characters being even bigger dumbasses (oc probably being the biggest dumbass)

13. current number of wips?

during the course of writing the current fic i plan on posting this week, i created like 5 wips and they all hit 5k, and then i straight up abandoned them. and then the endless idea bank google doc. so if i count the wips i for sure want to finish by like this year or summer... like 3 or 4.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i feel like i repeat stuff a lot throughout all my stories LOL,, it irks me so bad. i think i relate to all my ocs in at least one way or another.

15. a quote you like from a published story

alrighty this is a lil snippet from 'drivers license':

this is from the second letter oc wrote to jk:

"The same delusional daydreamer hopes that one day we can talk and laugh like old pals. Like nothing ever changed between us. I hope you achieve your dreams that you always thought seem too far-fetched, yet in the back of my mind I always knew you could easily grasp. I hope someday you can live a life of lesser worries and insecurities, because you rarely had any to start off with. I always hoped the world for you, because you deserve it. And despite everything, I still believe you do."

this paragraph seems pretty simple but i think it did the best job of like describing oc's emotions and realization of things,, its kinda cliche tew yas love that

16. a quote from an unpublished story

alr this is from the e2l jimin series that is going to take me forever to write bc the outline for it is SO LONG

“Would it kill you to at least show up with a shirt on?“ You sneer, patting your forehead with the back of your hand due to the sweltering sun. The event hasn’t even started yet and you can already feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck.

Crossing his arms, he scoffs, his biceps bulging out as his arms bend. Not like you were staring at them. “Sorry couldn’t hear you, too busy boosting the school’s morale.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

i feel like i don't show enough appreciation to my readers and mutual on this blog. i have met so many lovely people and have gotten so much support, i hope u all know that it does NOT go unnoticed. i always tend to go back and reread all the comments and asks that i get on my stories bc it rly does make my heart soar. it makes my day!!! thank u all for sticking with me thru all my 3am shitposts and inconsistent writing schedule LOL,, you all have my whole heart and some more <3

[clumsyclifford]

6, 12, 14, 15, & 21 for the writing asks? -megs 💙

hachi machi okie dokie how many more nonsense rhymes can i say ok that's it great let's go

6. What fic is on your back burner, waiting to be written when you feel your skill matches its potential? answered this one here! i'm SURE there are more though let me check my fic ideas doc (fun fact my fic ideas doc is still called "Malum fic ideas:" from back in the early days of this blog when i was chiefly writing malum because of helen). oh! well. the major league baseball au is still uh, kinda back burner-y. that's another one that i started and then ran face first into a wall known as The Wall of Trying To Realistically Represent A Situation I've Never Been In But Also Include Romance Which Would Not Typically Exist In This Setting So I'm Really Setting Myself Up For Failure Here it's a really annoying wall i know hazel hits it too so i'm just ignoring it for the moment. i also think a castaways fic (the concept, not the song) would be really awesome but tricky because, once again, i've never actually BEEN a castaway, and my knowledge of the topic is pretty heavily based on the book hatchet so like. yeah. i have a lot.

12. Where do you commonly find inspiration for your stories? everywhere! i saw in your answer you said you hear song lyrics and think they'd make good fic titles, i do EXACTLY the same thing (hence the doc "good lyrics for titles"). one day ill make that doc into a prompt list and post it on here and just fuck myself over. previously ive gotten some inspiration from movies but i shortly after completing baby driver au i realized that was a fluke and that in general i am pretty bad at making fics out of movie plots because i am very bad at remembering salient details about movies in the order that they happen. like i started a robin hood (2018) au but barely got anywhere with it because i realized i had never actually understood the plot well enough to write it. i would say the things that inspire me the most are songs (we know i loooove a songfic, mostly bc they make the job so easy by just laying out the plot and vibe for me) and also things that happen to me and feelings i have about those things. unfortunately many of my experiences are not universal (hello jewish summer camp) which may be part of why i've had so much trouble coming up with ideas lately. but as soon as i'm back at school i get the feeling i'll be doing fine again.

14. Share a few sentences of what you’re currently working on? what AM i currently working on? technically speaking i'm kinda sorta working on two things but one of them just doesn't have a good snippet and i don't wanna do a Reveal yet so ill give you this one instead, from a fic i might never even post:

“Oh, I meant to tell you, my mum called earlier, she asked if you’re okay.” Ashton’s mum always asks if Luke is okay. Exactly that way, is Luke doing okay?, like Luke gives off some kind of not-doing-okay vibe. He suspects it’s a leftover instinct from his and Ashton’s mutual breakdown a few years back, but honestly, he’s doing better now. It’s sweet of her to ask, but she could just ask about him the same way she asks about Michael and Calum. How’s Luke? would be fine.

“I am great,” Luke says. “How’s she? Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay,” Ashton says. “She’s started taking Harry to look at some universities.” He pauses. “University. You know? What the fuck?”

“No way,” Luke says, and tries to work out if he’s meant to be surprised by that. He can’t remember how old Harry is. Clearly almost uni-age. Ashton’s told him this a million times, but Luke can’t keep track when the answer keeps changing. He doesn’t want Ashton to think he’s forgotten, so he just says, “That’s insane.”

15. What are some of your favorite tropes to write? Do they match the ones you read? answered this one here as well! i've managed to get unbelievably long-winded answering every single one of these questions so far so i won't write another answer for this one

21. Do you have any stories you’ve written completely but never posted? Why? Please tell us about them? yes!! i have a handful. let me hunt them down. okay final answer, i have five!

one is an au based on the prompt "we’re at a party and someone asks what your type is and you describe me perfectly while staring right at me” which i never posted because i wrote it a while ago and honestly i don't think it's good enough to post. also i kinda don't like the background character i made jack barakat. i could edit it. but. ehh

one is a fic that is set in the daydream jalex fic 'verse, but the only way it's relevant to that 'verse is because it has ace!jack, and it's highly personal and probably the most projection-heavy fic i've ever written and i never posted it because i'm nervous to be Known like that lol

one is technically emo lashton, but not actually set in the emo lashton 'verse that i've created, and that one is ALSO one of the most projection-heavy fics i've ever written. it's usually the fics that are full of projection but in a specific way that i think isn't really relatable that i write but don't end up posting. it's a good fic honestly i wouldn't be against posting it i just never have. also partially because i'm between two titles for that fic lol

one is.......something that was originally going to be set in a different fic universe (for a fic i havent posted or finished writing lol), but now i don't know if it will necessarily fit in that 'verse, so it's kind of its own very short but complete thing. i never posted it because (1) it's super short, less than 1k, and i don't like to post stuff that short, and also (2) just in case it DOES fit the fic 'verse, i don't wanna give away the ending, lmao

and lastly there's a fic i wrote in an excited haze when sam and meghna and i made the ssf and the aces plans, which is like, ot4 meeting but they're all internet friends. guess what inspired that. i'll never post it because it really wasn't written with the intention of posting it, i sent it to sam and meghna and they were the only people i wanted to read it and they have so <3

writing asks

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[snarkwrites]

Abandoned amusement part for spooky locale prompt

Oooh, thank you for sending this. I love this idea, by the way. One thing came to mind when I got this and that was that I wonder how this would play out in the Walking Dead universe . So, hope you don’t mind! I hope you like this. I also hope it’s actually worth a shit. The idea came to me like this so I went all in with it. And I really, really enjoyed doing it. FYI, I almost went with AHS:Freak Show, but yeah..

I enjoyed doing this, again. Thank you for sending it.

[ send a character name / spooky scenario and location and I’ll write a drabble about it ]

WARNINGS:

uhh.. An OC of mine, Evie Grimes has been revamped. And she may or may not be a little out there in some ways... Like.. Too much. Idk. Lots of swearing. Mentions of gunshots. Me, dicking around with my own alternate universes and what actually took place on the series.... Again, lol.

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave 

@kyleoreillysknee 

@rampagewriting 

@missjenniferb 

** off the top of my head, these are the only people I could think might even want a tag.. If you wanna be tagged in my writing on this blog pls see the tag doc link below. Or tell me.]

OTHER STUFF:

[ masterlist - about page - tag doc ] 

My lungs burned but I didn’t dare stop. A chain link fence stood between me and my doom and without thinking, I scaled the fence right as a decayed hand raised and very nearly got hold of the heel of my biker boot. I kicked free and tumbled down onto the other side.

I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t turn back. Give the finger to the horde of zombies I’d been outrunning. Probably wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had, but... I did it. After turning away from the horde and moving quickly past a tattered and worn red and white striped tent close to me, I crouched down and started to work on reloading my gun. Once I got that reloaded, I reached behind me and produced my bow, making sure I still had a few arrows left in my quiver. Satisfied that I had my gun loaded and I hadn’t used all my arrows yet, I took a second or two to catch my breath.

The smell of smoke hung heavily in the air and I noticed it then... The flickering light over by an older model pop up camper. “What the hell?” the words came in a quiet gasp because I still hadn’t gotten my breath back completely yet, but curious as to who else might have taken cover in this empty amusement park, I made my way over to the source of light.

This was probably my first -and biggest, mistake. Before I even got halfway across the amusement park, I felt the cold metal of a gun barrel against the back of my skull.

“Where th’ hell you think yer goin, huh? You the reason them damn Walkers are lingerin outside the gate right now?” - that voice.. There was something so familiar about it. Take away the coldness and the anger in the tone and I’d almost swear on my life I’d heard the man currently speaking before. On numerous occasions.

“First of all, lower your fucking weapon.” I tried to stay calm as I said it. The man standing behind me chuckled. “You’re dumb if ya think I’m gon just put down my weapon. How do I know you ain’t with Rick’s group... Or that other sumbitch, Negan?”

And then, it clicked. Shane Walsh. My former childhood crush. My brother’s best friend and former partner at King County PD. ,, it can’t be. he died. Rick told you exactly what happened that night before you got separated...”

“I said... Lower your goddamn gun.” I repeated myself. “If you’d just let me turn around, you fucking idiot, you’d know exactly why I’m not the enemy. Now you on the other hand... You’re supposed to fucking be dead.”

I could hear him shuffle his feet. Clearing his throat. I didn’t have to be looking at him to know that my assessment shocked him. And yeah, parts of me were wondering if he’d put two and two together on his end of it all yet. Given what I remember about Shane, it’s highly doubtful. Man was kind of a meathead like that.

So it shocked me when he muttered in a quiet and shocked tone, “Evie? ‘At you?”

“Lower your gun and let me turn around and you’ll find out, meathead.” I retorted, tapping a heavy sole against the pavement and shivering at the chill in the air. He lowered the gun as I asked and I turned around, coming face to face with him.

Given what my brother told me before I went my seperate way from his little group, I had a lot of understandable concerns. So the first thing I did was to pull out my Bowie knife and hold it at his throat. He swallowed hard, eyeing me in confusion. “What th’ fuck?”

“Well, you’re alive when Rick saw you die with his own two eyes. Carl told me he shot you to make sure you didn’t come back. So... Until I know you’re not going batshit feral on me and attempting to eat my brains, I’m gonna have to keep this right here. You understand, yeah?”

“Evie, put the goddamn knife down. Carl didn’t finish me off, first of all. He tried but he couldn’t. I told ‘im to tell everybody that. Left and went my own way. Been stayin here, “ he swept his arm towards a particularly creepy clown mouth shaped entrance to a nearby funhouse and met my gaze to continue, “Since. Thangs were goin swell. Til you bought the fuckin Walkers right to my gate.”

He rolled his eyes in irritation and I fumed at him angrily. As I considered the story he presented, I held the knife exactly where I’d put it. A smirk formed as he suggested with a smug tone, “What, you want me to strip down and show ya I ain’t one of ‘em? Because darlin, I wouldn’t mind that one bit.”

“Oh I bet you wouldn’t, you colossal ass... But we have bigger problems right now. I wasn’t just running from those undead shitbags outside... I may or may not have pissed off that Negan guy you mentioned. I may or may not have set fire to some shit... Stolen some things. And he may or may not have been chasin me.”

“Woman, what the everlovin fuck?”

“Look. I went there, determined to get my goddamn revenge, okay? He... He killed someone I... I really cared about them. Then all that shit with my brother and his people and Negan.”

Headlights cut through the darkened night and I grumbled. I could hear Negan’s boys whooping and hollering and I gulped, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna lower the knife. But if I even think you’re one of those zombies, Walsh, I swear to God. I’ll kill you in your sleep and I won’t think twice.”

“Fair enough... Guessin this ain’t because you’re feelin generous.”

“No. We’re about to be up to our asses in hillbilly dumb fucks. I can’t take ‘em alone.” I hated admitting I needed his help for anything, it left a sour taste in my mouth. 

And his smug smirk didn’t help at all, either.

“First ‘f all, let’s get to higher ground. There’s a control tower back around where you came crashin over the fence at. If we get higher, we can see ‘em. And all my guns and shit are up top.”

I nodded and I didn’t waste any time, crouching amongst the tents. I passed the battered bumper cars attraction and I froze in place when I heard the shuffle-groan-shuffle heading our way. My heart started to race and my stomach jumped clear into my throat. I couldn’t move, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it was move or get my ass eaten alive. I could hear the trucks getting closer too and that didn’t help. Gunfire was starting to fill the night. This was not a good situation, not by any stretch.

Shane ran up, grabbing me up by my hips, hauling me over his shoulders just as Negan’s vehicle came crashing through the back gate.

“Woman, you brought more trouble than y’ might be worth, y’ know that?”

“Less bitching, Walsh.. More getting us to higher ground.” I muttered as Shane stood me on my own feet and I scrambled up the stairs leading to a control tower. Once we were inside, Shane threw a heavy machine in front of the door and knelt down, loading up his Mossberg.

And outside, the shuffling and groaning got closer. The sounds of revving engines and the sound of bullets echoed through the night.

All I know is I’m not getting a good feeling about tonight, not even slightly.....

[best-science-dad-tony]

Are you all still active? And do you accept oc rp accounts or only canon based ones?

((Oh boy.

So here’s the thing...I’m probably not going to give these blogs quite the attention I did in the beginning, and I should explain why because you all deserve that.

At first, I didn’t think these things would go anywhere. I figured they’d be fun to play around with, banter, get some jokes in and see a few likes, maybe a reblog or two. But then they started gaining traction, and before I knew it, people were invested in my silly little accounts.

I wrote down a quick sketch of a plot and some ground rules for myself, rules that I intended to follow. I essentially wrote a post-Endgame story before Endgame after I saw Infinity War incorporating the elements I wanted to see in the next movie. At the time I was one person. No one was helping me. I knew I wanted to tell a story you all could participate in and enjoy, and to do that I thought it was best if I laid out a groundwork for myself on ways to do that. Things like resolving to answer every Ask, even if it was just to warn the person to stop what they were doing. To adopt every kid (at first that wasn’t on Anon but then I gave in). To give you guys Milestone rewards as thank yous, because even when I just hit fifty subscribers on Tony’s blog, I was ecstatic and appreciated you all so much, and felt like you deserved something so I could show you my gratitude. Unfortunately, before they went up...someone forced me to use one I wasn’t expecting. Literally right after I had made the rule for myself.

I told myself that if anyone found an Infinity Stone, it would be the one Tony had.

The Soul Stone.

I needed the Soul Stone for the plot to work, but I needed Tony to have a safety precaution around it too since Thanos was (is?) still alive. I told myself that if someone found out Tony had the Stone and wasn’t supposed to, he would have a way to protect it. So I had to use the solution I gave him: FRIDAY sending the Stone to an unknown planet with one of the Iron Man suits and promptly wiping her databanks of its location so Thanos or anyone else would be unable to find it. 

So someone found an Infinity Stone...and it was just...gone. Before I’d figured out how Tony would get it back.

My fellow Admins all know this. I can’t begin to tell you how many discussions I’ve had with them trying to write myself out of this hole. Usually, I’m pretty good at getting characters out of seemingly impossible situations...but I haven’t come up with anything that feels believable, that I feel like justifies the plot I have in mind or really respects the characters and who they are.

Normally I would have just gotten rid of the plot point of the Soul Stone being lost completely...but this isn’t an unfinished chapter in my Google Docs. It already happened. I can’t change it.

I don’t know if you guys have read Mercy by Stephen King or watched the movie, but it makes an excellent point that I strongly agree with:

Annie Wilkes : When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.

Paul Sheldon : [nodding]  Cliffhangers.

Annie Wilkes : [shouting]  I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

Paul Sheldon : [long pause]  They always cheated like that in cl... chapter plays.

I don’t want to cheat you all. As arrogant as it might sound, I think I’m a better writer than that. And you all certainly deserve better than that.

When I went to see Endgame (in full Tony Stark cosplay, might I add), I hoped to find inspiration to continue. And let’s just say that ending killed a part of me and I’m still dealing with nightmares and panic attacks over it. My mom asked me if I wanted an Avengers cake for my 22nd birthday and I burst into tears. I just...I can’t handle it right now.

But I recently got my inspiration back for this plot. I remembered how much I loved my ideas, the little timeline I had laid out for myself. I remembered how much fun it was for Tony and Stephen to interact with their kids, for Thor and Loki to talk to Midgardians. I remembered how much fun it was to use obscure ships. And I want to do it. For those reasons, I want to come back to it. I want to see that plot through to the end of the line, whatever that may be.

So I’ve added some elements, and I’ve decided to go in with firmer rules than I had at the beginning, where I would let anyone tell Tony and Stephen “yeah, so...I’ve been stabbed, ‘sup with you guys lol”.

The catch is...it won’t be on these blogs.

It would mean going through everything on them and pretending it didn’t happen, which hardly seems fair, especially when so many people still like and reblog some of my more popular posts. It doesn’t seem fair to just throw all of that away.

Like I said, I don’t want to cheat you, and doing that feels like cheating to me.

So instead I’m starting over. I’m in the process of setting up new blogs, a new Discord server, and I’m working with my Admins to put these new blogs into place.

The other big twist is...I won’t be advertising them here.

I don’t want you all to think I don’t value and appreciate all your kindness and support.

But I don’t want you all to join those new blogs just because I made a joke on Bucky’s account (in this set of blogs) that you liked. I want you to join because you’re invested, because you enjoy the interactions, because you like my writing for what it is and not just because it’s me typing it. It’s the same reason I have a separate AO3 account I never share.

I feel proud when people come to these blogs and see Tony confronting Steve and find out I was writing both of them, not bouncing off a fellow Admin.

I hope I don’t sound ungrateful. I’m swear not. But I want the new blogs to earn their following just like these did. You all saw something in these blogs, whether it was a joke, some advice; something that meant something to you. Maybe you saw family. Maybe you saw a friend. I don’t know. But I sincerely hope that whatever it was, I earned that follow from you. That I earned those likes and reblogs of my own volition.

All I ask of you is if you want to see where these new blogs will go, if you want to follow them, if you find them, please, don’t spoil what will happen for any newcomers who join the ranks. Certain plotpoints will carry over. I want any new fans to be as invested and surprised as you were.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you where the plot moved if you can’t find it and you want to know the big picture. Maybe you’ll just unfollow me or ignore the fact that I’m working on something else.

But I’m not going to just up and abandon these blogs. For a long time, they meant something to me, and at least to some of you. They’ll stay up, and I’ll answer your asks and engage with you. I can’t speak for the other Admins. But with me, you’ll always have someone to message, even if I take forever. But no more nitty-gritty plot. We’ll say Thanos got tired of holding Quill prisoner and fucked off somewhere. These blogs are now just for lighthearted family fun.

This is a long-winded rant to say that yes, I am still active in some ways, and I’m not in others.

As for OC accounts, they have always been welcome, but they don’t get put on the Masterlist or get OC-centric plots. Just be sure to follow certain rules- like Tony having no biological children.

I’m sorry for the rant.

TL;DR: I’m making new blogs to write this plot as I originally intended, but these will stay up and you can message them (at least mine). Also, OCs are cool and always welcome. ~Admin Chara))

[mastcrplanncr-a]

issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.

first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.

Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:

he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.

i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.

In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.

my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?

and my friend was like:

LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.

THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?

anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:

isn’t that what he really wants?

Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.

some nice guilt there, huh, doc?

ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:

LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...

and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .

first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?

it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?

also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.

and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,

which starline does quite pointedly explain.

As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.

also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.

also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?

NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?

i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.

im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!

i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie

also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)

Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.

MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.

is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo

future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.

I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.

first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.

also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.

ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.

gonna go cry about an egg now brb

[softforcal]

hiii

hello! these types of questions are great don’t worry! everyones different but yeah, let me tell you about my writing process :) (this is a long ass writing rant and hopefully it’s helpful)

so for headcanons tbh, i just write them. like. i sit down and write it all in one go and tbh not much thought goes into them there isnt really a plot it’s just notes practically so headcanons for me are not difficult at all. fics/oneshots are where things actually heat up.

so for my fics i do note form outlines. what this means is i have all the major things that have to happen already lined out. i put it on a word doc on half my screen and the fic on the other and there’s no plan on how to get to each note point but i know i have to get there somehow, but having basic goals makes it easier for me.

when it comes to fics there’s usually a brainstorming process. i have two wonderful amazing loves of my absolute life @hereforlukescruff and @glitterprincelu and usually it will start with me saying an idea and we all just kind of start shooting ideas and bouncing off of each other. this process can take hours. like. i remember when i came up with gang luke (penumbra) i was in class and we ended up chatting about it for 3 hours and coming up with shit. when the main brainstorm is done i plot it all out. i have a few ocd tendencies, one of which is linear stuff means a lot to me. like i can’t start a fic at the end. i need to start at the start. so i’ll plan as much as i can but sometimes i stop at the middle and i re-evaluate once i get there and have a better sense as to where the story is going.

for me, characters are huge. like. i have the plot points but characters drive everything else. so i’ll often have a sit down and reevaluate what has happened to them and how they’re feeling and see if it’s all making sense for them, but, because i brainstorm a lot, usually i don’t end up changing much. strong characters are key my dudes. 

my biggest motivator to get to the end of the story is well, the characters. i love them so much and writing for them feels so comforting to me. LOVE YOUR CHARACTERS. but also. something ya’ll gotta understand about me is that i’ve been writing fan fiction for 8 years. i’ve probably spent an average of 2 hours a day (and that’s seriously low balling it) so thats 2x365=730x8=5840 hours that i’ve written and that’s probably too low to be accurate. so i’m a writer. i type fast as fuck and i’ve been doing this a while so writing comes very easy to me, ideas are constantly flowing. this is legit what im pursuing as a job so don’t be discouraged if you can’t write 10k in a day like I do because... well, i’ve had a fuck ton of practice. writing 10k in a day is pretty common for me i’d say, once i sit down with a oneshot i don’t want to leave until it’s done.

but. i also again, have a bit of an ocd thing and when it’s paired with anxiety, it makes it hard for me to stop. i need to get things done. to check stuff off my list. or i get bored. if i leave a fic for even a day or two, it’s likely i’m not gonna finish it. so for me, and i know this, its important to wait until i have a sufficient amount of time to bust something out and a plan makes it so easy because i don’t have to stop and ask myself “okay now what”

what more can i say about writing.... uh... characters. so important. dialogue. key. 

like i’ll start a fic with a general idea about an OC but as the fic continues they grow and i really enjoy watching them grow. i think a good rule of thumb if you’re having troubles with this is immerse the story view point in the most solid character you have (i’ll give an example of this in a moment) and use their perspective and musings on a different character, like what they notice, to promote growth.

example of what i mean when i say this. i recently wrote prince cal and from the start, he was my strong character. Ostara was new, she’s ashton’s sister, she’s back for the first time in a while. the very first paragraph establishes that calum is taken aback by how much she’s changed. there’s still some similarities to how she was growing up and i weave that comfort of the known throughout the story (with things like chicken fights in the pool or musing about how they used to play hide and seek as kids) but from the start, Calum is knocked off his feet by how beautiful she’s gotten and that’s a very obvious symbol of change, not just outside but in. so as the fic continues calum notices things about ostara. for example. the second time i wrote she was wearing a print of some sort, calum and i both mutually realized, ‘huh. she likes prints i guess.’ because ostara is ostara, i dont control her, in my brain she’s her own person, she’s dictating whats happening and baby just likes prints. and calum notices which says something about him, but its also little details like that that bring these characters to life. 

i mean. i don’t know how other people write characters. my characters are always alive to me. they have their own voice and knowing their reaction to things is second nature to me. but this can be attributed to the fact that i legit wrote fan fiction about actual characters (MCU, TVD, Teen Wolf, etc...) for 6 years and being able to step into those characters and do dialogue that seemed legit was the most important thing for me. so i have a FUCK TON of experience on characters. so once again, if its hard for you to step into your characters thats okay. maybe do those things where you have a fill in the blank sheet on whats their fav food, their fav colour, do they like summer or winter? etc....

i think there isnt one way to write. i think i’m blessed that i’ve ALWAYS been a writer. since i was like 4. you know in elementary when they made you write and they’d give you those little booklets and shit? other kids had like one or two at most but this whore was always on book number 6 or 7 like, im a writer. it’s what i am. it always has been what i am. 

im also a multitasker. so most of my writing is done while watching shows. which means its a double whammy for me. like. im learning about characters and plot WHILE writing so... as you can see, i’m hard core as fuck about this shit. 

my point is. my process is a process that i think is pretty particular to me. most people i know cant watch tv and write at the same time. most people don’t sit down and bust out 10k in one sitting. and thats fine. if you enjoy writing then do it. focus on what you can be doing better, this isnt a competition. at the end of the day, the only person you should be trying to be better than is the person you were yesterday, or last week, you know?

find people who are creatively inclined because holy shit it makes a huge difference. bouncing ideas off of supportive people is really important. without my friends, Birdie in Penumbra might be named Cherry, the Gang AU wouldn’t have an ending all planned out and ready to be written, and i would have missed out on so many hours of face time calls and back and fourth messages with two of the most important people in my life right now. 

so lets break down what the fuck i’m even saying

-find supportive people (but it’s important you support them as well. if they’re gonna let you throw ideas at them and help you out and pump you up, reciprocate hoe)

-focus on yourself 

-find what you’re good at. plots? characters? dialogue?

-find ways to strengthen the things you’re not so good at (character fill in sheets, plot planning, etc...)

-find what, at the end of the day, really works for you

-don’t put pressure on yourself. writing is for fun. it should be fun. and if it is fun, i think motivation will come easy? but i could be wrong, once again, i have an addictive personality and writing is a fix i need every day or i go insane. 

yeah. if ya’ll have any more writing questions let me know. i love answering these because i think it’s so interesting to really look at the process :) 

[em-dashes]

8.27.19 - Character Profiles

You know that feeling when you leave your WIP for a long time and when you come back to it it’s like you forgot how to write and everything you manage to type out feels....I don’t know.....bland and uninspired.

Yeah. That’s me right now.

Like mentioned in the last update, I’ve been working on a huge commission for a little more than two weeks now, and that meant I wasn’t able to properly focus on writing. For me, writing is something I have to spend a lot of time mulling over--it’s hard for me to multi-task with it.  I’ve been able to write little bits and bobs here and there, but nothing really substantial yet.

In the meantime, here are some character profiles!

I’ve drawn pictures of my main characters before (if you’re on mobile, just search APHELION in the linked blog), but I’ve been trying to actually write out their descriptions with more detail. I’ve had these in my outlines doc for a quite a while and honestly? It really helps to have written descriptions of them because I keep forgetting which one of Rian’s eyes is green lmao.

Anyway, here goes:

CAY is a seventeen-year-old scavenger who, according to official records, died five years ago. In reality, he was rescued by orphans Jack and Ev, and has since lived with them in secret in Brery, a poorer outskirt town close to the no-go.

He has medium brown skin and short unkempt dark hair, which would be curly if he let it grow out longer than a few inches. His deep-set eyes are light brown, close to the colour of honey, and framed by thick dark lashes. He wears baggy clothes that cover as much skin as possible. He especially likes wearing a fraying grey scarf that Jack gave him, and fingerless gloves. He hunches and holds himself as small as possible, like he’s afraid to be seen.

Significant relationships include Jack and Ev; he is very close with Jack, who he spent a lot of time with while he was recovering, and he often goes on scavenging trips with Ev.

SHELBY TAN--which is not her real name--is a nineteen-year-old scavenger and smuggler. Originally from the planet Bolerre, she was arrested by the Essan government for trespassing on their airspace three years ago, and has since been living illegally on Es, unable to return due to her broken ship.

She has raven hair, cut bluntly at her shoulders and usually kept in a ponytail or hidden under a red wig. She has once-freckled beige skin, now pale and freckle-less from years missing the sun. Her shallow-set eyes are dark brown. She is often very impatient and cranky, unafraid to stand up for herself. She tries to put on a cold, uncaring front, but in truth cares very deeply for those who matter to her.

Significant others include Idan, a homeless orphan, and Arada, her mysterious employer who has promised to fix Shelby’s ship if she smuggles equally mysterious parcels for her.

RIAN SCOTT is a thirteen-year-old boy who is connected to everything in the world, granting him the ability to manipulate and influence objects in the form of telekinesis and telepathy. These abilities are used by the government to gain intelligence and carry out less-sanctioned missions.

He has fair skin, often rendered even paler by his poor health. His hair is auburn, curly and grown past his ears from months without cutting it. His left eye is brown, while is right eye is green, the result of an eye transplant. He is keen on independence and self preservation, willing to leave people behind to save himself, but he is also desperate for genuine friendship and family. He resents his abilities only for the fact they’re so easily weaponized by others despite his own intentions to use them for good, and the negative consequences that always seem to occur no matter what he does.

Significant relationships include Holly, his primary caretaker, and Dr. Emelia Scott, his namesake and the lead scientist studying his abilities.

-

Of these characters, I’ve found Rian to be the hardest to write. I find it really difficult to put myself in his shoes the same way I can with Cay and Shelby--who, despite all the shit they go through, are just regular people. Added to the fact I’ve never been good at writing children, especially one who has been through such unfathomable trauma. Added added to the fact, I feel like the “child having superpowers” archetype has been so done before, and especially now that Stranger Things has come out, it’s a struggle for me to make Rian a more unique character. In my mind, I can tell that Rian is different from, say, Season 1 Eleven, but I really need to work on making that clear on-page. He’s also, for some reason, the hardest to draw. The picture above isn’t even totally accurate to how I picture him. He’s just a difficult character all around :^/

Needless to say, I’m not going to meet my goal of “finish drafting Part 1” by the end of August. In fact, I doubt I can even finish outlining Part 1 by the end of August. I still haven’t figured out a huge gap in the plot where I somehow have to get a character from Location A to Location B without leaps in logic. But luckily, I anticipated this, so I’m not too bummed out. Now I’m aiming for end of September.

Anyway, sorry this update has been so long and text-heavy (and fruitless lol). C’est tout pour le moment mes amis!

-Emily

[johnnyscancerstick]

Chap. 9

Warnings: feels, death, cursing.

Characters: Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and a few random doctors and policemen.

Notes: @watermelon-chapstick , this is what I was talking about. I should let y'all know it takes a lot to make me cry. Teared up while writing this, and I think that means it's good enough to post. Lol, I'm well aware this was meant to be a shitpost, but I don't care. I wanted to write something feelsy and you damn know well I did and tried my best. I might make more of these in the future if people like this. Or, if people want more. I decided to post it on my own, not just a repost. I still put a lot of time into it, and I wanted it on my blog on it's own! This extra note is the only thing that's different — I didn't change anything else.

Word count: 1903

As quickly as it had started, it was over. Had this really happened? Or is it some fucking fever dream because of all the painkillers those hospital people had given me? No, it couldn't be. Dreams can't simulate this kind of stuff, we just beat the Socs!

‘I can't beleive they were gonna do this without me,’ that's not the only reason I wanted to do this, that's not the only reason I threatened to stab a bitch. Multiple. It was the only one I wanted to beleive but I know it's not.

I look down at Ponyboy, who was bleeding like hell and the rest of him looked even worse. He couldn't have been used to fighting solo, clearly. I shook my head, not going to ignore the situation any longer. I could miss my chance if I did that. I bent down and grabbed his collar, turning and yanking him up a bit after I started on a dead run. “Come on!” I couldn't hear myself. “We're goin' to see Johnny.”

Pony wasn't in any shape to be running but I could just remember Johnny's voice. He wanted to see everyone, but I knew there wasn't time. Ponyboy, if he could choose anyone to see it'd be him, wouldn't it? They were such good friends, and he's the one that will cooperate the most. Goddamnit, move faster! “Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left.” don't think about that. “He wants to see you.”

I'd taken Buck's T-bird here and I didn't plan to go any slower than 110 to get back to the hospital. I got into the driver's seat and rhe second Pony was halfway in he car, I got into gear and slammed on the gas. I almost hydroplaned it across a curve and then I heard the sirins. Great, out of all the times. Think of something, Winston, think of something.

I don't even turn to the boy in the passenger's seat, but I find myself slowing down the car. “Look sick.” I say stiffly, furrowing my brows and narrowing my eyes. This could work, I don't have time for a police chase right now. “I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough.”

The policeman said something like ‘Where's the fire.’ I wasn't paying attention. I glanced at him, I cant express how mad I was that he was slowing us down. Johnny only has so long!

“The kid.” I stayed cool, or at least I think I did, pointing at Pony. “He fell over on his motorcycle and I'm takin' him to he hospital.” Pony groaned a little, and I can't tell why.

The guy by the window looked nervous and glory, this was taking too long. “Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?” Oh, hell yeah, this could work. “How would I know if he's bar or not? I ain't no doc.” I fight a smile at how good this worked out. “Yeah, we could use an escort.”

The fuzz are really stupid, these days! “Sucker!” I hiss, he went back to his car. Now we didn't have to worry about traffic, or other cops. I don't know what I was mumbling about that entire ride there, I know I was talking about Johnny.

Once we were at the hospital I slammed the door shut and ‘helped’ Pony out of the car, but the second that police officer left, we were gone down that hallway. I heard yelling but I didn't even acknowlage them, I couldn't think of anything but Johnny, to the point where I let Pony's wrist go and I know he fell far behind. I didn't have time for an elevator, I raced up the stairs and almost clipped a wall a few times.

It felt like an eternity but I finally got to Johnny's room and I was going to break down the door if it wouldn't open. “I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying.” just those words sent horrible aches in my heart and I felt my chest tighten.

No, no, no. This isn't happening, he's not dying, he's not! Johnny can't die, he can't, this can't be happening. I take out Two's switch, whipping my head toward the doctor and jabbing it in his face. I didn't flick it open until I opened my mouth and started talking. “We gotta see him.” I said, my tone scared me even more than I already was, I hadn't heard myself like ths in a long time. I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows. I tried to be intimidating, I'd never had trouble with this before but now I was all trembly and it was visible, I could barely keep my hand still. “We're gonna see him and if you give me any static, you'll end up on your own operatin' table.” I sneer, I tried my best to keep my voice down.

This dude didn't even bat an eye, the little... Oh how I wanted to tell him off, I wanted to tell him just how much I needed to get into that room.

But he took me by surprise. “You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife.” I wasn't going to press, he was letting me in and for once I didn't want to fight. I put the switch back in my pocket and pushed the door open, I ran only for a few seconds before I swore something stopped me. I stumbled forward and made sure I didn't fall, and I could see Pony walk into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Johnny was white and looked still, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and shut them tight, it's not the end! Johnny isn't dead, he's not! He's just.. He's just asleep, he'll wake up any minute now. I took a few steps forward and wiped the sweat off my lips, “Johnnycake..?” my voice was low and hoarse, and I couldn't see even though it opened my eyes. I could barely hear anything else, everything else was shut off and didn't exist at that moment. Nothing was real, this wasn't what was going on. This really can't be happening.

Johnny didn't respond and I had to say something else. I had to prompt him again, this isn't how this ends. “Johnny...” I felt the hope drain from my whole body, but that little bit came up again when he moved. “hey..” his voice, god, that tore through my soul harder than anything else had.

I walked toward him after glancing at the Christopher around my neck, “We won.” I was out of breath and it was hard to get it back, I couldn't comprehend this and I just wanted to get him to say something. “We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory.” I said, I was desperate at this point. Johnny's eyes were barely open and I couldn't tell if he could see the tears welling. I bit my lip as he just gave an unsatisfied hum, “Useless...” he croaked, “Fighting's no good...” he was so white, and I felt panic rising within me again.

No, he's dying and this isn't going to be the last thing I say to him! I gotta tell him something, something that'll make him smile, I've been keeping so much in about him all this time, how hard would it be to tell him now? When I literally have no other chance..!

I licked my lips and tried to find my voice through all the emotion, “They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all.” I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't let it break, I didn't want to cry in front of him. That would make this even worse, that would make him feel awful, that would just be the worst thing I could do right now. “Yeah..” he hadn't responded yet but for the sake of my sanity I had to act as if he did, “They're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers.”

I couldn't say it, I just couldn't, it was too hard, I tried so hard but I couldn't.. Hopefully he'll get he message. “We're all proud of you, buddy...” I managed a smile, I felt hot tears run down my face. I tries to wipe them off, but they'd just look like dweat and I wasn't going to take my eyes off Johnnycakes.

He looked so happy, his eyes lit up. I let out a half sob and kept my composure, I took a deep breath and was about to day something else, but he spoke. “Ponyboy.”

I backed up. I wasn't going to take it away, I'd forgotten Pony was there. I'd forgotten anyone was there. Johnny wanted to talk to Pony, he'd already talked to me, danmit I'm so selfish.

I don't know what he said but as I stepped closer, he just...

I broke into a grin and felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was trembling, I could barely keep myself up, I felt like the world spun around me and for some reason, I wanted to laugh.

I reached a shaky hand over and brushed his bangs off his forehead, “Never could keep that hair back.” I could hear I was under pronouncing any soft sounds and I saw everything blur around me. “That's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk...” reality was setting in and I found it hard to breathe. Johnny wasn't... He.... He was.. He's not.. No. He's fine, Johnny is fine, nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I took a quivering breath, the smile faltering. I tried and I tried to keep it up, I know this wasn't what was going on, I know he's... But no, no I won't believe this. This is NOT what's happening, it's not it's.. It's not... It can't be... Johnny can't be dead, oh he really can't be... “There what you get..” I couldn't get the words out, I whipped toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could.

“Damnit Johnny..” I didn't have the energy, I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. I ground my fist and hit the wall again, grinding my teeth and trying to do anything but think of him.

Don't think of how he used to be

Don't think of what happened

Don't think of what happened to him behind closed doors

Don't think of what he did for those kids

Don't think of him not wanting to die

Don't think of him only being sixteen

Don't think of him never leaving Tulsa

Don't think of him...

“Oh, damnit, Johnny...”

Don't think of those mocha eyes and how they lit up whenever I smiled at him.

“Don't die..”

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he was-

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he is

“Please,”

Don't think of how he would have turned out.

Don't think of how good of a person he would have ended up being.

Don't think of all the things I could have told him

Don't think of all the things thst would have made him happy, thst would have made him smile.

“Don't die...”

[nikatyler]

It’s been like what, three weeks? Yeah. I wasn’t really in the mood for doing this.  Tired, stressed out, sad, lonely...senior year is a blast for sure :D 11/10 would recommend.

Speaking of loneliness...I’ve recently mentioned it a lot but I’ll just say it again. Lately I feel so alone and sort of disconnected from everyone here, I don’t know why. I’ll admit one thing - I guess I’m even kind of jealous, I see all those simblr friendships and then look at myself and wow. I don’t really talk to anyone, do I. A few people from time to time. I mean, I’m a dumbass, so I’m not really surprised but...anyway. Please continue commenting, keep sending your reactions, asks, anything, you’ll make my day. Also, ships. I want to have ships with other people but I’m too afraid to ask. If you want to ship your sim with my sim, you’ll have to take the first step because I’m an anxious dumbass :D

On another (much better) note, I’ve finished working on the first arc of Regan’s storyline. I don’t know when you’ll see it since the queue is so slow (I might speed it up in a month or so), but yeah. I’m there and ooh boy. Stuff is happening. You might hate me for what I did. But maybe not. Just saying. I kinda want to scream about it already.

TL;DR: I’m an anxious dumbass who loves comments and wants to make some friends. The first arc of Regan’s storyline is finished.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

Omg she truly is precious ❤️❤️❤️

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

Wowza she got some good genes!!

aestheicpixels replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

SHE"S GORGEOUS

sparkiemonkey replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

She's so pretty. I can't ever get the ts3 models to look that cute.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL OH MY LORD

melien replied to your photoset “~ Song-Rose, Kayla”

She's adorable!

I was so happy when I posted this because damn, I love her so much. I wish I could give her a story, but that’s impossible because I already have a lot on my plate. Like I always say (well, like I’ve been saying since the quads), never do big generations. I guess I would enjoy seeing her in someone else’s game though. Someone’s heir’s spouse or something. Hmmm. 🤔

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “™¦ T E C H N O ♦ M A G I C ♦”

It looks cool! ❤️

I've actually spent years trying to get which is my favorite fairy only to realize it's always been Bloom�� I can't even say why

And the first 4 seasons definitely were the best - the villains and stories were cooler and stuff and I remember how thrilled I was to watch the fairies' Entchantix (was it called so? ) transformation for the first time

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “™¦ T E C H N O ♦ M A G I C ♦”

a winx club ref??? on my dash???

I used to be all over this show as a kid

I think we only ever got like the first two or three seasons cause they stopped showing it after a while.

amixofpixels replied to your photo “™¦ T E C H N O ♦ M A G I C ♦”

Flora was always my favourite growing up. Feelings are more neutral nowadays.

melien replied to your photo “™¦ T E C H N O ♦ M A G I C ♦”

High five, she was my favourite too ✋

create-a-sim replied to your photo “™¦ T E C H N O ♦ M A G I C ♦”

I loved it too, though my parents didn't have the channel that it aired on and I only could watch it at my friend's house :(

Guys you have no idea how much I love these reactions because when I was growing up, people made fun of me for loving this show. I was scared it would backfire here as well. And it didn’t, yay! :D

I used to love Bloom when I was little. Then in middle school, Tecna became my favourite. I could somehow relate to her, I don’t know. She was kinda different and weird, I’m kinda weird too, I felt like they often overlook and ignore her, same here, she was into computers, I was into computers, etc. I even wanted to have her original haircut because I loved her so much :D You know, the one from season 1-4, the one so similar to that Fitness SP hair (which I used here).

As for seasons, my favourite was definitely season 4, I looooved the idea of Earth fairies, not to mention the villains were so cool too. Same with Valtor in season 3. Damn. I’m not thirsty for cartoon villains, I swear. But like if they were real people, they’d look so good. After season 4, things went super downhill, but I was still watching it because I had hope it could get better again. Nope. It didn’t. Still, it can’t take the good memories of the first four seasons away.

Man, I could ramble about this forever :D

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “To make everything even better, Lydia broke the bathtub. AGAIN.”

she looks so proud of herself too haha

Her only goal in life is to cause chaos and break things

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Aurora: “So I obviously love Kayla with all my heart, she’s my niece...”

SIBLINGS! LOL

I know, right? :D 

I love working on sibling relationships in my legacies so much. In fact, often times they’re even more fun than working on romantic relationships with their spouses :D

myopiccc replied to your post “I’ve already talked about this on twitter but I’m just gonna mention...”

Sending you love and HUUUGE hug. One sentence you're writing makes me laugh and cry. I don;t think those strong writing flows all the time. Please don't mind. Take rest and have a big bite of chocolate:D(if you do like chocolate). <3

*hugs* :’)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Valentine’s Day?”

Gorgeous little thing<333

Daaaamn I know *-* I didn’t think this hair could suit her so well, but it did and wow I’m in love

cafeheart replied to your post “post nsb”

damn anon go write your own nsb if youre that thirsty

dandylion240 replied to your post “post nsb”

I enjoy whatever you want to share with us ��

108sims replied to your post “post nsb”

Wow that’s kind of rude. I enjoy all your challenges!

moonbobs replied to your post “post nsb”

Post what you want! This is a hobby not a job. I can't with these types of asks smh��

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I got a few more asks about this but I didn’t post them because I’d reply the same thing. I just DON’T KNOW when the save is coming back, stop asking, anons! It’ll happen at some point. But yeah, I kinda saw it coming, because I’ve posted ts4 for so long, it was fun, gen 6 right now isn’t very fun. I mean it. I’m not happy with the beginning of it, but I know it’ll get better.

Thank you guys for your words. I think this is important for every simblr out there: Post whatever you want. It’s your blog, your game. People might like something more, but in the end you have the final decision. If you want to switch to ts3 because you love ts3, go for it! Maybe some people will leave but eh. Whatever. You don’t need people like that anyway, right?

froggypixel replied to your photoset “Hey Doc…you okay there?”

When your owner leaves you��

This made me sad because his owners actually left him. Forever. They died. 😭 And somehow this dog is immortal or something, idk. It’s kinda wild. But don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t want him to die.

[negasonicimagines]

(You kissed her.)

Hi folks! I am so, so sorry for not posting, like, at all, ever! I am trying really hard, I need to stop procrastinating and get on you guys’ requests! I’m bad at keeping track of which rqs are anon and which aren’t, so, if you wanna be tagged in your fulfilled rq, please include to tag @[user] because I copy the rqs into a doc! (this is also useful if you wanna be tagged but not as your main blog!) anyways, I wanted to mix up the writing style a little, sorry if it’s obnoxious!

request: “Can u write something like,Idk,the reader is texting Ellie and asks her to make a makeup tutorial for youtube and she actually films it?And she's all flustered and embarassed interacting with the camera?Sorry if this is too vague”

I tweaked this significantly, I’m so sorry, I just really struggled with doing it justice, especially due to the vagueness of it. But, I did appreciate the request and if you’d like to submit it with a few extra details I would love to write you a new piece! 

Additionally, this is my 30th NTW x reader imagine! Not my 30th published, but I keep my docs numbered and this is number 30! So, go us! 

So sorry for the long A/N! Please enjoy! 

(Text names are what you guys have each other saved as in your contacts!)

Ellie lost touch with most of her friends at home when she moved to Xavier’s.

(Most.)

There was one left, and if you’ve ever read one of these fics before, you know it’s you. Her best friend who she definitely doesn’t have a crush on.

Y/N ♡: Ellie!

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : What.

Y/N ♡: Your make-up looked really cute on the news today!

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : Thanks. Your point?

Y/N ♡: I was wondering if you would film a tutorial…? Please?

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : You don’t need a tutorial, you do makeup just fine. I saw your Snapchat story

Y/N ♡: Yeah, but I don’t do it how you do yours! I wanna learn THAT….

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : Tough.

Y/N ♡: :-(

Ellie rolls her eyes before leaving you on read. She’s so lucky you can’t see her face when you shamelessly compliment her like that. She gets so damn red, it’s embarassing. Whatever. She plugs her phone in and goes to sleep pretty quickly, not even dreaming.

The next morning, though, when she’s bored, she decides to create the video.

(Like it was a decision, when you were the one asking.)

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : Fine, I’ll make it. Can’t say I never did anything for you

Y/N ♡: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

҉  ♥Ellie♥  ҉  : Whatever lol weirdo. Don’t text back I don’t want the phone to vibrate during

She suction cups her phone to her mirror, as she typically does so she can watch Netflix and do her makeup at the same time, but instead of that black and red app, she goes to the camera and begins recording.

“Hello, everyone. Or, just, y’know, Y/N. This is how I do my makeup. I start out with a primer, because I’m not completely stupid, then I go in with my foundation. Yes, it really is this pale ass emo shade. Then I blend it with a beauty blender, yeah, even I haven’t avoided that trend. And then this gray eyeshadow. And then the eyeliner, duh. And then mascara. Lipstick optional, but I’m wearing it tod- Oh! Oh my god!” She covers her mouth.

(Shocked.)

“Hey!” you tell her, stepping through the door. “Oh good, you’re actually recording. I wanted a video of us BFFs reuniting!” You wiggle your fingers towards her, and she rolls her eyes. You were the fun one, she was the grouchy one.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” She remembers the situation.

“I’m not allowed to visit?!” you ask in reply.

“It’s kind of a long drive!” She argues, gesturing with her hands a little, and you shrug.

“Well, yeah, but when you’re moving somewhere it’s a good idea to visit first.”

“What?!” Ellie asks. “You’re a-!?”

(You nod.)

“What kind?! I mean, what do you do?!”

The people who overhear as they pass swear she’s never been this loud before, always responding briefly and nearly muttering her words.

You offer her a packet of sunflower seed snacks. She looks at you, confused.

“Take one,” you tell her. She’s always resisting.

(It’s cute.)

“What’s this got to do with anything?” the jaded girl inquires skeptically.

“Just do it, doofus!”

She takes one from the pack, and goes to crack it.

“No, hold it in your palm.”

“Y/N, you’re acting weirder than these jackasses think I am.”

“Watch!”

You close your eyes, focusing on the seed in her hand. She watches as a small green stem cracks the shell open, roots sprawling out as the stem grows thicker and darker, growing taller until the sunflower bursts open.

“Oh. My. God. Seriously?”

You crack open an eye nervously, smiling with the same tone. “Yeah. And…” You control the roots, causing them to make themselves into legs with feet at the ends. You make the sunflower dance, waving its leaves like arms.

(She just watches.)

Ellie usually didn’t speak as a choice, but in this instance she genuinely didn’t have anything to say.

(Until she realized that yes, she did.)

“Um, Y/N… Well, uh… Can you make the sunflower stop dancing?”

(No, that wasn’t it.)

“Oh, yeah, uh, here.” You hand her the gift bag she hadn’t noticed you’d been holding, and she peeks inside. It’s a bag of soil, as well as a black flower pot and plate set with silver skulls spray-painted on. “For the sunflower.”

“Nice,” Ellie comments, placing the plate and the pot in the correct position, on her desk in front of the window.. You dump some of the soil in the pot, and make the sunflower sit cross-legged, more roots expanding outwards to stake in the dirt before you add more. You take a water bottle from your purse and wet the earth inside with what’s left.

“Well, uh, I’ve gotta tour the campus. Kitty’s showing me around.”

“No,” Ellie immediately disagrees, jealousy rushing through her veins like it’s racing against her blood.

“Did I remember her name wrong?” You ask, confused.

“No, just- I’ll show you around. Tell her not to worry about it.”

You peek your head out the door and shrug, but then you nod.

Damn it, Kitty had been out there waiting for Y/N & listening the whole time? How embarrassing… Ellie thinks.

“Alright, let’s get the tour started, huh?”

The two of you go to exit, before Ellie realizes she’s (uncharacteristically) forgotten her phone! She stops the recording and locks it, sticking it in her back pocket.

You follow her around, listening to her explain the classes you’d likely take and what clubs there were in an exhausted tone.

“Is it really that bad here? Maybe I shouldn’t come…” you tease.

“No!” she nearly shouts,and you look at her with a mildly surprised expression. “Uh, it really doesn’t suck or anything, I’m just… You know… Like that.”

“I was kidding, Ellie, and besides. The papers are all in order. I don’t have anywhere else to go, anyway, my parents… Well, you know how that story usually goes.”

Ellie nods. “I’m really sorry. They seemed better than that.”

“It’s okay. Now I get to be roomies with… Well…”

Ellie’s eyes widen. “Me?”

“Yeah! You’re one of the few students who doesn’t have a roomie yet, so when they told me I could pick, I chose you!”

She tries not to blush.

(It doesn’t work.)

“Oh, jeez, El, you’re really red. You’d think with all that working out as an X-Woman, you wouldn’t get so winded after walking around a bit,” you joke, at least about the working out part. You’ve got no clue why she’s so flushed. “Are you okay? You’re not getting sick or anything, are you?”

“Sick of you,” Ellie remarks, though she doesn’t mean it. The only thing that makes her sick is her own cowardice. She couldn’t even ask you out over text, and now you’re going to be seeing her in person? She’s never going to admit her feelings, is she? She’ll die miserable and alone, just like she is now. 

(And people wonder why she lashes out.)

You giggle nervously, eyeing her expression. Most of the time you knew she wasn’t being serious, or, at least, not being honest, but you did worry sometimes. “Alright… Suppose I’ll have to find Kitty to give me the rest of the tour…” You turn around teasingly, waiting for her to stop you as you slowly walk away.

(She doesn’t.)

It hurts your feelings signifcantly. You don’t turn around, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hide it. You begin walking at a normal pace.

“Hey, wait!” she protests, and you return. “Listen, I’m sorry I’m kind of a dick. I try not to be a dick to you, but it doesn’t always work out, because I really like you.”

“Um… Isn’t that supposed to be… Not like that?” You laugh nervously, a bit concerned for her mental health and your own safety.

“I just mean that- Well- I don’t like being nice to people! It makes me feel weak! And I don’t want to be weak in front of someone I like!”

“Like… Like-like…?” You ask nervously, trying not to sound too hopeful.

(It doesn’t work.)

“Yeah,” she admits dejectedly, your hope most likely being obscurred by the metaphorical dark clouds that always surround her. Most of the time, people saw them as anger. You understand, though.

(They’re shields.)

“Hey. Did you miss my tone completely or something? It was hopeful.”

“Hopeful that I wouldn’t? Sorry to disappoint you, prince- Mmf!”

(You kissed her.)