#yeah i'm sure the cheese is unintended

[000yul]

the way the chapter 14 boss mechanics go, you aren't supposed to be able to overcome the cocoon mechanic without making another operator sacrifice themselves in place of the cocooned operator. fitting, for a character that herself forces a dilemma of "one of us has to fall here—we can't both survive" at the chapter's climax. you have to choose; who gets to live and who gets to die?

that said it's pretty funny that you can cheese your way around the mechanic by retreating your operators just before they get cocooned. it's like it's saying there's always a third way. adding an illegal new empty track to the trolley problem

[nb-octopus-writes]

once you’re in the hive, the other bees assume you’re supposed to be there

[Masterpost]

Chapter 3: A Series of Unintended Events

Wordcount: 1.3K

~~~~

The pancakes are delicious, light and fluffy. Virgil only has two, because he did already have cereal and unlike Remus his stomach is not a bottomless pit into which he can pour an unending stream of nutrients. But they're delicious, and he's glad Calico convinced him to try a bit.

After breakfast, Virgil helps with the dishes because Remus still isn't up yet, and neither is Janus—probably still curled around him like a hot water bottle—and he has nothing better to do.

Princey meanders in after him, and despite having just demolished an entire stack of pancakes and a decent amount of scrambled eggs, starts rooting around in the fridge. He emerges with a plastic-wrapped plate of tiny pumpkin pies and leans against the counter to eat them directly off the platter, clearly pleased that the party having ended means he can have the leftovers.

“So you're the reason the chinese buffet has a twenty plate limit,” Virgil teases after Princey eats several in a row without pausing. Virgil had a few of those tiny pies last night, so he knows they're good, but Princey is absolutely chowing down on them.

“Hey, that was not my fault!” Princey protests. “Besides, a place that calls itself ‘all you can eat’ shouldn't even have a limit.”

“It shouldn’t,” Virgil agrees. “But I've never hit the limit myself, so I thought it was reasonably high. I suppose that a buffet operating in the same town as twin black holes would need to be cautious to protect their profit margins though. How much did you two pack away before they asked you to stop?”

“Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy,” Princey says. “Anyway, it really wasn't us.”

“No?”

Princey sighs. “No, Count Woe-laf,” he says. He is just too much fun to tease. “If my father is to be believed, it was actually him and a couple of his college buddies.”

Virgil laughs. “Oh, so it's definitely genetic, then!”

Princey chuckles, popping the last tiny pie into his mouth and setting the plate on the counter. Virgil takes it and rinses it off so he can put it in the dishwasher with the others. “Yeah. Dad says they absolutely cleared out the seafood section, and most of the mac and cheese, and ate a sizable portion of pretty much everything else. If you get him going, he'll give you a very long and probably quite embellished retelling of the many courses they had. They never got kicked out, but the next time they went, they were told that there was now a limit to just how much they could eat.”

“Ah, alas,” Virgil says. “I bet it was a fabulous feast, though.” He finishes loading the dishwasher and checks under the sink for soap. They have pods, which is very convenient for measuring, or rather for not having to do that. He pops one in and turns the machine on.

“So, if I'm Count Olaf antagonizing you, which Baudelaire does that make you?” he asks. “Not bookish Klaus, surely. Maybe Sunny? I think she could demolish a plate as quickly as you, though her small stomach wouldn't have the same capacity.”

Princey's eyes light up and he leans forward. Instead of answering the banter, he says meaningfully, “I have the full series on dvd.”

“I'm not doing anything right now,” Virgil says. Princey beams.

“Great! I'll make popcorn!”

~

They have a dedicated home theater. The tv is large, the seats are comfortable, and the speakers are crisp and clear without being too loud. Princey made a bucket of popcorn for each of them, and Virgil isn't very hungry right now considering he very recently had breakfast, but he munches idly on it as they watch, and comment, and theorize. Princey is fun to watch tv with, and doesn't mind Virgil talking while they watch.

They're in the middle of an episode when Remus appears in the doorway.

“Hey Emo,” says Remus. “I gotta get home and feed my cat before she figures out how to unlock the front door and hunts me down. I was gonna take you home on the way, but it looks like you're in the middle of something.”

Virgil considers. He looks at the screen, where Lemony Snicket is explaining that if you're allergic to something, it's generally best not to put that thing in your mouth, especially if the thing you are allergic to is a cat. He looks back at Remus. “You swear you'll come back for me?”

“On my favorite dildo and Janus's two cocks,” Remus says with feeling, and Virgil can't help the chuckle that escapes him.

“I'll be okay,” he says. “Go get Diesel Fuel her lunch.”

Remus salutes him and disappears.

They finish the episode and Remus hasn't come back yet, so they go on to the next one. During the theme song though, Nerdbot appears to inform them that they too need to eat lunch.

Virgil thought Princey might protest, given how invested he's been, but he pauses the show and gets up. “C’mon, Tall Dark and Stormy,” he says to Virgil. “If we skip lunch to watch tv all day we get a lecture about why proper nutrition is important.”

“You do,” Nerdbot confirms. “Points of note include the necessity of proteins and vegetables in addition to carbohydrates.”

“Is popcorn a vegetable?” Virgil asks.

Nerdbot raises an eyebrow. “It is a carbohydrate, actually. It is also primarily air.”

It seems that all the other guests have gone home, so it's just the four of them now. The table is back to its smaller size, and Princey has Virgil sit at the corner beside him, so they can keep talking. Nerdbot sits on Virgil’s other side, and Calico sits at the head, across from Princey.

Lunch is baked chicken and a vegetable dish that Virgil doesn't really expect to like, but he takes a polite spoonful anyway because he's sure Nerdbot is capable of a very powerful ‘eat your vegetables’ lecture, and he doesn't feel like hearing it right now.

The vegetables do not taste bad. Virgil’s not sure why he's surprised anymore considering everything he's eaten in this house so far—with the possible exception of the cereal, which doesn't count—but the vegetables are the opposite of bad.

“Why are you such a good cook,” Virgil says to Calico, who brightens. “I need to come eat your food more often.”

“He has a magical tongue,” Princey says, making heart eyes across the table at him.

Calico blushes slightly (not nearly as deeply as he had last night) and clarifies, “I'm very good at tasting, and I have a lot of practice combining flavors. I'm also not afraid of fats and salt, and that helps.”

Virgil has two servings.

Remus still isn't back yet when they finish lunch, and Virgil is starting to get concerned.

Don't forget me, he texts, and goes into the room with the couches to wait.

This couch really is comfortable. And Virgil got barely any sleep last night, between staying up late and waking up so fucking early, and also probably never actually falling into a deep sleep at all since there were other people in the room. And his stomach is full and warm. And the couch is so comfortable. 

He barely has time to notice how heavy his eyelids are becoming.

~

Virgil wakes, briefly. The room is dark. Someone has covered him with a blanket. He finds his phone and checks it. There's a message from Remus, about half an hour after Virgil’s last text.

came to get you but you were very asleep, it says. text me when youre awake and wanna go home

Attached is a selfie, with Virgil in the background passed out on the couch.

Virgil groans. fucker, he texts back, and falls back asleep.

~~~~

Chapter 4: The Second Morning

[historynerdj2]

Reblogging this so that I have this when I finally get to chapter 14… for experimental reasons

the way the chapter 14 boss mechanics go, you aren't supposed to be able to overcome the cocoon mechanic without making another operator sacrifice themselves in place of the cocooned operator. fitting, for a character that herself forces a dilemma of "one of us has to fall here—we can't both survive" at the chapter's climax. you have to choose; who gets to live and who gets to die?

that said it's pretty funny that you can cheese your way around the mechanic by retreating your operators just before they get cocooned. it's like it's saying there's always a third way. adding an illegal new empty track to the trolley problem

[trilies]

#yeah i'm sure the cheese is unintended #but i like to think it alludes to rhodes island finding a new path in the future of the story somehow. #in an author-is-dead kind of interpretation

the way the chapter 14 boss mechanics go, you aren't supposed to be able to overcome the cocoon mechanic without making another operator sacrifice themselves in place of the cocooned operator. fitting, for a character that herself forces a dilemma of "one of us has to fall here—we can't both survive" at the chapter's climax. you have to choose; who gets to live and who gets to die?

that said it's pretty funny that you can cheese your way around the mechanic by retreating your operators just before they get cocooned. it's like it's saying there's always a third way. adding an illegal new empty track to the trolley problem