#yeah I've been dealing with personal stuff and also modding on a account with my sibling so :p

[plushkasa]

Sorry for being dead but good news I finally got that 90th AP

[where-the-water-flows]

If you know how to do it you can use someone’s phone number to find their full legal name and home address. It’s just a bit of Google and knowing what websites stores this kind of info. Saw your tags asking how a phone number could verify someone’s age

So, I appreciate you dropping into my askbox to pass that info on - genuinely, it's kind of you - and I can see how my tags came across, but what I actually meant wasn't 'how can you find info on someone just with their phone number??' -- I actually do exactly that kind of thing in my day job pretty regularly, and I have to conform to a lot of real strict ethic constraints that uh, bluntly, random discord moderators...do not.

What I was actually getting at is the fact that, assuming the hypothetical server is just using a phone number as age verification (and doing data broker/google search on that), how in the hell is it controlling for someone doing what people under the arbitrary age limit du jour have been doing since we started implementing this sort of check, ie, lying like rugs and supplying info for someone in their family/social circle instead who is older than [whatever age].

like. sure. maybe you get a phone number for age verification. awesome. plug that into your data broker/google/etc of choice, run your searches, and ok, it belongs to jane smith, 38 years old, accountant who lives in ballarat, she's totally fine to join the 18+ server! come on in jane, the smut is plentiful and the doves are extremely dead. Jane smith has a kid. jane smith's kid is 15. jane smith's kid isn't allowed in the server, because it's an 18+ only server.

jane smith's kid almost certainly knows their mum's mobile number.

how the hell can Hypothetical Server Mod control for 15 year old jane smith's kid putting in jane smith's mobile number instead of their own? and also, separately, how the hell is HSM dealing with the many -- many many many -- different privacy laws around the globe?

not just in terms of handling that sort of information on people (and also requesting it in the first place!), but also just. some countries you can get so much fucking info on someone! (the US. I'm talking about the US.)

some you can't. because privacy laws, because the info isn't publicly accessible, because it's not online and is only in hard copy at the local government office, because it's collated but only in a nonenglish language, because it's geolocked-- etc.

also, like. even if the hypothetical phone number brings up someone in the US, and also your hypothetical mod team has decided, y'know, fuck privacy laws, security of information and data ethics can take a long walk off a short pier, we're keeping this server 18+ or dying trying!

data brokers aren't...actually consistently what you would call...super accurate, or like, accurate at all. if you have a unique name, yeah, sure, you're probably kinda fucked! (assuming you're in, again, somewhere the data brokers focus) but like. if you're named something a little more common - say, james smith, or maria sanchez in the US- uh. well. there sure are a lot of people you could be, and some of them - most of them! - are over 18.

and ok, sure, a phone number is (usually) only associated with one person, but. you can get a lot of false positives, false negatives, and straight up 'we don't know 🤪', the latter of which is sometimes hidden by the databrokers going 'our best guess is that this person is: An Age!! somewhere between 0 and 200 years old. 😇'

again, I use this stuff for work, I can tell you exactly how inaccurate it can get as soon as you throw something like 'not based in the US/UK' or 'uses a nickname/multiple name formats' or 'isn't super online' or 'older than 65 and not turbo wealthy' at some of these - I've had more than one confidently tell me that [my wallet name] is an accountant based in darwin who makes horror films in alice springs on the side, and also, is 26, and had 2-3 kids with her husband Lauchlan.

literally none of these facts are true. like. even vaguely.

and that can of worms doesn't even get into if someone has requested to be removed from data broker databases and/or takes online privacy Very Seriously and/or is just fundamentally ungoogleable, which is...more common than you'd think. less common than you'd like, but more common than you think, even before google started enshittifying itself out of existence.

which is why when you're trying to do things like prove your identity to uhhh goverments, banks, etc, they want multiple forms of ID, one of which is usually a photo ID, none of which anyone should be sending to a random on discord, or, frankly, asking for from a random on discord, both bc my god privacy and security risk but also like. handling that information can actually have legal requirements!

anyway. extremely long ramble on the failings of databrokers over, I appreciate you reaching out to help explain and it was very kind of you anon, sorry that I have. uhhhh kind of a lot of professional feelings about data privacy and basic social engineering, by which I mean saying 'no I'm totally 18 pinkie swear' in the grand tradition of teens wanting to get into age locked areas ever, your forebears lied on LJ so you could lie on discord.

[chaos-in-elysium]

People can claim I'm entitled and cuildish but if roles were reversed, they would want an explanation and evidence to. You can't make accusations against a person then proceed to never let that person in on what's going on, it doesn't work like that.

"He said to not blast music and you threw a fit" did he also mention that 1 I started turning my volume down after he mentioned it and 2 it was because he instead of leaving the call isti n silence. I was watching tiktoks even after I turned my volume down he would complain that I'm not paying attention to him.

I'm childish? But the person who accused me brought up stuff from 2 years ago. The sexual abuse claim makes very little sense to me, if he doesn't make it obvious that he is uncomfortable or did not want the interaction how was I suppose to know? He never gave any slightest hint he was uncomfortable,he never stated it either, in fact he consistently gave enthusiastic consent.

"If him crossing your boundaries bothered you why didn't you block him?" Cause he was my fp (favorite person) at the time I would have let him treat me anyway he wanted if that meant I wouldn't be abandoned. Also ask him the same question when it comes to the sexual abuse claim.

"Get therapy" I honestly don't have the money nor does my insurance cover it, also as someone who says they have bpd you would know how utterly difficult it is to find a therapist willing to work with a pwbpd(person with bpd) due to the stigma.

And even without the bpd the fact I told him more then once to please refrain from doing certain things that upset me, he should have stopped, because that's not ok no matter who you are.

And I'm kinda entitled to evidence that deals with claims made against me. And that deal with any screenshots from private dms.

Also I blurred his name his pfp from what I can tell is portal fanart it has no signifying markers to who he is, I even gave him an alias.

On the topic of things I said. I said something that seemed to bring down the mood in the server- 1 time. "TlYou should have gotten a warning then" Yeah I should have. That's kinda proving my point on people not doing their job.

When it comes to the Andy thing that was honestly meant to be a joke,and only a joke, if he had told me he was uncomfortable with it, or with that type of joke I would have stopped.

Based of how you reacted to the incident I stated where we kicked someone for faking osdd (Which was agreed upon by orb) that gives me the feeling that you are the person we kicked. If you aren't my bad that's just the way you came across. But if you are know that even Orb saw through you and said you were faking I still have the screenshots.

I don't block people because I "Know they're right" I block people because simply don't have the energy to deal with their harassment, they made a whole account just to slander me and try to silence me.

I only ever wanted answers and to defend myself. There was no harm in letting me see the evidence,there was no harm in letting me try to prove my innocence, you all could have still chosen to not believe me, chosen to ignore me,chosen to block me. Yet that didn't happen instead of taking the high road and letting me prove my innocence, then move on you all chose to slander,harrass,and attempt to silence me. It shows that somewhere deep down there is insecurity and part of you knows that the mods have some blame in this.

I admit that I don't always handle things the way I should, I'm prone to over explaining,not letting things go,and jumping to extremes when threatened. It's something I have always struggled with, that however doesn't mean that I am malicious,lying,ot manipulating anything. I'm showing my end of the story.

The reason I never came forward sooner is because due to a lot of what I've been through it takes me a while to realize the way someone treated me wasn't ok, and me and him at that point had calm down,started to be friendly,and left each other alone. I didn't see the point in bringing it up especially since I knew with the stigma surrounding bpd, that no one would believe me.

I am prone to anger especially back when "elm" and I met, I had just found out a year prior that I had bpd and had been struggling to work on it since I couldn't and still can't afford therapy. I had told him from the start about it and explained what I knew about the disorder,I even told him about the stigma surrounding it and hour abusers tend to target pwbpd and turn them into the abusers. He used this against me continued to push and push. I was splitting so much that I felt like I couldn't breath. That every move I made had to be dictated by him. This isn't me using it as an excuse this is me showing how it effects me. When I told him that his actions were causing splits, he honestly should have stopped. He would always claim "Oh I'll do better." But never did at some point I gre bitter and thought "Why should I have to change but not him? Why should I work on myself but not him? Why does he pin everything on me? Why?why?why?" Then we mostly cut contact and what do you know I was no longer splitting 2,3,4 times a week. Finally I could breath. Then this happened, I don't know why he would start all this up, I can't pretend to know. It has been 2 years yet in a time of peace and silence he throws a rock into the pond and attempts to ruin what calm I had finally built. He knew I wouldn't go quietly,he knew I would cause a fuss. I played into his hand out of my own instinct to protect myself. I was a idiot, I still am and Idiot.

At this point I want silence and I want peace. Believe me to be the villain,believe that I'm a horrible abuser. Feed into his lies. I don't care anymore, I'm going to continue with my life and work on healing from all the damage he caused. I'm going to enjoy doing stupid shit with my closest friends,friends who don't push,who know I'm not a malicious person. Friend who care for me deeply. I'm going to live and exist in my own space, and you all can continue stabbing and howling in the distance to anyone who will listen, but I won't hear you. Live your lives,enjoy your friends,and be happy.

[awigglycultist]

what happened to the unfuckable blog??

So sorry this took me long, I was at school, but here:

First, the og post that started it all

Basically mod Rhys was called out for making NFTs by an old mod (Felix)

Here's a post of an anon explaining that posted to the unfuckable blog explaining

And another person explaining the situation

After Rhys was called out some mods defended him, including Sunny who told an anon that they must of dreamt up Rhys making NFTs, although its possible that Sunny just didn't know that Rhys did make NFTs, then they left the blog. Then someone said that he abused ppl and he was basically like "oh yeah I did lol" and didn't take it seriously at all. He then took a break and got off the blog. In comes Ruby, now, the second post says that mod Temp and anons accused Ruby of ableism when really she is autistic and was just asking for ppl to us tone tags, this isn't true, not my eyes at least. The best way to explain what happened I think is just show screenshots, so here (click to actually see lol):

Anyways, after this several other mods get on, ethier trying to calm down the situation, or just trying to go back normal. One of these mods is a mod going under a new account and calling themselves mod temp bc they want to say stuff but no under their name. A couple mods leave. Anons tell them to deal with this privately, the mods say they can't bc Ruby won't talk to them. Rhys gets back on and tells Ruby to leave so he can delete the blog, Ruby says they'll when everyone else (except Rhys so they can delete) leaves, at the same time Rhys says that he doesn't care anymore and that the other mods can fight it out and he leaves. The mods start to leave. Temp says their waiting on one more mod that hasn't been active to leave. Temp then says they aren't leaving until Ruby does. Jack says they can't leave bc they're on mobile and cant get to their computer for a while. Currently I believe Ruby and Temp are in stand off basically to see who leaves first. It's been HOURS, I'm too lazy to check how many rn, but I think like around 10-12 hrs since Rhys first told Ruby to leave so the blog could be deleted. Also this might not all be 100% correct, particularly the stuff that happened first bc I never saw that when it happened and several posts were deleted, but I've been watching the drama not too long after Ruby started stirring up trouble so it's fairly accurate.

Also, here's an archive blog to check out if you wanna, especially after the blog get deleted (well if it gets deleted that is really)

[kingjasnah]

Blasian anon again. I think you missed my point but I also think that's because I didn't explain myself properly. Redzit and Shart I think are a lost cause (except that the mods of shart are actually pretty chill from the interactions I've had) but on here, things aren't great either. Tumblr artists see the whitewashing and over-correct, erasing the biracial aspect of a lot of characters. I'll keep using Shallan as an example bc we're the closest ethnicity wise, but so many artists straight up ignore she's supposed to look biracial. Inspo boards might only take her mixed race into account when it comes to her hair, but ignore that she might have a Japanese nose and white people lips (either in shape or color or both). And this is maybe kind of minor, but using Korean faces as her blueprint maybe isn't great. I don't know a lot of Koreans who would be happy with people thinking they are interchangeable with Japanese (because the history between us is not great). We do look similar, but we're also different.

Not enough tumblr artists are looking at biracial japanese faces when they're crafting their Shallan. And her biracial aspect can't be erased when plucking her from Roshar and putting her in modern Earth aus. She would deal with intense racism and othering. Some hyper sexualization and infantization, people here ignore all of that when taking her into account. And in doing so, contribute to this "pick an ethnicity" bs that a lot of us biracial people deal with all the time. But I think people here are more open to taking that criticism and changing than on other platforms.

As for Sanderson, I'm actually working on a letter to send to him outlining how important it is to double down on the fact that most of roshar isn't white. I've found more private interactions regarding race are more productive, so this isn't something I'd be posting on one of the other popular sites. But like, it would be nice if with the WoR leatherbound, we got an improved Kaladin cover and Shallan endpapers that better reflect her mixed race appearance. Pairing that with something in the acknowledgements about why it was important to correct this, that could go a long way, since not all the fans who purchase that merch are super active on the forums. But if anyone has suggestions of points to include in this letter I'm working on, I'd love to see them.

......okay i see what you are saying. so i absolutely agree with you that when using references for shallan people should look to biracial models but I think it's difficult to declare overcorrectness in fanart cause of how varied those models actually look. i also think im kinda out of my lane here? so grain of salt I guess if anyone who is mixed wants to weigh in on this

i will say that there's a bit of a thing with shallan (and renarin) where people have pointed out their epicanthic folds are respected but they're not for a lot of darker skinned characters who also are supposed to have them...and for renarin I think a lot of that has to do with the east asian infantilization you mentioned. with shallan I feel like this is the case because shallan not being white has been very present on tumblr for years to the point where people are more likely to call out a whitewashed shallan than anyone else.

now ive not seen any modern aus talk about real life racism at all but then again: i don't read fic and i do agree writing a modern shallan shouldn't erase her race

i think a letter is a smart idea though. he is relatively receptive to crit imo and he's So online here definitely seen some of this stuff but.....yeah it's not super fun posting crit that's about both something personal and something systematic on a public forum when you know it's gonna get blasted. id kill for a proper kaladin wor cover