#yeah 'hate the system hate the gods hate restrainment' is a ref to 'hate the a.m hate the p.m hate labels' hobie brown IS percy jackson dwi!

[punkeropercyjackson]

What's so funny about 'Dark Percy' is that Canon Percy is way more of a rebel than in his supposed 'betrayal aus'.Percy DOES hate the system,he hates the gods,he hates restrainment,and by keeping away from godly bussiness as much as he can,he's directly going against them yet he also can't help but want to help everyone no matter what,no matter the cost and that's also going against the gods' will,because no god would ever be as selfless as him instead of giving in to their 'instincts' like they're dogs rather than adult men with full capability to break the cycles of abuse they started and continue and Percy did more for their world when he used to be a mere child than they did as millenia old beings.So by writing Percy as taking a darker path,you're defanging him.'Powerful Percy'?An actual nepotism baby unlike canon.'God/Titan Percy'?Sellout authority figure.'Percy x Luke/Gods'?Ah yes,nothing as sticking it to society as a young adult dating men too old for them who're also frequently toxic to the point of abuse towards them,which as we all know is not considered normal and ideal at all.Turning one of the most authentically nonconformist and canonically anarchistic protagonist's of the 2000s into a normiemaxxer so you can do fake deep stories and arts with him that're weirdly fetishistic towards greek people because you're too much of a pussy to write him into a revolutionary both in the wider known meaning and as in using his sea powers to do enviormentalism isn't very punk,especially when you don't even get his aesthetics right lmaoooooo

[adzandiel-blog]

Fine, We Were Responsible for the Straight Pride Parade

*Originally titled "the time we thought straight people couldn’t get any dumber, made a bet, and then watched as they hit rock bottom and kept digging"

This is mainly directed at you Straight Pride Parade bastards. I read an article today, showed it to Aden, and we decided that yeah, we should probably fess up in a minor way.

You know that feeling sometimes when you trip or fall in your dream, and wake up with a jolt, feeling like you just fell a long way?‌ Yeah, I need to take credit for that idea. Not that I go around each night in the metaphysical dream realm and throw people off cliffs just for the kicks1, but that whole jolting you awake at 3 AM thing? That was totally my business pitch.

Anyway, that doesn’t relate in any way to this post.‌ Just keep in mind that we (both angels and demons alike) have the ability to just dip into others’ dreams and extend a little Heavenly or infernal influence.

This is a relatively recent event compared to all the other stories we’ve got, but we figured it’s a fun story to tell.

A few months ago, Aden and I‌ saw a gay couple being kicked out of a coffee shop, with the manager proclaiming loudly that ‘this is a Christian establishment’2 3 and that said couple should never return. And I’m the demon and all, yes, but then, I had to almost physically restrain Aden from rushing at the homophobic dick and giving him a shiner.

We left right alongside the couple in protest, bought them a meal at another diner4, and I‌ personally made sure that when the manager went home that night, he’d find that his walls were much thinner than he remembered, and that the couples living next to him, below him, and above him suddenly had much more energy for their libidos.

So when we went home that night, we were suitably tipsy, which is a context that often leads to entertainingly tangent-y discussions. It started with Aden drunkenly flipping through the Bible, finding Leviticus 18:22, and cursing when he finds the translation wrong.5

See, the thing is, the English translation of the Hebrew Bible is just slightly off. America paid for it, back in the day, and we’re not entirely sure what the Hell happened6 with the translation, but it came out different and gave millions of people the wrong impression.

In the Hebrew, Greek, German, Swedish, Norwegian, and undoubtedly countless many other translations of the Bible, the quote “Man shall not lie with man as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination” is instead (correctly) translated into “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination”.7

See the difference?

It’s all a great big bloody misunderstanding, is what it is. The Bible condemns pederasty.

So we began thinking. If millions—billions, really—of desperate Christians will believe and live by a wrong translation, how much stupider can they get?

We made a bet.

Aden’s money was on straight people already hitting rock bottom. Mine was on the belief that straight people—and people, in general—have, in fact, already hit rock bottom, but that it wouldn’t stop them from descending further.8 In fact, I‌ said, I can hear the pick-axe sales skyrocketing already.

And we had to prove that one of us was right, didn’t we?

So our million-dollar idea was this: If we could get someone to celebrate heterosexuality with pride, in the sense of June being Pride Month9 and rainbows being flags of proud defiance against oppression and all, then I‌ would win the bet. If our targets refused to do something so blatantly disrespectful, then Aden would win.

You can probably guess who won.10

That night and the rest of the nights in the week, Aden and I would occasionally infiltrate and pop up in random dreams of heterosexual Christians (and/or other religions/lack thereof) and we tried our best to influence them into thinking that they, as straight people, deserve to be celebrated and proud of their sexuality.11

We didn’t expect it to, you know, work.12

And the thing is, you know, this isn’t even a new thing!‌ I went ahead and researched straight pride parades, and apparently, it’s been around since the late 1900’s, which is ridiculous. Humanity’s been around for… as long as we have, which is give-or-take five millennium, and they still sit around with the ability to pull this kind of utter bullshit.

How incredibly stupid is that?

I don’t remember their names (the guys behind the parade in Boston), but just in case they’re reading this:‌ Hi. Right big idiotic bastards, the lot of you. So idiotic, really, it’s almost hilarious. And besides that, you have an incredibly stupid website with an equally ridiculous domain name.

And one last thing:‌ Advocating to put an ‘S’ in ‘LGBTQ’?‌

God, Satan, and every being in between, I don’t even know where to start with that one.

It’sGreatToBeStraight…InOurCoreBeliefsOfRespectingTheLGBTQ+Community. God bless, Satan strengthen, Amen, and all that.

Until next time, folks. Don't make us write our next post with righteous anger again.

Or… kick people off cliffs just for the throws? ↩︎

Which, by the way, is an utterly stupid thing to say in response to kicking gay couples out of your establishment. Fuck you if you do that. God never said shit about disliking gay couples, She only talked about disliking pedophiles. And Her son just disliked figs. We would know. Aden met him once. In a stroke of demonic genius, I introduced him to apples. He liked them. ↩︎

The waiter who was serving the couple looked downright mortified and embarrassed about his superior’s behavior. Aden managed to convince him—afterwards, in a subtle manner—to resign, and he made sure of the fact that the ex-waiter (he couldn’t have been more than 18 in age) found a nice job with decent pay. ↩︎

The diner in mention had friendly people running the place and excellent food. The couple was grateful, and insisted on buying us drinks. Right now, the four of us are engaged in a loop of buying each other food and drinks. It’s fun, really. ↩︎

Aden wants me to mention that he never curses. That’s wrong, because I‌ can quote him, word for word, on that night—“Zan, Zan, would yo—look at this. Look at this bullshit—’Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination’—they really thought that was—God, ‘m not drunk enough for this shit”—and many other nights as well. Don’t give me that look, angel. ↩︎

Although Hell definitely might’ve happened. My kind aren’t inherently homophobic or anything, but it wouldn’t have been unthinkable for a demon to think it funny for a large amount of people to hate homosexuals. I’m not that guy. Abaddon definitely would’ve approved the idea, though. Whichever bastard it was probably got a commendation for it. ↩︎

This is because, back in those days, they encouraged a system in which boys (with ages ranging from 8-12) were able to be ‘coupled’ by older men. There’s even Ancient Greek documents that show us how their parents used this bullshit to help their sons’ social status. Needless to say, there was a lot of demonic curses going around in Ancient Greek. I used up my quota then and had to call Abaddon for an extension. ↩︎

The commonly known phrase ‘The descent into Hell is easy’ drowns out a long-forgotten alternate; "facilius descensus fatuitas", which more or less translates to ‘Easier is the descent into foolishness’. ↩︎

My idea. Aden helped. ↩︎

Three things to do as I‌ wished on Aden’s part. Still got two to go. Details not privy. ↩︎

It took Aden a lot of convincing on my part for him to actually do something that wasn’t purely good and angelic in nature, but it worked. Mainly because we were bored, and we don’t have much to lose if our automatically-generated reports to our respective Head Offices don’t shine a good light on us. Besides, we made them forget their dreams, but retain the influence. ↩︎

I‌ mean, I‌ did, but… I‌ didn’t. You know? ↩︎