#yea. letter written in paper! I'm a granny after all WHO SAID THAT

[kafkaoftherubble]

@pieadvisor

Are you asking, "Lyndis, what the hell is this?"

Are you wondering, "Lyndis, what the hell is this?"

Are you thinking, "Lyndis, is this dangerous?"

Well—

You must play This Track first before unlocking Read More for The Lore.

MERRY BIRTHDAY, π !!!

Happy Christmas!!!

Hee hee! In Chinese, what I did up there would have qualified as an instance of 献丑. It means "embarrassing yourself willingly." You'll have to pardon me; not only am I no writer, I'm also no singer!

So why did I do this when a simple Happy Birthday will do, you ask?

Because, just like my rambling, I'm extra as fuck Well, I had used this exact birthday audio only once before you, and that was for my Best Friend.

She did her own version of Happy Birthday one year, which was quite the show-off of her because she has a mellifluous voice and quite the gift for music. Meanwhile, Lyndis over here is _____ (fill in the blank yourself hhahahahah).

However! (oh, where is the BGM) Determined to uphold the principle of Equivalent Exchange, I cobbled my own version of the song as a return gift. I was supposed to make it sound, ya know, 1940s-ish. I adore music from that era (I know, I know. I'm not washing away my Granny Allegation now, aren't I?), so I tried to fashion it after that era.

Yea, underline-bold-italic "tried." You are welcome to decide how, er, "successful" I did.

I thought using it only once for one person was a waste. So, I decided to use it again.

How did I create this mustardpeas, you ask?

Well, it's not through sophisticated sound engineering or incredibly useful apps, that's for sure. Nor was it through intricate singing techniques, though every sound in there was me.

The method was actually as primitive as having two recording devices. I sang one part of the song while recording it on Constantine, the phone. Then I played it back while singing a new layer over it while recording it on Zelda, the tablet. Then I played that back and sang another layer while recording with Constantine, the phone, again.

I think there were 4 layers in this in total. If you hear a 5th layer, please write a painstaking observation report for me including the kind of voice, what they are saying, et al. A ghost eluding me? Smartass.

Obviously, the earliest layer would become rather degraded as you kept re-re-re-record it—scratchy, just like them old records. So it was still part of my keikaku!

No, seriously. It's a tad bit of effort, right?

Well, yesn't. Because, again, it was originally done for Best Friend. So technically, I didn't have to make any extra effort other than what I already did last time. I guess this letter is the aforementioned effort, though. Since I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning after I finished my work for the week!

But I suppose I would like someone to be happy on their birthday?

Sometimes, a bit of upsetting things could happen on your day, and because it's your day, it could wear you down a bit more than usual through the fault of dopamine crash (heightened due to expectations).

So I thought, in case that happened, I hope my 1940s-inspired (apparently) Birthday Song By My Mediocre Singing Ass could bring a wee bit of cheer through sheer surprise or something like that. Salvage some of that dopamine, you know? I can only do this trick once!

And should the case not happen, and you had a great day every step of the way today, then it would still be nice to have this lil' shit be one of the reasons your birthday's a good one, innit?

I see this as a win no matter what way the day goes. Gee, I'm truly a brilliant schemer! I accounted for everything!

So yea. Happy birthday! I sure hope it's a rising trajectory from here on out. I mean, 'course, it ain't gonna be swell all the time. Life's a bitch. A fucking bitch ass motherfucker sometimes, even. What I mean is that if you pull it out of the moment and plot it on a cartesian plane, I hope your graph is ultimately going upward.

See ya around! Merry Christmas on your way out!

——Yours Truly, Lyndis

P.S. You may also wonder why this is a post instead of an Ask. That's because I've been away from Atom, the Laptop, for these few days. I only signed into Tumblr through this laptop (to avoid mindless scrolling instead of reading and studying shits that can actually satisfy my Brain's hunger, which can happen if I signed in through more convenient devices like Zelda the tablet). I need to schedule this for the day itself, right? This is also why, should you send me letters or replies in this window of time, I have offered zero feedback. But again, I'm likely ghost-reading your blog every now and then... now that's me returning to my roots, heh.