#yea ok ill post it here WHATEVER

[mayortrolyphic]

(((((MAP PART FOR KIRBEE TEEHEE ,,,, THE BROO,, THE WHOLE THING TURNED OUT SUPER GOOD IF YOU HAVNT SEEN IT CHECK IT OUT !!!!!!! ))))) i want to strangle that middle scene i forgot to color everything AND AHH ,,, I WISH I COULD,,,,, SKDHDHDBHXHSJS,, the shading is badass though yes or no, i also ,, im gonna revise the desi- SORRY UH,, CHECK THIS OUT!!!

ITS 12 AM SO LAST DAY OF SCHOOL RAAAHH,, i atill, yea i ,, !!!!! Davetrap draws all these posts btw but hes on the run ir whatever im just posting for him thank you,, !!! MUGWUMP WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DRAW THEM- NO WAY,,, I drew them as cannon oh my lord ,, i honestly forgot,, guys im sorry its be a fatass sexond since i played dshaft ahh!! My art is slowly driffiting away like from the steven universe,,, song yes ,,

i have been gone,,, mingling with the dsaf instagram fandom,, those guys r freaky as hell ily lex, wicko, ace, and mj,,, if u see any of them give em a big ol sloppy,, wet ,,, high five for me, especially wicko ahh 🤤❤️❤️❤️

And also sadly i cannot post freaky davesport on ig so ,,, ill ,,, ill probobly start posting on here again!!! ,,, and i migth go back to dialtowm,, or uh spice it up a bit,, GWAHHA… (also whoever said i whitewashed dave and jack/lh AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭,, i ,, i had to take a second,, not qhat i was going for,, it,, it.oh my phone lord ,,, i was trying to make a stage,, light,, it was the divide blend,,

SOBBING,, IT,, WONT HAPPEN TAKE THESE REGULAR ANIMATIONS PLEAAS

OK ILL SHUT UP,,, thank you that is all 💀

[ungodlysaltyinfrastructure]

Hey… so uh… Alux witnessing his mother die in front of him, anyone?

Aha. So um. I inexplicably went missing on tumblr...

Why? I tried deleting an experimental side blog I didn't need/want, and because I don't know how tumblr works, I had actually deleted my main account (Note to self, never venture off into the account settings, WITHOUT CHECKING WHICH BLOG IM ON) I was devastated about it, but, it may have been a good thing for me, question mark? I had been embroiled in toxic queer discourse (aphobia sucks), and it took a toll on my mental well-being. So I took this unfortunate deletion of my work as a sign to relax a bit, despite the pit of panic that formed when this happened. Luckily, I'm better! (again >_>) and I still love Alux Rising, so here I am, making my grand return! back at it again with more way too long character analysis!

I would've posted about my abrupt leaving of tumblr sooner as I was eager to explain everything, but then AR 14 dropped soooooooooooo

Okay. Ar 14. Just made me incredibly happy. A major thing that had been missing for me was actual depictions of Alux as a child. He goes on about how his childhood was rough, but we never actually got to see such. Only the aftermath of such childhood with his relationship to Elric.

Now that we've seen it,

Oh God. It explains, a lot. I always thought Alux acted weird, so much so that I started to theorize that he was *actually* autistic/ASD (More Asperger's Syndrome but that term is no longer used)

But now…

I still hold firm in my Autistic Aro Alux Headcanon, but now his “lack of character” makes more sense to me.

It's made out that Alux's lack of character was prominent in his childhood, as his mother says that one day, he'll learn to like whatever he likes, and he'll be his own person, inferring that he doesn't understand that yet as a child. That's really intriguing to me. Apparently, his blandness was apparent in his childhood, and now in his adulthood. And it seems that the only thing he fully knows how to do, is to help people. If this lack of uniqueness to his character was in his childhood, then maybe the fact that Alux is bland is a defining character trait for him. One that will be overridden by this developing story of Alux rising. (Aha! Character development!)

Now, in relation to Alux and his parents.

It seems like he followed his mom more than his dad. That's why he brings her up in his and Elric's argument, and why he says “I like what you like!” and “I want to be just like you” To her in the memory.

And upon further rewatching, my heart just broke.

In the memory, Alux's mom says “But remember to be the best version of yourself, and to treat others how you want to be treated.”

How does Alux treat others currently? *He constantly helps them. protecting them, making sure they're OK.*

*sigh*...

Ok.

I'm really glad that we got this flash back. It actually helps put some character into Alux (even if it being trauma) and his lack of reaction to a lot of things makes much more sense. Even after the whole flashback, his lack of talking about the memory for why he had such a strong reaction feels very realistic considering the circumstances.

Another thing I realized, when Alux snaps out of it, the surrounding magic of green crystals is the orchids. I'm crying.

It most definitely seems like witnessing his mother's death stunted Alux's mental development to a degree, mostly in the sense that he doesn't fully know who he is, what he wants, or what he likes with what seemed to be his only supporting figure in his life now gone. If he still had his mother, maybe he would've turned out differently. (Wow shocker, I know.)

And honestly, we all knew Alux was traumatized, but I did not expect it to be to THIS extent. I just thought his mom died of an illness, and he wasn't there to see it but she was gone.

I was. SO WRONG.

Dead wrong. One could say.

Like Alux's mom- *cough*

anyways- yea Alux's nickname should definitely be Horny, Professor Red- oops, sorry *GEARS* comes up with the best nicknames, in fact he should become president and deliver every presidential speech in his rhyming scheme.

Oh and James is not dead,

Apparently.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

i DEFINITELY want more Frat Boy Sukuna!!! 😍😍😍😍

Oh man, you're twisting my arm so hard here nonnie, what ever will I do?

I guess I'm just going to have to post some headcanons and frame work I have for the up coming part 2 (Of which you can get on the tag list for it: here!) Oh! And if you want a refresher, you can find Seven Minuets in Heaven Here!

Now Presenting...

Some supplemental reading if you will ;)

Ok, lets start with just some basic information on our boy

Hes in the Alpha Beta Omega frat, or the ABO frat. The entire Frat is very quick to point out they’ve been around longer than ABO when you bring it up, minus Ryomen. 

He just tells you he’s an Alpha and asks if you’re trying to be his Omega. It normally gets whatever reaction he wants

He’s majoring in business against his will (Remember this: It will come up) with a minor in he’s really about: History

If taking over his fathers very lucrative business (Again: This will come back up later) fails, he wants to be a history teacher.

He often bonds with Nanami over hating their shared major and being annoyed with Gojo and Geto making out in the most inconvenient places.

He sells drugs on the side to supplement his income, but nothing harder than weed because “Weeds not even a drug when you think about it.”

Is known for being the biggest manslut in the manslut frat. But hey, at least he gets tested regularly. 

Ok, so now I want to start with a little bit of his background because it informs a lot about how I characterize him.

He’s Yuji’s older brother by about 4 years. Both of them look almost exactly like their father. The man really said Ctrl C, Ctrl V, Ctrl V. 

Their father left when they were 7 and 3 respectively. Yuji doesn’t remember, but Ryomen very clearly remembers how horrible their father was to their mother. To him, it was a relief when that asshole finally abandoned the family for good.

The family moved in with their Grandpa, who was one of the very old school “I will only tell my kids I love them on my death bed” types. He also died when the boys were only 13 and 9.

Meaning our boy never really had a good role model for how to perform masculinity, and now that he’s an adult he finds himself pretending to be the type of man media told him he was supposed to be. Somewhere between Tyler Durden and Joey Tribbiani. He doesn’t think he’s very good at this performance. 

The moment he turned 16, he started getting piercings to try and look less like his dad. The moment he turned 18 he got his tattoos to really separate himself from his father. Yuji thinks it’s insane, but Ryomen thinks it’s worth it to be able to look in the mirror without wanting to punch it.

His father reached out to him his senior year of high school. He offered to pay for 100% of Sukuna’s college tuition, as long as he majored in business and took over the “family” company once he graduated.

Yea, turns out dear old dads new wife couldn’t conceive, and his smoking had finally caught up with him in the form of lung cancer. Faced with an inevitable death, he was desperate for an heir. 

Ryomen may have despised his father with everything in his being, but he realized how stupid it would be to throw away not only a free education, but also a guaranteed career. So he agreed.

OKAY now that that’s outta the way, let’s get into how he is in a relationship 😈

You are his first real relationship. He’s had “relationships” that lasted officially about 2 weeks at the longest. He’s had a plethora of situationships where he’d make promises he had no intention to keep. But as far as actually, serious, relationships you’re number one. 

And genuinely this new emotion kinda scares the shit out of him. The first time he got love pangs he thought he was having a panic attack, the first time you brushed him off he felt like he shattered. this shit sucks yo, no wonder the Greeks thought it was a mental illness.

He has no idea how to properly love someone, he’s winging this shit: Doing everything entirely based on vibes

In his past “relationships” the moment conflict arose, he would leave. He doesn’t want to do that to you though, so head it is.

I’m not joking, the moment you have an issue he’s taking you to bed to try and distract you. And he’s always shocked when you still want to, ya know, communicate about issues you’re having after the fact. And he’s always even more shocked when you don’t just leave the moment conflict arises. 

Did I mention he has no real concept of how healthy relationships work?

He’s trying though. He’s trying harder to make this work than he’s trying to keep his grades up. 

Often catches himself flirting with other girls without even realizing it, it’s just second nature to him. He’ll always disengage the moment he realizes

Oh he’s jealous. Oh he’s so jealous. He sees you just talking to another guy and he’s spiraling in his head. He’s immediately getting involved and planting hickies on your neck right in front of whoever you’re talking to, because you’re his god damn it.

As such he loves to buy you jewelry. His dad’s got fuck you money, and he plans to spend it all on you. His current favorite thing to see you wear it a dainty, golden chain, with a ruby encrustedfrat b R hanging from it. It looked gorgeous on you, and marked you as undeniably his. 

Suguru has 1000% had to talk him out of getting a tattoo of your name, this man is down so unbelievably bad. He’s never really been in love before, and now that he’s feeling it he’s overwhelmed by it.

This man really thought he was above getting pussy drunk until he hooked up with you. Now he realizes he’s is Not. At. All immune to it, and is actually quite prone to it!

Ultimately, his goal is to marry you after graduation, even though his fraternity brothers are highly against it. Not because they don’t like you, quite the contrary, they love you! But they all know that marrying your first love probably isn’t the move, and that the two of you have a lot of problems to work through. They want him to at least wait a few years before popping the question.

Still, every once in awhile he catches himself looking at rings and day dreaming about the future.

[spnexploration]

Pack chapter 22

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Madison

Series summary: Omega!Reader is thrown into a world she's not expecting when her mate turns out to be a hunter, and she's not used to Alpha & Omega Pack dynamics.

Chapter summary: The morning after your night alone.

Chapter warnings: reader self-conscious including about her body, but nothing particularly detailed

Word count: 2.6k (long one!)

A/N: I forgot to add the last chapter to the masterlist when I posted it, which I have now done. Sorry about that! Make sure you read it first.

This fulfils the nesting square of my 2023 SPN AU bingo.

Series masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

Part 21 <- -> Part 23

“Good morning Y/N, how’d you sleep?” Sam asked as I trudged into the kitchen.

I just groaned in response.

He chuckled, “You really are perfect for Dean. There's fresh coffee if you'd like some.” I nodded and he fetched me a cup.

I was halfway through before I thought of sharing my news. “Dean messaged me when he got to Claire, at like 3am.”

“Yeah, he messaged me too. He said he's going to work the case with her today, then decide if they stay for tomorrow. I think he realises she'll rebel even more if he dismisses her work.”

I nodded, focused back on my coffee.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked when I was feeling more awake.

“That’s up to you. We can do some more lore if you'd like, you can spend the day reading or watching TV, or you can put yourself in Madison's hands and let her go crazy keeping you entertained.”

I laughed. “Maybe we can do some lore and then I'll see if I'm up for Madi entertainment.”

“Good choice. Grab some breakfast and then meet me in the library. I'll fill Mads in when she's out of the shower.”

---

Sam had me try reading some lore myself and try to make sense of it, all related to the topics we'd covered yesterday. I didn't realise how complicated killing monsters was!

After a while I was feeling tired and run down, so I headed off to Dean's room for a nap. It was probably just the poor sleep I’d had last night without Dean around. I snuggled into his pillow and fell asleep instantly.

---

I woke later. I was not feeling better. I felt so cold, but I was drenched in sweat. My joints ached, it was hard to move them at all.

It took a lot of effort, but I made it to the door finally. I was going to call out for Sam and Madi, hope that they had medication for whatever illness must've struck me down.

I opened the door but felt out of breath with the effort of crossing the room. I had to get my breath back before I could call out.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footsteps.

“Y/N?” Sam called, sounding worried. “We're coming.”

How did he know I needed him?

He rounded the corner a few seconds later, Madison hot on his heels.

“I think I'm sick,” I wheezed out.

“Omega, you're in heat,” he said gently. “I smelt it as soon as you opened the door.”

“But this feels- I've never felt like I was dying before!” I started to fall as I used up all my energy complaining. Sam quickly caught me and carried me back to Dean's bed. Now that he said it, I could feel slick gathering between my legs, but given how much sweat I was covered in, I hadn't really noticed before.

His phone started ringing. It said 'Claire Novak’ on the caller ID.

He answered and put it on speaker, “Hey Claire.”

“Sam! Dean just went into a rut and he is fucking mental! What the hell do I do?!”

I thanked my lucky stars that my body had settled on Dean, that our cycles had aligned. But now I just had to get to him, to be claimed. I shivered. What if my heat finished before I got to him?

“First, tell him Y/N is in heat,” Sam said to Claire. “It will reassure him some.”

“Sam says Y/N is in heat,” she said slightly muffled, like she'd turned the phone away. “He's growling, hang on.”

There were some strange noises and then Dean’s voice, much lower than normal, “Omega?”

“I'm here Alpha,” I managed.

“You... ok?” he sounded like speaking was hard for him.

“Yeah, I'll be ok.” I didn't want to tell him how unwell I felt.

Sam gave me a knowing look and said, “Alpha, can you put Claire back on? I'm going to work with her to get you two together.” Dean growled slightly throughout, but the sounds of the phone passing happened again.

“Sam?” Claire asked. “He didn't say anything, he just gave me the phone back.”

“Ok,” Sam continued, “The next thing you do is that you submit to him. If you start challenging him when he is in an unfilled rut, away from the Omega he is yet to claim, he is going to go feral. I recommend calling him 'Alpha’ and barring your neck if he gets antsy.”

“Great,” she deadpanned. The teenage sass was practically dripping.

“And then you get him back here, as fast as you can.”

“What about the case?” she asked petulantly.

“Claire, I promise, we will help you on this case. But this is literally the second time he has gone into a rut after finding his mate, their mating has already been threatened by factors outside their control. They cannot miss this opportunity. Plus I’ve got an Omega here who’s about to go through the worst heat of her life, she needs him.”

I gulped at Sam’s words.

“Ok, I get it. Sorry. I’ll get him back.”

“Thanks Claire.”

“Bye.”

Sam hung up and turned to me. “It's gonna be a while before they can get here, so we need to get you comfortable.”

“What- what if he doesn’t?”

“That's not going to happen. You've only just gone into heat, and even your normal heat probably lasts longer than one day?” I nodded. “This one is likely to be longer, and worse. Dean got to Claire in about half a day. There is plenty of time, Omega.”

I sniffled and he stroked my hair gently.

“How about we get you some painkillers and a cool bath or shower to try and drop this fever a bit, and then Madi can stay with you. I don't think you're going to want to be around another Alpha too much, but I'll help with the cooling down because I don't think you can hold yourself up right now. Does that sound ok?”

I nodded, too tired and achey to reply.

“I'm going to take off some of your clothes, ok?” I half-heartedly nodded. “Omega, I need your words. I'm not going to do anything you don't consent to.”

“Yes,” I mumbled.

“Ok, thank you.” He started to pull Dean's flannel off me and I whined. “I know, I know, we’ll get back to Dean’s scent as soon as we can. Now, bath or shower?”

I shrugged. He kept gently removing my clothes until I was in just my underwear. I wished he was Dean. Partway through Madi had brought me painkillers and water, but I didn't feel any better yet. Everything ached and every so often I shivered, although Sam assured me I was actually hot.

“I'm going to carry you to the bathroom, ok?” I nodded and he lifted me up bridal style. I leant my head on his shoulder and, whilst he smelled reassuringly like Pack, I just wanted Dean. I started to cry.

“I know, I know,” he murmured reassuringly. “We’re gonna get Dean back as fast as we can, ok? And you're gonna feel a bit better soon. You're gonna be ok.”

He made it to the bathroom where Madi was standing next to the full bath. “Ready?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I mumbled.

He went to his knees and lowered me into the water. It felt strange at first and I clung to Sam's neck, but after a few moments it felt better and I let go of him.

“Now, ordinarily we'd leave you alone, but I don't think you're well enough for that right now.”

I nodded. I felt too weak to do much more, which was probably Sam's point.

Madi wet a face washer and put it on my forehead. I lay back and closed my eyes. I was starting to feel a little bit better. My joints weren't aching quite as much.

I relaxed.

“Hey, hey,” Sam said, tapping my face. I didn't know how much time had passed. “No falling asleep in the bath.” I blearily opened my eyes and tried to glare at him. He chuckled, “I'm not about to let you drown in our own house.”

I started to get uncomfortable, trying to find a way to position myself. And the water was starting to feel cold. Sam must've noticed my fidgeting as he said, “How about we get you out?” I nodded. “You wanna try standing up?” I nodded again and he reached in, lifting me out and gently placing me on my feet on the mat. Madi wrapped me in a towel.

I was still too sore to do much other than whimper as Madi dried me off. It was like having the worst case of flu ever.

Slick flooded out of me into my wet undies and down my legs. I saw Sam's nostrils flare as he smelled it, and he swallowed thickly.

“Are- are you ok?” I asked him, suddenly worried that he might be unable to control his reactions.

“Yes, sorry I scared you. I'm not going to hurt you. The scent of Omega in heat is just a bit, uh, overwhelming to Alpha senses. But it's fine,” he said with a reassuring smile.

I felt like I knew what he meant. His Alpha smell was starting to get overpowering. I scrunched my nose up a little as I smelled him and he chuckled.

“I think you're entering the horny phase of heat,” Madi observed wryly. “Let's get you back to your room and we can kick Sam out before you start scratching him for getting too close to you.” Sam laughed.

“Huh?”

“I might have clawed Dean when he came into the kitchen and surprised me when I was in heat one time,” she said with a smirk. “He was literally just walking past but I, uh, reacted with claws before my brain engaged. Anyway, enough about me, I think you're dry enough.”

“Are you ok if I pick you up again?” Sam asked me.

I was still feeling weak and shaky, so I nodded. He lifted me into his arms and my skin started to crawl. I didn't like Sam touching me, he was wrong, wrong!

“It's ok, I'm going to put you down and leave in just a sec,” he murmured. I was holding myself tense, probably having my facial expressions tell the story of my discomfort.

I suddenly realised I was starting to growl.

I couldn't stop.

He placed me on Dean's bed and hastily backed away. I grabbed Dean's flannel and rubbed it over my face, utterly enthralled with its scent.

“Message me if you need anything,” he said to Madi. “I'll keep you in the loop if I hear anything from Claire or Dean.”

He left. I stopped growling.

“Alright, let's get you out of those wet things,” Madi said.

I tried to reach behind me to unclasp my bra, but my arms were too weak to undo it. I started to cry, scared and annoyed about what was happening to me.

Madi sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my back. “I promise, it'll get better. I think you're feeling rubbish right now partly because of your massive fever, and partly because you're away from your mate. When Dean gets here, I promise it will get better.”

“Omega biology sucks.”

“Oh, so much! Ruts look way easier to get through than the shit we have to put up with.”

“Was it like this for you? I didn't expect to feel this much like I’d been hit by a truck.”

“No, I had Sam with me. So whilst I felt bad when it started, we pretty quickly got to dealing with it. And it sucks you don't have Dean, but he is on his way. You just gotta hang in there for a bit longer.”

I sniffled. More slick flooded out of me, for no apparent reason, and I felt weirdly like my skin was missing something. I started to fidget, trying to work out what I was feeling.

“Ok, ok, before you get all antsy, let's get you in fresh clothes.” I’d almost forgotten my bra and undies were wet from the bath, so distracted by the various painful and strange sensations from my body. I let Madi help me out of them and into a pair of summer pyjamas.

I grabbed Dean's flannel again, rubbing it over me. Then I smelled his pillow, bringing that to me too. I tried to wrap them around me, whining when it wouldn't work.

“You ever built a nest before, Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“I think you’re trying to nest. Hang on,” she pulled out her phone and tapped away at it.

 I couldn't focus on what she was doing, I was too busy trying to work out what to do with Dean's things. I'd positioned myself over his side of the bed, throwing back the covers so I could smell it better. I kept moving his pillow and his flannel around, but it just wouldn't do what I wanted. I was starting to shiver again, and Madison held her hand to my forehead.

“Fuck,” she muttered, “you're burning up again.”

A few moments later there was a knock at the door and Sam pushed a laundry basket of clothes in. I growled at him. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't help it. He quickly shut the door.

I finally smelt the clothes, now that Sam's wrongness had gone. Dean!! I reached out weakly to the basket and Madi picked it up and brought it to me.

“I asked Sam to get all of the clothes out of the hamper that were yours or Dean's and smelled like Dean. I thought you might like to use them in your nest.”

I purred at her and set about arranging the clothes. I don't think I've ever purred in my life.

I had to admit, now that I was putting things where they felt most right, I was clearly making a nest on the bed. I was surrounding myself in Dean's scent, picking up each item and carefully deciding where exactly to put it.

Once it was done, I tried to position myself in it. It wasn't big enough. It wasn't quite right. I wanted Dean!! I whined.

My skin was feeling strange again. I tried to scratch it to make myself feel better. But it wasn't quite itchy? It was something else. I rubbed it. Yes, that was better. But it still wasn't right.

I moved my hands around on my body. It felt a bit better. But not enough. Now I was getting frustrated that it wasn't feeling better enough.

I whined again.

“Where are your toys?” Madi asked me.

“What toys?”

“Sex toys. Can't you tell you’re getting super horny?”

Oh. Maybe that's why my skin felt weird. And why it didn't feel like the right touching. It didn't feel like normal arousal, and I’d been so distracted by everything else, I hadn't even recognised it.

I moved my hands lower. I slipped my fingers under the waistband of my shorts and approached my clit. Fuck it was sensitive right now!

I tried to get Dean's scent. I tried to find the best way to be in my nest. I tried to rub myself, but it felt like trying to tickle yourself. I wasn’t getting anywhere. My skin was crawling again and my joints were aching. I was so annoyed!

Madi appeared in front of me. I had forgotten all about her. She held out her hand.

“Try this,” she said as she handed me a vibrator. “Trust me.”

.

.

.

Taglist:

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@lyarr24

@waynes-multiverse

@leigh70

@malindacath

@ellie-andthemachine

@iprobablyshipit91

@muhahaha303

@globetrotter28

@deans-spinster-witch

@kazsrm67

@foxyjwls007

@iamsapphine

@saranghaey

@yarafae

@sassy-pelican

@tristanrosspada-ackles

@the-family-business67

@babygirl-one-and-only

@leila22rogers

@supernatural--whore

@nerdymuffinbonkcloud

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

More disturbing stuff - ok, to be fair, the age of consent in CANADA, where this person is from, is TECHNICALLY 16 for SEXUAL ACTIVITY. However, if u r NOT in Canada, this can be interpreted differently, if the legal age is older. General legal age is 18 or 19, depending on where in Canada u reside. This is still extremely creepy. The image itself out of context isn’t offensive. The fact that this person is so sex obsessed, and is older than 17 makes it even more disturbing. Knowing that this person is trying to portray this as animal sex as a fetish is even more cringe. (Yea yea I know ‘but u drool over machines who can’t consent’. They’re fictional sentient machines. They have no practical equivalent in the real world. These animals do. The sexual connections that some furries have is disturbing, but they are somewhat more fictional. The animals in the lion king are fictional in that they are more sentient, but are still being portrayed in a more realistically human nature, and things could be interpreted as such. The leap from cartoon to actual animals is also easier to be made.)

With that being said, convoluted as it may sound, there may be a psychological explanation or two at play here.

They stated that they hate men, despite identifying as non binary. (They were born biologically female.) They may associate procreation with being a a female act, as females are the ones who become pregnant and actually give birth, despite the fact that it does take sperm. (Remember that practical logic may have certain limitations in the mind if someone THIS mentally ill). It could be that the person equates asexual folks as a male (whether they are or not), because we are (often) not procreating.

Or, n this may be the more plausible theory - they may be envious because we (in general, there r asexuals who do have sex for whatever reasons) have a strength in not needing sex, or not having the unhealthy obsession they do with it. There’s a definite all or nothing mentality at play here. (Think: They don’t agree with me, so OBVIOUSLY THEY are the problem, I’m NEVER the problem! Thought process.) They see all asexuals as sad, lonely, sex starved losers. They want sex/attention/validation, and this is a weakness for them. This explains their needs to post porn, their attention seeking, LITERAL begging posts. They want and aren’t getting enough of what we don’t want or need. This frustrates them, and turns into envy. They lack self control n act out inappropriately, projecting their vitriol as a result.

Or, it could very well be some combination thereof.

They do exhibit narcissistic and bpd related traits, especially in their outbursts. Many narcissists and folks with bpd do have unhealthy relationships with sex. The narrow minded thinking (‘they don’t WANT sex. Of course, that’s the only way they could be’ mentality) and the whole give me this n then maybe I’ll be nicer ultimatum is an act of gaslighting/manipulation, also very typical.

The fact that they had the chutzpah to tag acephobic is a fun touch. Sometimes these kinds of folks will hide any indication that they have negative traits. Others are so out of touch with reality, they will flaunt them brazenly.

.

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[awsugar]

why does it look like the tip of frank’s tongue is split in that last (ridiculous, obscene) ig story omg. could he have got it forked

ok i saw the tweet comparison to an older tongue photo as well

and it IS curious. but ill be honest. im a frank tongue enjoyer. he likes to stick it out and be silly and i like to see it because its funny and cute. whatever. but anyway he actually sticks his tongue out a lot and we DEFINITELY would know if he had ever had it split.

for example heres a pic from a little less than a year ago, march 30th i believe

no sign here of anything weird with his tongue. and if he had had any kind of split done since then theres no way it'd grow back so fast.

and this is from september, literally a blurry split second from the very beginning of a video he posted, but nothing weird about his tongue here from i can see.

so yea its weird...im guessing maybe hes one of those people who can do all sorts of crazy shit with their tongue which leads to the weird shape in that pic from that story today. something really wrong with him btw. deeply.

but def no split and i dont think hes ever been that heavy into serious mods anyway...

[typekiku]

TSUKIHIME FASHION REVIEW 4!!!!

hello hello everyone

*insert applause here*

i totally haven't been dealing with some severe writers block for this relatively improvised series of rants no way i just been uhh climbing a.... spiritual mountain! yes! that is it!

i strongly suggest everyone climb their own spiritual mountains it really helps clear *things* up

uh yea whatever

so today we will be returning to the much awaited tsukihime fashion review with the one and only CIEL so go whip up some good ole curry and read along for this rant breakdown of ciel's designs evolution throughout the years.

CIEL

just look at her for a second and reconsider your life choices? have you done your homework today? (if not please go do it thats very uncool) have you returned your library books? have you tied your shoe laces? thats the vibe im getting from her in this pic

suddenly she hits you with this look and its like ugh i could go to war for much less. i could take on maybe a dead apostle or two or even a dead apostle ancestor. sure i'd die but what is death in front of curry senpai amirite? im suuuuuuure she would appreciate that sentiment

on a serious note tho she actually is adorable as hell and i can't believe i only literally just noticed that. the hair especially is to die for.

Takeuchi bless his heart really nailed that cute older student vibe he so sought for

wait wrong pic

now THIS is raw as hell. pure peak 90s edge. i imagine takeuchi was literally sitting on the edge of a blade on the edge of a cliff on the edge of the world.... well theres one more edge joke here but ill leave it be point is this is edgy and i lowkey love it.

i used to feel somewhat indifferent to the design here especially concerning the tattoos which i think i still am. the biggest issue with the tattoos for me specifically the angel wings is simply they aren't symmetrical and thus look bad according to me but everything else is chefs kiss

i talked about this in the roa post but like wtf is wrong with roa man... first thing he does is strip down is bro ok? why does he do this? what does he gain? freak.

CIEL REMAKE

excuse the border im literally copy pastin here ANYWAYs yea idk how i feel about the remake ciel at all tbh to the point that i considered accidentally forgetting this section

its like they brought up her cuteness factor by 100 points in exchange of any edge whatsoever

she got sanitized damn it

SANITIZED

don't get me wrong i still find her cute but GODDAMN where is the edge? where is the allure? i bet she wouldn't ask "Glasses or no glasses" OH WAIT THEY TOOK THAT TOO!! why can't ciel have a good thing in peace... they took away the roa boner yall...

its kinda meh to me overall

again ignore the large size i cba to find a smaller pic rn

yk what she looks dope here so ill allow it. i may be feeling things rn actually its weird because i have never really been a ciel fan but now im gushing over her... huh strange

no comment besides omg hot

ANYWAYS thats all i have to say about ciel

i like her og design much better then the remake because i feel it was very hmmm distinctive is the word i would use.

the remake makes her look much more generic in a sense especially concerning the hair

overall i would say the remake really went for a slightly more generic look in the hair department and i aint really a tm boomer or anything but it is such a shame

thats all i have again so cya folks

remember to read tsukihime right the fuck now or else....

[sybaritick]

i don't think i've ever posted my tav Vierlin here but here's some "art" (i am a writer not an artist i tried my best lol) and background about her!

tl;dr she's an enchantment wizard, originally from menzoberranzan but got into religious trouble and had to very quickly run off to athkatla to teach/tutor. galemancer because gale is into dominant women with issues, and the "wizard on wizard is hot" fic about them is right here.

more fun details/art under the cut!

Gale absolutely gets something [sexual] out of the way she very easily takes the lead because it's what she knows and prefers, so. it's not even A Question how she wants to dominate him, it's the natural order of things to her. the way she wants him is at her mercy. clearly theres something sexy about that. (especially since, again, Gale just does not seem the type super into Normal Sex and even though weird bdsm enchantment-flavored wizard sex with Vierlin is definitely more normal than whatever he did with Mystra, it's still totally weird).

ive talked about my love of wizard/wizard w Gale before, but I love him insulting her wizarding education and he's not even like. intentionally trying to be an asshole (that's not how Gale is). however he is absolutely being an asshole, in the way he is to sorcerers and other magic users lol. he asks about her magic background and she talks about the structure of magic education in menzoberranzan and his reaction is 1) finding it interesting, and 2) oh but it's no blackstaff. oh you don't even learn basic abjuration. oh the class sizes are too big for students to truly learn enough. etc. she has the equivalent of like... wizard undergrad but never "finishes" her "degree" until post-game at a school in athkatla (where she is also an enchantment tutor to the worst upper-class brats in the city, for money).

gale is condescendingly giving her advice on her thesis but the advice is actually helpful, it's just presented in the most mansplaining way possible. but he also genuinely appreciates it and bc the thing she studies is about psychic harm and developing mental control spells that are harder to detect the usage of/(idk, that would require a higher DC to successfully detect/notice you are being enchanted? ill have to rotate it in my head a bit more) and despite this being a very Don't Create The Torment Nexus thing to study he's like oh it's ok. we need people who are brave enough not to let the moralizing administrators stop them from pushing forward all of the frontiers of magic. and, of course, he's a little horny about it because it's so sinister lmao. he's like "hm. you just see the ethics committee as a roadblock huh" (insult that is secretly a compliment) and she's like "yea" (knows he means it Like That). <3

[whataphantasia]

oog i keep forgetting to post here,,, i did a really big oc x canon promptlist on my alt twitter acc like, last year, and i like the stuff i did for it so im posting it here :3

day 1: dancing

needed to draw this for the fic where they dance at prom and a destroyed universe respectively ^_^

day 2: stargazing. the thumbnail image at the top :D

day 3: phone call

day 4: (not so) sneaky glances

ely sits inbetween these two in class. they have to deal with them staring daggers at each other. very stressful sorry ely </3 here's the doodle from like 2019 that made me wanna draw this

also like there's this moment in the fic where eadr is watching mysterious mysteries together and..... HSHSBDHSHDGDHDHS

day 5: "i'm proud of you"

THESE TWO NEED VALIDATION SO BAD RAGHHH don't @ me about the lighting on zim IK ITS REVERSED,,,

day 6: music/playlist. i didn't make any art for this but i did show off my playlists for zaeadr :D i will not elaborate here bc I Don't Feel Like It.

day 7: whispers

this is actually a redraw... :3c specieswap eadr! so cute :)

day 8: closeness

ok i didnt actually make any new art for this i just posted two old ones from 2021 LOL

day 9: protectiveness (CW blood)

dib and zim r dangerous to have as love interests come on ely 😔

day 10: "how was your day" (CW blood as well)

ely needs to tell him to stop tracking blood into the house.....

day 11: one wish

WOW something NOT ely related?! anyways ana and ad's whole love arc is kinda like... they both have responsibilities and unrequited feelings. moreso than my other oc x canon pairings. i think them a lot

day 12: matching accessories

cove jumpscare. IDK I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MATCHING KEYCHAINS HE BUYS FOR MC... this is reiner btw i was playing as xim in my like 3rd playthrough >_< xe's fond of spoiling him with gifts, more than my other mcs...

day 13: nightmare

it took me 13 days to break and make sans x shelby art SJWKDJWJ anyway. shelby doesn't meet him pre-corruption but whatever i think they're cute

day 14: makeup

I HATE THIS DRAWING RAAAA but ely likes asking to do his nails ^_^ even tho theyre terrible at it but he doesnt mind :3c

day 15: "you are my happiness"

ok uhh my bad this isn't oc x canon LOL. but... erfi and ana... have a lot of angst like halfway/early in their arc bc erfi sees her as a beacon of light/savior, especially due to her current relationship with the ppl in her life.................... they get better dw!!! ad goes through a similar arc so i think that was how i tied it into the oc x canon promptlist LMAO

day 16: indirect kiss

SODA BOTTLE... IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. i've talked about this scene in the fic NON STOP to my close friends.... its when dib realizes he has a crush on ely...... i drew this like in 2021 SHWJSJW

day 17: morning cuddles

SORRY i just think it's a super funny possibility that zim becomes domestic. idc if it's out of character thats why its funny U_U!!

oh and uhm yea i have a fankid 4 these guys... have i talked abt her... i dont think i have... but ive drawn her a lot... maybe ill post more art abt her later...

day 18: photoshoot

uhhhmmm im gonna crop this for my tumblr.... yea.... anyways i love the possibility that when they're adults they become super popular, like in dib's wonderful life of doom X)

day 19: voicemail. THAT ONE THING I POSTED!! yes it was a shelby x error thing. i was listening to pick up the phone by fir at the time, which like, its not the errorshelby dynamic at all they're not toxic, but. the vibes... in the fic after shelby leaves the anti void he has a massive crisis... thats what the drawing is...

day 20: "what happened to you"

BRO I HAVE SO MANY IMAGES RELATED TO THIS FOR ANA AND ADAMAÏ... the images explain everything idc read them instead

day 22/23: hand made gift, late night drive

ummmm sooooo theres this chapter in the fic where they go to an echo flower field on the surface at night........ this is that.... DIES

that last one i never posted on twitter :0c and uhm thats all i did of the 30 day promptlist! it was fun! i got to draw so much... yay :3 thats all. explodes in embarrassment

[charkie-ee]

HDBSJDHSJHSSHSHJSHSHAJAHSJAHDGJSHSHDJDJSKCHSimnotrespondingsuperlateyouareNDKDJSJKSKFHDJDJDHDJDKDJFJJFJFJFJFJDHAKSIJGJDKFJDKD

yup! turns out everything is ok! sleeping was weird after the first few days but im all good now.

is so funny that you can hold 3 different conversations thru tumblr. like thats awesome. we’ve been talking about several things from drawings to lore to…whatever this post turned into, and i am so here for it. tumblr: the place for multitasking.

and yes i am quite literally ‘lmao’ at all of them.

HELPPPP FHDJDHJDD ah yes instead of going to my room to read your posts i am actually just going in there to do lots of drugs. tons of them. like um. yea. because thats what people do. ahaha. i would know, i am a person. totally. 100% all human being here. i say as my skin suit is falling off

yo followers‼️ you best get ready for this insane lore we’re totally gonna drop soon‼️‼️ you’re asses better be fully equipped with arg gear‼️its gonna include my whole lobotomy + other stuff i got in 3rd grade‼️ its coming very soon‼️ definitely‼️ this is certainly not a LIE‼️

awhhh!! thats so sweet!! sometimes when i’m at the store shopping/out and about in the world— ill see a specific color of red that looks exactly like the background color of your pfp. i’ve named it ‘semifontos red.’ creative name, i know.

also 🫵 fellow tea drinker. whats your favorite kind. 🫵🫵🫵

(i’m a heavy chai drinker, and and a black tea, earl gray bitch. BUT! occasionally i add some green teas into the mix)

aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! i need you to stop being the #1 nicest tumblr person i’ve ever met on this website, or i might explode again from happiness. ditto my friend, ditto indeed. you’ve filled the last few months of my life with indescribable joy, and every time i open the app, i cant help but smile because i know ill see your posts on my dash. your just as silly as i am, and i even start giggling before i read your posts because i know they’re gonna be good. thanks for being my parasocial pal <33

holy shit u right— tbh i kinda forgot abt that. sigh. he should get another thoracotomy? gastrectomy? both of those??? again. that’d be peak comedy, and you know what they say, third time’s the charm

yes, i agree, we may have become mutuals via slimecicle getting another chest & stomach surgery, but i dont think we’d be talking back and forth and exchanging drawings of our little silly sonas if it weren’t for bisexual purga(y)tory post. so for that, it will always have a special place in my heart.

yup, i repeat, if you have STUPID EYES that CANT SEE without GLASSES/CONTACTS you could instead buy ONE NINTENDO SWITCH or TWO EXPENSIVE GAMES FOR NINTENDO SWITCH EVERY YEAR if you give up on your eyes. INVEST NOW!! BUY TODAY!! just DONT TELL ANYONE THAT *I* SAID THAT!!!

speaking of glasses!!! i finally got a new prescription!!! yippee!! (round of applause.mp3 starts playing)

i might also be trying contacts? its a bit tricky because apparently my eye is more oval shaped than the traditional round shaped, (i think its called asigmatism) but its still possible! so ill see how it goes!!

ahhh, my bad my bad. sooo, if thats the case?

~~~~~~ - ~~~ = ~~~ ?

(explosions in the background)

oh. maybe not.

(also just to put it here i have seen your drawing request in my ask box and i am working on it dw!)

@semifontos

GRAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (i crawl out of my grave but this time kill bill style)

IM STILL ALIVE!!! I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMI—

but it is done!!!! i did it!!!!! after years in training, various classes in alchemy, and many many engine failures!!!!!!! it is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!

behold, the SEMIFONTOS DESIGN:

im so so sorry that this took so long and might not be as high quality as my other art— but i hope you enjoy it!!

gonna be honest, a screw was loose on my glasses and my right lens fell out just as i started working on this again. so. if any lines look wonky you can file all complaints to my prescription glasses.

but, yea!! there it is!! i plan to start being more active! i swear! i just have a lot goin on rn!! may reblog/post some other things later. we’ll see how it goes. luv u pal & thanks 4 bein patient!!

[integreti]

[4:56 PM] kaidan: ❝i am coming for all the monsters that ever touched him, i am coming for all the ones who twisted his stars into shadows, they turned him into a nightmare, so i’m going to be theirs.❞

me:  SHOOKETH [5:08 PM] ryan: w O W [5:57 PM] kaidan: kaidan is seriously vindictive  l i k e  people downplay that to the point where i no longer  understand ?? ?  yes he's a great guy.  v sweet, v kind & loving 10/10 bf and will always open the door for u but uh why are u ignoring his VITRIOLIC comments towards the people who've done Bad things & his thirsty ass comments for revenge  LIKE.  he's legit voiced his complete and total HATRED before, in-game WTF

kaidan:  can you feel it, shepard?  feel the quickening?  the illusive man better say his prayers tonight, ‘cause we are comin’ for him.  murderous asshole.  oh, yeah.  tide.  is.  turning. [6:03 PM] ryan: u right tho.  ppl ignore that literally all the time [6:06 PM] kaidan:  i honestly get so mad about it okay.  i hate when they downplay kaidan's abilities or when they write him as extremely idk — not quite submissive but meek?  he'll follow orders, but he'll also give shepard snark if he doesn't like those orders. [6:12 PM] ryan: yeah no he's snarky af [6:22 PM] ryan: or he can be, at least [6:23 PM] ryan: it's part of why i love him sm [10:04 PM] kaidan: YESS i love attitude.  given, he doesnt throw it around willy nilly but he's not afraid to stand his ground [10:04 PM] ryan: it's why ryan likes him sm too bc kaidan will stand up to him if he needs to.  most ppl won't stand up to ryan / stand their ground for one reason or another [10:05 PM] kaidan:  YES, ABSOLUTELY.  THEIR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS THAT DYNAMIC.  and it sucks that so much content out there always has kaidan backing down bc shepard is commander shepard 

[eveningepiphany]

sick | H.S oneshot

A/N: harry’s post on Instagram about the cancellation of the LA shows inspired this— the amount of times he said sorry was so so sweet. I hope feels better soon. anyways this is my first post on here, so I hope you enjoy!

summary: Y/N looking after Harry when he’s got a bad case of the flu <3

warnings: mentions of illness and harry takes some painkillers. other than that just cute fluff between best friends that are totally inlove with eachother.

“Harry?” You knocked softly on his hotel door, hands struggling to balance the bags full of medicine, groceries and other necessities you bought for him.

A groan sounded from the other side, “coming… coming.”

The door swung open to reveal your best friend, his hair rumpled and a doona cover wrapped around his shirtless frame.

“Wow— you look like you’ve gonna through the wringer, H.” You say gingerly, taking in his eye bags.

Somehow, as much as you can tell he looks sick, he still looks cute.

“Feel like I’m dying.” He croaks, walking back into the room, allowing you to follow behind.

“Y’didnt have to come though.” He says, laying back down on the bed as you begin to unpack the many things you bought over for him.

“Don’t be stupid, of course I did. You’re sick.” You roll your eyes.

“I don’t want you getting sick aswell, Y/N. This is awful.”

“I know, but you would do the same for me.” You sigh, grabbing some pain relief and water as you head over to where he lays.

The TV is playing your favourite show, the one you both watch together, and he’s clearly been binge watching it.

You sit down next to him carefully, reaching your hand up to touch his forehead. It’s uncomfortably warm.

“Take these.” You prompt, and he half opens his eyes.

He takes the two pills from your palm and moves to sit up a bit.

He slips them onto his tongue, and you bring the cool glass of water up to his lips, letting him wash the pain relief back.

He thanks you before laying his head back down, hand coming up to rub at his eyes.

“Feel so bad for not being able to play.” He sighs, and you knew this would have been on the forefront of his mind.

You smiled sadly, it’s just too sweet how dedicated he is to his fans. Placing the glass on his bedside table you scoot closer to him.

“C’mere.”

“Noooo—“ he drones, “you’ll get sick.”

“Jesus Christ Harry, you’re too bloody caring.” You laugh as he tries to roll away from you.

You pull him into a hug, that he’s trying with his little energy left to resist.

Your hand goes to his hair and he immediately begins to cave, body slowly sinking into your arms.

“You did everything you could, and everyone will appreciate that so much.”

“It’s more than ok to put yourself first, Harry. Especially when it’s regarding your health.” You whisper to him.

“Yea, you’re right. There’s no way I would’ve been able to play tonight anyway, but I still feel terrible.”

“I know it really sucks, but it’s pretty much done now, so let’s just focus on getting better hm?”

“Hate seeing you like this.”

“Hate you having to see me like this.” He groans, eyes closed.

“Come on, not the first time I’ve done it.”

“That does not make me feel better.” He chuckles.

“I mean you’ve probably dealt with far worse from me.”

He smiles, knowing where you’re going with this. A handful of stories you rarely bring up to save your dignity.

But your desperate to have him feel even just a little better, so self-deprecation it is.

“Least you’re not nearly shitting yourself.”

Last year you had picked up a stomach bug on a family holiday, which Harry had come to, and it hit you out of no where.

Poor Harry was sharing a room with you, and had to deal with the constant running to the toliet, crying and clingy-ness— because of course you’re not only an emotional wreck when sick, but you crave comfort.

He stayed inside with you for half the holiday, looking after you, making sure you stayed hydrated.

“The amount of times you cried when that happened.”

“Whatever, you’re just as clingy when you’re sick though.” You tease.

“I don’t remember inviting you over here.” He sniffed.

“Yea but you would not even actually try to make me leave. You want me to look after you.”

He let out a yawn, “I like when you’re here. So I guess that’s true.”

“I’ll make you some soup, that way you’ll like me even more.” You laugh, looking down at where he’s practically curled into your side.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, his breathing slowing out— god knows how much sleep he’d gotten last night, probably stressing about the shows.

“Y/N.” He sounded gravely as he spoke, voice riddled with sleep.

“Mmhm?”

“I love you.” He slurred, and you’re not sure he even means to be telling you this right now.

Sure, you say it all the time to eachother in passing. But the way he’s telling you now feels all the more personal, tucked into your chest.

“Like really do love you.” He reaffirms, and your heart flutters.

“Tell me again when you’re not delusional from your fever, m’kay?” You whisper.

He nods gently.

“I love you too, H.” And you can’t help but follow the words you just uttered with a kiss to his cheek.

[sunarinluvr]

|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry. 

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

 but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom. 

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head. 

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer. 

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways” 

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-” 

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers. 

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said. 

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting. 

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early. 

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner. 

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner. 

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice” 

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off. 

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up. 

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late. 

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

[xensergal]

Xen "Octavia" Sergal Goes On A Very Stupid And Long Rant About Her Favourite Show Helluva Boss Because She Needs To Get This Shit Off Her Chest ASAP™: The Movie.

This is a long, long ass fucking rant about this show. i will type shit as it comes up in my head. i dont care if my takes are "trash" or "shit" or whatever. its my tumblr and i get to choose whats posted here. ok.

its actually fucking insane how my 2 favourite shows are on near complete opposites to each other on the surface. you have an impossibly perfectly written show with 0 bad episodes and the greatest characters to ever be on TV (Breaking Bad), and then you have a 15-20m per episode comedy/musical/drama on youtube (Helluva Boss). but this isnt about me comparing BrBa to HB, its just about HB.

i have a lot to say about this show. a lot i really, REALLY couldnt get out due to twitter character limits/not really having many friends who watch helluva boss, so tumblr gets my full thoughts, straight from the top of my head. right as theyre being produced. enjoy.

Stuff

the premise of this show is pretty damn cool. a comedy/musical/drama about a bunch of imps in hell who start up an assassination business to make ends meet, while also yknow shenanigans n other shit happens like complicated love trigonometry, bc hey its a show you cant 1 thing forever bc thatd be stale *cough* SITCOMS *cough* and repetitive and would be a shit show, this isnt a shit show. its one of the best ive ever seen. but back to what i was saying. the show has a fantastic premise with good plot and cool characters i will get to in just a moment. i rewatched all of whats been uploaded for this post. to refresh my thoughts and finally, get all this shit off my chest which ive been needing to for all this time.

O YEA OBV SPOILERS FOR ALLLL OF HELLUVA BOSS DUHHHHHHHHHH

Pilot

this is 3 years old and damn does it show. the animation is very stiff (but still, well made) compared to later episodes, and especially 1 which ill get into later. but the pilot does a great job and introducing the viewer to the main characters of the show, those being Blitzo (Brandon Rogers), Moxxie (Richard Horvitz), Millie, and Loona (both Erica Lindbeck). all with weird, and fucked up relationships with eachother. M&M are a married couple (gross), Loona is a complete whore with syphilis, and Blitzo is her adoptive Father whos also a complete perv who stalks M&M at their house. its fun! its a good plot with good characters and its pretty damn funny. theres also a major supporting character introduced in this episode, Stolas (Brock Baker). i love him, youll see why very soon.

the pilot isnt without its issues tho, the pacing is complete ass with flashbacks inside of flash backs and its just, man idk its fucked up dude i dont like it. weird shit.

7.5/10, good shit, good opening to HB

Murder Family // S1: Episode 1

good episode! damn after a year of waiting after the pilot for something new people surely had high expectations and id say E1 followed, its pretty good.

plot wise it follows I.M.P on a job to kill some bitch n yknow shenanigans n whatnot moxxie fucks it up because hes a bitch and people almost die but moxxie saves em in the end its good and i like it!

some stuff changed from the pilot, mainly voice actors. Erica Lindbeck no longer plays both Millie and Loona, just Loona. meanwhile Millies new VA is Vivian Nixon and shes pretty good! Millie has more of a southern accent now which will make sense in a future episode. however Stolas also had a VA change, Bryce Pinkham. its flawless and makes me love Stolas even more, you will see why.

8/10 episode, great shit. much better than the pilot.

Loo Loo Land // S1: Episode 2

words cannot describe how much i love this episode. its flawless.

saying something is flawless is big, really big, but i do feel like this one is. and its all thanks to the opening sequence. the opening sequence makes the audience do a complete 180 about what they thought of a character, no longer is stolas just "a rich, important figure in hell who is extemely gay for blitzo" hes that, plus a loving and devoted father. and the music, its perfection. its the highlight of the whole moment alongside the beautiful visuals and deep character development. and on the subject of characters. Stolas #1 comfort character.

this episode introduces quite a few, the first 2 youll see are Octavia (Barrett Wilbert Weed), Stolas' daughter and Literally Me™, and also Stella (Georgina Leahy), Stolas' arranged wife who wants him dead as hell with NO shoes on in the casket for fucking blitzo. shes hot. very hot. girlboss. shes mean to Stolas tho :(

this episodes plot is cool too. I.M.P make an exception for Stolas and are hired to be bodyguards for the day at a theme park oh joy a theme park how whimsical and fun loving! oh goody! everything is on fire by the end of the episode! splendid!

but like yeaa dude this episode slaps, great plot great characters great shit, O YEA CHARACTERS i forgot about Fizzarolli (Alex Brightman) hes in this episode too, at least a robot version of him. Blitzo and Octavia hate him, thats cool.

10/10, i think this is the best episode of HB released so far. it also has Wally Wackford (Don Darryl Rivera)

Wally Wackford Counter: 1

Spring Broken // S1: Episode 3

oh damn! another banger! lets keep this good episode streak going!

this episodes also great. not as great as E2, but still great.

I.M.P get their parking spot stole by Verosika Mayday (Cristina "Vee" Valenzuela) whos a famous popstar in hell (thats why theyre in hell because they listen to pop and pop sucks listen to metal instead youll also go to hell but for a much cooler reason) and just happens to be Blitzo's ex girlfriend. so Blitzo challenges her to a duel where he bets I.M.P can kill more people than Verosika can fuck by the end of the day an who wins gets the parking spot (spoiler alert blitzo wins bc ofc, plot demands it) and then shenanigans lol.

i really dont have much to say about this one other than i like it, verosika is hot, drunk moxxie is funny, and that hehehoo sex joke. O YEA the musics good too its very good

9/10. banger

C.H.E.R.U.B // S1: Episode 4

i hate this episode. i really really hate it.

nearly everything which couldve went poorly, did. and i dont like that. let me explain.

the plot is okay, I.M.P go to kill a trillionaire. good! thats cool! fuck billionaires and especially fuck trillionaires. meanwhile a competitor, C.H.E.R.U.B, is trying to stop this guy from ending his life. and I.M.P cant have that so they convince him to fuckin die already lol. its fine but how the episode executes this is atrocious. you could easily skip through this one and go onto E5 anyway, this plot adds nothing to the current overarching storyline. yet.

for comedy, pacing and the actual joke is everything. especially if your main writer for this episode (at least by order of appearance in credits) has been doing comedy skits on youtube for many, many years now. no offense to Brandon Rogers, hes phenomenal, but this episodes pacing and jokes are trash. the pacing goes as follows:

Beginning plot development/jokes - meeting the competitors/jokes - joke - joke - joke - fight - joke - end joke. its trash and doesnt work at all imo. the jokes fall flat and its not well paced at all.

however there is 1 more point i want to bring up about not just the episode, but the show in general. regarding moxxie and the things which happen to him. moxxie in this show is essentially a less depressed Squidward Tentacles. this sounds fucking insane but Let Me Explain. the writing has him treated like a fucking punching bag for jokes and/or plot development. in E3, this was for plot development. he got stuffed in a beer keg and nearly got ate by a monster fish. this episode it was for no reason whatsoever. he just, got hurt and thats the joke. the joke is moxxie got hurt. thats it. next episode does it worse, ill get to it.

but anyway, this episode was shit but i liked the fight scene in it, that was cool.

4/10, trash but the fight was good. it also has wally wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 2

The Harvest Moon Festival // S1: Episode 5

wow.

when this episode first released, i didnt think much of it. i believe i said it was about an 8/10ish or something like that. rewatching it, i couldnt have been more wrong.

this episode has some fan-fucking-tastic plot. and it just might be the best plot driven episode to date. maybe E7 gives it a run for its money, maybe.

the plot is as follows, Stolas invites I.M.P to the wrath ring for a day off for the harvest moon festival. here we get to meet Millies parents Lin (Su Jan Chase) and Joe (Edward Bosco), but also Striker, whos played by Norman Fucking Reedus from video game kojima. and my GOD he fucking slays the role. besides Bryce Pinkham as Stolas, Norman Reedus as Striker has to be my personal favourite Voice in the show. its fucking fantastic.

however there is 1 character i do have to mention in particular, Sallie May (Morgana Ignis).

Why her in particular? she only has a few lines! yea true, however it gives me an opportunity to talk about the shows flawless LGBTQ+ representation. In Sallie's case, shes Transgender. you can tell the gender of an Imp by the pattern on the horns, millie for example has mostly black horns with thin white stripes, a sign of being AFAB. Moxxie and Sallie however have even sized black and white horn stripes, a sign of being AMAB. but what about other characters?

(these are all from memory so forgive me if any are wrong)

Blitzo is Pansexual

Moxxie and Millie are both Bisexual

Stolas is Gay

Stella and Octavia are currently unconfirmed (i think) tho i headcanon them both as Lesbian because i can.

Striker is also probably Gay i mean have you seen him talking to blitzo like cmon

(also funny side note i should add the VA's for Stella and Sallie, Georgina and Morgana respectively, both ship their characters together i think thats pretty fuckin cool i feel like i just have to mention that somewhere)

theres def a lot more ive missed, however these are the ones which come to mind. their sexuality/gender identity is never forced in your face, its never too painfully obvious that theyre gay for the sake of it, its pretty much flawless representation and i feel more shows should take a thing or 2 from HB in this aspect

Gushing over Norman Reedus amd LGBTQ+ rep aside, the plot revolves around a yearly game of strength in the harvest festival where blitzo and striker (among many others) compete in together. also tangent time

LETS COUNT HOW MANY TIMES MOXXIE GETS FUCKED BY A SHARK

3. thats 3 times. again, punching bad. what did moxxie do to you, anyway tangent over.

anyway striker competes in the games to gain the trust of I.M.P to stab them in the back by killing their gateway into the living world, Stolas. and you wouldnt believe who hired him (at least i didnt when first watching), Stella. anyway moxxie finds out, shit goes down, they fight, striker gets away. moxxie finally gains the trust of millies parents, big reveal, episode end. banger fucking plot and its just so damn good.

remember how i said the animation in this show gets really gooood,,this is the episode i was thinkin about when writing that. this episode has hands down the best animation (aside maybe the finale of E6) overall of any episode. with cool panorama shots which go around the whole charaters, n shit like that its great.

banger song too, striker did a sing and its good.

10/10, a great episode, but still a weaker 10/10 than E2. it also has Wally Wackford

Wally Wackford Counter: 3

Truth Seekers // S1: Episode 6

I barely remember anything from this episode, and at the time of writing, i only watched it five minutes ago.

so the plot is like, blitzo and moxxie get captured by crazy conspiracy guys called D.H.O.R.K.S (haha dorks) and its up to Da Girlz™ to save em meanwhile Da Boyz™ get truth gassed and spill a bunch of plot shit and its good i dont remember what exactly they said but its a fuckin good scene the animation is great with a unique visual style bc theyre hallucinating and OOOOOOOH the hallucination song its a fucking bop i love it (This is a good time to mention for anyone who yet doesnt know Sam Haft has put a bunch of the songs hes wrote for HB on Spotify, they may be just covers, but theyre still fucking great.) but anyway the fuckin, fight scene when millie and loona catch up to moxxie and blitzo is gahhdamn fuckin beautiful its so well animated n shit and then ya just got

Demon Stolas.

because fuck yes.

anyway yea good episode i guess plots good everythings good its just, i forget about this episode so often im convinced its not real

6/10, banger, just wish it wasnt so forgettable

OZZIE'S // S1: Episode 7 - FINALE PART I

rewatching this episode hurts. i cant put it into words how, its just a lot of fucked up shit to take in at once and i really do not want to write about this because its late and im tired so ill keep it fucking simple

Blitzo fucks everything up by using a fake date with Stolas as a cover to stalk M&M on their 1 year anniversary of their wedding, but then moxxie breaks into song and Asmodeus (James Monroe Iglehart) does not like that one bit so he and fizzarolli fuckin rip him a new asshole meanwhile blitzo interferes and gets both him and stolas into shit and my GOD this is where it gets depressing.

this song, despite it being a banger, is depressing as shit. i cant stand it, i cant stand how it treats blitzo and stolas

the shitty choices theyve made...

the people theyve thrown away...

its all coming back to them in song form. and it fucking sucks for them.

but m&m are doin okay ig they fuckin, hit fizz over the head and continued their song after that shit its all good for them tho ig or smthn idk im tired.

10/10, a phenomenal ending to the 1st season of one of the greatest adult animated shows ever written. it also has Wally Wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 4

THE CIRCUS // S2: Episode 1

damn i like this episode

i like the blitzo backstory with how he and fizz used to be before they now hate eachother, with how he met stolas and became his first friend. with everything really. its a great episode and like

damn its good idk what to say im tired its just a good episode.

Johnathan Freeman does a good job as Paimon, stolas' dad too even tho hes a shitty dad.

ok yea plot tho, it takes place like ~25 years before the pilot which is neat i like backstories. but like, paimon literally bought blitzo just so stolas could have a friend so he didnt need to be a father to him thats just. man i dont like that. blitzo and stolas are so cute tho i like them. uuuh fuckin, more stella content too shes back still a girlboss still hot, still mean to stolas :( you can tell im tired cant you lemme just say a thing

WAIT I FORGOT THE SONG AT THE END the song at the end is so goood i love it. idk if i like it more than You Will Be Okay but i like it its good i like it thats all i can really say rn. i could say more if i wasnt tired but im tired.

9/10, good shit, good backstory, good good good good episode.

SEEING STARS // S2: Episode 2

i have. so much to say about this. too many words to fit into tumblrs infinite character limit. but ill keep it brief because i want to

you have no idea, how long, i have waited for this to happen. just one scene between Octavia and Loona. just one, and now i have it. i am complete.

i saw this post which talked about star and moon symbolism between octavia and loona and it made me realise, holy shit, there is gonna be so much more octavia and loona content in future episodes if all this isnt a coincidence. and i am ready for it all.

i could talk about the rest of the episode if i wanted too, but i dont. i only want to talk about these perfect 2 minutes between these characters. i do think this is the best moment in the entire show so far. seeing a headcanon that youve had for so long (in this case loona and via being friends) become true, it connects with you in a way that not much else can.

and i dont care about the rest of the episode. not one bit. not right now anyway. i just want this moment, forever.

10/10. a good episode all around, and a truly, perfect moment. it also has Wally Wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 5

and damn thats like, all of helluva boss so far. ive been writing this for like 7h now becasue tumblr keeps breaking for me and i keep having to write anything all over again. god im tired. but im so glad to finally get all this off my chest after years of not really having anywhere to gush about this show. it means a lot to me, more than what people think. and i dont know where i would be without it, literally.

"but whats with the wally wackford counter" its there because its funny and hes a funny character.

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲