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aeonstale · 24 days ago

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ㅤ WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GENERAL'S CHILD .ᐟ

pairings; jing yuan x plantonic!child reader.

content warning; mention of depression ✘ child neglect, angst ✘ hurt/comfort ✘ alcohol ✘ gn reader ✘ 2.8k wc. thank you @mikashisus for proofreading!

syn. being the child of an esteemed general was harder than it seemed. especially being one of a general who was heartbroken. will time fix your relationship? you could never say, but a part of you hoped it will.

All on the Luofu know of the general Jing yuan. One of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance. An esteemed individual who proved time and time again his worth. But none knew of the family he had built behind doors.

Your mother was a straightforward lady. The type to get what she wanted with no efforts needed, so it was no surprise she managed to charm the lazy general after he had caught her eye. Their love story was almost one sided. Jing yuan was enamored with her, finding her intelligence and personality to be beautiful features of hers. Yet, your mother’s feelings weren’t mutual.

She wouldn’t deny he was a wonderful partner and knew he would be an even greater father, but her heart was never with him. Their love story ended the moment it started. She was driven with guilt every day. Reminiscing how she had charmed him and never properly broke ties with him. The guilt that ate her alive worsened when you came into the picture.

Selfish as it was, she was thankful you looked more like her than the general.

But for your sake, she endured. Swallowing her feelings down, feigning ignorance at the lump that choked her each time you would call out to your father.

Finally, one day she could no longer pretend. She fled, leaving behind a three sentence letter for your father to read.

The general was devastated. Yet another one of his beloved left him. He judged every one of his past acts, trying—clawing at his memories to find one moment where he stepped over the line. Yet no matter how far he looked, he could only drown in self loathing.

That was when you came into the room.

The blessing that your mother was grateful for, was a curse to your grieving father.

You looked like her. Down to the shine in your eyes as you called out to him, a plushie resembling Mimi held tight against your chest. You were oblivious to the storm raging inside of the man. He turned his gaze away from yours and in a low voice, asked you to return to bed. He wasn’t ready to confront you.

And it will be his cowardly self that will quake the bond you shared.

He drowned himself in work, a feat that raised suspicion on his well being. Jing yuan was aware you didn’t deserve such treatment, but he couldn’t do anything else but ignore you. whenever you asked about your mother’s whereabouts, he would bite his tongue.

The news of her leaving was given to you by the mouth of another. The comfort you sought was given by the arms of another. The father you begged to return was hidden away by the heartbroken general.

But you grew.

You grew to look more and more like your mother. And the more her features settled in, the further a distance was built between you and Jing yuan.

You commend him for trying to repair what he once broke, but no one could extinguish the fire that burned with hatred. Even more so after Jing yuan picked up the stray Yanqing. Providing him with the fatherly love you were deprived of. Giving him his attention when he never gazed at you.

Seeing him care for him as a son.

When you were his blood.

Unfortunately, you could not bring yourself to hate the young boy. Say what you will, but he wasn’t at fault for an adult’s mistake. The two of you grew close, and he noticed the awkward tension between you and the general.

He tried to bring back what was burned to ashes.

That was when the video diary started.

Yanqing was persistent. Somehow he managed to convince you to empty all your frustration and anger on a video. Ranting and cussing the general out. You were reluctant at first. How can this help?

You doubt talking to a camera lens would do you any good, but you humoured the young boy.

The first entry was awkward. It was obvious you had never done this before. By the third, you became more relaxed. You talked of your day, how horribly awkward a cloud knight gave you a birthday present on behalf of your father.

(You sat at your desk, the camera aimed at you while you went off ;″ scoff, get this. My birthday was today, and I expected it to go well! Go out with friends, eat and celebrate, right?″, you asked the lens, ″ Well the general had other plans, because tell me why a knight came out of nowhere and delivered my supposed gift? At this point I saw him more times than I did with my actual father. He might as well adopt me.″ You crossed your arms, gaze lost somewhere.

You mulled over your thoughts, a familiar lump forming in your throat. ″ What is it that made him so keen on ignoring me? What because my mother left him? I’m still here.″ Your voice cracked. You tried reining your emotions back in. But the stinging in your eyes was hard to ignore. ″ Whatever.″ and the recording ended. )

The method was healing in some way. All the anger that ate at your mind, all the emotions you didn’t know where to put finally had a place.

It was rejuvenating.

Maybe it was the calm of your mind that pushed you to do one last video. One last moment in your room before you went looking for your mother.

And when the scene was cut, you took one last look.

Whether you will miss it or not, that all depends on the future. But for now, you wanted to leave it behind. It was time for you to close this book and start a new one.

Five times.

( That was the number of times someone he held dearly walked out of his life. Five times he was at his lowest but forced himself to act as though all was fine. And as the stillness of his home met him, Jing yuan knew it ringed the sixth.

His steps heavy, his heart beating harshly against his ribcage. Tearing open a new wound, one he swore would push him to become mara struck. With trembling hands, he pushed the door to your room open.

Jing yuan was met with the consequences of his actions. )

You reunited with your mother on Penacony. She was the most radiant woman you saw. Her brightness seemed to have been fueled even more after she left. On her arm was a man, dressed formally with a small child in his arms. You guessed she remade her life after she left.

You didn’t want to interrupt the moment, so you lingered nearby. It would be considered lying if you denied the hurt you felt at the sight of the happy family. But you weren’t here to ask her to form a family again, just fix the link you once shared.

And so you waited. And waited. And before long, it had been three years since you landed in Penacony. Yet, not once have you initiated any contact with your mother. What was it? Fear of rejection? Or was the bittersweet moment between her family a reminder of what could have been? What should have been?

During your stay, you began to wonder who was truly at fault. Was it you? Or perhaps Jing yuan? Or was your mother the one in the wrong all this time?

With a heavy heart, you approached her. Concealing your true identity, you became her friend. You asked her about life, about love, about failed projects. And it was one night, when you both were drinking (she convinced you to drink non-alcohol despite you being hundreds of years old.) Her drunk self quickly admitted to her wrongs, to her feelings.

(″ I had a child and a husband. Before the current ones. ″ your mother spoke in a melancholic tone. ″ They should be around your age by now. I,..I wasn’t the best mother to them. I was selfish and only thought of myself. I left them behind. Was there for their first day at school, wasn’t there for their first heartbreak. I wasn’t there. And I,″ her lips began to tremble as did your hands. ″I regret breaking the heart of a wonderful man.″ she sobs, the grasp she had on the glass tightening,

″ He was so so wonderful, but I was young and scared of commitment. I broke his heart and just left. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hated me. Gosh,″ she tried to wipe the onslaught of tears but to no avail. The dam was broken. ″It must have been hard, having to juggle between being a parent, a broken man and a general. If only I hadn’t been so dumb.″ You don't remember how you got home that night. Only the still tears and the stains on your pillows being the reminder of reality.)

While sulking in your own sorrows, you met the Astral Express. They were a much needed breath of fresh air. Their comedic and energized selves was something you missed having in your life (you wonder how Yanqing is doing?).

You proudly deemed them the happiest moments of your life.

(The room was pristine. The same state it was after you left. Jing yuan made sure to clean it each time. He hoped that once you returned, you would smile up at him for his help in taking care of it. Just as you did when you were a young little child.

The general was at the desk, much smaller than his build. His eyes focused on the video playing. He listened to your voice. He listened to your complaints. As the next video rolled by, he could only wonder.

What overcame him that pushed him to become such a failure? If his mentor saw him now, she would have knocked some sense into him, or beat him up until not even Lan could help.

Jing yuan misses you.)

Once you met back with Welt and Himeko, the one who you least expected to see again was there, his back given to you. You had half a mind to run away and hide somewhere else, but the tight grip March had on you locked you in place. (You ignored how your heart tugged at the haggard sight of him. He who loved sleeping in the sun like a big cat, looked as though he hadn’t slept in years.).

Your reunion was awkward.

″ Well, would you look at that? Here comes the big heroes—″.

Silence.

And then, a call of your name.

You couldn’t take it any more. You made out some sort of excuse and ran. Just like you did all those years. It was the one thing you pride yourself in. The calls to your name fell deaf on your ears. All your mind could conjure was to get away.

Why was he here? Was he looking for you? No, he wouldn’t waste time with a senseless matter such as your whereabouts. But,..what if he was looking for you?

Your running skid to a stop. And what if he was? What should you feel about it? Happiness, anger or nothing? When did it become so complicated to know how to feel?

He was a father who neglected you. But he was also a father who cared somehow. You weren’t a fool, you saw how hesitant he was to talk to you, the attempts at reconciliation. To mend your relationship. But he was a coward, he never dared to take the leap.

He was still wrong for the neglect.

But do you have the heart to forgive him? Do you have the want for a new bond? To mend the broken and shape it into a new future?

You don’t know.

But it seemed as though Jing yuan took the leap this time. The heavy steps of his were easily recognisable. ″ I,..May we have a moment? ″ Should you?

The look of hurt, familiarity and guilt swirled in his amber eyes. Maybe you should.

″ I know a place where we could talk. ″

The walk was agonizingly awkward. You had to steel yourself so as to not run away. Time had created an obvious gap between you both. Not knowing how to act, not knowing what the other liked. Not knowing about the other. You might as well be strangers.

The sight of the bar owned by Siobhan washed away the tension on your shoulders.

″ We arrived. ″ turning around to meet his gaze, you found it was already on you. Coughing, you walked ahead. Trying to ignore the soft expression he wore. Trying to ignore how guilt swirled in his eyes, trying to ignore how he looked at you as a father would.

″ There will be much to talk about, but let me start. Please? ″ you flinched.

You didn’t expect him to talk first, busy preparing yourself for another hour of silence and uncomfortable small talk. ″ let’s sit down first. ″

He followed behind you like a lost puppy. Ordered a non-alcoholic drink for you despite your protest. And then you sat down,

″ I’m sorry. ″ Jing yuan spoke. ″ I have been nothing but a terrible father to you. I was a coward, fleeing from you, fleeing from my mistakes. I convinced myself it was for your sake. I deluded myself until I forgot who I was to you. Forgot my role as your father, gave you cold when you needed warmth. ″ he inhaled, attempting to calm his beating heart. And there he was acting all nervous, he cursed himself out. Where did all that big speech training in front of a mirror go?

Jing yuan could only lay his heart bare. And pray for you to accept him. To forgive your disappointment of a father.

If anyone saw The general of the Luofu trembling in fear right now, they would call him an imposter. For such a strong pillar of the Xianzhou to shake like a wet dog due to his fear of rejection, how sour.

″ When you…″ you gulped, licking your lips and taking in a breath. It will be fine, all will be fine.

″ When you left me to deal with the pain that mother’s leaving gave me, I was furious at you. How could you? I,..I wasn’t even in school yet—But I had to learn to deal with it. I had to seek comfort from a measly blanket. ″ clenching your fist, you tried calming yourself.

″ I was furious. I was ready to never forgive you, to leave you to rot in that same place you left me! ″ slamming your fist down on the table, you ignored the looks you received. Your eyes staring straight at the calm man.

How can he be so calm?, you choked on a sob.

″ But no matter how hard I tried to detest you, to loathe you. I could never bring myself to do it. ″ With your voice breaking, you let it all go. You let it all fall. The walls you had built crumbled leaving behind only dust and debris.

″ Then I left, hoping to find my mother. And I did, ″ Jing yuan’s eyes widened. ″ But she had built herself back up, found herself a nice home. ″ And just as your heart broke, so did the general’s.

″ I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to blame, was I in the wrong? Who was wrong in this entire farce? ″ you rested your forehead on the table, voice barely above a whisper. You wondered if he could hear you.

″ I was tired. I just wanted to go back to simpler times. ″ your body shook as tears fell. You wanted to wail like a child, you wanted to cry as loud as your vocal chords could allow you. To be in the embrace of your parents once more.

You were just a child.

And Jing yuan could see that. His wrongs could never be forgiven,

Jing yuan stood from his chair, kneeled before yours, and hugged you. He gave you the shoulder you needed to cry on, he let you wail, he let you take your anger out on him. To share your burdens and sorrows with him. He knew how heavy they are, he could help you.

″ I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, my dear sweet child. ″

But perhaps, Jing yuan can atone for his sins. Starting with giving you the comfort you sought.

#✎. *. ⋆ writing.#—stellaronhvnters.#hsr x reader #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x y/n #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #jing yuan #hsr jing yan #honkai star rail jing yuan #honkai star rail jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail jing yuan x y/n #honkai star rail jing yuan x you #jing yuan x child reader #jing yuan x gn reader

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azen13 · 8 months ago

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The General's Garden - Chapter One: Spring

CW: Yandere Themes, Stalking

Description: You're just a simple gardener working on improving General Jing Yuan's little garden. Little do you know that the General thinks of you as so much more.

Pairing: Yandere!Jing Yuan x GN!Reader

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

It is a mild spring morning when you first meet General Jing Yuan face to face.

You find him smiling between rows of hedges, posture relaxed and eyes glinting with a hint of curiosity. Months ago, when you had first been hired to help care for and improve the General’s private garden, you had only met one of Jing Yuan’s subordinates. They were quick to tell you that the General, despite his lazy attitude, was meticulous and observant. There wouldn’t be much room for error in tending to the gardens just outside of his home.

So, when you see the General practically appear out of thin air like a ghost, you can’t help but be a little surprised. No matter. Jing Yuan is quick to apologize for frightening you and reassures you that his visit is no bad omen. “I simply wish to enjoy a quiet morning amidst this beautiful scenery,” the man says, lifting a hand to gesture to lines of trellises and flowers. “You have done quite the commendable job taking care of this little garden,” he adds, the corners of his mouth upturned in what can only be described as the barest hints of a smirk; there is no malice in his expression, however. Only curiosity.

“Thank you, General,” you automatically begin, genuinely touched by the flattery.

Jing Yuan is quick to stop you, though, amusement lingering in his expression. “Please, call me Jing Yuan,” he says. “I’ll leave you to care for the flowers in peace,” he adds after a moment, turning away, and walking out of the garden, back in the house.

A peace blankets the gardens as you prune back bushes with a pair of hedge shears, and think about the General. Lazy. Meticulous. Relaxed. Observant. Through it all, though, he seems…lonely. Your home is a small affair, a simple studio apartment with low rent. You can hardly imagine what it must be like to walk through silent hallways every morning, passing closed door after closed door, empty room after empty room.

You brush the thought aside. You still have so many more shrubs and hedges to cut back, and after that in the far corner of the garden, the rose bushes need your attention. You recently planted them in the General’s garden several months ago, and this summer and fall would be their first time blooming.

As you walk off to your next job, battling monstrously misshapen plants in need of some shaping with your pruning, the shadows shift. But unlike the slow, tranquil motions shadows normally move in Jing Yuan’s garden, this shadow moves fast and with an almost calculative nature.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Several days later, you see Jing Yuan again. This time though, he doesn’t appear out of thin air. Instead, you see him as you walk towards a small terrace walled in on three sides by trellises covered in an assortment of plants. Wisteria blankets the roof of the small patio, with ivy and clematis flowers winding themselves on the three walls. In the center of it all rests Jing Yuan, still smiling that small, gentle smile, sitting at a wooden table. In front of him is a single cup of tea, its subtle aroma spreading through the area.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Jing Yuan greets you, “I hope I am not intruding upon your duties.”

You shake your head and wipe your hands on your overalls, dirty from soil and mud and all sorts of other things. “Not at all, General. In fact-” Jing Yuan interrupts you politely. “Again, please call me Jing Yuan. There is no need for formalities with me.” Despite his kind expression and polite tone, there is something behind his words, the weight of a command dressed up to look like a request. After all, Jing Yuan is the General of the Xianzhou Luofu. His very words carry weight that rumble like earth like thunder and split the sky like lightning.

“Alright,” you sigh a little, feeling awkward about referring to Jing Yuan–the most powerful man on the Xianzhou Luofu and your employer–by his real name and not his official title, “I’ll do my best.” Jing Yuan, to your surprise, almost seems pleased, though his constant placid expression still remains set in stone. “I just wanted to say that I hope I’m not intruding upon you,” you explain, walking a few paces a way, and grabbing a spade, along with a pair of gloves. “Not at all,” Jing Yuan answers, the cadence in his words a little quicker, though it’s almost unnoticeable that you wonder if you’re hearing things. “In fact, I was hoping to invite you to take a break with me and come sit down with me,” he says, gesturing to the other chair with its own cup of tea in front of it.

Although you don’t enjoy not doing your duties, you don’t want to offend Jing Yuan by declining his offer, so you nod. “Alright, but only for a few minutes.” Jing Yuan smiles and nods, picking up his cup and taking a sip of tea. From the color and aroma, you mentally note what tea the General seems to be drinking: oolong. But when you sit down and pick your own cup up, you’re met with a surprise.

A cup of chamomile tea rests in your hands.

When you go to sip it, another surprise: it’s quite sweet, the way you take your tea.

The sweetness lingers on your tongue while unease lingers in your heart. From across the table, Jing Yuan’s eyes are perceptive, his eyes almost leonine. But their gaze is not wild. Instead, they are watching intently, waiting for your reaction. His trademark smile, as you’ve come to know it, rests upon his lips.

“I hope the tea is to your liking,” he says quietly, taking a sip of his own cup again, before finally setting the cup down. When you nod, your mind still racing both at breakneck speeds and moving in slow motion, a pleased look seems to cross his eyes. “I wish to know, what pushed you to be a gardener?” He asks.

The question snaps you out of your reverie. It’s a question that has been directed to you many times, by family and friends alike. Your response has not changed in decades, so you shrug and say, “I like plants.” There’s a moment of silence as Jing Yuan processes this, before a soft chuckle escapes his lips.

“I suppose that’s as good of a reason as any,” he muses, his gaze far off. After a moment, it refocuses light concentrated light through a prism, the golden glow in his eyes seemingly brighter. You wonder briefly what things those untarnished pools of molten gold have seen, what murky shadows lie in their depths. But you know that you cannot even fathom to understand what this man has seen, nor what machinations make their movements in his mind, choosing decisions and actions.

Silence returns with its chilling breath, sending goosebumps shivering across your skin. You have a bad feeling. A horrible feeling, really, but you cannot point it out amongst a crowd of reasons, you cannot provide any evidence for what caused it, and you didn’t sleep well last night, so do you really feel horrible? It’s just a bad feeling. Perhaps you should have gotten more sleep, or eaten a heartier breakfast.

Jing Yuan brings you back from your thoughts again, keeping your attention on him. “I was thinking,” he begins, “about giving you a raise. Your work is…” his voice trails off again, eyes boring into your skull, pounding on your head, as though he wishes to card through each of your neurons to understand what makes them fire. And you know he could do it. “Beautiful,” he decides.

You feel a pleasant surprise settle in your bones, shaking off the ominous feeling. “That’s very generous of you, thank you,” you murmur, sipping at your tea again. Sweetness courses down your throat.

The rest of the conversation flows like a calm river, all easy small talk and quiet conversation. Jing Yuan asks you some questions, and you ask some of your own. The unease settles itself away into the shadows of your soul, waiting for a moment to strike again. After a while, Jing Yuan says he has to leave to go to the Seat of Divine Foresight for work, and you bid him well, returning to work.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

That night, you check your phone to find a massive sum of credits in your bank account. You have to pinch yourself to see if you’re dreaming. You’re not.

Outside of your window, almost unnoticeable, two golden eyes glint in the dim moonlight like stars.

You catch more doves with seeds than stones, after all.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere drabble #yandere hsr #yandere imagine #yandere jing yuan #yandere jing yuan x reader #aaaa i've been posting so much yan!jing yuan #honestly i love it though i LOVE jing yuan #i suck at writing longer works but we're trying!!#also posts might be less frequent because i started working a summer job!! but i will keep trying to write as much as i can

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