#yall little shits will be much happier when you're gay married I promise

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Important Addition: I will offhandedly mention to them that I watch Doctor Who, and when Demetri performatively flirts with me about it (as is inevitable), I will look him dead in the eye and say "I'm a lesbian and so was Yasmine."

If they get mad and oust me from table 7, I'll be like "oh, you want me to leave so you can be alone together??? Like a date??? Like a tryst??? Like a homosexual little rendezvous??? Okay, fruits. I'll leave you a couple bananas in case you want to practice anything."

And then they won't be allowed to banish me, or it would be gay.

Choose your Christmas table Cobra Kai edition