#yall know mike has commitment issues and josh has issue issues lmao that's not ending well! 🥴

[lndenmeres]

@shadysidcrs

‘hey, blondie.’ you know her name, of course. it’s impossible not to, when you share a social circle and she’s forever in your peripheral, distracting you. ‘enjoying the party?’ bachelor party, to be specific. you’ve pulled out all the stops: strippers, music, unlimited alcohol, all the substances you could get your hands on -- which is a lot. fucking confetti canons. more strippers for good measure.

you set your drink down on the bar next to liv’s. you’re not sure how many you’ve had -- or how many lines in the bathroom -- but it’s enough to amplify your rivalry. she’s maid of honour; you’re the best man, though technically you are neither of those things. you should be working together, but you’ve turned this into a competition. it’s a competition you’re destined to lose, because liv is a decent person and a decent friend, as fucking tedious as that sounds. and you? you’re here for a good time, not a long time. you’re more likely to set fire to a church than to step foot inside one and say conscious through the ceremony.

‘can’t wait to see what you have planned for your bach party,’ you say. you have to lean in close so she can hear you over the bass. ‘what’s it gonna be? pottery painting? tea and cupcakes?’