#yall are SO safe but SOO truamatized..

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about how protective of his kids Wade would be. Like he does not give a fuck. Logan could be a little bit too harsh and make their child cry, and Wade would unload his gun plus an entire SECOND clip into his gut and then put his foot on his throat, lean in, and be like:

"Don't you EVER talk to my fucking kids like that ever again if you want to stay in this house. You're here because I let you be. I don't need you* I can just as easily replace you** and I sure as hell won't let you treat our children like how we were raised. Do I make myself clear?" And if Logan doesn't agree within a certian amount of time, Wade would just shoot him in the head and walk away.

"....Papa?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"...what happened to daddy?"

"Daddys taking a nap honey. He'll be alright in a couple minutes don't worry baby. Hey are you okay? You know daddy doesn't mean the things he says, right?"

The child nods, wiping tears from their eyes as Wade hugs them and kisses their head. "Daddy wasn't hugged as a kid, that's all. Hey! We should order pizza! Would you like that?"

And they nod softely but are still concerned with the fact that they saw their dad (who by now is sitting up) bleeding out on the floor two seconds ago.

"Oooh, Heeeyyy. Well, mornin' sleepy head! How was your nap. I think you had something to say to you. Don't you, Wolvie?" 😃

"I... uhm... Sorry kiddo.. I- i didnt mean to yell at you like that.."

"Awww! Great! Now we can go to Vinnies as one big happy family! Yaaayy!" 😊

The moral of this story is- Wade Wilson don't play when it comes to his kids.

*lies.

**another lie.

[icarusredwings]

Wade cassually making soup and cutting up carrots when he hears Logan have a slight tone in his voice and Wade turns to him and deliberately stabs the knife tip first into the carrot that not only does the carrot break in half but the knife is stuck in the cutting board now and SUDDENLY logans attitude changes.

"S-sure honey ill play make up with you... you good? Were happy now?"

"Yes. Yes we are." Wade smiles adoringly as he watches his daughter drag the big gruff man away to put purple eyeshadow on him and lip stick thats WAY too bright for his shade as he rips the knife out of the board and continues like nothing happened.

People always joke "Lol my wife would kill me" but Logan says it seriously.

"Look, if I miss this ballet recidle, my wife is going to stab me and burry me in the back yard- MOVE IT"

The cab driver just smiles and goes "Aah a redhead? Fiesty things" and for once in his life he shakes his head and goes "No, blonde." And the driver just goes "A blonde? From jersey? Woof, alright ill get you there ASAP. Hang on-"

Thinking about how protective of his kids Wade would be. Like he does not give a fuck. Logan could be a little bit too harsh and make their child cry, and Wade would unload his gun plus an entire SECOND clip into his gut and then put his foot on his throat, lean in, and be like:

"Don't you EVER talk to my fucking kids like that ever again if you want to stay in this house. You're here because I let you be. I don't need you* I can just as easily replace you** and I sure as hell won't let you treat our children like how we were raised. Do I make myself clear?" And if Logan doesn't agree within a certian amount of time, Wade would just shoot him in the head and walk away.

"....Papa?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"...what happened to daddy?"

"Daddys taking a nap honey. He'll be alright in a couple minutes don't worry baby. Hey are you okay? You know daddy doesn't mean the things he says, right?"

The child nods, wiping tears from their eyes as Wade hugs them and kisses their head. "Daddy wasn't hugged as a kid, that's all. Hey! We should order pizza! Would you like that?"

And they nod softely but are still concerned with the fact that they saw their dad (who by now is sitting up) bleeding out on the floor two seconds ago.

"Oooh, Heeeyyy. Well, mornin' sleepy head! How was your nap. I think you had something to say to you. Don't you, Wolvie?" 😃

"I... uhm... Sorry kiddo.. I- i didnt mean to yell at you like that.."

"Awww! Great! Now we can go to Vinnies as one big happy family! Yaaayy!" 😊

The moral of this story is- Wade Wilson don't play when it comes to his kids.

*lies.

**another lie.

[ramblingautisticman]

Logan tells Laura on one of their little father daughter dates, and Laura just shrugs and mutters "shouldn't be mean to his kid.", and Logan knows that he's fucking screwed now cause Laura is on Wade's side.

Thinking about how protective of his kids Wade would be. Like he does not give a fuck. Logan could be a little bit too harsh and make their child cry, and Wade would unload his gun plus an entire SECOND clip into his gut and then put his foot on his throat, lean in, and be like:

"Don't you EVER talk to my fucking kids like that ever again if you want to stay in this house. You're here because I let you be. I don't need you* I can just as easily replace you** and I sure as hell won't let you treat our children like how we were raised. Do I make myself clear?" And if Logan doesn't agree within a certian amount of time, Wade would just shoot him in the head and walk away.

"....Papa?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"...what happened to daddy?"

"Daddys taking a nap honey. He'll be alright in a couple minutes don't worry baby. Hey are you okay? You know daddy doesn't mean the things he says, right?"

The child nods, wiping tears from their eyes as Wade hugs them and kisses their head. "Daddy wasn't hugged as a kid, that's all. Hey! We should order pizza! Would you like that?"

And they nod softely but are still concerned with the fact that they saw their dad (who by now is sitting up) bleeding out on the floor two seconds ago.

"Oooh, Heeeyyy. Well, mornin' sleepy head! How was your nap. I think you had something to say to you. Don't you, Wolvie?" 😃

"I... uhm... Sorry kiddo.. I- i didnt mean to yell at you like that.."

"Awww! Great! Now we can go to Vinnies as one big happy family! Yaaayy!" 😊

The moral of this story is- Wade Wilson don't play when it comes to his kids.

*lies.

**another lie.

[ramblingautisticman]

It's the idea that, cause Wade is SO FAST when he hears Logan snap at one of the kids, or when one of then start crying for any reason, Logan doesn't even usually get a chance to fix it.

Like, normally, Wade is gonna be there with his gun, comforting their baby while glaring at Logan as he gets shot in the leg so he doesn't "run away".

Logan has to be faster than Wade to try and apoligise to the little one, which is fine! He wants to apoligise and make sure his kid is okay, but Wade makes it impossible half the time.

He usually has to wait for everything to blow over to go and really apoligise.

"Hey, you know how Daddy yelled earlier?"

"..ye.."

"Well, that was because I was worried you hurt yourself, and I got scared. I wasn't angry at you, okay baby? Just didn't want you to be hurt."

"Okay Daddy- but I'm okay! I have a Hello Kitty from Papa! All better!"

"Yep. All better."

And Logan has to just accept that, again, usually Wade is gonna just show up and fix everything even if he can handle it himself.

It's both the sweetest thing ever, and the most annoying thing in the world.

Thinking about how protective of his kids Wade would be. Like he does not give a fuck. Logan could be a little bit too harsh and make their child cry, and Wade would unload his gun plus an entire SECOND clip into his gut and then put his foot on his throat, lean in, and be like:

"Don't you EVER talk to my fucking kids like that ever again if you want to stay in this house. You're here because I let you be. I don't need you* I can just as easily replace you** and I sure as hell won't let you treat our children like how we were raised. Do I make myself clear?" And if Logan doesn't agree within a certian amount of time, Wade would just shoot him in the head and walk away.

"....Papa?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"...what happened to daddy?"

"Daddys taking a nap honey. He'll be alright in a couple minutes don't worry baby. Hey are you okay? You know daddy doesn't mean the things he says, right?"

The child nods, wiping tears from their eyes as Wade hugs them and kisses their head. "Daddy wasn't hugged as a kid, that's all. Hey! We should order pizza! Would you like that?"

And they nod softely but are still concerned with the fact that they saw their dad (who by now is sitting up) bleeding out on the floor two seconds ago.

"Oooh, Heeeyyy. Well, mornin' sleepy head! How was your nap. I think you had something to say to you. Don't you, Wolvie?" 😃

"I... uhm... Sorry kiddo.. I- i didnt mean to yell at you like that.."

"Awww! Great! Now we can go to Vinnies as one big happy family! Yaaayy!" 😊

The moral of this story is- Wade Wilson don't play when it comes to his kids.

*lies.

**another lie.

[icarusredwings]

Oooh hes FUUUCCKKED

Its normal, even common, for Gabs to be on Wades side, shes bassically a mini him, BUT LAURA!?

He's so cooked.

He just starts panicking like "what am I supposed to do!?"

And Laura is like "Maybe stop being a massive dick for starters."

Btw, I know its yucky to think about but I can definitely see Logan snapping at their kids, expecting them to snap back like how Laura and Gabby do, but she has Wade's genetic. She's sensitive. She cries easily and takes everything daddy says straight to the heart because HE'S her personal hero. HE'S her everything. So yes. When her daddy is frustrated with her about reading homework or if her rejection sensitivity is flaring up, and she cries? Logan better fix that shit asap or else Mama bear Wade is coming in the room and he is NOT happy.

Their child would be the type (Or hell, even little Ellie) would be the type to try to 'help' and mess up because of how small they still are. She could he 4 and trying to bring the eggs to daddy because she heard him say he was going to make some for breakfast, only to trip over her own excited little feet and spill them all over the floor. So here she is, covered in raw egg, having just wasted an entire dozen.

"Oops.. I sor-"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?? WHY!?"

And because of Logan's demeanor she would subconsciously get scared, flinch and start sobbing while standing there, ashamed, obviously upset with herself and now holding herself because daddy yelled at her.

And all Logan hears is how quickly Wade's side of the bed shifts and the opening of his side drawer before he drops down and is like

"Oh, no! Shhh shhs shh Im sorry! I didn't mean it baby, daddys tired, shhhh sh sh sh its alright, w-We'll buy more it's fine. Do you wanna come with daddy to come buy more? You cant carry that many sweetheart, okay? Youre okay. Daddy would never hurt you-" while hugging her and trying to help her clean up the eggs.

Then by the time theyre done, he just looks up to see Wade in his bath robe, pistol in hand with that look of 'Yeah you better fucking fix it' narrowed eyes.

"I got it. I got it." Logan tells him, putting his hand up. "We're gonna go buy more. Go back to bed, Love. I got it. Swear."

So Wade lazily walks back to the room with that 'Damn right you better call me love' type of vibe, yawning and crawling back into bed.

He WILL shoot a hoe and has been stopped from shooting Al several times by now.

So Wade

Thinking about how protective of his kids Wade would be. Like he does not give a fuck. Logan could be a little bit too harsh and make their child cry, and Wade would unload his gun plus an entire SECOND clip into his gut and then put his foot on his throat, lean in, and be like:

"Don't you EVER talk to my fucking kids like that ever again if you want to stay in this house. You're here because I let you be. I don't need you* I can just as easily replace you** and I sure as hell won't let you treat our children like how we were raised. Do I make myself clear?" And if Logan doesn't agree within a certian amount of time, Wade would just shoot him in the head and walk away.

"....Papa?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"...what happened to daddy?"

"Daddys taking a nap honey. He'll be alright in a couple minutes don't worry baby. Hey are you okay? You know daddy doesn't mean the things he says, right?"

The child nods, wiping tears from their eyes as Wade hugs them and kisses their head. "Daddy wasn't hugged as a kid, that's all. Hey! We should order pizza! Would you like that?"

And they nod softely but are still concerned with the fact that they saw their dad (who by now is sitting up) bleeding out on the floor two seconds ago.

"Oooh, Heeeyyy. Well, mornin' sleepy head! How was your nap. I think you had something to say to you. Don't you, Wolvie?" 😃

"I... uhm... Sorry kiddo.. I- i didnt mean to yell at you like that.."

"Awww! Great! Now we can go to Vinnies as one big happy family! Yaaayy!" 😊

The moral of this story is- Wade Wilson don't play when it comes to his kids.

*lies.

**another lie.