#ya know fun fact about my writing that y'all prolly dont care about

[from-a-reckless-writer]

so, i want the superfrens taking shifts at sleeping with kara in the tower after rescuing her from the phantom zone. and lena being all skittish and nervous about her shift. 

they had to sedate her and keep her under the sunlamps for about a week. and everyone's tired, yes, but they're not gonna leave kara all alone sleeping in that bed. 

she's been alone long enough. 

and also, there's the issue of nightmares. it was alex who discovered it first. sleeping with kara on her first night back when her little sister suddenly woke up, screaming, shaking and feral. 

so yeah, they can't leave kara all alone. on the third night, it was lena who gets the shift. and she's still not really sure where they stand, but kara hugged her right after getting through the portal, realizing she was finally home and she’s finally saved. so maybe, maybe--lena hopes--they'll be fine. 

of course, lena being lena she would refuse to sleep beside kara on the bed, preferring the chair instead. she's also decided, that tonight she isn't going to sleep. she's going to stay up all night watching over kara. (but kara doesn't need to know that.) kara would kill her if she knew lena had yet again missed another good night’s sleep in favor of taking care of her. 

and so, here they were, lena in her chair with her work tablet propped up. not that she’s doing anything productive done, considering she’s been staring at kara’s sleeping form for about an hour now. she can’t help it. there was something about watching kara slowly breathe that makes lena’s heart beat more calmly. the knowledge that kara is here and alive and breathing and safe, is doing wonders for her heart. she wishes she can touch her hair and press her lips to kara’s temple. 

but then-- 

kara starts to shift and whimper, tears flowing from closed eyes. sleep muffled sounds getting more and more distressed until kara starts to slur, “no, no, please, no, not her, no, stop not her-- away, get away, no stop! please stop!!”

lena is off the chair in an instant, she knows about the nightmares of course, alex had told them. briefed them on how to deal with it. her hand is gently trying to shake her best friend awake, when kara jerks violently, screams, “LENA! NO! STOP NO!” 

lena feels her heart drop. and this time, kara opens her eyes, she jerks away from lena’s hands, breathing hard, eyes wild and full of fear. 

“hey, hey, kara, look at me, i’m here. look at me, i’m here,” she says calmly, trying to meet kara’s eyes. 

“i-im gonna put my arms around you, okay? is that okay? kara, listen to me, i need you to listen to my voice, okay?”

kara tries to nod, still shaking, “okay, okay good, listen to my voice okay? we’re going to breathe together.” lena instructs softly and wraps both arms on shaking shoulders. kara feels so small and fragile in her arms like this. lena’s heart breaks.

“you’re safe, you’re home, i’m here, it was just a dream, breathe with me okay? we’re going to count our breaths okay?”

she wraps around kara tighter and together they try to get kara’s breathing under control. 

after about 15 minutes of lena counting and whispering reassurances, kara’s breathing settles and her tense shoulders sag against lena’s.

she’s fitted herself carefully into kara’s side, heels abandoned on the floor under the medbed. 

“th-thank you, lena.”

she hears kara whisper against her neck, and lena can only squeeze her tighter in response. she doesn’t know how to do this, how to work in the aftermath of that nightmare, namely how to address the fact that kara has nightmares about her apparently. 

it shouldn’t really surprise her all that much, not when lena had the same problem, not when she’s had nightmares about kara for the first two weeks of her disappearance. 

come to think of it, if there’s anybody who can address this properly and relate to kara, it should be her.

but she’s stuck there, arms frozen and tongue silent. 

“do you want to talk about it? would that make you feel better?” she tries, this is what normal people do right? this is the mandatory thing to say?

“i don’t know...”

kara answers shakily. and lena would never push her to talk about something that makes her uncomfortable so she nods and presses a kiss to the crown of kara’s head.

“okay, okay, would you like to try to sleep again?”

“uhm uh yes, but lena-”

kara trails off and lena waits but two beats pass and kara remains silent so lena forces herself to ask.

“but??? what is it, kara? you can tell me.”

“can you- will you stay here? with me? in the bed? i just- you don’t have to it’s stupid-”

“okay.” lena answers softly, “it’s not stupid, of course i’ll stay with you here. i care about you, kara. of course i’ll stay.”

and that’s the closest she can get to admitting her own feelings. 

kara lets her go after that and they try to fit themselves in the single bed. trying to find a position comfortable enough for the both of them without lena falling off the side of the bed.

in the end they settle with kara’s head on her chest--whispering that lena’s heartbeat helps--and lena’s arms holding her safely.

“i- they were going to take you away- in the dream, i mean.”

“kara, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to-” lena is quick to assure, she really doesn’t need to hear it not if it would only stress kara further. 

“no, m’want to,” kara insists, “need to,” she clarifies. 

“okay, okay, tell me.”

lena feels kara take another shaky breath in preparation

“it’s always the same,” she begins, words trembling.

“you come for me in the phantom zone and then and then they attack you and i’m always powerless to stop it and-” kara chokes up and lena feels her tears soak through her shirt and unto her skin. it feels like her tears are dripping down straight into lena’s heart and drowning it. 

“shh, i’m here, i’m here, kara. they didn’t take me away, i’m safe.” she whispers and squeezes kara, they’re pressed up against each other but lena feels like it’s not enough. wants to mould herself even closer to kara, bind their very molecules together if she could. 

“i’m so scared, lena. always so scared. that i wasn’t going to see you again. that i was going to lose you. i can’t lose you, lena. i can’t not you, please. not you.”

the confession hits lena so hard and it makes her want to say the same. me too, i’m scared too, kara. always so fucking scared that i’m not gonna see you again and i didn’t even tell you i love you. 

“you won’t lose me. you’re never going to lose me,” she says instead and she feels kara sniffle against her. 

“promise?”

“i promise.”