#y'all: do they have an issue with harboring guilt over things they might not have been able to control

[tvrningout-archived]

time to talk about why it took a while for paige and her mom to settle down! tw for death mention of a parental figure, guilt over said death, and general angst!

the decision to settle down somewhere for paige to study at a college was something of a struggle. mrs. sanders became focused on hunting down her husband’s killer, then with maintaining order among the supernatural and those unaware; paige never spoke up about what she wanted, and it never occurred to her mother that her daughter’s wants might be different from her own. she was more concerned with keeping paige safe, even if it seemed the opposite when they'd confront some nasty individuals. better they confront them together rather than paige run into them alone one day, right? 

and there always seemed to be an excuse to put off the discussion, whether it was a new threat or supposed bad timing. in truth, paige felt guilty about wanting to do something for herself, like it was wrong to move on despite the YEARS she and her mother spent searching and fighting. she still feels guilty about it, even if she knows her father would want her to move on, go to school, have a life. after all, her parents originally wanted to get away from the dangerous part of the supernatural community -- the part she and her mother had been neck deep into.

but paige has never stopped blaming herself for her father’s death. her mother never blamed her, has made that abundantly clear, and yet!! paige can’t get past it!! and it holds her back, keeps her from making any real decisions about her future. though she won’t say it out loud, paige isn’t entirely sure she deserves to have a life when her father didn’t get to have his.

paige would be hard-pressed to talk about this stuff bc talking about her feelings? very not rad, very icky! but someone needs to knock some sense into her noggin pls and thanks <3