#y/n: do you have human genitals when you're in this form?

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Okay but like...marine biologist MC who's two fave sea animals are eels (any kind) and octopi, and when it's cephalopod week they just barge into Monstro Lounge to tackle Azul and yell 'HAPPY WEEK OF THE CEPHALOPODS' as if it's his birthday and he's just confused af because wha??? Also although kinda invasive she asks questions about if they can do this or that (fun fact; octopi have detachable dicks) she's basically like Hange is to titans

I really like this idea bc it gives me an excuse to show you all my silly little merfolk anatomy headcanons :)

No real plot, just y/n being accidentally annoying.

Warning(s): fem reader, invasive questions

It was a calm afternoon.

It was October 8th, and all was well.

All was well... until you kicked open the doors to the Mostro Lounge and ran as fast as you could towards Azul, who yelled out in absolute terror when he saw you running towards him.

"HAPPY CEPHALOPOD AWARENESS WEEK!!" You yelled, tackling him to the ground.

"Happy.... what?"

"Cephalopod awareness week!" You responded. "You're a cephalopod, right? This is your week!"

"...what are you talking about, (Y/N)?"

You see, you were a marine biologist back in your world. And your favourite animals were eels and octopi.

You enjoy learning about sea creatures of any kind, but especially eels and octopi... and well, now that you know three merfolk- who are literally half marine life- you need to know everything about them.

"So, you and the Leech twins are of the same species, right?" You asked, prying his lips apart with your fingers to get a look at his teeth. "So why are their teeth sharp while yours look more like a human's?"

"Get off me please."

You got up and off of Azul, who also stood up and dusted off his clothes.

"I suppose I'll answer a question." Azul said.

"So are there different species of merfolk? And I don't just mean different bottom halves, I mean like... different classifications!"

"Yes, there are. I myself am what's known as a cecaelia." He explained. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to-"

"Is your blood blue?" You asked.

"...what...?"

"Octopi have copper-based blood, as opposed to human's iron-based blood, which makes octopus blood blue rather than red! So is your blood blue?" You excitedly asked.

"(Y/N), as I said, I have to get back to-"

"Can you regrow your limbs?"

"Arms and tentacles, yes. Now, I really-"

"Do you have bones when in your mer form?"

"Yes but I have none from the waist down. (Y/N) I have to-"

"Do you have a hectoctylus?"

"W-we don't need to talk about that right now." He said, blushing and looking away.

"Heyyyy Azuuuuuuul~!"

"Ah Floyd thank the Seven you're here. Azul sighed. "Please entertain (Y/N) while I manage the Lounge."

"What?"

"Good luck!" Azul said, running off.

...

"So do you have pharyngeal jaws?" You asked, looking upwards at Floyd.

"Pharyngeal-? Like, in my throat?" He asked. "I mean yeah, I do, but I don't see how that's-"

"Why did merfolk evolve the way they did? You're clearly sea creatures, but your top half looks like a human. Why is that?"

"Well, I think there are two theories... it's either that we used to be humans that evolved to live in the sea but like, that's hiiiiiiiighly debated. The other theory's that we evolved to look like this to trick humans into throwing themselves into the sea... so uh... why're you asking this?"

"Were you transparent when you were born?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Are you bioluminescent?"

"Yep."

"How poisonous is your blood?"

"How am I supposed to know that????"

"Can you unhinge your jaw?"

"Yeah. But you know, it's kind of a-"

"Can you show me!!?"

"I mean... I guess I don't see why not..."

"Floyd! This is a family friendly café! This is no place for initiating a mating ritual!" Jade said, hands on his hips.

"I wasn't tryna initiate anything! (Y/N) just asked me to show 'er how I can unhinge my jaw!"

"It's still quite inappropriate."

"Welp. I'll take this as my chance to skedaddle. She's your problem now, Jade."

"Excuse me-?"

"Bye-bye~!"

Floyd ran off much like Azul did earlier.

"Does Azul have a beak?"

"I... what? Why would you want to know that?"

"Do you swallow prey whole?"

"Yes, but (Y/N), I-"

"Is there a food chain with merfolk? Like, do merfolk eat each other?"

"Quite unfortunately, yes. But you should really-"

"Can I get a look at your pharyngeal jaws?!!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Oh wow (Y/N) would you look at the time? The Lounge is about to close! Please feel free to come tomorrow and actually buy something!"

Jade pushed you out the front door.

"Should we just ban her from entering the Lounge?" Azul asked.

"I mean, we tried that with Rook and it didn't help. At all." Floyd said.

"Maybe we should just bite the bullet and let this happen." Jade suggested.

The three sighed.

Oh well. At least they know about this apparent "cephalopod awareness week" now, and can hold some kind of event at the Lounge and make more money. Yay.