#wtf you gotta fix that go enter the Church and fix that and find out why and if you don't im gonna be sooooo annoying about it

[raspberry-gloaming]

Having existing worldbuilding of your oc world and characters is great and all but then you realise you can't write the story you want to without one of the main characters being a child of 8 or younger, which sucks balls because you don't WANT to write about/from a child's perspective right now. But you would have to because the religious institutionalised framework within the worldbuilding of your fictional country exists in such away that this character would have to have a formal education and access to certain archives in order to complete a good section of the plot, and not have access to this at the beginning of the story, but in order to even have a formal education the character would have to enter the religious order and framework as an 8 year old.

So to be pre-that they would have to be a small child with only a current informal education because the Church in your fictional world is incredibly tied to the state and any job that requires a formal education is held by someone who also entered the Church age 8. You wanna be a doctor? Congrats, first you need to go to priest school, and if you decide you want to do that too late, welp sucks to be you I guess, because we get these kids in the system YOUNG.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW10

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

FRIDAY DEADLINE!!!

And if you missed it for subscribers Friday (Thursday) My Life episode came out yesterday !

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Otamendi and Saka

IN: Kelly and Hudson-Odoi

After talking myself around in circles on the My Life pod yesterday I decided to return from whence I came going with my initial feels for transfers.

Otamendi is obviously diabolical and is not a man to be trusted as if he ever was. Schtoneyboy off the bench as first CB sub this weekend was telling for me, and even with Rodri ded for a bit it leaves us no more sure of the CB situation there than we had before.

Saka is a good lad and he seems like a really nice human bean but after blanking for fun I am discarding him like a used something or other.

In comes one of my all time favorites Martin Kelly and new little baby child CHO.

Kelly I think might just have the CB job from now on next to Mom as first choice pairing - he's actually been good this year somehow. I also don't really need him/the spot at all for the near term. Seemed like the best least painful way to pry some money out of the couch cushions and make a significant upgrade in the xi all the while.

CHO seems like just a good pick at 6m. Couldn't find the final ball against Ayax midweek but he's got a lot about him and he seems like he could be a good long term pick. I am worried about him starting this weekend after rattling off back to back 90s, but if I did something more passive and waited I would have been priced out. Getting him ahead of Turf Moor also feels a bit poopy, but again, keeping my eye on the long term like I have been doing his season with transfers so far and it's been feeling good to me.

GK:

Pope (CHE)

Pope in a bad fixture even tho they've been great at home so far.

Not expecting much here...and if I'm honest 3 cleans through 9 is about the minimum of what I would have expected out of them to date. I'll take it...but I'm not thrilled about it.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (TOT)

Trent and Robbo remain like the faithful servants they are.

Tough fixture against the potatoheads on Sunday but the OOP boys can always pop up with points any given weekend.

Love them and one of my greatest successes this season has been to hold both from GW1. With Alisson back I suspect everyone will be trying to get both in very soon with their fixtures turning.

Lundstram (whu)

Pointstram gets in there as my third lad. Fucking legend god Lundcuck just such a good guy. Pretty unreal how he's been going this season so far. And they said we wouldn't have a 1b in the game this season.

MID:

Salah (TOT) and Sterling and De Bruyne (AVL)

Mo Raz and Kevin the three amigos go again. Not much to say about dem boyz. Good picks solid pillars in my squad straight down the spine.

City team sheet always a bit of a mindfuck but meh. Can't drop points in the league so hoping for actual first choice even though I'm sure we'll get Bilv Jezuz Mahrez up top. Life.

As shouted a lot on the My Life pod Mo could be in for a big weekend. He's never been more of a diff than he is right now so a haul would be most welcome. Go on Mo.

Hudson-Odoi and Mount (bur)

Rounding out the midfield is new friend CHO and his possible actual IRL friend Mount. Couple Chelsea guys in mid feels great.

Have had Mount for a bit and adding CHO oozes value to me. Buying players who are priced like they are on a 14th place team but they are covert on the 3rd best team with the 3rd best attack in the league seems good.

Again, not expecting a ton this weekend but looking at the medium term points should flow.

FWD:

Pukki (MUN)

Still holding / clinging to Pukki. Was close to going down to Neil who I do love immensely but it just didn't seem like a great use of the transfer. I still believe in Pukki and I think he's just a quality guy.

Four blanks on the bounce have been a tough pill to swallow no doubt but I still think he'll get points. Stats have been down compared to the opening few games when he was on fire, but his stats aren't horrible by any stretch. Anyway, I'm holding him. Fucking come on you Finn fuck.

Abraham (bur)

Treble on Chelsea attack with Tammy is the last piece of my puzzle.

Up against two really bad shitty CBs this weekend I actually think Tam could do some things. Feel like his movement will be too much for them to deal with it will just come down to if he is able to finish.

CAP:

Sterling (AVL)

I just couldn't keep the sadist in me quiet and I've done the thing of end of week cap twist onto Raz.

I did that gut check - if Raz fired this weekend and I had cap on Kev I would be completely despondent and probably would be crying actual tears. I don't want that. If Kevin fires and I have cap Raz I wouldn't feel the same things. Emotional and pain management in...

If that isn't the right way to pick cap and guide me then I don't know what is. I did genuinely spend a couple of hours contemplating Mo for cap but in the end it just seemed too insane. That's that. Raz you fuckboi score some goals this weekend you owe me.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Cantwell

IN: Hudson-Odoi

I had to listen back to wtf we talked about on Friday My Life episode because I legitimately couldn’t remember what conclusion we came to regarding my moves... The temptation to take a hit for a triple move of Aubz/Gunn/Cantwell out is soooo fucking real but it is probably better to just hold my horses one more week and go into next week with two frees while fixing a big problem in my fourth mid slot.

Enter CHO who could sneaky just be a really great assist/BAP machine guy.

Floating the other transfer to deal with probably Gunn and Aubz next week.

Just hoping CHO starts this weekend...

GK:

Gunn (LEI)

This just makes me sad.

Leicester don’t even shoot in bulk so there’s not even that save-point potential in this. It’s just gonna be another 0-2 pointer as per usual.

DEF:

Just noticing now that all my defenders are away this week which I fucking hate and is really bad.

Lundstram (whu)

Lundy is such a good boy. This fixture isn’t terrific but it’s cleanable and SHU have been a well drilled and well coached tight ship you gotta just back’em.

Tomori (bur)

Chelsea I do not expect to keep a clean here with Burnley now just good at attacking. Feel like this could be a high-scoring one if Tammy/Wood finish their chances.

Rudiger back soon and hopefully Kante back soon will make this team much tighter.

Söyüncü (sou)

I feel worried about Leicester defense...

They were reeeally tight and putting up fantastic numbers when they were in their conservative shell formation but I’m worried that Brodge is not getting the balance right in the “more open and attacking” formations and styles that they’re playing now in the good fixtures...

It’s a delicate balance to go from extreme to extreme and honestly it might not be possible (and maybe that’s why none of the top managers in the world really do that).

We’ll see.

MID:

Salah (TOT)

He’s gonna shred these.

Sterling and De Bruyne (AVL)

They’re gonna shred these.

Hudson-Odoi (bur)

Mainly just praying he starts and then take it from there... This is the type of match where he’ll need to be the main creator mainly by taking people on constantly maybe drawing PEN15s and everything. Gonna be great come on Frank don’t fuck around get the boy in there.

FWD:

Aubameyang (CRY)

Ugh. Fucking ugh. Back to back seasons I trust Gilligan on his nightmare Arsenal Island and he fucks me.

I’m expecting maybe 2 shots and another blank? Anything better then that is just a cherry on top. Won’t even be happy if he hauls I honestly will not.

Abraham (bur)

Tammy is excellent. Keep it up Tamela.

Pukki (MUN)

This is a disaster? Or this is fine dog in the house on fire? Or this is actually fine and Pukki is just good going through a dry spell? Don’t know. The returns are always darkest before the dongs as they say.

CAP:

Sterling (AVL)

Sticking with my initial read and gut of the situation when I put the armband on him on like Sunday.

Villa love conceding chances from the right, Fred Gilbert can’t defend, I’m just rolling with the player in crazy red-hot form and looking extremely good on eye-test too.

It seems good to do when all of the things that we look for all line up to just not overthink it and go for it. Fuck it. Come on Raz.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: DESERTBUG

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Perfectly fine week to do this sneak preview thing because it's early in the season and the other Slackers who are in my minileague (three of them) are either likely to miss out on an early Friday deadline or they've been so absent from Slack lately that they won't even notice I did this.

Anyway, I don't care if they know what I'm doing this week because I'm not doing anything.  The team is in decent shape to roll out eleven this week in an old-school 4-4-2 as I had already ripped the Bandaid off of the lesions named Otamendi, Puke-y and Haller who had been in my team.

They've all been shipped off to Gunga Galunga Land over the prior weeks and I'm a happier lad for having done it.  I've still got qualms over Little Toddy Cantwell and a few other niggly little issues, but I'm in a good spot to sit tight and get more info from another week's worth of EPL action.

GK:

Pope (CHE)

The Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the Vatican City State and Servant of the servants of God (or so Wikipedia says) gets to go this week and every week, because his backup plays for Swansea City.

With that many names, it seems like the whole lot of them should clog up the goalmouth and keep clean against Chelsea, or at least so I can hope.  Saves points at least?

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold (TOT)

Here's hoping that Trento recovers from his Ebola or whatever kind of virus he got yellow-flagged over.  Would be really nice if these clubs could get their players to mix in a little bit of hand-washing in their daily routines.  Could see some nice points from the lad if Spurs' recent ineptitudes continue.

Tomori (bur)

Auto-start given my other options, and could be a dud, because Burnley has managed their way into a goal or more in eight of their first nine matches (only Pool has kept them out so far), but that kind of worm-eating magic has to come to an end sometime.

Soyuncu (sot)

Umlaut-master goes in another match that doesn't exactly feel great, as Soton has only been kept out once this season, but Foxes are good and maybe this will be the GW that he puts his giant cranium on a floater and buries it for me.

Lundstram (whu)

Yup, another road start from my defenders, which feels bad, cuz Hammers could totally put it together at any time and leave me with a one-pointer, or they could continue to disappoint and Points-Lord Lundy of Stram could produce the goods again.

Definitely worth rolling the dice and I don't really have any other good options so there you go.  I'm certainly not going to put Fred Guilbert from Iowa into the lineup for his match at City.

MID:

Salah (TOT), Sterling and DeBruyne (AVL)

This has got to be the week that this trio of big hitters starts hitting big with their big whatevers.  RIght?  RIght?

Yeah, Pep-Roulette can always strike but whatever, I'm not gonna lose even a moment of time worrying about it.  Time to "Laissez les bons temps rouler", as they say down in the Big Easy.  Beignets and coffee would be an awesome accompaniment to the 0430 wake-up I'll have for the City match, but I doubt anybody is going to be fetching them for me.  Pout.

Mount (bur)

Picks himself, given my options, but if anybody's going to mess up my keeper clean, let it be Fat Frank's chosen one.

FWD:

Aubameyang (CRY)

Everybody agonizing over him because they brought him in just in time for his two blanks, but I'm just going to focus on his 39 goals and 9 assists in 58 EPL matches, his 9 goals in 14 Europa matches as a Gooner, (57 returns in 72 matches overall, btw), and his prior 112 returns in 127 matches with Dortmund and remember that he's just an absolute top-drawer striker.

Bring on the AubameDancing!

Ayew (ars)

Brother of Andre gets the nod in my eleventh slot because Arse gonna Arse, and they've conceded in seven of nine matches so far.

I like his chances of doing something better than the probable three point ceiling that I would get from trotting Todd out there against a desperate United side that has a quality defense.

CAP:

DeBruyne (AVL)

Yup, I saw RazzyMan put three past the Atalantans on Tuesday with assists on the other two Citeh goals, and that would be a cap haul of 26x2=52 if he did that in an EPL outing, but my nickel says he doesn't do that in back-to-back outings and I like a Kev who should have hauled last week and who only went 60 minutes in that Champs League match midweek.

C'mon Kev, do this for me!  Lead the lads to a century score!  The FPL drought of GW8-9 has to come to an end at some point, right?