#written in the hope that soon i'll heal strong enough to reach out on my own. to pursue

[veshiker]

i had to get out from under our parents' roof before i shattered, but i wish every day that i knew then how to reach out to you, little brother. i wish i knew then how to do anything but hide. the only solace i find is in knowing that because i was always the target, you never had to be.

if every hour of what they did to me meant a minute less of the same for you, it was worth it. i love you so much. and for the both of us, i hope you had a happier childhood. i don't remember much of mine.

comments from tiktok about siblings

[come-away-with-me87]

All I Need Chapter 13

Chapter 12 here

******

Warnings: Angst. I choked up writing this chapter as well, ugh.

******

Not bothering to change out of your clothes you wore that day, you took the envelope, left your dorm, and ran down the hallway to Toshinori's dorm, hoping he was there.  What you did miss as you were running was Shouta sticking his head out of his door, looking behind you as you ran.  You suddenly felt like you were being watched, so you stopped mid-run, and turned around to look and see if anyone was behind you.  But no one was there, and all of the staff dorms' doors were closed.  Weird.  You picked the pace back up, and ran to Toshinori's dorm.  When you arrived, you practically pounded on his door, praying to whoever was out there that he was home.

Luck was on your side; you heard footsteps shuffling their way towards the door, and a bewildered looking Toshinori opened his door just enough to see who was there.  Once he saw it was you, he opened the door all the way, "Y/N!  I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon.  Is everything okay?"  All you did was hold up the envelope for him to look at.  He did look at it, and his face fell; he recognized the handwriting.  "I see," was all he said.  He then motioned for you to come inside, and closed the door behind you.  "Please, sit down, and make yourself at home.  I have training with young Midoriya in a bit.  Let me text him to let him know I'll be running late."  You looked up at Toshinori, "I really appreciate this, Toshinori.  I just...couldn't do this alone."  He looked at you thoughtfully, "I understand, Y/N, I'm here for you, and I'm glad you came to me."

He left the room for a moment, presumably to text Izuku, and returned about a minute later, and sat down on the couch next to you.  You both sat there in silence for a few moments, until he gently asked you, "how would you like to do this, Y/N?"  You thought about it for a moment, and handed him the envelope.  "Can you read it out loud to me?  I don't think I can bear to read it without bawling my eyes out, seeing his handwriting.  It even smells like him."  Toshinori just nodded, and took the envelope out of your shaky hands.  "It's okay, Y/N.  I got you."  You looked up at him and mustered as much of a smile as you could.  "Thank you.  Go ahead."

He gently tore the envelope open, opened its contents, scanned it over with his eyes, "it's a letter written to you."  You already started tearing up, but you tried to stay strong.  "I see.  Please, read it to me."  Toshinori then proceeded to read the letter to you:

My love,

If you are reading this, that means that I have, sadly, met my demise in the mission to save little Eri.  That said, I am hoping this letter never has to touch your beautiful hands.  If it does end up reaching you, I am so sorry.

I am writing this to you to let you know that you are the best part of my life.  Before I met you, I lived a dreary existence, and just saw the world in black and white.  When I first met you, it was like I started seeing the color and light in the world again.

You are the reason I started seeing joy and laughter in the world again, and lived by that motto until the very end.  You, my dear, are the absolute love and light of my life.

Again, if you are reading this, this means I am no longer here with you, and I am so incredibly sorry for that.  Please know I love you and thought of you until the very end.

That said, I want you to make me a promise: promise me you will live your life and not mourn for me.  I want you to continue my legacy of bringing joy and laughter to the world, to make a brighter future for those lives you touch.

I also want you to promise me that you will, when you're ready, move on and meet someone else. I don't want you to be alone.  Please meet someone, fall in love again, and make a beautiful life for yourself.  You deserve the world.

I leave you with this quote: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal."  Even though I am no longer here, nothing could ever take our memories of one another.  

I will see you again one day. Until then, be happy and have a bright future.

Forever yours,

Mirai

******

To be continued!