#write what you know. and what i know is that the moomins still really unsettle me and it's a lot funnier to do this with a frog fairytale

[itwoodbeprefect]

For the WIP ..... oh all of them sound so good 👀👀 but how abouts McDanno Ace soulmate AU aaaaaaand Buck/Eddie leapfrog! I'm so intrigued by these descriptors :3

hiiiii. :D

Ace soulmate AU

for full disclosure, this is (in writing terms) pretty old, and it might get scrapped and rewritten for an entirely different fandom if i ever run into one for which it fits well, but it’s still hanging in there as is for now because. well, soulmate AUs mostly aren’t my cup of tea, but sometimes i think about the way they’re often executed by just kind of dropping soulmate marks into essentially the world we already have, and the vaguely horror-ish experience that could be from an asexual (or aromantic!) perspective. oh, you’re not even a latebloomer, you’re just really romantic and Waiting For The One! then it will all say click, and suddenly the whole idea of attraction will magically make sense! that kind of thing, but suddenly supercharged by the fact that there actually IS such a thing as a soulmate.

(but then there’s probably also, internally, that niggling doubt - what if meeting your soulmate doesn’t make it say click? what if it still doesn’t make sense? what if you meet your soulmate and they naturally expect things that everyone seems to expect from their soulmate but that you don’t want to give them, can’t give them, won’t be giving them - what if there’s this One Perfect Person for you, but it turns out you’re too broken to make it work? essentially i think that any universe with our current (deep lack of) societal awareness of asexuality/aromanticism But Add In Soulmarks would be. probably worse. that would probably really fuck certain people up Even More.)

so, with all of that set up, the idea here is pretty much to explore all of that, but with the twist that both parts of this soulmate couple are struggling with the same thing. so steve and danny meet in steve’s dad’s garage, like in canon (again, this is kind of old writing):

Danny enters the house completely unsuspecting. When he hears noises from the garage he shifts into high alert, but that still doesn’t prepare him for what happens next – it’s a blur, they yell at each other over their guns and suddenly something is burning in the crook of Danny’s right elbow, and for a dizzying moment he thinks he’s been shot, even though that’s happened to him before and it’s never been anything like this.

Then he realizes why a pain in that spot makes his heart beat faster, and he sees the other guy’s face twist and his jaw clench even while his aim never wavers, and Danny knows.

Everyone wants to meet their soulmate. By all rights, he should be thrilled. Mostly he feels so nauseous he might throw up, and absolutely determined not to show any of it.

Gripping his weapon tight, he stares down the barrel still pointed at him. This is ridiculous. “Put your gun down,”  he snaps. “It’s not like we’re going to shoot each other now.”

The guy that claims to be Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett just frowns deeper. “You put your gun down. How do I know my soulmate isn’t part of some gang? How do I know you didn’t kill my father?”

he figures out danny didn’t kill his dad pretty soon, of course. and then solving the case goes very quickly, they work together really well, they DO click (just not like that), danny has very conflicted feelings about it and he still hits steve for being an asshole (but even that is just a bonding moment, really, because they’re them). after the case, the governor is like, you guys should take a few days off and get to know each other, wink wink nudge nudge, so they do take those days off, both of them with a heavy heart about how this will play out, and neither of them wants to be someone who meets their soulmate only to immediately reject them, so they keep awkwardly shuffling towards what they think is supposed to happen here, and then finding ways to distract themselves for another five minutes:

“Do you want to...” Steve says, and his sentence trails off suggestively. It’s a surprise when he finishes it at all, and it’s a bigger surprise when he says, “Have a drink?”

“It’s two in the afternoon.” Danny squints at Steve’s perfect Navy man outside. “Are you a functioning alcoholic?” That’d be just his luck.

“Coffee,” Steve says, hastily. “Coffee is a drink. You like coffee, right?”

Danny trails Steve while Steve hurries into the kitchen. “If this relationship is going to work, you can’t ask me that ever again. Do I like coffee? Like that’s a question where no is a viable answer.”

Steve, working a coffee machine that thankfully looks fairly decent, doesn’t seem cowed by Danny’s bluster. The opposite – he grins. It’s sudden and amused and goddamn breathtaking, shit. “You’re such an asshole,” he says. He sounds a little bit delighted.

“Glad I amuse you,” Danny snipes back, even though he is, in fact, glad.

and then at some point they finally figure each other out, and all that heavy weight hanging over them drops away, and they can actually be glad to have found each other without any caveats. when they eventually get back to work and get the inevitable “you look like you didn’t get much sleep ;)” comments, it’s true, they really didn’t, but it’s because danny was teaching steve how to make pasta from scratch in the middle of the night.

-

Leapfrog

this one is just a little fluffy domestic thing! i haven’t fully decided if this is established relationship or they’re still very oblivious, but eddie is cleaning up the kitchen when buck returns from reading chris a bedtime story, and buck goes “would you still love me if i was a frog?” and understandably eddie is pretty ??? about this at first:

“Are you aware you’re not making any sense?”

“It just seems really horrible to me, having a witch turn you into a frog. Not because of, like, having to eat flies-”

“Oh no, of course not,” Eddie agrees, because apparently they’re pretending this is a serious topic.

Buck gives him a look that says he knows what Eddie is doing, and he doesn’t appreciate it. “C’mon, man, I just mean- Something that’s totally out of your control happens and suddenly none of your friends or family recognize you. You sit there, and you’re trying to tell them who you are, but you can’t make them understand. Doesn’t that scare you?”

The answer is not really, because it’s too obviously a fantasy children’s story for Eddie to be able to take it that heavily, but something still says click. It’s probably the Eddie feels like a fool switch. “It scares you, huh?”

“To death,” Buck admits. “Why would anyone even put that in a book meant to be read before sleep? What if Chris has a nightmare?”

Eddie feels a little tug on his heartstrings - the ones that tell him hey, Buck adores your kid. “He’ll be fine.”

and then it’s just. [more fluff here].

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount​ for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat 

I am tagging @isabellaofparma​ , @the-cloud-whisperer​ and @sassyassassy​!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them). 

In no specific order under the cut: 

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien. 

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades).  Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan 

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet.  I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them.  I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES. 

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB. 

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed).  Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’  performance in that movie.  From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that).  Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP. 

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies -  but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others.  Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal).  What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures. 

Isak Valtersen 

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing.  I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh. 

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future. 

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew. 

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter 

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me. 

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us. 

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian 

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the  over 70k i wrote for them.  I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them.  + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad. 

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol.