#would've stuck a little more firmly in his head hahaha

[pigeonfancier]

The male bias in my family is sometimes subtle, and sometimes not! Sort of grimly amused by the fact that - my cousin's young son has gotten diagnosed with the same fainting issues I have! Maybe caused by long covid, maybe caused by genetics, who knows. I told my father about this the other night. He was a little surprised!

Then he said: "- oh, right, I forgot! I decided to bring my fitness watch to work, since we're climbing the eight flights every day, and the guy I'm working with did too! And my heart rate was only 111BPM when we got to the top, and his was only 135BPM.. which means that your 170 shit really is super fucking high, huh?"

Reminder, this has been going on since fucking April.

I do enjoy the rare bouts of acknowledgement of the fact my parents are somewhat aware the from-birth cardiac issues are still a thing! You'd think the extensive cardiology bills from my childhood would have stuck, but lol.

[the-wrath-of-dragons]

Double Solo: Do What You Gotta Do

Zevon had said there were issues with who he'd brought along. He'd also said it wasn't his place to get between them.

But whoever he'd brought, Crystal certainly didn't expect her.

[[MORE]]

And now, there she was, standing with the worst enemy of half her family gang, pretending not to be cold, staring at the gate outside the Plutonian Villa. Wonderful.

"What makes you so sure this will work?" Crystal asked, crossing her arms and looking up at the sign. "Hades doesn't exactly deal well with people. You know what he's done with his own daughter."

"Just trust me," Mal said. She swallowed thickly. "He'll give it to me. I just need you to distract him."

"Whatever. But you know, it's not exactly him giving it to you if my job is to distract him so you can get it." Crystal pushed the gate open. The two made their way to the villa in silence, but Crystal glanced at Mal more than once, spotting the anxiety behind her eyes but not saying anything.

Mal opened the door as quietly as she could, her hands shaking. She peeked around the corner. "I don't see anyone... or any hounds..." She waved Crystal in, keeping an eye out.

"I swear, if I get attacked by a helhound, I'm haunting your ass for eternity."

"You won't get attacked by one if you stop talking."

Crystal put her hands up, rolling her eyes. She followed Mal down the hall in silence.

Mal quietly pointed to Hades, who seemed to be asleep on a chair. Crystal nodded. The girls slowly made their journey down the stairs into the room. The Fae snuck around the back of the chair.

"What are you doing here?" Hades asked groggily, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses.

The girls tensed, but Hades lifted his head to look at Crystal, who stood at the middle of the staircase. She chuckled.

"Just came to scope out Dad's competition. Looks like the old man is napping on the job."

Mal creeped along, reaching out to grab the blue jewel sitting on the table near him.

Hades moved - fast - and grabbed her wrist. He turned to the purple haired teen with a sigh.

Fuckfuckfuck. Mal shivered, taking a breath.

"Hi, Dad."

Hades pulled down his sunglasses, waving at Mal.

Crystal's jaw dropped. "Ex... cuse me?"

"What are you doing here, Mal?" Hades sighed.

"I... I need my jewel," Mal said slowly.

"Oh, this jewel?" Hades said, picking it up and twirling it between his fingers. "It's very nice. Very nice. And you need it?"

"Yes," Mal grumbled. Her frustration was growing very quickly, but she had to control it. She couldn't fight him and win, and she knew it. "If I don't get that, I won't be able to help reverse this curse."

Hades leaned back on his seat, humming. "The curse that princess put on Auradon, you mean?"

"Yes."

"Hang on, I'm still not following," Crystal interrupted. She pointed at the two of them. "You're family?"

"More or less," Hades said.

"Less," Mal hissed. "He had a one night stand with my mom while Persephone was away for the seasons. Nine months later, yours truly was born."

Crystal blinked, sitting down. "I think I'm going to have an aneurysm..."

"Back to the point at hand," Hades said. He sat up, tossing the jewel into a metal candleholder nearby. He stood and cracked his knuckles. "Now, your mother is not an easy person to get along with."

"Oh, you think?" Mal scoffed.

"Ah, you see, we have something in common already," he said. "We both hate your mother."

"No," Mal said firmly, scowling at him. "I don't hate my mother. She may be an evil lunatic, but at least she stuck around."

Hades fake pouted. "Oh, boohoo. Wake up and smell the stink. You think you've had it rough? I used to be a GOD!" He walked away from her, reminiscing. "I had an entire world before me. And now I have nothing!" He turned to face her. "And you have no idea what that feels like."

"REALLY?! Because for SIXTEEN YEARS I had nothing!" Mal paused. "And now I have a whole world... But unless I get that jewel, its game over."

Hades hummed. "Hold please." He kicked a record player, a song turning on.

"Oh here we go."

"Listen, little girl.

You're talking to a God,

And I don't wanna hear the drama.

Kindness ain't my brand-"

"Oh, I guess that's why you ran!"

"Try being eaten by your father."

"You stink at being a dad."

"Poor Mali, are you sad?"

"Not as sad as you without your powers.

I didn't come to fight.

For once, do something right!"

"I steal souls, were you expecting flowers?"

"I only need you 'cause I came here for something."

"I've given you everything, by giving you nothing.

I did what I had to do."

"No, you only did what's best for you!"

"Well, you could learn a thing or two.

When push comes to shove,

You do what you gotta do."

"You were never there.

Guess you don't have a phone.

You never called to say, "I miss you.""

"Hahaha, are you kidding? Is this a joke?

You need to let it go!

You're stronger with those daddy issues."

"Oh! Thank you!"

"Show me some respect.

It ain't easy to neglect!

My attention would've made you softer."

"Ooh-hoo! Should I be proud?

Don't turn this thing around!"

"I guess you are your father's daughter, haha!"

"Don't think I need you, I just came here for something!"

"I've given you everything, by giving you nothing."

"I did what I had to do."

"I made it on my own, no thanks to you!"

"Well, you could learn a thing or two.

When push comes to shove,

You do what you gotta do."

"How 'bout I go with you and we'll spend some time?"

"How 'bout you stay there 'cause you're out of your mind!"

"Let's make new memories, you can show me the town."

"No, you can keep your memories now."

"Get over it."

"I am over it!"

"I'm over you being over it!"

"Let's dance!"

"I did what I had to do.

No, you only did what's best for you!

Well, you could learn a thing or two.

When push comes to shove, you do-

When push comes to shove, you do-

When push comes to shove,

You do what you gotta do, yeah!"

"Puh-lease," Mal scoffed, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. She looked up at him, setting her jaw. She was going to stand her ground. Even to him. Especially to him. "You wanna make up for being a lousy dad?" She held out her hand. "Gimme the jewel."

"You're only half Hades," he pointed out. "Your mom's genes won out. The jewel won't do everything for you that it would for your siblings."

"I'll take my chances," Mal said.

"And before you can use it, you have to admit and accept your true self."

"I said I'll take my chances."

Hades was quiet for a moment, then he dropped the jewel into her hand. Mal held her head higher, closed her fist around the crystal, and started walking away.

"If it gets wet, it's all over," Hades called.

"Yeah, yeah," Mal said. She headed up the stairs. "Come on. Let's go. We got what we needed."

Hades shook his head with a sigh. "That's my girl."

Crystal stood up, brushed herself off, and walked next to Mal until they got near the front door. Then she grabbed her arm tight. "Hey. What the hell?"

Mal sighed. "Look. I don't want to talk about it. I just don't. But... Evie is the only one who knows that he's my dad. None of his other kids even know. And we're going to keep it that way."

Crystal chuckled and nodded. "Right. That's why you chose me." She clicked her tongue. "You know I have to keep my word."

"No, no," Mal said, "I brought you because out of all the members of the Mafia, you're the one I trust." She shrugged. "You're very levelheaded."

Crystal paused, furrowing her brows. "Thanks. I think."

"Now come on. We've got to get back to the others," Mal said with a small smile. She put the jewel in her pocket. "We've got work to do."