#would've been fine if it was just a regular jewish community group but then you had to go ruin it by feeding money to warmongers

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

I've been trying to figure out what I want to say. not that anything I have to say is important; more as a way to think things through.

there's no way to exactly compartmentalize. but if I've realized anything, it's this. in my roughly ten year process of activism and coming to understand social inequity, nothing has radicalized me more then palestine.

nothing has made me more aware of the utter betrayals of our social system. nothing directly at this point, has made me truly see that our political systems can and will turn their backs on human lives when it suits them. it's embarrassing, but it took a scale as big as this to undo 27 years of propaganda that we (as in those in a western capitalist society) have created this system that allows for lives to be wiped out and for others to allow this to happen. how utterly dangerous and cruel. really, you only have to watch so many back to back clips of people being slaughtered right next to clips of rich men in suits chatting casually at the UN like they're not debating over who gets to live or die, to become enraged.

the devastation we were seeing even just a couple days after oct 7th was enough, but when the west did not report or cry over those little lives left all alone to rot in a decomposed hospital like how they wailed over every single israeli hostage - that said everything to me.

I'm sure we're all waiting for the day we can talk about this as a past event and for the palestinians living through it to still be alive to talk about it. for their freedom. but right now, this has changed everything for me. I'm not heavily involved in politics or would pretend like I have a finger on the pulse of anything, but I really do believe, that this has massively shifted things here in north america. note I'm canadian, not american, but regardless, ppl my age and younger have not only never seen such aggressive destruction play out worldwide like this, but more so, been so blatantly lied to and disregarded by their government. their worries quieted, their demands tossed aside; the whole world is calling for a ceasefire, and it's literally like no one in a suit behind a desk can see us. we're screaming and they can't even be asked to look at us. this already fragile line of trust between the public and their politicians, has essentially snapped completely. people like myself, have come into the reality the system & the people in it not only do not care for us, but that they don't need to either. I'm not sure how these politicians in power are going to get people to back them again, when it's becoming very clear to the masses that whatever we have to say doesn't matter to them anyway. it all feels very much like a tipping point, at least to me.

but I'm about to take a hard turn, back to palestine. there was a moment in all this madness that has stuck with me ever since, that I've thought to post about but couldn't verbalize. I think it was AJ who had a clip of it and I've searched their YT pages up and down for the video, but annoyingly cannot find it again - so I apologize that I don't know any names (but if you know what I'm referring to, then PLEASE let me know bc I truly want to know who this happened to). it was early in the war, I believe it was still october.

there was a video from someone who's become one of gaza's media reporters, a man I do not know the name of. from what I understand, he was born and raised there, and did local photography. but like many media personal in gaza, when the war hit, he started to document. he ended up posting a clip that haunts me; he was riding in an ambulance with others that was transporting people to a hospital. while they were riding, people fleeing from what I believe was a bombing stopped the vehicle. they were carrying a baby. the baby was bleeding and bruised and cut, from the recent attack. they pleaded with them, to take the child to the hospital and then placed the baby all alone into this man's arms. imagine that. you're a photographer with no training, caught in the middle of one of the world's bloodiest fights ever witnessed. you're unequipped and frightened. you're just trying to escape with your own life in tact. and then someone hands you a baby. they just place a baby in your arms.

out of nowhere, there's this little life in your hands. blood is cracked over their once soft skin and they're crying, blindly calling out for mom or for dad, who may never come back. their tiny heartbeat hammers under the torn pair of clothes, having narrowly escaped death. but only narrowly. and now, it's yours to bear. a human life, clutching on still, and it's up to you to wrap it in your arms and make sure it lives.

out of everything coming from gaza, I've been unable to shake this image. I just couldn't possibly imagine if that was me. as far as I understand it, this guy wasn't a formal journalist, just a media influencer who photographed and talked about his hometown, no training - and then he's thrown into a warzone. and more, another life is placed onto him.

he handled it, from the clip, very well; kept calm and composed and tried to calm the baby too. I wish I knew, if he was able to help that baby survive. I hope the little life did.

I hope they both did.