#would make him more sympathetic to them i think

[castiwls]

Birthday blues .ᐟ

Paring; coach!patrick x single mom!reader

Synopsis; your son's turning nine and you're finally facing the reality that your ex was officially a deadbeat. Oh and Patrick really can't build a bike (but his hearts in the right place)

Notes; I may start a tag list for this if I get enough interest? hm

Masterlist | coach!au masterlist

He was out of his depth. Wayyyy out of his depth teaching kids tennis was one thing but this? This was something he’d never imagined. He wasn’t even sure how he’d been roped into this yet here he was sitting on your living room floor on a Friday night surrounded by balloons and wrapping paper.

He huffed staring down at the instruction manual by his knees as he looked back to the parts of the bike on the floor. His lips pursed as he picked up another screw staring at it for a moment. 

“Keep glaring at it like that and it might disappear.” You quipped looking up from the box in your lap. A small smile pulled at your lips as you watched him raise an eyebrow picking up another screw. “Why can’t they all be the same length.” He grumbled holding them up to show you.

Shrugging you grabbed the wrapping paper placing the box on it. “Because that would be too easy.” He huffed a laugh placing the screws down before stretching his legs out. Humming quietly you grabbed a piece of tape to secure the paper before folding the edges. 

“You make that look so easy,” Patrick murmured watching you. His fingers tapped against the carpet you’d both been at this for a few hours now. You both worked surprisingly well together and besides the bike, almost everything was done and it was only ten.

Blowing out a breath he picked up a balloon before hitting it across the room. “I still think you're overcompensating. I know his Dad’s been a dick but this seems excessive.” 

You finished the present before sliding it into the pile. “I know it’s just-” You paused letting out a sigh. “This is the first year his Dad’s not been in contact at all. I just want him to have a good say still.” Your voice lowered slightly, a look of sadness flashing in your eyes. 

Noah hadn’t exactly taken his Dad’s recent distancing well. Ever since you’d been sick a month ago he’d pretty much refused to see his son, making excuse after excuse leaving you to pick up the pieces.

“Co-parenting was easier than this.”

Patrick smiled sympathetically, his tongue poking at his cheek as he thought for a moment. “You know it’s not your fault? The guy’s a dick, Noah’ll understand one day that maybe it was for the best.” He tried to keep his tone light but even he’d noticed Noah’s slight behaviour shift.

He seemed more subdued at practice, a sad look in his eyes that no child should have. “He’s gonna have a good day.” He shifted slightly closer, eyeing the pile of gifts. “His Dad’s the one missing out.”

He leaned down slightly to catch your gaze, his lips curling as you looked over. His gaze was soft, loving almost as your teeth caught your lip for a moment before your own lips curled into a small smile.

He handed you the instruction manual for the bike, his hand lingering over yours for a moment. “C’mon, let's get this thing finished.”

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *

“That took us longer than it should have.” You grimaced looking over to the clock which read 12 am. Patrick chuckled shaking his head. “It wouldn’t have taken half as long if someone knew how to read instructions.”

You shot him an offended look. “It’s not my fault you don’t know your lefts from your rights!”

You glared at each other for a moment before laughing quietly. His eyes crinkled slightly as you straightened your leg out to nudge him. “Hey!” He gasped in mock offence as he grabbed your ankle before running his fingers up your calf.

Your leg jerked at the sensation, a gasp leaving your lips. His eyes widened before they filled with what you could only guess was a mix of amusement and trouble. “Oh. Someone ticklish I see.” He smiled innocently repeating the motion.

You shook your head trying to pull your leg back. “Patrick. Sta-stop.” You gasped as his fingers continued their attack. He hummed pretending to think for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t think I will.”

He grinned at the sound of your laughter between your pleas for him to stop. A warm feeling filled his chest as you all but fell apart on the carpet, tears brimming in your eyes as you tried to pull your leg back. 

You gasped falling back against the carpet as you finally managed to pull your leg away, your breath coming out in pants as you lay still. The room fell quiet as you stared at the ceiling for a moment.

Patrick shifted to sit beside you, his face coming into view as he grinned down at you, his expression filled with joy. You smiled up at him as your breathing calmed down “You’re evil.” 

Shaking his head he poked your side making you squeak. “Careful.” He raised an eyebrow before looking around the room. “We did good hm?”

You had. The room was covered in balloons and a few banners with the bike and presents by the window. “We did.” You smiled sitting up.

You yawned stretching your arms out and groaning slightly. God you were tried. 

“I better get going,” Patrick said as he stood. “Tell him I said happy birthday.” He grabbed his jacket before pulling an envelope out and passing it to you. Your heart warmed slightly as you noticed the slight flush on his cheeks as you turned the envelope over in your hands.

“You didn’t have to-” He shook his head, shrugging. “It’s nothing. Felt wrong to show up empty-handed.”

Your eyes softened as you nodded. That was possibly the sweetest thing he’d ever done. The fact that he’d even had the thought to get a card was adorable and the sheepish look on his face added to that.

“Well, that's very kind.”

He nodded glancing to the door for a moment before raising his hand. “Well… I’ll see you at practice.”

You hummed nodding as you placed the card down by the presents before standing. An idea flashed through your mind as you stared down at the envelope which now lay beside your own.

“Patrick.” You turned back, making your mind up before you could psyche yourself out. “Do…do you wanna stay?” 

⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *

Noah grinned, bouncing on his feet as you knocked on the guest room door. You pushed it open ever so slightly but before you could say anything Noah raced in. “Patrick!” He grinned poking the man's side.

Patrick mumbled something before his eyes fluttered open with a quiet groan. He frowned for a moment at the feel of something poking him before he remembered the night before. 

You’d let him stay over. You’d let him stay over.

A giddy feeling spread across his chest as he opened his eyes again, now more alert as Noah’s messy curls came into view. “Noah, c’mon give him some space.” You hummed stepping in and gently moving the boy back.

“Can we go open presents now?” He whined looking between you both. A quiet laugh left you as Patrick sat up. Noah whined again looking between you both. 

“Fine.” You relented watching as he squealed. Patrick laughed at his enthusiasm moving to stand from the bed. “Morning.” 

“Morning.” You smiled as Noah tugged on your hand.

The three of you made your way downstairs, Noah gasping as he saw the living room he turned back to you both, his eyes bright and full of joy as he bounced on his feet. “Happy birthday.” Kneeling down you pressed a kiss to his cheek as he wrapped his arms around you. 

Your son's joy was infectious as you found any worry you’d had about his father's absence slipping away. Noah didn’t seem to mind one bit as he pressed into your embrace for a moment before setting his sights on Patrick.

He hadn’t questioned why his coach was here when you’d told him. He’d simply grinned harder before demanding he come open presents with you both. The little boy left your hold to barrel into Patrick’s legs. 

Patrick stumbled slightly but leaned down to wrap his arms around the boy. “Happy birthday bud.”

You watched them both your heart swelling slightly at the sight of your son smile, all thoughts of his dad seeming to disappear as he smiled up at Patrick.

You’d promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for Patrick. You refused to let your son get hurt yet you knew your walls had fallen. Patrick had managed to wiggle his way into your lives and part of you had never been happier.

“Okay.” You shook your head pushing the thought away. Your son's birthday wasn’t the time to have a crisis over your feelings for a guy. “Who want’s to open presents hm?”

Noah’s hand shot up. “Me!”

[coffeegnomee]

ugh sometimes watching Kab pov I get real sympathetic for how difficult it must be to be in her brain and just be so confused all the time and exhausted about masking her feelings to make other people trust her and her pain in wanting to be vulnerable and receive vulnerability and feel deep reciprocal love.

But then she says shit, really fucking mean and toxic shit towards mental health and healing and it triggers my own fight or flight and i become a ball of rage.

And like, I do get it. When you start your journey of mental health healing you often become the toxic one as you throw the shit people have said to you at everyone who also has similar mental health issues as you. (been there done that) Doing it to process your own rage at being told these things, or thinking, out of desperation, that if you can just get them to fix themselves quickly, you can fix yourself quickly. The bullied becomes the bully.

But then time passes and you realize this shit is hard to overcome. (or maybe it won't ever be overcome! and that's okay!) And you stop being toxic and you start being compassionate, to yourself and others. And eventually you start to heal and become confident in your own self worth and the validity of your emotions.

But before then it's the fucking worst place to watch someone be in. And that place is unfortunately where we are right now.

below is a short transcript of the convo this reflection is based off of. it can be triggering so like, don't feel obliged to read it.

11/10/24 kab vod: "I have no idea what's happening"

1:42:00 KAB: “what about how he makes me feel? Why is it so important what he feels and to accommodate everything he’s feeling? Why do i have to conceded to that???”

1:44:00 “I’m sick of having to accommodate to everyone else’s actions” 

realizing your masking is hurting you is one of the worst realizations (imo). bc the mask keeps you safe, but if you can't process or give worth to your real emotions, it's not serving you.

so she swaps from processing her own feeling to being angry at zam.

1:47:00 She gets he needs time and space, but “We don't have time for to try and sit and process your emotions properly. Do it after we deal with this fucking issue [...] sometimes you just need to toughen up” 

Fucking hell the trigger i just felt for just toughen up. 

1:48:00 “i need to know what he’s thinking so that we can work together. In a team!” 

what team!?!

“‘Does zam really hate communication more than he likes spawn and the server’ literally. Like pick your priorities dude.”

I’m going to fucking throw up. Because yes. Actually yes. Unfortunately and actually yes. He's gotten a lot better but like.

1:53:00 “I dunno. I wish he would care about himself as much as i care about him. Hard to see him like this [pause] maybe he does need more nurturing than i can give him bro ugh. I am just not- i am not good at that shit. I think it’s stupid [..] when you have a job to do [..] just shove your emotions away for a bit. And then you can process them later” 

I was going to say this is just eclipse, but I just realized that maybe it's just this is exactly the perception Zam had of Vi: that Vi just wanted him to move on when he couldn't. All his deepest fears of what Vi wanted from him are being personified into a new person. 

(also he is shoving his emotions away and that's why he's not processing it and giving you an answer for why he "doesn't know"????? but since he's not a perfect ball of joy and masking to you and because he is doing what you can't (shove emotions away) you are in rage)

1:54:00  “But it’s like, while there’s a life or death situation that literally determines the entire server we don't have time to be like, holding your hand, you know? Like, you're an adult” ughh fuck. being broken is inconvenient for others and age is seen as an invalidation to any of your real brokenness. If you're old you no longer have the right to be broken. Can we please change this narrative? thx

“If he cared enough he would actively try and do something to help himself in this situation” 

Interesting choice of words to say "he would try to help himself if he cared" complaining about others not "working" on themselves (and you can never know if someone is working on themselves bc you're not in their brain) helps nobody bc you can only control yourself.

“You just want to sit and feel bad about yourself” no that's what you're doing kab

“He got me to fucking open up to him and pour my heart out and is now turning his back on that entirely. That’s what i’m actually more upset about” 

oh the naive belief that because you pour your heart out to someone they must reciprocate. That is the risk you take when you are honest with someone about your feelings. They are at no obligation to reciprocate ever. Never ever. But that doesn't mean your feelings aren't true and it doesn't mean you shouldn't have done it. Love is a risk.

But also she feels she was forced into it. Forced to be vulnerable and she hates the vulnerability. She doesn't remember (or believe) that Zam promised to not use it against her. She isn't willing to give him the chance to not use it against her. He simply knows and that is a threat.

So love turns into spite. Instantly. And she doesn't want to talk to him anymore. And decides that she will just be fake to him.

oh girl. keeping the mask on doesn't help anything. 

“I’ve lost a lot of respect for him today. I’m done trying to impress him”

and so the mask returns. and healing stops.

[bbyboybucket]

Okay okay, now that I’ve had time to actually think about all this and get the evidence and do the math: imma give y’all a little ted talk on Bucky’s Stockholm Syndrome.

So I’m gonna preface all this by saying that this probably wasn’t an intentional choice from the writers of TFATWS. For two reasons, one cause the show overall had a ton of writing issues beyond just Bucky and was kinda a mess as a whole. And two, to actually make that claim firmly, I’d have to do a rewatch and I don’t got time for all that. That said, as a viewer, choosing to look not just TFATWS, but at all of Bucky’s appearances from the perspective of him having Stockholm Syndrome, makes a lotttt of sense. It adds a lot of depth to his actions, words, etc. Also even if it wasn’t intentional, if you chose to look at it through this lens, the narrative of TFATWS being contradictory towards him can actually be a reflection of what’s going on in his head. The way the show is sometimes sympathetic but other times judgmental can be a reflection of how he sees himself and his inner conflict regarding his past. Again, I don’t think the writers intentionally did this, but it’s cool way to look at it and repurposes their mistakes.

Now, I just wanna point out that Stockholm syndrome can develop within merely days or weeks, so it’s almost kinda silly to think that it wouldn’t occur if someone had been held hostage for decades. It’s practically undoubtable that Bucky had Stockholm Syndrome for at least some part of his captivity, but I think he’s still dealing with the remnants of it. Zemo was right when he said there’s something still in Bucky and he can’t get rid of hydra. But it’s not that he’s some evil killer at heart, it’s that he has leftovers from Stockholm Syndrome.

In a very simplified summary, Stockholm syndrome usually happens and works when captors cause immense pain to the victim and then treat them well afterwards. The captor shows them some form of kindness, flattery, mercy, etc. back to back with harm. Also a big factor in it is the victim becoming dependent on them for basic needs. Seriously, learned helplessness is a huge factor in Stockholm Syndrome. All of it causes a “bond” to form. And the more this occurs over time, the stronger it gets because the victim is constantly exposed to them, they become their only source of interactions and relationships. Stockholm syndrome is thought to be a complex trauma response, a defense mechanism for surviving during cruel and terrifying conditions.

Think of it like the victim disassociates the perpetrator from the abuse and then emotionally bonds with them, so that they can lessen their fear and feel a sense of security. Also with Stockholm Syndrome (especially within cults), not only does the victim bond with their captor, but being isolated from the rest of the world causes them to adopt their captor’s views and lifestyle. They get completely indoctrinated and start to think the same way as the captor.

Now think about what we see with the Winter Soldier. Even from the very little that we know, it’s a cycle of Hydra severely hurting him but then giving him praise, encouragement, validation, etc. All for manipulation ofc, but a broken mind isn’t going to see it that way. He would be relishing in the fact that they’re making him feel like he’s needed and wanted, like he’s done good, etc. Especially since that’s the only affirmations and positive reinforcements he receives, and is otherwise forced to suffer. Those moments of praise and “kindness”, are so so so heavily weighted against everything else.

While he was captive, while Hydra had him, he likely thought they cared about him. It probably felt close to love. Now ofc Bucky, as a free man with a clear head, knows it wasn’t love or anything at all except being viewed as a weapon. But I bet there’s still a part of him that desires that again, even if he knows it was fake, especially in the wake of becoming lonely and left with his own negative thoughts. Because like I said before, the affirmations were fucking heavy weighted. During those 70 years just the slightest bit of praise or mercy probably felt like the world’s greatest high. Especially when it was given in the midst of pain.

These manipulative affirmations also result in the victim justifying their abuse. This happens in a lot of abusive situations but especially in Stockholm Syndrome. Think about the scene where Pierce is praising the winter soldier so he can convince him to do what he’s told. What immediately follows? He slaps him. Then he electrocutes him. But the winter soldier doesn’t resist either, doesn’t complain, etc. He takes both, which is definitely a conditioned response, but it’s also likely due to the thoughts of “I’m disappointing them, I deserve this punishment for not behaving.” And to play devils advocate, let’s say he didn’t feel as if he deserved it. Even so, without speculating his thoughts, his reactions to the abuse and the fact that he’s been conditioned to deal with that at all, are still signs of Stockholm Syndrome. Because the captor’s behavior has become normalized.

Also he very well was dependent on them for his every single need. For food, water, shelter, hygiene, human interaction, and probably things he didn’t need but was manipulated into believing were necessities. And that, especially with the learned helplessness and with him likely being in constant survival mode, reinforces that feeling of dependence. The feeling that he needs them. The feeling that they’re Hydra isn’t so bad because they take care of him. The dependence also circles back into kindness thing. Providing for him could easily be seen as small acts of kindness, further making him feel like Hydra cares about him.

Another huge huge huge part of Stockholm Syndrome is that the victim shows resistance and anger towards those trying to help them or that try to oppose the captor. Look at how the Winter Soldier reacts to Steve, various times throughout the movie. With almost everyone else, he’s mostly objective, just fighting anyone who stands in the way of Hydra. He’s brainwashed but he’s not stupid, he knows Steve had another motive. He knew Steve wanted to help him in some way or separate him from Hydra. And that made him fucking livid. He wasn’t just irritated, like he was when Natasha shot his goggles. He was fighting with full on rage, because didn’t want to even think about a life outside of Hydra.

Now, I don’t think it’s full blown Stockholm syndrome anymore now that he’s a free man. That’s why in my initial post I said it’s to certain degree. In remission is maybe a way to word it. He can’t have full blown Stockholm Syndrome, because if he did, he wouldn’t acknowledge that hydra was bad at all, he’d straight up defend them. However, he clearly has some level of it since he considers himself to have been hydra, to have been one of them, rather than just their captive.

But this all plays into Bucky’s overall-mcu characterization and the way he has conflicting views on his time as the soldier. Because Bucky knows what happened to him was fucked up, that it wasn’t actually his fault, but he still feels that way because he was indoctrinated into their culture and his psyche was completely altered by them beyond just trauma. The degree of his stockholm syndrome is what makes him having stressful, conflicting, confusing feelings on it. It’s cognitive dissonance. In case anyone doesn’t know, here’s a quick definition: cognitive dissonance is when you have two conflicting thoughts/feelings at the same time or when your actions conflict with your thoughts/feelings.

Cause we know he has cognitive dissonance from his actions as the winter soldier. We know he has extreme stress, shame, and guilt from the fact that he killed people despite it not being in line with his morals. BUT if we’re talking about Stockholm Syndrome, it unravels other areas of cognitive dissonance. It’s why he struggles so much with accepting his own innocence and forgiving himself, and rarely acknowledges what was done to him. He knows he was a victim yet he was also a perpetrator. Those don’t align, they contradict each other, he can’t see how they can be simultaneous, it doesn’t neatly make sense how the perpetrator could also be the victim, especially from his perspective. A lot of times, the way people deal with cognitive dissonance is by ignoring one of the feelings/beliefs. His way of dealing with this is to put the blame on himself, because even though it still feels shitty, it’s less confusing and easier to accept that than the fact that multiple things can be true at once. Or more accurately from the outsider’s perspective: the fact that his innocence outweighs his guilt.

That’s why he shuts down anyone who points out he’s not to blame. He’s avoiding the feeling of victimhood that conflicts with his beliefs that he’s at fault. It shakes everything thing up and makes him feel even worse than just the guilt alone does. Which also is due to the fact that it’s easier to believe you’re the problem than it is to acknowledge you were helpless. And to deal with the cognitive dissonance he’s choosing the more manageable option, being at fault. But all this cognitive dissonance just completely feeds into his guilt and self esteem problems.

(Side note, no I absolutely do not think his guilt is boiled down to just this. This looking at one little piece of the puzzle, it’s wayyy bigger than this. I’m just sticking to the context of this post right now.)

He didn’t want to do anything Hydra made him do, he never wanted to be with them, yet he accepted Hydra as a home during those 70 years and some of their practices linger in his head. It’s inconsistent to have not wanted to apart of it but adopted the lifestyle anyways. The stress that inconsistency brings is not easy to resolve. Especially because he likely doesn’t understand why he felt any kind of attachment to something that caused him and others so much pain. Think about the line “Hydra was my people”. We all hate it. But….if you look at it from this perspective, it’s not necessarily wrong. He spent 70 years with them. 70 years of having nothing but Hydra, having to rely on them, having to endure all the things that cause Stockholm Syndrome to develop. He didn’t have a choice in the matter, but it really was his home in his eyes. An abusive, nazi nightmare of a home but still, sadly….his home. They were his people, because they forced themselves to be. They were his only people. Again, that’s where the cognitive dissonance comes in: he hates them, he wishes they weren’t ever his people….but the fact is that they were. And that eats at him.

And like I mentioned before, Stockholm Syndrome involves indoctrination and adopting the ideals of the captor. It would be hard to completely remove that if it’s what you spent decades living by. Hydra’s world view and practices probably still slip into his mind a lot, but they don’t align with what he truly believes is right, they’re not who he is as a person: again, more cognitive dissonance that’s causing him distress.

All of this is also probably a factor in why he wants to make amends, not only because he wants to right his wrongs and make up for his sins, but he wants to act on this cognitive dissonance. Because amending does align with his feelings of being against hydra, of not wanting to be a part of Hydra. And acting on that might help push away those other feelings of being one of them.

Also think about how he never argues or defends himself when people speak down on him and his past, he never corrects anyone when they say he’s hydra, he never has any rebuttal against negative comments about him. Which of course, is due to his low self esteem, and again, guilt. But also it goes back to the Stockholm Syndrome and cognitive dissonance that fuel those feelings. He can’t argue or defend his character to anyone else, because he can’t even convince it himself. Because for any excuse, any explanation, any proof he has of being good….he has something to contradict it with. And how can he truly say he’s still a good guy and not at fault when even he is confused about what’s true? When he still has uncomfortable, lingering attachments to Hydra that he hasn’t shaken yet?

The point is, his head is fucking mess, which we all already knew….but looking at it like this just makes you realize how much more confused and lost he is, how his thoughts are literally at war with each other all the time. And when you look at the narrative as a reflection of his feelings, it makes sense why it switches up every second. If it’s confusing for a viewer to see the seesaw go back and forth from “victim” to “criminal”, then imagine what it’s like in Bucky’s head.

Now I do feel like there’s a lot more here, you could go way deeper and I’m probably missing some stuff, but it’s a place to start. Just some fuel to get the motors running.

[selfish-cat]

Veilguard Re-imagined

Given how DAV turned out to be, I think it would've been much more interesting if it was more in line with what Trespasser was hinting at. Spoilers below:

Instead of ooo bad evil gods and bad evil people, the factions could've been so much more nuanced. And you know who would've been super involved? The elves. Elves still struggling with the truth of their Vallaslin. Elves tired of being treated like dirt. Elves who are proud of their heritage.

I'm imagining the main 3 factions would be:

Evanuris: The base of their followers would be the Dalish who have worshipped them for centuries and don their Vallaslin. Whether or not the Inquisitor spreads the news about their tyranny (and whether or not they're believed), as a people who have lost everything time and time again, why would you turn away the chance to regain the former glory your people once had? The gods wouldn't have to try very hard. They were leaders once of course they know how to sway people. Make them sympathetic! Show them mourning their friends and lovers and lost empire. Have them cast doubt over Solas' claims! They can still have their "bullies and tyrants" and their blighted dragons but they would also have the desperate and disillusioned, maybe some of whom you can still reach out to and pull back.

If you want to bring the Blight in, it would be easy enough to blight their followers under the premise of empowerment (Solas isn't the only one who can lie). Instead of throwing a billion reavers at me, give me intelligent blighted creatures who think they're reclaiming their agency, who think they're avenging themselves, their loved ones, and their ancestors by spreading the blight to cities. It would also be a good way to distinguish between the gods' followers and other factions.

You know who wouldn't be joining them? Tevinter supremacists whose Imperium past prided themselves on conquering the elves. Or the Antaam who haven't renounced their beliefs and upbringing—you don't shake off that lifelong wariness of magic unless a lot of people get real chill with a lot of things real fast. I'm not touching the Butcher part because I still don't understand it although confused, lost track of the plot, wanting to turn yourself inside out? Relatable.

Fen'Harel: Rather than being relegated to a troll in the comments, let Solas lead the army he amassed in Trespasser??? All the Dalish and the city elves who are tired of being systematically oppressed and have been for literal ages?? He clearly cares for their freedom, as established in DAI (I had feelings when he finally called the Dalish "our people" but then it was followed by EA/Bioware nonsense). Other than the one line about him breaking the chains of slaves at the beginning, his deeds are never mentioned again other than to berate Rook.

I think his forces would be smaller. More scouts and spirits that specialize in skirmishes. It would be a three-way fight between the Evanuris, Solas, and Rook (with support from the Inquisitor and different implications depending on whether you disbanded or not). I think it'd be very interesting if you established a friendship/romance with Solas' and his forces withdrew when the Inquisitor appears vs. continue fighting if you decide to burn that bridge because choices matter EA. None of the elves in his forces will have their Vallaslin.

Keep the flashbacks. Keep the lore. Keep Mythal. But also keep the character instead of teehee lied to you again why would I listen to reason uwu.

Rook: None of the party needs to change or even the order of recruitment or any of the powers at play. They're all so charming and fun and clearly written with love.

Of course Harding will be there as a rep from the Inquisition. Let her work through her struggles with the Maker and the Golden City lore. Let her explore Titan lore but in a way that doesn't end with welp guess that's that and now let's not bring it up again since there definitely won't be implications with dwarves across all of Thedas. Neve works with the Shadow Dragons and would be sympathetic to the whole situation. Keep Aelia and involve the Venatori that way—strictly in Tevinter and unrelated to the gods. I imagine their forces were severely weakened after Corypheus. They can still kill the Archon in preparation of installing one of their own in if they want because that'd be in line with their established motives.

Bellara and Davrin can help shed a light on their perspective of things. Bellara tries in DAV but given how elf involvement was basically dismissed with "nah they're steering clear of the evil gods and we defs don't have a problem with any of this" t'was rough. It would've made more sense bringing Cyrian back aligned with the gods than suddenly bringing up a Forgotten One (excellent DLC option in the Tirashan though). Davrin struggling to distance himself from his heritage and empowerment via Wardenhood and fatherhood (lol) is very interesting to explore instead of idk being a farm boy even though it'd be awfully hard to farm without a permanent settlement, which apparently was a thing but I digress. Keep the griffons and Isseya but tie her to Ghilan'nain in a sympathetic but warped way (of course Ghilan'nain loves the griffons and is sympathetic to their plight. Why not make them better? Isseya's a city elf but why would she doubt the Mother of Halla?) Also definitely keep that chat with Solas and have more of that!

Lucanis and Crow lore. Imagine debating with him about practices of kidnapping and torturing children to train them. Characters can grow and learn (look at my best boy Dorian) and when he gets promoted to First Talon, maybe he'll keep your words in mind if your bond is high enough. Taash and Emerich had more personal things to deal with which is great. Not every character arc has to be directly tied back to the Big Bads. In DAV's case, it would've made more sense if they were just standalone issues instead of trying to be like "yeahh y'know, Venatori support. Yup."

And if you play Rook as an elf, there should definitely be a city elf and Dalish option because they're different cultures EA. You can't just have options like "I'm Dalish where it counts" and say "Our Gods" and "Your People" in the same scene because what even does that mean EA. Very good posts about this stuff here and here and here

Ending: At the end of this power struggle, where the gods are inevitably taken down, instead of a uwu everyone lived happily ever after except those who died, there are! Ramifications! Those were elven gods that almost destroyed everything! Why would they just let elves be and the Dalish chill and settle in Arlathan Forest (nvm why they were allowed back in the first place given how the Dalish treat the Dales and how they expect people to react to their presence there)?

Depending on how you play all your games (or a neutral score for new players), I think this is where you see the results of your choices. Did you garner sympathy and support from leaders? What leaders did you put in place? Will things return to a tense status quo? Will there be another Exalted March where they're driven even farther away? Or will there be introspection and understanding maybe resulting in a new Halamshiral for the Dalish somewhere and more rights for city elves?

As for Solas, I think his outcome would depend on the Inquisitor's choice in Trespasser. Do you kill him, leaving any future attempts to breach the Veil a risk? Do you fade into obscurity with him to live out a peaceful life in secrecy? Or do you convince him to give Thedas as is a second chance now that the gods are gone? He can disappear, maybe he occasionally has visitors or visits those he considers friends while keeping an eye on the world and the Veil (he'll be the new Veilguard which would make that ending line make more sense)?

[sunfyrisms]

i don’t think isha is going to allow jinx to “be the sister that she wanted vi to be”. not exactly, at least. i think, largely, her new role as a older sister—perhaps a paternal figure, depending on how you view their interactions—to isha will make her more sympathetic and understanding of the struggles vi endured and the choices she made. because jinx has never been put in a position where she’s been the older sister, she never realized the sacrifices vi had to make, the pressure she was under. vi grew up in an extremely violent environment, and was forced to act like the adult. nearly every interaction she had with vander was him warning vi that every action she takes has consequences, and she will have to live with those consequences. i don’t think vander was necessarily wrong, he loved his family and the zaun so, so deeply, and i think she needed to be made aware of that, but his teachings put a massive weight on vi’s shoulders, and haunted her for years to come. i think jinx being put in the place vi was in, as an older sister, a protector, a leader—like how vi was for her and their brothers—will make her very aware of the position vi was put in. i think it will make her more understanding because, no matter what happened, vi loved her family, loved powder, more than anything else in the world and would have done anything for them—as we see time and time again—and i think that understanding will be crucial for their relationship. i don’t know, i just think she will become more empathetic and understanding of vi’s pain and the decisions she had to make (decisions she made because she thought they would keep her family safe).

while we’re here, i’m very conflicted on the possibility of isha dying. i think part of jinx’s arc will be her realizing she’s not a jinx, that she’s deserving of love, that these tragedies she’s endured weren’t her fault and don’t define her, and that powder never died. jinx and powder are the same person, alive, broken, but alive and deserving of love and healing. i think isha reminds her of that. her presence, her attachment to jinx, tells jinx that she’s a symbol. that she can fight for something more. she can fight for zaun, she can fight for a better future, but also, it tells jinx that she’s not what her name suggests. i just think, should she die, jinx will just be stuck in this mindset that she destroys everything she loves.

[4belphie]

feeling frustrated bc i love the house of mouse au but i kinda hate how shippy it is 😭

[youmakemestrong]

i hate continuously reverting back to denial but dear fucking god i just CAN'T believe it

such an important part of my life for over 12 years and he's just gone

i was here for him when he was 17 and loved green beans and i was here for him when he was 31 and trying to get his life together and i have always loved him all the same

i'm going to be plagued by the what ifs of the rest of his life for the rest of mine

[serpentface]

Does Janeys know that Brakul has a wife and son? How would he react if he learned?

He actually does know and has known pretty much from the beginning.

Early on in his stint as a POW turned mercenary, Brakul would repeatedly invoke his wife and son as reasons he could or could not do certain things + to insult Janeys like 'okay but some of us have actual, tangible responsibilities in this world and people who depend on them. Like my wife and son, who I will be returning to immediately when my contract is over. You're never going to see me again. On account of my wife and son.'

When he started actually Liking Janeys and wanting to be with him, and seeing a chance to Avoid All Consequences And Never Go Back Home, he gradually reversed course (and attempted to rationalize it to himself) like "Ahhh they'll be fine. I mean everyone probably thinks I'm dead and/or an oathbreaker anyway so Sirudan's gotta be remarried by now. My brother probably got in on that, and he really has his shit together so they're in good hands. Honestly it will be worse for them if I go back. They're better off without me. They're fine. It's not a big deal. I'm soooooo single and unattached btw" And Janeys was like "Okay. Yay."

13 years down the line Janeys almost never thinks about it and when he occasionally remembers it's like

He does not give a shitttt about the wife/child abandonment angle whatsoever, but he's aware that Brakul still has some attachment to them and regrets over skipping out, and he's kind of insecure about it. The concept of Brakul having a child out there completely independent of their whole Thing also makes him uncomfortable in ways he can't really put his finger on. He's not actually scared that Brakul will return to his ex-wife though, like even with all his profound insecurities and abandonment issues he knows there's not a chance in hell that he's gonna actually attempt to make amends. Bottom line is he doesn't like to think about it, and mostly doesn't have to.

[sarellathesphinx]

Constantly torn between genuinely loving the remake timeline’s depiction of Reeve and Cait and being immensely sad that pretty much all of my favorite lines of theirs from the original were totally excised or bc of plot developments will never be said

[57sfinest]

okay as a Jean Enjoyer i feel like i need to say this because there are different genres of jean enjoyment (jeanres if you will). i am of the faction where i don’t really vibe with the whole “jeangst” thing (as it exists as a fandom phenomenon) and here’s why. so much of the stuff i see labeled “jeangst” is WAY too sympathetic to and forgiving of jean for my taste. like he’s woobified or there’s a lot of uncritical ‘poor jean harry is so mean to him and now harry’s amnesia ruined his life :(’ type stuff which is such a fundamental misunderstanding of him and his role in harry’s past & present and it skews how we view his dynamic with harry too. and i don’t mean this as “oh considering jean’s pov is bad!!1!1″ no i consider his pov all the time i am indescribably mentally ill about the torment that the jeanharry relationship puts both jean and harry through. but when we consider his point of view i really think that just ascribing him the simple role of ‘poor depressed punching bag’ strips him of all the interesting parts of his character & also contributes to a less nuanced and accurate understanding of harry as well (it makes it easy to villainize him for his addiction and mental illness, which in and of themselves aren’t moral failings-- harry was a bad person for his behavior, which is not the same as his addiction or his illnesses)

like, jean put himself in this situation. over and over again. yes he was likely forced into working with harry, but whatever’s going on between them is more than a workplace conflict. you look at luiga’s twitter and he’s said so much about jean and harry’s codependency and the other mentions of a very close and very unhealthy personal relationship. you see the way jean talks about his own role vs harry’s in the ending-- jean WANTS to be the poor victim, he wants everyone to see him as the helpless punching bag who is being such a saint by Putting Up With Harry And His Bullshit, look at me, i’m so much better than this stupid mentally ill addict! he’s like harry you are so unprofessional, and there is something wrong with you, and we are all so tired of putting up with you and your shitty behavior, but here he is sitting in a hotel lobby in a wig to harass harry while harry is actually doing his job!! like jean my love here you are reaming harry out about “doing his fucking job” sir what are you doing!! you are sitting in a hotel looking angry for 14 hours just in case your special little partner who you are definitely sooo mad at condescends to speak to you for a few minutes!! and you dragged poor judit out here too!! jean. girl. babe. it’s time to admit you are a massive hypocrite with an even bigger victim complex. you, a mentally ill addict, are losing your shit at harry for being a mentally ill addict. why don’t you meaningfully address the actual behaviors instead of just reminding harry that he’s an alcoholic every 2 minutes.

like i’m not saying jean should have infinite patience for harry after multiple years of mistreatment but damn dude the double standards are insane. jean is instigating a messy public breakup and being pretty abusive the whole time and then he’s like everyone feel bad for ME and not STUPID HARRY who is an ALCOHOLIC in case anyone forgot. he goes on and on about how much his life sucks and how much harry sucks and boohoo poor him he’s so depressed and beaten down by the shitkid etc but then in ANY sub-ideal ending you get there’s still something that tells you that he’s still taking harry back or at least considering it. in the cuno ending “he can’t leave you behind. he just can’t. one final time...” even in the worst ending “if you make it-- if you’re sober for 10 months-- tell us. i’ll work with you again.” jean babe if you hate him so much then stay the fuck away from him!! damn!! your codependency is showing!! your victim complex is showing!! just go get harry’s name tattooed on you at this point like at the very least it might get you some sympathy from people at the bar when they ask about what’s very clearly an Ex’s Name Tattoo

[hylianane]

Thinking about ASTV and how it tackles different family dynamics again, and while I’m sure so many fans of Miguel’s 2099 comics would love it if one of his love interests was brought into BSTV to help wrap up his backstory… I kinda hope they don’t, because him being an entirely single dad just sounds so much better to me than him having some dead off-screen partner.

Resolving to adopt a kid from another dimension also sounds more in line with the desperation of a man whose been put through the ringer in the adoption process, than that of someone who was a husband and father but lost that in recent years. It just feels more cohesive and intimate, while not resorting to the tired trope of killing off some woman to motivate the big burly man into action. I don’t think that would be fair to Xina and Dana, specially if they weren’t already introduced in ASTV and therefore missed a pretty big chance at standing out in the narrative. I can’t claim to be the most attached to them, as I only know of them, but I know I wouldn’t want a character I cared about to be reduced to that- specially if it would arguably come to the detriment of another character as well.

[sysig]

Special Counseling (Patreon)

[dutybcrne]

Kaveh definitely wants at least one child of his own. Partially to continue his family line, partially bc he himself loves the idea of having a family of his own. He would however like to move out of Alhaitham’s place before he even dares consider getting a partner to begin with. And the longer he stays there, the more stress he feels thinking about it. He even has sketched out nursery ideas and plans on how to raise them all set to go, if only he'd get out of debt fast enough-

Furina also really wants to have a child of her own. She adores seeing the families around Fontaine, and has dreamed a great deal what parenthood would be like. Nothing brings her joy than when children about Fontaine invite her to join in on the little games they are playing, leaving her giddy and smiling bright as sunshine on her way home. Of course she knows that to be a parent, she really has to get her shit together. One can't just rear a child on macaroni and residual payments, after all.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Processing some things

Also the fact that he's crouching with his hands on his knees is so cute to me for some reason?? He does this in another episode too - the one where Chakotay finds a symbol on an unknown planet...it's just so adorable to me. He could just lean down but no. Also of course his fingers are spread again - GOTTA utilize the whole hand whenever you do ANYTHING (if you're Tuvok)

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

Funny...he could swear he'd never met this woman a day in her life, and yet, when she said her name aloud, there was something about it that rang a distant bell in his head, though he couldn't say why...had he maybe read it somewhere, heard it somewhere?

Still, he set aside this feeling of deja vu to answer with a small smile, "Me? Oh, no, I'm a New Orleans native; born and raised, just like my ma!"

Born here, live here, will probably die here, he thought to himself wryly-he'd seldom left the city, let alone the state, and even then was something of a homebody. Unlike his old man, he couldn't exactly be described as a social butterfly, mostly content to keep to himself as he went about his day-sure, he went out; he went grocery shopping, went to the movies, spent his weekends trying to relax before the work week resumed, but one wouldn't catch him at any dance clubs or proverbial party centrals in town, that was for sure.

"Wh-What about you, Miss de Clair?" he asked, half-wondering he should call her "Emily", just as she called hm "Randall", as if they knew each other-maybe she knew something he didn't? "I, uh, I-I don't think I've ever seen you around before either-are you new in town?"

[rubberbandballqueen]

hgnnghh... college friend has been asking me questions abt adhd n how to get diagnosed n stuff recently, which i'm more than happy to help him with, but just now he sent a tik tok that was like "maybe i should ask abt this too?" n it was like "why do adhd people seem to crush so hard" n it was like.

now listen i haven't had a serious romantic feeling since i was in middle school, but the description in that tik tok literally dragged the memory of all that out of my chest n i just said to him "haha yep... that's accurate my dude" as though it hadn't just described what was easily one of my top ten "do not ever repeat this again" experiences of my life