#worldy thoughts like it's okay to be different and it's not okay to be mean to people who are different! and because someone might catch on

[im2tired4usernames]

You know if your church has an attitude that child education is a waste of time because God and revolutions is coming anytime and the world's just gonna end so the children don't need to waste time to know math and that you need to train them up right they just need to study the Bible and love God your church is lit just a dooms day cult and not even trying to hide it

[wisteriabookss]

An Extensive Analysis of Eris

The recent excerpt from ACOSF has got this fandom spinning on it’s head because it includes a feral-smiling Eris waltzing with Nesta. As a result, people have now delved deeper into his character and whether or not he deserves a redemption arc (or an arc of any kind). 

So naturally, he has been compared to Rhys, because Rhys also appeared to us in the beginning as a cruel, cunning person, who was eventually revealed to have a bigger heart, and a valid excuse (at least amongst the IC) for his behavior.

I made this post to mainly catalogue all that Eris has done, analyze his actions, see if he indeed can be compared to Rhys, and to determine whether or not he should have a redemption arc. 

What We Know So Far

Our first mention of Eris is in ACOMAF, when Rhysand is explaining to Feyre what happened to Mor. I could put the quotes here, but just to save some time I’m gonna make a long story short.

Mor’s father, Keir, declared that she was to be sold in marriage to Eris. Eris is known for being cruel, and Mor begged Rhys to stop it. Rhys brought her to the Illyrian camp for a few days, and she decided to sleep with Cassian in order to ruin her “pure” image. Because she slept with Cassian, Eris refused to marry her. Said, “she’d been sullied by a bastard-born lesser faerie, and he’d now sooner fuck a sow.” Her family, although it’s not said explicitly, basically beat her, and then dumped her body on the Autumn court border with a note nailed to her body that said she was Eris’s problem now. Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods.

Now, we’re going to look at what he exactly said during this event, given to us from Mor’s POV in ACOFAS:

“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.” 

Cold, unfeeling words. “But—but they nailed a—” 

“No one touches her.”

A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

Eris took a step away. Someone behind him blurted, “We can’t just leave her to—” 

“We can, and we will,” Eris said simply, his pace unfaltering as he strode away. 

“She chose to sully herself; her family chose to deal with her like garbage. I have already told them my decision in this matter.” A long pause, crueler than the rest. “And I am not in the habit of fucking Illyrian leftovers.”

Now that we have Mor’s side of the story, we’re going to look at what Eris has said about that fateful day during a discussion with the IC in ACOWAR:

Mor snarled, rattling the glasses. “You never gave any evidence to the contrary. Certainly not when you left me in those woods.”

“There were forces at work that you have never considered,” Eris said coldly. “And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me.”

. . . .

A frown at Mor as he drained his wine and set down the goblet. “I’m surprised you still can’t control yourself around him. You had every emotion written right on that pretty face of yours.”

“Watch it,” Azriel warned.

Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

A main takeaway from this is that there seems to be much more to story of what happened between Eris and Mor.

Does that mean him leaving her in the woods is excusable? No. Absolutely not. He didn’t try to take the nail out of her (which would’ve been the bare minimum), he didn’t alert Rhys that she was there, he didn’t do anything to help her. He started to make the situation even more traumatic by saying vile things to her. Whatever reason he gives for not helping her will be just that: a reason. But not an excuse. Those are two very different things.

Eris say’s that leaving her there is one of the few things he regrets. There’s something in that. I’m not saying under any circumstance that he should be forgiven because he feels guilty, thats stupid as hell, but it is showing that he’s not some apathetic, other-worldy evil person. There’s some semblance of a conscious in him. 

He also say’s that one day he’ll tell them why he did it and what it cost him. By what it cost him, I’m guessing he’s talking about the cost of ending his betrothal to Mor, because I can’t think of what he lost by leaving her there. 

I don’t think there’s been any mention of someone getting revenge on Eris because A.) Rhys told Feyre that, “Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.” and B) her family was obviously going to do nothing cause they’re the ones who hurt her.

I’m not going to try and theorize what cost Eris had to pay. It obviously is something (or someone) important to him.

But to me, one of the biggest things we got from this discussion is that it seems Eris knows Mor is gay. That secret smile of his that had Mor shrinking, the way he says he knows why she slept with Cassian, and that he gave Mor her freedom by ending the betrothal without giving a reason . . . he knows.

He knew she was gay, so he ended their engagement, no questions asked. And then Mor was dumped in his woods, and he did nothing to help. 

Morally grey, indeed.

(P.S. To the person that posted something along the lines of, “I can’t wait to see Mor’s face when she see’s Eris dancing with Nesta,” . . . get help)

Another excerpt I wanna look at also happens during the recent discussion we’ve just seen, but it has to do with Feyre and Lucien.

“You hunted me down like an animal,” I cut in. “I think we’ll choose to believe the worst.”

Eris’s pale face flushed. “I was given an order. And sent to do it with two of my … brothers.”

That little hesitation before he says ‘brothers’. . . sus. That’s all imma say. (maybe there’s more than one illegitimate son in that family . . .)

“And what of the brother you hunted down alongside me? The one whose lover you helped to execute before his eyes?”

Eris laid a hand flat on the table. “You know nothing about what happened that day. Nothing.”

Silence.

“Indulge me,” was all I said.

Eris stared me down. I stared right back.

“How do you think he made it to the Spring border,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t there— when they did it. Ask him. I refused. It was the first and only time I have denied my father anything. He punished me. And by the time I got free … They were going to kill him, too. I made sure they didn’t. Made sure Tamlin got word—anonymously—to get the hell over to his own border.”

Where two of Eris’s brothers had been killed. By Lucien and Tamlin.

Eris picked at a stray thread on his jacket. “Not all of us were so lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.”

We see another semblance of conscious here when Eris refuses to take part in the slaughtering of Jesminda. To even be in the same room as it. He then made sure that Lucien wasn’t going to die by making sure Tamlin was at his border. 

I’m not putting these quotes here to say, “Look, he cares about stuff , so let’s excuse everything he’s done.” No. There is no excusing any of his actions. Just like we can’t excuse Rhysand’s behavior in the first two books, or Cassian’s, or Nesta’s, or even Feyre’s, etc. But what we can do is see the reasons for their actions, and try and understand why they acted the way they did. They have their reasons, and Eris has his. (P.S. I’m not trying to compare what they’ve done, I’m just noting that they all had reasons to do what they’ve done, and they all deserve to be heard out.)

Comparison To Rhys

As I said earlier, Eris has drawn a lot of comparisons to Rhys. I agree with most of them.

This fandom has catalogued all of Rhys’s questionable actions like . . .

*TRIGGER WARNING: words like sexually assaulted*

Rhys sexually assaulting Feyre three times in the first book by drugging her, and then compelling her to give him lap dances in front of the folks Under The Mountain. He then displayed Feyre again in a sexual manner in the second book in front of The Court of Nightmares as, and I quote, “The High Lords Whore.” 

In both situations he could’ve done things so much differently. In the first book, he could’ve just, oh I don’t know, kept her in her cell? Or maybe brought her upstairs as a normal person?

And in the second one she literally could have been ANYTHING else. Everyone thinks she’s his prisoner, so why didn’t they go with that? Why couldn’t he have just dressed her in some raggedy-ass clothing, messed up her hair, and then tell her to act super stoic or frightened? Really Rhys, she just had to be your whore? (I know it was consensual but that doesn’t make her persona okay. He could’ve picked literally anything else)

Did he have his reasons for doing this? Yes. Does his reasons excuse what he did? No. You don’t have to make everyone else around you act a part just because you do.

So while we may not excuse Rhys’s actions, we can understand his reasons even if we don’t agree with them. Same with Eris. We know Eris has his reasons, and I doubt we’ll all agree with them, but he still has them.

Let’s also not forget that Rhysand made a deal with Eris and Keir that he would support Eris’s claim to the Autumn Court throne when Eris decides to kill his father for it. He also allowed Keir and his court to come into Velaris, and even though they’ll be turned away by every vendor, he still allowed them in. While he had his reasons for doing this (the Darkling army for ACOWAR) he still did it. It still hurt Mor.

Redemption Arc 

My biggest hesitation in thinking Eris will get a redemption arc is wondering where it would fit in the books for him to have one. We don’t know how if his waltz with Nesta is just a one-time thing or if it’s a result of a friendship between the two. The second book is supposed to be centered around Elain, Azriel, and Lucien, so that could also be a spot where he get’s an arc, maybe through a relationship with Lucian or Azriel. 

Either way, I’m not gonna bring down the hammer and say that he shouldn’t get a redemption arc. Tbh, the term ‘redemption arc’ kinda annoys me because it shouldn’t be about redeeming what was done in the past, but more about learning from past mistakes and taking the initiative to grow into a better person. That’s what I want for Eris. He’s not going to magically be revealed to be this super sweet fun-loving guy like Rhys. I don’t want him to be revealed like that either. 

I just want to see more of his character, see why he is the way he is, and, like i’ve said a million times in this post, know his reasons for acting the way he does. 

One last thing before I go. I’m not interested in seeing any relationship blossom between Eris and the IC, or Nesta, and I think it’s unlikely anyways. There’s a possibility for them to have an understanding, sure, but no friendship. I know there are some people who automatically adore Eris because they hate Mor and that’s just stupid. Mor isn’t my fav either, but I won’t cheer Eris on just because he hurt her. 

That’s all I’ve got. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate you. Really.

[blackdahlia-parker]

Snowstorm -Peter Parker x female reader

Summary: there’s a big snowstorm on the last day before the Christmas holidays which leaves the bus broken down and only Peter and y/n remain on it. As they both get closer to one another, What happens between them on a cold winters day?

Content: fluff ☽

You watched as Peter ran for his life to catch the bus home, through the bus’ back window. He was late again. Poor Peter began to stumble in the snow on the way. It was the last day of school before the Christmas holidays and the snow was everywhere. You were surprised that it hadn’t caused an avalanche somewhere or other. Cars were breaking down in the school parking lot and you hoped this wouldn’t happen to your cronky, old bus as you really needed to get home tonight. You were leaving for Switzerland in the morning to spend Christmas there with some relatives.You couldn’t afford to lose sleep to get up early for your long flight from Queens.

Much to your dismay, as the bus was turning out of the parking lot it came to a halt. Everyone huffed impatiently. The bus driver seemed impatient too. You could tell that this had been happening all through the day. On the other hand Peter Parker was relieved as he stopped running and signaled the driver to let him on the bus. You could see Peter scrambling on in a hurry. As if the bus was going to go somewhere anytime soon. The bus driver shook his head and laughed lightly “late again Parker? Well doesn’t really matter today, it doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere kid.” “Yeah....” Peter replied catching a glance at all the snow from the window of the bus as he bearly noticed this amount of it at first. Too focused on the bus leaving without him, as opposed to his other surroundings. The bus was still on stop as he went to find a seat. There was two empty seat in front of you, he stared at you for a moment before snapping back into reality and sitting down.

Peter was a bit of a dork, and by far the brainiest in your physics class. You always seem to be going for the popular guys because your friends believe that you have a reputation to hold, but secretly Peter was your type. Awkward but cute. As he sat in front of you his curls bounced a little on top of his head. His hair was covered in little snow droplets from outside. It was a beautiful sight. Lately you’ve just been noticing little things about Peter and god, he was so much more attractive in your eyes, than the confident guys. There he was sitting in his oldie worldie flannel and oversized sweater and corduroy trousers. His sneaker laces untied and his backpack slung over his shoulders high up on his back.

Finally after about 25 minutes when the driver turned the keys in the ignition again, the bus rumbled but started. Lots of cheering came from the very back, “Weheyy”. Couldn’t they just shut up and let the man concentrate? Peter remained quiet though as always. Peter hadn’t realised that you’d been looking at him as he was the one infront. But you came to his mind yet again and he turned to admire the way your hair flowed down gracefully. And the beautiful side angle of your face as you focused on the white snow outside the window. You looked back towards the front as you realised someone was looking. Not being disappointed when you saw Peters face looking back at you. Did he like you? “Hi?” You smiled but also questioned his staring action. His eyes went wide as you spoke. His expression changed from a kind of daydream to a ‘shocked that you’d caught him’ look “umm h-hi” he replied hurriedly as he turned his head quickly to look in another direction. He internally grumbled at himself, worried he’d come across as rude by cutting the conversation short. “You alright Pete?” You questioned him. “Yeah....y-yeah f-fine thanks”. He replied all too quickly and blushed. You blushed too but Peter was clueless. He had no idea that a girl like you would ever like him so he was embarrassed by the fact that you’d caught him looking. God you were gorgeous. Peter had had a crush on you for ages. He daydreams a lot about you in class and just about anywhere really...in church and at the most inappropriate times. But he couldn’t help it. He was lovesick, starstruck. But he had to accept that you would never look at him the way he looked at you. His colossal fear was rejection, so he’d just admire from afar. Although he couldn’t quite believe he had the chance to sit this close to you.

The bus was going good, getting everybody from one stop to another on all the different streets, dropping people off on the way. There was hardly no people left on the bus now. Just you and Peter and three others. You were pretty sure that the next stop was his. Yours was the furthest away from the school, at least another 20 minutes away. Just then the bus came to an abrupt stop and the engine sounds faded. And this wasn’t a stop. Great. The bus had been stuck for the last 10 minutes. The snow was worse on this street , and getting worse at that. It was falling down heavily form the dark grey sky. It was gonna be a full on storm. Just what you need for you flight in the early hours of the morning. The other three pupils got off the bus and assured th driver that it was fine for them to walk. He was on the phone trying to contact another driver so he just nodded at them while showing a thumbs up. Just you and Peter where left. Why was he waiting? Surely he could walk from here?

It was getting quite late now with all the delays it was around 5:30 and already getting dark because well ...it’s winter. Although you were inside the bus, the heater had also broken and you felt sharp cold needles on your skin. You began to get a bit frustrated as you needed to get home as soon as possible to pack and get a good nights sleep. If it’s still like this in the morning you might not even be able to make it to Switzerland. You rang your mom but she seemed to be stuck in it too, on the way back from work , so there was no way she could pick you up either. You must admit , Queens looked stunning in th snow. Rooftops of the high rise buildings were white. Along with the windows and the ground was covered. The tips of decorated pine trees were also white and the scene looked photograph worthy.

Peter was within walking distance from his flat where he lived with his aunt May but he couldn’t leave y/n alone on the bus with no lift. He felt sorry for you as he heard you talking to your mom on the phone. Looks like you’d be on this bus for a while. He considered offering you to walk back with him to his and May’s apartment before anything more disastrous happened with they storm coming down thick. That is why he waited for you on the bus, to finish talking on the phone so he could ask. He was really nervous. You seemed nice enough. He’d spoken to you before in class but you were way out of his league so this was just a friendly offer for you to come back to his place, and nothing more. But then he remembered something and then couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he’d just remembered. Aunt May was out for the night tonight so it would be just him and y/n. Oh god! He panicked a bit inside but he had to offer. He’d feel guilty if he didn’t.

Peter was still on the bus as you got off the phone. He looked nervous for what reason you don’t know. But then unexpectedly he picked up some confidence and turned to you to ask a lovely question. But that sudden burst of confidence didn’t stop his awkward stuttering along the way as his words came out of his poor mouth all at once. “W-would you m-maybewannawalk home l-I mean walk back t-to myplacewithme...f-from here? It’s-it’s not very f-far?”

You knew that you had to be back as early as possible tonight to pack, but as it is now that wasn’t going to happen anyway. How could you ever say no to adorable Peter Parker. You could just imagine him in tears if your reply was ‘no’. The image was too much to bear. He’s just so sweet. “Yes please, that would be lovely. But are you sure?” Oh my god....she just said yes....she just said yes, he thought to himself. He couldn’t quite believe it. A girl like her. But it was , just to my house, just to my apparent...he told himself to calm down as it was no big deal. “What-? Um good, yeah um great , it’s fine my aunt wouldn’t mind. Are you sure you want to though?” He messed up his words big time. You giggled and he looked extremely embarrassed. “Yes Peter, I’m sure that I want to come, only now I was saying that it would be lovely. It’s not as if I’ve just agreed to do a bungee jump off a cliff or something” “A-alright and y-yeah m-maybe not...I’m glad you didn’t decide to do a jump. Anyway, y-yay okay then...l-let’s go” you and Peter got off the bus and waved to the driver who was still trying to solve things, then you replied to Peters previous comment about not wanting you to do a jump. “Aww...are you concerned about my safety Pete?” He blushed a little too much for his liking. He decided to be bold and lie. “N-no” but it was the wrong decision. “Harsh” you mocked, mouth wide open. Peter thought you were being serious and got worried so he took it all back and admitted the truth. “No, no, I’m sorry y/n...I didn’t mean it like that....of course I would care if you hurt yourself bungee jumping. I would be concerned about your safety. I was just talking stupid. I’d hate to see you falling. I couldn’t stand to see your pretty face all bleeding and hurt. No, no, no!” He was rambling like Peter does best. But then he panicked, the last bit came out too quickly. He hoped you didnt hear. He was internally shouting at himself. Scared that that would have creeped you out, calling you such a word. Maybe you’d think that he’d been staring at your face a little too often.

Peter had said all these dramatic words about you hurting yourself, in the middle of the street. Snow crunch beneath your feet. You wanted to give Peter a hug for this. But your face couldn’t stay serious. You couldn’t keep it in any longer and just burst out laughing. “Phaaa”. He looked a bit offended “I’m sorry peter, it is really nice to know that you care about me, but honestly there was no need to take me so seriously. You weren’t being harsh....it was just a joke. And you do know that I’m not even planning on doing a bungee jump anytime soon right? Like you went off on a whole rant about not wanting me to do it. But that’s really cute. But the pretty face bit though? Did you mean it?”

“Thank goodness” Peter sighed in relief. “Um....what pretty face?.....” his eyes widened in realisation as he recalled what he had said about you. “Oh um....well y-yes....you are a pretty face.....I-i mean yes your face is pretty....like your....eyes, y-your hair and your umm n-nose” ‘What?!’ He thought to himself, as the word ‘nose’ accidentally coming from his mouth, even he thought to himself that liking a nose was a bit....different put it like that. You went a bit red at his words and smiled at him. You decided to mock him. “Www...Petey...I think your the one that’s falling...not me. And your not even doing the jump either” you nudged him as you both approached his appartment in Queens. “Shut up” he gushed, not looking directly at you. But the truth is you were falling too. But then he actually did fall...well slipped....up the steps to his apparent....you giggled as he made an angry expression toward the path that was covered in whiteand with that, he ‘accidentally’ grabbed your hand to ‘stabilise himself’ and you just went along with it , holding onto his hand actually felt cozy and nice, speckles of snow were falling from the sky....it almost looked and felt romantic until he grabbed the key from his pocket and slipped again, falling for real this time, you saw it in slow motion and his hand slipped away from yours and he smacked down on his butt in the snow by the door he was about to unlock. But we all know that the actual cause wasn’t the snow....it was tripping over his own foot ....and falling for you of course ;) He looked embarrassed and grumpy while he got up ....and you laughed you head off. He wasn’t hurt at least. And he finally opened the door leading to the complex from outside. You both scrambled in from the cold but it wasn’t that warm inside.

You both walked up the shared access stairs until you reached his apartment’s door. He unlocked it, and you both walked in....the warmth finally hitting your ‘pretty face’ :) ......

A/N: I am intending to do a part two if anyone wants to see what happens, this is my first fanfic so I hope you like it. Thank you to anyone who reads it. 🖤

[notaimannoor]

Last Words.

I've broken up with her for half a year now. Although I've suffered from depression and anxiety way before I met her. The break up was a catalyst to my suicidal thoughts. It's not her fault. She found someone better. There's always going to be someone better than me. I've always known that. I guess I hoped that I'd get picked instead. I just hoped I get to be happy too.

I can't be happy. I tried, I really did. God knows how much money I spent on shoes and clothes and starbucks just to feel joy. But it never comes. I can't feel it. I don't know what else to do. I gave up. I can't get that feeling again. My happiness when I was with her. I could really have anything in the world but it couldn't amount to her company. Any money or property or material things I have I wanted to share it with her. All of this, worldy possession means nothing to me if I couldn't have her.

The thing is, I think I still have feelings for her. I still think she is the most beautiful and perfect person I have ever met. I still think I was blessed to have spent two years with her. I still fall for her smile. God, that beautiful smile. Her voice, her laugh, the way she pouts when she sulks. The way she smells. The way she screams when she's playing around with me. How excited she is when she talks about her nephews, and her cats, and her rabbits. There isn't anything wrong with her. I can't look at her flaws as flaws. Instead, I see her flaws as beautiful pieces that make up the perfect puzzle that she is.

Let's face it. Nothing really ever affects me than a relationship. It was the same with my first ex. God how embarrassed I was remembering how I went full psycho that time. But really that is my point. Spend enough time with me, and you know I'm just like any other person. I do try to be nice to everyone just like how momma taught me. I laugh at the same thing other people laugh. I do things like other people do. Pretty normal stuff. I was confident. I used to speak at pretty big events. International events. I was a peformer. I wasn't big. But we did performed at a lot of places. In front of a lot of different people. We actually opened for Aizat Amdan and peformed for the late Sultan of Perak. Pretty big event if you ask me. But I was never afraid, I was confident. I was brave. I could handle whatever life throws at me. Poverty, sickness, work, anything really. But when it comes to relationships, when it comes to breakups, fuck I become so weak.

People just handle things differently I guess. But if I ever put 110% into anything, it's gotta be my relationships. I'm a romantic. I'm a lover not a fighter. I like novels, not sports. I write poems, not kick balls. I hang out a lot with my friends, but I never talk about love stuff or quotes or anything. I'm the 'treat you like a princess' kind of guy. I'm the 'randomly buy you chocolates cause I want to' kind of guy. I like spending time with you and look at your pictures when I can't.

I'm not a bad person. Really. Yeah sure, I've been psychotic, desperate, straight up crazy these past few months. I'm not a reckless driver, I don't have road rage. But these past few months I am, and I do. But honestly what happened really changed me. I saw what it did to myself. The negativity and bad traits building up inside me because of it. This is not me. I don't like what I've become. But I don't know how to stop it.

I'm a loyal person. Maybe it is bad. Fuck, it is bad. But honestly it isn't if this was last year. It's bad because she doesn't feel the same way. It's bad because this love is destroying me. If we were still in a relationship it isn't bad is what I'm trying to say. I did try to get over it. Over her. Met a lot of girls, went here and there. Did things I always wanted to do. Bought things I always wanted to buy. But nothing. Nothing really fills this empty hole inside me.

I do wish things ended differently. I do wish I was strong enough, but I'm not. I do love everybody, I am grateful for everything I have. But I'm just not happy. I'm not living. I'm just breathing and surviving. I wish I could say these things and not be labeled repetitive, or ungrateful, or desperate, or attention seeking. If I could stop feeling like this, if I could stop loving her, I would. But I can't. God damn it I can't. Fuck I can't okay? Please understand that I did everything I can. But honestly, aku sentap gak dengan the reaction of some people closest to me, who I consider friends and family. When I opened up. You know who you are I guess. But I want it to stop I want this to stop. Enough. I gave up a long time ago. But I set out that my family could celebrate raya with me one last time. And I survived. God knows how hard it is to survive. Really, it took everything I have to survive each and every day. But I'm tired, and I'm done.

I prepared everything. I settled my debts. I put all my passwords of all my accounts on social media on my phone's notes. So that anyone can deactivate them. Fuck, I am scared. But I really want this. I've thought about this every day for the past 6 months.

I always thought of myself as a writer. But a writer, a poet is supposed to convey emotions through their literature. Make people feel something. I realised that I couldn't even do that. I guess I am a failed writer too. Last words? I honestly don't know what I want to be my last words. All I could think of is ending my life. I don't expect anyone to uderstand, I don't really care. I'm just going to be that guy who killed himself. I guess my last words would be a request. To anyone who reads this I guess, not that I expect anyone to. Think about all the good times you had with me, instead of the emotional fuck up I was in recent months. Think of me that way, remember me like that, the happy Aiman. Because I think about him all the time.