#word count wise i have written about (counts) eight 'books' in the past four years but this is actually original and meant to be something

[t4tvglow]

so. i completed my first draft of my new book! yay!

[llollypopy]

Somnium sidereum

You can read this on AO3 here

Summary: Jungkook thought his ship was going to sail successfully in the new, unfamiliar waters but instead he sank. He sank so deep that he thought he was hopeless, he kept choking on the dirty water until one day, right when he was going to give up the battle in the middle of Paris, one angel of a man saves him. In all shapes and forms of the word. Or:

Nurse and artist Jungkook lives in Paris, has suicidal thoughts and dangerous sweetheart Taehyung stops him before he could take his own life then disappears only for them to meet again in Korea and to completely fall for eachother and save eachother.

Ships: Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung | V, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope and Min Yoongi | Suga

Tags: Suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, Top Kim Taehyung | V, bottom Jeon Jungkook, Français | French, French Characters, Jungkook speaks French, a little bit of Sope, Doctor Jeon Jungkook, Artist Jeon Jungkook, Tattoo Artist Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook & Min Yoongi | Suga are best friends, Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin are best friends

Notes:

Hi! This is a little longer work of mine, it's not finished so there will be few chapters following.

Feel free to like it and leave a comment, and enjoy!

There are translations in the end but it's written so you can understand the French sentences from the context.

\\

The annoying sound of the alarm from his bedside table woke him up once again.

7:30am

The same cycle that repeated every day was going to make another turn today too, and Jungkook wasn't feeling like waking up. Wobbly feet touched the cold floor and he looked around. The bright blue sky with few gentle, cotton-like cloulds drifting aimlessly, the soft and warm rays from the sun and the light, chilly breeze that was coming trough the open windows Jungkook forgot to close once again didn't stand a chance against the darkness within the boy. His entire body was sore and exhausted despite the good eight hours of sleep because he overworked his body once again. He had a habit of working out until he felt like passing out, hoping the physical muscule pain was going to surpass the pain that was gnawing at his heart and the better looking body was going to make him feel good for once. But it didn't work. Not even once.

He got up once he assumed his knees were strong enough, he stretched his arms and his eyes landed on the wall oposite of him.

"Loner" it said in black, cursive letters he wrote with black acrylic paint almost two years ago when he moved in the small appartment in a peaceful part of Paris.

Around the cursive written word there were numerous of pictures and polaroids stuck on the wall, all of them held so many sweet memories, moments Jungkook cherished so much and which brought pain and nostalgia to his heart each time he landed eyes on them. All of the pictures had the same people in them, people Jungkook grew up with, people Jungkook missed from the depths of his soul. On some pictures the people were around 12, on others they were in their teens and on some they looked far more grown up, in their twenties. One particular picture, which was right below the word "loner" on the wall, had all of the people in it. They were grown up but still had that lively, childlike shine in their eyes, except one person. Jungkook. He was wearing comfortable clothes, huge backpack and his luggage was right by his side. He was in the centre of the picture, smiling but everyone could see through that smile, he wasn't happy on that picture, he looked confused, lost. The others weren't happy as well, some of them were even teared up but they were genuinely smiling because they wished Jungkook the best.

That picture was taken the day Jungkook left South Korea in search for a new life, for a new career, for something great, but the truth was he was searching for himself. The people on his left and right were his best friends, the closest thing to family he had and they were saying goodbye to him, wishing him all the luck in the new waters he was about to dive in.

But Jungkook found none of that luck and happiness in France, where he had moved and lived almost two years now. Instead he longed for those people, he wished he could see them once again, wondered what they were doing, how they've been, wondered if they were the same. Those questions weren't satisfied by the short, occasional phonecalls or texting sessions he had with them from time to time. He missed them.

You could say Jungkook loved pain. That's why he chose that certain word to be the root of all of those pictures glued around it. He wanted to remind himself that he was a loner indeed because he had left those people behind, he practically lost them because in Jungkook's mind he was sure they were doing better off without him, even maybe forgot him, and he had failed to build a new life in France meet new people and upgrade himself. He had failed. He failed and lost everything and all he had now was his boring job as a nurse, dozens of canvases and paint bottles across his appartment, his tons of books that waited to be studied because he was enrolled in the Paris Faculty of Medicine and himself. Not a single friend, not a single soul to worry for him, to wait for him to get home late at night, to ask him how his day had been, to ask him what was wrong when he was sad. And he didn't count on his past friends for that, it always hurted thinking of them.

This day he stared at the wall way longer than he usually would. That was because last night he decided to go to one of the most famous clubs in Paris on the initiative of his colleague and Jungkook saw a spark of hope in that invitation, maybe a new friendship, maybe he was going to meet someone there, have some fun, take someone home, feel something, like in the movies, but he ended up going home early because he was too disappointed in everything, in himself, and had the longest crying session in his life last night, followed by insane workout that lasted until 3 hours past midnight.

"I really don't belong anywhere" Jungkook mumbled, quietly enough so the soft breeze could wash the words away but loud enough to hear himself. And that was the thought that was etched in his mind ever since last night. He had never been so lost. As he stared at the pictures, recognizing the moments those were taken at, he was becoming more and more sure that he actually belonged with his friends back in Korea, that they were the ones that would accept him and love him unconditionally even if he didn't have that opinion back then. Back then he thought they were tired of him. But he couldn't brush off the thought that maybe if he went back now they would laugh at him for failing at everything, for being the biggest loser ever, for not being capable to make a single friend in two years time, he couldn't stop thinking that maybe he wasn't going to be able to fit in his old group of friends. He hsd mixed feelings. Maybe, maybe he really didn't belong anywhere. Maybe it wasn't meant for him to be loved, to have someone by his side, to be able to face what life threw at his face.

"Stop being so pathetic" he scolded himself and he turned his back to the wall, walking across the livingroom and to the small bathroom. He indeed was pathetic.

One photo, with him and all his friends sitting on their bench in the school yard, stayed in his mind from how long he had been staring at it just now, and he smiled subconsciously, going back to his high school days.

Flashback

"Jungkook!" Jungkook heard his name being called as he walked through the glass door of their high school. It was their third year in that school and Jungkook's first, he moved schools after he finished second year, the main reason being that all of his friends were in his present high school. Now he was able to see them every single day and seventeen year old Jungkook was the happiest.

"Hey Yoon, sorry I'm lat-"

"Spare me from your excuses, Kook, we got used to you being late every single day"

Jungkook chuckled at the comment Yoongi, his best friend, made and just followed him to the inner school yard, this school was the only one to have it and it was a really nice place, the walls of the school facility that surrounded the yard from all four sides were covered with legally student-made graffiti there were nicely organised benches along with green surfaces.

"I really can't hear Jimin brag about his maths exam now" Jungkook sighed as they walked to one particular bench, a really long one, blue, that had '3JHYN' engraved with a key on their first day of third year in highschool. Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Namjoon.

Jungkook was too busy talking with Jimin about their after school art class to notice Hoseok had arrived and now they were complete. Said boy back hugged Yoongi and he giggled, turning around to kiss Hoseok the moment Jungkook looked at them. He smiled lightly but no matter how much he tried to be happy about them two, there was something inside him that was eating that happiness. He was so used to the enormous attention he got from his best friend Yoongi, they had known eachother for 13 years and now suddenly someone else was receiving all of that.

"Anyways, Jimin, I think the professor said class starts at 2pm. So we got, what, one spare hour?" He said and Jimin nodded. "We should use it wisely" Jimin joked, seductively moving his eyebrows up and down which made him and Jungkook laugh. Jimin was always, in the full meaning of the word always, doing dirty jokes like that. Just like Hoseok. Jungkook was simply awestruck when he figured out how soft and gentle and easily hurt Jimin was, little by little he could notice what a big heart the boy had and how careful he was towards the others even if his behaviour left a first impression of a jokester and a cocky guy.

"No I'm pretty sure Yoongi took the CD with 'San Andreas'" Jungkook overheard Jin say and Jimin rolled his eyes.

"Why do you care about GTA? That game is as old as dinosaurs" Jungkook said and Namjoon laughed.

"Really, Jin, Yoongi can keep it" Namjoon added.

"It's not that I care but I want Yoongi to give it back to me, I'll give him another game, i want my GTA back" Jin sighed dramatically, as if he was hurt to the bone. Jungkook couldn't really muster why they included Yoongi in this or what was going on with the CD with the game but he shrugged it off.

"Next time we do that I might give you Counter Strike, Yoongi, that way your old game collection will be complete" Jimin said and everyone broke down laughing while Yoongi and Hoseok paid no attention, they were in their own world.

"Wait, do what?" Jungkook finally asked, sensing that there was something he had missed in the conversation.

"Next time we gather- wait.. why didn't you come?" Jin said and Jungkook felt that familiar burning sensation in his stomach so he took out his pack of cigarettes and lit up one, taking a drag.

"I don't get it"

"We gathered at Yoongi's and we all brought some games, well it was something like Secret Santa since it's almost Christmas, just it wasn't secret" jin explained and Jimin wheezed, he was a mess when it came to explanations.

"We just gave eachother games we think the other would like" namjoon added. "Why didn't you come?" Jungkook heard the question again and he felt a lump form in his throat so he inhaled again from his cigarette. "No one called me" he said, gritting his teeth because his voice broke. "Oh, Yoongi didn't? We told him to call you" Jimin said, having an apologetic expression.

"Yoongi" namjoon called him and he turned around but Hoseok kissed his neck before he could speak and made him giggle.

"Hey Yoonie" Jungkook called him now and Yoongi didn't pay him any attention, too busy fighting Hoseok's tickles.

That took a toll on Jungkook's feelings, it hurted, and after he finished his cigarette he stepped on it, disappointed it didn't fix his hurt feelings, while looking at his friends. "I'll go now, gotta revise" he said but before he could go Hoseok stepped in his way. "Just a second, Kook, let's take a picture, we want you to be in it too" he said with his bright voice ans happy smile and Jungkook just smiled, nodding.

Present

That's where that picture was from on Jungkook's wall. He could still feel the slight hurt he felt when his own best friend forgot to invite him.

That was one of the turning points of Jungkook's life.

It was as if he was blind to so many things that were right in front of his eyes. Everyone told him Yoongi thought of Jungkook as his number one, as his best buddy and his home, if home could be a person, but Jungkook wasn't feeling it, he wasn't seeing it, and so he got off those waters only to dive in new, dangerous ones. And find absolutely nothing.

Shanking his head as if he had something in his hair or as if he was trying to avoid something around his head he shook off the thoughts, the happily painful memories that one by one started to come round in his mind. He washed up, brushed his teeth with his bamboo toothbrush he bought the other day, "at least I'm useful for saving the planet" was his thought while he was paying for the article, he tried to fix his messy, slightly long hair that recently was beginning to get really wavy and frizzy.

All done he was after he put a pair of black pants, oversized jumper which covered all of his arm and chest tattoos he had and took his leather backpack. He was ready to go to work at the hospital that was about twenty minutes away from his appartment so he needn't use the car he didn't even own or a bike. He loved to walk there.

"Bonjour"¹ Jungkook smiled at the old lady in the bakery right around the corner, a sweet, greeting smile that, if you looked hard enough, screamed for a little bit of extra love and attention.

"Bonjour, mon chéri, qu'aime-tu aujourd'hui?"² The lady asked him, even though she knew his usual order, they grew close enough that she felt free to drop the honorifics.

"Deux croissants et thé vert, s'il te plaît"³

Jungkook responded, he didn't want to call himself a basic person but he loved croissants and he hated green tea but it made him feel better after drinking it.

After he gave the usual six euros to the lady and waved at her goodbye he pushed the paper bag in his black leather backpack and carried on walking down the already busy street. It was winter but gladly there was no snow, Jungkook hated it. But he loved the way he felt hot after walking for a while and the chilly wind bit at his cheeks, nose and lips, making him pull his woolen scarf up to his nose and snuggle in it. Maybe his brain detected the soft material for a person, for someone who can possibly give Jungkook a little bit of love and warmth, but it was only an object.

His doe-like round eyes, resembling almonds, scanned the streets, the cozy cafes, greyish and yellowish colours dominating the city, painting it with beautiful shades for his eyes to admire. He noticed the bare trees, leafless, they looked lonely, just like him. He really wanted to paint them, he wanted to paint the view of the city like this, in these colours and have it in memory forever. And Jungkook couldn't help but imagine what would it feel like to walk here with his significant other, with a person he loves deeply and a person who loves him too, it ripped his heart knowing he had never really felt true love, he had never loved somebody for who they were, for how happy they made Jungkook, for their smile or eyes. Love was unfamiliar for him. And that hurted.

"Bonjour!" The secretary greeted him once he walked through the glass doors that swung back and forth in the hospital and Jungkook was getting tired of all the bonjours. Nevertheless, he greeted her back, making effort in smiling back at her while examining her long, blonde hair, she was a brunette yesterday which meant a new hairstyle but he had no intention in bringing it up, he wasn't as close with his coworkers.

"Je vous informe que nous travailerons jusqu'à 3 heures aujourd'hui, monsieur"⁴ she added and Jungkook only nodded as if he wasn't surprised that the work time had been shortened drastically, probably because of the upcoming holidays. He didn't care about the holidays, he was going to work until 3pm and that was fascinating news.

He headed to the main nurse room which was on the first floor and after closing the dark wooden door behind him he took out his uniform from his backpack which he had taken home to wash because he had spilled coffee all over it the other day. Before he dressed up for work he sat down on one of the chairs, took out his breakfast that was still hot and started eating quickly, his shift was starting in 10 minutes. He could see tired faces preparing to go home from the night shift, dark bags under their exhausted eyes but they still managed to function and even have solid conversations with eachother.

Everyone who passed by Jungkook, greeted him. It wasn't like his colleagues didn't like him, no, they actually adored him because sometimes, very rare and precious times, Jungkook let loose, he would drop a joke here and there and let the people have a glimpse of his real self before he was back to his usual lifeless representation of Jeon Jungkook. And that was one of the reason why everyone respected him, the other being his crazy nursing skills and knowledge. How did an artist get into nursery and was studyingto become a doctor? That was an interesting topic but not for Jungkook. His parents, being doctors, both of them, wanted Jungkook to respectively become one too and continue the family chain of doctors. Jungkook didn't want to be a doctor. Not because he hated the medical studies, he had to admit to himself, the whole science about the human body fascinated him and he wanted to know a lot about it but he wanted to be an artist. To paint and sell paintings or to be a grafic designer for a famous company, or make posters for movies, or make logos for brands, anything that involved creativity and art, his two strong sides he always relied on. And Jungkook was willing to go against his parents' will, he did argue a lot with them, there were days where he would scream at them on top of his lungs how he didn't want to be a doctor. Such day was the day he saw his mother and father for the last time. They were going to work in the evening, for their night shift, with Jungkook shouting how he didn't want to be what they whated him to be, he wanted to follow his own dream and his own path and not study medicine. He was telling them they were the worst parents and so on.

That night they had a car crash and Jungkook wanted to end it all when he got the devastating news. He had never ever in his life felt worse. He felt like trash, like an ungrateful, useless idiot that got his parents killed because he couldn't cotrol his emotions, thoughts and teenage hormones. He still remembered that morning when his phone rang and an unfamiliar voice from the other side told him his parents had passed away. He could still feel the pain, like something burned right trough his heart, like a little part of him was ripped away. That sunny morning, the darkest one for him, he had promised himself to follow his parents' path, to make them the proudest, to become the best doctor ever, in their honour, to save lives because he apparently couldn't save his parents and no matter what the guilt stuck with him forever.

2:50pm

Jungkook put on his disposable medical gloves, feeling the uncomfortable pouder within the gloves and on his hands but he had gotten used to it, and smiled at his last patient while he took a piece of cotton, dipped it in the disinfection alcohol in a dark brown, glass bottle and cleaned the inside elbow area of the patient's pale arm. She looked sick and tired but also uneasy, so Jungkook, as by protocol, asked her

"Avez-vous peur des aiguilles, mademoiselle?"⁵

Most of the patients did fear needles so when she shook her head no Jungkook decided against asking any further questions, he never wanted to barge in his patients' private lives.

"Bien"⁶ he smiled at her, he always tried to be as friendly as possible with his patients, and after unpacking the sterile needle and syringe he searched for an adequate vein under her soft skin before he prodded trough it and watched the syringe fill with red liquid. He could tell her health wasn't in the best state because her blood looked more like pinkish water but he was going to let the lab workers figure that out.

"C'est ça"⁷ he said after he took out the needle and instantly pressed on the area with the same cotton pad. He transferred the blood in a test tube, and removed his gloves.

That was really it, he was done for the day. But instead of feeling happiness and content that he was finally going to go home and relax he felt uneasy, because he knew more feeling empty hours were ahead of him in the lonely place he called his home, more staring at the photos on the wall, more self hatred, more crying. He would rather stay at work.

Today's sky was the most beautiful thing Jungkook had ever seen. It was twilight, thanks to the weird winter time schedule Jungkook barely ever understood, it was complete darkness by four in the afternoon and now it was three, and the sky was pink and orange and yellow and a little bit of blue, soft, cotton clouds bathing in those vivid colours. It seemed like nature paid the most talented painter to do the sky so pretty. Maybe it was Jungkook, he loved painting skies, sunsets and sunrises, he always seeked motivation in nature's pretty works amd this one was a must-do.

He was walking on the bridge now, that connected both lands on each side of Seine, while his round, mesmerised eyes still stared up at the sky. When he was halfway across he bridge he realised that the sun was setting right where Seine was flowing to, making the quick and unsteady waters of the river reflect the sky, painting the most breathtaking view in Jungkook's life.

It was slowly getting darker, the colours were starting to fade and turn to more purplish tones and Jungkook halted right in the middle of thebridge, walked to the edge just to stare into that colourful abyss. It was hypnotising, mysterious, now that some stars were visible and the sky was an angry pink, orange and purple colour, along with the river. It felt, just for a moment as if Jungkook was in another galaxy, in another world, and he imagined, if that was possible, would he be happy there? Would things be better? Would everything in his life fall back in place and most importantly, would Jungkook feel happy, full, and not lonely?

He couldn't imagine such world, feeling loved and happy had become unfamiliar to him and the thought of that angered him.

As if the burning sky set fire in his soul, Jungkook felt it burn, he felt all of the empty emotions nibble his heart and fill his eyes that were also reflecting the gorgeous sky. Just like the river did. He looked down at it, the waters looked pretty, free, flowing forth and carrying all that beauty from the sky. He wondered, if he would dive into Seine, would his wounds heal? Maybe the beauty of the water filling his lungs would fix things. He was so desperate for something, anything that would drag him out of his pathetic state right now, something that would make him feel, something that would make him feel loved and appreciated.

Or someone.

He hadn't noticed when he had started crying, it was soundless, just crystal clear tears rolling down his red cheeks and they reflected the sky too.

He hadn't noticed then he was standing on the very edge of the bridge, on the other side of the barricade.

But little by little, day by day, he had noticed how things were getting worse, his emptiness was growing rapidly, uncontrollably and there was no one to tame it or to kill it. He was craving for a warm hug, for a sweet smile and few gentle words that would make his heart beat faster and would make his cheeks blush, he wanted to feel the love and kill the loneliness but he was failing horribly. So instead, he decided to at least see his parents once again, to remove a parasite from this world and make it easier for him and the world.

"Non! Qu'est-ce que tu fais?!"⁸ He heard a voice, a deep and raspy one but honey-like, was it calling for Jungkook?

Translations:

¹ "hello!"

² "hello, sweetheart, what would you like today?"

³ "two croissants and green tea, please"

⁴ "I inform you that we will work until 3 o'clock today, sir"

⁵ "do you have a fear of needles, miss?"

⁶ "alright" / "good"

⁷ "that's it"

⁸ "no! What are you doing?!"

[humansofhds]

Chantal Sanchez, MTS ’22

“I'm from Southern California. My first time actually leaving California was to come all the way to Boston for my undergrad at Boston College. I studied physics there during my first year, until luckily, being at a Catholic school, I was forced to take theology and philosophy. That's how I fell in love with theology.”

Chantal Sanchez, MTS ’22, is a second-year MTS student studying South Asian religions and is a member of the Harvard Buddhist Community's Buddhism and Race speaker series planning committee.

From Academic Decathlon to Lifelong Passion

During my senior year of high school, I quit the softball team and joined something called “academic decathlon,” which was basically like a nerd competition. It was all the seven subjects – econ, science, math, social science, literature, music, art – and then speech, interview, and an essay. Every year, the competition focuses on a specific subject. The year I joined, it was all about India. So I learned an obscene amount about India.

At the end of that year, I graduated and started at Boston College as a physics major. We had a few key requirements, including theology and cultural diversity. When I saw there was a Hinduism class that counted for cultural diversity, I was like, cool – I just learned all about India. So I took that class, along with another in comparative Islam and Christianity. Starting with those classes, I fell in love with the study of theology. In my Hinduism class, in particular, I realized I enjoy the work. I had developed a relationship with the professor, and I was loving what we were learning. By my sophomore year, I had switched my major from physics to theology.

Fast forward to the end of sophomore year, as I was preparing to study abroad in France. I heard from my Hinduism professor that there was a study abroad in Nepal that I didn't know about. I changed my plans, and I ended up doing a language program for three weeks in India before flying to Kathmandu, Nepal, for four months of study abroad.

For the academic decathlon in high school, I had learned Indian history from the beginning of time all the way up to the current day. I remember seeing a picture of the wind palace, Hawa Mahal, when I was studying during my senior year of high school. On study abroad, I actually got to see it in real life, in Jaipur. I had learned so much from books, so much about India’s historical background, deities, and iconography. Before going there, I knew that book religion is very different than place practice, as it always is. But seeing the doctrines and beliefs I had learned about in real life was transformative.

My studies abroad solidified things for me: I would specialize in South Asian religions. Today, that's what I'm doing at HDS.

Curiosity and Faith

I grew up in a secular household. My mom was 17 when she had me, so she was a child herself. She didn’t know what religion was, and she didn't really want to force anything on us. We actually shopped around different religions, like Latter Day Saints, Jehovah's Witness, a myriad of random Christian churches in So-Cal. A lot of them were hippie types of places – just music the whole time. I think we even went to a temple. When I was 12 she told me and my sister, you guys figure it out. I'm not going to tell you what to believe.

For a while, I was just kind of neutral to religion. I felt like I respected human beings, regardless of their beliefs. But I was still curious about faith. I always wondered, what is it about people that makes them believe? I always thought about it, especially the way religion connects so many people in the world.

During my study abroad in college, I often went to the Shiva temple with my host family in Nepal. There was one random Sunday when I was on my way to meet up with some friends from school, and I had an intense need to go to the Shiva temple on my own. I thought, OK, I already know the routine: I circumambulate this tree, touch this, do this. So I did it, on my own. Stopping at the temple became part of my routine for walking to school every day.

There was another moment when I was studying at the Buddhist monastery in Nepal, where there were practicing monks of all ages. One of my teachers was actually a Buddhist monk, who taught us, verse by verse, one of their founding texts, just as if we were monks in the monastery as well. I remember once, my friend and I went down to daily puja, which means worship. This worship involved a lot of sounds. They blow horns, there's a drum, and sometimes they chant. We were sitting and meditating in this cacophony of noises, which might surprise some people who don't think that's how you practice, especially meditation-wise. But it was in that moment of being drowned by all these sounds that I found clarity. I realized this is for me.

After being at a monastery and having these experiences, I've recently fully identified as Buddhist. I have my own Buddhist shrine altar. I’m on an interesting journey.

Coming to HDS

As a first-gen college student, I didn't know anything about college. I didn't even know Boston College was Jesuit until I got there, which is ridiculous. I had a theology professor during my freshman year who really helped me figure out that college is meant to explore what you think, not just to get a job. The job will come later, she told me, as long as you find your interests.

This professor, along with my Hinduism professor and another theology professor, helped lay the stepping stones for me. That path ultimately led me to grad school.

As I geared up for grad school applications, I was looking for schools that would support my specific studies. But I also loved the Jesuit values of Boston College, which is very much whole-person oriented. That was something I had in mind as well, that I wanted an environment that would develop me as a person.

I did Diversity and Explorations in 2019, which allowed me to meet some professors and see Harvard Divinity School. Ultimately, this visit, along with my wish to specialize and have interactions with a myriad of different religions and different people, is really what solidified my decision to come to HDS.

Exploring Interests in New Ways

For my senior thesis at BC, I focused on how the participation of women in politics has grown through Hindu nationalism, which is an interesting paradox. When you look at a fundamentalist right-wing type of organization, it usually hearkens back to traditional values. The traditional values of womanhood are to stay in the home. But now you have these women who are fierce proponents of Hindu nationalist politics who are in leadership positions. It's an interesting thing to see. I explored that during my senior thesis, and I’ve explored that more at HDS. In particular, I took a religious nationalism class this past year that gave me a breadth of understanding of religious nationalism, historically and all over the world. It really put my thesis into perspective.

I think one of my favorite classes I took this past year was called Writing South Asia. It was like an everyday English literature class, but focused on South Asian writers. I got to read poetry anthologies, novels, and plays from critical South Asian authors. It was like a breath of fresh air, honestly. Outside of academics, I always read fiction. I appreciated the chance to read genres that I read on my own time in an academic context, as well as the opportunity to gain a different perspective on my studies within South Asia (in particular, a perspective from South Asian voices, rather than from academic texts written by old white men).

Another favorite this past semester was my “Introduction to Buddhist Commentaries” class with Charles Hallisey. We read an entire commentary a week, which is a lot of reading and a lot to process. But the class really helped me understand how to look at what scripture is. We asked, what is text versus scripture? What is the meaning versus my meaning? Can we even use the word scripture in terms of Eastern religions? That class really was a mind-blow.

Remote Learning, Real Challenges

I initially thought I would apply for a Fulbright to continue my undergraduate thesis research after graduation. But unfortunately, I don't know anymore. A lot of that is because of the past year of Zoom University was unkind to me. I was very depressed all this past year because of school online.

I've always been a very driven person, and school has been my life. As a first-gen college student, since I was born, that's what my whole family told me to do. Your only job was to go to college. To not know what I want any more has been a little bit rough. I'm a little lost, and I hope that going back in person, making some connections, and talking with people will help me get back on track.

But among not having a great time this whole past year, a highlight was my Hindi Professor Richard Delacy. We had Hindi class four days a week. It was the most fun, engaging online class ever.

I also enjoyed being a part of the Harvard Buddhist Community's Buddhism and Race speaker series planning committee. We helped organize an eight-month long speaker series, which we’ve been planning since September of last year. All first semester we planned, contacted speakers, and figured out the funding. Since January of this year, we’ve “hosted” one speaker a month to explore different topics relating to the large umbrella of what ‘Buddhism and Race’ entails. A focus has been how we can look at our own practice of Buddhism and the Dharma and apply that to the issue of our time: race and racism.

Looking Forward

I’m really looking forward to being able to meet people and make friends! I didn’t make many because of Zoom and I can’t wait to diversify. I am also really excited to just be a part of the greater Harvard community. In undergrad, I was always going to random events here and there if I had a spare hour and I hope to be able to do the same now. And of course, I am particularly pumped to be continuing my work with HBC’s Buddhism and Race committee as we gear up to plan a dynamic in-person event in spring of 2022!

Interviewed and edited by Gianna Cacciatore; photos courtesy of Chantal Sanchez.

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K-12 Words

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mark wealthy row feeling across attention ran map students inside design art mouth ring skill hot during shelter full till log (book) blossom discard bring quickly scientists party town covered wise early cram grain harm goal pause inform heal clue fame freeze badge pimple dim missionary diet dumb rod march agree stick government bulb mall ban greed skiing poison stove image grew fact material dangerous flow gap ago stack explain didn’t strong voice true drawing surface gift corner cloud since king dawn pulled dozen friends greedy burning upon knew insect decimal nervous pay foot weak smooth aware steady serve lost nonetheless beach front atlas questions less cost slight motor banner wire area carefully separate equation local minutes fast table plan fine waves fair sing dive suppose boat thousands shape among toward gas factory birds wait understand sure ship report captain human game history reflect special brave bounce though else can’t matter square syllables perhaps bill felt suddenly test direction center farmers ready anything divided general energy subject Europe moon region return believe dance members picked simple cells paint mind love cause rain exercise eggs train blue wish drop developed window difference distance heart site sum summer wall forest probably

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capture remark western outcome risk current bold compare resident ambition arrest furthermore desire confuse accurate disclose considerable contribute calculate baggage literacy noble era benefit orchard shabby content precious manufacture dusk afford assist demonstrate instant concentrate sturdy severe blend vacant weary carefree host limb pointless prepare inspire shallow chamber vast ease attentive source frantic lack recent distress basic permit threat analyze distract meadow mistrust jagged prefer sole envy hail reduce arena tour annual apparent recognize captivity burrow proceed develop humble resist peculiar response communicate circular variety frequent reveal essential disaster plead mature appropriate attractive request congratulate address destructive fragile modest attempt tradition ancestor focus flexible conclude venture impact generosity routine tragic crafty furious blossom concern ascend awkward master queasy release portion plentiful alert heroic extraordinary frontier descend invisible coax entrance capable peer terror mock outstanding valiant typical competition hardship entertain eager limp survive tidy antonym duplicate abolish approach approve glory magnificent meek prompt revive watchful wreckage audible consume glide origin prevent punctuate representative scorn stout woe arch authentic clarify declare grant grave opponent valid yearn admirable automatic devotion distant dreary exhaust kindle predict separation stunt

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evade debate dedicate budge available miniature petrify pasture banquet pedestrian solitary decline reassure nonchalant exhibit realistic exert abuse dictate minor monarch concept character strategy soar beverage tropical withdraw challenge kin navigate purchase reliable mischief solo combine vivid aroma spurt illuminate narrator retain excavate avalanche preserve suspend accomplish exasperate obsolete occasion myth reign sparse gorge intense revert antagonist talon aggressive alternate retire cautiously blizzard require endanger luxurious senseless portable sever compensate companion visual immense slither guardian compassion escalate detect protagonist oasis altitude assume seldom courteous absurd edible identical pardon approximate taunt achievement homonym hearty convert wilderness industrious sluggish thrifty deprive independent bland confident anxious astound numerous resemble route access jubilation saunter hazy impressive document moral crave gigantic bungle prefix summit overthrow perish visible translate comply intercept feeble exult compose negative suffocate frigid synonym appeal dominate deplete abundant economy desperate diligent commend boycott jovial onset burden fixture objective siege barrier conceive formal inquire penalize picturesque predator privilege slumber advantage ambition defiant fearsome imply merit negotiate purify revoke wretched absorb amateur channel elegant grace inspect lame tiresome tranquil boast eloquent glisten ideal infectious invest locate ripple sufficient uproar

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apprehensive dialogue prejudice marvel eligible accommodate arrogant distinct knack deposit liberate cumulative consequence strive salvage chronological unique vow concise influence lure poverty priority legislation significant conserve verdict leisure erupt beacon stationary generate provoke efficient campaign paraphrase swarm adhere eerie mere mimic deteriorate literal preliminary solar soothe expanse ignite verge recount apparel terrain ample quest composure majority collide prominent duration pursue innovation omniscient resolute unruly optimist restrain agony convenient constant prosper elaborate genre retrieve exploit continuous dissolve dwell persecute abandon meager elude rural retaliate primitive remote blunder propel vital designate cultivate loathe consent drastic fuse maximum negotiate barren transform conspicuous possess allegiance beneficial former factor deluge vibrant intimidate idiom dense awe rigorous manipulate transport discretion hostile clarity arid parody boisterous capacity massive prosecute declare stifle remorse refuge predicament treacherous inevitable ingenious plummet adapt monotonous accumulate reinforce extract reluctant vacate hazardous inept diminish domestic linger context excel cancel distribute document fragile myth reject scuffle solitary temporary veteran assault convert dispute impressive justify misleading numerous productive shrewd strategy villain bluff cautious consist despise haven miniature monarch obstacle postpone straggle vivid aggressive associate deceive emigrate flexible glamour hazy luxurious mishap overwhelm span blemish blunt capable conclude detect fatigue festive hospitality nomad supreme

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exclude civic compact painstaking supplement habitat leeway minute hoax contaminate likeness migration commentary extinct tangible originate urban unanimous subordinate collaborate obstacle esteem encounter futile cordial trait improvises superior exaggerate anticipate cope evolve eclipse dissent anguish subsequent sanctuary formulates makeshift controversy diversity terminate precise equivalent pamper prior potential obnoxious radiant predatory presume permanent pending simultaneously tamper supervise perceived vicious patronize trickle stodgy rant oration preview species poised perturb vista wince yearn persist shirk status tragedy trivial snare vindictive wrath recede peevish rupture unscathed random toxic void orthodox subtle resume sequel upright wary overwhelm perjury uncertainty prowess utmost throb pluck pique vengeance pelt urgent substantial robust sullen retort ponder whim saga sham reprimand vocation assimilate dub defect accord embark desist dialect chastise banter inaugurate ovation barter muse blasé stamina atrocity deter principal liberal epoch preposterous advocate audacious dispatch incense deplore institute deceptive component subside spontaneous bonanza ultimate wrangle clarify hindrance irascible plausible profound infinite accomplish apparent capacity civilian conceal duplicate keen provoke spurt undoing vast withdraw barrier calculate compose considerable deputy industrious jolt loot rejoice reliable senseless shrivel alternate demolish energetic enforce feat hearty mature observant primary resign strive verdict brisk cherish considerate displace downfall estimate humiliate identical improper poll soothe vicinity abolish appeal brittle condemn descend dictator expand famine portable prey thrifty visual

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stance vie instill exceptional avail strident formidable rebuke enhance benign perspective tedious aloof encroach memoir mien desolate inventive prodigy staple stint fallacy grope vilify recur assail tirade antics recourse clad jurisdiction caption pseudonym reception humane ornate sage ungainly overt sedative amiss convey connoisseur rational enigma fortify servile fastidious contagious elite disgruntled eccentric pioneer abet luminous era sleek serene proficient rue articulate awry pungent wage deploy anarchy culminate inventory commemorate muster adept durable foreboding lucrative modify authority transition confiscate pivotal analogy avid flair ferret decree voracious imperative grapple deface augment shackle legendary trepidation discern glut cache endeavor attribute phenomenon balmy bizarre gullible loll rankle decipher sublime rubble renounce porous turbulent heritage hover pithy allot minimize agile renown fend revenue versa gaunt haven dire doctrine intricate conservative exotic facilitate bountiful cite panorama swelter foster indifferent millennium gingerly conscientious intervene mercenary citadel obviously rely supportive sympathy weakling atmosphere decay gradual impact noticeable recede stability variation approximately astronomical calculation criterion diameter evaluate orbit sphere agricultural decline disorder identify probable thrive expected widespread bulletin contribution diversity enlist intercept operation recruit survival abruptly ally collide confident conflict protective taunt adaptation dormant forage frigid hibernate insulate export glisten influence landscape native plantation restore urge blare connection errand exchange

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feasible teem pang vice tycoon succumb capacious onslaught excerpt eventful forfeit crusade tract haggard susceptible exemplify ardent crucial excruciating embargo disdain apprehend surpass sporadic flustered languish conventional disposition theme plunder ignore project complaint title dramatic delivery litter experimental clinic arrogance preparation remind atomic occasional conscious deny maturity closure stressed translator animate observation physical further gently registration suppress combination amazing constructive allied poetry passion ecstasy mystery cheerful contribution spirit failed gummy commerce prove disagreement raid consume embarrass preference migrant devour encouragement quote mythology destined destination illuminating struggle accent ungrateful giggle approval confidence expose scientist operation superstitious emergency manners absolutely swallow readily mutual bound crisp orient stress sort stare comfort verbal heel challenging advertisement envious sex scar astonish basis accuracy enviable alliance specific chef embarrassed counter tolerable sympathetic gradually vanish informative amaze royal furry insist jealousy simplify quiver collaborate dedicated flexible function mimic obstacle technique archaeologist fragment historian intact preserve reconstruct remnant commence deed exaggeration heroic impress pose saunter wring astound concealed inquisitive interpret perplexed precise reconsider suspicious anticipation defy entitled neutral outspoken reserved sought equal absorb affect circulate conserve cycle necessity seep barren expression meaningful plume focused genius perspective prospect stunned superb transition assume guarantee nominate

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install reticent corroborate regretfully strength murder concise cunning intention holy satire query confused progression disillusion background mundane abrupt multiple enormously introduce emulate harmful pragmatic pity rebut liberate enthusiastic elucidate camaraderie disparage nature creep profitability impression racist sobriety occupy autonomy currently amiable reiterate reproduce cripple modest offer atom provincial augment ungratefully expansion yield rashly allude immigration silence epitome exacerbate somber avid dispute vindicate collaborate manufacturer embellish superficial propaganda incompetent objective diminish statistics endure ambivalent perpetuate illuminate phenomenon exasperate originality restrict anxiety anthropology circumstances aesthetic manufacturing conventional dubious vulnerable reality precedent entity success term critical repair underscore stepmother republican hesitantly classic wary contents prediction immediate invoke notorious implicit excluding input skeptical foster element punish frank humanity profound dessert orthodox substance disappear encourage neighborhood elder superfluous naive ascertain complacent resilient deafening military tend prudent glare acceptance skillfully induce monster beam gullible conciliate vessel petty cantankerous disclose archaeology anecdote disdain electronics substantiate subjective tourism advisable joyful incredible provocative psychological ruins discipline condone indifferent misfortune judgmental industrialize tasty assume astute mission mar protective definitely escape oppress shocked virtual zealous endorse qualification hostile eccentric abstract disparate geographical scrutinize generalization tolerate activity claim dogmatic influential obsolete extol implausible subsequent resource chronic benevolent improve confidential ambiguous seriously dearth perplex hatred throughout dine contemporary evoke essentially economic flagrant obscure alleviate eloquent dreaadful clumsy sympathy victim condemn vigor condescend spontaneous quell reprehensible substantially sleeve equivocal ironic decry errand articulate progressive eradicate refreshments elicit aspiration recently exemplary bribery theoretical disingenuous partisan revere particle nostalgia self-aggrandizement debunk tyranny rhetoric hierarchy warning whimsical venerate commend assert miserable awful vibe constrain undermine explicit differentiate compliment scrupulous contempt erroneous ideal refute imply cynical rash presume insight revival vary delay renounce indignant offensive temperate circumstantial export peep logo advertise suppress distort chunk convoluted denounce overwhelming fertility rigorous acquire arrogant university antagonize profitable indulgent strategic breathing idiosyncrasy profession frugal discern accommodation adversary incredulous disturbance digress social belie roam smug continual pertinent voluntarily elite subtle blame sincerity lick horror censure involvement candid infer futile impetuous exploit bewilder sustain diligent sincere protect sealed musical empathy callous parenthetical insure acorn sarcasm seize sacrificially allege emphatic irrelevant progress diplomatic stunned improvise deride reconcile meticulous deject scientifically incontrovertible pressure justify gloomy depict supplant endurance analogous diary bolster slip contemplate pesticide glow religious advocate negligent creator lament fundamental embrace throne inherent inferior valuable thrive trivial pretense reserved capricious refresh refusal flight boost explanation coherent prevalent tenacious official royalty assassin rub poach delete

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warrant circumscribed somewhat explosive optimistic mandate previously detract opinion intuitive feasible intimate persistent humble simplicity tempt deliberate painful unethical fundamentals discrepancy remorse pessimistic possibility conclusion acknowledge impregnate soberly creation paralyze suitability oblige tranquil medal arbitrate pacify illusory susceptible vibrate vengeance infection democratic stressful grave speculative sample identification stifle obligation revenge organization namely mediocre practical scream weaken consensus affectionate deficient treacherous console isolation ingenious memory melodrama despair awestruck composition regret recommendation celebrity decision devoid opaque ornamentation longevity participate dread restore interrogate aid accordingly mislead embarrassment optimism domestic apt funds virtue geography fundamentally thoroughly press despite horrible chilling rental esteemed disappointment innovative contemplation assign popularize haunt deafen serene percent estrangement suffer extravagant throng estimate comment priesthood mass dreadfully promote periphery animated saying relate clarity triple derivative succeed distortion register suicide improvement discreet inquisition probable curative incident praise convenience baffle covet dreadful genuinely weary undisturbed disgruntled humility renown nonchalant monopoly comedy vague decisive inconsequential announcement fabricated nevertheless vigilant scarce neglectful hushed attainment tedious explode snatch pslm agency sentimental tension adhere meanwhile sacred avert conformity likewise challenger accessible responsibility peril contact event roast fallible catastrophic competitor violate resolute deceive exaggeration discredit intolerable approve paste dimly novelist demeanor norm politician satisfaction obvious vehicle reservation defer involve restoration crush audible assistant backpack attain inanimate commemorate confrontation emigration parasite disperse quantitative laughter policy vulgar occasionally repay effective eulogy starvation empty therapeutic overall immortal encompass inappropriate opportune engagement illustrate turmoil observatory classification expression reminiscence comedian invention depress remedy protagonist gesture texture diplomatic election prolong conducive emotional invigorate curiosity expressive %

K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite