#wondering how stifled i would feel in the workplace and how sickening and torturous it would be to hear ppl's regurgitated mainstream takes
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week 3 of
#knowing i'd rather be dead than have to live in a world where this can happen and be ignored#feeling ppls silence like a physical presence and not knowing whether im right to hate them for it#whether it means theyve always hated Me and my people#being so painfully aware of the festering rot that is capitalism and how it infests every single facet of society around the world#and knowing that i still need to go back to playing by its fucking rules eventually or i will be left to fend for myself#wondering how stifled i would feel in the workplace and how sickening and torturous it would be to hear ppl's regurgitated mainstream takes#on this ''complex geopolitical conflict''#or this ''isr*el-h*mas war'' (it is not a conflict and it is not a war)#feeling ppl's discomfort when i speak honestly when i show them just how deep this is cutting. bc to them it's not that deep#for the average white leftist it's prob just a ''thank god my favorite celebrity is on the right side of history''#for the average liberal it's Condemn Cruelty On Both Sides and an outright denial of the decades of barbarism & white supremacy that#created this catastrophe#knowing just how much ppl always want to return to ''normal'' at the expense of the marginalized. knowing they'll forget all abt this#the second we let them#but that the images we've seen and the crimes we've witnessed and the difficult realizations this has wrenched out of us will remain#i have so much despair inside me lmao and idk how much longer i can possibly carry it#there are brief moments of reprieve where it hardens into anger or ebbs into numbness but the grief always takes over at night#i feel like i cant look at anyone or anything the same way again
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